


Gifted

by darcythe2nd



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bella has a tragic past, Bella is not a doormat, Dark, Dark Bella Swan, Dickward...sort of, Drama, Epic, Epic Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Family, Family Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Feels, Femslash, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Forgiveness, Friendship, Guilt, Humor, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Light moments too, Overpowered but not Mary-Sue, Plot Devices, Plot Driven, Plot Twists, Polyamory, Realistic Relationship Development, Romance, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Smut, Survivor Guilt, Tragedy, Twilight Series Rewrite, independent bella
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 84
Words: 216,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29043357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darcythe2nd/pseuds/darcythe2nd
Summary: A terrible gift manifests itself in Bella at a young age and forces her to run for seven long years. 16 now, she has gained some control over the monster inside her and begins to hope for a normal life with her father in Forks, if he can ever forgive her. In Forks she meets and falls in love with the Cullens, who help her come to terms with her past. Femslash. Bella/Rosalie. AU.I'm bringing this story over from Fanfiction.net where it has lived since I first published on January 21, 2013.Don't dismiss this story solely based on the fact that it's Rosalie/Bella AND Rosalie/Emmett. Love works in mysterious ways, and the power of stories is that they can open our eyes and our hearts to things that we may never get to experience or witness in our regular lives. There's a lot more than romance in this story. There's serious drama, angst, self discovery, growth, and familial and friendship love, action, and more. I've been humbled with overwhelmingly positive feedback from readers, many of whom have found themselves reading on and enjoying the story despite initial reservations. So let go a little of your presumptions, your discomfort, and give this a go.
Relationships: Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Rosalie Hale/Bella Swan
Comments: 71
Kudos: 140





	1. Bella

**Author's Note:**

> AU Re-write of the Twilight Series. AU but also quite realistic. There's no love at first sight then wam, bam, "now we're mates for life!" deal. If that's your cup of tea and you're not in the mood for something new you might as well leave now.
> 
> Also, this story has elements of polyamory. Polyamory is NOT the same thing as polygamy (though you'd never guess based on the number of flames I've gotten in reviews and private messages). I know, believe me I know that 99.9% of you have never given this concept more than a cursory thought before dismissing it. I know that for a lot of you it's just not something you could ever consider much less conceive of. I know a lot of you are here because of the Rosalie/Bella pairing or because it says femslash in the summary. By the way if that's you, you won't be disappointed! The M rating most definitely applies and all of you who are hungry for some fem loving will find it here, cross my heart!
> 
> But I beg you not to dismiss this story solely based on the fact that it's Rosalie/Bella AND Rosalie/Emmett. Love works in mysterious ways, and the power of stories is that they can open our eyes and our hearts to things that we may never get to experience or witness in our regular lives. There's a lot more than romance in this story. There's serious drama, angst (but with legitimate reasons, lol), self discovery, growth, and familial and friendship love, action, and more. I've been humbled with overwhelmingly positive feedback from readers, many of whom have found themselves reading on and enjoying the story despite initial reservations. I'm not saying this is a golden ticket of a story (god, I'm definitely not that vain and I've read way more superb stories on here than this first effort of mine), but I am saying, I am beseeching you to let go a little of your presumptions, your discomfort, and give this a go. Some of you might still be disappointed. But I think a lot of you will be glad that you held on.
> 
> With that, I present: Gifted.

It was difficult, the memories hazy now, but when she reflected long and hard Bella could almost remember her life before...Though she was always lonely, there were enough good memories with her mother and father to make her nostalgic. She remembered days in the park, birthdays and Christmases. She remembered watching her mother cook while she did her homework after school. She remembered playing catch with her father. It wasn't a perfect life by no means, but it was a content and simple one.

How she wished she could completely forget it.

* * *

**Tomorrow night:**

_Ring. Ring._

'Pick up. Don't pick up. Pick up. Don't--'

"Hello?" A deep voice asked.

She held her breath. God, what was I thinking? She thought to herself. Her free hand was clenched so hard the knuckles were turning white. Her other hand squeezed the phone, painfully, against the side of her head.

"Hello? Who is this?" The man on the other side asked, the irritation quickly seeping into his voice.

And still, Bella couldn't think past the terror in her mind. She was beginning to feel discomfort now. She hadn't moved a muscle or, more importantly, taken a breath for almost a minute now. Gently she exhaled, and moved her lips hoping a sound might come out.

_Click._

She closed her eyes and took in a big gulp of air. Exhale. Another breath. She placed the receiver back in its cradle and leaned all her weight onto the payphone.

It had been seven years, but his voice was unmistakable. She blinked back a tear as she thought how both wonderful and painful it was to hear her father's voice again.

* * *

**Today:**

A quick glance at her watch told her it was 10 minutes after closing time. Still, she held still for a few more minutes, listening carefully for any disturbance before she relaxed enough to move more than a few inches. She slowly opened the door of her hideout, a closet full of paper supplies, and walked up the stairs.

The library was deserted and dark now, having closed at 9 PM. She liked this library. She had been haunting it for nearly a month, and would be sad to leave it behind. There were no security cameras or motion sensors, which was how she was able to spend so many nights here undetected. It was hidden from the main road just enough for her to be able to turn on a few small lights without fear of detection. Best of all, the staff kitchen was always so full of food she was able to sneak herself a small dinner every night without it being noticeable the next day. At least, she didn't think anyone had noticed.

Bella cautiously walked toward her favorite armchair and pulled off her backpack before plopping down and sighing loudly. Another day, she thought.

She allowed herself a few moments free of stress and worry, then pulled herself back up and walked towards the architecture aisle. She grabbed a few promising looking books and headed back to her spot, sighed again and started reading--but not before setting an alarm for 3 AM. She knew the cleaners came every morning at 5, and the 2-hour cushion was as close as she dared get.

As she read and looked longingly at the pictures of the warm, inviting homes she couldn't stop the pang in her stomach as she inevitably thought of the home from long ago, and the home she couldn't ever have now. The thoughts soon overtook her reading, and she felt the pangs become stronger and stronger. Something light up inside her and just as quickly extinguished as she opened her eyes wide and mentally scolded herself. 'Stop it,' she thought to herself. 'You haven't had a reaction in months. Don't fuck it up now, Bella Swan.'

She focused on breathing, on clearing her mind until the strong emotions she felt not a few moments ago ebbed back into the familiar quiet ache.

She sighed and closed the book.

"Maybe a different subject tonight," she said out loud. Carefully, she shelved the books she had taken back exactly where they belonged. A few aisles over she picked up a book about the secret life of dogs.

Six hours later, her beeping watch forced her to close her book (the 9th one of the night) and make her way out of the building. She carefully scanned her area to be sure nothing was amiss before heading back downstairs to the supply closet and the window with the broken lock. She climbed out, her backpack tied securely to her back, and slowly made her way along an unlit portion of the sidewalk, down the short hill on which the library stood, and on to the woods. When she was a good couple of miles in, she swiftly climbed the sturdy tree that had been her bed for the last month. With a loud sigh she laid back on her sleeping bag which was securely tied to the branches it was resting on, and closed her eyes.

Another night, was her last thought as she drifted to a restless sleep.


	2. Survival

It was nearly noon when Bella awoke. Her stomach was growling rather conspicuously though it was probably the steadily increasing rain that jolted her out of sleep. She checked her watch, then with practiced hands she untied herself and her sleeping bag from the tree branches and rolled it up inside her backpack. She looked around and spotted no one in the area. With a small smile she stood on a branch, then after quickly glancing around once more, leaped to the ground-over 50 feet below.

She did not plummet to her death. Instead she felt the wind thicken underneath her, almost like an invisible but-to her-a palpable cushion that held her as she gently drifted down. When she was mere inches from the forest floor the air cushion disintegrated and she landed.

This particular gift always made her smile. But as always, as she felt the joy radiating through her she forced herself to stop. She gritted her teeth and took a few slow, deliberate breaths.

"Well, a good morning to you too, Bella," she said to herself sarcastically.

* * *

Normally she would wait until the schools let out before she wandered back into town (unwise to attract attention...and a young girl alone and not in school day after day would definitely attract unwanted attention), but she needed a couple of new shirts and embarrassingly, she needed to shore up her feminine hygiene supplies. It doesn't sound like much, but Bella had no money. Therefore in order to procure anything she had to resort to some creative, and less than legal means.

She had to be extremely careful. Not only did she have to watch for the obvious-not get caught stealing, she also had to time everything just right so her...methods...wouldn't be detected.

She decided to start at the supermarket. It was a big place that was busy all the time. Easy to be inconspicuous. She walked along the main road for 20 minutes before spotting the giant box store and the hundreds of cars belonging to its patrons. She immediately felt the butterflies in her stomach shift around. In all the years since...since the incident, she spent as little time as possible around other people. It was a miracle she hadn't lost her mind actually. But sane or not, she now felt incredibly uneasy in the presence of large crowds. Uneasy yet...so envious. To be normal like them...she shook her head as she felt her heart tighten and she hissed at herself, "stop it! Breathe, Bella, breathe."

She made it to the door without further incident, grabbed a basket and walked inside.

Though she'd been inside countless stores and buildings over the years, she still felt a small shock every time she experienced the contrast of the garish fluorescent lighting to the natural outdoors. Yes, you're a regular Pocahontas now, she chuckled to herself. A young man near her heard her laugh and smiled at her. Bella's face quickly turned blank and she turned in the opposite direction before she could do something to attract more attention.

Here we go, she thought as she started her routine.

She walked down the aisles of the store, neither strolling nor in any particular rush. She had to be careful not to appear out of place, occasionally pondering some product or another and putting something inside her basket. All the while though, she scanned the people around her. She always looked for a particular type-expensive clothing, a bulky purse, or a bulging coat pocket. Without the ability to read minds, she had no other method save for her intuition to determine who had enough money that they wouldn't miss it if some of it inexplicably disappeared.

She was making a show of looking at the different varieties of bagged nuts when she thought she found a suitable candidate. He was a gruff looking middle-aged man wearing a very nice overcoat...and as he passed her, Bella saw a thick wallet in his pocket stuffed with cash.

She didn't move to follow him, but quickly looked back and forth and saw that no one else was in that aisle. She placed the bag of nuts in her basket and walked purposefully in the man's direction, pretending to look up at the big sign at the end of the aisle. As she neared him, he bent down slightly to examine whatever was on the shelves. Gotcha, she thought. She could see the wad of cash perfectly from this angle. She took a deep but quiet breath and called on her gift.

Under her gaze, four $20 bills slid from the rest and zoomed, too fast for even the security cameras to see, into Bella's empty pocket. She didn't break her stride, but continued walking to the next aisle. The whole encounter had taken just 3 seconds.

She didn't show any outward signs of change, but in her mind Bella relaxed a little. Now that the necessary "prep" for her shopping was complete she did start to feel some guilt, but she shook her head to quickly rid those thoughts. She did everything possible to minimize these...activities. She was always careful with who she took from. Besides, it's not like she partied with this cash. Really, that she could live on such meager funds and not need to repeat this episode for a few more weeks was quite a feat.

Sighing, she knew she was making excuses...trying to minimize her crimes. But really, what else could she do? It's not like she could get a job. The second anyone realized she didn't have an address or adult supervision...No, she didn't like it but this was the only way to keep from hurting others.

10 minutes later, Bella was back outside carrying a box of tampons, some non-perishable food, and value pack of underwear. She walked another half hour till she found a second-hand clothing store. There she lucked out and found 2 t-shirts, a light jacket, and a pair of blue jeans with only one hole in each knee all for under $20. She still had $40 left and she carefully folded those bills inside her left shoe.

All in all, a pretty successful afternoon. She smiled slightly and hummed to herself as she made her way back to her library.


	3. Possibilities

Bella looked up from her book (a biography of Neil Armstrong) and surreptitiously glanced in the direction of the sniggering. A group of kids, high school level by the varsity jacket one of them wore, were chatting and laughing and obviously not getting much studying done. They were sitting in the middle of the young adult area. Bella, as always, was tucked into the most remote corner she could find-in a library, usually this was the genealogical or local history room.

She couldn't hear what they were saying, but it was their faces that Bella was drawn to, not their words. They were animated, bright, full of life. She tried to picture herself at their table, laughing and talking amongst them. She imagined herself with regular teenage problems...grades, boys, parents. 'What would it be like to study with my friends,' she pondered. 'Or gossip about the latest crush? Or complain about my parents? What would it be like if my biggest worry was what dress I was going to wear to prom?'

She knew better than to go along this line of thinking, she thought as she frowned to herself. Hell, all these things she was wondering about...she didn't actually know if they were really what other kids dealt with. After all, she only knew about them from reading crappy teen books.

'Oh don't kid yourself,' she thought bitterly. 'Even when things were normal, you still didn't have friends. What makes you think it would have changed at all? It probably would've gotten worse.'

It was a cheap excuse, she knew, but it helped dull the ache a little. The truth was, even though she was a bully magnet as a child and probably would have experienced the same or stronger levels of intolerance as a young adult if she had stayed in the same school system, Bella still longed for that hypothetical life she knew she could never ever have. The odds couldn't have been that impossible, could they? Surely, if she had spent the last seven years with other kids...surely she would have made one single friend?

Her stomach coiled, both from hunger and emotional pain. Steady, she thought to herself. She looked at her watch. It was almost closing time. She put her books away and quickly walked out of the building and a little ways away. Finding a dry spot, she sat down and ate a granola bar and some dried fruit. Yum, she thought sarcastically. Hopefully there would be some lunch meat or something more fulfilling in the staff fridge...

* * *

She could hear them. Immediately, Bella's heart started to speed and she quickly ran down her options. It was 9:00 and the kids were lounging outside, waiting for their rides most likely. They probably wouldn't notice her, much less talk to her, but still she had to plan what her next moves would be.

"Dude, my parents have been unbearable lately! They're making me take practice tests every week! I actually dread the weekend now," said one of the boys.

"Hey at least your folks are trying to help you," a short, dark haired girl said. "I've explained the SATs to them like a thousand times, and they still don't get how important prep classes are. I'm doomed!"

"You guys, chill!" Another girl exclaimed. "You both get, like, amazing grades already. You'll be fine! Even if you don't study at all Jules, you'll probably ace the SATs. And Dave, I'll bet my left leg you'll be the youngest doctor in the state when you're done."

The first boy smiled. "Doctor Dave. I like the sound of that." He laughed and pretended to check one of the girls' lungs with an imaginary stethoscope.

"Ew, you perv!" someone shrieked, though she sounded like she was enjoying his attention.

"What about you, Em? Thought about what you'll do after graduation?" Dave asked.

"Ugh, yeah." The last girl, Em, said. "I actually faked a college application, you know for fun and to see what the real thing looked like. I can't believe the amount of paperwork! And how much they want to know about your school activities? I mean come on! And now I have to get my dad to get off his ass and the chick he's shagging-don't give me that look Jules, I have a right to bitch about this...that whore is almost as young as we are!-to get him to fill out his portion of the application. Seriously, it'd be easier if he was dead."

"Ookay, thanks for the images Em. But I was asking for what you think you'll major in," said Dave.

"Oh," Em said sheepishly. "Law. Then I can sue his ass." She grinned.

A car approached the kids then, and they all piled in laughing their heads off from a joke Bella didn't hear.

A minute later it was quiet once again. This is when she'd normally make her way to the unlocked window to the basement storage room, but tonight something held Bella back.

How long could she keep this up? She had been hiding, running, sneaking around for so long it was second nature to her now. But did she really want to spend her entire life like this? She had exiled herself for a reason, but she was so good at controlling her..herself now. She hadn't lost control in months, and when she almost had she was able to stop herself before anything happened. Doesn't that mean, she gulped at the implications, that she could go home?

Of course not, she thought, and the anguish of the sudden emotions that hit her had her keeling over and clutching at her stomach. How could she even think that? She had no home to go to. And the person that, maybe, possibly-no, no, it was impossible. How could he ever forgive her? She remembered that night so clearly. Too clearly. She clenched her jaws. Figures, she thought, that her photographic memory would begin on the one night she'd do anything to forget.

No. Her father was not an option. But how else could she move forward? She needed to go to school. Get an education. Work and earn a living, a real one. To do that she needed to graduate high school at the very least. She needed a parent to speak on her behalf so she could get started. She shuddered at the idea of walking into a social services office. She'd read too many horror stories for that to ever be an option. Not at her age anyway, and certainly not with her...peculiarities.

This was the first time since the incident that she even considered the idea, the possibility of seeing her father again. She tried to brush the thoughts away but the germ had already spread, and she couldn't help but dream of a new life.

She thought of little else as she entered the library. As if her wandering thoughts were now controlling her muscles, Bella made her way to the row of public computers. She pulled up a search engine and typed: "Charlie Swan".


	4. Charlie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review, if you've gotta moment. Enjoy!

After combing through a dozen false Charlie's (he was thankfully, not the prolific porn star Charles Swan) she found him. He was a police officer, a police chief in a town called Forks in Washington state. She had to do another search for the town, it was so small she'd never heard of it. Population 3,545.

She sighed again. She needed to stop getting ahead of herself. What was the next step? Just pick up the phone and call him? He could be remarried. He could-she couldn't bear to think it, but he could very well have a new family now. Even if he didn't, what could she possibly say that he'd even allow himself to hear? He'd probably hang up the second he realized who she was, if the last conversation they had was any indication. Still...it was so long ago.

Exactly, she thought angrily to herself. He probably moved on, assuming you were dead and gone. Should she really reopen his wounds, just for her own selfishness? Her heart and stomach recoiled. The pain, long kept at bay by her disciplined mind, started to creep past her defenses.

She slammed her fist down on the table. 'Control yourself!' She thought. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the steady rhythm of her breathing until she felt the sparks inside her disappear back into her body.

"That's the second time in one day you almost lost control," she murmured quietly. 'It's also the second time in one day I was able to stop myself,' she thought with a slight twinge of hope. 'That's never happened before.'

Once again, it was like her muscles disconnected themselves from her brain as they searched Charlie's name in an online phone book. There. He was listed. Right in front of her, she could see his address and phone number. And as much as part of her, a big part, warned her of the foolishness of what she was about to do, another long veiled part of her yearned for it. And she couldn't unlearn what she now knew. The way to her father was now stamped onto her brain the way everything since that night somehow stuck inside her mind. She would go mad if she had this information and did nothing. She had to at least try.

* * *

 _Ring. Ring_.

'Pick up. Don't pick up. Pick up. Don't-'

"Hello?"

Once again, it was like Bella had lost her voice. She was startled at her own terror the first time she had called him. His voice...it brought back memories she would have prefered stay submerged. It brought back a simpler, happier time and she had to struggle greatly to keep from losing her tight control.

"Goddamn it! I'm gonna trace this call you bastard and you better hope I do-"

"Dad," it came out a whisper, but it was out.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She swallowed hard. Please don't hang up. Please don't ha-

"Who is this?" He said, slowly enunciated each word.

Here goes nothing...

"Dad," Bella said, louder this time. "It's Bella."

She heard a deep breath. It could have been a gasp. And then silence again. She stopped herself from adding anything else. The ball was in his court. If he still hated her and never wanted to speak to her again...well he could hang up, and that would be that. She promised herself right there that if he did that, she would not try again. She would let him live in peace.

Wait. Just wait, she thought to herself. Wait for him!

"Bella..." It was his turn to whisper now. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No!" I said quickly, working hard not to yell. "No. Dad it's me."

Silence again. She decided to take a risk.

"Do-do you want me to hang up? If that's what you want, I will...and I won't call again. I won't be upset, Dad. Really. Just, just say the word and I'll go."

"No," he said quickly. "You don't have to do that. Just give me a minute."

Exaltation nearly overtook her. There's a chance! There really is a chance! She took a deep breath, and waited.

It was probably just a few seconds but it felt like minutes to Bella. She imagined him standing...no, sitting on a couch. The phone was probably docked on a side table near him. She remembered him loving to watch sports...could he have been watching a game on TV when she called? Washington was a time zone away. It was Thursday night. What sport might it be? Despite her perfect memory she knew nothing about sports, except that most of them required a ball. Maybe she ought to read up on the subject.

"Bella," he started quietly. "Why are you calling?"

Bella's heart fell. She had no idea how to begin explaining. She knew what she wanted, but...Oh god, what had she done?

Slowly and with much hesitation, Bella started. "I uh, I missed you." Weak, she thought to herself. "It's been...so long, and to be honest...I'd like to come home." There it is.

Quickly she added, "I've been good. Nothing...nothing has happened in a very long time. I can control it now, and-" She felt her emotions coming apart as the weight of her exile bared down on her. "Dad I'll never forgive myself. I-I still don't understand what happened that night. I never meant...you know I'd never intend- Please, Dad. It's been seven years. I just want a chance at a normal life. Please. Please let me come home."

She hadn't planned on laying it all out there like that, but she couldn't take it back now. If he refused...after baring herself to him like this, if he still refused...she couldn't let herself think about it. There was no Plan B. She had nobody else in the world.

There was the sound of heavy breathing on the line. She couldn't tell if it was sadness or anger. Or hatred.

"I don't forgive you. I don't think I ever will," he said.

Bella tried, but she couldn't stop the tears this time. She breathed in and out, counting each breath in vain hope of shielding herself against her father's words. It didn't work.

"But I believe you, Bella. If you say you can control it now, I believe you."

She waited, the tears raining down her face freely now. They haven't done that in years...

"You can come home," he said.

She gasped. What did he say? It was her turn to be silent as she replayed his words in her mind. He didn't forgive her. He never would. He believed her. Home.

"Do you mean that?" She whispered.

"Yes, Bella." He said much more quietly. "I think it's what your mother would want."

She felt a fresh wave of pain, nearly suffocating her. It was like someone had kicked her in the gut. Her mother...hearing Charlie mention her mother completely obliterated the shield she had carefully built over the years. She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting a battle with the monster inside that nearly brought her down to her knees.

He must have heard her hushed sobbing. He must have. She took a deep breath, and steadied herself. Just another minute, she thought.

She quickly did the calculation in her head (thank god for my super brain, she thought).

"Thank you Dad," she said through her tears. "The trip will take me a while. Does 30 days from now give you enough time? I don't have any school records, but they can test me can't they?"

"Yes," he sighed. "I believe they can. I'll figure something out. Is there a number where I can reach you if I need to ask you something?"

"No," she said. "But I have an email address that I can check. Will that do?"

She had just seconds left.

"Very well," he said.

She spelled out her email for him, and hung up with a stiff goodbye. She dropped the receiver and bolted away from the phone. Running faster than she usually permitted herself, she grabbed her bag and sprinted down the stairs and out the storage room's window. She held on until she made it a few hundred feet into the forest. And then she finally released the dam that for so long had kept the monster inside.


	5. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review, if you've gotta moment. Enjoy!

**Day 20 of the trip**

Bella was stronger than she thought. The trip she had calculated was based on a 30-mile journey each day for 30 days, plus a couple of days cushion. Even with the half day delay due to her...condition...and of course, procuring her bike, she was able to make the 830 mile journey from Helena, MT to Forks in two thirds of the time she had allotted herself.

As she left the last town before she would reach Forks, she made the decision to keep her word to her father and wait until the 30th day to see him. That gave her more than a week to prepare herself.

Among the dozens of running thoughts and worries going through her head at the same time, one stood out: what was he going to tell people here?

If the town knew the Chief's wife and daughter were dead...how the hell was he going to explain Bella's sudden appearance? She didn't think they knew nothing of it...her parents had lived here before moving to Phoenix. Her father had then come back without his wife or daughter. There was no reason for him to lie back then. He had to have told the truth about Renee. It was all over the news after all. But Bella? Surely if he'd said she was killed as well, he wouldn't have so readily accepted her request to come home? The Chief's daughter, back from the dead?

But how else could he have explained her absence?

She sighed and rubbed her temples. She'd been inside her head a little too much the past three weeks, more so than could possibly be healthy.

She reached by her neck and grabbed hold of the tube connected to the new, now slightly worn pack tied to her back. She brought it to her lips and drank in the last of her water. Just as well, she thought. She had just passed the "Welcome to Forks" sign. She was here.

* * *

She decided not to risk going into town, at least during open hours, before she saw Charlie. Not knowing her official story, she'd rather be safe than sorry. And she didn't want to get her father into trouble.

So unless she wanted to turn around and stay in the next town over, she was left with little choice. She would have to stay in the forest. That was perfectly fine by Bella. The forests here were beautiful, more lush and vibrant than she'd ever seen in the midwest. She could do without the constant rain, she admitted to herself, but her new jacket did a better job than any of her old things at keeping her warm and dry.

She sighed as she thought of the last three weeks.

She had been forced to disobey her rules on the first day of her journey. The trip was too important, and 830 miles was not going to be an easy task. But she was determined to get to Charlie without incidents, so she gritted her teeth and waited in the woods behind the sporting goods store until over an hour after closing. With what she was planning, she wasn't going to take any risks.

She made her way inside (her levitation forced the lock open in seconds) and proceeded to haul out her biggest load yet.

She winced, still feeling guilty...but if she was honest with herself she was more guilty with how much she loved this bike than with her methods of acquiring it.

The Trek bike she had taken that night was worth more than what she normally needed to survive for a year. She would know-she did the math. But it was absolutely perfect, better than anything she'd ever ridden. It was stable, smooth, comfortable, and in the nearly 1000 miles she'd ridden it over all kinds of terrain it had rarely given her any problems. Worn out from her emotional meltdown earlier, Bella had given into temptation and treated herself for the first time since she'd been on her own. Maybe she was just relieved she hadn't killed anyone earlier that night.

She left the store 2 hours later with a new quality daypack stuffed with the other items she-attained. New shoes, windbreaker, heavier coat, several pairs of warm leggings and shirts, gloves, and a small blanket. The panniers she'd outfitted her bike with were also full of small luxuries she had never allowed herself before, and for the first time in her life, she now had an actual tent. She'd experienced a brief moment of wonder when it occurred to her that in seven years of sleeping in trees, caves, on rooftops and on wherever she could find on a dry forest floor, she had never even thought of finding herself a tent.

She shook her head as she cycled. No point dwelling.

Though riding furiously, Bella had also spent the 20 days quietly rebuilding her mental walls. She put more thought and care than she had previously thought possible into them. She had even, after furtively checking for miles around, on several nights purposefully thought about things that usually...resulted in terrible outcomes. She needed to test herself, to see if she could possibly make herself any stronger before she would have to face her father and everyone else who would surely be interested in her. She succeeded. Still to her complete and utter surprise, she had succeeded.

She neared a bridge that she knew as soon as she crossed would take her into the middle of town. She spied a well-trodden path a few dozen feet in front of her, before she would reach the bridge, and turned. Time to be Pocahontas again, she sighed to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I'd really appreciate hearing from you. What do you think so far? I know it's mad early in the story, but what are your thoughts on Bella's gift?


	6. Cullens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review, if you've gotta moment. Enjoy!

Bella smiled when she reached the stream. It was like something out of a fairy tale. She set down her things and quickly refilled her water supply. Then, in a spontaneous move so unlike her, she took off her shoes and socks, rolled up her pants and dipped her tired feet into the crisp water. After the initial bite she relaxed and laid back into the damp earth.

"Mmmm," she moaned.

She kept her eyes closed and focused on the sounds nature shared around her. The water trickling downstream would have put her to sleep if she wasn't so focused. As always, she listened carefully to the soft breeze for anything it might tell her.

She didn't fully understand how this gift worked. Nonetheless she understood how to use it. Everyone could feel when the wind blew against their face, could hear when it rustled through leaves or blew against a window. Bella could too, but she could also interact with it like it was a physical object. She could manipulate it to move other objects for her. It was how she could float down from impossible heights-the wind simply did as she asked. It wrapped itself around her and protected her from harm, slowing her down as she descended. The same way, she could levitate any object in any direction she fancied.

Bella could also communicate with it. Not exactly talking...but if there was a train heading towards her she would be able to pick up the wind's interaction with it, and immediately understand what was coming, where it was coming from, and how fast it was moving.

It was a benign gift. She couldn't imagine how she could lose control and cause harm with it. Her other gift, though...that was something else.

She flexed her toes and sighed loudly again. Nothing but small animals stirred around her. There was no one nearby.

She smiled. Then, though she would stay like this for hours if she could, she quickly left the water for a few moments only to return undressed in order to wash off the grime of the road. She laughed aloud as she imagined going into town covered in the dirt that was now running through the water beneath her. Three weeks was much too long to go without a bath.

* * *

A large house stood a couple of miles to the east of Bella's campsite. The occupants were obviously wealthy and possessed immaculate taste, judging by the home's decor alone. Inside the house, three of its occupants were spread out doing various things. Edward was, as usual, brooding over his piano. Rosalie was sprawled on the living room couch, flipping through French Vogue. Jasper sat hunched over a dozen books in Carlisle's library. And Alice-well, she was flipping through cartwheels on the Cullen home's rooftop. Absent from the gathering, Carlisle, Esme and Emmett were away hunting for the day. A typical day in the Cullen household. Except something was about to happen that no one expected, not even Alice.

Alice heard it first. A small, musical, obviously very human laugh. She tripped in the middle of her cart-wheel and landed on her butt.

Immediately after, Edward heard her thoughts, and through Alice he inhaled his first breath of Bella.

Rosalie looked up at Edward who had suddenly appeared in the living room beside her, shocked at the outward signs he was displaying.

"Edward!?" She exclaimed, more confused than outraged. Before his name escaped her lips however, Jasper was on top of him.

"Rosalie!" He cried out. "Help me! We need to restrain him!"

Rosalie only hesitated for a moment, still shocked at Edward's behavior, but stepped forward with Jasper and pulled Edward back from the huge widow he had just opened. Alice jumped through the open window and shoved back against Edward.

"Absolutely not!" She exclaimed in her high sing-song voice, playful even now in the face of possible catastrophe.

With the window open, Rosalie heard (and smelled) what had gotten Edward so excited. A small voice humming in the distance-of course with their hearing it may as well have been right in the room with them. She heard the voice and smelled her scent at the same time. It was...profoundly delicious. She tried to come up with a better adjective so as not to fuel Edward's blood lust. The girl's scent was divine. As was her voice. All four of them fought down the venom that was dripping in their mouths. But whereas Rosalie, Jasper and Alice could clear their mouths and focus on the situation, Edward continued to be held hostage to his urge to bite the girl that was making him feel like this.

"Alice," said Rosalie through clenched teeth. "Call Emmett and Carlisle. We can't hold him down all day."

Alice had, of course dialed the number and started speaking before Rosalie finished her request. Rosalie rolled her eyes and focused on keeping Edward from inching toward that window, all while trying to not think of that heavenly voice herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Please let me know what you think!


	7. Singer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review, if you've gotta moment. Enjoy!

Bella finished washing up and slowly pulled out some clean clothes. She was deep in thought, frowning to herself for the first time since she arrived at her stream as she mulled over something that did not please her. She looked at her perfect bike out of the corner of her eye and frowned some more.

'Damn it,' she thought. This thing was way too flashy. How could she explain how she paid for it to her father? She might be able to come up with a plausible excuse...but the man was a cop. And it really is pretty darn conspicuous. 'Damn it,' she thought again. 'That was a short honeymoon.'

She felt silly for feeling so strongly about something she's had for less than a month. She has never been one for attachments. The longest she ever stayed in one place was two months. Usually her stops lasted a few weeks at most. And given that she didn't exactly have regular access to a proper washing machine and god help her if she tried to sew anything without hemorrhaging, clothing and the meager possessions she came by weren't things she ever held onto for long either.

She felt her forehead crease as she frowned some more. It made her nervous as she realized that in the last month she'd become mentally attached to living with her father again in a real home. Be careful, she thought to herself. Don't depend on him just yet. He said it himself-he hasn't, he won't forgive you. What exactly will that mean?

She didn't know the answer, but she did know she needed to get rid of that bike, and possibly some of her other shinier possessions if she wanted to avoid suspicion and awkward questions from Charlie. She made her decision right then. Leaving the clothes she had washed laying flat on a rock to dry, she quickly gathered her things and sped away from Forks in the direction she had come.

* * *

"Dude, you were serious?" Emmett exclaimed, his eyes bright from both the hunt and from excitement. Edward out of control...that didn't happen every day.

Edward growled as he heard Emmett's thoughts. But everyone's thoughts were along the same line, though Emmett's were the most colorful as usual.

He and Carlisle wasted no time pulling Edward back further from the window, which Esme rushed to close. They all breathed (figuratively) deeply, grateful to have averted a terrible disaster in the nick of time.

Edward finally lost the crazed look he had worn for the last hour, yet he still paced back and forth growling like a madman.

"It's still there," he hissed. "She's gone but her scent is still there."

"Wait, she left? When?" Asked Emmett.

"Half an hour ago," answered Rosalie. "I think-no I'm sure she was on a bicycle."

"Oh, well that's good," said Carlisle, relief flooding his face. "She's probably a camper then. And not from around here. No one local ever comes here. She's probably already moving on."

Edward's face contorted into a mask of pained torture. Emmett really could not believe this was happening...to Edward of all vampires!

He got a glare from Edward for that, but Emmett just shrugged. It's true, he whined inside his head.

"Emmett," Carlisle started. "Why don't you come with me to investigate her camp spot. You seem the least affected by her scent out of all of us."

Emmett started at that. He glanced at his wife and was about to speak, when he promptly shut himself up. Rosalie's eyes were significantly darker than they were this morning. Not dangerously so, and certainly not the crazed black of his brother's, but enough to startle him. She looked shaken and quite disturbed. Rosalie had never, in their 70 years together had this kind of reaction to a _human_.

She looked at him and nodded, confirming what he could already see. Whoa, he thought. This girl must be really something!

He chuckled quietly at the look Edward shot at him, and followed Carlisle out towards the campsite.

* * *

Bella believed in a lot of crazy things (she only had to look in a mirror for confirmation after all) but luck wasn't one of them. But here she was on her way back to Forks mere minutes after spotting a sporting goods store in the next town. The owner was so enthralled with her bike (he had sold out weeks ago and the next resupply wasn't due for months) that he offered her an unbelievable cash trade...and a cheap but durable old bike to get her home. When she traded down the panniers, the day pack and the other odds and ends she had acquired last month, she left the store with over $2000 tucked into every nook and cranny her shoes and clothing allowed. She had never seen, let alone touched this much cash in her life. She knew, technically speaking, that it wasn't all that much in the grand scheme of things...but she still felt like a millionaire, and couldn't stop herself from smiling all the way back to Forks.

She felt so good she decided to visit a supermarket on the way back to her stream and get something real to eat.

* * *

Carlisle and Emmett made it to the campsite in seconds. They already knew she wasn't there, but her scent was all over it.

"Mmmm, mmmm," said Emmett, unable to keep the laughter from his voice. "Tasty!"

Even miles away, he still heard Edward's growl.

Emmett grinned a big bear grin, and changed his tone somewhat for Rosalie's sake. "Well it certainly is yum-fragrant, but I don't feel the need to rip my hair out."

"No, nor does Esme, or Alice. Even Jasper says he only feels overwhelmed from Edward's reaction," Carlisle analyzed. "I am rather intrigued that Rosalie is affected. To my knowledge, this is a first."

Emmett finally became serious. "Yeah."

Carlisle walked around the site, and Emmett couldn't help but admire his father-in-law. He has got to have the strongest will power of any vampire, he thought.

Carlisle and Emmett saw it at the same time. On a flat rock, lay two object with the strongest of the mystery girl's scent: her clothes so it would seem. Emmett grinned, and both he and Carlisle turned to look to one another.

"I think," Carlisle started, "a small act of theft, just this once, might be called for."

"Yeah!" Emmett cried out. "I wanna see nutty Eddie again!"

Even Carlisle smiled a little at that. But then he turned serious. "Go easy on your brother, Emmett. It appears we're dealing with a singer here. I would hate for anything to happen to this poor girl, and the repercussions on Edward and our family if it does."

"Whoa," Emmett said, eloquently put as always.

"Yes," said Carlisle. "Let's take these with us and see if Edward can try to get accustomed to her scent."

They ran back to the house after nicking the clothes and making it look like an animal had made its way through the campsite. Carlisle glanced at Emmett, and he knew what to do. Emmett moved to block Edward from reaching any of the exits, while Jasper fought to calm Edward down. Carlisle threw the garments at Edward and stood by Alice, ready to intercept if necessary or should Alice foresee it.

"Where are Esme and Rosalie?" He asked her. He felt concern for Rosalie and wished to speak to her.

"The grocery store. Esme was restless, and neither of them could stand being in the same room as Edward...Rosalie especially. So she went with her," Alice answered.

"Very well," said Carlisle. We'll speak when they return, he thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hope you enjoyed! Please review :)


	8. Contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review, if you've gotta moment. Enjoy!

Rosalie couldn't understand how things could become so mucked up in just a couple of hours. She was a vampire for god's sake. Unless it had something to do with your mate, vampires rarely felt so...confused by the mundane events that sent humans into frenzies. Rosalie couldn't name all of her emotions-another first-but there was one she did recognize...righteous anger. Who the fuck was this girl who dared do this to her and Edward? None of them have seen her face, yet she's already introduced chaos into their family. Rosalie growled to herself. She hadn't felt such anger in a long time, and one glance from Esme had both worried about Rosalie's control at that very moment.

"Maybe you should stay in the car," Esme said, staring pointedly at her.

She sighed but it came out more like a hiss. She sighed again, this time deliberately slow. "No," she said firmly. "I need the distraction. I'll be fine."

"Rose..." Esme looked uncertain.

This time Rosalie softened her facial features, trying her best to calm herself down. "I'm Ok. Really."

Esme nodded. "If you feel like you can't handle it, RUN back to the car."

Rosalie nodded back, aware that if she ran anywhere within sight of a human, they'd have a lot more things to discuss at home than one stupid girl.

They walked into the store. Esme had done this thousands of times, and knew the routine well. She picked up a cart and started the counter-clockwise dance around the foul-smelling place.

"Ugh," Rosalie crinkled her nose as she whispered for only Esme to hear. "How do you stand it?"

Esme chuckled, though she too had a crinkle all over her usually flawless face that suggested disgust. "You get used to it after a few thousand times."

"Ugh," Rosalie said again. "I'm going to go to the deli. I can stomach that a little better than this," she pointed to the rows of vegetables.

Esme frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Please!" Rosalie whispered, almost indignantly. "These humans smell nearly as foul as their produce."

Esme allowed herself a small grin. "All right, but please sweetheart be careful."

Rosalie smiled a real smile for the first time that evening. "I will. You too," she added unnecessarily. Esme wasn't as good as Carlisle when it came to resisting the temptations, but because she was so determined and tried so damn hard, she was much less likely than any of them to make a mistake. She put herself through the torture of places like this on a daily basis because her heart couldn't stand the thought of hurting others, even humans.

As she walked to the back of the store, Rosalie found herself thanking whatever vampires were supposed to pray to for belonging to such a wonderful coven, no, family. She wouldn't wish it on anyone, but given no other choice she knew that Esme and Carlisle were the best possible "parents" anyone could ask for.

Her spirits slightly raised, she wandered at a frustrating human speed towards the deli...when everything suddenly came crashing down.

She had rounded the corner when she caught the scent, and so when she stopped dead in her tracks she had a perfect view, at last, of their mystery girl.

She was of average height, shorter than Rosalie but much taller than Alice. Of course, almost everyone was taller than Alice. She was skinny, almost too skinny but not quite. Her arms and legs she could see, even through her plain, worn jeans and long-sleeved shirt, had a healthy definition and tone (for a human) to them. Her shoes looked like something to wear in the outdoors, and they were obviously well-worn. Rosalie held her breath the second she sensed her, but she decided to chance a whiff-wow! If Edward were here he'd kill half the people in the store in his blood lust. It was...heavenly, but she sighed in relief when she found herself able to regain control. I'm stronger than Edward, she smirked. She was just about to congratulate herself when the girl turned to look in another direction and Rosalie saw her face. Shit, she thought.

Rosalie felt herself getting torn to pieces in 10 different directions. She hated this girl for her beauty. She envied her. She pitied her. She admired her. She was undoubtedly curious as hell, but also angry as hell. She wanted to step closer and caress her cheek. She wanted to pounce and end her once and for all.

If you kill her, Rosalie thought to herself, Esme will kill you...and Edward too cause he'll be mad he didn't get her first. Oh shit!

Still, for all the racing thoughts going through her mind, she stood still as she watched the girl frown at the prepared dinners in front of her. Why did she look so confused? Shouldn't humans be familiar with these disgusting things?

Rosalie realized she'd been standing still as a statue for a solid minute and that might attract unsolicited attention, so she edged toward the lunch meats in front of her while still keeping the girl in her line of sight.

She was slowly walking the length of the glass buffet table, muttering the names of the dishes to herself. Her voice...there was no doubt that it was her. How can one person, one human be blessed with so many enchanting qualities at the same time? How is it that she was making her feel all of...this? How?!

Rosalie was lost, staring at her, all the while wondering what her deal with this food was. Was it really that difficult to choose? No...she looks confused. She looks almost as lost as Rosalie was over here.

Rosalie released the air she held in her lungs and slowly sucked in another mouthful of the girl's scent. Definitely human. Aside from...its potency, the girl was 100% human. She shook her head. Why then, did she look like she felt as out of place in this store as Rosalie did?

Oh, finally. Decision made. Yipee. Rosalie rolled her eyes, and though it took more willpower than she liked to admit, turned on her heels and left the store. She would take Esme's advice and wait in the car after all.

* * *

Breathe, Bella. Just breath, she told herself. Over and over in her head. This was not a good idea.

The store was packed, much more so than she would have thought considering the town's small population. Everyone goes shopping at the same time so it would seem. She hadn't been around this many people at once in a long time. Breathe, count backwards from 10. From 100.

If the crowd wasn't bad enough, she felt like an utter fool looking at all the choices before her. Now that she had more than a few dollars to spend, and since she'd adamantly decided to treat herself just this once tonight, she looked forward to getting a prepared hot meal...something she never had before, at least in part 2 of her life.

What on earth was a paneer? Or a quiche? Or a ziti? She was furious at herself for not knowing. She should have read something before...Or at least paid some attention in the other stores she'd been in. She had seven long years to prepare for this, and now here she was about to rejoin the human race and still behaving, looking, and now eating like an outsider.

She stopped the coil of emotion before it started its long wind around her heart and chose the quiche. The label said it was made of egg, and she knew she liked egg.

She walked slowly over to the sitting area, eager to finish this thing while it was hot and then get the hell out of there when she bumped into something hard that turned out to be a person.

"Oh man, I'm sorry! That was totally my fault. I need a license to walk!" Bella apologized to the person she hit, cringing a bit at the joke her mother used to make.

"That's quite all right dear," a voice called so softly and gently Bella had to look up from her perpetual downward glare.

'Wow,' Bella thought. She's beautiful. She had a small, pale, heart-shaped face that immediately reminded Bella of her mother. Her eyes were something else-the strangest color Bella had ever seen, a honey-golden hue unlike anything she'd encountered. But what drew Bella to her eyes wasn't the color, strange though it was. Bella could see a kindness and compassion in them that she hadn't seen in years. She knew it was partly her own fault for choosing not to interact with others on anything more than the most base level. Wherever the blame lay, it had been years since Bella had felt...anything...for someone else.

"Is...something wrong?" The woman asked.

Bella realized she probably looked like a moron, staring at the poor woman like that. Or a complete creep. She could see the woman was starting to look uncomfortable. God, no! Please God, let me make this connection, she silently screamed.

"No! I'm-I'm sorry. Really. It's just..you look-you look a lot like my mother," Bella cringed as she said it. Great, she thought, let's freak out the nice lady. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to stare. I was just...shocked that's all."

The woman stared back at her, and immediately Bella felt like she did something right for a change, because the woman's eyes seemed to glisten for a moment, and one of her hands reached out to touch her heart.  
"Oh my," she said. "Well then I completely understand. Your mother...?"

"She's gone," Bella answered her unspoken question quickly. "She died when I was little."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Bella shook her head, trying but she knew she failed completely at looking like she was over it. She decided to steer the subject away from what could only make things worse.

"I'm Bella," she said, remembering at the last second not to reveal her last name. Shit, she thought, she really shouldn't be out here before talking to her dad.

"Esme," she smiled as she introduced herself. Bella stuck out her hand, and though the hesitation was very, very brief she still saw it. It's probably nothing, she thought. Strangers introducing themselves to you at the supermarket? Hell I'd be suspicious too.

"It's very nice to meet you," Bella said, and she meant it. She hoped that she was able to communicate that to her. Even if she was nothing to this woman, Bella wanted Esme to know how much these few minutes meant to her. It was the longest conversation she'd had in years.

Bella smiled again, a soft smile that, unknowingly to her, was able to warm Esme from the inside out. She let go of her cool hand, nodded and smiled once more, and walked away to eat her first ever quiche.

* * *

She wolfed down her quiche (yum! she thought) then decided she'd had enough of homo sapiens for one night. She longed to return to her stream. Making sure her purchases were secure in her backpack, she headed out.

* * *

She smelled them before she saw them. Cigarettes, beer, something else that screamed foul. They were scrawny though, and she could see baby fat on some of their faces. School age dicks. Great.

Bella's discomfort notwithstanding, she knew she had to do something when she saw them. They were crowded around a tall girl with flowing golden hair as she leaned next to a ridiculously good-looking car. The girl looked bored, but Bella could see a tiny hint of irritation in the crease of her brow, so she knew she was uncomfortable. One of the boys said something the others laughed loudly at, and the girl rolled her eyes.

Her eyes were just like Esme's.

Bella felt her insides shake, surprising and shocking herself in an instant. Oh no, No! She couldn't lose control like that, but she needed to get those monsters away from that girl, who was clearly a member of Esme's family. She wouldn't let them hurt her.

"Hey boys!" Bella spoke with a clarity that surprised herself. She didn't notice the girl stiffen suddenly as she looked towards Bella with a slow mounting horror. "You know how a drunk guy goes to the bathroom?"

Silence. Then laughter. "Come with us babe and we'll show you!"

Bella's faced betrayed nothing. "He holds his right thumb in his left hand, and pisses in his pants."

The blonde stared at her. The guys did too.

"You know why god created men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn."

Bella didn't give them time to react. She just kept them coming and hoped the girl would get the hint and get the hell out of there.

"What's the difference between men and government bonds? Bonds mature."

"How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough."

"What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging."

"What do men and beer bottles have in common? They're both empty from the neck up."

"How is a man like a snowstorm? Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get, and how long it'll stay."

The girl still hadn't moved. Bella realized then that she wasn't going to-just like the pervs here, she was speechless and hadn't moved an inch.

Bella paused then, and that brought the boys out of their states of shock.

"Bitch has a death wish, Will," one of them slurred. "Let's grant it."

Oops.

The girl finally moved. And _moved!_

Before Bella could blink, the girl had somehow made her way in front of her. Bella couldn't see her face, but from the looks on the guys' faces...and then Bella heard a low growl...and just as quickly as this whole thing started, the guys stumbled over themselves as they ran to their car and sped away from the parking light.

Neither of them moved for a moment. Then Bella decided to break the ice.

"Well if I'd known you could do that I totally would've let you handle them!" She said with a smile in her voice...anything to break through this tension.

The blonde turned around, and it was all Bella could do not to gasp out loud.

Bella struggled to keep her stare casual, not ogling. She figured she probably got that every waking minute of her life and didn't need some strange girl doing it too.

She thought her willpower to contain her destructive gift was difficult. It was nothing compared to this.

Bella didn't really pay attention to her clothes or superficial things like hair, though she noted that hers looked like a waterfall of gold, and probably felt like it too. It was the way she carried herself and the way she rested her gaze on Bella that nearly drew her to her knees. If looks could kill...

Don't ogle. Don't ogle. Don't open your mouth! Meet her fucking killer gaze with your own. Don't move!

Those eyes...

They were the same color as Esme's, yes, but where Esme had nothing but kindness in hers, this one had a fiery, angry, violent passion. Bella had the feeling that she would look the same whether she was snapping a person's neck or making love to them.

Finally, the girl flickered. Bella let out a small breath, then realized she was looking past her towards...Esme, thank god!

Esme's face was blank as she approached them, but Bella sensed a deep caution and decided she'd had enough excitement for one night.

"Well...I better start heading back. It's getting dark." Bella said, trying to lift the unease from her voice. She looked at Esme, and found it easier to convey her warm feelings. "Esme, it was very nice to meet you." She turned to the girl for a moment, then nodded slightly and smiled. "Goodnight."

She turned and started walking to her bike.

"I'm Rosalie," a soft voice spoke behind her.

This time, the big gulp of air that Bella took in was as noticeable as the rolling clouds above them.

Bella stopped and slowly turned around, giving the girl, Rosalie, a gentle but long look.

"Bella," she said in a voice just as soft.

Rosalie continued to stare, and Bella wondered if it was her imagination that she looked like she was in pain, or maybe she was about to do something distasteful-

"Thank you," she said, very slowly. Esme's face for the first time that night showed the disbelief she had felt since meeting the young girl.

Bella smiled, a true smile that reached her eyes. "And you," she said as she nodded slightly.

She turned around once again, got onto her bike and quickly sped away.

Rosalie and Esme stood unmoving by their car.

Esme was the first to speak. "What...what was that all about?" She asked in wonder.

Rosalie continued to look to the horizon, where Bella and her bike disappeared long ago.

"That," she paused not really wanting to bring up Edward's name, "that was her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Jokes aren't mine. I got them off of a website I can't recall the name of now. Oh, and I have nothing against men :)


	9. Emmett

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review, if you've gotta moment. Enjoy!

Esme and Rosalie sat in silence as they zoomed towards their home. Esme opened her mouth to speak, then shut it...over and over again. She tried to sort through her emotions, but Rosalie's obvious...discomfort shall we say, kept distracting her. Rosalie hadn't said a word since they got into the car. But one glance was all she needed to know her "daughter's" mind was a whirlwind of thoughts.

She glanced at her again, and once again looked back to the road.

They were nearly at the half-hidden dirt path to their house when they passed someone riding on a bicycle.

Rosalie clutched at her seat. "It's her."

Esme sighed. "She must be going back to that campsite," she said. "We're going to have to do something about Edward."

Rosalie growled softly, but not softly enough for Esme to miss it. She chose not to comment though.

As the car crawled to a stop by the house, Rosalie called out "I'm going hunting" before disappearing towards the east.

Esme didn't say anything. The entire family would have to go hunting soon if Bella stayed so close. As she stepped out of the car, her practiced mind immediately started reciting all the woods, fabrics, paint colors and stonework she could think of. She needed to speak to Carlisle before Edward heard her thoughts about his singer.

"Emmett!" she called for her big bear of a son. "We're going to need you to stay by Edward tonight."

Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Edward had made their way down to her by then.

"Why?" Edward asked suspiciously. Esme answered him in her mind.

"Oh, god," Edward whimpered.

"She's going back to her campsite," Alice answered for Esme at Emmett's and Jasper's questioning looks.

Jasper looked at his brother. "I'm not sure restraining him physically will do much good," he said, "not if this girl is here for more than a few hours."

"Bella," Esme said before thinking. Damn, she thought. They all looked at her then, Edward with the most intensity.

"What?" He cried out. "How do you know? Stop blocking me, damn it!"

She would normally reprimand him for his language at this point, but instead she sighed and decided to tell them an edited version of their meeting tonight.

"She was at the supermarket," she sighed. "I ran into her by accident and we introduced ourselves. Rosalie recognized her scent."

Spruce, maple, cherry...her mind went on.

"Bella..." Edward whispered. Then he narrowed his eyes. "There's more, though."

"I'd like to speak to Carlisle before we discuss things. Where is he?"

"He was called to the hospital," Alice said.

"Uh, where's Rosalie?" Emmett asked.

"Hunting," Esme said, giving him a look. "I think she needs to be alone for a little while. Emmett, Jasper, please stay with your brother tonight. I'm going to the hospital to speak with Carlisle."

With that she ran back to the car, taking with her some "dinner" for her husband so she'd have a plausible excuse for the nurses.

* * *

Bella listened to the sounds of the dawn for a long time before she stirred from her sleeping bag. Her normal schedule before meant she was usually just falling asleep when the sun came up. During her 3-week trip she had particularly enjoyed waking up with sun. The wind shared the sounds of waking animals, rustling leaves, paws on the ground, and of course thousands of birds. It was rather noisy in this forest but she asked the wind to tone it down a few notches and as always, it granted her request.

Bella stretched in her sleeping bag and got ready for her wake-up routines. She changed her pants and shirt (she was grateful she hadn't sold her extra clothes as it seemed a wild animal had nicked some of hers yesterday), then rummaged through her bag and pulled out a couple of granola bars and her last peach. After washing the peach she proceeded to eat her breakfast as she thought about the conversation with her father the night before. She had found a payphone in town after her encounter with Esme and Rosalie, and decided to get the details of her arrival ironed out. She'd already spoken to people in town and she needed to be sure to have the correct back story for when people asked. The more she thought about it the more what Charlie told her actually made sense. He explained to her what he'd been telling people all these years. Bella Swan had apparently been staying with her aunt. Her mother did indeed have a sister, Carol, who had always lived on the East coast. But Carol was also deceased. Her mother rarely talked about it...Carol died at a young age long before her parents even met. Nobody in Forks knew this of course, and there were no other family members who would ever ask for Bella's whereabouts. She and her father really only had each other.

She was deep in thought when she was suddenly aware of something heading towards her.

Bella listened carefully. Something wasn't quite right. She knew the sounds of other people like the back of her hand. This one was moving much too fast. There was barely enough time for the wind to relay what was happening. What was going on?

It stopped a few hundred feet away from her. She continued to chew on her granola bar as she listened. It was...someone big. Huge. And he or she was walking at a normal pace now, still pretty fast because their natural stride was very large. Whoever they were, they then started whistling...twinkle, twinkle little star. Okay. If she didn't know any better, she'd say this person was trying to put her at ease. Not knowing what to do with that line of thinking, she decided to wait and see. She wasn't afraid-Bella doubted there was anyone alive who could pose any kind of threat to her. It would have to be a pretty extraordinary situation where she'd willingly use her gifts in self-defense and in the 7 years she was on her own she's never found herself in a situation where her own wits, speed, and the occasional round-house kick weren't enough protection.

_"...tinkle, tinkle in the car_   
_mommy drove me way too far_   
_with my cup of apple juice_   
_I just had to let it loose_   
_tinkle, tinkle in the car_   
_mommy drove me way too far..."_

Bella grinned at the stranger's very strange lyrics as he appeared in her clearing at last. Big, indeed. He towered over her and was built too. His short crop of black hair was curly and a little unruly. He would have been intimidating to most people, especially when alone and in the woods but Bella wasn't most people. It helped, too, that he wore a big friendly smile.

"Who taught you those lyrics? You should get your money back," Bella said with a smile.

"Ha! I made it up all by myself!" He said smugly. "Bet you can't do better!"

Bella raised one eyebrow.

_"...tinkle, tinkle little man_   
_there you sit right on the can_   
_when you're old you should stand up_   
_unless of course you have to pup_   
_tinkle, tinkle little man_   
_there you sit right on the can..."_

His mouth was open. "Awesome! Rosalie was right-you do have quite the potty mouth!"

That caught her by surprise. But then she noticed his eyes, and they were indeed the same honey gold Esme and Rosalie shared.

"Oh, you're..." She didn't want to make assumptions.

"Emmett Cullen. Rosalie's my girlfriend," he introduced himself, watching her carefully for a reaction.

There was none. Bella had plenty of practice keeping her emotions in check.

"Bella," she said with a smile. "Though you probably already knew that."

Emmett grinned. "So what brings a nice girl like you to a wild forest like this? Not scared of the big bad bears?"

"Please. Bears are scared of the big bad Bella," she retorted. There was something about Emmett that made it very easy for her to relax. Bella found herself in unusually high spirits. "What brings you here?"

Emmett studied her for a moment, aware that she had skillfully sidestepped his question, and shrugged.

"It's not as deserted as you may think," he said, pointing in the direction he had come from. "Our house isn't far. Rosalie said she noticed you biking in this direction last night as they were coming home. Seeing as you've met Esme too, I decided it was my turn!"

Bella's face didn't betray her confusion, but in her mind she pondered what Emmett had told her. It didn't make any sense. If Rosalie had seen her come this way, she probably only saw it out on the main road. Bella could have gone in any direction from that point. She feigned understanding and decided to just go with it. She liked Esme, and when Rosalie didn't look like she wanted to kill her, she liked her too.

"Well," she started. "It's very nice to meet you Emmett."

"Ditto," he said with a smile. "...Bella Bear."

Bella sighed. "I walked into that one, didn't I?"

"Yup!" He said with a smug grin. "So what brings you to Forks, Bella Bear?"

Thank god for small favors, she thought, grateful now for last night's impromptu conversation with her father.

"I'm going to be staying with my father. He lives here," she said.

"In the forest?" He asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Witty," she said sarcastically. "No, not in the forest. He's not expecting me for a few more days, that's all. These woods are awesome so I'm just exploring them until then."

"Hmm," he said. "So you'll be going to school with us then? What grade are you in?"

"Er-," Bella stumbled. "10th," she said quickly, hoping he didn't notice her hesitation.

If he did, he didn't linger over it. He was quiet for a few moments, then suddenly brightened. "Hey you want to come have breakfast at our house?" He asked, grinning.

"What?" That caught Bella off guard. "No, no. I'm fine, really. You don't have to-"

He laughed a big laugh. "Bella Bear, I'm here on a mission. Esme made a really big breakfast and there's a ton left over. She sent me here specifically for this purpose." He leaned over her and with a wicked grin he whispered, "she gave me explicit permission to carry you back if I had to!"

Bella gave him a funny look. How on earth had this happened? She was incredibly touched that Esme was had thought of her. But going to their house? She worried what could happen. She'd spend only a few minutes with her but already Bella was beginning to feel a familial compassion for Esme. She hasn't had a mother in so long...and everything about Esme screamed motherly love, or at least it did for Bella. Even now, just thinking about Esme's having made breakfast for her...she could feel her emotions welling up and that meant other side-effects were starting to well up to. She screamed at herself and the monster calmed. She should say no.

"Ok," she said quietly.

"Awesome!" He exclaimed. "Can I carry you?"

"I'm sure you can," She laughed. "But you may not."

"Aww."

Under his gaze, Bella packed her things into her backpack, grabbed her bike and together they started walking towards the Cullens' house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Thanks for reading! Please review!


	10. Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review. Please? With a cherry on top?

"They're one minute away!" Alice practically shrieked.

Rosalie glared at her sister and rolled her eyes. Esme finished up the details in the kitchen. If anyone looked inside they'd see the typical remnants of a family's breakfast: dirty dishes, half-eaten food, utensils strewn about. Esme was pretty proud of her handiwork. She was a teeny bit worried about the food though-she'd never cooked for anyone before. She didn't think she could accidentally poison Bella with her pancakes...could she?

Jasper stood by the window observing his family members. Alice was so excited...he had to smile despite his trepidation. Even if he wasn't an empath he'd be able to feel the anticipation in the room. They were about to welcome the first human into their home. Even Carlisle was a little excited.

"30 seconds!" Alice squealed.

Jasper just shook his head. He had to admit, he was very curious about Bella. Edward's reactions were worse than any he'd ever seen in his long life. Edward was a 100 years old, yet any mention of Bella or worse, a whiff of her scent and he acted like a newborn.

The family had a long discussion the night before. Edward tried to make the case for leaving, but he was stunned-and truth be told, Jasper was as well-when that notion was met by an almost violent denial from Esme. Jasper wished he could read minds too, because nothing explained how a few minutes with the girl brought out the emotions that were reeling from both Esme and Rosalie. Their emotions were still unstable...bonds, as he knew better than anyone, took time to build...but their attachment to Bella was painfully clear. Also clear was their protectiveness of the girl. It was especially jarring to feel these emotions from Rosalie, who had sat unmoving and silent through the entire meeting.

Not knowing how long Bella would be in the neighborhood, Edward decided to go to Denali. Jasper and Emmett had escorted him until they were far enough away from Bella's scent that Edward could continue on his own. Both he and Emmett hunted then, before Emmett went to find his wife.

He didn't know what the two of them discussed, though of course it wasn't difficult to guess at the topic. This morning when they heard Bella stir, Emmett ran in her direction before anyone could stop him. They stood frozen as they listened to their exchange. When Esme heard that Bella was alone and would be so for days, she shouted at Emmett to invite her for breakfast.

"Darling, are you cert-," Carlisle had started, but Esme was already preparing in the kitchen.

"It's not a bad idea," Alice said. "She's going to be in school with us. We'll all need to get used to her scent. And we're going to have to protect her from Edward."

"Or we could just move and be done with it," Rosalie grumbled through gritted teeth.

Jasper shook his head. Rosalie was, to put it mildly, driving him crazy. He had never experienced so many strong conflicting emotions all at once from one person.

"They're here!" Alice leaped down the stairs and skipped to the door.

Jasper smiled again at his wife. Then he looked at Carlisle. "Stay by my side?" He asked his adopted father.

Carlisle nodded.

Here we go, he thought.

* * *

Bella failed miserably at keeping her excitement down when she saw the house. It was gorgeous. Huge and obviously made of money, it was still tasteful and understated...a strange contrast to the outrageous cars she spotted in the open garage.

She tried not to dwell on this visit, tried not to attach too much significance to it but it was difficult. This would be her first time in someone else's home. Not just the first time since the incident, but the first time ever. She had never been invited to a friend's house. She'd never had any friends.

Emmet's not your friend, she quietly reminded herself. None of them are. You're a stranger. You're despicable and dangerous. Don't forget that. Don't let your guard down. You can't afford to make any mistakes now. This is the one and only chance you're gonna get with Charlie.

They parked her bike in the garage and with a deep breath from Bella, walked inside the front door.

* * *

Something small and very fast attacked her. Bella had just enough time to raise her eyebrows in surprise when she found herself in a tight embrace with the-person, she could now see.

"Hi, Bella! I'm Alice."

Aside from the eyes, Alice looked nothing like what she'd seen of the family. She was incredibly short. Her hair was also short and sticking up in every direction. She exuded energy that made it seem like she was more of a child, but no...no one would think she was a child judging by the clothing she wore. Bella knew next to nothing about fashion, but she could easily picture this girl on a runway.

"Hi. It's nice to meet you," Bella said.

"Hello again, sweetheart!" Esme said from the top of the stairs. "Come on up, there's plenty of food left!"

Bella couldn't help but smile up at her. "Thank you, Esme. You're very generous."

Esme beamed at her, and Bella followed Alice up the stairs with Emmett tailing behind her.

They stepped into the kitchen and Bella admired the detailing on cupboards and windows. Esme noticed her gaze and smiled again. "You like my handiwork?" She asked.

Bella's eyes widened. "You did this yourself?" She asked excitedly.

Esme's grin got even bigger. "Yes. Are you interested in interior design?"

Bella nodded hesitatingly. "Yes. And architecture. I'd love to build my own house one day." She knew she shouldn't reveal so much of herself, but she just couldn't help herself with Esme. Bella thought she could talk to her for hours.

"Well now you're officially my wife's favorite person." A man in a tweed jacket stepped towards them. He was obviously older than the kids but not by much, Bella was sure. His golden hair was cut short, though not as short as Emmett's. He too had honey gold in his eyes. He continued until he was right in front of her and held out his hand.

"I'm Carlisle Cullen," he said gently. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella."

"Likewise," Bella smiled, immediately comfortable in his presence.

"I believe you've already met Rosalie," he said, pointing at her direction where she was sitting at the couch. Rosalie nodded the slightest of nods, and pointedly went back to her magazine.

Bella smiled shyly then quickly looked away.

Carlisle continued. "And this is Jasper," he said pointing to the young man who hadn't moved from his spot by the window.

"Hello, Bella," he greeted her cordially. He smiled and waved. She returned the gesture with her own smile.

"Ok enough with the show and tell! Bella Bear's hungry," Emmett said, grinning and pointing to her stomach which, embarrassingly enough started to rumble.

Bella blushed as they all laughed-well, almost all. Rosalie remained still as a statue in her spot.

"It smells delicious," Bella said quietly. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed. They were so kind. And they really seemed to like her, though she couldn't understand why. She thought her heart might burst as she let Esme lead her to the kitchen table. She closed her eyes and counted a few breaths as Esme piled some pancakes onto her plate. She took a moment smelling it, touching it with her fork and with a finger, reacquainting herself with one of her mother's favorite breakfast meals. The pain flared up at the thought of her mom, but she quickly stamped it out.

"Thank you," she said again, looking up at Esme who was smiling brightly at her.

"You're welcome, my dear," she said.

Bella ate slowly at first, savoring her first taste of pancakes since her mother died. But she sped up when she realized the family was watching her with something akin to wonder and curiosity. She finished as fast as she could, trying not to be rude.

"It was delicious, Esme. Thank you."

"I'm so glad you liked it!" Esme exclaimed. "Would you like some more?"

"Oh, no. Thank you, I'm quite full," Bella said quickly, not wanting to encroach on the kind woman's hospitality anymore. "That was way more than I'm used to eating at one time. I'll burst if I have anymore," she said jokingly, but knew she had made a mistake when she saw Esme's and Carlisle' frowns. Uh-oh.

None of them said anything more on that subject, thank god.

"Bella's gonna be moving here," Emmett said brightly. "She's in the same grade as you, Alice!"

"Oh! How wonderful! Where are you moving from, Bella?" Alice asked.

Here we go, Bella thought. Be careful.

"Pennsylvania," she answered. "I lived with my aunt, but she passed away this summer. My dad lives here in Forks, so I'll be moving in with him."

"Who's your father, Bella?" Carlisle asked. "If you don't my asking."

"Not at all," Bella replied. "His name is Charlie Swan."

"The chief of police?" Carlisle asked, startled. "I didn't know he had a child."

Bella blushed, looking down. "We're not close," she said.

Carlisle got the hint and asked no more. But Emmett was frowning.

"Wait a sec," he started. "How did you get here?"

"To Forks?" Bella shrugged. "Biked."

The family stared at her. Even Rosalie looked up from her magazine.

"You _biked_?" Alice asked, incredulously. "From _Pennsylvania_? _Alone_?"

"Er, yes." Was it that strange? Bella wondered to herself. She'd biked and walked 100 times the distance they were so astonished at. "It wasn't hard, really. It was fun, sort of."

"Bella Bear's a bad ass," Emmett grinned.

"Really, Emmett!" Esme scolded. "Come on sweetheart, I want to show you the rest of the house. I have a feeling you'll appreciate all my hard work."

Bella smiled and nodded eagerly, thankful to move on from the topic of Bella. And she really was interested in seeing this house.

She helped Esme clear the table and let her hold her hand as they walked out of the kitchen.


	11. Shattered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review, if you've gotta moment. Enjoy!

Bella's heart pounded in her chest. Her eyes screwed shut and her hands clenched into fists. Alone with her thoughts, she screamed silently for mercy. But she knew as she cried out, that she didn't want, didn't deserve any such clemency.

She fell hard on her knees and wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she fought to maintain control. The pain she felt coursing through her body did not lessen, nor did it reach its breaking point-the point where the monster would be released and she would finally get her reprieve. Good, she thought bitterly. A fitting sentence.

She cursed herself for letting down her guard. The last week had been like a dream. For the first time in years she allowed herself to forget the past, forget why she was here.

It had taken just ten minutes with her father for everything she'd built last week to come crumbling down. She was such a fool. What she had built...it was a house of cards. A house of cards that Charlie had been able to knock down with one look.

* * *

It really was a wonderful week, the best she'd ever had. It was spring break, and no matter how much Bella insisted that she was, in fact, perfectly able to fend for herself, Esme held her ground and mothered over her like she was one of her own. Bella smiled briefly at those memories.

She had to hand it to the older woman...she could cook like a pro. Bella really didn't understand her enthusiasm...has she not been cooking for her 5 kids all their lives? With every visit, Esme would sit her down in front of a feast. She tried her best to please the woman. God knows she wanted to make her happy. But Bella literally couldn't fit a quarter of whatever Esme gave her into her stomach. She had seven years of habits to break, and she was definitely not in the habit of satisfying her hunger. At each meal, Bella managed to stuff herself a little bit more for Esme's sake, silently praying to herself that none of it would come back up later.

The rest of the time, she spent with Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie doing a myriad of activities. Emmett noticed her examining one of his video games, and immediately asked if she knew how to play. Bella shyly said she'd never had the opportunity, and that dictated the rest of the day as Emmett insisted she try out every console and game he had. She had to admit that it was pretty fun. Here was a great example of the benefits of her photographic memory and quick mental faculties. In no time at all after she had read the complete manual for one of the most complicated (according to Emmett anyway) games in existence, she was holding herself up pretty well against him...though still getting clobbered of course. It didn't matter though-Emmett was ecstatic to have found a willing partner (who, unbeknownst to Bella, couldn't read minds, couldn't see the future, didn't hold back, and could still make him work super hard to win). She smiled as she remembered his face when she beat him for the first time. His happiness at her improvement and skills made it hard for him to feign disappointment at losing, and his face kept going back and forth between the two extremes causing everyone in the room to laugh.

Alice was an odd one. The girl's enthusiasm for her was incredibly confusing for Bella. She couldn't understand how one day the two of them were perfect strangers and the next, Alice clamored for Bella's attention like they were best pals. Bella knew better than to question it though-as she slowly got over the shock of someone actually treating her like a best friend, she quickly welcomed it, enjoying for the first time in her life the knowledge that someone in the world really did like her enough to want to spend time with her. After a few days, Bella found herself returning much of Alice's affections...even after Alice nearly had a panic attack when she found out the clothes in Bella's backpack were literally all that she had.

She winced as her memories played back that day. Her off-handed explanations did little to get Alice to back off. Bella honestly did not care that she had just 3 shirts and 2 pairs of jeans. She kept them clean and they were comfortable. What's wrong with that?

According to Alice, _that_ was a terrible crime. She had then proceeded to force Bella to try on no less than a few dozen outfits from her room-sized closet. Bella had to draw the line somewhere though, and absolutely refused to keep anything of what was offered her. It helped that she was living out of a backpack at the moment. It also helped that Jasper chose that moment to rescue Bella, appearing before Alice's bedroom door holding two copies of a recently published Lincoln biography. Beyond grateful, Bella laughed happily at the chance to read a new book (and secretly, at the comically crestfallen look on Alice's face) and followed Jasper to the living room where Emmett and Rosalie were already squared off with Halo.

Jasper's strong interest in history was a pleasant surprise, and it was refreshing for Bella to actually be able to discuss what she'd read with someone who could talk back. Bella was careful to hide the true extent of her knowledge. She had read thousands upon thousands of books on many subjects, including American history which was one of her favorites. She figured if she started reciting lines though, it might pose a few problems. It was hard to feign ignorance when Jasper mentioned one thing or another but Bella had to remind herself to do it once in a while in the hopes he wouldn't notice how unnatural her recall was. Times like this reminded her of how much deception would be necessary when she started school next week. She didn't like how difficult it was to conscientiously slow her reading down to the crawl she assumed was typical. She kept forgetting that it wasn't at all normal to finish a page in 20 seconds, and was grateful that Jasper didn't seem to notice. She sighed as she forced herself to stop reading for a while to let Jasper catch up. She'd have to work on this, she thought.

She sensed that she was being watched and looked up, only to see Rosalie quickly looking back at the screen.

Bella sighed, as her thoughts turned to the most mysterious of the Cullens' household. Not for the first time this week, she wished she could read minds so she could make some sense of the girl. Rosalie hardly spoke a single sentence to her all week. Bella thought her instincts must be wrong then, because at the supermarket it seemed like they may have made a good start. She shook her head. It didn't matter-whenever Bella thought she had Rosalie figured out, the blonde would do something that left her re-calculating in confusion. One thing she had noticed...Rosalie was always there. Usually she'd be lingering somewhere in the background, whether playing with Emmett while she and Jasper read, or reading a magazine on Alice's bed while Alice forced her to play dress-up, or playing chess with Jasper while she and Esme discussed the virtues of Greek columns...wherever Bella was, Rosalie was always near.

She didn't particularly care, only Bella didn't know what to do with the looks she kept giving her. Bella would constantly feel the hair on the back of her neck stand up and she'd turn, only to find the blonde glaring daggers at her. When their eyes met, Rosalie would just go back to whatever it was she was supposed to be doing...no explanation and never a word.

It was a long week though and they did manage a few interactions. One time they were all playing Halo and taking turns, when all of a sudden Bella found herself playing Rosalie for the first time. Bella shyly took the controls and proceeded, only to get her head chopped off 10 seconds later. She had only played this game a couple of times, but Rosalie didn't seem to understand the concept of mercy. For 5 agonizing minutes, Rosalie tore into Bella's flesh using the most graphically violent means available until the game ended and it was someone else's turn to play.

"Were you a ninja in a past life?" Bella asked, wanting the awkward moment to pass.

Jasper and Alice chuckled quietly, but Rosalie shot her another death glare and moved to sit by Emmett.

She watched the two of them. Rosalie and Emmett were together, as were Alice and Jasper. She observed them often. It didn't bother her that these couples all lived under the same roof-they had explained their adoptions to her the first day and really, who cared about stuff like that? No, she found herself watching the couples in quiet contemplation. They were all so...close. Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper...Bella got the sense that they could read each others' thoughts. They were so attuned to each other. Bella knew as much about relationships as she did about fashion, but she did have instincts...and those instincts were telling her that the relationships between her new friends ran deeper than she could possibly understand.

She felt like she had gained so much. In seven days she had felt more joy than she had in seven years. She had so foolishly forgotten...forgotten that when Charlie saw her again at last, he wouldn't be seeing the bright girl who had befriended a group of kids and their parents. He would see, and would forever see a dangerous, ruthless monster. He would only ever see the girl who killed his beloved wife...the girl who killed her own mother.

* * *

Only when the weekend crept up on her did Bella fully grasp how much she had begun to care for the Cullens. She had broken almost all her rules...and for once she was glad. Now that she had people in her life to care for, people who for reasons still mystifying to Bella actually cared for her, Bella for the first time understood how drastic the measures she had taken to punish herself had been. Now that she'd had a taste of warmth and love and friendship...could she ever go back to the darkness that was her existence? Had she not tortured herself enough?

These were Bella's thoughts as she pedaled away from the Cullens' home towards her father's. For the first time that week her heart started to betray her, but her focus was still as strong as ever, as was her willpower. She poured her energy into calming herself, and on the ride over did every calming exercise she could remember. At last, it was time.

* * *

From what she remembered of her dad, she knew he was a simple and down to earth man. So she was a little surprised at the size of his house. It was nowhere near the square footage of the Cullens' home, she surmised, but still it went against every assumption she'd made of her widowed, low-maintenance dad. Well there would be plenty of room for her then, she thought.

A passing car snapped her out of her thoughts. Enough stalling, she said to her self. Steeling herself, Bella wheeled her bike up to the front door and rang the bell.

A few seconds later, her father stood in front of her.

Bella's heart skipped a beat as she laid eyes on him. Very little had changed. Same old-fashioned haircut, same gentle brown eyes, same slightly unkempt mustache. His plaid shirt, washed out jeans and boots resembled her memory of him almost perfectly...

"Hello, Dad," she chanced after a few moments when it looked like he wasn't planning on opening his mouth.

"Bella," he replied. "Come inside. Leave that," pointing to the bike.

She followed his instructions wordlessly and walked into the house behind him.

"How was your trip?" He asked.

"Fine," she said quickly. "How, er, how are you?"

"Fine," he replied.

This wasn't going too well. She had no idea what else she could say.

"Nice place," she blurted. Great. Let's talk about the weather next.

"Thanks," he said. Quiet again. Then, "I inherited it. Folks passed on long ago. Was renting it before."

"Oh," she said, again not sure where to go from here.

"Is that all your luggage?" He asked, pointing to the bag that was still strapped to her shoulders.

"Uh, yeah," she confirmed.

"Good, good," he mumbled. "I guess I'll, uh, show you where you'll be staying."

"Oh," she said, trying to hide her confusion. Why did this all sound a bit...strange? "Yeah, ok. Thank you."

Her confusion only increased as he headed not for the stairs, but for the front door.

* * *

"Grab your bike," he said as he started walking around the side of the house.

She did as he said, keeping a short distance away from her father as she followed him clear around the house, then through a wide, freshly mowed clearing. She kept quiet even though she itched to ask exactly where they were going.

And then she saw it. From a distance it looked like a garden shed and as they got closer...it still looked like a garden shed. Someone had painted it recently, and despite the nosedive her heart was currently making she appreciated that he had done that much. She left her bike by the door while he unlocked it and stepped inside. She followed.

Inside, it looked better than the outside. It was more spacious than she had assumed at first glance. The main level was maybe the size of an average bedroom, but still big enough to hold a small couch, a table and a chair, and a motley assortment of portable kitchen appliances. There was a mini fridge, a microwave and toaster oven, a hot plate, and even a small blender. In one corner she spied a tiny sink. A ladder led to a loft space about half the size of the lower level, and there she could see that Charlie had put in a small bed and dresser, as well as a space heater.

"I installed this just this week," he said, pointing to the area around the sink. She looked more closely and this time saw a door that when opened, revealed a toilet and a shower stall the size of a phone booth.

Bella stood quietly taking it all in...and tried very hard not to think about what her gut was doing to her at this very moment.

"This is..it's wonderful, Dad. Thank you. It's more than I deserve."

He said nothing.

She took a ragged breath in. "Dad, say what you need to say. It's Ok."

He looked at her then, and for the first time she saw something akin to emotion on his face. She wished she could close her eyes so she'd be spared this, but knew that she must bear it. Charlie had probably never had a chance to uncork his feelings...because right now, the emotion that was playing out so strongly on her father's face...was unquestionably one of hatred.

"I'm allowing this," he started, his own breathing speeding up, "because there is an obligation I must fulfill. No matter how heinous the crime, a father must still provide certain things for his child. A roof over their head. Food and essentials to survive. An education."

Bella's gaze did not waver from his. He needed this. And she needed to hear it.

"I've failed in all those respects, until now. But you're here, and you have two years until you're no longer my responsibility. So until then, I will feed you and shelter you. You'll finish high school. And them I'm done."

She nodded once, slowly, too numb to think a coherent thought.

"This will be your home until then. I'll leave you $50 a week which should cover food and any other needs. Let me know if you need more. Do not come into the house unless it is absolutely necessary. You may go and do as you please but I don't want you to draw attention to yourself. Is that understood?"

"Yes," she whispered.

His gaze lingered on her for a moment more, then he pulled out the key and a few bills and put them on the table.

Bella watched him, rooted to her spot. He turned to leave.

"Bye, Dad," she said softly.

He paused only momentarily, hand on the doorknob.

"It's Charlie," he said as he disappeared out the door.


	12. Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review, if you've gotta moment. Enjoy!

"I can't believe I of all people have to say this, but have you all lost your minds?!" Edward shouted.

Emmett winced, but held his ground beside Rosalie. The entire family assembled for this meeting, well, if you want to call Edward's temper tantrum a meeting. Edward gave him a dark look, but again Emmett did not waver. He was not going to let his brother win this one.

"We all appreciate your concern, but I think in this case you may be overreacting," said Carlisle, ever the diplomat.

"Overreacting?" said Edward incredulously. "Overreacting?! You let a human into the house! You let her spend hours, days with you. God knows what she could have seen! What? You don't think she might notice how none of you ate in front of her? You don't think you might slip and run a little too fast? Or break something that's impossible to break? Did none of you THINK at all before you decided to adopt her?"

"Dude, chill," Emmett interjected. "None of that happened, and she's spent practically every waking hour of the week here. If we were gonna screw up, it would've happened already. So stop freaking!"

Edward curled his lip. "And did you think about what this would do to _me_? Or should I stop freaking about that too?"

"You've improved," Jasper said quietly. "I've been watching you carefully with her scent. I think you might manage staying in the same room if you focused."

Jasper was referring to the dozens of clothes saturated in Bella's scent. It was a brilliant idea on Alice's part, and he helped her carry it out all week. Everyday Alice had forced the poor girl (who in this respect, was the complete polar opposite of his fashion-obsessed wife) into as many of her outfits as she could stand for the express purpose of leaving her scent. Almost always Alice would get carried away, especially when she realized how little Bella had. Then when Jasper felt Bella's panic and discomfort reach too high a level, he would rescue her with whatever distractions he could concoct. That night, Jasper or Carlisle would travel to Denali to deliver the clothes to Edward, where they patiently watched him struggle with the madness and coached him as best as they could.

He smiled as he thought back to the "distractions" he came up with. Bella had an amazing mind...she loved history as much as he did, and had read recreationally on the subject beyond anyone her own age. His own uncomfortable thirst for her appealing blood had subsided considerably, simply because of all the time he spent with her discussing this and that. He cherished her company enough to swallow the venom that still dripped from his teeth when a breeze blew her aroma in his direction. But for the first time in his existence, he refrained from attacking her not just because he didn't want to hurt an innocent human, but because he liked the individual in question-he truly did not want any harm to come to this girl, whether caused by him or by another. His observations over the last week told him his family felt the same way.

"Why can't you comprehend the danger you're putting us all in?" Edward asked, staring each of them down, "the danger you're putting _her_ in? If the Volturi catch wind of this..."

"I think I can speak with more authority on this subject than you can, Edward," Carlisle started, "and I don't believe the Volturi will knock on our door anytime soon. They've never graced us with their presence before, and there's no reason to think they will now."

"And I've been looking," said Alice, referring to her unusual ability to see the future. "There's nothing to be worried about. Please Edward, I really like her!"

"Clearly," he snarled, "you've decided to wait until something does happen before acting in our best interest. Shall I just go find her and have myself a nice meal then?"

Despite his ability to read their minds, Edward was still startled when his sarcastic remark was met with five different angry growls. Esme and his siblings, in fact, looked ready to pounce. Edward stood in shock as he listened to the thoughts around him. He was making a joke, of course. Callous, but a joke nonetheless. Yet, on the other hand, many of them had made terrible mistakes before. It wasn't something any of them liked to think about, but unless you had Carlisle's willpower and restraint, accidentally killing people was something that did occasionally happen. Deep down Edward knew that if he did slip, as awful as that would be, his family would deal with it in the same way they've always dealt with similar slip-ups.

Listening to them now, Edward knew he had better err with anyone in the world but Bella...because if he so much as looked at her in the wrong way, his sibling would rip his head off. Rosalie's mental images of what she would do to him (and the resolve behind them) were especially gruesome. But what was most jarring was Esme's reaction. Esme was the kindest and most loving person in their family. Even though Edward was technically "older", over the years she had played the role of mother so well that he often couldn't help but think of her in that respect. Her thoughts toward him now however, were not very motherly at all.

"Well, then," he said, bitterly. "It's nice to know I have some sympathy."

Carlisle sighed. He knew Bella's blood was torture for his eldest son, but he did believe he would eventually get past it. Like Jasper, he had observed Edward very carefully over the last week as he tried to get accustomed to Bella's scent.

"Son, I think-"

"Don't!" Edward snapped, as he grabbed his bag and snarled at his family. "I'm going back to Denali." And with a final growl he was gone.

Esme looked at her remaining sons and they both nodded. Without a word, they disappeared after Edward. They would try to comfort him-give him a few kind words and encouragement before he left. But they would also make sure he didn't carry out his earlier threat.

* * *

For two days, Bella sat in a near catatonic state. The only window was up by the bed, so that's where she remained as she stared out at the woods. She wondered, as she moved for the first time that day, what her breaking point must be. She had sat here, letting the pain course through her body without release, for hours and hours. It was the first time she had done that-purposefully not stamping it down, but not losing control of it either. And it hurt. It hurt more than anything she'd ever experienced.

You deserve it, she thought to herself darkly. You deserve it and more.

Bella had come here to try to move on with herself, but clearly that wasn't going to happen. Oh she would move forward in some ways. She would finish school so her dad-so Charlie could feel like he fulfilled his obligations. Is was all she could give him now, and she would, no matter how much pain staying here caused her.

She looked down from her perch at her new home. It was an improvement over the trees and rooftops that had been her previous sanctuaries. And to be able to have a hot meal and shower daily...that was a luxury...a luxury she didn't deserve. She looked down at her bed. It looked new, she was surprised to find, and even though the sheets and blanket obviously weren't they were still warm and comfortable. It's too much, she thought, her heart clenching again. It's way too much.

As had kept happening all weekend, Bella started to feel closed in and uncomfortable. She hadn't given much thought to how she would take to living indoors but now that she was here, alone in a tiny space she started to panic. She opened the window and took in a few deep breaths of fresh air. Exhaustion overtook her all of a sudden, and she welcomed the darkness as she lay down on her new bed.

* * *

Rosalie stood on a branch high enough so that she was able to see inside the single window in that godforsaken shed. She had stayed at that post for hours, watching Bella go through a series of emotions that had left her, Rosalie, trembling.

She couldn't understand what the girl was doing here. She thought she had gone to the wrong house at first when she couldn't sense her anywhere at the address she thought belonged to Charlie. But then she had caught her scent in a breeze and rushed to the tiny shack at the edge of Chief Swan's property, and there she was.

Rosalie had felt a mild panic as she watched the girl, because Bella had kept absolutely still for hours. It wasn't natural. Then again, every day this week Bella had caused her to come to that same conclusion in her mind. This girl was not natural. What 16-year-old has never heard of a Wii? She would never believe it if she didn't actually witness it for herself...the past week, it seemed like everything Esme cooked for her was a brand new experience for the girl...like she really had never had pancakes or egg rolls or steak in her life.

It wasn't natural how she'd wormed her way into her family's dead hearts. Emmett and Alice were absolutely crazy about her. Jasper had spent hours upon hours comparing books they'd read and arguing over pointless details...what normal human gives a damn about any of that? And what normal human reads so goddamn much anyway?! Esme...Esme was practically a first-time mother with the way she fussed and fawned over her...though Rosalie had to hand it to Bella on this one-Bella too seemed to care for Esme as she would care for her own mother, and she knew Esme's heart swelled with this knowledge.

As for her...Rosalie didn't know where to begin. It would've been so much easier if she hadn't had that encounter with her at the supermarket. It would've been nothing, then, to hate her and insist along with Edward that they leave lest their family be exposed. But that was an impossibility now. The things she felt for the girl...she was terrified out of her wits at the things she felt for this girl. That night after Bella had foolishly stuck her neck out to "save" her, Rosalie had gone to hunt and to knock some trees down. When Emmett found her later she had been so overcome she had sobbed silently on his shoulder. They had talked for hours then. Emmett was a kind soul with no real malice at all. He was intrigued with Bella and had calmly reassured her that the strength of what she felt only meant the girl was worth the effort.

He just had to befriend her...she thought wryly. Emmett and Bella got along like they were best friends (or BFFs as her husband so eloquently put it). She didn't think he had meant to take things quite so far, to get quite so close to her, but it happened and there was no going back now. Emmett cared for Bella just as deeply as the rest of them did. She couldn't hate her. Not when her husband loved her so much. Not when everything inside her screamed at her to get to know her, to get closer.

And now the girl who had captured her family's hearts was sitting in a dirty, tiny shed and looking like the definition of suffering. Rosalie had never felt so helpless before. She wanted to leap through that window and hold her in her arms, but of course she couldn't. Aside from the whole leaping through the window thing, Bella would probably freak if she reached for her in any way...she probably thought she wanted to kill her.

Rosalie sighed at that...she had let her pettiness go a little too far this week. As usual, she had let her own anger and shame out on those around her, and Bella was the perfect victim. She had glared at her incessantly, hoping her feelings for Bella would follow her hints and transform to real hatred. But that never happened. It seemed to accomplish the opposite in fact, as she felt herself soften more and more when Bella, instead of recoiling in fear like any normal human would, stared her down with patience and curiosity.

Rosalie sighed again. She would try to be on better behavior from now on. With that resolve, Rosalie looked at her one last time and ran home to Emmett.


	13. School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review, if you've gotta moment. Enjoy!

Bella would've slept through the entire morning if it hadn't been for her screaming stomach. She realized with a groan that she hadn't actually eaten anything since Saturday morning's breakfast at the Cullens. Not that she was a stranger to hunger, but this past week had spoiled her a bit and she had almost forgotten what it was like to not know how she'd come by her next meal. She quickly checked her fridge and thankfully found that it contained a few things. She took out an apple and hungrily bit it into it.

After she satiated her hunger somewhat, she showered and pulled on her cleanest pair of jeans, shirt, and jacket and headed out to start her first day of school.

The bike ride took nearly half an hour and by the time she reached the campus the cool air had invigorated her a bit. Charlie had left her a box full of school supplies she'd probably need...empty notebooks, a calculator, pens and pencils, etc. It was strange to leave the rest of her clothes and meager possessions behind. But if she remembered anything from her grade school days, it was that she was likely to meet some bullies who would insist on upending the contents of her bag at some point during the day. Obviously she didn't want to have her only clothes in said bag when that happened.

She wished Charlie had left her some instructions on what to do once she got there. Bella didn't have any school records so placing her wasn't going to be all that simple. She locked her bike in front of the biggest building and, since she was there already decided to go in and try to find the main office. She was still incredibly early. Even most of the teachers weren't there yet. Inside she quickly found the office, took a deep breath and stepped in.

"Excuse me," she said politely, "I'm not sure where I need to go. Can you please help me?"

"Yes?" A tired looking woman replied.

"My name is Bella Swan. I'm new. Er-I think my father told you I'd be coming?"

"Hmm, yes. Yes, he did, although for the life of me why you couldn't procure your records I don't understand!"

Bella didn't think of anything to say so she stayed quiet. The woman sighed dramatically and bid her over to an empty room.

"Leave your bag here. These are placement exams for your age. Finish them and then we'll see," she said quickly.

"Thank you," said Bella, and quietly took the papers and a pencil and went inside the room.

Here we go, she thought to herself. Bella had already memorized the state's standard levels for sophomores through seniors, and she knew exactly what she needed to do not only to place into the correct grade, but also to tweak the system a little and get into classes certain friends of her were taking.

Carefully, but still in record time, Bella completed all the exams. When she walked back out the woman, Mrs. Cope according the placard on her desk, stared.

"Done already?" She asked incredulously.

Shit. Bella thought she had worked slowly enough, but apparently she was going to have to work a lot harder if she wanted to avoid raising suspicions. Deciding that trying to explain herself would only make things worse, Bella kept quiet as the surprised woman graded her exams against a rubric.

"Hmm," was all she got.

It took her longer to grade than for Bella to take the tests. Bella waited patiently, all while listening to the growing throng outside. The students were arriving. She knew that technically speaking, this school had a very small student body, but she was still quite anxious at the prospect of spending hours every day cooped up in small rooms with so many of them. Her heart skipped a few beats as the memories of the hell she'd endured as a child in school came back to her.

"All right, we're going to place you in 10th grade, but you can choose a few higher level courses if you'd like," said Ms. Cope, reluctantly it seemed. "Here, take a look at the schedules and mark your choices."

Bella eagerly took the schedules and tried not to look too pleased with herself. She had done it! And looking down at the schedules in her hand, fought back a smile as she realized she'd be with a friend for most, if not all her classes. She silently thanked Alice for letting her look at all their class schedules last week. In the end she'd be taking art and gym with Alice, AP physics and AP calculus with Rosalie and Emmett, and AP US history and AP English literature with Jasper, which Alice also took.

"Hi Bella!" she heard a bright voice behind her say. Alice danced her way into the office, a big smile on her face. Rosalie followed in behind her. "Got your schedule yet?"

"Yea, right here," Bella smiled. She showed her, acting like she had no idea they'd be in classes together.

"Oooh this is wonderful!" Alice exclaimed. "You have some classes with me! And some with you too Rosalie!" she said, looking at her sister. "We have art together! Oh, please be my partner! Please, please, pretty please!"

Bella laughed. It was impossible to feel any negativity around this girl. "Of course I will," she said, "but don't you have a partner already?"

"Nah," she started, looking a little down. "We kinda keep to ourselves...and people don't really talk to us much."

Well that was a surprise, she thought as she frowned. Bella couldn't imagine anyone not wanting to spend time with Alice or Emmett or Jasper. Rosalie she might understand...hard to want to hang out with someone who looks like they want to kill you...but Bella knew that Rosalie had a kinder, gentler side that she was still hopeful she'd reach eventually. She opened her mouth to say as much (not including the bit about Rosalie) but Alice just smiled gently and shook her head.

"I know what you're going to say," she said, "but it's true. That's actually why we wanted to talk to you a bit before class started. Bella, we really think you should try to find some other group to sit with at lunch. Not because we don't want to hang out with you! Believe me-," she added quickly when Bella's face fell, "but because you'll never make any friends otherwise. Trust me."

Bella really didn't know what to think or how to react to that, so she just nodded slowly.

"All right," she said, though it was difficult to hide the disappointment in her voice. Find other people to sit with? Other kids who'd probably realize it was more fun to torture her than befriend her? Her budding friendship with the Cullens still amazed her. That she had connected to strongly with kids her own age, and their parents, in such a short amount of time was nothing short of miraculous. She didn't think she could pull that particular rabbit out of the hat twice.

Alice and Rosalie showed her where her locker was and walked with her to Art, the first class of the day.

"How did it go with your dad?" Rosalie asked her quietly.

Bella almost tripped. Was Rosalie actually speaking to her? Bella looked at her as they walked, and the look she got back held no anger or malice of any sort. Rosalie was actually...gentle.

"Fine," she said, trying to hide the surprise in her voice. "It was fine."

"I've seen his house a few times from the road," she said. "It looks like a nice place. Big, certainly. Did you like your new room?"

Where was she going with this? "Uh, yeah," she replied. "Bigger than I've ever had before." It was the truth, actually.

Rosalie looked at her for a few moments like she was contemplating something.

"Would you mind partnering with me and Emmett in calculus?" Rosalie asked. "He never stops fooling around in class, and I'd like to get an A this semester. I have a feeling you'll be able to help me keep him in line."

Bella couldn't believe what she was hearing. Furthermore, she couldn't believe how beautiful Rosalie's voice was when she spoke this softly. No wonder Emmett was in love with her.

She nodded and smiled at the girl, and was ecstatic when she was rewarded with a small but genuine smile from her. Rosalie excused herself from their company then, needing to go in another direction to her own class, and Bella continued on with Alice through the crowded hallway.

She wasn't sure if it was because she was a new student...she was getting a lot of stares from the student body as they walked down the hall. Bella was about to ask Alice if this was normal, when she stopped and looked back some more. No they were staring at her and at Alice. Like they were seeing something, other than Bella, that they'd never seen before. What the hell?

Bella didn't have time to be confused for long because before she knew it, they were at the classroom door.

"Let me talk to the teacher first," Alice whispered, "...get to her to assign you by me, if that's ok?" Alice suddenly looked unsure.

"Of course!" Bella exclaimed. "Jeez, you don't have to ask!"

Alice smiled brightly and skipped to talk to the teacher.

That pattern continued all day. One of the Cullens was always there to walk her to her next class where they'd somehow convince the teacher to let her sit and/or partner with them. In every class she was asked to stand and introduce herself, which she did while hoping she wouldn't stutter or do anything to attract bullies' attention. During class she would spy other kids occasionally looking at her out of the corners of their eyes, curiosity clearly written on their faces. At the end of class she'd have the teacher sign the paperwork that needed to be signed for new students, walk out with a Cullen, and start over again.

There were two points in the day when the pattern deviated a bit. The first was during her study hall which was the only class where she truly knew no one. Without Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and even Rosalie to protect her, Bella was finally approached by a few other students.

One of them, Angela, was nice enough. She asked her name, about her time in Pennsylvania, and what living with her Dad was like after all those years. She was a little surprised, but later realized she shouldn't have been, that Angela and apparently everyone in school knew a few things about her already. It was a small town after all, but still...

Bella tried to be friendly. She really did, but it was hard with all the noise surrounding her. This study hall was not quiet, and a lot of the other kids kept leaning over and looking at her, wanting to hear from the new girl. There were so many of them. She didn't want to judge prematurely, but she couldn't help comparing these kids to the younger pubescent varieties she had last encountered in a school. A gleam in someone's eye, a smirk, a look of irritation or a sarcastic smile between friends...she knew the signs when she was little, and she recognized them now in some of the people around her. Still, Angela had only been kind and Bella wanted to reciprocate. So when she casually invited her to sit with her and her friends during lunch, Bella agreed.

As they entered the cafeteria together, Bella's heart drummed loudly in her chest and her ears throbbed painfully from the blood flow. She thought she had prepared herself for this but now that she was here, she felt woefully in over her head. Angela gave her a questioning look when she noticed Bella's white knuckles around her lunch tray.

"Sorry," Bella said with a weak smile. "I don't like crowds."

"You think _this_ is crowded?" Angela asked in surprise. "There's only a few hundred people in this whole school! I take it you went to an even smaller school in PA?"

"Mmm," Bella replied, not wanting to elaborate further on her fake previous life.

They picked up their lunches and Bella followed Angela to a much too crowded table.

"Hey guys," Angela began. "This is Bella Swan, the new girl."

A chorus of hello's followed. Bella smiled a shy smile to each of them in turn as they introduced themselves: aside from Angela she met Mike, Tyler, Jessica, Ben, and Lauren. Bella was really hungry, but would hardly swallow a bite when someone would ask her a question about herself. She'd put on a show of taking her time swallowing as she thought of something to say, then respond in as few words as possible while not appearing to be rude. Whenever she saw an in, she'd ask one of them an open-ended question and thankfully, these kids seemed to love hearing themselves talk and obliged her with long, winded answers.

She glanced at the Cullens' table, wishing she could sit with them. Emmett and Alice caught her eye a few times and gave her a thumbs up, which comforted Bella a little; she had calculus with Emmett and Rosalie after lunch. Just a little while longer, she thought.

There was just 10 minutes to go when an excitable, raven-haired Asian boy plopped onto Mike's lap and smirked, "Miss me honey?"

"Ew, dude," said Mike. "Get off!"

"No can do!" Eric said. "I'm here for the 411! New girl! Bella Swan, right? Babe, what's the deal?"

"Sorry?" Bella asked, thoroughly confused.

"Word on the grapevine is you're pals with the Cullens!" He exclaimed as if it was the most obvious thing. "Do tell."

"Er," Bella didn't know what to say, or what Eric wanted her to say. And it wasn't just Eric, Bella realized as her stomach fell. The entire table was looking up at her with rapt attention. "I'm not sure what you want to hear. Yeah, we're friends. We met last week and hung out a lot. So what?"

Eric looked at her like she had a second head. "So what? So what?! So _nobody_ is just 'friends with the Cullens.' That's gotta be a bigger achievement than befriending the Kardashians," he said wistfully.

"Like you could ever dream of hanging with the Kardashians," Angela stepped in. Bella sighed and silently thanked the girl.

"Ha! What's not to love?" He asked smirking again. "I got beauty, brains, and personality baby!"

They all laughed at that.

And then Lauren, who was very quiet until then while Eric was there spoke up. "No offense, Bella. But you really shouldn't hang out with them. It's totally screwed up that they live together and hook up like that. It should be illegal. And they're actually all super mean. I mean Alice is ok, but the others? Jasper looks like he's in pain all the time and won't talk to you. Total creep. The big guy, Emmett, actually broke a locker once when he was mad at something. He's dangerous and probably takes steroids to be that buff. Edward just looks right through you like you're not even there. And I'm sorry, but Rosalie is a total bitch."

Jessica, Mike and Tyler murmured their agreements and Eric, bored, left the table. If any of them had actually looked at Bella at that moment they would've seen a look of anger that few people had ever witnessed.

"No, she's not," said Bella.

"What?" Lauren asked.

"No. She's not," Bella said, loud enough for the rest of the table to look up. "Rosalie is not a bitch. She's a good person and has a heart of gold. And everything you said about the rest of them-it's not true. They're the nicest people I've ever met. And anyone who says otherwise either doesn't know them or doesn't deserve to."

They all gaped at her. She was still angry, otherwise she'd be extremely self-conscious from the long stares. Thankfully the bell rang just then, and she quickly gathered her things and left after saying goodbye to Angela.

She walked as fast she could to her locker, still fuming, to drop off that morning's heavy textbooks and head off to calculus. As she closed it again and turned around, she spotted Rosalie walking towards her. Again, she had that same gentle smile on her face...and again Bella caught herself noticing her radiant beauty. She quickly masked her admiration with a shy but friendly smile.

"Shall we?" Rosalie asked playfully, sticking her arm out. Hmm, Bella really hoped nice Rosalie was here to stay.

Bella's smile widened as she looped her arm through her's. "Let's," she said, and together they walked to their next class.


	14. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review, if you've gotta moment. Enjoy!
> 
> Author's note: To those of you who have written a review, thank you so much! This is my first attempt at writing anything aside from school papers and I can't tell you how encouraging it is to read your comments.
> 
> Author's note II: I want to mention here that I got the inspiration for the main relationship in this story from Tossing Stones by Princess Alexandria. If you haven't read it, I strongly urge you to do so-it's fantastic. Like, bloody, holy crap on a cracker FANTASTIC (so is everything else she's written but I digress). It's actually the one fanfic that made me a believer in the Bella/Rosalie pairing. I have to give credit where credit is due...much of the dynamics between Rosalie, Bella and Emmett that you'll see develop from here on is very similar to that in Tossing Stones. So Princess Alexandria, if you're reading this...thank you, thank you, thank you for inspiring me.
> 
> Author's note III: This is a very short chapter, but it's Saturday night and as long as I still have the energy I'll keep writing. Keep your fingers crossed for another chapter before I fall asleep!

Emmett was supposed to be working on the sheet of problems in front of him, but at the moment he had other things on his mind...most of them having to do with the strange human he and his family had fallen for.

He had been worried about her, and he could see now that he was right to. Bella didn't seem to know how to deal with people. Oh, she was fine when it was just one person. But put her in a group...it was like she was another girl. Shy, withdrawn, even fearful. He couldn't understand it. How could this girl, who was completely comfortable in a house full of vampires, change so drastically in a room full of humans? It made no sense.

It was Emmett who insisted they keep Bella company as much as they could between her classes. After one glance at her, Jasper readily supported him. Jasper later told him of the anxiety he could feel rolling off of Bella whenever any of them weren't with her.

He truly wished they could find a way for her to sit with them at lunch but it was just impossible. There was no way she wouldn't notice that none of them ate. They were able to get away with it at home because they could always say they'd grabbed a bite while she was in another room. He knew she wished she could sit with them too-it was so obvious from the longing looks he saw when he caught her eye in the cafeteria, but it really was for her own good. He couldn't imagine what would happen if she found out the truth. Still, Bella was his best human friend and he didn't like seeing her obvious distress.

He smiled in wonder as he thought back to last period in the cafeteria. Bella was amazing! She had stood up to that cretin of a girl and defended his family like she was one of them. She didn't have to do that. She couldn't know that they were all listening. He was sure they all would've understood if she had chosen not to comment on Lauren's remarks. But Bella Bear wouldn't take the insults and she shoved them right back in that bitch's mouth. She spoke up for all of them, but he didn't miss that it was the mention of Rosalie that triggered Bella's anger. He saw it, they all did. Angry Bella was...a little scary truth be told. His perfect vision saw her eyes get brighter, her fists tremble, and he could've sworn he heard a faint snarl. He definitely heard her heart, already louder than everyone else's because he was so well attuned to her, triple in speed and intensity. If he ever doubted that Bella Bear cared deeply for his Rosalie...well he didn't doubt it anymore.

He looked over at his wife and he could see that she too was studying the girl, though she was doing a better job of moving down the pointless calculus problems than he was. This was the second time in as many weeks that Bella Bear had come to Rosalie's defense. And it was clear that she gave no thought to the implications either. If Rosalie hadn't gotten between her and those bastards last week...And today, while nowhere near the danger of that distasteful encounter, Bella probably ruined her chances of friendship with those kids. Bella couldn't possibly know the ramifications of her actions as far as Rosalie went, but Emmett knew his wife very well. Without knowing it, Bella was doing an outstanding job of getting his wife to fall for her.

He sighed as his gaze went back to his wife of 70 years. Rosalie could deny it all she wanted, and she probably would till it hit her over the head, but Emmett knew better. She was falling for the girl, hard. It would take a while for the two of them to realize it, but they would eventually...he was sure of it. Emmett knew the conventional thing to do was demand fidelity from his wife. He knew he was supposed to be angry and resentful of both Rosalie and Bella. But he honestly wasn't, and to demand anything from Rosalie...well, you just don't do that with Rosalie. Emmett loved his wife. More than that, he understood her better than anyone else...and she loved and understood him...they were mates after all. He couldn't imagine a situation that could ever change that. He believed with all his frozen heart that the marriage he and Rosalie built could withstand anything, even a third person. The thought of sharing his wife was, he admitted, a little scary. But if it was Bella...well then he was ok with it. Bella was worth it, and if things actually progressed in that direction, he had no doubt that Bella would care for and treasure his Rosalie as much as he did and as much as Rosalie deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note IV: Sunday morning. Nope, collapsed soon after writing this. I have to go to work soon, but I'll try to sneak in a few paragraphs anyway.


	15. Endurance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please, please read and review if you can spare a moment. They make my day.
> 
> Author's note: I'd like to clarify something a few people mentioned in the reviews. This is NOT a Bella/Rosalie/Emmett fic. There will be Bella/Rosalie, and there will probably be some mild Emmett/Rosalie since their relationship is so integral to this story. I hope this is clear now.

Bella sighed in relief when the last bell rang and she could finally flee. In the last couple of hours her tolerance for pain had reached new heights. She could feel Emmett and Rosalie staring at her all through their classes together, and could only pray that her stiff, focused demeanor hadn't made them suspicious.

Though her head was practically vibrating with the power coursing through her body, Bella was still able to reflect on what had happened earlier. She knew she was incredibly lucky. Bella was quite familiar with her body and the way it reacted...if what she felt had occurred just a few months ago, everyone in the cafeteria would be dead. In the past, when she'd come this close to disaster she'd take it as a cue to leave town. But this was the second time in as many days that she had this reaction and was able to contain it. Did that mean she'd finally found a way to live with it? Or was there some unforeseen consequence to keeping that power locked in?

God, what if she hurt someone again? She had worked so hard to keep her distance from people for the express purpose of never, ever repeating the accident that killed her mother. What if in the last couple of years, she had just been lulled into a false sense of security? What if she wasn't as strong as she thought she was?

She glanced at Rosalie and Emmett who were walking beside her out of the classroom. What if she hurt them? Or Alice or Jasper or Carlisle or Esme? Esme...Esme had become so much more to her than her friends' mother. Bella was not a fool-she knew what her behavior and her feelings for the woman meant... that she now very much considered her a surrogate parent. She doubted Esme felt the same way, but her treatment of Bella while she was practically living with them last week suggested she at the very least felt a sympathy and compassion toward the younger girl. A week ago, Bella was so starved for any kind of emotional connection that she had latched onto Esme with everything she had.

She blinked back a tear as the thought of hurting Esme, hurting any of the Cullens...

"Bella Bear, are you ok?" Emmett was asking quietly.

Bella nodded, not trusting her own voice at the moment. The pain she felt in her heart was in many ways more powerful and debilitating than the burning all over her body. She had to stay away from the Cullens. Every second she spent with them, she was putting them in grave danger. They had shown her love, compassion, friendship. They had filled the shell that Bella used to be with something that resembled a human being. The best way to repay them now was to leave them in peace before she made a fatal mistake.

"Hey," Rosalie's soft voice reached her, and Bella felt herself be maneuvered so she was looking directly into her eyes. "What's going on, Bella?"

Even as she repeated the words to herself, she knew she couldn't leave. One look in Rosalie's eyes and Bella could feel her resolve crumbling into dust. Bella could endure the pain her power forced on her. She could endure a thousand times the pain she felt in the cafeteria. But she didn't have the strength to leave these people...not if she wanted to hold on to the last shreds of her humanity.

"Yeah," Bella said to Rosalie. "I'm-I'll be ok. First day jitters that's all."

Bella smiled lightly. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow," she said to both of them.

"We can give you a ride if you'd like, Bells," said Emmett. "Your bike will fit in my car, no problem."

"No! No, that's ok," Bella said quickly. She would rather none of them see her pitiful accommodations. "I need to get groceries and a few other things for my room. I'd be holding you up."

"It's no trouble," insisted Emmett. "Besides you won't be able to carry much on that bike."

"Really, I'm ok," Bella silently begged him to get the hint. Rosalie, thankfully, seemed to sense her panic. She put a hand on Emmett's arm and gave him a meaningful look. Bella sent her a grateful smile and, after saying a hurried goodbye, pedaled herself away.

* * *

"Don't take it personally, love," Rosalie said. "I don't think she wants us to see where she lives."

"Huh?" Asked Emmet. "Why not?"

Rosalie sighed. She would rather let Bella explain in her own time, but she couldn't lie to Emmett.

"Come on," she said, leading him to the jeep. "We'll talk on the way."

They waved to their siblings to meet them at home. After they'd driven a mile or so away from the school, Rosalie turned to her husband.

"I spent most of yesterday in the woods by Chief Swan's house," she said, cringing a little at his amused expression. "Her father's making her live in the garden shed."

"WHAT?!" He shouted, veering the car close to the yellow line.

"Yeah," she said sadly. "That was pretty much my reaction too."

"I'm gonna kill him," Emmett growled.

"I'll help you," she mumbled. They weren't serious, of course. The both knew that. "But let's find out what his deal is first. Bella has to want to tell us."

They were both quiet for a few minutes as they sped.

"I'm glad you've decided to give her a chance," Emmett said quietly.

Rosalie didn't respond right away. After a few moments of silence she looked out the window and said, "you know why I..."

Emmett reached over the console and held her hand. "I know. Hey," he said, when she continued to frown out the window. "I love you. And I'll say it everyday if I have to...I'll support you no matter what happens. I know you think I'm crazy, Rose, but this girl..., she's different. She's worth it."

Rosalie didn't respond, though she did give Emmett's hand a squeeze. Her heart swelled with love for her husband. She couldn't have found a better man than him.

* * *

"A penny for your thoughts, dearest," Alice said playfully.

Jasper looked at his wife. She was in the passenger's seat of his car, radiant as ever.

"It's Bella," he said, slowly. "Did you...did you notice anything off about her after lunch today?"

"Hmm," she said. "I'm not sure. Off in what way? She can run faster than any human I've seen. The gym teacher was begging her to join track." She smiled at the memory of the man's incredulous face as Bella kept refusing his offers.

"That's not what I mean," said Jasper.

"Then what exactly do you mean?" asked Alice impatiently. He still hadn't decided to say anything so she couldn't see what he was talking about.

Jasper chuckled at his wife's impatience. Then he was serious again. "I can't make sense of her emotions. After she left the cafeteria, it felt like Bella was in terrible pain."

"What? Why?" Alice asked, concerned.

"I don't know," said Jasper, frustrated. "Nothing actually happened, physically. But this was much too intense to be just emotional. No, she was in real, physical pain. And it hurt like hell." Jasper winced remembering how he had to excuse himself from class to go outside. He had to put some distance between himself and Bella, it was that bad.

"And when I joined you in the hall after your class together," he continued, "it was still there, only her face betrayed nothing. You'd never know by looking at her that anything was wrong. But Alice, I swear, something was very, very wrong today."

Alice frowned, deep in thought.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jasper asked as he grinned wryly.

"She's very difficult to see," she said quietly.

"What?" Jasper exclaimed. This was new.

"It's not impossible," she said, "but it's like I have to fight through this really thick fog to get to her. I can get through, but it gives me a terrible headache."

Jasper stared at Alice.

"No," she said, having seen him ask the question on his mind. "Nothing like this has ever happened before. As far as I know, nobody else in the world can block me like that. It's maddening..."

"I wonder if she can block Edward, too..." Jasper mused, wishing for the thousandth time he could acquire that particular ability. Edward was still in Denali, and still pissed off at his family. Any other coven, and Jasper would've been worried Edward would go to the Volturi to rat them out. But one of the benefits of their vegetarian lifestyle was the ability to form familial bonds, and so Jasper didn't really worry about something like that happening. But he sure was angry enough, Jasper thought darkly. He sighed. Tonight was his turn to deliver Bella's scent to his brother. He really wasn't looking forward to a night of Edward's melodrama, but it had to be done. He decided right then and there not to reveal what he'd felt from Bella. No need to fuel the drama.

Alice nodded next to him. "It'll work. He won't hear anything," she said.

They drove in companionable silence once again.

"Hey!" Alice exclaimed, nearly startling him. "We're almost out of clothes," referring to the ones with Bella's scent. "We'll have to get her to try some more! I've got to find a way to get her to take some..."

Jasper chuckled. Poor Bella.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Ok, so I've taken a few liberties with Alice's visions. But this Bella is different from Twilight Bella. The gifts she possesses, the experiences she's had have made her a completely different person. If it's possible to block Edward's gift, there's no reason why it can't be possible to block, or, in this case, significantly hamper Alice's.


	16. Renée

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please read and review. It makes me smile.

Bella tapped her foot nervously thinking that surely, what she was about to do couldn't possibly be more difficult than the rest of the day had been. But as she waited for Charlie to answer the door, she knew she'd take a few hours with a horde of teenagers any day over this. Just say hello, ask your question, and say goodbye, she thought to herself. Nothing to it.

She straightened when she heard his footsteps on the other side of the door and before she knew it, he was staring at her, a questioning look in his eyes.

"Hello!" Bella blurted, before she could deviate from her plan. "How are you?" Fuck. 2 seconds and you can't stick with a plan. Brilliant, Bella.

Charlie's face was blank. "Fine," he said flatly, then stood silently, waiting. A few moments later, he sighed and asked, "what can I do for you, Bella?"

Bella swallowed. "I came to ask you for permission to get a library card," she said. "If it's ok, can you please sign this application? I'm sorry to bother you, but they need a parent's permission."

Charlie nodded. "All right. Let me get a pen." He turned to go inside, then paused and faced Bella again. "You can come inside if you want."

Surprised, Bella nodded and followed him in.

The last time she was here she was so distracted with seeing Charlie that she didn't really get a good look at the place. Now, while Charlie rummaged around in the kitchen, Bella's eyes wandered and took in the place her father called home. The furniture was a little old-fashioned. She couldn't be sure, but it didn't look like Charlie had updated anything when he inherited this place. Everywhere, there were signs that this was a man's house. An empty pizza box, a can of beer, a very expensive looking entertainment center...the kinds of things she supposed were typical in a house without a woman's touch.

The only feminine-ish looking area was a table off to the side in the entryway that contained a set of tastefully positioned photographs in nice picture frames. Bella walked towards it to take a closer look, and immediately wished she hadn't.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she was confronted with a dozen pictures of her mother.

Renée was so beautiful. Her eyes glowed with warmth and laughter. She remembered her always full of life and funny quirks...the kind of person who would buy an ice cream cone in the middle of the coldest day just because the ice cream man was probably lonely...the kind of mom who didn't get mad when Bella got paint all over her shirt, but would instead laugh and help her paint her pants so they'd match.

There on the table before her, she saw pictures of her mother on her wedding day, when she was a teenager, younger than Bella playing on a swing, in a park with Charlie, laying on a picnic blanket, and many more. Bella stared and stared, like an addict within sight of his fix. In seven years, the only pictures she had of her mother were what she could conjure in her mind. And she was so young when it happened...this woman before her put her mental image of her to shame. She was perfect. And Bella had destroyed her.

The second Bella realized who was in the photographs she had braced herself for the pain. It didn't disappoint.

For the second time that day her body boiled, the pain strong enough to knock out anyone in the world but Bella, who was so used to this feeling that, even though it still shocked her to the core, it was practically second nature. To the casual observer, Bella looked the same as she did 10 seconds ago. Inside, she was burning.

She took a deep breath as she clutched one of the photographs in her hands. Renée wasn't smiling in this one. She was older, close to her last years of life. The picture was taken in a playground somewhere. She was sitting on top of a slide, looking off to her right in the distance...as if she could see something that nobody else could. Bella looked at that picture for a long time, wondering what her mother was seeing...wondering if she had any idea her young daughter harbored a monster deep inside her.

Charlie cleared his throat, and Bella took a step back, still holding that picture.

"Here you go," he said, handing her the signed application.

"Thank you," said Bella. She felt the pain rise slightly as she asked, "Can I-can I have one of these? Please?"

Charlie didn't say anything though he stiffened, like he was about to say no. But then he swallowed and slowly nodded.

"Can I have this one?" Bella asked, holding out the picture in her hand so her father could see.

Again, he nodded.

"Thank you, Charlie." And before he could change his mind, before Bella could burst into tears, she took the photograph and the application, and left for home.

* * *

Alice looked at her watch impatiently as she waited in front of the shed. She glared at it darkly. Now, now, she admonished herself. The shed didn't do anything to you, and Bella probably wouldn't appreciate you leveling her...home. She sighed as she paced back and forth in front of the door. One problem at a time, she told herself. Tonight, her task was to cheer Bella up.

30 minutes ago, Alice was painting one of her bedroom walls-something she liked to do every few weeks or so-when she thought she'd take a break and work on her Bella-gazing. Maybe if she practiced it would get easier. She concentrated hard, and then harder still on her favorite human. Fog. Ugh. She closed her eyes and imagined sweeping the fog aside. Gradually, tortuously, it worked. But she didn't like what she saw-Bella was curled up on her bed and crying. Alice quickly withdrew from the vision, grabbed her keys, and ran to her car before anyone could ask questions. Friends are supposed to help one another, she thought. It was her job to comfort Bella, so that's what she would do.

When she got to the Swans' house, she parked her car (well, it was Edward's car, technically) a little ways off. She saw Bella almost immediately, walking up to the house from somewhere else on the property. She knew the vision's timing wouldn't be for a 10 minutes or so, and she was curious, so she ran in the direction Bella had come from to see what was out there.

The garden shed confused her at first, then horrified her as the obvious truth sunk in. She leaped up to the only window to look inside and sure enough, there was the bed from her vision. This was where Bella lived. She hissed into the night. There would be time for that later, she thought. Bella would get here in a couple of minutes and she didn't want to scare the poor girl.

She heard the front door of the house open and close. Alice darted into the shadows to wait until Bella made it inside that goddamn shed. She waited another minute then she made her way over and knocked.

* * *

Bella looked so cute with her mouth open like that.

"Hi Bella!" Alice said with as much cheeriness as she could muster.

"Uh, hi," said Bella. "What-how?"

Alice was nothing if not quick on her feet. "I was coming over to see you, and saw you walk in here," she said, shrugging. "May I come in?"

"Oh...yea. Sure," said Bella. The poor girl looked ready to die of embarrassment as Alice looked around.

"Hmm," said Alice, trying to hide her distaste at the uncomfortable looking couch. "When were you planning on telling me about this place?"

Bella blushed even more. "Umm, I wasn't...going to."

"Bella!" Alice said indignantly. "I thought we were friends!"

"We are!" Bella quickly said.

"Friends don't keep things like this from each other," Alice pouted, but felt a little guilty even as the words came out of her mouth. There was so much she had to keep from her friend...She wished, as she had many times that week, that she could really spill everything to Bella.

Bella looked down, and Alice felt even more guilty at Bella's sad face. She wasn't doing a very good job cheering her up.

"Oh don't worry about it. We _will_ talk about this later," Alice said sternly. "But I didn't come to yell at you. I came to ask if you wanted to come over and play!"

"Play?" Bella asked, smiling now. Yes! It was working! "What, dress-up?"

"Oooh, well since you suggested it..."

"Oh god, no!" Bella exclaimed in mock horror. "Alice, you can't possibly be serious."

"I'm always serious you silly girl," Alice tisked. "But I'll reward you for coming up with the idea yourself...let's see, you only have to try on 10 outfits tonight...and let me pick something for you to wear tomorrow!"

Bella made a show of thinking about it for a second. "Promise no skirts or dresses and you have a deal."

Oh well, small moves, Alice thought. "Deal!"

Alice waited while Bella made sure her homework was in her backpack, then together they ran off to Alice's (Edward's) car.

* * *

"Can I ask you something?" Alice started.

"Sure," replied Bella.

Alice paused, hoping she didn't do anything to upset the girl. They had just started off in the car, and Alice was driving painfully slow so she would have the chance to ask this question.

"When you opened your door, your eyes were red," Alice said softly. "Why were you crying?"

Bella didn't say anything for a while, and Alice again cursed whatever block Bella was putting on her. She didn't usually start a difficult conversation without vetting possible scenarios first.

"There were some pictures of my mom in Charlie's house," said Bella. "They made me sad."

"Because you miss her?" Alice asked.

"Yes," said Bella.

"What was she like?" Alice asked. If Bella was the product of her mother and father, and her father was such an asshole-she held back a growl-then her mother must have been a saint, Alice thought.

Bella smiled sadly. "She was amazing. She taught kindergarten, and always acted like a child herself. Drove Charlie crazy sometimes, but I loved it. My mom was this big kid. She was my best friend."

Alice wasn't sure if it was appropriate to ask or not. Humans can get so touchy about death.

Bella sighed. "It's ok, you can ask."

"What happened?" Alice asked.

"Gas leak," whispered Bella. "Whole neighborhood went up. A lot of people died. I was with Charlie, on our way back from some store when it happened."

If Alice could cry, she would have. "I'm sorry, Bella," she said.

A little while later, Alice spoke up again. "You know, I don't' remember my life before Carlisle and Esme adopted me."

"You don't?" Bella asked, obviously surprised.

"No," Alice said, sadly. "I'm not even sure if Alice is my real name...I wish I could remember my life before...What my parents were like, if I had any brothers and sisters. I know it must be hard missing your mom like you do, but at least you have the memories. She sounds like she was a really awesome person. You were lucky to have her, even for just a short while. And I think she was lucky to have you...because now she lives on in your memories."

Bella said nothing, but reached over and grabbed Alice's hand. Alice felt the tug of a smile on her face as she looked at her best friend.

"Thanks," said Bella, just as they reached Alice's house.

Emmett is right, Alice thought. This one is so worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I'd love to hear what you think of this one. First time Alice POV. It was hard figuring out where to begin with her. How do you write a story from the perspective of someone who, in theory, has the potential to know everything that's gonna happen before it happens? Looking forward to reading your reviews!


	17. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please take the time to review. Every time I look at my phone and see a new review notification, it's like a rainbow in my heart. Keep the rainbow alive.
> 
> Author's note: I apologize for not updating yesterday. I sat down with the laptop and started to write...then woke up 5 hours later :(

"Emmett! Put me DOWN or so help me God I will super glue your balls to your ASS!"

Bella heard a chorus of chuckles downstairs, and unfortunately, from the person making her mouth off.

Emmett ignored Bella's protests and continued hauling her around like a potato sack. Until 10 seconds ago she was very happy to see him-he had just rescued her from Alice's clutches after all. Alice had stuck to her promise of 10 outfits to try, but Bella had failed to stipulate the number of shoes and accessories. So the combinations increased exponentially when, with every pair of pants and shirt, she also had to model shoes, belts, scarves, jewelry, hats, and things she didn't even have names for.

"Bella Bear, you spent hours with Alice!" Emmett pouted, which would've been pretty funny to see on a ripped guy like him...except the only thing Bella could see at the moment was his behind. "It's my turn! You promised!"

He plopped her beside Rosalie on the couch, where he had already laid out her controller, snacks, and glass of water. Bella was touched, and though she wanted to continue to glare daggers at him, rolled her eyes and smiled to herself a little.

"You can say it," Rosalie said with a smile. "My Emmett's a toddler."

Bella had to laugh at the mental picture of Emmett in diapers. She wondered if she could see any of their baby pictures, but just as quickly as the thought had come she dismissed it. She didn't know a lot of the details behind their adoptions-they might not have any such childhood mementos. She certainly didn't.

"Don't let him monopolize your time," said Rosalie. "You probably have a ton of school work to catch up on. Oh, and I could use your help with a few calc problems if you don't mind. You seemed to have it down in class."

Bella nodded, still unsure how to behave with a friendly Rosalie. She supposed she'd get used to it, but part of her worried that as soon as she did, Rosalie would change her behavior again. Bella also thought she shouldn't mention that her work was already completed. Completed, and of course, perfect. She knew she should be a teensy bit careful and not draw too much attention to herself at school. But great academics weren't the end of the world. Surely there were plenty of whiz kids out there. Bella only had two years and change to build herself a way to to move on. Perfect grades and glowing recommendations should help secure college and, hopefully, a scholarship.

Bella didn't have time to ponder anymore, because she now had to keep her character alive through the assault Emmett had them walk into. Bella really did enjoy hanging out with Emmett. No matter what they did together, Emmett had a way of making her constantly laugh-like when he started whistling the Jaws theme as they prepared for an ambush. She couldn't help but be envious a little-if only she could be carefree like that. Emmett shouted instructions to her ("Bang Bang, Bella Bear!"), prompting her to laugh again. It was then that she realized she _was_ carefree and happy...when she was with this family. Emmett and Alice, Rosalie and Jasper, Esme and even Carlisle when she got to see him...they made it hard to linger in her usual depression. It was easy, so easy to smile and laugh and joke around in the company of these slightly odd golden-eyed bunch. They made her feel like a part of their family. Bella thought back to her earlier fears and vowed that she would do everything in her power to keep them from harm. Even though she had "superpowers" Bella had never felt like a superhero. If anything, her years in exile were a desperate attempt to avoid becoming a villain. Now though, she thought as she looked at each member of her surrogate family, now she has something to protect.

Later, after a few more rounds with Emmett, he, Rosalie and Bella worked together on their calculus homework. Bella of course had no way of knowing that Rosalie and Emmett had done these particular problems dozens of times before...Nonetheless, Rosalie and Emmett were secretly impressed with Bella's rapid understanding of the subject, and the effectiveness of her "tutoring."

After calculus, Emmett tried to get Bella into a new game.

"Really, Emmett," Carlisle said, giving his son a look. "I'm sure Bella has a mountain of homework to catch up on."

"Actually I'm all caught up," said Bella without thinking. Oh crap, she thought.

Rosalie gave her a funny look. "You're done? Bella, the physics assignments alone would take anyone hours."

If you look guilty, they'll know something's up. If you look guilty, they'll know something's up, Bella thought to herself over and over as she tried to think of a way out of this one.

She shrugged. "I've seen all of it before," she said, hoping her voice contained nothing more than nonchalance. "And, I don't know if you've noticed," she added with a wide grin, "I'm pretty brilliant."

"Awesome!" Exclaimed Emmett as he started to drag her to the TV.

"Actually, Bella," Esme started. "How would you like to help me pick out the colors for this new house I'm working on?"

"Really?" Asked Bella, digging her heels to turn around, much to Emmett's disappointment.

"Really," said Esme, smiling at Bella's obvious enthusiasm.

Bella hoped the little jig her body couldn't help but do went unnoticed by the others. It didn't. With a laugh, Esme pulled the excited girl up to her office.

* * *

Emmett whined that his mom was stealing his BFF, but Rosalie wasn't listening.

She was staring long and hard at the table where the three of them were doing their homework. Her perfect memory was recounting the day, picking up on things she hadn't the first time. School was easy for Bella. Too easy. The advanced classes she shared with her weren't easy even for the vampires. Well, no, they were pretty easy. But that was only because they'd repeated the same material year after year after year. Rosalie had come across some exceptionally smart humans over the decades who excelled at everything, but even they had to spend a few minutes working through a complex differential equation. During class today, Bella barely paused to think, and she _never_ made a mistake.

What was _more_ disturbing was that Bella periodically slowed down, and Rosalie could see that it was a conscious effort on her part...as if Bella knew what she was doing was unnatural and was trying to hide it...

Rosalie shook her head. She had to make herself stop wondering if Bella was human. She was, absolutely 100% human. And Carlisle sensed nothing amiss. His medical experience combined with his superior senses allow him to sense abnormalities in the human body. If there was something off he would have said so by now.

Still, Rosalie decided to keep a close eye on Bella. She'd need Alice's and Jasper's help, and even Emmett's if she could get him to keep his mouth shut. Alice appeared in front of the stairs and nodded to Rosalie, who realized that she must have seen her decision. One down, Rosalie thought.

* * *

Bella was quietly perusing a thick book of fabric samples when Esme cleared her throat to get her attention.

"Sweetheart," Esme began. "Alice told me about your...home. I'm a bit concerned."

That was the understatement of the century, Esme thought. Bella's presence in the house was the only thing that kept her from screaming bloody murder. Alice had come to her while Bella was with Rosalie and Emmett, and explained Bella's situation. Esme was fuming, and Carlisle had to remind her that Bella probably wouldn't appreciate it if she killed her only living relative that night. How could a parent treat their only child with such callousness? And Bella of all people! The girl was warm and considerate, bright and so kind. Just the fact that she didn't shy away from a large group of vampires like the Cullens made her special. That night in the supermarket...the pull the girl seemed to have on Esme had shocked her. The way Bella looked at her that night...Esme didn't know how Bella was able to look at her with such depth and love without knowing her, but she did, and Esme had felt herself immediately drawn to the girl. When she found out later that Bella and Edward's singer were one and the same, Esme felt a powerful sense of protectiveness for her. She could not, would not allow her to come to harm. She felt a little guilty with her behavior towards Edward since she'd met Bella. She did sympathize with the pain their proximity to her was bringing him. But Bella was a drug they all needed. Sometimes...sometimes, it felt like Bella made them forget they were less than human. And so she slowly but surely fell in love with her, as did the rest of her family aside from Edward. Now, the thought of anyone causing Bella in pain, especially someone who was supposed to care for her and protect her, made her see red.

Bella froze holding the heavy book. Esme sighed and took the book from her, then sat her down on the desk chair.

"Bella," Esme said, gently. "I just want to make sure you're ok. If that man is hurting you, if he's hurting you in any way I swear I'll make-"

"He's not!" Bella blurted out. "It's not like that, I swear. He hasn't laid a finger on me."

"Then...if I may ask, what's going on?" Esme asked.

Bella didn't say anything for a minute. She looked down, at the desk, in every direction but Esme's.

"Please," she begged. "Can't it be enough that he's not hurting me? I'm ok with where I'm staying. It's nice to have some privacy. I have everything I need there. Please, please can you let this go?"

She could see that it was no use trying tonight. Bella wasn't ready to talk about what was clearly a loaded subject.

"Bella, can I have your word that you'll come to me if he does anything, _anything_ to hurt you? I'll let it go, but can you promise me that?" Esme asked.

"I promise," said Bella.

"All right," Esme said. This was not the end of that, she knew. But eventually, Bella would talk.

* * *

Bella and Esme got so carried away in her office that it was past midnight before either of them noticed the time. Esme then insisted Bella stay the night, and she was so exhausted she didn't give much of a protest. She stayed in Alice's room. Alice was, of course, ecstatic ("I get to dress you in the morning!").

The next morning, Bella was pulled reluctantly out of a restful sleep by a much too hyper Alice, who couldn't wait to see Bella in the clothes she'd picked out for her. Too tired to argue or notice anything beyond her hooded eyelids, Bella complied without a word. The Cullens were early risers so it would seem. They had all eaten breakfast already, but Esme saved her a place at the table and Bella enjoyed a sumptuous meal.

Emmett loaded her bike into his Jeep and after Esme gave everyone, including an embarrassed Bella, a bagged lunch and waved them away, they all headed out.

Before Bella got into the car though, she thought of something she wanted to do and turned around before she could change her mind.

"Forgot something!" She explained to her friends. "Be right back."

She walked back through the front door of the house and looked around till she found Esme cleaning up in the kitchen.

Without a word, Bella reached the woman and hugged her tightly. Surprised, Esme stood still at first, then gingerly hugged her back. After a minute, Bella pulled back and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you," Bella said softly, and before Esme could respond, she was out the door.


	18. Routine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Please review if you can. Reviews make me happy. You want me to be happy, don't you?

Throughout the remainder of that day, Bella repeatedly thanked her lucky stars that she shared most of her classes with at least one of the Cullens. It would seem that her little outburst in defense of her friends yesterday had earned her a place on the school's blacklist. Lauren, and by extension the group of kids at yesterday's lunch table, was among the most popular in school. She was also not someone who took a rebuking lying down, and was now determined to make Bella's high school stay in Forks as miserable as possible.

Bella wasn't enormously concerned with this. It would've been nice to be someone with lots of friends and who exchanged smiles and friendly chit-chat on a daily basis...but it's not like Bella knew what she'd be missing. Besides, if she had to be perfectly honest with herself, she knew it was better this way. More friends and chatter would mean more questions that she couldn't answer. It would mean more opportunities for Bella to lose control and hurt someone. Her dance with the Cullens was difficult enough.

In any case she didn't have to worry about anything while in the company of her friends. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie could summon pretty intense glares against anyone who dared look at Bella the wrong way. Alice's glares achieved the intended effect on her targets, but they also made Bella crack up in hysteria-which made Alice huff in annoyance every time.

"Really, Bella," she said after Bella snickered for the third time. "They won't take me seriously if you don't too. How am I supposed to strike fear in the hearts of our enemies?"

Bella rolled her eyes as they walked together through the hall, though she turned serious again soon enough.

"Alice, they're not 'our' enemies." Bella thought back to what Lauren had said yesterday-she didn't have anything negative to say about Alice then. "You don't have to make yourself a target for my sake. It's not worth it."

"Yes, you are," said Alice, in a manner that suggested the case was closed.

Bella sighed. She'd drop it for now, but the thought of Alice's life-or any of the Cullens' lives-becoming more difficult because of their intolerance of Bella's bullying...well, _that_ was intolerable.

As far as Bella could see, she had to concentrate on two-well, three things to get herself through each day in school. She needed to be a stellar student so when it came time for college applications she'd have a chance, but she also needed to be extremely careful not to outperform Einstein or do something that would draw suspicion. Finally, she needed to avoid situations like the one in which she found herself yesterday, when she almost blew up the building. And Bella thought she had a pretty good idea on how to do that.

Luckily, Bella had study hall and lunch (the two times in the day she was Cullen-less) back-to-back, otherwise her plan wouldn't work as well as she believed it would. When the bell rang for 4th period study hall, Bella quickly veered up a rarely used staircase. When she reached her destination, a set of heavy doors locked in place, Bella furtively cast a glance around her. Finding the area deserted, she looked down at the lock. Seconds later, she heard the click of the lock coming undone. With a smile, Bella opened the door that led to the school's rooftop and closed it behind her. Problem solved, she thought.

* * *

Emmett and Rosalie were worried. It was 15 minutes into lunch period and there was no sign of Bella. They glared darkly in the direction of Lauren's table every few seconds, both wondering if the vengeful girl had done something to their friend. Of course, they knew she hadn't. They could hear Lauren and her friend, Jessica, talking about Bella and wondering where she was. They had a few new jibes they wanted to throw at her. Emmett and Rosalie growled loud enough to almost attract their neighbors' attention.

"Cool it you two!" said Jasper, who was feeling the extra tension around him. "I'm sure she's Ok. She's probably in the library."

"That's a good idea!" Emmett jumped. "I'll go check."

He was about to leave the table when something Lauren was saying to Jessica caught his attention.

"Get this, I heard from Mrs. Donaldson who heard it from her husband, who's good friends with Chief Swan that he didn't even want her to come. Even her own father can't stand her!"

"Well I heard that the Chief tried to find any other relatives who'd take her," Jessica said. "But they all think she's cursed or something and refused."

"What do you mean she's cursed?! How?" Lauren asked her eagerly.

"Well, her mom died in this really big explosion," Jessica said. "Bella was supposedly not even there, but some reports say there was a little girl who was found on the scene...the only survivor! And then she disappeared without a trace! Poof!"

"Oh my god!" exclaimed Lauren. "You think that was her? That she had something to do with it?"

"Who knows?" Jessica said, mysteriously. "But why didn't she live with her dad all this time? My mom remembers her mom. She told me they were all really happy together before they moved to Phoenix. What could've happened that would make the Chief hate his own daughter, enough to send her away across the country?"

"If that's where she really was..." Lauren let that hang.

This time, all four Cullens had to stifle their snarls.

"Alice, will Carlisle and Esme really mind if we shred these hags to pieces?" Rosalie asked.

Alice paused and looked off into the distance. "Yes," she said, disappointed.

"Damn it," Rosalie said.

* * *

Bella snuck back into the building a few minute before the bell signaled the end of lunch. When she made it to calculus before anyone else, she took a moment to congratulate herself on a brilliant execution of a rather brilliant plan. Now, she thought, all she needed to do was repeat that performance every school day for the next 26 months.

She was pulled out of her musing when Rosalie and Emmett slid into their seats beside her.

"Where were you?" Rosalie hissed, startling Bella.

"What? Oh, hi..." Bella replied cautiously. Shit, does Rosalie hate her again? Rosalie kept glaring at her, and Bella felt her heart drop in disappointment.

"We were worried, Bella Bear," said Emmett. He gave Rosalie a pointed look and she softened her features slightly as she met Bella's eyes.

"We thought Jessica and Lauren might have done something to you," Rosalie explained softly. "We couldn't find you in the cafeteria."

Bella sighed in relief, then snorted at what Rosalie and Emmett were implying. As if Lauren and Jessica could honestly stand a chance against her. Of course, without using her powers Bella _was_ at their mercy...there were far worse punishments than sticks and stones after all, as any bullying victim could attest to. But her seven years on her own had taught her how to put a barrier between herself and the rest of the world. She had gone months at a time without uttering a word to another soul. And sticks, stones, or unkind words...Bella doubted there was anything in the world more painful than the pain she experienced on a regular basis.

"I'm serious!" Rosalie hissed again, incredulous at how lightly Bella was taking her own safety.

"Relax," said Bella gently. "I'll show you where I was. After school," she muttered as the rest of the students started to trickle in.

Throughout the rest of the afternoon, Bella spent her time implementing the other parts of her plan to 'get through high school and not kill anyone'. By the middle of AP Lit, she had even devised a fun way to get through reading books at a normal reading speed. After she was done with a page, she'd force herself to stop and then lightly tap out the lyrics of a song or two...in morse code. After a couple of minutes, she'd read another page and do the same thing again. She thought it worked pretty well as it kept her turning pages at the same rate as the other students.

She failed to notice the queer looks Jasper kept giving her.

* * *

"Bells, you're a strange one," was all Emmett would say.

Bella had kept her word and after they'd gathered their things from their respective lockers, she had taken Rosalie and Emmett to her new hideout. It _was_ a little strange, but Bella was more accustomed to the view from higher up than from the ground. Rooftops were among her favorite places to haunt before, mainly because of their convenience and accessibility day or night. Trees were good too, but roofs tended to be more stable...especially when she slept. Not that falling from a great height could ever hurt her...

"So this is your plan? You're going to hide up here everyday?" Rosalie asked. She too was giving Bella a strange look.

"You make it sound so dreadful," Bella complained. "It's wonderful up here! Fresh air, cool breeze, birds-"

"And bees," said Emmett with a chuckle. "What?" He added when Rosalie punched him in the arm.

"And when it rains?" Rosalie asked.

Bella just pointed to her jacket. "Hoodie," she added for good measure.

Rosalie shook her head. Bella refrained from bringing up what she desperately wanted to ask...just _why_ she couldn't have lunch with them. Bella didn't want to appear clingy, which was why she hadn't and wouldn't bring it up...but the question exasperated her nonetheless. It would be one thing if she thought the Cullens _didn't_ want her to sit with them, but she believed the opposite was true. She had seen the wishful looks on Emmett's and Alice's faces yesterday at lunch. They wanted her to sit with them. No, there was something else going on here, but Bella thought it best to keep quiet for now.

Bella walked the length of the roof as she mulled, and turned to walk around the edge on the way back like she was accustomed to doing when in deep thought (and when she happened to be standing on a rooftop), when Rosalie suddenly pulled her back.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" Rosalie asked hysterically.

"Huh?" Bella asked, confused. "Oh, Jeez no. Relax, Rosalie. I'm good with heights. See?"

Bella proved her point by doing a perfect back flip, landing two inches from the edge of the roof.

"Super Bella!" Emmett exclaimed, laughing, and mimicked her move. Soon the two of them were doing parkour tricks all over the school roof, laughing and outdoing each other with every move...while Rosalie watched with a mixture of awe, shock, and confusion.

* * *

The next few weeks followed the routine that Bella had established on her first days of school. She'd either bike or catch a ride to school with the Cullens. She'd spent the day trying to perfect the line between being super smart and super scary smart. Because of her speed, she was pretty much always able to finish her homework in class before the last bell rang, which was a good thing because her evenings were usually spent in the company of the Cullens. Much to her happy surprise, she no longer had to spend lunch in isolation either. One or more of her friends always finished lunch early and would come up to join her. They'd talk, read, or in Emmett's case, perform dangerous parkour moves until the bell rang and they reluctantly had to rejoin civilization.

After school, Bella would bike home and make herself something simple to eat. She respected Charlie's ground rules and, save for when he signed her library card application, Bella hadn't gone to see him, nor he her. He kept his word too-he never demanded or asked anything of her, and every Sunday morning like clockwork he'd slide an envelope full of money under her door. Seeing his police cruiser outside was the only sign that he even lived in that house.

Sometimes she went to the library as it was still a familiar and comforting place for her, and now that she had her first library card she could and did take books home by the bucketload (figuratively speaking of course, though she did install two baskets on her bike for the express purpose of hauling all her books). At that point in the day, after the Cullens had had their dinner, Emmett or Alice would pick her up to come over. She didn't have a cell phone, but somehow they always seemed to know where she was. She shrugged when she thought of that-it was a pretty small town...there were only so many places one could be.

At their house, Bella would relax in her pursuits of a myriad of different activities with her friends. Between video games, reading, chess and other board games, and of course working with Esme on whatever project she had going on, Bella seemed to have her little niche in the world. She was even starting to develop a small appreciation for fashion (a _very_ small appreciation) and would occasionally acquiesce and let Alice lend her something to wear. She even found something she could do with Rosalie. When Bella got her first good look around the garage, she was was stunned into silence...not just because of the gleaming cars but at the, well for lack of a better word, 'high-techiness' of the equipment lying around. She was more surprised to learn that taking care of these cars was Rosalie's passion. She remembered the first time she saw Rosalie in that garage, wearing a workman's jumpsuit and still managing to look sexy. That was the first time Bella could say she thought Rosalie looked truly happy, and Bella couldn't begin to describe the feeling that Rosalie's blissful glow elicited in her. The next day, Bella went to the library and read every book on auto care she could find, and from that point on she made a point of hanging out with Rosalie from time to time in the garage and acting as her assistant.

There were a few times when the routine changed, and that was when the Cullens went on their extended camping trips. On those days, Bella had to endure a far bigger share of dirty looks, verbal taunts, and occasional shoves from her classmates. But it was rarely too much for her to handle. Bella had found her happy place. Whenever the abuse was close to reaching her breaking point, she would simply think of Esme's hugs or Carlisle's calm voice. She'd think of Jasper's kind eyes, Alice's musical laugh, Emmet's cheerful grin, and Rosalie's...well, Rosalie's everything...and it would be enough to calm her down. Bella had never felt so happy and secure in her life.

Which was why she was feeling both excited and apprehensive at the moment. She didn't want the happy routine to change, but surely with a family like the Cullens, things could only get better...right?

The fifth sibling, Edward Cullen, was returning home tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Dun dun dun.


	19. Edward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, yada yada yada. I'm absolutely addicted to your reviews. Thank you!

When Bella heard the news that Edward was on his way home, she was at first cautiously optimistic. With kids like Jasper, Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie, and with parents like Carlisle and Esme...Edward was most likely a great guy in his own right. Except as the days wore on and his arrival date creeped closer, Bella's optimism turned to worry, and then panic. The rest of the Cullens were...acting really strangely. She couldn't understand the dark looks that would cross over Rosalie's or Emmett's faces when Edward's name came up. And she definitely couldn't understand the apprehensive looks all of them kept giving _her_ as his arrival loomed closer. What was going on?

She knew very little about the boy except for the nuggets of information she had gleaned over the weeks. Edward generally kept to himself, but was very thoughtful and could read people very well. He had been with cousins in Alaska since spring break-had left for Denali right before Bella arrived in Forks in fact. That was all she knew. Oh, and he was very protective of his piano, she thought as she rolled her eyes.

A couple of weeks ago, she was having the time of her life exploring the Cullens' library with Carlisle and Jasper, admiring Carlisle's old paintings and itching to get her hands on some of those extremely rare books that Carlisle had collected. Carlisle was a generous host and, knowing Bella would appreciate it far more than most, granted her complete access to his collection. Much to his and Jasper's delight (and Emmett's and Alice's annoyance) Bella took him up on his offer and started to work her way through the extensive collection.

One day, after taking a necessary bathroom back, she walked past the open door of their music room. Her breath had caught in her chest as she looked longingly at the beautiful piano in the middle of the room. Playing the piano was one of the few luxuries Bella allowed herself during her long exile. Most libraries she visited had one somewhere, and aside from reading she'd often play. She had taken lessons as a child, but after her photographic memory took hold she threw herself into mastering the piano with fervor. In the beginning, when her emotions were much more volatile and she tended to have more accidents, concentrating on playing the notes was the only thing that could calm the tempest inside her. As she got older and learned to control the beast, she'd often use the gentle music she had stored in her mind to pass the time on the many lonely days and nights. She didn't even need a piano anymore-all she had to do was close her eyes and she could perfectly visualize the keys in front of her and the exact pitch and harmony of each measure.

But when she saw the piano in the Cullens' house, it had been nearly four months since she'd actually played, and Bella was suddenly overcome with the urge to do so. She was just about to sit down when Alice appeared beside her and hurriedly explained that Edward forbade anyone from touching the piano, and that it really wasn't a good idea to do so even in his absence...basically forbidding her from entering the room. Bella had no way of knowing that it was her scent Alice was concerned about-that for Edward's sake they didn't want her scent overwhelming the one room in the house that contained Edward's passion. Not knowing any of this, Bella was rather irked. Their high school didn't have music classes, and the local library was a little too small to be able to afford such a luxury. So, Bella gave Edward's piano one final, sad look and left the room.

She thought of that memory, and of all the small things she knew about Edward as Rosalie's car zoomed down the highway from her house to theirs. It was Saturday morning, and Rosalie had picked her up as she sometimes did to hang out with their family for the day. She and Emmett were taking her to Port Angeles, but first they'd make a stop at their house to pick Emmett up and gather a few things...and there, Bella would say hello to Edward.

As they got closer to the house, Bella's nervousness increased. She knew she technically had nothing to fear, but Rosalie's obvious unease was infectious. From what she'd observed the last few weeks, Rosalie only ever acted like this when she was worried for Bella's safety. No matter how many times Bella would prove her superb sense of balance and fitness on the school rooftops, Rosalie would still flip out. She smiled a little when she thought of how protective Rosalie was over her. It didn't irritate Bella at all...not yet anyway. She found it a little endearing actually. If Rosalie only knew, she mused...

Before she knew it, they had arrived.

Rosalie parked the car in front of the house, and before Bella could get her seat belt off she was at Bella's side, opening her door for her. Bella didn't comment-she had gotten used to little things like that that Rosalie often did for Bella, and Bella reciprocated when she could. She still didn't understand how Rosalie had gone from hating her to enjoying her company, but who was she to complain? Rosalie led her to the front door, and with a slight (an eternity to Bella) pause, opened the door.

* * *

The first thing Bella noticed when she got a good look inside the main living area, was that all the Cullens were somewhere in the vicinity. Alice sat on one of the steps of the staircase. Jasper was reading a book in the armchair by the fireplace. Esme and Carlisle were talking to one another in front of one of the patio doors. And Emmett was sitting right beside the only person she didn't recognize, Edward.

Like the rest of them, he too had the topaz eyes she'd come to associate with the Cullens. He, too, was paler than the average person. He was tall, but nowhere near as tall as Emmett-probably closer to her own height in fact. His most distinguishable feature, other than the unusual eyes, was the crop of messy, styled bronze hair on his head. The other thing Bella noticed about his appearance was how...stiff he was. It reminded her of the way Jasper used to be when she first met him, actually. Unlike Jasper though, the expression on his face was completely passive...as if everything he looked at was incorporeal and he could see perfectly what was on the other side. Hmm, Lauren had a point there, she thought.

"Bella," Carlisle said. "I'm glad you could be here today. This is our son, Edward."

Bella turned her attention back to the boy, and put on her most polite and friendly face. "Hi, Edward. It's nice to finally meet you."

Should she shake his hand? Sit down and talk for a few minutes? She was completely at a loss. She took a step forward, then stopped. Rosalie had almost mirrored her move exactly beside her. She hesitated and looked up. Was it her imagination, or did the entire family just tense up and move forward slightly? She paused and looked around again. No, she wasn't imagining things. In fact, now that she was thinking about it...the Cullens' positions around the room didn't look accidental. She had to be crazy to think like this...but it looked like...it looked like they had Edward surrounded from every angle, with the strongest member of the household right beside him like a handler. And Rosalie...Rosalie was her bodyguard.

Alright, calm down you crazy person, she told herself. You are literally being insane. Bella was the most dangerous person in this room, not Edward. She took a deep breath and called every method she knew that would calm her down.

"Did you have a good time in Denali, Edward?" She asked, hoping to sound casual.

"Yes, thank you," he finally spoke. His voice was soft, but there was a bite to it. "I rarely get to see our cousins. And I missed the last trip the family took, so I enjoyed the extra time there."

"Oh, that's good," she said.

"How are you enjoying Forks? It's not a usual traveler's destination," he said.

"I love it," she said, smiling, "mostly thanks to your family here."

"That's good," he said.

Now what? As if reading her thoughts, Rosalie touched her arm and led her to the stairs.

"Come on, Bella," she said. "Alice needs your help with something before we go."

And with that, Bella waved to everyone and went up the stairs with Rosalie and Alice-one in front of her, one behind her, she noted.

* * *

"Well done, Edward!" Esme exclaimed quietly so only the other vampires could hear.

"You did wonderfully, son," Carlisle smiled at his eldest.

Edward, however was not smiling. He was looking intensely at the top of the stairs.

"What is it?" Jasper asked his brother.

"I can't...read her," Edward said through gritted teeth.

"What?" Carlisle exclaimed.

"I can't read her," repeated Edward. "There's nothing. I'm not getting anything from her mind."

They were all quiet as they took this in. Upstairs, Alice and Rosalie too quieted down.

"No this is not 'awesome!'' Edward suddenly turned to Emmett. "How are we supposed to know when she starts to suspect? And what exactly is she anyway?! No human has ever blocked me!"

"Edward, calm yourself," said Carlisle. "Bella is human. Her scent is obvious. And I can tell from experience, as well."

"And we have Jasper and Alice," Esme added. "They'll be able to tell if something goes wrong."

"Alice's gift doesn't work on her!" Edward yelled, and added, noting Carlisle and Esme's shocked faces, "or didn't she tell you about that?"

"It does work," Jasper said, hearing his wife's growl from upstairs. "She has to concentrate harder than usual, yes. But Alice can see Bella."

"How interesting..." Carlisle contemplated out loud. "To have such a powerful gift as a human..."

"Way to go, Bella Bear," Emmett whispered, much to Edward's annoyance.

* * *

Alice and Rosalie looked at each other and both wondered the same thing. Why on earth had it not occurred to them that Bella's blocking was a gift? It made perfect sense as soon as Carlisle said it. Still though...humans don't usually exhibit such powerful abnormalities. Edward certainly couldn't read minds before he was turned. And Jasper could only guess at others' emotions. Alice of course had no idea if she demonstrated any potential as a human, since she had no memory of her human life.

"Ok, Alice," Bella stepped out of the closet. "This is the last one. If you don't like it I'm sticking to my jeans."

Alice smiled. Little by little, she was training Bella to be a little more mindful of what she put on her body. The girl was gorgeous...when she wore something other than the old jeans and incessant t-shirts she liked so much. She cast a quick glance at Rosalie and could see that she liked the gradual changes in Bella as well. Her sister liked a lot of things about Bella, she noted slyly, then quickly covered up her thoughts with practiced non-essentials. Damn. She'd gotten used to a house without a telepath.

"Perfect!" Alice cried, and pretended not to see Bella rolling her eyes.

"Not quite," said Rosalie.

"Oh, come on!" Bella cried out. "That was 6 outfits she made me try!"

"Oh, hush," said Rosalie, as she walked out of the room. "I'll be right back."

Moments later, she returned with her fist closed tightly around an object. She led Bella to Alice's mirror and stood behind her. Then she carefully wrapped a necklace around Bella's neck and clasped it shut. Alice's perfect eyesight saw it clearly from where she stood. It didn't look all that extravagant-the chain was simple enough, light and delicate. The adornment was a long, thin rectangle...or rather several rectangles on top of one another with a thin gap of metal between each shape. It was a simple design, but it's execution was brilliant, literally. It shone with a brightness that rivaled the sparkling of their sun-washed skin. The chain too, had the same white ethereal quality as the adornment. On Bella, it reached to a hair's width of the top of her cleavage.

"Uh, isn't this a little much?" Poor Bella looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole. "I mean its beautiful! But, really it's too much, Rosalie."

"No it's not," said Rosalie with a slight smile. "Come on, you let Alice dress you and I can't give you an old necklace?"

Bella sighed and touched the foreign object on her skin. "Thank you," she said quietly into the mirror.

Alice gave her sister a knowing look but Rosalie ignored her. What Rosalie had just done was no mere act of charitable kindness. That necklace was the only piece of jewelry Rosalie was wearing the night she was...turned. For years Rosalie avoided even looking it. Then she'd wear it religiously for a while. Then she'd avoid it again. On and on. That she would part with her only physical link to her humanity...and without, it seemed, a moment's hesitation...just for Bella...

Alice didn't need any gifts to know what was coming.


	20. Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: As usual, I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: This is a few hours late, but it's the longest chapter yet. Seriously I pulled an all-nighter for this-it's 5:30 in the morning and I have to leave for work in two hours. Hopefully you'll reward me with LOTS of reviews!
> 
> Authors note II: If you're the type who likes a soundtrack, I suggest you listen to a piece called "Spiegel im Spiegel" for violin and piano...especially during the second half of this chapter. Go. Youtube it now!

Bella leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the car window. She was glad to put some distance between herself and Edward. The entire exchange was perfectly normal...and completely bizarre. Most of her concern was about the rest of the Cullens though, not Edward himself. She could sit here and try to convince herself otherwise that what she'd seen was just her imagination, but Bella's perfect memory and recall meant she couldn't lie even to herself. There was...something...off. And it involved the whole family.

She looked at the occupants of the front seats, Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie was flying at unthinkable speeds as usual, and Emmett was visibly relaxed beside her, their hands meeting in the middle. Bella smiled at that. She had grown accustomed to the affection that was rampant in the Cullen's household, and was working on becoming more comfortable with it herself. Oh, there were the now frequent hugs and motherly pecks on the cheek she shared with Esme, and the occasional rough housing with Emmett. But whenever she held Alice's hand or leaned into Jasper's half-hugs, she had to consciously tell herself she wouldn't kill them by doing so.

"So what did you think of Edward, Bella Bear?" Emmett asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"Uhh," she really didn't know where to begin.

He chuckled. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Is he always so..." Bella searched for the words.

"Brooding? Meditative? Moody?" He laughed.

"I was going to say thoughtful," she tisked at him. "So...is he?"

"Yup!" Emmett grinned.

"Edward is more complicated than that," said Rosalie. "He's better than most at reading people, so he thinks that makes him understand them...and as a result, he's very quick to judge. People are much more than what's on the surface though...something he doesn't seem to get into his thick skull."

Bella raised an eyebrow at that. It was disconcerting to hear such hostility directed at a Cullen from another Cullen. She couldn't help then but feel a little bad for Edward. It appeared he was the black sheep of this family. Slightly creepy or not, she resolved to try to befriend the boy. He was a Cullen after all-if Esme and Carlisle were the ones who raised him, how bad could he be?

"Music preference, Bella?" Rosalie asked, her hand on the radio dial.

"Um, classical please," she responded.

Rosalie tuned into an appropriate station, and Bella relaxed back into her seat. She knew the piece being played of course. It was Franz Liszt's Liebestraum no. 3, and it was one Bella had played many times. She smiled and closed her eyes, listening.

* * *

Rosalie was having a difficult time keeping her eyes on the road, not that she needed to of course. She was torn between looking back at Bella's peaceful figure in the rear-view mirror and resisting doing just that while Emmett chuckled beside her.

"Are you trying to torture me?" Rosalie whispered, too low and fast for Bella to hear.

"No," his tone was suddenly sincere. "You've figured it out, haven't you?"

Rosalie was silent. She honestly didn't know how to respond.

"Rosalie, I love you," he said passionately. "Now open your eyes and quit acting like Edward. You gave her your necklace for god's sake. _That_ necklace!"

"How is this not bothering you?" She asked, quietly.

Emmett sighed. "Rose, do you love me?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation.

"Do you love me as much as you did 70 years ago?" He asked again.

"I love you more," Rosalie said with all honesty.

"That's why this isn't bothering me," said Emmett. "I'm a little nervous about the logistics mind you," he said with a chuckle, "but I'm not scared of sharing you with her. I-I know this is strange, but I want Bella to be happy too. She's my best friend, Rose, and I want her to be happy. I want you make her happy. She deserves it. You both do."

Rosalie looked at her husband. She wasn't lying before when she said she loved him far more than she did when they first married. Rosalie was broken then, and with his indomitable spirit he had somehow found a way to put her back together. She glanced back at Bella, still concentrating on the music, and thought of the changes the girl had sparked in her since her arrival. Whereas Emmett had pulled her back together, it felt like Bella, in the short weeks she'd been here, had enveloped Rosalie in a protective coating that nothing, not even her bitterness over the lost life she could have led, could penetrate. Like Emmett, Bella had believed in the best of her. Even when facing the worst Rosalie could throw at her, she had still believed.

"I love you," she told him, knowing that those three words were no match for the intensity of her feelings for him.

Emmett smiled softly and squeezed her hand.

* * *

Bella felt like a kid in a candy store as she walked from aisle to aisle in the rare bookstore that was their first destination in Port Angeles. It couldn't hold a candle to Carlisle's collection, but she still spied a few oddities here and there that had her salivating a little.

Emmett groaned. "We had to come here first? Now we'll never leave!"

Rosalie laughed. "Bells, you get 45 minutes, Ok? Or Emmett will melt from boredom."

"Uh, huh," Bella said, completely distracted. A person who grew up surrounded by books never got over their love for them, and Bella had spent _way_ more time with books than anyone even twice her age probably did. At first she did it to test her new-found photographic memory. Then, when it was clear her mind had no limitations, she did it so she'd get some semblance of an education. After she'd passed the doctorate level though, she did it because it was the only way to surround herself with people while still maintaining the necessary distance so as not to hurt them. She could sit in the quietest corner of a library, reading, while still listening to the soft murmurs and movements of other people around her, and pretend that everything was normal...that she was there to study for an exam and that her parents would soon be there to pick her up.

They finally left the store an hour and a half later, much to Emmett's frustration.

"I pick where we go next!" He insisted.

Bella stuck out her tongue in his direction, and he reciprocated with a light shove. Rosalie just shook her head.

Emmett's choice turned out to be an indoor ice skating rink. Bella laughed trying to imagine the huge boy gliding on the ice.

"Have you ever skated, Bella?" Rosalie asked her.

Bella shook her head.

"Hmm, well stick close to me till you get the hang of it," she said.

No problem, Bella thought, and blushed.

"Let's see...there they are," Rosalie said, pulling out some jackets from the trunk of the car and handing one to Bella.

"What else do you have back there?" Bella asked, trying to peek as she pocketed the pair of gloves Rosalie gave her.

"You'll see..." Rosalie said mysteriously. "Come on. Emmet's already pouting."

They both laughed and walked into the arena. As Emmett paid their entrance fee and got their skates, Bella studied the people already out on the ice, trying to understand and memorize the basic moves. When Emmett came back with their skates, she struggled to put them on and wobbled along with them to the ice. She took a couple of unsteady steps and was about to fall but Rosalie caught her at the last second.

"Please be careful," said Rosalie as she supported Bella's back.

"Sorry," said Bella, blushing again. Stop that, she thought to herself.

Rosalie held her hand and they glided a few laps around the rink while Emmett raced past them over and over again, showing off some rather graceful and fancy moves, Bella was surprised to note. Bella continued to analyze the more accomplished skaters around her, and slowly applied what she learned.

"I think I got it, Rosalie," Bella said excitedly and let go of her hand. A little faster now, she continued on her own around the rink, building up speed and confidence. This is fun, she thought to herself with pleasure.

"Woohoo!" She exclaimed as her feet finally fell into step with her brain. She zoomed around the rink, catching up to Emmett and overtaking him with Rosalie following behind. She changed her footing a little and managed a small leap. She changed it again and succeeded with a tight turn that had her spinning till she was laughing uncontrollably. Bella cried out again in delight. She continued experimenting with different axels and jumps that she remembered seeing on TV as a child, not noticing that both Rosalie and Emmett had stopped skating and were watching her together with huge smiles on their faces.

"Nice choice, Emmett," Rosalie said to her husband, unable to take her eyes off the twirling girl.

"I think she'd put Alice to shame," he said in admiration of the complex double jump Bella had just pulled off.

Rosalie nodded in silence.

"I still think you'll win," he said, referring to Rosalie's plan for their evening. "Speaking of which, I won't be joining you there."

"What?" She asked, finally distracted enough to tear her eyes from Bella. "Why not?"

"Because," he said, "you need to spend some time with her on your own...and love, what you got planned really isn't my thing." He crinkled his nose as he smiled warmly at her.

"Don't worry," Emmett said as he put one arm around her shoulder. "She'll love it."

* * *

Bella looked up in confusion when they pulled up to a posh looking inn.

"Uh...what are we doing here?" She asked.

"We need to change our clothes," Rosalie said. "Jeans aren't acceptable where we're going."

"And where exactly is that?" Bella asked, a little apprehensive now.

"You'll see," Rosalie smiled, as the bellhop carried the bags from the trunk to the lobby.

"Have fun, girls!" Emmett blew them kiss. "Call me when you're ready!"

"Emmett's going to a basketball game," Rosalie said to Bella, who was staring after the departing car with even more confusion. "If you think he was bad in the bookstore, believe me you wouldn't want to see him at our next destination."

That didn't help ease Bella's nerves. But she trusted Rosalie, so she let the blonde lead her inside.

"Reservation for Hale," Rosalie said briskly to the man behind the counter.

"Yes, here it is. Would you prefer a double occupancy?" He asked, looking from her to Bella.

"No, that isn't necessary," Rosalie said, causing Bella to blush profusely. What's gotten into you, she scolded herself. Stop this!

Bella's eyes popped at the amount Rosalie signed for, and she had to remind herself that the Cullens were richer than some small countries.

They finally made their way upstairs, Bella trying very hard not to look at the one huge bed in the center of the room. Rosalie opened the garment bags and Bella was unable to stop herself from gasping at the dresses. Holy shit, somebody kill me now, she thought.

"Rosalie," Bella squeaked. "You do know I'm likely to have a panic attack if I have to go outside in one of those, don't you?"

Rosalie turned around and gave her a stern look. "Isabella Swan," she said. "You are more beautiful than a dozen of these dresses. When you wear something like this and people notice you, it won't be because of the dress, believe me. It will be because of you."

She handed Bella her dress. "Now please," she said softly, "Put this on and come back out here so I can do your hair."

Bella gulped but did as she was asked, trying but failing to stop replaying Rosalie's words in her head.

After struggling with the dress a bit in the bathroom-straps were impossible to figure out!-she took a deep breath and came out. Rosalie smiled when she saw her. The dress was a deep blue sheer thing...not exactly revealing but not conservative at all either. It had four straps that weaved over her shoulders and down her exposed back. The front was much simpler-a little too low on her cleavage, Bella thought, but that was all.

Rosalie was ready to go when Bella came out. She wore a black dress that shimmered in the light, Bella noted. It reached to below her knees and Bella was grateful for its elegance...she didn't want to have to concentrate on avoiding...certain areas. Not that it made any difference, she thought dejectedly, as she caught herself staring nonetheless. She quickly turned to the wall and shuffled her feet, never noticing the small knowing smile on Rosalie's face.

Rosalie spent a few minutes on Bella's hair and makeup. She didn't need much, but an occasion did demand a little pomp. She paused as her hand went to her necklace, which was resting right above the valley of Bella's breasts. Bella thought she would die right there as Rosalie's fingers and eyes lingered on it for a few moments.

"It looks good on you," Rosalie said with a smile. Bella smiled weakly.

At last, they exited the room and before Bella knew it, were sitting in a taxi and on their way.

* * *

"No way!" Bella brightened immediately when she saw the big sign on the building.

Rosalie smiled. Yup, I win, she thought. They pulled up and Rosalie laughed when Bella jumped out of the car, barely able to contain herself. She linked arms with her and practically ran inside the Port Angeles Music Hall.

* * *

Bella scarcely blinked that evening. It wasn't a fancy or even well-known ensemble...just the local volunteer symphony orchestra, but it was the first time Bella saw an actual live performance...and she was mesmerized. She drank everything in. The pianist's fingers flying over the keys. The string section's synchronized strokes. The flutes, the oboe, the percussions. The harp. And she listened. She listened to every instrument, her trained ears picking each one out individually. She concentrated so hard she never noticed the tears slowly flowing down her face, or that Rosalie spent the entire time looking at her with a most curious and unreadable expression. She never even comprehended that she was holding Rosalie's hand throughout the whole concert, gripping it tightly every time the music swelled and climaxed.

When it was finally over and Bella gradually became aware of her immediate surroundings, she turned to Rosalie.

"How did you know?" She asked her, her voice unable to project beyond a whisper.

"Alice," Rosalie responded.

They stayed in their seats, not moving or saying anything while the audience and orchestra members steadily filed out.

"You play the piano, right?" Rosalie asked.

Bella nodded.

"Can you stand one more surprise?" She asked her.

Bella raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid to ask..."

Rosalie just smiled and stood up. "Follow me," she said, as she started walking down from the box where they had been seated.

Bella did till they reached the front of the hall, and she waited while Rosalie went to speak in a hushed voice to man in a dark suit by the main doors. They shook hands, and Rosalie started walking back when suddenly the big main doors, as well as all the other side entrances were shut one by one. They were alone in the big hall.

"It's all yours," Rosalie said, grinning.

"What?" Bella asked, not understanding.

"The piano, silly. It's all yours," Rosalie said, smiling widely at Bella's shocked face. "No one will interrupt us for a while."

Bella swallowed, and looked up at the concert grand which dwarfed anything she'd ever played before. Her eagerness to play won over her trepidation and she slowly walked up onto the stage. She walked around the mammoth thing, her hand lightly touching its glossy enclosure. She did the same thing as she sat down, her hands gliding over every key. She took a deep breath to calm her pounding heart, and started to play.

* * *

This time, it was Rosalie who was hypnotized. Bella played like she was drinking her first gulp of water after a long drought. Her eyes were half closed, her mouth shut tight, but her body opened itself up much like it had on the skating rink today...she moved every muscle along with the music...more intensely with the crescendos, less so with the diminuendos. And when the piece reached its climax, Rosalie's stomach flipped as she watched Bella's body swell with it.

Rosalie could watch her like this forever. Piece after piece, Rosalie sat frozen in her chair as she stared intently at Bella's eyes, her lips, her fingers, her legs...while listening to the music the girl effortlessly summoned.

* * *

When Emmett pulled up hours later, Bella was completely drained. He found them sitting on a bench outside, Bella half asleep with her head on Rosalie's shoulder. He smiled at them and helped Bella into the backseat of the car, where she slept soundly the whole way back.

He glanced at his wife, who was smiling subconsciously with a faraway look on her face.

"She enjoyed herself then?" He whispered, careful not to wake the exhausted girl in the back.

Rosalie nodded, unable to say much at the moment.

A little while later, she turned to him and said, "we need to get another piano."

"She's that good?" He asked, chuckling.

"She's amazing," she said breathlessly. "Edward's an amateur next to her."

"Wow," he said, impressed.

She continued to look off into the distance, clearly too distracted to do much talking right now.

"I'm in love with her, Em," Rosalie's voice was small and pleading. She turned to face him, anguish written on her face. "I've been falling for her from the beginning. I can't stop it."

"Hey there," Emmett tried to comfort his wife. "I know. It's ok. We talked about this. I want you to go ahead."

"This isn't some fling!" She cried out. "It's real. As real as you and me. Can you really live with that? If she feels the same way, can you live with a third person for the rest of her life? Even...for the rest of ours? For eternity?"

Emmet gasped. So she _had_ thought about it. He knew the rest of his family was secretly wondering about Bella...joining them, officially someday. Rosalie's strong opinions over their existence and her old life made him wonder if they would win out over her feelings for the girl. But if she was actually thinking about it, and admitting it out loud to him...then clearly her desire for Bella had won.

"Yes, Rose," he said. "I can live with it. I love you, and I love her too. It won't be easy, but if anyone can figure it out it's the two of us, and if there has to be a third person I'm ecstatic that it's her."

Rosalie closed her eyes and looked away. She knew that if she could cry she'd be sobbing a river right now. What did she do to deserve someone like Emmett? She felt overwhelmed with emotion...love for her husband and for the sleeping girl in the back...guilt for daring to imagine eternity with Bella. Despite all that, she still held onto the image of Bella moving with the music, watching her sway with the rhythm in her mind's eye. She shuddered, and, startling Emmett, leaned and kissed him with as much passion as she could muster.

She let out a ragged breath. "Ok."

"Ok?" Emmett needed to be sure.

She nodded once, and looked him in the eye.

"Ok." He repeated. Ok, he thought to himself. Here we go.

They drove in silence the rest of the way. When they reached her home, Emmett turned off the headlights and stopped a little further away so as not to wake her father.

Rosalie turned to him. "I'll take her inside and meet you at the house."

Emmett nodded, and waited while she roused the exhausted girl.

* * *

Rosalie let Bella's full weight lean on her as she watched her husband drive off. She slowly walked a stumbling Bella to the hellhole she called home. Inside, she gently helped her out of her dress and carried her up to the bed. Barely able to sit up, Bella managed to point Rosalie to her night things, which Rosalie then helped her put on.

Rosalie laid her down and tucked her under the covers. She sat there, watching her drift off, stroking her forehead, her cheeks, her hair, until Rosalie knew she had to leave before she couldn't. She leaned in, breathing her divine scent, and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"Sleep well," she whispered, and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please review! If you didn't follow my music recommendation, trust me you're cheating yourself out of a better reading experience. Try it with "Spiegel im Spiegel" in the background and you'll thank me for it!


	21. Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer, please don't sue me.
> 
> Author's note I: Ok, apparently there's some confusion regarding the relationships in this story. I realize that the problem may be that we all have different definitions of "three way" and "open relationship" and things like that, so I'm going to make it very clear. Rosalie and Emmett have a strong, loving relationship. My plan for this story is for Bella and Rosalie to have a similar strong and loving relationship...at the same time. Bella and Emmett will never be more than best friends. As Bella's relationship with Rosalie becomes physical, there will never be any physical relations between Bella and Emmett. I understand that this is unconventional of course. I'll repeat what I said to several of you in replies to your reviews: My Rosalie and Emmett have built a very strong marriage. It would be incredibly wrong for this Rosalie to end her relationship with Emmett just because she develops feelings for someone else. Rosalie and Emmett love each other far more deeply than we ever saw in the books. It is my strong belief that it is possible to love more than one person just as strongly. It is possible, though rare, for a vampire to have more than one mate. Loving someone else doesn't diminish or "cheapen" the first relationship. Emmett can see that Rosalie has fallen for Bella, and to deny her that would cause her great pain...something that in theory, a vampire cannot do to his mate. I suppose it would be really easy to find a way to take Emmett out of the picture but I'm not going to do that. The writing may very well evolve to that point though-I'm not saying I wouldn't do it if it made sense for the story. But I'm going to try very hard not to do that. I want and believe this odd relationship can work. If it truly bothers you then you can stop reading right now. That's your prerogative...but this is my story :P
> 
> Author's note II: I believe you've all been waiting for this chapter :)

Bella slowly opened her eyes the next morning, but refrained from leaving her bed. Everything was going to be all right, she told herself. The stirring within her was not a bad sign. She was not seconds away from a meltdown. She was not struggling to keep her emotions in check. And she was definitely not falling for Rosalie. But it was not all right. The coils within her were tightening painfully, and she had to count backwards from a 1000 to maintain a semblance of control. Because Bella's emotions at that moment were in upheaval. And it was all because of Rosalie.

Bella wasn't so foolish as to think she'd been in love with Rosalie from the moment she saw her. But the girl _had_ intrigued her that night they first met at the grocery store, enough for Bella to feel a twinge of disappointment when she found out she was taken the next day. It was a very small twinge though, and it was quickly covered up with confusion at the girl's hostile behavior towards her, then with relief and cautious optimism when Rosalie suddenly didn't act like she wanted to skin her alive. Her relationships with all of the Cullens, save for Edward of course, had blossomed over the weeks. But lately, something had changed when it came to Rosalie. Bella found herself starting to respond to Rosalie's soft voice and smiles in a manner that befuddled and highly embarrassed her.

What Bella knew about attraction and relationships, much like everything else having to do with people, came mostly from books and distant memories. She knew what the lingering looks and physical contact from Rosalie did to her body, but she had no idea if these things actually meant somebody has feelings for you. Rosalie's behavior could very well be perfectly normal, and not have any significance attached to it.

But there _was_ one thing she knew without a doubt, and that was Rosalie was crazy about Emmett, and Emmett was crazy about Rosalie. Just thinking Emmett's name brought about a fresh wave of pain, but as terrible as it felt, the guilt quickly surpassed it. Emmett was her best friend. Of all the Cullens, he had been the quickest to welcome her into their family. He was the reason she loosened up so fast and accepted, then returned their love. He was her most vocal defender in school. He was so many things...and she was in love with his girlfriend.

Bella screwed her eyes tightly and curled up in pain. This is bad, she thought. She was usually able to get through an episode like this without uttering a sound...but a few moments later she was unable to stop herself from releasing an anguished whimper. She had to get out. It was almost to the point of no return. This wasn't like the last few times. Those times it was slow, and took some time to build momentum, which allowed her the time to build her defence. What she was experiencing now was a freight train, and it wasn't going to stop. She bolted to the door and slammed it open...only to see Charlie bending down, about to slide her weekly allowance under the door before leaving for work. Oh no.

"Oh..hello," he said. "I was just..."

He paused, noting her disheveled appearance and tortured gaze.

"Are you...are you alright?" He asked slowly.

Bella had no idea how to respond. No, she was not alright. She wasn't even sure she could open her mouth right now. But she had reassured Charlie that she was in control. She promised him that what he feared most would never happen again. But here she was, two feet in front of her father and about to explode. Bella opened her mouth to speak, but quickly shut it again when she felt the power rise.

She forced herself to nod but her face betrayed her. Charlie cocked his head, staring at her for a few agonizing seconds before a look of dawning comprehension, shock and fear appeared on his face, which were just as quickly replaced with fierce anger. A split second later, Bella's focus shifted, because now the barrel of Charlie's gun was inches from her face.

* * *

Bella stopped breathing. She stared at the gun, too shocked to blink or move a muscle. Even the monster stopped accelerating.

She looked up at her father, and what she saw broke her heart into a thousand pieces. Charlie's face bore none of the emotion she saw seconds ago. Charlie's face bore nothing at all. He was blank. Focused. His police instincts in full force. This was not a father about to shoot his daughter. This was a police officer with a mass murderer in his sights.

Bella forced herself to blink. She forced herself to take a shallow, shaky breath. And, grateful for the burst of adrenaline she could feel building within her, she bolted in the direction of the woods as fast as the wind could carry her...faster than Charlie, or any other human could react.

Behind her, two gunshots echoed.

* * *

Bella ran faster than she had run in a long, long time. She begged the wind to help her and it complied, carrying her at unimaginable speeds through the forest. Twigs and branches snagged at her, scratching her bloody but she didn't care. She needed to put as much distance as she could between her father and herself. She ran and ran, screaming at the monster to wait just a few more seconds. Just a few more miles. When her peripheral vision started to glow a deep red she knew she could run no further. She found a small clearing and stopped, praying that nobody was around because if there was, it was too late to save them.

She closed her eyes and stood absolutely still. She was on autopilot now, going through a script she'd run through hundreds of times.

She took in a deep lungful of air, and counted out loud in a shaky voice.

"One...two...three...four...five."

When she opened her eyes, she saw red.

Immediately, the line of trees that were in her direct line of sight exploded. Not satisfied, Bella, who was now completely consumed by the monster, shifted her gaze and watched with glee as everything around her burst into flame. The grass, the trees, and any living thing within a mile of Bella was overcome with fire that burned far hotter than a normal blaze. Seconds after combusting, the flames grew so hot that whatever they touched literally started to incinerate to ashes. But it wasn't enough. She needed more. She grinned a terrible grin as she felt her power reach further. The more she destroyed, the better she felt, until finally the monster was satisfied and ceded control back to Bella. The flames receded, and then died down.

Five square miles of the forest were obliterated. Dead center in the middle of all the destruction, Bella stood, taking stock of her surroundings. Whereas seconds ago, the devastation left her with a sense of triumph, now she felt only regret and loss. Please god, she begged, please let no one be dead. That was her usual first thought after she awakened from the nightmare. She silently pleaded, over and over, too terrified to think of anything else. Then she remembered the events that had conspired before she found herself in these woods, and she dropped to her knees. The terror of what happened out here suddenly paled in comparison to what had happened with her father.

Charlie was prepared to kill her, she realized. She was such a fool. Bella really had thought that if enough time had passed, if he could just get used to her being around then he'd finally forgive her. But it didn't look like that would ever happen. Charlie's words to her from her first night with him rang clear in her mind. He would never forgive her. He would never see past what she had done. When he looked at her he didn't see Bella, his daughter the he once loved. He only saw a demon and a murderer. Even seven years ago, against the backdrop of the smouldering ruins of his neighborhood and his beloved wife, the demon blinded him to the scared, helpless girl who begged him for help.

Bella's hands reached down and tightened around fistfuls of ash as she broke down. As long as she had held her emotions at bay, that was how powerfully her sobs pushed through until they finally ripped out of her. She gasped uncontrollably as she wept for herself, for her mother, even for her father. No matter how cruel he'd become, she couldn't let herself forget that it was her doing, her existence that had caused him to detest her. She wept, knowing that despite what happened she would return to him anyway. If it was her fate to die at his hands...well it would be a fitting death.

She wept as she thought about the only family she had now. If they knew...if they saw this...She sobbed even harder when Rosalie's face swam into view. Bella didn't have a right to her feelings. She didn't deserve her. She didn't deserve any of the happiness she'd felt over the last weeks. Bella slammed her fists hard into the ground trying to bring about some pain, as if by feeling more physical torment she could obstruct the warm joy that Esme and Carlisle, Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie had made her feel. It worked, for a second. Bella slammed her fists harder, pounded her chest and her arms, smashed her head to the ground and screamed a terrible, tortured scream as she sobbed harder and harder.

She lay there like that for nearly an hour, finally too spent to move. Eventually, the feelings returned to her muscles and she forced herself to rise. As she trudged back home she reflected on the two decisions she had made in the clearing. She was going to ignore her feelings for Rosalie. She cared too much for Emmett to break his heart. She loved him dearly, and while she couldn't control the way she felt, she could control her actions. Bella would not come between any of the Cullens...she would not cause them any pain.

It might not even matter, she thought passively, considering her second decision. Because if Bella had to face Charlie's gun again, she would not run. She would stand her ground, and hope that when the bullet made contact, the monster would die along with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive criticism, comments, ideas, etc are always welcome. Thanks!


	22. Fallout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

Earlier that day:

"I wish I could remember being human," Alice pouted.

"Believe me darling, you're not missing much," laughed Jasper. He sped up a bit to keep even with his wife.

"Yes I am! You were just reminiscing about the some strange flower you came across during a march!" She said, sadly, referring to his days in the Confederate army.

"Darling, you and I have seen every wildflower variety in this country!" He laughed again.

"Yes, but I can't compare them to how they looked from human eyes!" She said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Jasper shook his head and smiled warmly at his wife's antics. He understood emotions better than anyone, but he still found himself in awe of the things Alice made him feel. How one person could so utterly grab hold of him, and make it possible for him to think fondly of his life, even the parts he used to want to forget, he really did not know. Jasper was about to playfully pounce on his wife when he felt something and tripped.

"Jazz?" Alice was concerned. And confused. Tripping was something humans did, or so she was told, not vampires.

She made her way towards him, but the expression on his face made her feel something she had not felt in a long time...Alice was scared.

Jasper felt...like nothing he'd ever experienced. The pain that was wracking through his mind and body, through his very soul, had him writhing on the ground and gasping for unnecessary air. He couldn't move. He couldn't think. If his heart functioned he was sure it would've stopped. It wasn't possible for anyone to feel like this. If emotions could kill, this was a textbook example. He continued to shake while Alice stood over him horrified.

Then the pain stopped...its sudden absence just as disconcerting as its initial appearance. He slowly got up, his body obviously none the worse for wear, though of course his mind and emotions were something else entirely.

But then something more terrible than the pain, though he wouldn't have believed it to be possible if he wasn't staring right it, happened. Directly in front of them, Alice and Jasper were greeted by the only sight in the world that could have a vampire running in fear: a great wall of roaring flames was coming towards them. It was big...and it was moving fast!

"Oh my god," Alice cried out.

"Run!" He yelled.

* * *

In his 300 years of existence, Carlisle had never received a message quite like this one. He had scarcely time to think about what Alice had just rambled to him on the phone when Edward appeared, having heard everything in his own thoughts.

"What can it be?" Edward asked. "It's not naturally occurring, that's clear."

"No," Carlisle responded. "Alice's description does not indicate it to be so."

"This is dangerous," Edward hissed. "What are the odds that something like that-something that can kill all of us might I add-happens only thirty miles from here? Right on top of Alice and Jasper?!"

Even without vampire ears, they probably still would've heard the angry hiss from upstairs.

"Edward, stop looking for any excuse to tuck tail and run!" Rosalie shouted from her room. "We're not going anywhere."

Edward snarled, and Carlisle could only sigh. The last 18 hours had been fraught with tension and at times, open hostility between Edward and Rosalie. Edward was convinced that the family was heading for deep trouble where Bella was concerned. Carlisle knew most of his son's anxiety had more to do with his inability to see into Bella's mind. It was understandable, Carlisle mused, for him to view Bella as a threat, though the idea of a human posing a threat to a vampire still made Carlisle and Esme chuckle behind their closed doors.

Edward glared at him, and he shrugged unabashedly. Oops.

Carlisle masked his thoughts once again, this time thinking of the hours that had dragged from the moment Rosalie and Emmett came back from their outing with Bella last night.

"You're going to do WHAT?!" Edward had screamed when he detected the pair's thoughts.

"Do contain yourself, Edward," Alice glided down the stairs with Jasper in tow. "At least let them explain."

"Explain what?!" He continued to shout, much to Alice's annoyance. "How they're going to be one big happy family? How Emmett is willing to share his wife with another goddamn woman? A human?!"

Carlisle couldn't deny the shock he had felt, but one look at the dawning understanding on Esme's face and he knew that he hadn't been observant enough the last few weeks. Esme would fill him in later on the attraction that had been building between Rosalie and Bella, the torment that attraction had caused in Rosalie, and Emmett's apparent awareness and blessing from the very start. When she finished talking, Carlisle nearly had a headache from the day-by-day analysis his wife had given him. He couldn't believe he missed all of that.

He wasn't _entirely_ unobservant however. He knew his eldest son longer, and better than anyone save for Esme. Edward's near-violent reactions to their relationships with Bella, and now Rosalie's desire to mate with her, were indicative of something else that he believed his son felt, but would never admit. Edward was the sole member of their family without a mate. Before Edward exiled himself in Denali, Carlisle suspected that his blood lust for Bella had a sexual component. Whatever may have happened if he had stayed was out of the possibility now...but Carlisle suspected that if Edward had stayed and managed to overcome his lust for Bella's blood, it would be he that might be considering her for a mate.

Now that Carlisle understood the extent of Rosalie's relationship with Bella and the imminent possibilities, he strongly suspected that it was this lost chance at a mate that fueled Edward's hostility towards his sister.

Who would have predicted that in a few short weeks, a human would have this much of an impact on his family? Bella was an enigma. She was the only human in all of Carlisle's existence that displayed absolutely no hesitation or fear with vampires. Most humans had good instincts with regard to predators like vampires. Even in his work, Carlisle's patients often shook with agitation when in his care, itching to leave his presence though of course they had no idea why. Bella, though, calmly and willingly walked into the vampire's den almost every day since she'd arrived in Forks. She had formed unheard-of bonds with his wife and children, and even with himself. Carlisle had always enjoyed the company of humans, but they had never reciprocated...until Bella. They had spent hours together in his library, she listening to anything he chose to share, and he watching her attack his books with glee.

Her intellect was astounding. But it was her apparent gift that kept her constantly in his thoughts since yesterday. Carlisle knew that Bella's gift was extraordinarily powerful. No one, human or vampire, had ever been able to block Edward before. Yet she was able to do it without even knowing it. And that this power affected Alice's abilities as well? Carlisle itched to inquire with the girl about her mind, but of course he could do no such thing. Much to his surprise, he once again found himself wishing Bella could join their family. He felt terrible when that thought crossed his mind the first time, and had been afraid to share it with his wife. But when he did, Esme gave him a sad look and agreed, admitting to having similar thoughts herself.

"That man is no good," she said, referring to Bella's negligent father.

That was another thing Carlisle could not understand. He had known and respected Chief Swan for a couple of years. He was Carlisle's biggest supporter in the city's government, and had, on more than one occasion, vocally defended his character and medical expertise to close-minded people in town. Yet the man was treating his only daughter with a terrible rancor. He was as shocked as the rest of them to learn of Bella's living situation, and, like each of them had done at one point, went to see the shed for himself and confirmed what he could not at first believe. He had seen the man at work a few times since, and Carlisle had tried to subtly drop some hints about his kids being in high school, waiting for the Chief to say he had a daughter. He got nothing, further fueling Carlisle's disbelief and fascination for Bella.

Now, however, Carlisle could only give his son a meaningful look. He left his mind unguarded for Edward to hear. Try to keep an open mind, Edward. Your sister would do the same for you if things were reversed, he silently begged his son.

Edward swallowed what was most likely a poisonous remark meant to agitate his already agitated sister. He growled, but stayed silent, thank god.

"We should see this...thing for ourselves before any decisions are made. Alice said the fires have long gone out. Would you like to come with me, Edward?" Carlisle asked, extending an olive branch.

Edward only nodded, then the intense, cold look returned to his eyes and a moment later, Carlisle understood why. Rosalie had appeared at the bottom of the stairs, her face a perfect stony mask.

"Ah, you'll be coming as well?" He said, groaning inwardly. He didn't think any of them would be singing Kumbaya on this trip. "Excellent."

* * *

Alice was the best of the Cullens at hiding her thoughts from Edward, which was why Jasper disappeared when his senses picked the boy up along with Carlisle and Rosalie. No need to get him even more riled up.

Alice met them a mile away from the devastation. As she recited Mozart's complete works silently, she explained, almost exactly, what had happened earlier. When they neared the site, she switched to Beethoven and avoided Edward's suspicious gaze.

"And then we saw this," she said, pointing ahead.

Carlisle, Edward, and Rosalie gasped, echoing her and Jasper's discovery earlier. This part of the forest was...gone. They had seen countless forest fires before but this was unlike anything they could comprehend. At the edge of the battlefield (a rough circular field, they all noted with confusion) there were some standing trees, charred completely black. But a 100 or so yards into the epicenter there was...absolutely nothing. No trees, no grass, not one living thing. As impossible as it seemed, everything was now a massive pile of ash.

Alice looked at Carlisle, as did Edward and Rosalie, and what they saw did not reassure them. Carlisle stood in awe, completely taken aback and, unfortunately, as lost as they were. Well, most of them. Alice needed to get Rosalie out of Edward's range. Her nimble mind moved on to list the works of Schubert, Chopin and Bach.

"Do you think it could be a bomb?" Alice asked. "I've never actually seen their effects, obviously, but..."

Alice of course didn't really think this was the work of a bomb, but she had "tested" this little theory earlier and saw that it would stick.

"Hmm," Carlisle said, suddenly thoughtful. "Yes, I've heard many accounts of their devastation. This does look like what I'd expect, though if I had to guess I'd say a firebomb...they're quieter...using an incredibly effective incendiary."

The rest of them grew uncomfortable, even Alice. They didn't like discussing so cavalierly things that could instantly end their existence.

"I thought," Edward said quietly, "this thing was moving towards you too fast?"

Alice had to be very careful now. She couldn't make a mistake.

"Yea..." She said sheepishly. "Sorry about that. The wall of flames startled me pretty badly. It was moving fast, but nothing out of the ordinary."

She finished off her performance by visualizing a carefully choreographed "memory" of what had happened, and lifted her crude protections on her mind to allow Edward to see it.

"Hmph," he said. "I'm going home."

Alice sighed in relief when he was finally gone. Rosalie gave her a funny look, but she shook her head and signaled for her to stay with her.

"Will you join us?" Carlisle asked her.

"Not for a while," Alice said excitedly. "I have to show Rosalie this new design label I just saw in Port Angeles. Rose, you'll love it!"

Carlisle nodded. "Very well," he said. "Enjoy yourselves, ladies. Oh, and Rose?"

"Yes?" She asked. Alice turned away, knowing already what would be said.

"I hope things work out the way you want them to with Bella," Carlisle said gently. "Don't let Edward get to you. She's a wonderful girl and you deserve each other."

Rosalie smiled. "Thank you, Carlisle."

He nodded and left. Rosalie turned to Alice then, suspicion written all over her face.

"All right, what the hell is going on?" She asked. "You were lying the whole time!"

"Yes, yes," Alice admitted. "But you better 'believe me' when you're around Edward."

"What's going on, Alice?" Rosalie asked again.

Alice sighed and gave her a funny look. "It's Bella."

Instantly, Rosalie's face turned to ash. "Did something happen? Is she alright?"

"She's ok...Jasper went to check on her, and if anything was amiss he would've called or come back by now."

"Why is he checking on her?" Rosalie demanded. "Alice, stop stalling and tell me everything goddamn it!"

Alice took a deep breath, and checked one more time that no ears were in the vicinity that could hear. "There's something about this place...we came back when we realized the fire had gone out. When we were running, I kept trying to see what would happen. I tried to see us coming back, tried to spot any potential danger. Only...I couldn't see anything. Or, rather, I couldn't see anything beyond this very thick fog."

"Bella!" Rosalie gasped, aware of the strange effect Bella had on Alice's visions.

"Yeah," Alice said. "I tried to fight through it but nothing showed up. When we did get back, the place was as empty as it is now."

There was silence for a few minutes. Then Alice added, "I figured Edward would try to use this to convince the family to leave. That's why I didn't want him to suspect that Bella might have something to do with this. Though...what the connection is...I can't imagine."

"Thank you for that," Rosalie said quietly. "He won't hear anything from me."

Alice nodded, then suddenly looked quite exhausted. "I'm going hunting," she said. "Jasper's going to meet me as soon as you get there."

"Uh, get where?" Rosalie asked.

Alice gave her a skeptical look. "Bella?" She said, slowly. "Your future mate? You need to start wooing her!" She changed her tone and got much quieter. "Jasper says she's in terrible pain, Rose. I don't know what's wrong, but I don't like that she's hurting so much. Please make her feel better."

Alice noted the pained look on Rosalie's face. Edward's an idiot, she thought. He thinks what Rosalie felt was nothing more than sexual. Fool.

Rosalie nodded. "Thanks, Alice."

Alice turned to run closer to their house, to her usual hunting ground. "Oh, and we'll let Emmett know. Stay as long as you like! I'll try not to peek..." She pouted, then grinned slyly at Rosalie's glare.

Alice and Rosalie both parted, not before each of them gave the burnt out forest one final look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know diddly squat about bombs or firebombs or any of that. Hopefully, knowledgeable people who are reading this, you'll forgive my lack of research. As always, I await your thoughts and constructive criticism! So lovely to wake up to that...best start to my day!
> 
> FYI, I have to work a little late today (2/5) and then I have to be at the gym. I'll do my best to get the next chapter up tonight, but if it's not up by 2 am Eastern time you'll have to wait till tomorrow. Sorry, but sleep is kind of important :)


	23. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Rosalie found Jasper on a treetop between Bella's shed and her father's house. One look at him and she knew something was off. Jasper's face was...vindictive. Rosalie knew deep down that Jasper would never consciously harm Bella, but her protective feelings for the girl took over anyway.

"What are you doing?" She hissed at him.

Jasper shook his head. "Nothing to Bella," he said. "Her father on the other hand..."

He growled, pointing at the house. Through the living room windows Rosalie could see Chief Swan doubled over, sobbing.

"He needed an attitude adjustment," Jasper replied to Rosalie's quizzical stare. "I'm providing it."

Rosalie raised an eyebrow at that. Jasper rarely used his gift so actively. She sometimes forgot that he could do far more to someone than calm them down. She glanced again in Chief Swan's direction and winced at the tortured expression on his face.

"Don't worry," he said. "He won't turn suicidal. Just repentant."

"What did he do?" Rosalie asked slowly.

Jasper paused and braced himself. He might have to restrain Rosalie.

"He looked like he was going to shoot Bella," he said.

"WHAT?!"

As he predicted, Rosalie immediately lunged towards the house and he had to knock her to the ground before she could murder the man.

"Stop it! Bella will hear," he hissed. "I said it looked like it. He didn't actually _do_ anything. When I got here, Bella was in her shed and Charlie was where he is now, staring out the window."

Rosalie struggled some more, then finally relaxed. "All right! Get off of me. I'm fine," she insisted.

He released her and watched her carefully as she dusted herself off, glaring at him. Jasper stared back blankly, still linked to the man inside.

"What exactly happened" She asked reluctantly.

"It wasn't anything he actually did. It was the way he felt," he said. "He was full of anger, hatred, fear... He loathes Bella. And then I sensed a determination coming from him. And a resolve. I had already made sure Bella was ok, so I got a little closer to the house to see what was going on. And that's when I saw...Charlie's hand on his gun. He was holding his gun, while feeling all those things, and he was thinking about Bella."

Jasper was shaking now as he recounted what had led him to his intervention. Inside the house, Charlie fell to the floor and sobbed louder.

"That's when I stepped in," he said and finally looked up at Rosalie's face, and recoiled.

If Rosalie was the empath instead of him, he doubted she would have felt any remorse as she forced Charlie through the most sadistic torture imaginable. Be that it may, her natural ruthlessness began to affect him, and through him the suffering man in the house, and Jasper knew he had to stop before he lost control. Charlie was indeed fortunate that Rosalie lacked his gift, he thought.

They stood like that for a few minutes. Inside, Charlie's sniveling winded down at last.

"How is she?" Rosalie asked, her eyes finally a dark honey instead of the pitch black they were before.

"I'm...not sure," Jasper's shoulder slumped. Sustaining the power it took to bring down a poised man like Charlie had taken a toll on him, but his look of defeat now had nothing to do with the exhaustion setting in. "Her emotions keep changing...but no matter what she feels, be it guilt or remorse, she's hurting something awful. It's...it's too painful for me to bear," he said, guiltily.

Jasper could feel Rosalie's heart break, and he winced at the intensity of her feelings of helplessness. He put an arm around her shoulders and tried to take away some of her pain.

"I know," he said, sadly. "I feel it too. I don't know what's happening to her, or why she was out in the woods today, but please find a way to make her see how much she means to all of us...how much we all love her."

Rosalie nodded, and gave him a tight hug. He felt the waves of gratitude and love for him, which he returned in kind. That was another effect Bella seemed to have on them. He didn't know how she did it, but their mutual love for her had somehow strengthened their bonds with each other. Jasper felt it everyday...whenever Rosalie or Emmett glanced at Esme as she mentored Bella in her craft...When Carlisle walked past Alice's room as she impatiently taught the girl how to use an eyelash curler...when he himself shed his inhibitions and joined Emmett and Bella on the roof...it was like each of them loved one another more...simply for loving and caring for Bella.

Edward better get his act together, he mused.

With a final nod, Rosalie made her way to the shed. Jasper knew he needed to go hunting soon, and he turned to run back to his wife. Before he could race off though, he felt an outburst of joy and love. He looked back and smiled-Bella was at the door.

Jasper grinned, and he let the glow of Bella's and Rosalie's love for one another fuel his return home.

* * *

"Hello!" Rosalie exclaimed with a smile before Bella could say anything.

Bella just stood there, dumbfounded, and tried very hard not to do what everything in her body was screaming at her to do, which was to reach up and kiss her.

She's Emmett's girlfriend. She's Emmett's girlfriend, she screamed back at her body.

"Hi," Bella responded, and with a questioning glance at the beauty (gulp) in front of her asked, "what's up?"

Rosalie cocked her head and half-smiled, making Bella swoon even more. "Are you going to invite me in?"

"Oh, yeah. Of course," Bella stumbled, and for the first time wished she had a nicer home to show her guest.

Rosalie's eyes didn't linger on any particular area of her sparse home, and Bella wondered about that until she realized Rosalie had been here before. With a blush she recalled that it was Rosalie who helped her out of her dress before putting her to bed last night. Oh god, she silently moaned.

Pull yourself together! She mentally slapped herself. It was lucky she was so drained from her earlier explosion. She was terrified to think of the damage her rocky emotions could've done right now otherwise.

Rosalie suddenly looked very concerned, and Bella's heart pounded in her chest when she felt cool hands caressing her cheeks, Rosalie's eyes wandering over the scratches that criss-crossed her face.

"What happened?" Rosalie asked.

"Huh," Bella tried to remember how to speak. All she could comprehend at the moment were the hands touching her skin and the golden eyes in front of her.

"Uh," she finally managed to say, "I was running...in the woods. Got a little careless with the trees."

Rosalie suddenly furrowed her eyebrows. "You were out there today? You saw the fire then?"

Bella's thundering heart skipped a beat. How did she...?

"Alice and Jasper were in the woods near the area," Rosalie answered her silent question. "They told us about the fire."

Alice and Jasper...Alice and Jasper...they were there...Bella felt the terror coursing through her. Alice and Jasper were there. They could've been killed. She...she could've killed two of her best friends today. She was unable to completely mask her emotions from Rosalie.

"They're alright!" Rosalie added. "Really, they weren't close enough to be in any danger. You on the other hand..." She quieted, looking at the numerous shallow cuts on her face and neck. "You must have been really close to run that hard. Bella, what were you doing out there by yourself? You could've been killed."

Bella taught herself how to breathe all over again. She obviously couldn't tell Rosalie the truth-that fire never had, and never could hurt her-but she didn't want to lie too much to her either. There had been a few outright lies that were unavoidable in her relationship with the Cullens (her living with an aunt for the last seven years being the most glaring fib), but when she could, Bella tried hard to be as honest as possible with them. It was the least she could do, after all they did open their lives and home to her.

So Bella tried to come up with a way to be truthful, but not so truthful that she would expose herself.

She sighed and sat down on her gnarly couch. "I went out there to blow off some steam," she said, trying to think of how she could elaborate on that one.

Rosalie did not look satisfied. "You walked ten miles into wild country...without telling anyone, without a cellphone...so you could blow off some steam?"

Rosalie sat down uncomfortably close next to her and reached for her hand. Bella closed her eyes, enjoying the cool touch before she snapped out of it (she's Emmett's girlfriend!).

"Bella," she said softly. "What happened?"

Bella could look into her eyes forever, she thought to herself. She had already memorized the differences between each of the Cullens' eyes, and she found herself following each fleck, each nuance of Rosalie's golden irises.

She blinked. "Charlie..."

She thought she saw a hard glint in Rosalie's eyes, but she reverted to her previous soft look and Bella dismissed the thought.

Bella prayed she could get through this. She couldn't think of anything that would explain a ten mile trek, so she could only hope Rosalie would be satisfied with her brief explanation.

She continued, "We got into an argument. I was upset so...I took a walk."

Were it Emmett or Alice, that explanation would've been met with countless questions. But Rosalie had a knack for knowing how far to push Bella, and she thankfully didn't ask her for any further elaboration.

Rosalie sighed. "You know, someday I'm probably going to snap and punch your father."

Bella smiled at that, enjoying the image. Rosalie smiled back, then sat back a little more on the couch. Bella noticed her distaste and felt terrible knowing how uncomfortable the thing was if you weren't used to it.

"Sorry," she apologized, "Even I hardly ever sit here. The bed's much more comfortable."

Bella realized what she'd said the second she finished saying it. Oh god, she groaned. Did she just invite Rosalie (Emmett's girlfriend, she reminded herself) to her bed? Don't blush! It was an innocent remark! Blush and she'll know what you're thinking!

Rosalie just smiled softly. "All right, you're the boss."

Say what? Before she could dwell on it, Bella led her upstairs. By the time Rosalie landed on the floor, Bella thought her blush had diminished enough so she could face her. They quickly tidied the unmade bed and, facing the window, sat together against Bella's headboard with their feet out. So comfortable, she thought. The bed _was_ more pleasant, certainly, than the lumpy couch, but Bella's current tranquility had more to do with Rosalie's body squished next to her than with any mattress or soft pillow. Bella silently thanked Charlie for the twin bed.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, and Bella marveled that she could enjoy someone's company so much that even words were unnecessary.

"Where did you learn to play?" Rosalie asked, referring to the piano.

Bella smiled. "I had lessons when I was little. In Pennsylvania, there were a lot of libraries where I lived and I liked to bike to different ones. Most of them had a piano somewhere."

"Bella, you do realize how amazing you were last night, don't you?" Rosalie said. "You could be a master pianist in any symphony in the world."

She blushed at that. She knew she was good, but hearing Rosalie say so made her feel a little light-headed.

"Tell me more about your childhood. About growing up," Rosalie said.

Bella paused, not sure how go about this. Be as honest as you can, she reminded herself.

So Bella talked about what she could remember from her early years. She told her about her mother and her antics. She talked about how her father had tried and failed to instill in her a love for sports, and had insisted on taking her to numerous games and teaching her to play. She loved the attention and spending time with him, but she failed to develop his crazy obsession for moving balls and sweaty players. She told her that it was her mother who encouraged her to take piano lessons, and had been the one to support her passion for it. Renée was artsy and creative, while Charlie was always a serious man of few words.

Bella went on, and Rosalie listened. She told her about her biking through the East coast when she was younger (stretching the truth a little of course-she had biked and walked up and down the coast, just not for a summer adventure as she told her) and the small towns where she'd stopped. She told her about the journey to Forks, mentally calculating a normal amount of time that it would've presumably taken her to get from PA to Washington.

They talked for hours. Little by little Bella felt herself get physically closer to the blonde, so that not just their shoulders and arms, but their hips and legs were touching too. By the time Bella started to get drowsy she had grown comfortable enough with the close proximity that she no longer blushed every time she felt Rosalie move. It didn't stop her body from tingling from her touch, she mentally noted. The last thought that went through her head before she drifted to sleep was how much she would love if Rosalie stayed with her through the night...

* * *

Rosalie felt her nodding off and held still the way only a vampire can. She was thankful that she'd gone hunting with Emmett that morning, otherwise she never would've been able to stand being this close to Bella for so long. Bella was...alluring, she thought as she gently inhaled her intoxicating scent. Before she had gotten close to the girl, her scent made her angry. As they became better friends, she was weary at first, then gradually learned to ignore the scent the closer they got. Now that she had finally acknowledged her romantic feelings, Bella's scent drove her wild...not a bloodthirsty gotta-bite-her wild like Edward...it was a wild that made her want to do far more to the girl.

Rosalie slowly stretched one arm and encircled Bella as they both plunged lower into the bed. She relaxed and basked in Bella's warmth, her face in the crook of her neck. Bella sleepily snuggled further into her side, and it was Rosalie's turn to tingle in excitement when she felt her arm and leg drape over her. Bella fit there perfectly...She closed her eyes in contentment. This was heaven.

For the first time in her life, Rosalie was grateful she was a vampire. She never would have found Bella otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Things will pick up starting next chapter, O impatient readers. In the meantime, talk to me!


	24. Awaken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

It was still dark out when Bella regained consciousness. The pillow she was using was oddly cold, but soft and comfortable as hell. She stretched a little and pulled her pillow closer, sighing as her head fell into a particularly soft bit. Suddenly she felt her pillow move, and Bella froze.

She was lying on top of Rosalie, not some pillow. Her heart thumped in her chest as her eyes adjusted to the dark and saw that her arms and legs were wrapped around the blonde, and her head happened to be resting on her breasts. Oh my god.

Rosalie didn't seem to have felt Bella's panic...she continued on in her slumber, softly breathing in and out...the motion that had alerted Bella to her presence. For an agonizing minute, Bella wondered what to do. Should she wake her? Sleep on the couch? All the while, Bella couldn't take her eyes off of her. The soft moonlight bathed her face, and Bella could've sworn her skin was shimmering a little. So beautiful, she thought.

In the end Bella drew on all her bravery and stayed put. She gingerly lay back down in Rosalie's arms, closed her eyes, and relished what would probably be the only time she'd ever feel this nirvana.

She awoke once more a few hours later to the irritating "beep beep" of her watch. The first thing she noticed was Rosalie's absence. The second thing she noticed was a short note by her bed, 'Sorry I fell asleep! Went home to get ready for school. See you later!' She got up, wishing she could hold on to the feeling of Rosalie by her side forever, and started her day.

As she biked past Charlie's cruiser she briefly wondered at the lack of contact with the man after yesterday's confrontation. If she was perfectly honest with herself, when the property came into view after her run home yesterday, she was mentally prepared for death. She thought Charlie would've seen the smoke from the fire for sure and that it would have triggered a similar or worse reaction in him than what prompted him to pull out his gun on her. She had stared at the bullets lodged in her wall for a long time yesterday, going through a series of terrible emotions that only stopped when Rosalie knocked on her door.

Rosalie...the sight of her was like a miracle cure. One look at her was enough to remind Bella of what she'd miss if she died. One look was enough for her to beg the gods for a second chance. She wanted to live...badly. If all she got out of it was the chance to see Rosalie every day, then living, as difficult and dangerous as it was, was worth it. The hours of conversation with her yesterday were like a dream. How else to explain the ecstasy that merely sitting next to Rosalie brought in her? Even now, simply recalling the night with the girl made Bella's skin buzz with electricity. She pedaled faster, the euphoria that was flooding her veins providing fuel for her body.

But she couldn't stay happy for long. Invariably, as she pictured Rosalie's moonlit face, another masculine, dimpled, and forever cheerful face joined hers. She loved Emmett. He didn't deserve this. He was a good, kind and loving person who had been like a brother to Bella from the very beginning. She knew she had to stop thinking about his girlfriend this way...stop fantasizing about her...but how do you stop a heart from beating? How on earth was she to stop her body from automatically curling up into Rosalie's whenever she sat next to her, which was often? 'You're not trying very hard though,' she thought, thinking of last night. She could've stayed on the couch. She could've woken Rosalie up. She could've, she should've...

She was weak-willed yesterday, she told herself. Rosalie had come at Bella's lowest since her first days in Forks. Yes, Bella had clung to Rosalie last night the same way she had clung to Esme the night they met. 'You didn't sleep on top of Esme, though...'

She growled at herself. It was a new day. She wasn't dead by infanticide. The fiery monster was released and no danger today. And though a very different fire was raging through her these days, surely this one will be easier to contain. Right?

* * *

"Love, I don't think Carlisle and Esme would be too pleased with that," Emmett chuckled. His answer was in response to Rosalie's casual inquiry: what would happen if they scattered pieces of Edward's body through the Pacific? It wasn't a permanent death, she reasoned. But a few decades inside an orca might teach him some humility and an appreciation for life.

"Hmph," Rosalie said. "You don't know that...I'll ask Alice later..."

Emmett just rolled his eyes and smiled. Rosalie had come back this morning glowing and it had nothing to do with the brief exposure to sunlight at dawn. Even though he knew nothing serious had actually happened between her and Bella (he was sure Alice wouldn't have been able to contain her squeals if it had) he still marveled at the effect Bella had on his wife. When she walked into their bedroom, she had greeted him with a passionate kiss that had him reeling. They made love all morning. They've always been more passionate than the average vampire couple (which was saying something) so it wasn't like that morning had broken a dry spell or anything. But the fervor with which Rosalie drove down into his thrusts...and the way she looked at him all the while...needless to say, he was a very happy man that day.

Even Edward couldn't spoil it for him. All night, Edward had pressed on with the jokes and the scorn. Emmett was not a simpleton-he knew most conventional people would consider him a foolish cuckold, deserving of every derisive smackdown that Edward had thrown at him. But Emmett was a man who was far more comfortable with himself, his manhood, and his relationship with his wife than most...certainly more than his mopey brother. Edward's comments did not stick. And after this morning, they bounced right off of him.

"Just try to keep from chopping his head off for a few hours," he said as they rolled to a stop at the school parking lot. "The humans would most certainly notice."

"Hmph," she said again. But she composed herself as only she could. If only Edward would've left them alone...

"There's the happy couple!" Edward drawled as he exited his Volvo. Emmett groaned as he wondered which was the best spot to slam down his fist.

"You can't act like a man so you think bashing my car will make up for it?" Edward said. "Nice."

"That's quite enough, Edward," Jasper warned. Jasper, though he wasn't the target, had borne a lot of abuse last night. Edward's emotions affected him so much that by daybreak he and Alice retreated a few miles away into the woods just to avoid Edward's poisonous emotions. Poor Jasper looked like hell. He took one look at Edward, then kissed his wife and ran inside the school. He just couldn't take it anymore.

"When are you going to get it?!" Edward exclaimed, though still too fast and quiet for the humans to hear. "This girl is going to be the end of us! We're _vampires_. She's _human_. One of these days one of us is going to slip. One of these days the Volturi will ask us why in fuck's name a human knows about our existence, and we'll all burn for it! You had to pick the one bitch in the universe who can block me?!"

Rosalie growled. Alice held her back.

"Disrespect her again," Emmett said slowly, "and I will pummel every car you own, from now through eternity, into a toaster sized hunk of steel. You got that?"

"You've all gone mad," Edward said softly. "How can you at least not be worried about her? Rosalie could've killed her last night. She was inches from her neck-I heard your thoughts!" He said, looking at Rosalie. "How would you feel then if you lost control? You've done it before! You know what it's like when the blood lust takes over, and you don't realize what's happening until your victim is drained and lifeless. Would you ever forgive yourself? Or Esme if she's the one? Or Jasper? Or your husband here? Would you be able to look at him...if what you feel for Bella is as real as you think it is...and your own husband is the one who lost control..."

"One way or another," he continued. "Bella will break up this family, and I will NOT stand by and watch that happen! Even if I have to get rid of her myself!"

That was so the wrong thing to say. Three pairs of low growls and murderous stares hit the boy.

"I have had it with you," Emmett said slowly. "None of us are going to hurt her. She's a daughter to Esme and Carlisle. She's my best friend and sister, and I know Alice and Jasper feel the same way. And as for my wife," he growled, "what we decide to do with our marriage is none of your goddamn business. I don't know, and I frankly don't care if Bella finds out about us someday. The hell with the Volturi and the hell with you. And," he leaned closer to Edward, towering over him, "if you lay a finger on Bella, Rosalie and I will spend all of our eternity making sure you never have another moment of peace. You got that brother?"

Edward glared daggers at him. Rosalie stood by Emmett and glared back. Alice ran through a few scenarios that could break through the chill in the air.

"Come on, Edward," she said. "Give her a chance. I saw her making an effort with you. She's going to try to befriend you tonight."

"Tonight?" Edward looked at her, then huffed at what he heard. "Dinner? We're going to have dinner with her? How in the name of all that is holy are we going to manage that?"

"With creative thinking I'm sure!" Alice smiled. "I've already seen it. It'll be fine. Bella won't notice a thing!"

Ever the diplomat, Alice took his arm and led her obstinate brother inside the school. Emmett and Rosalie followed, stopping only to wave to Bella who was locking up her bike.

"Come on Bella Bear!" Emmett grinned like a maniac. Bella smiled softly, and walked inside beside them.

* * *

**5 Minutes Earlier:**

When Bella made it to school she was a little annoyed. She wished she could run, really run. Her race through the woods yesterday was the fastest she'd run in a long time...but she knew she could go faster. Wind was unstoppable...She wondered if it had a speed limit.

If she was honest with herself, she'd admit she missed using her benign gift. She had relied on it so much during her exile. It if it wasn't for the wind, she would've had a much harder time sustaining herself...not to mention she may have broken a few bones from falling from trees. What she missed the most though, was listening to nature's symphony every night. There was so much that regular people missed, she mused in wonder. How can they claim to understand nature when they haven't even heard a fraction of the things Bella could hear when she asked the wind?

The Cullens' cars arrived at the parking lot a moment after she did. As she bent to lock her bike, she sensed something was wrong. The family, always jovial and united, looked anything but. She looked over the frame of her bike and saw Emmett and Rosalie glaring daggers at Edward. A moment later Alice and Jasper got out of their car, both looking just as weary. Jasper didn't linger outside for long, but the others stood in their places...whispering furiously to each other. Confused and concerned, Bella wished she could hear their conversation.

As if a genie were granting her wish, Bella suddenly could.

Her eyes widened in shock as she realized what was happening. The wind, much like it did with the sounds of nature, was delivering the whispered words her friends were exchanging straight to her ears. It didn't matter how fast or softly they were speaking. The wind slowed them down and intensified their voices so Bella could hear them as clear as a bell.

And she heard them. She heard every single word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Dun dun dun.


	25. Vampires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note I: Full disclosure...the dinner arrangement is 100% thanks to Princess Alexandria's Tossing Stone. I tried and tried, but alas could not think of a better way to explain how the Cullens could "eat" with Bella. Did I mention how awesome her fic is?
> 
> Author's note II: I'm so sorry I didn't get this up last night. I was actually nearly finished...on the last section, when I realized I was starting to write gibberish. I didn't want to screw up that last section so decided to bite the bullet and get some sleep.

Vampires.

Bella stared straight ahead as she walked to her first class alongside Alice. How she managed to get to her desk without colliding into anyone or anything on the way, Bella did not know.

Vampires. The word was flooding her brain. Vampires. Vampires!

By second period, Bella had managed to get her head in enough working order to think beyond that impossible word. But even with her lightning speed mind and perfect recall, it still took her the rest of the morning to piece together and analyze everything she'd heard.

The Cullens are vampires. That was the first and most obvious hurdle she needed to clear. The way Edward was talking...she didn't think it was a practical joke. He was dead serious, and his siblings were as well. Her mind added that classification to her mental files of the Cullens, and like looking at the same picture with a different lense, she immediately saw the signs that were in front of her all along. The strange eyes. The cool skin. The speed with which Rosalie had moved the first night she met her. The things the wind had tried to tell her the first time she met Emmett. All those times each of them had been able to find her in town as if she had a spotlight turned on her. And the most obvious sign of all-she had never seen them eat. Not once. Not ever. She tried and tried to think back, replaying every day she'd spent with them in her head, looking for just one example that would mean all of this was just her own insanity...but no. In the cafeteria, in their home, none of the Cullens ate.

As she got used to the idea of her adopted family living off of blood, her thoughts turned to Edward himself. She learned three things about Edward today. He hated her enough to want to kill her. He could read minds. Every mind but hers. She smiled smugly at that. Way to go brain! Stop it, she thought. Edward's concerns were no laughing matter. The boy seemed to think she posed a threat to his family...either she'd expose them by finding out their secret...or she'd expose them by becoming their victim. Some part of her knew she was supposed to be afraid right now, but Bella hadn't been living with a monster all these years for nothing. Granted, bloodthirsty vampires are a tad more frightening than any of the would-be muggers and sexual predators she'd encountered during her years alone. But how could she fear a hypothetical monster when she herself was one? Edward said they can easily lose control...that they wouldn't realize they were killing someone until it was too late. Hadn't she gone through the same thing herself? Only she doubted their body counts were as high as hers...

She felt a rumbling in her chest and instantly froze. Focus. Breathe.

No, she didn't fear the Cullens. She was wary of Edward, sure, but she wasn't exactly a vulnerable little red riding hood. She had better defenses than any other human they've probably encountered.

She tried to stop her mind from turning to the last significant bit of information she had gleaned, but it was no use-once set on a path, she couldn't just _not_ think.

Rosalie...

And Emmett. Husband and wife. The words filled her with a deep sadness and a terrible shame. They were married. They were married and in love, for who knows how long. It was bad enough before...now, the thought of potentially coming between this loving, married couple made her sick. But...Edward said Rosalie felt something too. Her memory never lied. He had asked Rosalie "if what she felt for Bella was as real as she thought..." What does that mean? Could Rosalie possibly have feelings for her? And Emmett knew?! It can't be, she thought. It just can't be.

"Miss Swan!"

Bella looked up. The teacher, Mr. Gilpin, and the whole class were staring at her. Jessica and Lauren were sniggering rather noticeably.

Bella swallowed, but kept her face blank. "Yes, sir?"

"I asked you a question, young lady. If you would rejoin us here on planet Earth, we're all waiting for your answer."

Question? She looked briefly at the clock-they were halfway through class and she hadn't taken in any of it. It wasn't like she missed anything-she'd already read every book that was and would ever be assigned in this class...probably read every book and dissertation the teacher had read in college too. But that wouldn't help her now, because for the life of her she had no idea what question Mr. Gilpin was referring to.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Gilpin," she said in what she hoped was an apologetic voice. "Would you please repeat the question?"

"No, Miss Swan I will not," he said curtly. "I will however, see you in detention."

Jessica and Lauren, and several others she noted, openly snickered again. She didn't miss the glares Alice and Jasper sent their way though, and she smiled in their direction, silently thanking them.

"Bells, is everything ok?" Jasper asked her after class finally ended.

"Yes, Jasper. Thank you," Bella replied, looking closely at him and trying to see the bloodthirsty monster he was supposed to be. She couldn't. She only saw the gentle, kind boy (man, she corrected herself...just how old were they?) she'd always known.

"I was just somewhere else, that's all," she reassured them.

"Hmm..." Alice had a faraway look in her eyes, then she brightened. "Would you like me to get in trouble too! That way I could keep you company in detention!"

Bella couldn't help the snort that accompanied her laugh. Was this girl really a vampire? It was probably because she was giddy with...the craziness...of everything, but Bella suddenly felt an overwhelming affection for her friends. Without thinking, she grabbed the two of them and enveloped them in a huge hug.

"Um, thanks Bella. Are you sure you're ok?" Jasper asked from inside her clutch.

Bella opened her mouth to respond, but all that came out was a resounding laughter that surprised even herself. She tried to stop, but all she achieved was an even louder laugh, and before she knew it she was doubled over on the floor of the hallway, tears falling from her face and no end in sight to her hysterics.

"Do humans normally do this?"

Alice was asking Jasper, not knowing that Bella could hear. Bella let out a new round of wild giggles until she had to gasp to catch her breath.

She finally gathered her wits and looked up to Alice's and Jasper's bewildered faces. She contained the fresh bubbles that wanted to pour out and instead hugged them both again.

"I love you guys!" She said with a bright smile. Then she leaned up and gave each of them a dramatic, friendly kiss on the cheek.

"See you later!" She yelled as she headed for her next class, leaving them both gaping after her.

* * *

As it turned out, Bella actually felt grateful for the hour of detention in which she got to sit all alone, contemplating on what would happen that evening. True to her word, Alice invited her to dinner that night on behalf of Esme, and Bella agreed without hesitation. Only later, in the solitude of detention, did it occur to her that Edward was right about one thing-how _were_ they going to pull off a family dinner when vampires presumably couldn't eat human food?

Alice said everything was going to be ok-she "saw" it. Ok, one vampire reads minds, another vampire sees the future. Terrific. She wondered if every vampire could so something cool like that. It was hard not getting her head warped by Alice's ability...she "saw" that Bella would try to befriend Edward tonight...what if she changed her mind? What if Bella made the decision to be nice to Edward based solely on the things she heard this morning? There were too many what-if's, and unfortunately Bella couldn't exactly walk up to the girl and ask her to explain her power.

Before she knew it the hour passed and Bella was free.

* * *

"Sweetheart! How was your weekend?" Esme gave her a hug upon entering their home, and Bella, as always, returned it.

"It was wonderful," Bella replied, mentally adding 'aside from blowing up the forest and almost killing two of your vampire kids...oh and almost getting shot by my dad' "And yours?"

Esme brightened. "Full, that's for sure. On top of getting my Edward back, I also got two new orders that need to be finished by later this week."

"Can I-can I do anything to help?" Bella asked tentatively. She loved the hours she spent drawing up plans for furniture design, windows, and even whole blueprints with Esme. She was probably more a burden than any help, but she always tried her best.

" _Can you_? I'm counting on it!" Esme exclaimed, much to Bella's excitement.

"Seriously, Esme?" Emmett thundered in. "You couldn't wait awhile before mentioning that? Now she won't be able to sit still the whole night!"

"Yup!" Esme replied, giving him a look. "That's what you get for not helping me with dinner."

Emmett rolled his eyes, and Bella, mostly because she was watching him very carefully, didn't miss the disgusted crinkle in his nose. Interesting...

"You didn't have to go through all this trouble," she told Esme quietly.

"Sweetheart, it's no trouble at all," said Esme, holding her hand. "It's been awhile since we all sat down at the table together. And this'll be a good chance for you to get to know Edward."

Bella nodded, and looked around for the boy (man) that wanted to "get rid of" her.

"He's downstairs," Emmett said, noticing her inquiring look, "catching up with his girlfriend."

"His piano, that is," Emmett said with a grin.

Bella smiled, but figured she might as well start being nice to the boy (man) now. "Don't mock a musician and his 'lady'," she said. Then she cocked an eyebrow. "At least he knows how to use his fingers."

She didn't hear it herself, but Edward missed a measure of his notes just then and had to stop. Upstairs, Alice and Jasper snorted, and in the living room she heard Rosalie chuckle.

Emmett just grinned recklessly. "Let me tell you what these fingers can-"

"Get that toaster oven, young man!" Esme warned him.

This time, even Edward laughed out loud at Esme's unintentional addition to the joke.

Esme didn't blush, though she glared at Emmett till he cowed.

"Aww man!" Emmett complained, though still with a hint of a grin, "you got me in trouble Bella Bear!"

Bella shrugged and showed him her own evil grin behind Esme's back. "Remember that next time you make a musical joke."

Emmett stuck out his tongue. She responded in kind.

Seriously...these people were all vampires?!

* * *

Two minutes into dinner, it was clear how Bella was supposed to keep from noticing that none of the Cullens actually ate anything. They had her sitting directly in the center of the dining table in such a way that she'd have to swivel in her seat in order to talk to anyone. After every bite she took, someone on her left or on her right would say something and Bella would make sure she gave them her full attention while people on the other side of the table "ate." Out of the corner of her eye she thought she spotted a large napkin, a discreet garbage can under the table, a potted plant...all slowly filling up with food that Bella wasn't supposed to know the Cullens did not tolerate.

At least the conversations were interesting. And somewhat creepy.

Edward would not stop asking her questions. She mentally cheered at first since talking to her was certainly an improvement on wanting to kill her, but the questions got more and more detailed till she was frankly a little uncomfortable. Why on earth did he care so much for the reason behind green being her favorite color? Or how her first and only pet, Piggy the goldfish, had died? Everybody was trying to hint to him to back off, but even Carlisle had to intervene when he started asking her questions about going through puberty and her opinions about premarital sex. Thank god for Carlisle, she thought as she avoided the last question completely while taking an extra long sip of water.

Other than that long stretch of blushing, she enjoyed herself very much. She talked shop with Esme, talked about the latest history bestseller with Jasper, joked around with Alice and Jasper, and even asked Carlisle to tell her a little about his work which he did gladly.

Bella tried not to make it too obvious, but she was avoiding Rosalie. When she talked to Emmett alone, she could almost forget that the two of them were married. But she couldn't apply that to the girl (woman) in question, and she spent a good part of the evening wracked with guilt (as well as the usual Rosalie cocktail of lust and love). She wanted it to be like yesterday. She wanted to talk freely and rest her head on her shoulders as she did last night. But yesterday she was Emmett's girlfriend, as terrible as that itself was. Now she's his wife. Bella felt so powerless as she stared longingly at Rosalie. Even if Edward's bitter words from this morning were the truth and Rosalie did feel something for her, Bella knew it didn't matter anymore.

* * *

Rosalie felt a little guilty for blocking off the exit, especially when she noted Bella's confused and panicked look, but she'd had enough. Rosalie was not one to be ignored yet that was what Bella had done all day. Rosalie couldn't have been more surprised. Last night, Bella most definitely enjoyed the physical contact with her. Her heart raced and she could smell her arousal from every corner of the shed. There was no question that Bella reciprocated at least some of her own feelings for her.

At the moment though, Bella looked like a deer in headlights.

"Hello," Rosalie said, walking towards her.

"Hi," Bella replied. She quickly looked away. They were standing on a large balcony. Rosalie wished for another venue because this one provided too many distractions for the girl. Bella looked intently at everything around her...everything but Rosalie.

"How did you and Emmett meet?" Bella asked suddenly.

Rosalie raised an eyebrow. "He was adopted a couple of years after me."

"No, sorry-I know," Bella stumbled. "I meant...how did you know he was the one?"

Where on earth was this going?

"It took a little while for me to realize it I suppose," Rosalie started, filtering out the vampire bits. "He was the complete opposite of the person I thought I'd be with...but it didn't take long to realize he was exactly right for me. We compliment each other."

"You do," Bella said quietly, looking out at the woods again. "You're lucky to have each other."

Rosalie stood in silence next to her for a few minutes as the reason for Bella's odd behavior dawned on her. Emmett. Bella was thinking of him...she didn't want to come between them. She smiled softly behind the girl's back, though mentally chastised herself. Of course, Bella wasn't just going to leap into her arms-even though she obviously wanted to very much-without question. As far as she knew, Rosalie and Emmett were a regular, typical monogamous couple. Rosalie's features softened as she saw the guilt and sadness stamped on poor Bella's face.

She wanted badly to touch her, but refrained from going any closer. No need to torture the girl. This was going to take some time, she realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note III: Your reviews sustain me. Please tell me what you think!


	26. Watching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Unbeknownst to the family, Bella spent the next few weeks watching and listening very carefully, trying to do what she could to understand and in some cases, to help. At first she felt extraordinarily guilty eavesdropping on conversations that she was clearly not supposed to hear. She didn't go out of her way to do it. But the Cullens were used to speaking in front of her and in front of other humans. It certainly was convenient to be able to communicate right in the open without dim human ears listening. Bella saw its appeal...like speaking a secret language that others couldn't understand or even know you were speaking it. Unfortunately, Bella's skill with this aspect of her gift only improved. By the end of the school year, her ears had become so attuned to her friends' whispers that she didn't even need to think about it when she listened. It was automatic now.

Bella learned a great deal using her gift, including her family's approximate true ages. Carlisle was by far the oldest-over 300 years. She almost slipped that time, and barely covered up her reaction when Carlisle cavalierly mentioned meeting King James II. Hearing his age first prepared her for the others', though none of them surprised her as much as Carlisle had. Edward was born in 1901, Rosalie and Emmett in 1915, and Esme sometime in the late 19th century. She didn't catch Jasper's age, but nearly had a heart attack when she learned he fought in the Civil War. That explains his obsession with American history, she thought as she stared at him in awe during class. They were actually talking about the Civil War that day. And Jasper was just sitting there, paying attention to the teacher like everyone else...

She now also knew all about the Volturi, ironically thanks to Edward who despite her efforts at a decent friendship with him continued to whine about their potential discovery and inevitable doom and gloom. Edward and Carlisle had a particularly tense conversation about the Vampire royal family while she helped Esme put away that one morning's dishes. Trying not to let on that she was listening (a ridiculously difficult task, Bella discovered), Bella mulled over what she had learned. Aro, Caius, and Marcus sounded like a nightmare. Someone who could know every thought you've ever had, simply with a touch? Edward seemed particularly terrified of a brother and sister named Jane and Alec. The thought of losing her senses made Bella shiver too, but she had rolled her eyes at Jane's description, especially her power. Feeling like you're on fire? Ha! Welcome to Bella Swan's world. Bet Jane's never felt it herself.

Edward proved to be extremely annoying-not only because of his incessant fears over her humanity but also because of the extremes with which he swung regarding their relationship. He was worse than Rosalie! If she wasn't aware of his exact reasons, Bella probably would've given up ages ago. But as irritating as he was, she couldn't deny the validity of his concerns...concerns that would make sense if she was anyone else. Her scent affected them all, though by the time Edward came back from Denali he was the only one that visibly struggled with it. She tried everything within reason to help. She showered as often as she could. She sat as far away as she could without being rude. She even gave in and let Alice take her shopping, just so she'd have more clothes to wear that didn't smell so much like her all the time. None of it worked. The only thing that made any difference was her brilliant realization that scent traveled by wind. Now that she knew the signs, she could always tell when it was too much for him. His eyes would darken and Bella would subtly shift the heading of the wind so that her scent traveled in a different direction. It didn't necessarily stop his pain, but at least it seemed to halt its rise until he could find an excuse to leave.

Bella really did feel bad for him, and kept trying to befriend him much to his annoyance. She took every opportunity to talk to him...about books, music, anything to get him to warm up to her. She understood that exposure to her would help lessen his uncontrollable hunger for her blood. She assumed that's how the other Cullens, especially Jasper got over wanting to bite her. Her progression with him was a frustrating one step forward, two steps back ordeal. They'd have a pleasant conversation one day, then the next he'd pointedly ignore her. He'd brighten as she expressed a liking for a favorite band of his, then sulk for the remainder of the day, reminding his family that they'd probably kill her before the end of summer. It was all Bella could do not to levitate him into a wall head-first.

If he only knew how many times her knowledge had helped them avoid a sticky situation. Bella understood that their friendship with her was against Vampire customs, and that in fact they had unknowingly already broken the cardinal Vampire law of secrecy. So she did what she could to help them keep their secret. Ignoring their eating habits was just the tip of the iceberg. There was the one time she and Alice went shopping in Port Angeles, and right before they were about to step out of the car the sun came out. Poor Alice was trying to find an excuse to stay in the car a while longer, but Bella solved her problem by exclaiming her sudden need for a bathroom and rushed inside, yelling at Alice to meet her in the store.

There was the time Emmett accidentally broke the xbox controller straight down the middle while they were playing together. Bella heard it of course, but pretended she hadn't and tore his character to pieces while Rosalie discreetly handed him another controller. Rosalie had a similar incident...only it was the bumper of a car that suddenly had a hand-sized dent in it. Bella simply made a show of reading something in the car manual intently, strolling slowly around the garage to give the blonde time to fix her mistake. And the time she, Jasper, and Alice went to Seattle and found themselves in the middle of some parade. Jasper looked ready to pass out from the sheer number of beating hearts and sweaty palms. There was nothing Bella could do about the former (and she was working hard to keep from hyperventilating herself), but that day she was able to divert strong gusts of wind over that section of the city in the opposite direction. It gave Alice enough time to help him into a pharmacy, feigning indigestion.

Countless times, Bella turned a blind eye to all the unusual occurrences that seemed to happen with alarming frequency around the Cullens now that Bella knew what to look for. She couldn't believe that she had gone for so long without knowing. She couldn't believe nobody else in school or in town noticed! But it appeared she really was the only human in Forks aware of their secret.

For all her observations, Bella never realized that she too was carefully being watched.

* * *

Jasper stood about 20 miles from the house, waiting for his wife. They had been meeting here secretly every few days since Edward's return. The rest of the time, the two of them kept their minds shut tight to the irritatingly perceptive boy. These nights away from him were the only times they could relax and think freely.

Rosalie was the one who alerted them to her suspicions regarding Bella, but it was Alice and he who continued to watch. Rosalie was too wrapped up in her feelings for the girl now to be of any help. She was too blinded by her passion for Bella, not that Jasper blamed her. Emmett, ever the trusting and loving kid that he was, was no help from the very start. So it was just him and Alice now who tried without success to figure Bella out.

There were too many irregularities...things that didn't add up.

Bella was supposed to be human, yet her mind was comparable to a vampire's. He watched her closely in the classes they shared. Bella was bored out of her mind in classes, like none of the material was new for her. She read at an astounding speed, faster than even he could when it was something new. And she tried to hide it. She continued her game of tapping out song lyrics in morse (and numerous others) code in between pages. He had looked over her shoulders a few times while writing papers for class...Bella didn't need to refer to her books for accurate quotes. She had them memorized down to the page numbers. Not normal.

She was also too...graceful. He never saw her skate, but his eyes did nearly pop of their sockets when she leaped _way_ too high in order to climb a tree. And she didn't actually exert any effort as she pulled her limbs up the 20-foot climb. She had absolutely no fear of heights. Emmett loved frolicking on rooftops with her, and the few times he had joined the two of them up there during lunch he observed her carefully as she leaped, rolled, and flipped all over the roof. She came precariously close to the edge several times, but it never affected her. Not normal.

The emotions he felt rolling from her were also far too intense. Emotional pain was one thing. Physical pain, apparently caused by an emotion, was something else. Jasper had never experienced the level of pain he sometimes felt from the girl. It was enough to make him, a vampire, cry out in pain. Yet every time he managed to catch sight of Bella during those...episodes...her body revealed nothing. People just don't feel that kind of pain without collapsing. Not normal.

Then there was the deal with her father. Jasper had gone back to Bella's house a few times since the day of the fire to check up on him. Each time, the guilt he forced on him would be severely diminished, replaced by a fierce hatred for Bella. Each time, Jasper would growl and shake his head, and proceed to teach the man another lesson. Jasper wished his ministrations could be permanent but that was not his gift. He wished he could ask Edward to help him understand what was going on in the man's head, but if he did he'd have to explain why, and Edward was the last person in the world they wanted on Bella's case. He was bad enough with her ability to block him. If he learned of what they had observed, they'd all find themselves in Alaska before they knew it. No, it was imperative that Edward be in the dark on this one.

He heard Alice approach and before he knew it, she was standing at his side.

"Hey darling," he said. "Hunt well?"

"Deer," she signed. "Nothing special."

He nodded. Deer is so bland. More like tofu...it satiated their hunger, but boy it was nothing like a good bear.

"Well?" He asked, unable to hide his curiosity any longer. "Did you find anything?"

"Oh yes I did," she said with a glint.

Jasper waited, noticing her eyes glazing a few times. She was probably searching for the best way to tell him, he thought, rolling his eyes. She really needed to stop relying so heavily on her gift.

"I called children's welfare agencies, the Phoenix police and fire departments, every county records office in Pennsylvania, Charlie's old boss and coworkers, dozens of elementary and middle schools, and every Carol Higginbotham in the tri-state area. If I didn't come away with something, dear husband, I would've eaten somebody."

Jasper sighed. He knew how to handle his wife.

"Darling, you are a goddess. A miracle for all the ages," he said and bowed to her.

"Thank you," she smiled smugly and curtsied.

"Now, will you please tell me what you learned?" He hated to beg but the suspense was killing him.

Alice sighed dramatically.

"The fire occurred on September 13, 2005. It was Bella's 9th birthday. The fire chief said it was the worst and craziest fire he had ever seen. They weren't able to put it out until dawn, and by then most of the housing development was burnt to the ground. Jazz, he sent me some news reports and pictures from that day...the damage looks very similar to what happened here."

Jazz was silent, taking it all in.

"What else did you find out?" He asked quietly.

"To be honest, not much. Charlie's old co-workers remember him saying he'd sent his daughter to live with an aunt, that the trauma was too much for Bella and that she needed a new environment. He left for Forks not long after that."

"I called dozens of records offices and schools in Bradford county," she continued. "There's no record of an Isabella Swan attending any school or being part of any kind of organization. I called surrounding counties to be sure. Nothing. Bella Swan, born in 1996, has never-according to the records anyway-attended school or joined the girl scouts or so much as gotten a library card in the state of Pennsylvania."

Alice paused, and Jasper sensed there was more.

"But that's not the most disturbing thing," she started. "I went through the Bradford county phone book, then every other PA county phone book...there's not a single Carol Higginbotham in Pennsylvania who knows a Bella Swan. I spent an absurd amount of time online, searching the library's databases. And I found this."

She handed him a printout of an old newspaper article, dating from 1991. It was an obituary.

He silently read it. 'Carol Higginbotham, age 19, died June 2, 1991, as a result of injuries sustained in a motor vehicle accident. She is survived by her mother, Marie, and her younger sister, Renee...'

Jasper looked at his wife, who was watching him carefully.

"Now what do we do?" he asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: All the humans in this are 9 years younger. Bella was born in 1996. Renee was born in 1977. And so on. This chapter was originally written in 2013 so that's how the math adds up...


	27. Duet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

"Bella!" She heard Esme shout her name from her office. "Thank god! Get in here!"

Bella grinned as she shut the front door behind her and wiped her rainy boots on the mat. She was slowly gaining confidence in her own design skills thanks to Esme's tutelage, but Bella still felt like Esme was humoring her some of the time. Hearing the relief in Esme's voice however, made her feel like she might actually be contributing to her work. She darted down the side hallway to Esme's office as soon she was inside only to find the woman standing in the middle of-well, what _used to_ be her office.

"Um, is this the right house?" Bella asked slowly. Esme's office was never anything but impeccable, but this room barely qualified for a room.

"Ha ha," she said, frowning. "Mrs. Bryant is driving me crazy! I have done dozens of models for her. Dozens! It's only a bed for god's sake! I swear if she criticizes the next one I'll bite her!"

Bella giggled and pretended not to see Esme's panicked face at her slip up. Hell, she wouldn't mind biting a few people herself.

"How can I help?" she asked, eager to assist but highly doubtful she'd make any impact.

Esme sighed. "I've read her emails more times than I care to count. I can't look at them anymore. Would you go through them, see if there's something in her descriptions of what she wants that I'm missing?"

Bella nodded, sitting down at the computer while Esme separated the designs and models into a discernible pattern. Wow, Bella thought as she scrolled through a total of 62 email messages between Mrs. Bryant and Esme. The client's thoughts were all over the place, like she had a strong sense of what she wanted but just couldn't put it into words. The attachments with Esme's designs reflected each email's discussion...but they were never exactly what Mrs. Bryant wanted.

One word caught Bella's attention though: sinewy. Soon after, she noticed a smattering of other highly specific descriptors scattered all over the messages...cascade, flow, and ripple among them. Why not, she thought, and started to draw.

"Bella, what on earth is that?" Esme asked, staring at the paper in her hands. Bella looked up from the task that had engrossed her for the better part of 45 minutes.

"An idea," she said. "Mrs. Bryant likes Tolkien. I've seen her renew the Fellowship of the Ring twice in the library. The way she was trying to describe what she wanted...I dunno, it reminded me of Rivendell."

"Er..." Esme looked at her drawing with confusion.

"You've...never read Lord of the Rings?" She asked her.

Esme shook her head, looking a little abashed.

Seriously? Bella thought...what else was there to do when you're immortal?

"Well...I think she wants to wake up and forget that she's indoors. The bed should resemble a tree that's never been trimmed, or rather, its roots. They should flow down from above the bed to all the sides..."

Bella explained her thought process and each feature of the crazy bed she had sketched, while Esme listened carefully.

"Ok, sweetheart," Esme said, after scanning her drawing, "I'll send it to Mrs. Bryant. Don't feel let down if she doesn't take to it though. God knows she hated all my stuff."

Bella nodded.

Esme smiled softly, and surprised her by kissing her gingerly on the forehead. "I'm very proud of you," she said.

Bella blushed, and for the thousandth time she thanked god, fate, whomever for allowing her the chance to be part of this incredible family's lives.

* * *

"Hello?"

Bella walked up the stairs to the main level of the house, looking for any sign of human, er-vampire life.

"In here."

Bella's heart skipped a beat. It was Rosalie. Breathe.

Since she had found out their secret, and more importantly since she learned the object of her affections was happily married to her best friend, Bella put a stop to every temptation within reach. She avoided sitting directly next to her. She fought to keep her gaze level with her eyes, and never faltered when she looked at her despite the tempest that always raged inside her. She didn't think they actually physically touched at all in weeks. Rosalie, if she even noticed Bella's drastic measures, did not comment. She went along with all of her new unspoken rules without so much as batting an eye.

The only thing Bella could not bring herself to do was stop talking outright to Rosalie. Just the idea would sent her into a panic attack. Rosalie's voice was a drug Bella could not live without, and so she made up for her austere measures by indulging in that drug as often and for as long as she could. And so over these last weeks, Bella and Rosalie's relationship grew stronger through endless conversations and, when one of them thought the other wasn't looking, through hard and longing stares. She had come to her shed frequently, but after the first night together they never again left the gnarly couch, let alone shared a bed. As much as everything in Bella screamed at her to, she knew if she ever touched her again while feeling this way she'd lose control. Bella was grateful Edward couldn't read her, because even though things with Rosalie were frustratingly G-rated, her thoughts were anything but. All Rosalie had to do was enter the room for Bella to feel a most pleasant and distracting stirring deep inside her. She hoped beyond hope that she was masking her emotions well enough to fool Jasper, but she could never be sure. Thankfully, she never heard him whisper anything about it.

Bella steeled herself, and entered the living room.

Her breath caught in her throat, but for once it wasn't Rosalie's doing. There was a new addition to the Cullens' living room...a gleaming white piano. Bella narrowed her eyes. They didn't...did they? Surely they wouldn't spend this kind of fortune on something so blatantly for her benefit?

Bella decided to play it cool and sauntered over to sit on an armchair opposite of Rosalie, who was looking at her intently as she always did. Suddenly she let out a small laugh (Beautiful, Bella thought) and raised an eyebrow.

"You're not fooling me little girl," she said. "I'd rather you get it over with and get it out of your system now. I won't have you ignoring me."

Bella frowned mockingly. "Am I that obvious?"

Rosalie looked at her hard for a moment. "Yes, you are."

Bella gulped but held her gaze, ignoring the double entendre.

"Any requests?" She asked and started to walk over to the baby grand.

"Actually, how about a duet?" Rosalie replied.

Bella whipped her head to stare at her. "You play?" She asked. How had she not known that?

"Yes. Not like you though," Rosalie laughed. "But I was talking about the violin."

Seriously, how had she not known that? Bella shook her head and sat down in front of the piano while she waited for Rosalie to bring her instrument. She ran her hands over the keys, trying not to imagine how Rosalie would look as she played. If the ache developing in her core was any indication, this was going to be a very long afternoon.

Rosalie came back, and Bella kept her head down while she helped her get in tune. Please, please stand behind me, she silently begged her. Please stand behind me, and far, far away. As if she could hear her thoughts, Rosalie, in her usual mocking fashion glided to stand a few feet in front of the piano's curve...directly in Bella's sights. Fuck...

"Your wish is my command," Bella said, bowing in her seat.

Even with months of practice under her belt now, Bella still melted from Rosalie's killer gaze. But she'd had lots of practice keeping her face neutral, so outwardly, Bella just stared back and waited.

"Canon in D," she said, and waited for her to start.

Bella resisted the urge to roll her eyes, remembering that Rosalie didn't know the extent of her musical repertoire. Canon in D was a good song to throw out there because any semi-serious musician would know it. Bella's official musical schooling ended at 9, but even then it seemed that every book she'd studied had some version of the song. Ok Rosalie, she thought. Let's see what you can do. And she began to play the intro.

Rosalie came in about 20 seconds later, and Bella smiled at the perfection she heard. She stole a glance her way and immediately wished she hadn't. Bella's fingers were on auto-pilot but her eyes stayed trained on the other girl and didn't leave her body till the end of the song. The precision of her wrist...the agility of her fingers...the smoothness of her strokes...the way her hair fell on her shoulders as her body shifted with each movement of her bow...Bella's eyes never grew tired. Every inch of Rosalie's body ignited a fire in her own...a fire very different from what she was accustomed to.

Bella never took her eyes off of Rosalie, even as she played the final chords. The blonde lowered her instrument and stared back.

Shit, speak. Say something.

Bella cleared her throat. "You've been holding out on me," she said.

Rosalie's expression softened somewhat, and a ghost of a smile appeared on her face.

"Yes...but I don't think I will anymore."

What the hell did she mean by that? Before she had time for another thought, Rosalie was suddenly sitting right next to her. Oh god. Oh god, Oh god.

She quickly moved over to her left a few inches, and tried to order the right side of her body to stop buzzing. A second later though she stopped breathing altogether, because Rosalie was holding her right hand. Bella froze. Even her heart seemed to stop beating in her chest momentarily before it tripled in speed.

"Let's see if you can play...under pressure," Rosalie said softly.

And then she leaned closer and whispered the name of a song in her ear...and Bella's eyes rolled into the back of her head when she felt the girl's lips on her ear.

"Ready?" Rosalie asked.

Huh? Ready for what? Her mind was still on Rosalie's lips.

"Hmm?" She asked, dazed.

Rosalie smiled that goddamn half smile again. "Habanera, Bella. Are you ready?"

Bella could only nod. Rosalie set her burning hand down on the board, adding to her torture by maneuvering each of her fingers onto the correct key. Bella took a deep unsteady breath and, when Rosalie nodded to her, began to play.

Bella had never done a 4-hand variation on anything since, obviously, she had no one with which to play. The novelty of it kept her focused at first. The whole thing was an improvisation for her which she had to admit was pretty fun. Except this fun was going to give her a heart attack. Bella hadn't been this close to Rosalie in weeks. She could _feel_ her body next to her. She could feel her hips swaying. Her shoulder kept bumping into hers. Her arm kept grazing Bella's. She was doing it on purpose, Bella knew. Otherwise she would've stopped long ago to at least inquire about her racing heart and trembling legs. She knew Rosalie could hear her. Hell she could probably smell her arousal-it was that strong. Breathe, Bella. Fuck, she smells amazing. Ok, don't breathe. Shit, that's not gonna work.

Bella was physically exhausted when they finished the song-not from playing but from working so hard to keep herself from leaning into Rosalie...from grabbing her hands...from pushing her onto the piano and kissing her until neither of them could breathe. If Jasper could feel her now...

She kept her eyes shut after the last notes died off. She was afraid of what she would see, but more afraid of what she might do if she saw it. Bella's control was finite, and she was grasping at the last of it. She tried to focus on the rain outside but could barely hear it over her thundering heart.

She whimpered softly when, without warning, she felt Rosalie's hand on her cheek...her thumb softly stroking her flesh.

"Bella, open your eyes," Rosalie said.

Bella complied, and inhaled deeply when she looked up at Rosalie. Bella thought she might cry. She had seen small hints of this over the weeks, ever since the night at the music hall. This...this was the whole shebang. This was everything Rosalie could show her in a glance, everything her eyes could communicate about how she felt. Any doubts Bella may have had about this terrible situation being one-sided were promptly thrown out the window.

Bella's heart somersaulted in her chest when she realized Rosalie's gaze had shifted to her lips.

She released a ragged breath, and watched Rosalie slowly lean forward, while her stomach coiled around itself painfully.

Outside, a tree exploded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I feel so evil. Punish me in the reviews :P


	28. Recognition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: If you care, these are the exact recordings that inspired last chapter's musical numbers. Canon: Youtube this exact phrase "Brian Crain - Canon in D (piano and violin)"
> 
> Habanera: Youtube this exact phrase "Bizet Habanera from Opera "Carmen" (Piano 4-Hands)"

_Bella's heart somersaulted in her chest when she realized Rosalie's gaze had shifted to her lips._

_She released a ragged breath, and watched Rosalie slowly lean forward, while her stomach coiled around itself painfully._

_Outside, a tree exploded._

Rosalie froze. Bella went into hyperdrive.

Keeping her eyes screwed shut, Bella slithered out of her seat by Rosalie and bolted to the front door, relying on her memory of the house's layout to guide her.

She expected Rosalie to come after her or shout for her to stop but she didn't. Within seconds of the explosion, Bella was pedaling as fast as she could away, far away from the house and the mangled tree.

* * *

Rosalie remained in her seat, still as a statue long after Bella had disappeared. She kept her eyes trained on the empty spot next to her and took a few deep breaths more out of habit than out of necessity. What. Just. Happened?

She rose from her stupor like a zombie and walked to the nearest window where she got her first view of what had made that terrible noise. It used to be a tree. It used to be a tall, straight, proud tree on the edge of the woods, very close to the house. An eerie feeling overtook her as she inspected what had become of it. The trunk, formerly 3 feet in diameter, looked like someone had set off dynamite inside of it. It was missing all its leaves. And it was charred black as coal.

She stood rooted to her spot, and may have easily remained there for hours were it not for Esme poking her head from her office.

"What was that noise, Rose?" She shouted.

"Lightning strike," Rosalie replied without hesitation. Then, before Esme could make any further inquiries, she darted out the door and, in the pouring rain, she pulverized the tree till nothing remained but the still smoldering core of the trunk.

* * *

Alice huffed in annoyance at the stack of phone books in front of her. It was during times like this that she couldn't wait for computers to make these damn things obsolete once for all. It was happening, but it was happening far too slowly for her. She needed it to happen yesterday, or rather before she got the brilliant idea of tracking down Bella's old teachers. Ugh.

"Hi there. I found another one for ya," a young librarian grinned and handed her a thick yet flimsy phone book. He looked way too happy. Hmm. Maybe she should dial down the charm.

"Thank you very much," she said politely. Shoo, she thought, and sighed as she flipped through the book to the page the man had marked for her.

She waited through the ringing impatiently.

"Hello?" A female voice on the other end answered.

"Hello, ma'am. I'm Alice Webber," she recited her speech for the hundredth time that day. "I work for the Washington State Department of Children and Families. Please forgive my intrusion on your day. I'm hoping I have the correct Julie Cross. You see I have a case here involving a young woman whom I believe you once taught in the second grade. This is quite some time back. Tell me, do you recall a girl named Isabella Swan? She may have gone by Bella."

The woman was silent for a moment. "Yes," Julie said. "I remember her."

Alice sat up straighter in her seat. Finally! Now for the next part of her speech, the one she had yet to perform.

"That's a relief," she said, sighing dramatically. "I'm so glad to finally find someone. I'm in a bit of a bind here actually. There have been some...strange...notes on the girl's records, and they're severely hampering my ability to place her with a family. To be honest, I'm having a difficult time believing some of these...claims, and I've been trying to locate anyone who knew Ms. Swan and who could perhaps shed some light on the matter."

Again, an unbearable pause.

"How did her folks die?" Julie asked.

Alice raised an eyebrow. "A fire," she responded, not bothering to explain that only one parent was deceased.

"Figures," Julie sighed and continued, "I don't think you should put that girl with a family, Ms. Webber. In fact I think you should lock her up if you can."

40 minutes later, Alice hung up. Before she could reflect on the things Bella's teacher had told her, her phone rang.

"Hello?" She answered.

"I've been trying to call you for an hour." It was Rosalie.

"Sorry, Rose," she said. "I was on the phone. What is it?"

"It's Bella. I need your help. How fast can you get here?"

* * *

Charlie sighed in relief when the firefighters gave him the OK signal. They'd gotten everyone out of the store. For a few minutes he'd feared the worst. It took the fire chief and two members of his crew so long to find the last little boy. But he was safe in the ambulance now, hooked up to an oxygen tank and holding his sobbing mother's hand.

As usual when he found himself in a situation like this, his thoughts turned to that awful night seven and a half years ago. Unlike now, no amount of jetting water was able to put that fire out. He remembered watching in fascination, the part of him that knew he had a wife and daughter inside the flames almost completely disconnected, as the flames actively fought back any attempt at containment. It was as if the fire was a wild creature that refused to give up its newfound freedom. It could have-would have been beautiful if it wasn't so devastating.

Even then, thinking of his wife and daughter perishing inside, the suspicion remained in his heart. He had long feared the worst from his daughter...could it get any worse than that?

Charlie winced out of reflex when he thought of his daughter. But his emotions did not torture him tonight as they had on many occasions since he-since _she_ had lost control. He glanced back at the receding fire in Newton's sporting goods store and thought of his wife...his beautiful, wonderful wife. She refused to heed his warnings. She refused to listen to his pleadings. All of Bella's life, he tried to be a good father but there is only so much a parent can do. Whatever was wrong with Bella...it was a sickness that neither he nor Renée were fit to cure.

He closed his eyes, overcome by a deep sadness for the life he had lost and the life he was now doomed to live. Would his life forever be dictated by these flames? Leaning against his cruiser's doors, he asked himself again...would he always be at the fire's mercy? When the time came, and he knew that it must come, would he have the courage to do what should've been done years ago? Would he be able to extinguish the monstrous flames that have already taken his wife and daughter from him?

It was the bike that caught his attention. He stared at it for a moment, then fear gripped at his heart. Bella. No, he gasped as he looked back at the smoldering flames behind him. He squinted in the hazy light and sure enough, there she was. She was standing still as a statue on a corner sidewalk about 20 yards away. And she was staring, his stomach plummeted as he realized, at the fire in the store. She was staring at it intently, almost...hungrily.

Automatically, he reached for his gun and turned off the safety, then stalked toward the monster.

* * *

Bella gripped the handlebars of her bike so tightly they were in danger of breaking off. The flames...they were so beautiful. She hated _that_ the most...that she loved that awful and destructive thing. But it was _so_ lovely. She was always drawn to fire. For as long as she could remember, fire took her breath away...even before it took her life. As a little girl she loved that the colors kept changing. She loved the fire's playful dance, its teasing sparks, and its warm touch. Touching the flames, as she often did when she was little and long before she understood its danger to normal people, was like being wrapped in a favorite blanket.

Even now, after everything she'd been through, fire still had a way of enthralling her. She gazed longingly at the waning flames and wished she could enter its warm embrace. It would be almost as exquisite as Rosalie's. Away from her burning gaze, Bella allowed herself a moment to think about what had transpired in the living room with Rosalie. Mostly she thought of the unspoken yet palpable message in Rosalie's eyes. She closed her own eyes, not wanting anything, not even the flames to interrupt her visions. If she had to go blind she would ask only for the chance to see Rosalie's face one more time looking as she looked at her today.

God, she wanted her. Bella's heart, her soul, her very being yearned for Rosalie in a manner beyond description. She still couldn't believe nor understand the glow that ran through her body whenever they were physically close to each other. If the flames made her feel safe and secure, Rosalie's blazing touch made her feel...like she was home at last.

She's not yours. She'll never be yours. Even if Rosalie wanted her too, something Bella did not doubt now, she knew she'd never acquiesce. She could not hurt Emmett like that. Rosalie might be able to live with it, but Bella could not. She would have to find a way to be content with merely looking at her wondrous body and listening to her melodic voice.

Her voice...

She was...she was right here, calling her name. Rosalie was walking fast in her direction from her right, Alice trailing behind, and she was calling her name. Bella smiled happily before starting to panic. The tree...

But Rosalie looked panicked as well. She was walking faster now and looking at something behind Bella.

Bella turned to her left. Her heart fell. Charlie was coming her way too...and he did not look amicable. In fact, his hand was resting lightly on his holstered gun. Oh no.

He couldn't. He wouldn't! Not here in front of all these people. Not in front of Rosalie and Alice. Like a train, it hit her that her dying tonight would not be the worst outcome that she had to prevent. No...because if she knew Alice and Rosalie, she knew they'd do something drastic... something that could force the Cullens to blow their precarious cover. She couldn't let that happen.

Bella immediately stamped down her rising emotions and turned to face her father.

"Hello Charlie," she said.

Her hopes fell when he snarled his greeting. Bella didn't understand. Why was he so angry?

" _What_ do you think you're doing?" He asked her through gritted teeth. His hand was still lightly touching his gun. It was in its holster but the latch, she noted, was unclasped.

"I'm not doing anything, Charlie," she said slowly. "I'm just meeting my friends."

Alice and Rosalie were upon them now. She hoped Charlie couldn't hear Rosalie's growls.

He looked at the two women flanking her then turned his sharp gaze back to Bella.

"Did you have something to do with this?" He asked and looked at what was left of the burning building.

Understanding crossed Bella's face. That's why...

"No," she sighed with relief. "I just got here."

"You're lying!" He nearly shouted and stepped closer. "I saw you. I saw you with that...look. _I saw you!_ "

Once again in less than two months, Charlie moved for his gun.

She heard the strangled hissing on both sides of her. Bella knew she had to act fast before something irreversible occurred. She grabbed Alice and Rosalie and stepped forward while pushing the two of them behind her. As soon as she was sure they couldn't see her face, Bella focused her gaze on Charlie's weapon. Before he managed to fully remove it from his holster, the magazine clip fell from the gun, strewing bullets all over the sidewalk. For good measure Bella helped the bullets roll into the nearest storm drain.

Charlie stared at his gun. Bella stared at Charlie. Behind her, Rosalie and Alice stared at Bella.

Charlie broke the spell first. He glared at Bella with terrified and angry eyes then turned on his heels and stormed to his car.

Instead of feeling relieved as his cruiser took off like she thought she would, Bella felt overcome. Those few minutes of tension, Alice's and Rosalie's presence, the energy that still remained locked in her body that hadn't been satisfied with merely one tree's destruction, and especially this afternoon by Rosalie's side...it all suddenly weighed very heavily on Bella's psyche. She could feel the rumbling in her chest and the coils moving in her stomach. She shook in fear. No...

"It's ok, Bells," she heard Alice say. "I understand."

What was she talking about? Alice slinked to her side and grabbed her arm until she faced her.

"Go. Do what you need to do," she said. "Come back to the house when you're ready. We'll be waiting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Review notifications make the best morning alarm.


	29. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note I: There's a song called "My Skin" by Natalie Merchant that I listened to a lot while writing this chapter.

The house looked quiet and perfectly still but Bella wasn't fooled. She knew they were all inside waiting. Twelve hours had passed since she ran from Alice and Rosalie in town. In that time she had run over 50 miles northwest to Makah Bay, chosen the most deserted looking site, and unleashed everything she had. It was the only preparation she could think to do for today.

Just to be safe though, she stopped a few dozen yards from the house. She would go no further.

"I'm outside," she said. "This can't be done indoors."

The breeze Bella called carried her words right to the Cullens' ears. She knew she didn't actually need to do that-that their vampire senses could hear her without any extra effort on her part. But as far as the Cullens knew their secret was still safe. It was her cat that was out of the bag, not theirs.

She sat down against a tree, her arms tightly wound around her knees, and waited.

* * *

One by one, they appeared. Alice and Jasper in the lead, followed by Rosalie, Emmett, Esme and Carlisle, and Edward in the rear. Bella smiled slightly at Alice who promptly sat down on the ground close to her, indicating her support. Jasper followed suit. Bella hoped they'd feel the same way when she was through explaining. The rest of the family remained on their feet.

Bella's heart was pounding. She kept her head down and stared at the grass at her feet, truly at a loss for how to start. She remained like this, her mouth occasionally opening then closing shut again for several long minutes.

"Bella," she heard Carlisle warmly say. "Perhaps you should just start from the beginning."

She looked up at him, for the first time seeing his and the rest of the family's facial expressions. He was smiling gently, as was Esme. Emmett as always looked at her like she was the best thing since the first Atari. Rosalie...she could not read her. But she stood firmly holding her husband's hand while her gaze held hers unwaveringly. Edward looked bored.

The beginning...when was that? How does someone recall their first word? Or the first time they ate chocolate? This...thing was as much a part of her as any organ.

"What exactly do you know?" She asked, hoping for a clue but also, if she were to be honest with herself, to stall for time.

"Not a thing, Bella," Alice answered her. "Jazz and I have been digging, and I've been looking more closely. But they don't know a thing. I thought it'd be best for you to explain."

Bella nodded. "I don't remember...exactly how things started. I've heard bits and pieces from my parents when they thought I wasn't listening though. I know they started to notice something when I was 2 or 3."

She swallowed hard as she recalled memories she had long kept buried.

"There were some small things," she continued. "I'd grab a hot pot or spoon and it wouldn't bother me. I'd barely notice the temperature if my milk was heated too hot. I could walk on pavement on the hottest days without feeling any pain. Those kinds of things. They didn't happen often, and it was easy for them to ignore it thinking it was their imagination."

She took a deep breath and carried on. "Sometime when I was four, something happened that they couldn't pretend had not. My mom was in the kitchen, and I was tall enough to reach the stove. She walked out to answer the phone...and I think...no I'm sure that was the first time I saw the flames."

Bella closed her eyes, remembering this day through her own eyes. "It was so beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Nobody told me that fire was bad. I remember thinking I'd just found the best toy ever...so I went and...played with it."

Her eyes glistened as she thought of her mother. "Mom came in and saw the knobs turned all the way up...and she saw me with my hands in the fire, laughing."

She stopped, remembering how horrified her mother had looked. She screamed, ran for Bella and pulled her from the fire. She had tears running down her face and Bella had tried to wipe them away, but Renee shuddered at her touch. From then on, she would always hesitate before touching Bella. Another deep breath.

"She didn't tell Charlie right away. She sat me down and explained how dangerous it was, the fire, and how badly I could've gotten hurt. It didn't make any sense to me, but I promised her anyway that I would never do that again."

She did do it again, though. Many, many times. It was impossible to resist. Every fire she saw from that point on was a dear friend to Bella. No two blazes were alike. Each had its characteristics...its own distinct color, its own dance, its own flavor. And they welcomed her as she welcomed them. They were the only companions aside from her mother and father that she had. Everyone else had already shunned her by the time she started school. Even her mother and father, though they tried very hard to love her unconditionally, kept her at an arm's length.

"I couldn't keep my word though," she summarized. "It, or something like it happened again and again. And it got worse when I started school. It wasn't easy for me...other kids, teachers...they were much more difficult for me to deal with than fire. I struggled a lot. And it made fighting the urge...more difficult."

They didn't need to know just how bad it was for her. The stories and the rumors about her traveled from parent to parent, child to child, teacher to teacher. Whereas the first day of school for most children was a chance to begin anew, for Bella it was and would always be the same torture. It was amazing how many different groups of kids hated her. It wasn't just the rich, popular kids and the outright bullies who found pleasure in tormenting her. The smart kids, the quiet ones, the kids who volunteered after school, the kids with two dads and a cat...all of them united in making her life hell. The best days were when she made it home without speaking or being spoken to all day. On the worst days, she'd come home with a bruised body, ripped clothes, and shredded books. After she had been on her own for a few years, she started to wonder if maybe things might have gotten better if she'd stayed a bit longer. But Bella knew now that it was just the loneliness thinking for her. If she had spent seven years in that state of mind with those people...she was sure they would've killed her. Or more likely, she would've killed them.

"I messed up a lot. By second grade I could make sparks fly from anything. It would happen without me even thinking about it. By the end of the school year I could create small flames. They suspended me the last week of school for it. Willful arson, they called it..."

That summer, Charlie stopped taking her to play ball on the weekends. Renee no longer insisted that she try a few weeks of day camp. And Bella...she spent those long days playing her piano or wrapped up inside her ever strengthening security blanket. She taught herself enough self control that she thought she could get through each day without impulsively producing any fires. As long as she could make the time each day to do it when no one was looking...

She closed her eyes, knowing the next part of her story would break her. Alice, seemingly aware of her thoughts, gently laid a hand on hers.

"Your ninth birthday..." she said and looked at her carefully.

Bella nodded and stared blankly at the grass in front of her, aware that her eyes were already brimming with tears.

"There were only a couple of guests that night, a close friend of Charlie's and his wife," she said. Bella had no friends to invite. "I was being good. Being normal. After dinner Charlie left to get more beer."

Alice squeezed her hand, and Bella's breathing sped up.

"I don't remember what we argued about," she lied. "I was very upset though, more upset than I'd ever been before."

The tears were freely sliding down her face, which was contorted in anguish. Jasper let out a soft whimper. She felt him trying to send a wave of calm in her direction, but she was too far gone for that to have any effect.

"Something...shifted," she whispered. "Deep inside. That's the only way I can think to describe it. And then...it all came out. I didn't know how to stop it. It felt like it was pouring out of me...but it happened much faster than that. One second, my mother was standing in front of me. The next...she was gone. So was the house. So was half the neighborhood."

Bella shut her eyes and tried to stem the rolling sobs that were starting to build, knowing it was no use. For the next few minutes the only sounds to be heard in that part of the woods were Bella's uncontrollable crying.

* * *

Each of the Cullens stood perfectly still, eyes trained on the young girl. Jasper focused his abilities on them since anything-anything was more bearable than Bella's current emotions. He felt nothing but sadness and love from Esme, nothing he didn't expect. Carlisle, while also deeply moved by Bella's story, felt a burning curiosity. He could tell his father was itching to start asking her questions. Jasper caught his eyes and shook his head. Behind them, Edward still hadn't moved on from disbelief. Emmett, ever the shining knight whenever it came to his Bella Bear, felt a surge of protectiveness for her. He wished he could find a way to make Bella's pain recede...he hated seeing her like this. But he was also torn between his emotions for Bella and for his wife. He cast her furtive glances and quickly looked away. Jasper knew why. He winced as he focused his gift on the blonde. Rosalie felt a cold rage...rage against the fire that had mutilated Bella so, rage against her mother for not trying hard enough, rage against her father for abandoning her at her hour of need. But she felt a betrayal too...against Alice and Jasper for knowing what they knew, and against Bella herself for keeping this from her.

Alice, who was sitting partly behind Bella in order to offer a half embrace, held her hand again when her sobs died down and said, "you didn't live with your aunt."

"No," Bella shook her head. "I don't have any aunts."

"Where did you live, Bella?" Esme spoke up.

Bella looked up for the first time. Jasper sighed in relief that it was Esme's loving face that Bella saw first.

"Nowhere," she replied. "Everywhere."

She looked down again quickly. It took them a second to realize what she was saying. This time Jasper felt the shocked disbelief from all of them.

"This is dangerous," Edward hissed softly. They all, minus Bella of course, surreptitiously glared at him.

He continued though, undeterred. "If any of this is even true, then we are in the most serious trouble of our lives. She has the power to end us! And she obviously has no control over it!"

"Edward," Rosalie started, "So help me god, if you don't shut up right this second _I_ will be the one to end you."

"Dude forget it," Emmett said, staring incredulously at his brother. "We're not leaving her. It's not up for negotiation."

"I'm sorry Edward," Jasper said. "But I won't leave her at her father's mercy."

"Actually, Edward may have a point," Carlisle said. He grimaced at the soft hisses, including one from his wife, sent his way. "Not for our safety but for hers. Her proximity to us _does_ put her at a higher risk with the Volturi. And I fear to think what Aro would do if he finds a gifted person such as Bella. He would stop at nothing to acquire her."

"And in the meantime, she's one emotional meltdown away from blowing us up." Edward looked at his father and siblings like they were crazy. "You saw the damage out there. If Alice and Jasper were any closer they may very well have perished."

* * *

Bella closed her eyes and wished she could block this out. She was touched by her friends' steadfast defence...but deeply hurt that Carlisle was considering Edward's words. He didn't sound concerned at all. Was it because he had lived for so long that he didn't recognize the depth of Bella's feelings for him? She had thought...a man like him who would "adopt" these "kids"...who had built his family so carefully over the course of a century...she thought that maybe, just maybe a man like that might someday love her as he loved his other kids.

This was going to change everything, she thought sadly. The tears were in danger of returning. The worst thing was that deep in her heart she knew Edward, and Carlisle too, were right. Aro sounded like a collector. He would want her, and he would make sure he got her no matter who stood in his way. Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett, Esme...they would stand between her and any danger...and they'd perish for her, either by the Volturi's hand or her own. She had to protect them somehow. There had to be a way.

Next to her, Alice stiffened and gasped loudly. Bella jerked in surprise and glanced at her...only to find horrified shock etched in her golden eyes as the girl stared her down wordlessly.

Bella understood what that meant. Alice had seen what she'd just made up her mind to say...what she'd made up her mind to do.

She took a deep breath, rose to her feet, and looked at each of them..saving Rosalie for last.

"Edward's right," she said as she looked longingly into Rosalie's eyes. "Fire is the one thing that can end your existence. I'm too dangerous to remain with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your reviews keep my heart going! Tell me what you think!


	30. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's Note: Sorry this is late. I had Valentine's Day obligations on Thursday, and I got home so late last night I fell asleep writing. This chapter and the last have been seriously emotionally draining for me. I'm tuckered out.

The seconds ticked by in absolute silence. Around Bella, the Cullens were frozen still, staring at her. Bella's eyes remained on Rosalie, whose own face was finally starting to betray the horror that was creeping over her.

"Bella, what are you saying?" Carlisle asked her slowly.

She finally tore her gaze from Rosalie's. Alice and Jasper rose and stood together to the side. They too were staring at her in shock.

Bella sighed. "I know...everything. I know what you are."

"You know...HOW?" Edward hissed.

She looked at him. "By accident," she said. "Two days after you came back from Denali...that's when I found out."

"That was almost two months ago..." Jasper whispered.

"I don't get it Bells. What did we do? How did you find out?" Emmett asked.

"You did nothing," Bella said firmly. "None of you did anything that led me on. It wasn't like that. It was..."

This power was far more difficult to explain. Really, it sounded ridiculous when Bella tried to come up with the words.

"Fire isn't the only...talent I have," she explained. "I can...manipulate wind. I don't understand it, but it allows me to parse through a lot more noise than other people can handle or comprehend. I can hear you. When you speak too low and fast for humans to hear, I can hear you. That's how I know. That morning in the school parking lot...after Edward came back...you were arguing about...me... and I heard everything. I'm sorry, truly. It wasn't intentional. I didn't know I could even do that. And ever since...I tried to step out of the room when you'd speak like that to avoid listening...but you did it so often. I couldn't help it. I didn't say anything so you wouldn't get in trouble with the Volturi."

She looked down again...anything to avoid Rosalie's horrified gaze.

"All this time," Alice whispered. "You knew. You came to our house, napped in my car, spent countless hours with us, alone. You must have heard how your scent affects us. That we had to restrain Edward to stop him from killing you. This never bothered you?!"

Bella looked up in confusion, and saw that Alice's bewildered expression was mirrored on all the of the Cullens' faces. Her heart fell in understanding. They don't get it, she thought. They haven't grasped the magnitude of what Bella had told them.

Her heart hammered in her chest and her fists tightened. Tell them everything, she thought.

"How many times have you lost control?" She asked, looking at Alice sadly. "Since you became...vegetarian...how many times have you taken a life because you couldn't control your thirst?"

Alice, for the first time since she'd known her, looked helplessly small. She shrank back into Jasper's arms.

"Two," she whispered.

Bella looked at Jasper. "Four," he said.

One by one, each of them quietly revealed to Bella how many innocent lives they'd taken. With the exception of Carlisle and Edward, all of them had erred since vowing never to drink human blood. She counted a death toll of 12.

She took in a harsh breath and fought to control her emotions, which were struggling and distressed with what she was about to reveal.

"That night," she said softly, referring to her 9th birthday, "328 people were killed. More than a third of them were children."

She felt the tears starting to creep down her face again.

"Afterwards, it was impossible to control it. The fires...the explosions...they'd come at random. Never as strong as the first time, but strong enough. Anytime I felt... _anything_ , it would happen. Everything around me would combust. I did everything I could. I kept my distance from towns. Traveled at night...it didn't matter. 180 more people died because of me."

She knew every name. There were 508 sets of faces, birthdays, and brief tidbits of information stored in her mind. She knew that the youngest, a one-year old named Jonah, had said his first word a week before his death. She knew that Stephanie McKenna and George Hess were newlyweds out on a camping trip. She knew Tessa Michelin was about to leave for Arizona State, the first one in her family to get into college. She had read and memorized every obituary, every memorial page...

"So you see," she whispered. "I'm the monster here, not you."

Bella closed her eyes. She couldn't bear to see what they were thinking. They would see now...they would see how dangerous she really was. Granted, she was infinitely better at controlling herself than she was those first terrible years. But in less than four months she'd already lost control twice. Not to mention the many close calls she knew she had averted. Who was to say if the next time it happened, one of them stood too close and got caught in her wave of destruction? Immortality aside, they were vulnerable to fire. She shuddered to think of Esme or Alice, Emmett, Jasper, or Rosalie...Rosalie...reduced to ashes. The thought brought bile to her throat.

* * *

"Oh sweetheart," Esme said, sadly.

Jasper held onto his wife. He was starting to feel dizzy from the turbulent emotions in this small clearing. He had never felt so much guilt and remorse from one person. It was an impossible thought to consider that Bella felt like this on a regular basis. Worse yet, that she went through this all alone for so long. It was a testament to her strength that she was even capable of joy. Her spirit was intact but he feared she was close to the edge.

The numbers were slowly sinking in. More than 500...Of the family, he alone probably killed as many, if not more people during his long and bloody life. He had long ago made peace with the past. Not that it was an excuse, but he _was_ a vampire. Until he met Alice he didn't know there was another way. Their faces haunted him, but for 60 years he swallowed the painful venom and made the effort. With his family's help, he had accomplished what few vampires ever could. That knowledge helped offset the guilt he'd occasionally feel for the dead.

 _How_ did this child survive? How did she shoulder the responsibility? The knowledge of causing her own mother's death? Of so, so many others'? Jasper knew much of the shock emanating from his family fell more in line with his thoughts than any others. They too could not comprehend Bella's existence. That she could control wind and fire, though mind-boggling by itself, was less of an issue than her miraculous survival.

Edward was the only exception.

Like Rosalie, Edward never felt comfortable with his lot in life. Unlike Rosalie though, his preoccupation with their stolen humanity had more to do with a deeply set religious belief than with vanity. Edward truly believed they were without souls. He believed that this so-called eternal life they led was a mere purgatory, and that at its end there would only be a hellfire waiting for them. Needless to say, this colored his view on life rather negatively.

Jasper was reminded of this as he focused his ability on his brother, because he felt from Edward the same emotions he usually felt when his mind turned to morality. Amidst the usual absence of hope, Jasper felt an unfamiliar sense of bitterness.

* * *

Edward stared hard at Bella, trying to reconcile the crying, shaken girl in front of him with the beast that had claimed 500 lives. His own emotions were difficult for him interpret. He knew he felt terror and disgust during Bella's speech. 500 innocents. Even the vampires hadn't sinned so...starkly. His own record was impeccable. Oh, he didn't count the would-be rapists and murderers he'd disposed off when he left home so long ago. He hadn't lost control then. And they were most certainly not innocents.

It would be a lie if he claimed not to fear Bella. It was ludicrous, he knew, that a human could make him feel so small and vulnerable. But Bella was currently undergoing an emotional crisis...and they were standing in a semi-circle around her. A quick explosions from her was all it would take to wipe out their coven. The fire in the forest came back to the forefront of his mind. She had reduced miles of woodland to ashes. They could be next.

She _is_ a monster, he thought. Such a gift was unheard of in the Vampire world. A human with this power was...unthinkable. Yet here she was...a child with the ability to wipe out the Vampire existence. She's killed so many. Edward was no fool-it was clear she felt remorse for what she had done. But at what point would she stop feeling guilty? He understood criminals...he had listened to so many of their minds before he'd ended them. Cold-blooded murderers justify their actions after a time. The thoughts strewing about in his siblings' and parents' minds suggested they believed because Bella had no control over the beast, she should not be held accountable for her crimes. How many times had he heard that one, he thought bitterly. All of the murderers he'd disposed of had begged for their lives...begged for him to understand that they couldn't help it.

No. She _could_ help it. She _does_ have control. She survived this long by herself...she must have been able to walk into a store or into an orphanage. She must have found the strength to deal with people. And if she had that strength, she should've used it more wisely. She should've gone to a more deserted location. She should've gone north, to the arctic or Siberia. She had seven years. More importantly, he knew what he would've done if he could...but Vampires are immortal, humans are not. She should've killed herself. No one person should be allowed to cause the destruction that she has in her short life. Edward found it impossible to pity her as his family did. If she felt so terrible over the lives she'd ruined, why didn't she end her own? Her _mother_ was dead because of her! He imagined what his guilt would be like if he caused his own mother's death. He could barely grasp at it. Without a doubt, if he was in Bella's shoes he would've found a way to cease living.

Edward wished his heart would stop contradicting his mind. Because despite his disgust and righteous outlook against Bella, he was torn... He continued to glare at her, but his mind scanned his family's and was now inside Rosalie's. His sister, who was still trying to process that Bella knew what they were, was currently going through her memories of her time with the girl and looking for any hint of apprehension or caution from Bella. The only such emotions she detected had to do with avoiding romance than with avoiding Rosalie's fangs.

If he wasn't so practiced with reading others, Edward might have gotten lost in her memories. Through Rosalie, he saw countless moments in which she was dangerously close to ignoring her self-imposed barriers and just kissing the girl. He saw nights spent within an arm's length of one another...both of them desperate but holding steadfast against moving closer.

But what evoked the strange, new bitterness he felt was her memory of yesterday afternoon. It should have been him, he realized with a start. That should have been him sitting next to Bella on the piano, creating music together. All along, it should have been him. It all made sense now. His reaction to her scent. Her ability to block him. She was the only person in the world he had to work to understand...the only person that made him try. It was why he asked her so many questions the few times they were together. For nearly a hundred years, Edward has never had to work to get to know someone...until Bella.

He understood now why he had been so horrified with Rosalie's desire to mate with her. Oh he still disapproved on moral grounds. Rosalie and Emmett were treating their marriage far too cavalierly. What they're planning is most definitely not ok in the eyes of God...even for a vampire. Marriage and mating were sacred in Edward's eyes, especially since of all of them he had been trapped alone for so long. Rosalie's plan to desecrate hers...with a woman...and with Emmett's approval made him sick. But his own feelings for Bella, he realized, were far more powerful than his disgust for his siblings. Bella was perfect...for him. She was supposed to be his mate. Finally, after a century of waiting, this was the perfect, the only one for him. And he was so close to losing her forever. He had to stop it from happening. He could hear Rosalie's thoughts...what she wanted to do. No!

* * *

Inhale for 5 seconds. Exhale for 5 seconds. Inhale for 6 seconds. Exhale for 6 seconds. Bella slowly calmed herself using one of the hundreds of techniques she had learned over the years. Esme's words brought her out of the darkness. In her eyes, she saw compassion and love. Carlisle too, looked at her with sadness and understanding. Could it be? Could she find a way to get through this...with them?

Then Edward spoke.

"Since you know so much, are you also aware that Rosalie and Emmett are married?"

Bella's heart froze. He wasn't saying what she thought he was saying, right? Her eyes snapped to his, and she silently begged him not to go there. Please, please don't go there.

At the same time, six pairs of eyes narrowed at the boy. Rosalie and Emmett started to growl.

"Edward," said Carlisle, warningly.

"Well? Are you?" He continued undeterred.

Bella nodded. "Yes," she whispered.

"Then what exactly did you think was going to happen? That she would leave her husband for you? That she would abandon a 70-year marriage for a human girl? For you?"

Everyone froze in shock at his words. Jasper nearly doubled over from Bella's pain. Rosalie's lips curled back. Had Edward glanced at her he would've had to close his eyes in terror. Never had Rosalie's eyes shone with as much brilliant hatred and anger as they had at this moment. But Edward didn't take his eyes off of Bella, who stood before him trembling.

The pain hit her like a thousand knives, as usual. But this time it was compounded by a deep sadness and guilt so strong her knees started shaking. It was all she could do to look at Rosalie and Emmett, who were now turning back to face her. Bella shook her head over and over again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered in anguish through the gushing tears. "I'm so sorry."

With one last look at her Rosalie, who would never really be hers, she turned and ran. A mile away she unleashed a trail of fire the Cullens would be unable to follow, and a strong gust of wind that would erase her scent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note II: So yeah, Edward' an ass. Im sure I'll get a lot of that in the reviews. But I hope the insight into his mind makes him a 3-dimensional ass. He has his reasons. I hope, after you spend some time stewing in anger, you can pity him a little.
> 
> Anyway, I hope to hear from you.


	31. Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
> 
> Author's note: I know this is short, but I'm going to try to get you another chapter by the end of the day. Yay, president's day and obligatory government holidays!

Only a few times in her life had Bella ever run this fast. She wasn't sure if you could even call it running...she was all but invisible as she shot through the grass like a bullet. This kind of running involved wind and fire together. Normally she'd be too cautious to use fire intentionally, but this was an exceptional situation. She didn't know how fast vampires could travel and she needed to make sure they couldn't catch up.

So she ran and ran, using all of her strength, her endurance, and the extent of her powers, until she couldn't run anymore. When she finally stopped, her legs no longer able to carry her weight, it was dusk. Her watch told her she'd run for 9 hours. She looked at her surroundings as she collapsed into the field of corn where she had stopped. There was nothing but a sea of green and gold everywhere she looked but she knew exactly where she was. She was 11 the last time she was in Iowa. She guessed, if her quick calculations were correct, that she was about 80 miles southwest of Des Moines. Too exhausted to marvel at the distance she'd managed to travel, Bella put her head down on the dirt and fell unconscious.

* * *

Water...water. That was the only word that ran through Bella's mind as she awoke the next day. The sun was high in the sky and she felt the worst thirst she had felt in years. Stumbling onto her knees, she brushed off the bugs that had made her warm body home the night before, and rose gingerly to stick her head out of the corn.

Nobody. She didn't expect to see anyone out here but old habits die hard, and hers were reinstating themselves even as she took her first steps. Listen. She listened carefully, extending her ability far in the distance around her even though she could hardly think from the thirst.

There. A house, a little under two miles away to the east. There were people as well but she'd worry about that when she got there. She needed water, fast. Not so fast though, she reminded herself. Her rules were in full effect now. She needed to follow them to the letter as she had during her last two years in exile. Those rules were probably the only reason she was never caught and, more importantly, why no one was killed those years.

Travel at normal speed unless you're losing control. That was one of the rules. Running as fast as she was capable of took a lot out of her, and she needed all her strength in case she felt the fire rise up. But there was a simple, practical reason too. Using up her strength like that made her very hungry and she never had enough food or water for a normal day, let alone when her metabolism went through the roof as it did after running.

Avoid roads as much as possible. Walking along the side of a road was an invitation for all kinds of trouble, especially for a young woman. Worse than the shady predators that wandered through the country however, were the good samaritans who would try to help a young, obviously lost girl. She had made that mistake once early on. While walking down a road shortly after the incident, an elderly couple stopped their car and tried to help her. In a burst of surprise and relief, she caused an explosion that destroyed them along with four other passing cars and their passengers. 14 people including that couple died. She never again took a road to travel between towns.

When she got close enough to the house to be able to see inside, she stopped and hid in a thick patch of orchard trees. This is close enough, she reminded herself. If you're going to take any kind of action, do it at night when everyone's asleep. She couldn't go inside now, no matter how much her thirst tortured her. She would wait until cover of darkness. In the meantime though, she thought with a small smile, she'd make do with some fruit. Two apples from the tree above her zoomed into her waiting hands as she carefully stepped back into the cover of the corn field. Keep your distance, her mind recited as she bit blissfully into one of the apples.

Bella chose a spot a mile from the house-close enough that she could listen if she chose to yet far enough for her to feel somewhat safe to think and feel as she pleased. She was so tired...tired enough that it was unlikely the monster would show itself today. Her body ached from yesterday's run. Her emotions were drained. Her mind too focused on quenching the thirst to be of any use to her. But as she worked on her second apple she slowly regained the power to think. She closed her eyes, laid back and stretched her limbs on the cool dirt. One hand remained close to her heart, clutching tightly at Rosalie's necklace.

These fields...She had spent a lot of time tramping farms such as this, especially when she was smaller. A 15 or 16-year old could roam a small town's streets during the day with nary a second glance unless it was during school hours. A 10-year old could not. And so her first years on her own were spent hiding out in thick corn and wheat fields like this, as well as the wild Appalachia country. It was so hard back then. Not only did she have to deal with the uncontrollable fire and the yet-unfamiliar pain it brought, she had to learn how to survive in complete isolation. These fields probably saved her life, she thought, reflecting on a particularly horrible stretch of time during which she nearly starved. Every time she approached a house or a store, no matter how hard she tried to keep her emotions tempered, something exploded nearby triggering a wall of flames. She had lain in a field like this, emaciated and expecting death, when, on a whim she reached out and took a bite from a corn still on the cob. It was a little bitter but edible. That corn and whatever she managed to shake down from orchard trees kept her alive for nearly a year while she worked at calming her emotions. There were a lot of unexplained wildfires in the Midwest that year.

The improvement from age 9 to 10 was dramatic. By the following winter, she was able to sneak into homes for food and small necessities without hurting anyone. For Christmas that year, she rewarded herself with her first trip to a library since the night her mother died. The satisfaction was short-lived however. The library had computers. It was during that Christmas eve that Bella learned the true extent of the destruction she had caused on her 9th birthday. News reports, pictures, interviews, obituaries...and 328 people dead because of her. That library burned down that night, though thankfully no one was close enough to get killed.

It was then that she first became aware of her limitless mind. Running through a field of wheat with her eyes shut, the fire in the library raging behind her, she tried and tried to forget the names and the pictures of the dead. She couldn't. Every face was etched in her mind and in perfect detail, and would remain so forever. Later, when she calmed somewhat, she slowly realized that she could remember details of the last year in a similar photographic fashion. Though it would become critical to her survival over the upcoming years, Bella often cursed her perfect memory...and she cursed it again now.

As she watched the thin wisps of clouds pass by overhead, Bella wondered again at her memory. It was a question she often pondered...whether it was a gift or a curse. Her memory allowed her to keep track of her route through the countryside. It allowed her to easily distinguish between edible and poisonous plants after one reading of an appropriate book. But it also meant she would never find peace. She would never forget that old man and woman's concerned faces as they tried to offer her shelter. Her memory of her mother would always be ringed in fire. And now, though all but a fraction of her life had been spent in brutal loneliness, she couldn't force herself to forget the strange aberration that was the last few happy months.

She wanted so badly to forget. But the more Bella pleaded with her mind to move on, the stronger the Cullens' hold proved to be. With the Cullens, Bella had found a warmth and fulfillment she had never before known. Even her happiest memories with her parents were marred by their unease with her abnormality. Though they didn't have the slightest idea what they were harboring, Bella still felt a wonderful ease with them that, from the beginning, convinced her to give them-to give herself a chance. And until yesterday she had succeeded. Not only did she avoid accidents while in their presence, she managed to forge powerful bonds with almost each member of the family. After adjusting to their secret, Bella found herself not fearful but elated that her adopted family consisted of vampires. They might understand, she had thought to herself. Of all people, this family could've understood what she had gone through.

Her fingers softly caressed the necklace. None of that matters anymore, she reminded herself. You betrayed them in the worst way. Emmett doesn't deserve what you've done to him. And Rosalie...Bella could only pray that yesterday's revelation doesn't break up their marriage. She hoped Rosalie knew her husband well enough to be able to fix the wrongs that they had almost done. As for her, Bella hoped one day she might stop seeing Rosalie's face when she closed her eyes.

* * *

That night, Bella did what she had done a thousand times before. When her ears detected a chorus of soft rhythmic breathing, she made her way to the house. With one look, the back door unlocked itself. As softly as she could, Bella opened the door and floated inside. Take only enough for a day, she reminded herself. But first...water. After she had her fill, she found an old backpack in a storage closet, filled it with several bottles of water and a few snacks to get her through the next 24 hours, and exited the home, locking the door behind her.

She would have to get used to the hunger again, she thought, sighing. If she'd been living on what Charlie's money could buy and the hot plate in her shed, she might not have as big an adjustment to make. But it wasn't going to be so easy going cold turkey on Esme's cooking. After months of forcing herself, she had finally somewhat gotten used to eating like a normal person should-if you could count Esme's mouth-watering fare normal. That was gluttony compared to what Bella would have to retrain herself for now.

Bella looked to the stars to guide her and started walking. 60 miles away, Shenandoah's library closed early most days and last she checked it didn't have security cameras. There was an old upright there too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note II: Bella's super fast running is like a bullet from a gun. Fire provides the thrust, while wind carries her momentum.


	32. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Bella groaned as the sound of an extremely loud truck's horn woke her up. This was quickly starting to annoy her, she thought as she stirred from the uncomfortable cement floor that was her bed that day. There weren't many wild forests in this part of the country, and although there were plenty of fields where she could spend her days, their monotony rapidly grew rather boring. The last time she was here all those years ago she was kept fairly busy learning to control her emotions.

She sighed and got up to gather her things. Sleeping on the roof of a meat processing plant was not the best idea she'd had. Trucks rumbled to and fro at all hours, day and night. And the sounds of the slaughter inside was starting to be too much. But aside from camping in the tall wheat fields there really wasn't much choice. When she wasn't traveling, she spent her nights in whatever closest town's public library and, on occasion, hanging out in a shuttered school. But during the day when she slept, she was unfortunately stuck with only a few unappealing choices.

She needed to move on, that was clear. Her stomach grumbled in agreement. Test yourself first, she thought firmly. Cringing, she slowly let down her guard and called on her mental image of Rosalie. As usual, she felt the pain of her loss and the guilt of her betrayal, as well as the searing pain of the fire rising up inside her. But she concentrated hard and, after a few seconds, it died down. Deep breathes. Ok, let's get out of here.

A week wasn't a long a time but it felt like eternity to Bella. At least this week had. Bella tried to blame it on the endless farms that stretched beyond the horizon all around her, but she feared it was more than that. Those farms had never bothered her in the past. She wasn't _happy_ before, but she _was_ somewhat content with her days wandering the country. If you took the fire, the pain, the hunger, sleeping on rooftops and trees, and the whole killing people thing out of the equation, Bella was technically living many people's idea of freedom. She experienced the wild the way few people got to experience it. And she had her music and her books.

But it wasn't enough anymore, she thought sadly as a tear ran down her face. She wanted more. She missed Emmett's booming laughter and Alice's incessant shopping sprees. She missed sitting quietly with Jasper and Carlisle, each absorbed in their books. She missed Esme's warmth and compassion. And she missed Rosalie's fiery eyes that always seemed to communicate more than the girl ever spoke. She missed her voice, her soft smiles, even her growling. Hell, she even missed pretending to care about cars just so she could sit in the garage handing her tools.

Bella had spent nearly half her life punishing herself for what she had done. But it looked like she'd created a worse punishment for herself than she'd ever dared to imagine. Because the ache she felt as she thought of the family she couldn't have was far more potent than anything the fire could do to her. She had gotten a taste of ambrosia only for it to be snatched away forever.

You have much to pay for, she reminded herself. She wiped the tear from her face and gritted her teeth. She was close to the border anyway...Why not? Colorado had plenty of scenic outdoors where she could seek refuge. And it had some great libraries.

* * *

Now this is more like it, Bella thought, looking up at the rugged mountains in the distance. The first time she came to Roosevelt National Forest, she had fallen in love with the landscape and spent several months hiking off-trail. She was 15, and by then had developed much better control over the demon and had gotten relatively used to her solitary existence. The only challenge she faced in the vast forest was finding food. There were no supermarkets or patrons stuffed with cash after all. But between her skill with finding edible plants and vastly improved telekinesis she managed to get by...mostly on granola bars, beef jerky, hot dogs and nuts foraged from sleeping campers. Better than the bears, she used to laugh to herself.

It almost felt normal, hiking through the wilderness. That's probably why she enjoyed it so much. At that age, she looked like a regular kid with a taste for adventure. She used to pretend she was a famous explorer and make little games to get through each day. Bella knew how many steps it took to climb the park's highest peak. She knew that every fire pit and picnic table in this forest had her initials scrawled somewhere on them...though most people who saw the letters "B.S" probably thought they stood for something else.

She looked at her watch to confirm the time. It had taken her another eight days to get here from just outside of Colby, Kansas. Not bad, considering she did nothing more than walk the 300 miles. She walked for about 10 hours each day and stopped only to find food and a few new books from any bookstore she passed. By the time she set her newly acquired gear on the shore of Chasm Lake, she was in need of a well-earned rest.

She plopped down a little too hard on the ground and cursed, remembering how rocky this place was. She chose this particular spot for its isolation. Its dearth of foliage made it unpopular for overnight campers...not to mention it was pretty difficult for any but the most hardcore hikers to make the trek up or down Longs Peak, the barren mountain that covered this lake in its shadow. No, it was unlikely she'd come across anyone here tonight.

"You are one difficult human to track down, Bella Bear."

Bella gasped in shock. Emmett Cullen was standing not twenty feet away from her.

* * *

**Author's note I: Something tells me if I stop this here, one of you will find my address, sneak into my house and bite me. Luckily for my neck...**

* * *

"Don't you dare run!" Emmett shouted.

Bella was indeed already on her feet and about to break for it, but something in his voice made her stop. She took a deep breath and turned around.

None of the Cullens had ever looked less than runway glamorous all the time, but Emmett looked...almost run down. Granted, he could still turn heads if he chose to pose for Calvin Klein exactly as he looked now, but knowing him as she did, Bella could see that all was not well with her friend.

"How did you find me?" She whispered.

"Alice," he said and shook his head. "Would've caught up to you a lot sooner if you weren't blocking her. She didn't move for days after you left, trying to see where you'd finally end up."

Bella didn't know how to respond to that so she stayed silent. If Emmett was here on some kind of mission to reclaim his honor she'd let him say whatever he needed to say. She was in no position to argue or make demands.

Emmett sighed and, not taking his eyes off of her, moved to sit down on Bella's blanket.

"Can you please sit down?" He asked. "I need to say a few things and I'd like to not worry that you'll disappear to Mexico while I'm talking. Please, Bella."

Bella slowly walked closer and sat down at his side. This close to him, she couldn't bring herself to look at his face.

Emmett chose not to comment on her wandering gaze. He too looked to the distance at the rocky slopes in front of them.

"You are one hell of a girl," he said softly. "When Rosalie told me what happened the night you first met...when I saw how shaken she was from the few minutes you two had shared...I knew right then, before even Rosalie understood, that she would fall for you."

Bella's breath hitched in her throat. She didn't take her eyes off of the rocks by her feet.

"She saved me, you know," he said. "When I was human. I was out roughing it in a place like this and got myself mauled by a bear. I was dying, Bells, and there was so much blood. She carried me over a 100 miles to Carlisle so he'd turn me. I fell for her right away though it took her a little while to admit her feelings. But once she did...once she opened her eyes...Rose doesn't make decisions lightly you see, so when she makes them she holds true. And sure enough, she decided to give me a chance...to give herself a chance at happiness...and we've been going strong since."

"You've been listening to us for a while," he continued. "Did you hear anything...do you understand the concept of a mate?"

Bella shook her head.

Emmett sighed. "There's a lot of mumbo jumbo with Vampires I'm sure you'll come to learn about in the future. Mating is one of the few I understand, mainly because I've actually lived it. Rosalie is my mate. She's the one person in the world that completes me, and the one person who seems to understand me better than I do myself. She can feel my emotions and read my thoughts in a way no empath or mindreader can. She is literally my world."

Bella closed her eyes and felt a painful pang in her chest.

"This sounds familiar, doesn't it?" He asked softly.

She nodded slowly, still unable to use her voice. Rosalie's effect on her was like a lightning storm sometimes. She could make her feel like they were the only people on Earth, even in the middle of class surrounded by antsy kids.

"It's the same for her," Emmett whispered. He put a hand on hers. "She loves you...as much as she loves me."

The tears came before she knew what was happening. A soft whimper escaped her lips as she turned to look at him.

"I'm so sorry, Em," she cried out through the tears.

Emmett moved closer so he could wrap an arm around her. "Don't be," he said. "There's nothing shameful in falling in love, Bells...no matter the circumstances. It's the best thing for a human and it's the best thing for a vampire. It's proof, to me at least, that we're not all doomed to hell like...some of us think we are."

They sat like this for a while longer...Emmett softly caressing Bella's hair while her tears continued to fall.

"Bella," he said. "I love my wife. I want her to be happy and can't stand when she's in pain. I...I love you too Bells. After Rosalie, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me-or any of us for that matter. I won't lie to you...it's not easy admitting I'm not enough for her. But...it helps that I know her so well. She's never lied to me. When she says her love for me has never faded in all these years, I believe her."

"Most people would say I'm crazy. But you do pretty crazy things for the person you love. You'd do just about anything for them...even share them with someone else. Because, in this crazy situation, I don't think Rosalie will have to love either of us any less. I think that when you entered her life, Rosalie's heart got that much bigger. And she needs you...she needs us both to fill it."

For the first time since he started talking, Emmett's voice quivered. "Rosalie's been in hell since you left. I've never seen her like this. I can't...I can't put her back together by myself anymore. Please, Bella. I need your help. She needs you. Please come back."

Bella continued to shake quietly in Emmett's arms as she tried to take in everything he'd said. He was giving her permission...she could hardly comprehend it, but he was actually giving her his blessing. Bella couldn't find any words...

He wants to share. Bella was alone for so long that many things, such as homosexuality, never struck the nerve that they did for most other people. She never learned, except second-hand through her books, that it was relatively queer for a woman to love another woman romantically. So when it happened to her, she never experienced the panic or soul-searching most novels' characters went through. It was as natural as breathing. But a relationship with three people? Even Bella, with her limited understanding of humanity, knew that was...odd. It would be two relationships, she reminded herself, not one. _He_ doesn't want to be with you, she thought. Was this even possible?

Two...physical relationships, maybe. But for something like this to work there would have to be a relationship that encompassed all three of them as well. Emmett spoke so openly with her just now...he would have to be able to continue to do that even after...and so would she. So would Rosalie.

Her heart felt like it would burst with joy. There was a way...

Her grip on Emmett tightened as she lifted her eyes to meet his. She tried to detect any doubt, any hesitation in them. She couldn't.

Emmett smiled. His eyes shone with relief and happiness as she slowly nodded.

"Let's go home," he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note II: I started writing this 4 weeks ago exactly. Thank you all so much for reading and leaving your feedback. I can't tell you how happy you've made me. Here's to 4 weeks more!


	33. Rosalie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not known Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: It's been 5 days! Alas! How could you, Darcy? I'll tell you...it's all the fault of one fanfic author names Slygoddess. She's got the best fem!Harry (that's Harry Potter born a girl) story I've ever come across (A Butterfly Effect), but hasn't updated the thing in over a YEAR. Wednesday, she came out with a new chapter at last...and it was over 38,000 words long. So yeah...blame her. Then go read her story.

Alice sighed in relief when she heard the music start. That should buy them a few hours at least. She glanced at Esme and knew they were thinking the same thing...Rosalie on the piano was a hell of a lot better than Rosalie with...other activities she had taken to of late. At least she stopped trying to kill Edward...

The last two weeks have been nothing short of a nightmare for the family. The day Bella left...when it became clear that following her trail or her scent would be impossible...Rosalie damn near exploded. Even with Emmett trying to hold her back, and despite Esme and Carlisle standing between her and Edward, she still managed to tear the boy's arms off before they finally calmed her down. Jasper, unable to handle her crazed emotions, had chased after Bella until he lost her scent. As for Alice...after the excitement died away she had sat down and willingly forced herself through the biggest headache of her life. Over an hour of intense concentration...and still no visions of Bella...

"Any news from Emmett?" Carlisle asked cautiously.

Alice shook her head. Beside her, Jasper released another wave of calm in Rosalie's direction.

Carlisle sighed as his gaze fell on Rosalie's back. Alice's own bond with Jasper allowed her to feel some of what her husband could feel, and right now Carlisle was trying to quell his own feelings of guilt. All of them were privately wondering if there was anything they could have said or done to prevent their current misery. Carlisle, when Esme wouldn't talk to him for days after Bella left, finally realized his small part in driving the girl away.

"She's very fond of you," Jasper had explained. "More than she's ever let on."

Jasper proceeded to fill them all in on what he had witnessed thus far of Bella's relationship with her father. Now that they had some context, things made a little more sense. But it only served to increase Carlisle's guilt as he realized just how much he meant to Bella. If the silent treatment from his wife was an indication, he was the only one aside from Edward who did not see this in time.

Edward...the most difficult thing about all this was his eldest son. Edward was his first companion. His gift had helped Carlisle rely on him a great deal over the years. This was the first time in their century together that Carlisle felt led astray, and it was a difficult pill to swallow. Bella's gifts were highly unusual, that was true. And perhaps it was also true that they were far too volatile to be safe...at one time. But the magnitude of the destruction she caused on her 9th birthday and the struggles she'd dealt with since...the fact that she had lost control just once in all her time here, and that she was aware enough to steer clear of people when it happened suggested she had come a long way since her mother's death. It was a miracle, really, what she had accomplished on her own. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced he could help her. He had helped his family through their blood lust after all...surely that was a more difficult ordeal than Bella's.

Carlisle only wished he could have thought of all this when it would have counted...when Bella stood helpless before them. More than that, he wished he was able to make Edward see. After they got over the initial shock...after they reattached Edward's arms and Rosalie stopped coming after him, he had a long talk with his son. All their "lives", though they've acted the part of a family, they always understood and respected each others' boundaries. Edward had a father once after all. All of them, with the exception of Alice, could remember a time with real parents and siblings. Carlisle was always careful never to try to take away from their memories however tenuous they might be. It would be improper to impose a set of rules and morality on others that, by right, did not really "belong" to him. The only rule in their household was the vegetarian one. Everything else came along with the years. Little by little, each of them started genuinely acting more like a family. Carlisle and Esme took their roles as parents seriously enough that they often truly did feel like they were of the same flesh. And Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett...they were all so young when they were turned...not children, but young enough to quickly adjust to being the "kids" in the family.

Edward was a different story however. Perhaps it was because he and the boy had a decade together alone. Perhaps it was because he was the first. Or perhaps his gift had made him think he were omnipotent. Whatever the cause, Edward has always acted the role of detached leader. Carlisle had a feeling that if Edward looked older than himself, he would have long ago established himself as the head of their coven. However, as far as Edward went, Carlisle had only himself to blame. He had stood by and allowed Edward to make the family's moving decisions all these years, thinking that he would best know when people's thoughts began to grow suspicious. It wasn't an unintelligent move on his part. But clearly, Edward was not fit for such a responsibility. He had not attained the wisdom necessary for such trust, and Carlisle did not see it until it was too late.

There was hope, though. Even at their darkest moments...when one of them left, when Rosalie went on her rampage of revenge, he and Esme had never given up hope on their family. Even now, after Edward basically had to flee to Denali or risk getting torn to pieces once more, Carlisle held onto the hope that the family would come together again. If only Bella would come back, he thought as he listened to the lifeless notes streaming in from the living room.

* * *

Emmett paid the taxi driver and watched the car roar away. He and Bella continued the remaining miles to the house on foot.

"I'm not sure I follow," Bella started with a frown. "She...ripped his arms off?"

Emmett chuckled. "Yeah, but we put him back together. Good as new. Vampires are made of tough stuff, Bells. Though in Edwards sake...I'm not sure if he'll recover the rest of it."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked, alarmed. "She didn't..."

"No!" Emmett corrected her. "She wanted to, mind you. Would've too, if there weren't enough of us to stop her. No she did something much worse."

"Destroyed his piano," he casually answered her questioning glance. Destroyed the entire music room, he mentally added. And his books. And his music. And probably the structural integrity of his whole bedroom.

He looked down at the girl walking beside him. Though dawn hadn't yet arrived, he could see the concern and guilt on her face. She felt bad for him, he realized. He could only shake his head. How could that foolish boy not see her for what she was?

When the house was finally within sight, he heard the sounds of the piano abruptly stop. Emmett wasn't sure if Bella's crazy ears heard it too. Oh well, there would be time for questions later, he thought.

* * *

Her scent hit them all at the same time. Rosalie gasped, her fingers lifting from the keys as if shocked. Carlisle and Jasper let out a huge sigh of relief. And Alice and Esme-well, they were already outside running toward their favorite human.

"Bella!" Alice screeched and promptly flew into Bella's arms. Just as soon as Bella got over the shock of suddenly carrying the tiny girl, Alice started scolding her.

"Don't you ever, ever do something like that again!" Alice yelled, though she couldn't wipe the huge grin from her face.

Bella was spared having to come up with a response, because just then she found herself wrapped tightly in Esme's embrace.

"It's so good to have you back," Esme whispered.

"I'm...I'm happy to be back too," Bella said. She was quickly starting to feel overwhelmed. She most certainly did not expect this sort of reception.

Carlisle and Jasper reached her a moment later. The latter twirled her around in a big hug before setting her down in front of Carlisle.

Carlisle had a lot he wanted to say but he knew now wasn't the time. Aware that his wife was watching him very closely, he gently cupped Bella's face in his hands and kissed her on the forehead.

"Thank you for coming back," he said as carefully as he could. "We've all missed you terribly."

Bella, who by now could only blink back the happy tears that were threatening to come down, simply smiled and hugged the man back.

Through the hug, she spotted Rosalie, standing perfectly still by the front door.

She thought she had seen everything from Rosalie's eyes. She recalled the shades of hostility from the first week she'd known her. She recalled the ambivalence and reluctance in them the first night. And she remembered every time they brightened with her smiles, every time she spotted panic and worry for her safety, and every time she thought she saw a spark of the unspoken feelings they shared. And of course, she remembered in perfect detail when that spark lit up and her eyes told her everything the day they played together.

How to describe her eyes now? How to dream of characterizing them? Rosalie looked...like hell, indeed. Still flawless to the naked eye, of course. But Bella had the girl memorized. She could see that she looked exhausted...that her clothes were almost unkempt and her hair for once was not 100% in place. But it was her eyes that startled her. Rosalie's eyes looked...dead. For the first time since she'd known her, Bella could believe that the creature standing before her did not have a beating heart.

But just as quickly as Bella could take it all in, the fire that was always somewhere in Rosalie's eyes returned.

"Why don't you two go for a walk," Emmett said quietly.

As soon he said it, Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper darted inside the house. Emmett held Bella in a half hug and whispered, "take care of her," before walking up to the house himself. At the door, Rosalie turned to him and reached for his hand. Without a word, she raised it to her lips and left a long, lingering kiss. Emmett smiled gently and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, then followed his family inside.

* * *

Neither of them said anything until Rosalie was at Bella's side.

"Hi," Bella said, timidly.

"Hi," Rosalie replied and held out her hand. Bella took it, closing her eyes momentarily to her touch.

"There's a spot up the mountain I like..." Bella said softly.

"I can get us there pretty fast," Rosalie said. She knew Bella could run faster even than her if she chose, but if she was honest with herself she just didn't want to let go of the girl's hand.

"Actually," Bella started, looking a little nervous and excited, "I have another way."

Rosalie raised an eyebrow.

"Trust me?" Bella asked, quietly.

Rosalie nodded slowly, then gasped as Bella started to show her the "other way."

With Bella's eyes trained on her, Rosalie and then Bella gently lifted from the forest floor. Rosalie, never having experienced anything remotely like this, stared at Bella apprehensively.

Bella smiled shyly. "I won't let anything happen to you," she said, knowing that even if she fell the vampire would be none the worse for wear.

"And what about you?" Rosalie asked as she steadied herself by putting her arms around the younger girl. "Are you unbreakable too?"

They were well out of sight of the house when Bella answered. "No," she said. "But falling won't hurt me."

Rosalie had so many questions, but now was not the time. They sped up above the trees, invisible to prying eyes in the darkness of the dawn. Her position behind Bella, her arms encircling her waist, was rather distracting as well. She chanced a breath and closed her eyes in contentment. Heaven.

Bella's location choice turned out to be on the edge of Olympic National Park. The mountains there were the reason Forks was always covered in clouds. Bella landed softly on a thick, sturdy branch of a tall tree that dangled precariously at the edge of the mountain. Bella said nothing, and though Rosalie would not let go of her waist, she too stayed quiet, relishing the feel of her so close when she was gone for so long. They stood like this together for a long time. Bella's insides flip-flopped every time she felt Rosalie brush against her from behind. Unbeknownst to the blonde, Bella was fighting her internal battle with more fervor than she'd ever summoned before. She had thought only negative emotions like anxiety and anger would make the fire come out. She was wrong. While she felt the usual pain however, a new sensation joined in that felt...incredibly good. It was especially intense where Rosalie was touching her and- _oh god_ -where she was kissing the back of her neck. Bella's eyes fluttered and she was sure her heart skipped a beat, but Rosalie ignored her trembling and continued to shower the back of her neck, her hair, her ears, and her shoulders with soft, lingering kisses.

"Don't ever do that to me again," Rosalie said when her lips were a hair away from her ear. "Don't ever leave like that."

Bella nodded. "I'm sorry," she said.

Rosalie said nothing, but continued her ministrations on Bella's neck with more and more zeal. Bella crossed her arms around her herself, her hands finding their way to Rosalie's which were resting lightly on her abdomen. She tightened her grip, praying she could keep from losing control. She'd never felt such pain...and such pleasure at once in her life. It was mind-blowing.

"I'm scared of hurting you," Bella whispered. "I'm so scared I'll lose control."

If she wasn't so intoxicated with Bella's presence, Rosalie might have laughed. Her mouth was on Bella's neck...her teeth grazing her flesh...and Bella was worried about _her_.

"I'm not," she paused in order to kiss a particularly tantalizing section of Bella's neck, "a helpless human, Bella." They both groaned softly...Rosalie's tongue joined her lips. "You have enough control to warn me...I'll have time to run..."

She stopped, eliciting another groan from Bella. "You're-you're really ok with...with what we are?"

Bella turned her head so she could see her. She saw the hesitation in her eyes. Rosalie looked embarrassed, ashamed. For the life of her, Bella had no idea why. Rosalie looked down and loosened her grip. Then Bella understood.

She didn't know what she could say to explain just what she thought of her, of the Cullens. She didn't know how to tell her that they were the reason Bella felt human...that they were the ones who taught her how to love when she was very much in danger of losing her grip on everything real. She didn't know what to say, but her body somehow knew what to do. Before she had time to change her mind, Bella twisted so she was facing Rosalie and leaned, at last, into her lips.

Rosalie fought not to squeeze her arms like she wanted to. My god, how she wanted to hold her tight against her. But she absolutely could not-crazy gifts or not, Bella was a human who'd be crushed if Rosalie did as she desired. So she forced herself to be content with her lips. Her lips...they were finally doing what they had desired after months of temptation. She moaned into the kiss, amazed at Bella's warmth, at her taste, her softness.

Bella in the meantime felt as though she had lost all capacity for thought and memory. The only thing she was aware of, the only thing that mattered was Rosalie...Rosalie and her lips. Something deep within her stirred, shocking her like a lightning strike. It felt...amazing. Her insides were boiling...but this felt better than anything she had ever experienced. More, the thought surfaced in her mind. _More!_ Bella deepened the kiss and moved herself deeper inside Rosalie's arms. Her fingers gripped at Rosalie's shirt and with a surprising strength, pushed her hard against the tree.

Rosalie barely had time to feel startled at Bella's sudden ferocity when she felt Bella's tongue snake into her mouth. _Oh Jesus_. Both girls melted into one another. Rosalie moved her hands behind her to the trunk of the tree and crushed handfuls of it over and over again. Bella's hands moved to cup Rosalie's face. She couldn't get enough of her. They moved to her waist, her back. Rosalie's whimpered groans encouraged her when her hands found the curves of her behind. She squeezed, and groaned herself at the sensation. With a rising passion, Bella continued her exploration of Rosalie's mouth, oblivious to anything else.

Rosalie's senses picked it up first. She opened her eyes to confirm what her nose smelled. Above them, leaves were beginning to glow and shrivel up. Every branch her eyes could see was glowing from the inside. And yet Bella continued on, completely unaware of what was happening.

"Bella," Rosalie murmured into the kiss, absolutely hating to stop and somewhat amazed that it was Bella, not herself who was about to lose control. "Bella, we have to stop."

"Hmm?" Bella breathed, still trying to kiss her.

"Stop, Bella. You have to calm down."

She wished she could do something to take away the tortured expression on Bella's face. Bella shrank inside herself as she looked around at what she had done. If anything, her grip on Rosalie tightened even more.

"I'm sorry! Oh god, I'm so sorry!" Bella cried out.

"Shhh," Rosalie said softly. "You're still in control. This isn't even close to what happened in the woods. You're in control, Bella. Please calm down."

Rosalie held the girl in her arms, wishing she had Jasper's gift so she could ease away Bella's terror. It really wasn't terrible, what she'd done to the trees. It was quite beautiful if you forgot that everything could explode any second. Her soothing embrace seemed to do the trick. Slowly, the embers died down and gave way to the glow of the sun that was beginning to peak. She eyed the sunlight crawling its way down the tree warily. She wasn't sure if she was ready to show Bella this part of herself. It would be so... _final_ for Bella to see how obviously not human she was.

"Bella..." Rosalie's voice quivered, prompting Bella to look up. "I don't...do things lightly. This...this thing that we have...you and me, and Emmett...it's not a joke. I intend for it to last. Are you-do you understand? Do you understand what I'm saying? What I'm asking?"

Bella looked deep into her eyes and slowly nodded. "I'm already yours," she said, hoping that was enough to answer Rosalie's unspoken question.

Rosalie exhaled the breath she had held out of habit. With a last look at the betraying light befalling them, she stepped back and allowed the sun to hit her face.

Bella gasped. "Angel..." she whispered.

If angels existed, they couldn't be more beautiful than this. They just couldn't. Bella refused to blink as she took in the glittering, glowing sight before her. Rosalie in the sunlight was more beautiful than the most captivating fire.

"That's why we don't go out in the sun..." Rosalie whispered, downcast.

Why does she hate herself? Bella wondered. She stepped into the sunlight with her and stroked her cheeks with both hands.

"You're beautiful. Inside and out," she said, and reached up once again to kiss her.

It was softer this time, much more gentle than their first kiss. A minute into it though, Rosalie heard the sound of crackling fire and pulled away.

"You do intend to work on this, right?" Rosalie asked, unable to hide her frustration.

Bella nodded sheepishly. "I never had this kind of motivation before," she said with a smile.

Rosalie rolled her eyes but smiled back nonetheless. "Come on," she said. "Emmett's gonna want a turn flying."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Ah, romance. I can't believe how long it took to write that scene. Romance is hard! Is your heart fluttering? Unable to stop grinning like a fool? Do tell!


	34. Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
> 
> Author's note: Yes, I deserve to be spanked. Any volunteers?
> 
> Seriously though, I'm so sorry for the unusual delay. I did have my reasons though. There were several deadlines and meetings at work that needed my full attention throughout the week. Um, you can also blame Princess Alexandria for writing her cool OC Christy Taylor...read two of her stories and couldn't get my head out of the Marvel universe for a couple of days.

"Fuck!"

"Bella, it's ok. You did quite well."

"You call knocking you down 'quite well'?"

"I'm stronger than I look, Bella. I can take it."

"That wasn't even that hard a thrust..."

Emmett snickered to his wife. "Ooh I bet you can't wait to see what her full effort looks like. Oh shit-" He took a step back and stood behind Rosalie while Bella glared at him.

"Emmett, don't antagonize her right now," Carlisle said from his position in the tree line. He stood dignified as always and ignored the mirthful glances Rosalie and Emmett kept giving his unkempt hair and the blotches of dirt on his face.

"Try it again, Bella," he said, noting her chagrined expression. "Work on that focus."

Bella sighed and stamped down the sarcastic remark bubbling inside her. She was grateful for Carlisle's help, really she was. But the man didn't seem to understand that it was impossible to focus on anything but the pain.

"Come on Bella," Rosalie said softly. "One more time, please."

As always, Bella melted a little inside when she heard the tone in Rosalie's voice. She would do anything to hear her speak to her like that every moment of every day.

Sighing, Bella braced herself once more and took a few steps away from Rosalie and Emmett to be safe. Like she'd done dozens of times over the last week, Bella closed her eyes and concentrated on calling up the fiery monster within her. Nothing happened for quite a while. Bella's automatic attempts to quell the fire, a habit seven years in the making, made it extremely difficult if not impossible to create so much as a flame if she wasn't feeling strongly enough for it. The first few days, Carlisle had no choice but to use lighters and small campfires to coax the monster out. Today though, he insisted they leave the props at home and work on igniting the spark within her.

Pain. This was the worst part. In order to come even close to calling the fire, she had to force herself to relive some pretty terrible memories...and there were so many to choose from. Her mother's face in the flames. Her father the moment he decided Bella wasn't worth saving. Countless taunts, shoves, and all the creative ways children devise to torture their peers. The deaths. The faces of every soul she had killed. And most recently, Edward's harsh words...Charlie's hateful eyes.

Steadily, the pain rose and rose. Now the tricky part. In order for a burst of fire to come through she had to allow the pain to reach its tipping point. If that were all she needed to worry about she'd succeed...but the forest, and her friends, would blow up in seconds. No, she needed to find a way to pull back as soon as the blinding pain turned to pleasure...before the monster could gleefully take control and revel in the destruction.

This was easier said than done.

Then, as had happened many times this week, she shook with pain.

"Rose," she whispered. From the corner of her eye, Bella saw Rosalie and Emmett tense, preparing to run for it if Bella lost control. It was the only warning she could give them even as her thoughts neared shutdown. She closed her eyes and held on as far she could and chanted Rosalie's name in her mind. Rose, Rose, Rose...Fire. Bella opened her eyes.

"Oh fuck," said Emmett.

* * *

"Jazz! Let's go!" Alice shouted as she ran down the stairs.

"Bella?" He asked as he came out of Carlisle's study. They were out the door and running in seconds, Esme following close behind. One look from her was all the confirmation he needed. This wasn't the first time this happened this week.

Together they ran at top speed. Even if they didn't already know where Carlisle and Bella were practicing, they would've been able to find it easily. They smelled the smoke and burnt wood miles before they arrived.

"Oh, Bells," Alice whispered. She turned to nudge her husband but Jasper was already approaching the human girl. Alice walked up to her more slowly and stopped by Rosalie, Emmett and Carlisle. She squeezed Rosalie's hand when she reached her-she looked positively miserable as she looked down on Bella's crying form.

Jasper reached her side and sat down. They all felt the wave of calm and love he sent her way, and gradually Bella's crying ceased.

"You didn't hurt us, Bella," Carlisle said. "In fact, now we know we can definitely outrun it."

"You could've died..." Bella whispered as she hugged herself tighter.

Alice winced from the residual emotions Jasper pushed her way but didn't say anything. Her husband was often overwhelmed from Bella's emotions these days. She'd do this much at least to help. Something caught her eye though that distracted her from Bella's pain. Alice poked her sister and pointed behind them.

The surrounding area was blackened and bare from the damage. Alice always felt a sense of awe whenever she witnessed Bella's gift. It was incredible how much raw power she commanded-or didn't command as they knew that was her problem. Rosalie, Emmett and Carlisle followed Alice's gaze. In the midst of the destruction, two small sections remained distinctly green and alive. Rosalie's face immediately morphed into a big smile.

"Bella! Look." She pointed behind her as Bella stared, confused. "That's where we were standing. We didn't even have to run. You protected us."

"Which means you didn't lose all your control," Carlisle said gently. "You're making progress."

Bella said nothing. But she stared long and hard at the two undamaged areas nearby. Something was wrong. She was far too tense and Jasper looked about ready to pass out.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Esme asked.

Finally, Bella looked up. "It's still there," she said. "It...wants to keep burning."

After a moment, Carlisle kneeled in front of her. "Bella," he said. "What are you feeling right now?"

"Frustrated..." she whispered. "I've...never been able to stop it before it was done. It wants to finish it."

"Tell them," Jasper whimpered, shaking next to her. "Tell them how it feels."

Bella turned to him. If anything she looked sorry. "It hurts. A lot," she said.

"When things explode?" Esme asked.

"No," Bella replied, gritting her teeth. "Before that. While I try to keep it down. The urge is so strong...it burns."

Esme kneeled beside Bella as well and took her hand. "And when it does come out?" she asked quietly.

Bella looked down at the withered grass. She was silent for a very long time before she finally spoke.

"It feels wonderful," she said, her voice barely a touch above a whisper. "Like I've found the answer to every terrible thing...like I'll never be hungry or thirsty or tired ever again. I'll never feel pain ever again. It's exactly what my body needs. Every time I have to fight it...I have to fight the desire to feel that. I've been fighting that...craving...ever since...Ever since. It hurts more than anything you can imagine when I succeed. And it feels better than anything when I lose."

Alice stared at her. The whole family stared at her. None of them knew where to begin. Bella seemed to be describing...them. She was describing their daily struggles with not killing her and every human they crossed paths with. Her words may very well refer to their own hunger for human blood.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Would it be easier if we let you finish?" He asked.

She laughed bitterly. "Yes. But I'd like to try...if it's ok, I'd like to try to contain it."

"We're here, Bella Bear," Emmett said. "We're not leaving you."

Rosalie squeezed his hand. Bella closed her eyes and noticeably changed her breathing to a steadier rhythm. Rosalie shuddered as a flash of pain appeared on Bella's face which disappeared as quickly as it came. They remained in their places, watching her with concern and fascination. After a few minutes her face visibly calmed, but Jasper was still trembling.

"I'm sorry, Jasper," Bella said under her breath. "This is awful for you. You should go. It's gonna get worse."

If she didn't know it was impossible, Alice would've thought Jasper was about to break out into sweats. "Thank you, but no," he said. "I can help you and I will."

Alice didn't understand. Bella looked fine. She looked like she was meditating. What had Jasper so worked up? He must've felt her confusion then, because a moment later she felt him reflecting some of what Bella felt onto her. She gasped and fell to the ground.

"Holy...how are you...how can you stand this?" She cried out while breathing heavily out of habit.

Bella opened her eyes, and Alice's heart fell from the pain she saw in them.

"Years and years of practice," Bella answered.

The minutes ticked by. Hours were nothing to Vampires who lived for hundreds of years, but watching their friend go through that kind of pain and knowing they could do nothing for her made the minutes tortuously slow. Jasper finally relaxed and rubbed Bella's back as she slowly looked up.

"Thank you," she said looking at each of their faces.

* * *

Bella moaned softly when she felt the blonde's lips on her collarbone.

"I can't believe," Rosalie murmured as her hand pushed Bella's collar aside, "you managed to talk us into letting you come back here."

Bella opened her mouth to respond, but all that came out was a groan-Rosalie's other hand was at her left breast, pinching her nipple through her shirt.

"Mmm," she moaned. Bella's hands caressed Rosalie's cheeks, her fingers tracing the shape of an ear. "You know why. I'm too volatile still. And he'll ask too many questions if I move to your place. Can't put your family- oh fuck...under the spotlight."

Rosalie body moved lower on top of Bella's. Her mouth replaced her hand and she gently nipped the other girl's very erect nipples, still maddeningly through her shirt. Were those stars she was seeing? Bella's body moved seemingly on its own. Her hips thrust upward, again and again. She clutched tightly at anything she could grab on Rosalie, her shirt, her hair, her neck, and wrapped her legs around her. Both of them groaned when Rosalie moved her body to match Bella's thrusts.

"Fuck...come here," Bella whispered and pulled her roughly to meet her lips. Rosalie happily complied and for the hundredth time that afternoon Bella melted into her mouth.

She tastes like sunshine, was the only incoherent thought to fly through Bella's mind as the kiss deepened. A moment later, Rosalie's tongue was sliding over hers and the thoughts stopped entirely.

They both whimpered in pleasure, their tongues and hips waging their own wars while each of them fought to control one's self. Bella bit Rosalie's lower lip before she traced it with her tongue. Suddenly she linked her legs through hers and grabbed her hips, twisting them both around so Bella was on top.

"I'm sensing a pattern here," Rosalie teased. Bella didn't fall for the bait. Instead she fell in between Rosalie's legs and resumed their kissing. She moaned...she definitely liked having the blonde beneath her. Rosalie's hands cupped her cheeks and brought her even closer. Bella's own hands started to make their way up Rosalie's shirt.

"Fuck!" Rosalie yelled, jumping off the bed. A split second later the room was filled with the white substance pouring out of the fire extinguisher that had been sitting by Bella's bed. When the air cleared, the curtains on the window flapped weakly then fell to the floor, charred black and in pieces.

Rosalie set the fire extinguisher-one of many that now adorned Bella's shed-and went to hold Bella, whose eyes were screwed shut and would remain so, Rosalie knew, until the pain cleared.

"It's ok," Rosalie whispered. "It's ok."

Bella nodded but remained quiet. Rosalie wished Jasper had never shared what he felt from her. She hated being so helpless when she knew just how much pain Bella had to endure when something like this happened.

"It's all right, love. Come back."

A few minutes later, she felt her relax further into her. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I know," Rosalie replied. "You're much better. Last week we had to stop within minutes. We've been here all afternoon."

She nodded again and squeezed her hand. "Sorry," she repeated, more sheepishly this time.

Sighing, Rosalie slumped back. "Yeah...If I didn't know any better I'd think you were the biggest tease this side of the equator."

"Am I making you randy, Rosalie Hale?" Bella asked with a smile. "Whatever happened to that knight of yours with the impressive set of biceps?"

Rosalie grinned. "Oh, he helps. He'll probably want to present you with an official proclamation of his appreciation soon seeing as how much my inability to have my way with you has dramatically increased sex for him."

Bella laughed. "So I put in all this work and he gets all the glory?"

"'Fraid so, little human. Until you can work your way to the grand prize without blowing up the state."

"Evil vampire," Bella muttered.

"Cocktease."

"Bloodsucker."

"Pyromaniac."

"Sex addict."

"You bet," Rosalie replied wickedly, leaning into her ear and putting a lobe into her mouth.

"Fuck..." Bella moaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Rosalie rocks. (fanning self). Review, people! Tell me how you feel, what you think, your hopes and dreams. I guarantee I'll listen!


	35. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Life happens guys. And boy, a lot of life happened over the last two weeks. That's all I have to say.
> 
> Author's note II: If you want to hear a happy tune that I like to listen to when I think about the progression of Bella and Rosalie's relationship pre-consummation (lol) listen to Closer by Tegan & Sara. "All I think of lately is how to get you underneath me..." :D

Logically, Emmett knew he couldn't be sore. His muscles haven't been capable of change and, therefore of fatigue in three-quarters of a century. It just wasn't possible. But possible or not, he definitely looked the worse for wear as he plopped heavily onto the couch by Bella.

Bella looked up from her book. "Again?" She asked. Emmett noted she wasn't even trying to hide the glimmer in her eyes.

He narrowed his but nodded anyway, wincing as he maneuvered into a more comfortable position on the couch.

"That was what? The 5th time today?" She asked, grinning.

"7th," he replied with a groan. "She pulled me away from Assassins Creed earlier. I was doing so well too."

Bella rolled her eyes. "You don't seriously expect any pity from me, do you?"

Emmett growled slightly. "No...but I do expect you to hurry up and stop setting things on fire. I'm beginning to think vampires might have a limit...any vampire but Rosalie that is." He groaned again and sank further into the couch, putting his feet up on Bella's lap.

The laughter left Bella's face as she was reminded of the reasons for her own physical exhaustion. Emmett immediately felt guilty for suggesting she was dawdling with getting better. Carlisle was putting Bella through a pretty masochistic training schedule. He took a leave of absence from the hospital the day after Bella returned and spent hours with her every day that summer helping her tame her gifts. There were dozens of pockets of scorched forest and open areas in the wilderness surrounding their house. When August rolled around, Carlisle and Bella took to travelling a few hundred miles away to avoid suspicion from the town's population, especially Charlie.

"Sorry Bells," he apologized. "I know you're working your butt off. It's just..."

"It's just you can't wait for me to sleep with your wife?" She finished, a slight smile coming back to her face that quickly changed back to the usual anxiety she always felt whenever this topic came up.

"Bells, don't start," Emmett whined. "Rosie will take a limb if she hears I made you feel bad. We've talked about this. HUNDREDS of times. I'm happy for the two of you. I'm happy for all of us. And I'll be a hell of a lot happier when I can play my video games uninterrupted again," he mumbled.

Bella listened to his words, and as always she believed him. Emmett was far too genuine a person to be dishonest, and he clearly believed in the new reality of their relationship. Still. Every first new display of affection Rosalie demonstrated with her in front of Emmett or anyone in the family would send Bella through a mini panic attack until she eventually got used to it. The first time she and Rose kissed inside the house and in front of Emmett, two of Esme's lamps blew out. That was over a month ago though, and Bella's wayward emotions had calmed considerably with Rosalie. They could cuddle-and they often did on this very couch-with Emmett on the other side of Rosalie without Bella worrying about the boy as she often did in the beginning. At first they all tried to be respectful of each other and refrain from too much affection in front of each other-Bella's heart hammered in her chest at the thought of Emmett seeing their hot (and often flammable) make-out sessions. But lately Rosalie's...insatiable nature made waiting to be alone for intimacy impossible. Emmett took the brunt of it because he was able to, but even Bella on several occasions had found herself pinned inside Rosalie's Mercedes with the blonde furiously moving on top of her until Bella had to remind her she might blow up her precious engine if they continued any further. Needless to say, Rosalie spent much of the summer stewing in frustration and anger. Bella spent it in emotional pain from forcing herself to relive her most painful memories, and frustration over the slow pace of her improvement with Rosalie. And Emmett spent it in disbelief that he was getting tired of sex and desperately wishing his wife and best friend would do the damn deed already so he could catch a break.

"I love you too much to hurt you," Bella said. "And her. Will you-will everything still be the same after...?"

"No," Emmett admitted. "It won't be the same. We'll be equals then. Not saying it'll be bad, but it'll take awhile to get used to. For all of us."

"Speak for yourself!" Alice shouted from upstairs. "I'm already used to it!"

Bella and Emmett both rolled her eyes. The rest of the Cullens, apart from Edward, had adjusted pretty quickly to the new dynamic between the new triad. Alice however had taken to the whole thing like a fish in water. The girl was so excited for her siblings and best friend...As Bella's power improved so did Alice's ability to see her. None of them understood why, but Carlisle took it as a sign they were moving in the right direction. Alice still had to concentrate unusually hard to see her, and she could never see her when her emotions were elevated. But she had no difficulty seeing Rosalie...

Bella would ordinarily be furious at the breach of privacy, but she was so grateful that Alice could alert them if she was about to lose control that she swallowed her embarrassment and learned to live with it. She had to constantly remind herself that there were three couples with vampire senses all living together in this house. The rest of them were already used to everybody knowing everything. Bella just had to suck it up and stop blushing. If only Alice would wipe the smirk that seemed to perpetually be there now whenever Bella and Rosalie were in the room together off of her face.

"Don't spoil things for them, darling." Jasper laughed. "It isn't polite."

Bella reluctantly smiled at her friends' antics upstairs They had become closer than ever over the summer. Jasper and Alice were like a brother and sister to her now. It took just a few months for her to feel this way about them, she mused she tried to imagine what a bond would be like given the years the rest of the Cullens had...it never failed to leave her dumb with awe.

A streak of gold rushed down the stairs. Rosalie stopped and walked at a human speed the rest of the way to the couch, where she joined her lovers after they maneuvered a bit to let her squeeze in. Bella's heart thumped in her chest at Rosalie's touch-her arm circled around the younger girl protectively even as she herself leaned into Emmett's embrace. It wasn't necessary for any of them to speak at this point.

* * *

Jasper's face broke out into a content smile as he felt the emotions from downstairs. Next to him, Alice sent him a questioning glance and a small nudge. His grin widened as he shared with her Bella's, Rosalie's, and Emmett's happy emotions. She smiled back and snuggled deeper into his side.

"I love you," they both whispered at the same time.

* * *

Esme looked up from her modeling and smiled. It was impossible for the new relationship not to affect everyone in the house and aside from occasional hesitation and concern on Bella's and Emmett's parts, the general mood has been fairly uplifting. Esme loved her children dearly and that included Bella now. She couldn't deny how happy she and Rosalie had been. And while Emmett's position was indeed unusual, he too was happy for his wife and his best friend.

Bella didn't know it, but Esme and Carlisle had been taking measures to ensure her safety with her father. Her nostrils flared at the mere thought of that man. The most frustrating thing about him was that aside from his relationship with his daughter, Charlie Swan was a good and decent man. They had met several times in the past and he was one of the few people in town who didn't immediately shrink back from the Cullens. When the hospital board received complaints from patients who objected to the relationships under the Cullens' roof, Charlie intervened on Carlisle's behalf and convinced the board to mind their own goddamn business.

They could understand his emotional upheaval. His situation was unique-he couldn't exactly share his feelings with a therapist or a family counselor. For seven years the man had lived with the terrible knowledge that his daughter had killed his wife and hundreds more. As far as they knew, he kept that secret tight in his chest all this time. Was he right to blame her? For Esme the answer was a no-brainer. Bella didn't ask for her gifts. They were part of her like any critical organ. She was just a child for god's sake...an innocent child who was forced to endure unthinkable guilt and pain. Yes, over 500 people were dead. But as far as Esme was concerned it was Bella's gift, not Bella herself who killed them. The child had spent nearly half of her life alone and on the run trying to contain the evil. Wasn't that penance enough?

Of course they couldn't say any of this out loud to Charlie. They couldn't let on that they knew his daughter's history. Bella made it clear, rightfully so, that involving the Cullens so starkly in her life would put them at risk of higher scrutiny. Normal human families would not take in an admitted dangerous killer. Normal human families would not overlook Bella's very real danger of spontaneous combustion. So Esme and Carlisle had no choice but to bite their tongues and agree to send her back to a man they knew had no qualms with watching her die.

That didn't mean they were sitting on their behinds though. She looked down at her phone and sighed impatiently waiting for word from Carlisle. Her husband was on a mission today, a mission that the two of them had carefully planned for weeks.

* * *

Carlisle sat still in his car, waiting. The clock ticked past a quarter after 5, and he knew that Charlie's shift ended 15 minutes ago. Alice said he planned to make a grocery run, so the chances were good that Charlie's cruiser would show up at the supermarket's parking lot today where Carlisle sat patiently.

There he is, he thought. Don't screw this up Carlisle.

Five minutes later, both men were walking somewhere inside the store. Carlisle made sure he had a few items in his cart before approaching Charlie. Tragic, he thought as he got closer. Charlie's fortunes have been unlucky, that much was true. He doubted many parents would have been able to move on in a healthy manner after experiencing the things this man did. It was so much worse that he wasn't allowing himself to get to know his daughter, whose advancements over the last month had astounded even Carlisle though he had seen much in his three hundred years. He shook his head. As sorry as he felt for Charlie, today's mission was to help Bella.

"Chief Swan?" He exclaimed in pretend surprise and smiled as Charlie turned to face him. "I haven't seen you in quite some time. How have you been?"

"Evening, Doc." Charlie nodded to him and reached over for some more potatoes. "Life is treating me just fine. And yourself?"

"Oh you know how it is," Carlisle replied. "There's never a dull moment with our kinds of jobs. Actually I've been on an extended holiday for that past few weeks. It's nice to have all the kids at home...good to enjoy them while I can."

"Mmm," Charlie murmured, nodding.

"Actually I'm glad I ran into you," Carlisle said suddenly. "I was going to give you a call soon anyway to get your permission for the trip."

"Huh? Trip?" Charlie looked at him, perplexed.

"Bella didn't tell you?" Carlisle shook his head. "Kids these days...I swear if I didn't force mine to talk to me they'd only communicate by texting. The trip. We take a week or two every year before school starts on a backpacking trip somewhere. It's become somewhat of a family tradition. Thing is, my kids are quite fond of your Bella. So is Esme in fact-she's positively crazy about her. They've all spent a lot of time together this summer and, well, we'd really love it if she could join us. Now, now," he continued with a smile, "I know what you're thinking. But you really don't have anything to worry about. We're the most experienced campers you'll ever meet. And I promise, Esme and I will watch over her like she's one of our own."

Charlie just stared at him. Carlisle could tell he was trying not to look surprised that they were even aware of Bella's existence to begin with. The chief of police had a good poker face, but not good enough for Carlisle.

"Oh, please say yes," Carlisle patted him briefly on the back, careful not to touch bare skin. "The kids would be so disappointed. And I know Bella would really love to come. This area of the country is nothing like the east coast. Esme and I know she'll enjoy it."

Charlie snapped out of his daze and slowly nodded. "I suppose it wouldn't do any harm..." he started, looking at him. "You'll...be careful?"

"That's a good man!" Carlisle exclaimed. "And of course we'll be careful. She's as precious to us as our own children."

Carlisle reached over to the garlic and put a few bags into his cart. All the while, he could feel Charlie's eyes on the back of his head.

"So..." Charlie began casually, "sounds like she's really getting along with your kids."

"Chief, you've done a hell of a job with her. She's the nicest kid I've ever met. Smartest one too. Did she tell you that she's tutored every one of my kids in one thing or another since she got here? And Esme tells me by the time she's ready for college she'll have a very nice portfolio ready."

"Er...portfolio?" Charlie asked.

"Interior design," Carlisle laughed. "You should really get her a cell phone. I tell you, it's the only way to talk to anybody under 20 these days. Esme's been mentoring her. She's got a real talent for it. Esme had a client a while back who hated everything she came up with for her. Bella took a shot with a design and the client loved it!"

"I see," said Charlie.

"Between you and me," Carlisle whispered conspiratorially. "Esme's secretly saving everything Bella's done and putting together a portfolio for her. I don't know if you two have talked about college yet, but Esme has some friends in a few universities. With Bella's grades and her work, she won't have any trouble getting into a school. You're a fortunate man, Charlie."

Charlie nodded distractedly. Carlisle knew it was time to end this. The human had taken in enough and would need to process things. The hand in his pocket that was clutching his phone hit the "send" button and a pre-written message for Esme went through. Two seconds later, his phone rang.

"Hey I have to take this," Carlisle said hurriedly as he took out his phone. "It was nice to see you, Chief. And thanks for giving the OK for the trip. The kids will be thrilled!"

With a wave goodbye, Carlisle turned and headed for the nearest cashier to pay. When he was back inside his car, he called his wife who was beside herself with anticipation.

"How did it go?" She asked anxiously.

"Well, I think," he replied. "Yes, I think it went very well. He knows she's been spending time with us, so now he knows people will notice if she disappears or comes to any harm. I can also see that he's perplexed that nothing...explosive has occurred yet in all the time around her. He might start to realize that she's not as volatile as he thinks she is."

Esme sighed audibly. "This is just ridiculous," she said. "I wish we could really talk to him."

"I know, but you know we can't," Carlisle said, the irritation over the situation as clear in his voice as it was in Esme's.

"You did good," she said softly. "Thank you."

"You know what she means to me now," he replied. "I'd do anything..."

"I know," she said. "You're coming home?"

"Yes," he smiled. "I love you."

"Love you too," Esme said.

* * *

Rosalie raised her eyebrows at the bouncing form of Alice that had intercepted her on the way home. She was coming back from dropping Bella off. Even if Alice didn't already know that it would've been obvious...Bella scent was all over her.

"He said yes!" Alice shrieked.

"What are you talking about?" Rosalie huffed. Alice was distracting her from where her mind wanted to be, alone with Bella in her bed like they were for the last hour.

"Charlie. Said. Yes. Your trip." Alice sounded out each word like Rosalie was an idiot. "Bella's free for a whole week."

"Oh," she said in understanding. "Oh!"

"Yes, oh," Alice rolled her eyes. "You've been talking to Tanya?"

She was referring of course, to the head of the Denali coven. If anyone could prepare Rosalie for intimacy with a human, it was the blond succubus in Alaska.

"Mmm," Rosalie replied, now distracted by a whole other set of thoughts that have been with her all summer. "Practically every day."

"Good," Alice said firmly. "I haven't seen anything worrisome. Just...do be careful. You know how fragile she really is."

She nodded, torn between her excitement and her fear of hurting Bella. "And Emmett?" She asked. "Do you see him?"

"He'll be fine, Rose. Just be yourself and give him the attention he needs when you get back."

Rosalie nodded again. "I better go hunt," she said, and after thanking her sister, ran further into the wilderness for a nice, long hunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note III: Closer and closer! Please tell me what you think! What do you think I should do with Edward? I already have some ideas for him, but I think it would be fun to hear yours. I'm also VERY curious about your thoughts on the relationship(s). I know this is super unusual, and that some of you were pretty aghast about it in the beginning. How do you feel now?


	36. North

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"Are we there yet?" Bella yawned and stretched in the passenger seat of Emmett's jeep. She turned and opened her groggy eyes to gaze at the beautiful sight of Rosalie behind the steering wheel. Bella did not understand her girlfriend's obsession with automobiles, but she could definitely appreciate watching her tinker with a car. Why, she didn't know, but Bella could watch the blonde (and get extremely aroused doing so) working on a car for hours. And she had, in fact, done just that prior to this road trip, when Rosalie made sure the jeep could handle the terrain and the weather.

"Almost," Rosalie laughed. She reached over the console to take Bella's hand. "How can you be impatient when you've slept practically the entire way here?"

"Blame Alice," Bella yawned again as she fingered the cloth of the extremely warm (and extremely expensive) arctic-weather jacket she was wearing. While not exactly fashionable, Alice had, true to form, dragged Bella through the only northern outfitters store in Seattle in order to outfit her for the harsh environment of Northern Canada...no matter how many times Bella insisted the cold wouldn't bother her. She even demonstrated, in front of the whole family, her ability to survive comfortably inside of an industrial freezer for hours at a time. Bella's gift had its uses, that was for sure. But to no avail, Alice had bought Bella a wardrobe she'd never wear.

She felt a buzzing through her thick jacket and took a moment before she realized that it was her phone. It was a text from Alice.

'We only shopped for 6 hours! That's NOT why you're so sleepy.'

Bella chuckled and responded (:P) before gingerly running her thumb over the phone's keys again, replaying the strange conversation she had with Charlie when he gave it to her.

_Knock, knock._

_Bella was startled out of her slumber way too early for her liking. Ordinarily she rose with the sun (when it was even visible through Forks' ever present clouds) but it had taken a long time to fall asleep the night before. Rosalie had been with her._

_There was no one but Bella inside the shed now however, and whoever was outside her door was starting to irritate her with their incessant knocking._

_"It's way too early, Jasp-uh..." Bella shut her mouth when, after opening the door and ready to yell at Jasper for coming so early, she found herself instead face to face with her father._

_Bella instinctively took a step back in alarm, and if her thoughts weren't distracting her so she might have noticed that Charlie had done the same thing._

_Silence. Bella kept her gaze firmly on his face waiting for a hint of malevolence. Charlie didn't look like he was planning to move, much less speak._

_"Hello," Bella said cautiously. The last time she saw him was in town outside the ruins of Newton's burning structure. He had pulled a gun on her in front of Alice and Rosalie, forcing her to use her gifts before he or her vampire friends did anything they'd regret. Since she'd come back the closest she'd come to seeing him was spotting his cruiser from time to time and seeing lights on in the house. Her bike and shed lights were the only things alerting him of her continued existence too, she suspected._

_Charlie didn't respond. He swallowed hard and nodded briefly. Finally, after scrutinizing the ground he managed to look up into his daughter's eyes...before quickly looking down again._

_"I, uh, came to give you this," he said._

_He didn't budge, and Bella raised a confused eyebrow as she waited for him to continue._

_"Oh, yeah. Here you go..." he mumbled as he handed her a shopping bag with a single, open box inside._

_Bella really couldn't help herself-she half-wondered if Charlie was handing her a bomb or something of the sort. But her curiosity overpowered her sense of self-preservation and, cautiously she chanced a look inside._

_"Er, thank you..." she said, truly taken aback that Charlie was giving her a cell phone._

_"Right," he said awkwardly before abruptly turning around and heading for his cruiser._

_"Oh-uh, enjoy that trip," he turned and yelled. "Bye."_

_"Bye..." Bella waved for a few seconds as she stared after him, wondering what in hell just happened._

_A few minutes later, when she remembered she was still standing in front of her open door, Bella turned on her first cell phone. It was a plain flip phone, nothing like the fancy mini computers her friends had. She went to the contacts page so she could add each of the Cullens' numbers but to her utmost surprise, there was already an entry._

_Charlie had added his own number._

A large bump on the road knocked her out of her memory.

"Where exactly is this place anyway?" She asked.

"According to Tanya's coordinates, another mile or so." Rosalie gave her a sheepish smile. "Don't expect the Ritz. She had it put up in just a few days."

"Days?" Bella exclaimed incredulously. "Did she have descendants of the Roman Army to help her?" She mumbled.

Rosalie laughed. "Nope. She's only 1000 years old. The Knights Templar could've helped though. I hear she had a small role to play in that twisted history."

Bella just shook her head, amazed at the company she now kept. "How is...how is Edward dealing with all this?"

She groaned inwardly at Rosalie's growl. "I don't give a rat's ass how he's dealing with this."

Another person would've taken the hint and backed off to avoid trouble, but Bella had strong opinions about this particular conflict of interest and not even the flash in Rosalie's eyes could silence her.

"He's your brother, Rose. He's Carlisle and Esme's son. He's-holy shit, stop the car!"

Rose slammed hard on the breaks, turning in alarm only to find Bella jumping out of the car and slamming her door shut.

"Bella! What is it?"

Bella stood still on the permafrost, outside of the car's glaring headlights. She was staring at the sky in absolute wonder.

Rosalie followed her gaze, then shook her head and smiled. Of course. Her lover had never seen the northern lights. She took in Bella's awed expression and forced herself to look up and see the aurora borealis through new eyes, smiling widely as she did.

Bella felt Rosalie's arms snake around her from behind. And though she thoroughly enjoyed the soft kisses to her hair, Bella couldn't be distracted from what she really wanted to do right now.

A resigned sigh behind her told her Rosalie had caught her drift. "Just let me lock up the car," the blonde said.

A minute later they stood together once more, Bella beside herself with anticipation, before taking off.

* * *

She should've been used to it by now. Bella loved to fly and Rosalie knew she shouldn't panic so much when the girl got the chance to, ah, spread her wings so to speak. But Rosalie did panic, and it was all she could do to keep it off of her face for Bella's sake. Bella was so...human. She truly feared that her gifts made Bella far too nonchalant about her mortality. Bella went about her days without a second thought to her own life. The time she had foolishly stuck her neck out to save her the night they met...her attitude about living next door to a man who had tried to kill her twice...and now she was zooming across the sky, extremely fast, and with nary a thought for the very solid ground hundreds of feet below. So yes, Rosalie was panicking a bit.

"Lighten up, Rose!" Bella yelled as she spun them both into a spiral heading straight up. After what seemed like an eternity they finally met high in the sky, much too high for Rosalie's liking.

"Please stay close to me," Rosalie whispered and grabbed her as tightly as she would allow herself around the waist. She had no intention of letting go until they were both firmly on the ground.

"Ok," Bella whispered back and, still feeling the rush of the impromptu flight, wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck and pulled her in for a long, deep kiss.

Within seconds Rosalie forgot all about the altitude...she practically forgot her own name.

Kissing Rosalie had become Bella's favorite activity of late. Her heart never failed to pound wildly in her chest when Rosalie's lips found their way to hers, and tonight was no exception.

"Wouldn't you rather..." Rosalie murmured in between kisses, "do this somewhere else?" She sighed contentedly as Bella pressed herself even closer inside her arms. "Like inside? In a bed?"

Bella giggled into the kiss. "Is the vampire too scared of heights-hey!"

Rosalie wiggled her finger, the one she had just used to poke her in the belly, in front of Bella's face. "No, but the human should be."

"I do wish you'd have a little more faith in this one," Bella sighed. "It's harmless...easy as blinking for me."

"I know," Rosalie responded, and stroked the younger girl's cheek as she spoke. "I'm trying. It's just...I picture you falling sometimes...and it's the scariest feeling I've ever..."

Bella interrupted her with a gentle kiss. "Shall we descend then?"

"Not if you want to keep flying," Rosalie stated reluctantly but with a small smile. "Just keep me close."

Bella looked at her a for a few moments, aware of the betraying blush appearing on her cheeks.

"Ok I really want to know what you're thinking right now," Rosalie smiled.

"Uh, just that...well, that I'd rather kiss you some more than fly," Bella said quickly, looking down.

If Bella would only look up the sight she'd be greeted with would have melted her heart. Rosalie was looking at her with such a burning determination that it was a wonder Bella didn't feel the heat. Bella was also oblivious to the battle raging within Rosalie at this moment. The blonde's restraint around the delectable human had improved dramatically with all the time the two spent together over the summer. But the desire to feel Bella's body in the closest way possible was sending Rosalie close to the edge once again. Rosalie's imagination was running wild...and so was her lust for Bella's blood.

She focused her gaze onto the girl's hair and away from the curve of her neck. A few moments later she felt safe enough to breathe and savored Bella's scent as she did.

"Look at me," she said. Bella did so, noting in the back of her mind Rosalie's urgent tone...the one she used when she was about to say something of significance.

"You'll always be able to kiss me," Rosalie whispered. "You'll always have me."

It wasn't spoken, but Bella knew that the "forever" was silently implied. Rosalie had never uttered the word out loud in her presence, but the hints Emmett and Alice had given her over the weeks helped her understand how difficult that word was for her girlfriend. Nevertheless, whenever Rosalie spoke to her like this...whenever she looked at her like this, Bella understood perfectly well what Rosalie wanted but could not bring herself to say.

Not one to decline such an enticing invitation, Bella responded to Rosalie's declaration with the wildest, most passionate kiss her body could produce. Completely in control of the wind that kept them afloat, Bella brought their bodies as close together as was physically possible. Her hands...her hands always seemed to have a mind of their own whenever they got this frisky...they were grabbing at Rosalie's shirt with a fervor that might have torn it if Bella was a little physically stronger.

"Mmmm," Rosalie shuddered-Bella's hands were squeezing her ass and running up and down her thighs which were pressed tight around the younger girl's waist.

"Where the hell is this cabin?" Bella grunted impatiently before nipping at Rosalie's lower lip.

Her chuckle reverberated through Bella's body-god, she loved it when they were this physically close to each other-as she tore her tongue and lips away from Bella's mouth.

"This way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Put down those pitchforks! There's another chapter...yes another chapter uploaded at the same time. Do you love me again?!
> 
> Curious to hear what you're thinking about Charlie...
> 
> Oh, and in case you're wondering ... they're going north to be away from people in case Bella goes kaboom.
> 
> Please review!


	37. Fever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: This chapter and the last together are over 6100 (not including the author's notes) words. That's like 3 of my regular chapters. Hopefully that helps gain me some forgiveness from you for the horribly long wait I made you endure.
> 
> Author's note II: FINALLY...the Mature rating applies. YAY! All you naughty minded folks: enjoy. If you do not want/like explicit love scenes...what's wrong with you?! Do you hate ice cream and kittens too?

"A few days my ass," Bella mumbled. She was eyeing their quarters with an incredulous look. It may not be the Ritz but aside from the Cullens' home these were certainly the nicest accommodations Bella had stayed in...ever.

"Tanya's old school like that," Rosalie explained as she carted their luggage inside. "In her day when traveling was still dangerous it was very important to help travelers. Important guests were showered with gifts. This was so-"

"So that if the hosts find themselves travelling they too could expect to be treated well," Bella finished with a cheshire grin. "I read that book too."

Rosalie crossed her arms. "If you're gonna be cheeky, I'm not making you dinner."

"Oh...darn," Bella put on her best acting skills as she lamented her lost...'treat'. Truthfully, Rosalie was an abysmal cook. Engines and transmissions, she could do with her eyes closed. But pancakes? Bella tried to keep the victorious grin off her face.

One look from Rosalie and she knew she wouldn't be so lucky. Rosalie knew exactly what Bella was thinking and just for that, she had already made up her mind to cook her dinner anyway. Though the bitch factor had been dialed way down since Bella came into their lives, Rosalie was still...Rosalie. She was vindictive and ruthless. That's who she was and always would be. And so Bella would get her dinner, and she'd have to eat it too or risk really hurting her feelings and really getting her mad.

She chose to humor her girlfriend...and lend an inconspicuous helping hand in the kitchen lest her food ends up too poisonous for consumption.

"Tanya's the coven leader, correct? Like Carlisle?" Bella asked. Though Carlisle had given her a good introduction to Vampires a few weeks ago, the word 'coven' still felt funny on her lips.

"Yes," Rosalie replied as she washed the tomatoes in the sink. "Though it really doesn't mean much unless you're dealing with other covens, especially non-vegetarians."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

"Vampires are no fairy tale, Bells. Power exchanges, treaties, wars, and a whole lot of death mark our past," Rosalie explained. "When a member of one coven meets another, there are certain customs that must be followed...certain decorum. Much of this has to do with the proper way of addressing the coven leader and when you strike an agreement with the coven. Of course this is assuming both covens are civilized. There are a lot of nomads out there that follow only the bare essential of the rules."

Rosalie didn't elaborate on what that bare essential may be, and Bella didn't need to ask. The ultimate law all vampires had to follow was the law of secrecy. The Cullens, and to a certain extent the Denalis had already broken it with Bella.

"Why do you look so confused?" Rosalie asked. She started to add sugar to the pot before Bella stopped her and handed her the salt instead.

"I guess...I never got that sense of official decorum when you all talk about the Denalis," Bella said. "And certainly not when I hear you speak to them on the phone."

"Carlisle has a theory that our diet is the reason we're so...friendly," Rosalie replied. "Drinking animal blood makes us less ferocious, less territorial. Over the years we've become a family with real emotional attachments to each other. That doesn't happen with normal vampires. So we can be casual with each other and with the Denalis because..."

"Because you're more human than vampire," Bella finished for her, giving her a quick kiss on her shoulder.

Rosalie didn't respond, but Bella could see her trying to hide the pained look from her face. She still hates herself, Bella thought. Watching Rosalie struggle with her existence was difficult for Bella because she hated seeing her in so much pain, but also because it was hard not to reflect on her own destructive life as a result. She knew she shouldn't play a numbers game-every life is precious after all-but how could she not? Bella had single-handedly killed over 500 people. If Rosalie thinks of herself as a monster, then how on earth was Bella to get over her own past?

She opened her mouth to speak, but Rosalie beat her to it.

"When I'm with you it's possible to believe it," she said quietly. "Still not easy though," she smiled bitterly.

Bella responded with a gentle kiss, and would have been content to stay attached to her lips for a while longer if her stomach hadn't chosen that moment to grumble loudly.

"Eat first," Rosalie smiled, handing her a plate of pasta.

Stupid stomach, Bella thought, but took the plate without a word and set about gobbling it down. It was difficult to concentrate on her food though-Rosalie had planted herself directly behind her (a favorite position for her) and was running her hands along her arms and waist. Bella nearly choked on her food when she felt her lips, and then her tongue, caressing the back of her neck. That was a favorite spot for Bella too.

She had to leave her embrace to put her empty plate away and wash her mouth. When she came back to the kitchen Rosalie wasn't there however. Bella stamped down her panic and found her a few moments later on the other side of the cabin. Though it was at least six times bigger than her shed, the cabin was really just one gigantic room. One side was made up of the kitchen, a small eating area and a bathroom off to the side. The other side contained a sitting area and at the very end of the room underneath a rather large skylight, a huge, incredibly difficult to ignore bed. That was where Rosalie stood now, by an open window with her back to Bella.

Bella didn't go to her right away. As she often did when Rosalie was distracted with one thing or another, Bella took her time admiring her girlfriend's beauty. Though her exterior beauty could certainly stop her in her tracks at times, it was the substance behind it that made Bella forget to breathe. Rosalie had such a power inside her. Such determination, conviction and passion. Bella had seen it the night they first met all those months ago. She saw it everyday when she looked into her eyes. And she saw it now in her stance as she watched the colorful night sky.

She took a deep breath before walking up to her and putting a hand in hers.

"You really do make me believe in myself," Rosalie said quietly.

Bella smiled at that. She knew it was an uphill battle, but she was glad that at least tonight Rosalie could see herself as Bella saw her.

"That doesn't mean I can't make mistakes though Bella, especially tonight." She turned to face her. "Please tell me if I do anything, anything to hurt you. You have to help me keep you safe."

Bella nodded. "And you...promise me you'll run if you sense anything."

"It won't come to that," Rosalie said. "Alice-"

"Alice can't see everything, especially with me. Please, you have to help me too."

Rosalie nodded too, and with little warning cupped her face in her hands. "Ok," she whispered, and pulled her in for a kiss. "Ok," she whispered again into her lips before Bella cut off her ability to speak by pressing her body more deeply into hers.

* * *

Bella nearly winced from the pressure in her hand. It wasn't Rosalie's doing though-Bella just couldn't relax her grip on the blonde's neck. A deep, primal part of her feared Rosalie would move away if she let go. She needed to feel her close, needed to feel her skin on hers. Bella felt she could go mad with desire.

Eventually they ended up on the edge of the bed. Rosalie stood above Bella, who felt too dizzy to stand and who was forced to grip the sheets beneath her now that she couldn't reach Rosalie's neck. She tried again to reach up to her face, but Rosalie caught her hand and moved it to the front of her shirt. Bella's hands shook as they undid the buttons, her fingers tracing the soft skin underneath as she progressed down the shirt. An eternity later the shirt was off, and Rosalie wasted no time removing her own bra so that Bella at last had her first sight of her breasts.

"Breathe, Bella," Rosalie said, smiling softly at the younger girl's transfixed gaze.

Bella swallowed hard and took a shaky breath.

"May I?" She asked softly.

Rosalie's smile grew on her face as she nodded. A moment later she closed her eyes in bliss as Bella stood on her knees on the bed and gingerly touched her.

Bella forced herself to memorize this new wonderful sight as her hands followed in her eyes' wake. Her hands spread themselves over the new skin, running down Rosalie's shoulders, her sculpted back, her stomach, and over her breasts. Bella couldn't believe how wonderful the weight of them felt in her hands. She heard Rosalie's breathing change and took that as a sign to give them more attention. Without thinking she leaned down and took one of her protruding buds in her mouth.

She felt Rosalie stiffen and tremble at her touch, which drove Bella wild. Her hands wrapped around her waist and clutched forcibly, bringing her closer into her own body and her mouth. Both of them moaned at the rough sensation. Bella felt herself being pulled up, and she cried out at the momentary loss of contact before Rosalie firmly attached her mouth to hers. So consumed with Rosalie's tongue in her mouth, she almost missed when she started unbuttoning her pants. Rosalie didn't remove them entirely however. Instead she made short work of Bella's sweater and bra before resuming their kiss. Bella groaned when, a second later, she felt Rosalie's hand cup her ass under her pants.

On auto-pilot, Bella suddenly grabbed Rosalie by the neck and pulled down with all her weight, wrapping her legs around her waist at the same time. Rosalie continued her ministrations to her mouth, but complied and lowered them both onto the bed. A wicked grin spread over Rosalie's face as she lightly pinned Bella's arms against the headboard. Bella's moans increased in intensity then suddenly became a strangled hiss-Rosalie was now furiously sucking on her nipple...and had positioned her hips and leg in between Bella's...and was proceeding to thrust into her.

"Oh fuck," Bella panted heavily as he body's rhythm matched Rosalie's, meeting the other girl's as hard as she could. "Fuck, fuck," she moaned.

The pressure on her chest subsided, prompting her to look up. Rosalie's mouth was no longer on her. She met her eyes-she could have easily lost herself in the fire that was raging in Rosalie's eyes-and the two stared at each other in silence for a few moments. Their hips continued their dance.

Without breaking eye contact, Rosalie lowered her mouth onto Bella's other breast and, keeping her mouth open so Bella would have an unobstructed view, flicked her tongue rapidly around her nipple.

Bella's hips bucked, then resumed the now familiar rhythm albeit a little faster. She moaned loudly again and though her eyes never left Rosalie's tongue, her vision started to get fuzzy from the sheer pleasure.

"Rose...please!" Bella's voice no longer sounded familiar to her own ears. She never thought she was capable of such urgency and raw emotion-distinguishable in just those two words.

Rosalie's tongue disappeared from view as she enveloped her nipple into her entire mouth. Bella couldn't believe how good that felt. Rosalie's mouth was cool like the rest of her, but she still felt like she was being burned. Amazing.

She realized her arms were free once again and made use of the opportunity by sitting up slightly and pulling Rosalie up to her. Once her mouth was on hers again, she leaned over and started to take off her pants.

"Have you done this before?" Rosalie whispered as her pants fell to her ankles.

"No," Bella grinned. "But I read a few books."

Rosalie rolled her eyes but had to laugh at that. "Of course you did."

There was just one flimsy piece of fabric separating Rosalie from her. Rosalie stood on the floor by the side of the bed, and Bella held her breath as she slowly peeled her underwear down her legs.

Rosalie stood before her nude.

She didn't know what to say or think. 'Beautiful' just seemed too plain a description for what her eyes were witnessing. There were no words that could do this angel justice. But perhaps she could show her...

So much skin, Bella thought. She kissed her stomach while her hands ran over her back and ass...amazed at the sensation with no clothing in her way. Rosalie pulled her up to stand in front of her. Bella yielded, but continued her silent worship of Rosalie's body with her mouth and hands.

"Mmmm," Rosalie moaned into her ear, thoroughly enjoying Bella's tongue on the nape of her neck.

Suddenly, Bella felt herself be roughly turned around so that Rosalie was now behind her. She bit her lower lip, reeling from Rosalie's mouth burning a trail down her back...while she pushed her pants and panties down her thighs until she too was standing nude.

Bella stood still under the bright skylight. Rosalie wasn't touching her anymore, and the scared, insecure part of her was worried. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest as she turned her head to glance at her girlfriend.

"Don't move," she heard her whisper.

"It's your blood," Rosalie continued as she came into view next to her, though still an arm's length away. "Your body...I want to claim it."

"And that's bad?" Bella asked.

"That's bad," she confirmed. "I can't...let myself get so worked up that I can't think. If I give in to that vampire need to mark you...to claim you...you're dead."

"Should I...should I help you a little?" Bella asked. "With my scent..."

Rosalie was silent for a moment before she spoke again. "It can't hurt. Very well, go ahead."

Bella concentrated and every window in the cabin opened to its widest. Seconds later, several strong gusts of air blew through in every direction but Rosalie's, carrying Bella's scent away. Bella kept this up until Rosalie's eyes, which were significantly darker than they had been earlier, resorted to their usual amber.

"That's good. Thank you," Rosalie sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Can I touch you now?" Bella asked impatiently. As soon as she saw Rosalie nod, she bounded over to her and cupped her face into her hands. "Don't be a silly vampire. We knew something like this could happen. You were brilliant!"

Rosalie slowly nodded, but she still looked down and apologized again.

"Rosalie Hale," Bella started sternly. "If you don't wipe that guilty look from your face and kiss me right this second, I'll-"

Thankfully there was no need to finish her threat, nor would there be reason to carry it out. Rosalie took the hint and wrapped her arms around the younger girl as her lips granted Bella's command.

This time, both girls relished the delight of being able to touch each other without pesky clothing in the way. Bella didn't think she could ever tire of feeling Rosalie's full, nude body on hers.

Suddenly, Bella's thoughts turned to images that had driven her wild during the last months...images of what she longed to do with Rosalie...longed to do to her. With a start she realized she could now. There was nothing else standing in her way.

"Rose?" She mumbled, aware her face must be beet red but drawing on all her courage anyway.

"Yes?"

"I want...I want to taste you."

Silence. She could feel Rosalie's smile through her body. "Do you now?" She whispered.

"I want that too."

* * *

Bella stumbled forward and pushed Rosalie back onto the bed.

Rosalie stretched back and opened her body up for Bella, who stood above her drinking in the sight. The bright night sky filtered down through the skylight and onto Rosalie's body. She could see traces of the northern lights reflecting off of Rosalie's lightly shimmering skin. Bella's heart hammered dangerously fast in her chest but there was nothing she could do to slow it down. Doubt once again ran through her...she really didn't know what she was doing. Rosalie had years upon years of experience on her.

If her insecurities were strong, her desire to touch Rosalie was debilitatingly stronger. She was right there. Beneath her. Open and waiting. All other thoughts...everything else in the universe took a backseat in Bella's mind as she crawled atop the angel on the bed.

"Will you help me?" Bella asked tentatively. She started moving down her body, savoring every mouthful of Rosalie as she got closer and closer to her goal.

"You're doing very well," Rosalie sighed contentedly. "But yes I'll he-oh Christ!"

Bella's hands were clutching tightly around Rosalie's open thighs, and her mouth...Rosalie sat up slightly to take in the sight of Bella's face in between her legs, and fell down again, overwhelmed with the pleasure.

As for Bella, she let her mind shut down and her instincts take over...precisely what Rosalie could not do. All that mattered was Rosalie's pleasure and by extension her own. This. Was. Heaven. _She_ was making Rosalie shake. _She_ was why Rosalie had to ball her fists tightly around the sheets. _She_ was the reason for the moans and grunts coming from Rosalie's throat. Bella was a master musician tonight...and Rosalie was the instrument she was born to play.

The sharp intake of breath from Rosalie brought some awareness back to her, just in time for her to feel the blonde clench her thighs tightly, and to see her hips rising haphazardly off of the bed.

"Oh my god!" Rosalie cried out. "Ohhh!" She continued to writhe on the bed for another minute before collapsing. Bella felt a hand caress her hair and looked up, thoroughly mesmerized by the sight of a spent Rosalie.

"What the hell books have you been reading?"

"This and that," Bella chuckled as she slithered up to Rosalie's side and continued to shower her lover with kisses.

"I'm impressed," Rosalie purred into her ear.

Bella's delighted grin melted into one of contentment as Rosalie maneuvered herself so she was on top. Cautiously, the older girl touched her lips to her neck. Some part of Bella's mind knew she should be worried, that this was tempting fate...but at that moment Bella honestly did not care. If she died that night, having lived this very night, then she'd have no complaints. Rosalie's tongue was running down her neck to her collarbone now, and Bella involuntarily arched her back...dying to get closer and to feel more...to feel more.

"I've been picturing this..." Rosalie murmured as her hands and mouth caressed her breasts, "dreaming of this," she continued along her stomach, "imagining you beneath me just like this...for so damn long."

Bella's breathing quickened with anticipation as she felt the cool air from Rosalie's mouth between her legs.

And then it happened.

Rosalie's lips descended to her core...and Bella immediately saw flames.

Pleasure. So much pleasure...and pain. The fire she felt between her legs, and the fire burning within her were unlike anything she had ever felt before. Her breathy moans filled the room, quiet and deafening at the same time. The sensations...it was as if every nerve had multiplied a thousandfold. Her body swung back and forth between the mind blowing sensuality playing out between her legs, and the tortuous burning that flowed through the rest of her body.

If only she could trap the pendulum on Rosalie's side. Every cold breath on her inner lips...every change of pace from Rosalie's tongue sent her moaning and thrashing into her face. At the same time, she could feel her heart begin to give way. The terrible, familiar coiling began.

"So warm" Rosalie moaned into her. "So wet..."

Then everything stopped-or rather, everything inside Bella stopped. As if in slow motion, she felt Rosalie's fingers lightly brush along her opening. Rosalie sank her sensitive nub deeper into her mouth...and pushed firmly inside her.

Eyes, that had been screwed shut in ecstasy and pain, opened.

And, luckily for the blonde who until then was oblivious to the blissful agony she was inflicting on her girlfriend, the arduous months of training finally paid off.

Hundreds of feet above them, the sky burst into flames. Through the skylight, Bella witnessed clouds of hot fire rolling violently, obscuring the northern lights. Inside the cabin the red glow from the flames above surrounded the girls and finally clued Rosalie in on what was happening.

"Bella?" Rosalie studied her in alarm, ready to stop.

But Bella had found her way back. She sensed the pause and hissed. "Don't...stop," she cried out. "I'm in control. Please don't stop."

Her eyes stayed fixed on the red sky, spellbound by it. She couldn't believe the joy that was emanating from inside her. She had done it. She had finally tamed the monster. It was still there, still part of her, but it did not control her anymore. Hotter, she thought...and the flames glowed blue from the increased heat. Faster...and the sea above rolled faster and faster. Command after command, the flames obeyed her without resistance and without hesitation.

The triumph she felt could only be outdone by Rosalie's administrations to her sex.

The build-up had begun long ago. All the while her eyes danced with the flames, Bella's body had been moving. As her control over the fire solidified, her control over her own body melted into oblivion. Her throat was producing sounds she'd never heard before. Her legs were spreading themselves farther out than they'd ever been. Her hips were moving at a fast and heated pace around Rosalie's fingers...and they were getting faster and more violent. Much, much faster.

Rosalie sensed the changes in her body. With a harsh growl, she dialed up her pace another notch...and another...and another.

Bella's eyes widened. Her face tightened. Her legs froze and her hips spasmed. She stopped breathing for a full thirty seconds as her whole body jerked uncontrollably around Rosalie's hand and mouth, before she finally collapsed with a loud guttural moan.

* * *

Fuck...fuck...fuck.

"Fuck...fuck...fuck," Bella whispered to herself, over and over.

"Indeed..." Rosalie agreed before changing her tone. "Are you ok?" She asked gently.

Bella had to think about it. "Uh...I don't...yeah...yes I think so."

Rosalie chuckled softly. "I think you need to sleep, little human."

"Mmm," was all the reply Bella could muster.

"Sleep now," Rosalie whispered as she gave her the slightest of kisses. "We'll talk about what happened tomorrow."

That certainly sounded like a good idea to the exhausted Bella, who could hardly keep her eyelids open. Bella let herself be wrapped in Rosalie's arms. Seconds were all she needed before slumber overtook her.

Rosalie continued to kiss her on the cheek for quite some time, until she too closed her eyes and held still for the closest thing to sleep she could emulate.

"I'm so proud of you Bells. I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note III: Well there you go. These last two chapters took forever in part because I was scared shitless of writing this scene. This is my first go at a sex scene. HOW erotical writers do this on a regular basis, I do not know. Seriously my head has been in the gutters the last couple of weeks. How do they do it?!
> 
> If you haven't reviewed yet, pleeeease do so now. I just bared my soul to you! And the wonderful readers who faithfully review...I love you. I really do, and I can't wait to hear from you again.


	38. Repose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note I: Some more Mature smut in the beginning for ya. Enjoy.

She didn't wake up confused or alarmed. She didn't need a moment to adjust to this new reality. As she slowly crossed over from dreams to wakefulness Bella only felt a new sense of belonging. Everything was good. Everything was right. She was used to it before she got a chance to marvel at its novelty. There was no point trying to wonder how she ever drew a breath before this day.

"Hello." Rosalie's musical greeting made her smile.

"Hi," Bella whispered into her neck. She stretched and used the opportunity to slide deeper into Rosalie's arms.

"This sleeping thing's gonna wear my patience to the bone," Rosalie grumbled into her hair.

Bella chuckled and nipped at the other girl's neck. "Are you trying to hint at something?"

Rosalie's low growl surprised her and she looked up.

"I'm not in a mood for hints, Bella," Rosalie whispered. Her grip on Bella's hip tightened slightly. "Please..."

Bella stilled for a moment and looked at her, really looked at her. She was slightly torn between wanting to give her girlfriend some relief and enjoying the look of absolute need on Rosalie's face. Quickly, she told her mind to memorize this sight as she moved on top of her and started to kiss her deeply. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw that Rosalie had moved her arms over her head and behind her. She would not allow herself to touch the fragile human until she calmed down, Bella suspected.

There was no time to waste. Rosalie hissed and arched her back as Bella wrapped her lips around one of her nipples and bit with everything she had. Rosalie's moans rang in her ears. Her right hand roughly squeezed the other neglected breast in front of her as her left hand spread Rosalie's thighs apart. She let her hand slide through the wetness that coated Rosalie's skin but did not move any closer. Bella wasn't trying to torture her...it was just that Rosalie's breasts were so goddamn distracting. They were so full, so voluptuous, so friggin perfect that Bella's brain turned into veritable mush at the sight and feel of them.

Finally, Rosalie had enough, and she let Bella know with another loud and drawn out growl. Bella reluctantly released the hard nipple from her mouth and without any further ado, thrust two fingers inside Rosalie.

Neither of them blinked as they stared one another down. Bella's body moved with her hand as she pumped in and out of the panting blonde. Rosalie was absolutely soaked. She was sure the sheets beneath her were too, and she tried not to think about how wet she herself must be right now. It wasn't difficult. A volcano could erupt outside the cabin door and Bella would probably never notice it. All her attention was focused on the moving, glistening body beneath her. Her Rosalie.

"More..." Rosalie gasped. "Fingers...more fingers," she added at Bella's confused look.

Bella tried not to blush but the outcome of that was in doubt. She added another finger, then another, and moaned a little herself at Rosalie's reaction. Her confidence slowly returned as Rosalie's moans grow in volume and intensity. Last night...what was that thing that Rosalie had done that drove her crazy? Oh yeah...

"Ahhh, fuck! Fuck, fuck, yes!" The words tumbled out of Rosalie's mouth in one long grunt when she felt Bella curling her fingers up. Bella couldn't help the grin that adorned her face. Who would've ever thought that giving pleasure like this could feel so damn good? She kept her fingers curled and pressed as hard as she could into the upper wall just inside Rosalie's opening.

Rosalie's hips moved back and forth, but not as fast as Bella was trying to and could go.

"Can't...I'll crush you if I move...fuck, if I move any faster," Rosalie panted as she answered Bella's silent question.

She could see that Rosalie was straining not to move her arms either. She knew it was worse for her, but Bella really wished she could feel Rosalie's arms hug her close the way she had done herself last night. Bella wanted to be surrounded by nothing but Rosalie. Damn human frailty, she thought.

Rosalie's grunts filled the big room as they only got more frantic. Bella's body moved hard along with her hand, her own hot sweat dripping onto Rosalie's cold flesh and exciting the blonde even more.

"Oh god! Oh god oh god oh god!" And Rosalie could say no more as her eyes screwed shut and her hips lifted clean off the bed while her inner walls convulsed around Bella's fingers.

When she finally fell back Bella fell right along with her...right back into her breasts.

* * *

_Ring, Ring._

Emmett scrambled to get the phone before Alice and succeeded even though she had obviously foreseen the call. He stuck out his tongue at her as he answered.

"Rosie!" He grinned widely. "Finally! You remembered your hands were good for other things, huh?"

"Emmett!" Rosalie reprimanded. Behind him, Esme and Carlisle echoed Rosalie's embarrassment. Alice and Jasper just sniggered in the background.

"Oh come on!" Emmett whined. "As I'm the third wheel this week I should get some fringe benefits. And I want details woman!"

"You'll get details if you can last the rest of the week without a single video game," Rosalie said. "Handheld too."

"You're on!"

Emmett moved off with the phone to his room for some privacy. The rest of the family, though eager to speak to Rosalie and Bella, understood and did not follow.

"You're ok? You're both all right?" He asked softly.

He could practically hear her smile. "Yeah, Em," she said. "We're both fine. I miss you. She does too. She misses everyone but I think she misses you the most."

Emmett grinned. "I'm her BFF. Of course she misses me. Did you tell her about the new console?"

She laughed. "No...kinda got distracted. But I'll mention it next chance I get."

* * *

Jasper didn't particularly care for eavesdropping on his siblings' conversation, but he did pay close attention to Emmett's emotions from the other room. Part of him, parts of all of them really, was concerned about the triad. It was not the norm. It was different and that scared most people and kept them from pursuing it. They weren't wrong or right per se to avoid complicating a romance with more people. It's just that it took so much work for these relationships to thrive. Jasper had seen some varieties of polyamory here and there among humans during his long life, but he'd never been able to see one evolve up close. But one thing that was clear even from a distance...there was so much love between them. Emmett's feelings for Rosalie, for Bella were devoid of bitterness or jealousy. Rosalie, he knew could barely contain her love for her mates. And Bella...the last time he saw her he had been struck by her closeness with Emmett. Though her heart always beat fastest for Rosalie, it was Emmett more than any of them that made her feel safe and relaxed. Bella dearly loved him too.

Bonds are malleable, always subject to change. But Jasper found himself quietly rooting for his family, Bella included. He really wanted this to work. They all did.

* * *

Twenty feet away from where she was standing, a bare bush slowly burned to ash. Nearby, another bush burst into flame. Bella took a few deliberate breaths. She wasn't sure which of the two strong emotions she was feeling, anger and sadness, would win in this tug-o-war...and she didn't care.

"Are you going to burn the entire Yukon province?" Rosalie asked as she slowly walked up behind her.

Another patch of grass lit up, and Bella watched the fire snake around as it followed the pattern her gaze dictated.

"No," Bella replied quietly. "I'm sorry. It helps."

The vampire stopped moving when she reached her, and she carefully put her hand in hers.

"I'd be lying if I said I was over it," Rosalie said. "But it's been so long, Bella. I'm healing."

Bella swallowed hard and nodded. "I'm so sorry, Rose."

Rosalie turned so she could pull Bella into a hug. They stood like that for a long time, Bella's tears falling steadily while Rose could only imagine her own tears that would never come. Bella held her with all of her strength, and she hoped that her actions conveyed her love and support...because right now she couldn't find any appropriate words in response to hearing about Rosalie's last night as a human. There just weren't any words.

* * *

Charlie slowed down as he got closer to the shed. The sun was out and looked like it would be a fine day. Ordinarily he'd make use of the rare good weather and go for an impromptu fishing trip. But for the first time in a long time, his heart just wasn't in it.

He unlocked the door and stepped inside. She's neat, he thought as he surveyed Bella's home. Nothing like her mother. Eyebrows shot up when he spotted the unmistakable shape of a small fire extinguisher lying beside the small fridge. There was another one by the couch. What the hell? What did that mean? Is she just overly cautious or does she actually need those things? He looked at the tags on the ones he could see-unbroken seals. Ok then.

The fridge barely contained anything-a few condiments and a jar of pickles...much like his fridge in fact-but he reasoned she probably ate more with the Cullens. She had to with the time she spent over there. She certainly didn't look hungry the last time he saw her.

What the hell am I doing here, he thought with a sigh. He said down heavily on the couch then yelped as he had landed on a particularly pointy section. He didn't stay on that couch for long and instead sat down at the table. His hands were clenching dangerously tight and he picked up a book to keep them busy. He flipped through a few pages and stopped, surprised at what he saw. It was a sketchbook. Damn, Carlisle wasn't exaggerating. The pages were littered with drawings of buildings, furniture, and floor plans. He took in every page, and it wasn't lost on him the stark difference between Bella's imagination and what her current home looked like.

This was too much. He needed to leave. Fishing. He'd go fishing. He loved that. The sketchbook was carefully set aside where he'd found it and he stood to leave...and found himself face to face with two holes in the wall. Charlie swallowed the lump in his throat as he traced the indentations his bullets made all those months ago. The bullets were gone, but their imprint was unmistakable.

So much for fishing. Charlie knew he'd spend the rest of the day patching those holes. And he thought he knew of a way to fix that couch.

* * *

"Rosalie, I'll be fine."

"I don't like this."

"I'll read a little then go to sleep. It's my fault you have to go so far to hunt anyway."

"Bella, I can't. I can't just leave you here for hours like that."

"No, Rose. What you can't do is drive all day tomorrow with me in the car without hunting first. You know that."

Rosalie sighed heavily. Bella stared her down, knowing she'd made her point. She never felt anything but safe with the blonde, but her eyes were much darker than their norm. Rosalie had gone to hunt one other time this week and had barely found a morsel for herself. They suspected the fireworks from their first night had driven all the big game away. She would have to travel much further tonight. And Bella was right...she'd need the time to get a good hunt before a long road trip with a human.

"You'll call me if you need anything?" Rosalie looked so defeated.

Bella smiled and rolled her eyes. "Does tucking me in qualify?"

She was directly in front of her in an instant. "For you? Yes, you annoying human." Rosalie used up the last of her strength to gently kiss her on the lips.

A moment later she was gone.

"I love you," Bella whispered to the empty room.

Bella was going to read, but ended up mulling over the materials used in the kitchen cabinetry. It was a light, almost white color that went very nicely with the dark hardwood floor beneath. She wished she could move this cabin to Forks. It was perfect...not just for its aesthetics but because of the memories it now held. The blush was impossible to stop, but since there was no one here to laugh Bella let her mind wander and replayed every wonderful moment she'd experienced over the last week with Rosalie. She'd have to thank the Denali's for their part in making it happen...if she could even attempt that with a straight face.

She looked at her watch. Rosalie's been gone for half an hour. It was now or never.

The plan she had been toying with for the last two weeks, ever since she found out where their vacation was going to be, came to the forefront of her mind. She had avoided making decisions or thinking too hard about what could or would happen for a specific reason. Moments after she finally made the decision, her phone started ringing. No caller ID necessary for this call.

"Alice," Bella greeted her friend.

"Are you insane?!" Alice wasn't screaming but she was pretty close to it. "Are you certifiable?! You can't! You absolutely can't!"

"Will it work?" Bella asked quietly.

"That doesn't matter!" Alice shrieked. "You can't do this Bella! Rosalie will flip!"

"It'll work, won't it?" Bella continued. "Please, Alice. Tell me the truth. Will it work? Will they be ok? Will I return ok?"

Alice's sigh was audible. "Yes...if nothing else changes. You know how my gift works. I don't see everything."

"But you see Esme and Carlisle, don't you?" Bella asked, gripping the phone tightly in her hand. "Will they be happy?"

Silence.

"Alice, I have to do this," Bella said as she put on her shoes. "Rosalie will never agree to come, and if by some miracle she does it won't end well, will it? I'm making the decision to tell her now. I'm insisting on it. What will happen?"

"Damn it, Bells," Alice sighed. "She tries to kill him again. They have to ask you and her to leave."

"And he doesn't come back," Bella finished.

"Why are you doing this?" Alice asked, desperate. "After everything he did? Knowing how much he hates you?"

Bella closed her eyes and reaffirmed her decision...to remind Alice why.

"For Esme," she said quietly. "And for Carlisle."

Alice sighed again. "Bella, be careful. I know you're fast...but there are nomads everywhere, especially in cold places. Don't stop, no matter what, until you get there. And don't stop until you're back in the cabin. I'll give Tanya a heads up."

"Thank you. Can you-can you see Rosalie? How long do I have?"

Pause.

"She's still running. So far she's planning a long hunt, probably 5 or 6 hours knowing her. But that can change any time."

"I'll leave her a note," she replied, already at work writing it. "Thank you Alice."

"I still think you're crazy. And Rosalie _will_ go nuts if she beats you back. I won't lie if she calls me."

"I wouldn't ask you to. I'll handle Rosalie. Thank you Alice," Bella said again.

After hanging up and without a moment to lose, Bella stepped outside and in a burst of fiery speed, made her way to Denali.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note II: OK please don't go all hatin' on me in the reviews. I know most of you despise Edward, but my aim for this fic has always been to maintain a sense of realism despite all the fantastic elements we have. I can't just leave him to on the periphery in lala land the whole time. That would be way too good to be true. I DO have plans for him. Muahaha.
> 
> Author's note III: You know what will make a happy, happy weekend for Darcy? Reviews, reviews, of course!


	39. Denali

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: This might seem like a filler chapter but it's actually pretty cruical. Enjoy! And damn it, REVIEW!

The large house stood about a mile away deep in the valley. If the lights weren't shining out of every window she may have missed it entirely. The terrain here was extremely difficult to navigate, but she managed the trip largely thanks to her studying scores of maps at the Seattle Public Library in preparation. Though flying was her preferred mode of travel, Bella refrained from spreading her wings for all but a fraction of the trip. The last thing she needed to deal with was somebody seeing _that_.

Deep breath. They can probably smell you now, she thought. Alice would've called them. They're prepared. Don't screw this up, she growled at herself.

Her steps through the valley were steady, but her heart, she knew, betrayed her. That house contained six vampires, five of whom she's never met. Her own safety didn't really cross her mind. The explorations of her gift that she had conducted this past week with Rosalie put her at ease where her safety was concerned. Fire was almost too easy now. It came to her with little effort on her part. No, Bella wasn't worried about her health. She worried about the ramifications of this visit. So much could happen...

She was a few feet from the front door. Inside, the unmistakable sound of a television ended abruptly. Bella counted to five and rang the doorbell.

Are all vampires drop dead gorgeous? The thought echoed through her mind when the door opened to reveal Tanya Denali standing in front of her.

Even if Rosalie hadn't described her in detail Bella would've known this was her. It made sense that the coven leader would answer the door when an uninvited guest showed up. Vampire propriety and all. Oh yeah...stop gawking and do this right!

"Hello, Tanya," Bella said in the most polite tone she could muster. "I'm Bella Swan. May I please come in?"

* * *

A chuckle escaped Tanya's lips-the first sound Bella heard from her, from any of them since she stepped into the lion's, er, vampire's den.

"There's nothing normal about you, is there?" Tanya's eyes glinted as she spoke. Around her, the two other blondes, Kate and Irina, smiled all the while keeping their eyes on the human girl.

"Um, Alice did call, right?" Bella asked, apprehensively.

"Yes," Kate replied, still smiling. "Nearly restarted our hearts, that one."

"Carmen and Eleazar took Edward to hunt," Irina added. "They should be back any minute."

Bella gulped. Next to these succubi, Edward was a piece of cake. She could handle Edward's bloodlust. She wasn't sure she could handle the strange looks these ancient vampires were giving her.

"We made you coffee," Tanya said, her face lighting up. "Are you brave enough to try it? First time any of us used the kitchen..."

How badly can they screw up coffee?

"Sure," Bella smiled politely. "Thank you, that was very kind."

"Don't thank us yet..." She heard Kate mumble.

Bella followed Tanya and her sisters into the kitchen and took the mug offered to her. Cheers God, she said to herself before taking a cautious sip. Horrible, but not poisonous...she hoped.

"It's good," she said and took another sip.

Tanya smiled wider and they all continued to stare at Bella as she quickly downed the rest of the cup.

"My god, she smells delicious," Kate whispered out loud.

"You gotta hand it to Rosalie for not feeding on her first chance she got. I don't think I could resist," Irina whispered back.

Oh shit.

"Um," Bella cleared her throat and blushed. "You know I can hear you, right?"

"Oh! My goodness that's right," Tanya said. "That's how you found out..."

"Yes," Bella replied. "Sorry, I don't mean to listen in. I can't really turn it off, you know?"

"I suppose we do," Tanya said slowly. "How good is your hearing anyway?"

"Nothing like yours," Bella blushed again. "I can hear people and nature from a great distance away if I concentrate. Vampires? Generally I need to be in the same room, or close to it to hear their voices."

"So she wouldn't have heard Edward whining on the way here? That's fortunate for her!" A soft, masculine voice reached her.

Bella looked towards the other side of the room where Edward and, she presumed, Eleazar and Carmen had come in through a patio door.

She quickly stood up to greet the remaining members of Tanya's coven.

"Eleazar. Carmen," Bella nodded towards each of them. "Hello, I'm-"

"Bella Swan," Carmen finished for her. "Well Bella, to say we've heard a lot about you would be _quite_ the understatement."

Right, then. She chose not to reply to that and instead caught Edward's eye. The last time she saw him he had caused her heart to break into a thousand pieces. He had left her no choice but to run away from the only family she had. She wanted to hate him. Hell, she had every right to. But Bella was never one to harbor such malevolence for others. Looking at him now, Bella felt only a twinge of pity for the boy. Even if she accomplished her goal and convinced him to return to Forks, she knew he would find the transition unbearably difficult. Edward was not popular in the Cullens' home. Esme and Carlisle would welcome him, she knew, but the others would not...at least not at first. That had to be hard, she thought, especially as he'd be able to hear every negative thought sent his way from his siblings.

Bella turned to speak but found herself distracted by the furtive glances the sisters kept giving Eleazar, and then her. Eleazar noticed her confusion and stepped forward.

"Forgive me, Bella," he stated softly. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just...well, do you know about my ability?"

Yes, she knew. "You can tell what a person's gift is."

"Yes," he said. "I understand you're highly gifted and wanted to see for myself...but I'm not getting anything."

Bella raised a brow. "You don't see a gift?"

"No, no...I don't see _anything_ ," he said, looking around him. "There's no gift...but there's also no absence of a gift...I see nothing at all..."

He paused and looked at her closely some more. Next to him, Edward cocked his head, obviously listening to the man's thoughts.

"Of course," Edward whispered, still staring at Eleazar as his mind churned. "She's a shield."

Suddenly Kate darted forward and grabbed Bella's arm. Bella, fully aware of Kate's powers, instantly braced herself for the pain...but none came.

"Damn," Kate whistled. "She's a shield, all right. That jolt should've killed her!"

Edward growled. "You touched her with full power? Are you insane?"

"Oh relax, Eddie," Kate drawled. "You're so strung up you can't hear when I exaggerate. Of course I didn't touch her with full power." She grinned wickedly. "Bet she'd like it if I did..."

"That's enough," Tanya said quietly. Bella couldn't help but admire the force in her voice. Carlisle never used such a tone, at least never in front of her. She wasn't sure if this was a coven leader thing or a blonde thing...because Rosalie had the same quality.

"Bella," she started. "I'm sure all of us are in agreement on this question...how are you with your control? I understand you've been working at it all sum-"

The fireplace across the room, dark and barren save for a couple of logs a second ago, burst into life as a roaring fire ignited and continued to crackle inside it.

"Oh my," she whispered.

From the corner of her eyes, Bella saw each member of the family take a wavering step back. Damn it, she thought.

"I would never hurt you," she said quietly. "Certainly not intentionally, and accidents don't happen anymore."

"Of course," Tanya whispered. "I'm sorry for our reaction. To be perfectly honest I don't think we fully believed your existence until now."

"Extraordinary..." Eleazar muttered. "And she's not even a vampire yet..."

Both Edward's and Bella's fists clenched at that. Bella looked down, missing the curious glance Tanya sent her way.

"We're being quite rude," Tanya finally said. "Bella, you wanted to have a word with Edward?"

"Right, yes," Bella replied as she looked his way once again. "Edward, I can keep my scent away from you if we step outside."

He nodded quickly and headed out the door. Bella paused before following him and turned to the coven leader.

"With your permission?" She asked.

Tanya smiled softly and nodded.

"Thank you," Bella said. "And...thank you for the cabin. It meant a lot to me that you'd do that for us."

When none of them looked like they were going to respond, Bella hurriedly nodded her goodbye and left after Edward.

* * *

The night stretched on along with the mountains. There were too many clouds in this area which obscured the bright stars. Bella could hardly see twenty feet in front of her and instead relied on Edward's shimmering figure to guide her. They walked several feet apart for what felt like a long time but was probably only a few minutes. Still, when Edward finally stopped the house looked to be at least a mile or two away.

"I'd rather not listen to their thoughts," he explained quietly.

They probably can't smell my scent anymore either, she thought. Rosalie's voice rang in her mind. _Be careful_.

"Why are you here?" He asked suddenly, turning to face her.

Bella looked at him and sighed. "I'm here to ask you to come back home."

Edward let out an incredulous chuckle. "Really, you _are_ insane."

"Esme's been calling you everyday," Bella said. "That doesn't mean anything to you?"

To his credit, it took only the mention of Esme's name for him to look wracked with guilt. He quickly got agitated and moved off to lean onto a tree. Before he did though, Bella spotted his eyes and cursed at herself for forgetting to do as she promised. A second later, strong gusts picked up around them and carried her scent away from Edward.

"Of course it does," Edward whispered as he studied the tree. "Bella, I'm very sorry for the things I said to you."

That was fast. "Thank you," she replied. "But you know that's not enough."

"What?"

Bella sighed. "Sorry-I mean, I'm not the only person you should be apologizing to. You wronged Rosalie too. And Emmett."

"Rosalie and Emmett..." he muttered darkly. "So you've really gone ahead with it then?"

Try not to set him on fire, she thought to herself. "If you're asking if I've entered into a relationship with Rosalie, then yes I have."

The branch Edward was clutching tore down the middle. "It won't work," he whispered. "There can only be one mate. It won't work."

Don't set him on fire, she repeated to herself. "Forgive me for being blunt...but do you have any experience on which to base that theory?"

This time he reacted with a laugh. A snide, derogatory laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. "No, no I suppose I don't," he said. "But come on, Bella! Is this really what you want for yourself? To always be the third wheel? To be the 'other woman'? To always have to explain to people what you are to her?"

Bella closed her eyes and counted to 10. "I love her, Edward. That's all that matters. She's my mate."

"You use that word like you understand what it means," he snarled. "You think you're the first one she's had an affair with?"

Twenty yards away, a large clearing at the foot of the mountain exploded so violently there appeared to be a lake of lava now in its place.

Edward took several steps back. "I thought you were in control..."

"I am," she growled back. "I _chose_ to set the grass on fire and not your head."

She turned to face him, anger still pouring out of her eyes. "I don't have to justify or explain anything to you, but since you asked _so nicely_ ," she snarled herself and stepped towards him as he took a step back, "I'll say this just once. What goes on between Rosalie and me is none of your business. What goes on between Rosalie and Emmett, and between all three of us is none of your business. And if Emmett and Rosalie and I decide to get it on and buy matching rings to celebrate our sinful, degenerate life together, the only thing you're allowed to say is "congratulations. Good luck. I'm happy for you."

When she finally felt herself calm down, Edward was standing with his back against the tree. His hair was covered in ash from the burnt leaves above. Deflated, Bella backed away from him and sat heavily on the ground.

"Edward I don't want it to be 'none of your business,'" she sighed. "Your family is my family now, which makes you my brother. I hate that you're out here away from everybody. Forget Rosalie and Emmett. I know you feel something for Esme and Carlisle. You're killing them like this. They want you back. Please, Edward, you're their son."

She looked up to see him pacing back and forth in front of her. Occasionally he'd stop and look her way but just as quickly he'd resume until he finally stopped on the other side of the clearing. Bella didn't want to beg, but she knew she'd do it if it came down to it. All summer she had forced herself to pretend not to notice Esme's sadness. All summer she tried not to let her guilt overtake her or distract her from training. No, she knew she was not responsible for him leaving...but in a sense she did feel some measure of responsibility.

She watched him carefully, looking for a sign. At least the bitterness was gone from his face. Instead he looked blankly out towards the mountains. He stood still in the way only a vampire can stand. Bella found her thoughts wandering for a while and counted her own heartbeats to pass the time. The minutes ticked by, and still he remained unmoving, unwavering in his gaze.

"Your blood still calls to me," he finally said.

"I'll shut it up," she countered, then sighed. "I can work harder to keep my scent down for you. It's much easier now that there are no secrets. I can help you if you'll let me."

"Bella," he called softly as he turned around. "Is there anything I can say? Anything at all...that might get you to reconsider your situation?"

He was trying for diplomacy, she could see that, but his words still cut her like a knife. His eyes though, showed her he was genuinely concerned. So she focused on them even though she couldn't understand most of the emotions flashing through them.

"My situation...? Edward, I found the person who completes me. End of story."

A faint light extinguished from his eyes. "And have you forgotten about the Volturi? Both of our covens will be held accountable should they ever find out about this."

Bella was beginning to tire and she still had the journey back to contend with. She sighed, "I'm going to rely on Carlisle's judgement here and agree with him that the Volturi have better things to do than knock on our door. What they don't know can't hurt anyone, right?"

"Right..." He whispered. "I think I need to hunt again. Tell...tell Esme I'll be home soon."

And just like that, he was gone. Bella sighed in relief, just barely comprehending that she had accomplished her goal and grateful that she hadn't blown him up trying. The cell phone in her pocket was useless right now-Charlie probably didn't think she'd be trying to make any calls from uninhabited Alaska when he purchased her plan. Calling Alice was impossible. So she concentrated on clearing her mind and calming her emotions, and made the decision to return to the cabin as quickly as possible.

* * *

Her heart fell the moment she felt the phone buzz in her pocket. Missed call. Missed call. Missed call. You said you could handle it, she thought to herself bitterly. She didn't dare pause outside the cabin. The second she reached the door she took a deep breath and stepped inside, where Rosalie sat waiting for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note II: See if you can pick up on the clues I left here for ya. They're rather integral to the plot :)


	40. Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note I: I told a lot of you that this would be out "soon" or in a couple of days, so I'm very sorry my words weren't true. I'm on vacation this week and I stupidly thought I'd have plenty of time to keep my word...except my vacation happens to be at a fitness/health bootcamp (say what? Yeah, everyone I know thinks I'm crazy too) and I've been working out to my max 6 hours a day all week. Needless to say I've been collapsing into bed every night this week before 7:30 PM. Getting 200 words out each night has been nothing short of a miracle.
> 
> Author's note II: Some things have changed since I initially thought of them, but I did listen to "Runaway" by The National a lot while thinking about Bella and Rosalie's fight.

Say something. Anything. The silence in the room was so absolute, Bella could easily make out her own thundering pulse. She remained standing by the door as she waited for Rosalie to make a move. Rosalie appeared as petrified and still as one of Carlisle's paintings.

The buzzing from both of their phones broke the stillness, though the tension remained. Alice had texted them both: 'You might want to go outside for this'. Oh shit. They knew what a message like that implied...Wordlessly Bella and Rosalie heeded Alice's warning and walked out the door...and not a moment too soon. Just as the door closed shut behind her, Rosalie leaped to the nearest tree and pummeled it into oblivion. It all happened so fast she was a blur to Bella, who could only stand close to the cabin as her girlfriend took out her anger on everything in sight.

A minute of this and Bella had to redirect her attention to the mangled trees flying through the air. Rosalie seemed to have awareness enough not to send any in her or the cabin's direction, but the Jeep was not as lucky. Fortunately, Bella saw the twenty foot log that was about to destroy Emmett's favorite car in time to divert it to a different path.

"Why?"

Startled, Bella shifted her concentration from the trees that were no longer crashing to earth back to Rosalie.

"Why?!" Rosalie hissed again.

Bella gulped and took a shaky breath, but that proved to be too long a wait for Rosalie. The last remaining tree was quickly uprooted. Rosalie slowed down finally, but spent the last agonizing minutes before Bella found her voice tearing through the fallen branches. When she finally stopped...when she finally lost the wild look in her eyes, the remnants of that part of the forest lay at their feet like the remnants of a violent earthquake.

"I didn't want to be the reason he stayed away," Bella whispered.

"Edward," Rosalie spat. "Him. The reason _you_ ran off before. Edward...who's made it _very_ clear what he thinks of our relationship...you risked your life with five other vampires you've never met...for HIM?!"

No, not for him. "Not for him," she repeated out loud. "For Esme."

"Bella!" Rosalie threw her arms up in the air. "We've all left. 100 years is a really long time for this many of us to not get sick of each other. Edwards's left before! So has Emmett! So have I!"

"Did any of you leave because you felt you couldn't be part of the family anymore?!" Bella yelled back. "I didn't think so."

Rosalie kicked a stone away in frustration. "You could've waited for me," she said. "We could've gone together."

"Would you have? Really?" Bella asked quietly. "I am sorry to have kept you in the dark. Truly, I am. I did it because I thought it would be the only way."

"Five vampires who-"

"Who were just as civilized and polite to me as your family," Bella interrupted. "I wouldn't have gone if the impression you all gave me of them was any less. Rose," she sighed, "I think they were more scared of me that I was of them after they saw what I could do."

Rosalie fidgeted in front of her as Bella closed off all her arguments.

"He thinks I'm a heartless bitch," she finally said. It was the first time since their fight began that her eyes reflected something other than anger. "He thinks I'm a whore for what I'm doing with you and Emmett. That our relationship has no meaning beyond sex. Of all people, Bella...him, of all people..."

The torment in Bella's eyes immediately erased all remaining anger from Rosalie's. She watched in alarm as smoke creeped out of one of the torn branches to their side.

"I couldn't stand it anymore," Bella whispered. "You, Emmett, Alice and Jasper couldn't care less, I know. But Esme and Carlisle cared. I have spent more time in your house than I care to keep track of...and Edward has spent more time than that away from it...and it's all because of me! First because of my scent, then because of what I knew and our relationship. However way you want to phrase it, what matters is that Carlisle and Esme love him like a son...and I'm the reason he's gone."

If Rosalie had a beating heart it would be pounding. She listened to Bella's words but most of her attention was fixated on the flames rising up, catching on the piles of logs all around them.

"She's a mother," Bella spoke, no longer looking at Rosalie and instead staring hard at the billowing fire. "If he's what she wanted she should have him. I have no right to stand in the way of that."

The log closest to Bella split open like an egg, its interior so hot that it flowed out like lava. Rosalie slowly approached her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Bella," she whispered worriedly. "What's going on? You're losing it."

Immediately, the flames died out and Bella moved closer inside Rosalie's waiting arms.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, tears streaming down her face. "For this...and for before."

"Ok," Rosalie shook her head as she tightened her embrace as much as safely possible for Bella. "It's done. It's over. I'm sorry too...for reacting the way I did." She kissed her softly on the forehead, wishing she could do something to stop the tears coming down in front of her. "Come on, we'll have to clean up here before we leave."

If she thought that would distract her from whatever was bothering her, Rosalie was sorely mistaken. Instead, Bella stiffened as she looked around through Rosalie's arms. When her stance did not change for too unnaturally long, Rosalie had to ask, "what is it?"

The voice that answered her came from a very different Bella than the one she and her family were used to.

"I've woken up to this so many times," Bella whispered as she took stock of their burnt surroundings. "This much damage though...it reminds me of the first time."

Rosalie cursed her luck-what were the odds that she'd accidentally find a way to remind Bella of the day her normal life ended? They all knew so little about that night. Bella had never divulged more than what she shared the day all their secrets came out of the dark. She held her tighter, trying to keep Bella's gaze away from the fire while she herself looked around. The mutilated trees laying haphazardly around them were taller than her and Bella in some places. She could imagine how this scene reminded her of the past, especially that night. What was it like to wake up to that level of destruction? Bella said half her neighborhood was wiped out. How the hell did she make it through that night?

She was startled out of her thoughts when Bella suddenly reached up and kissed her hard on the lips. Surprised, Rosalie followed her lead and kissed her back though she quickly grew confused at the ferocity Bella was displaying. Before long, Bella's hunger could not be satisfied by a mere kiss and the younger girl violently unzipped Rosalie's pants.

"Bells?" Rosalie asked when it looked like Bella might attempt to rip her jeans off.

"Please," Bella panted through their locked lips. "I need...I need a good memory." Something other than death and tears for these flames to witness. She didn't need to explain because Rosalie, as always, understood what she didn't say as well as what she did.

Wordlessly, Rosalie lowered her to the ground.

* * *

They made love that night with a burning passion that was intensified by their slow pace. Though exhausted from the trip she had taken and the emotional toll from speaking to Edward and then fighting with Rosalie, Bella continued to touch and yearn for Rosalie's touch well until dawn. When she came the first time, Rosalie had to remind her that it was ok for her to release the flames too. After that, each time Bella came more and more fallen logs split open releasing innards of liquid fire so that by morning a haphazard ring of Bella's unique destruction stood around where the girls had been.

Later, after they altered the scene around the cabin so it looked natural and got into the car, Bella fell into a soundless sleep. Rosalie on the other hand spent most of the drive back arguing silently with herself.

If someone had told her just a year ago that she'd be contemplating turning a human...but here she was, barely six months since meeting Bella and wanting to spend eternity with her more than anything else she's ever wanted. Whenever the thought came to her mind, Rosalie drove herself crazy with happiness at the implications...and self-hatred at what Bella would lose. What right did she have to stop the course of time for anyone? Despite having what many would consider one of the best vampire "lives" one could have, Rosalie would give just about anything to undo it all and have a chance at a normal, linear life. Until very recently, even death as a result of Royce's crime would have been a more humane option than the frozen life she had to endure now.

Finding Emmett probably saved her from finding a way to end her existence. If it wasn't for the undeniable love she felt for him she would've long ago committed suicide by Volturi. Before him she merely existed. After...she lived. And now she had Bella. Rosalie wasn't a fool. She knew she would've never even met the girl if she wasn't frozen in time. The fullness in her heart that sometimes took her proverbial breath away when she thought of Bella and Emmett would never have taken hold if she wasn't a vampire. If Rosalie believed in fate she would've thought that she was meant to be turned in order to find the two people who would complete her.

None of this changed the fact that turning Bella would end her normal life. Now that she had some measure of control over her insane gift, Bella could more or less blend in with others. She could go to college, have a career. She could have a family. Rosalie gripped the steering wheel harder, thinking of the things Bella could have and she could not. Everyone in the Cullen household (sans Alice, whose past was still a mystery) was turned against their will by an outsider or because they were dying. Never before had any of them actually wanted to turn someone who had a choice. This was something they've all been thinking about, she knew, and a conversation that they couldn't keep putting off for much longer.

They were back in civilization when Bella awoke briefly. Rosalie smiled to herself at the small yawn she let out and how she unconsciously moved her hand to the middle of the front seat so Rosalie could intertwine it in hers. Bella stayed leaning on the passenger side window, probably too fatigued to change her position. A car pulled up next to them at a stoplight and Rosalie noticed Bella staring hard into it. She looked over and saw a family chatting inside-a mother, a father, and three children in the back.

Steeling herself, Rosalie asked tentatively, "Do you want kids, Bella?"

Whatever response she was hoping for, she certainly didn't expect Bella to curl her lip back and almost...growl.

"No," Bella said curtly. She didn't volunteer anymore and Rosalie, after looking at her face, knew better than to ask.

* * *

"Bella Bear!" Emmett shouted as he twirled his best friend around. "I'm impressed," he whispered. "Glad to see you back in one piece."

Esme was next. Though Bella was tired enough to pretty much collapse into her bed in the shed, Esme and Emmett couldn't wait till the next day to see her. While Emmett and Rosalie embraced, Esme took the young girl into her arms and didn't let go for quite some time.

"You didn't need to do what you did," Esme said quietly in her ear. "But thank you, sweetheart. Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Obviously there's a lot more to Bella's psyche than meets the eye :) Hope you enjoyed! Please review if you have a chance. I'm gonna go get my ass whooped some more today and tomorrow. :-/ Sigh.


	41. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"Aaaaaghh," Emmett groaned.

"Hush!" Rosalie laughed. "The whole town will hear!"

"No, they won't," grinned Emmett as he stretched even more on the warm grass. "Aaaaaaagh!", he groaned again, louder this time to drown out Rosalie' tisk-tisking next to him. They were laying on their backs on their favorite cliff outside of Forks, feet dangling off the edge and basking in the warmth of the sun. This high up, they were above the cloud bank that covered the city and could enjoy the sun's rays in complete privacy. That privacy often led to other...amorous activities as well which they often took advantage of when they came here. They did so again this morning (and again and again) but now both of them were content to just lie next to each other and relish each other's company.

A sudden chuckle from him had Rosalie eying him warily. "What?" she asked.

"Don't kill me," he said with a glint in his eyes. "Ever wonder if you really are related to them?"

"Oh for god's sake," she puffed.

"Come on! I'm serious!" He cried out, "You even _look_ like them."

"Jasper looks like them too."

"Jasper doesn't have what you got, babe."

"Don't start," she rolled her eyes. This wasn't the first time Emmett had wondered out loud at the strange similarities between his wife and the three succubi in Alaska. The most obvious being, of course, her insatiable sexual appetite.

"Hey, I'm not complaining," he grinned. She turned and gave him a look. "Well, not anymore!" He added reluctantly. "I've got a wingman now!"

Rosalie shook her head, torn between wanting to flick him off the cliff and snuggling closer into his side. She decided on the latter.

Both quieted down for a while and listened to the birds before Emmett spoke again.

"You should bring her up here," he said quietly. "Show her this place."

Rosalie frowned and looked up. "You don't have to do that, Em. This place is ours. You shouldn't give up everything."

He shrugged and turned onto his side so he could look at her as he spoke. "I don't think of it like that. I _want_ these things for _her_. She's not just your lover, not to me. She's-"

"She's your Bella Bear..." Rosalie finished and smiled gently.

"I'd rather keep some things separate for now," she whispered. "That'll probably change...but I think it'll do us all good while we get used to this. But...it would be nice for the three of us to do something together. I think Bella would like that."

"I'd like that too," Emmett smiled. "Maybe we could go somewhere Christmas break? The beach? Hey, I call dibs on buying her a swimsuit!"

"Absolutely not!" Rosalie laughed. "You'll have the poor girl dressed like Princess Leia!"

Emmet whistled. "Now that'd be a sight...provided you're in a matching suit of course."

She slapped his arm. "Ass."

* * *

**Author's Note: The song that Bella plays till the end of the chapter is "The Shape of Things To Come" from Battlestar Galactica (2004-2009 remake) and is the piano version by Joohyun Park. It's youtubeable. Please hit CTR-T and listen to it :) On a completely sidetracked note, I have to take the time to praise Battlestar Galactica (All hail!) and its music composer Bear McCreary for 1. one of the awesomest TV shows on the planet and 2. one of the best tv/movie scores EVER created.**

* * *

The music drifted through the house from the living room where Bella had been playing for the last few hours. The piece was finally starting to come together. Esme stopped for a few seconds to listen as the melody took shape before resuming her final once-over of Edward's room. Everything looked as it should. New furniture, sound system, and as many books and records as she and Carlisle could think to buy. Downstairs, the music room too had received a similar makeover. There was little else she could do now but wait and wonder when he'd return home. Alice had not had any visions of him and it had been almost a week since Bella and Rosalie's return. All calls went unanswered.

She hummed along with Bella's song as she made her way through the now heavily used kitchen. A little olive oil here, a touch of paprika there, and a whole lot of chopping later...ingredients not only for Bella's dinner but for a soothing few minutes during which Esme could think in peace. She would miss this when the girl became one of them. As usual when she indulged in this sort of thinking, the heavy guilt descended until she nearly felt sick. It was horrible that she wanted this so much. She wanted Bella's human life to end-there was no other way to put it. And yet...don't people crave eternal life? If given the choice between wasting away and eternal youth, wouldn't most people choose life...no matter how lifeless it seemed? And was it really all that terrible, this life she and her family led? They did not kill innocents. She and Carlisle earned an honest living and invested wisely (honesty there rather stretched, she had to admit, since Alice's visions were decidedly not an ethical way of conducting business). They gave back to the community through countless charities. Before she had someone to cook for, all the food she bought to maintain their cover went straight to the food bank. Their nature was to be ruthless, murderous, and unfeeling...and yet all of them have managed to set aside that vileness and become upstanding members of society. They were good and kind and charitable. No one could say Bella would be giving up a natural life for an immoral one if she followed their lifestyle. She sighed...who was she kidding? Vampires are no fairytale. To be one meant subscribing to the authority of the Volturi. It meant clashes over territory. It meant having to deal with nomads and newborns. Worst of all, it meant dealing with death. She and Carlisle had largely insulated themselves and their family from this with their vegetarian lifestyle and congenial approach to other vampires...but somewhere above them, death always hung waiting to drop. Inevitably someone makes a mistake. It happened to her. It happened to most of her children. Bella had already seen so much, caused so much...she shuddered at the thought of the poor child having the added burden of blood lust on top of her other burdens.

"Do you need any help?" Rosalie asked from the doorway, interrupting her thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh, no sweetie. Thank you, I'm just about done here."

But Rosalie seemed determined to help somehow and so picked up the dish towel and started to dry the few dishes by the sink. Esme knew her daughter well-something was on her mind.

"I can't bring myself to speak of it," Rosalie whispered. "I just can't, Esme."

"Oh honey," Esme sighed quietly. From this distance she knew Bella couldn't hear. She was far too focused on her music now anyway. "I know. It's been torturing me too."

"Are we so selfish as to go through with it?" Rosalie asked, the pain clear in her eyes. "Would we really wish this on someone who had a choice? Esme, I just want her to be happy...but I want her _with me_."

Esme took the towel from her shaking hands and held them in her own. "She is happy with you," she said. "She positively glows when you're near her. I think whatever happens, as long as she has you she will be happy."

"But-"

"No buts," Esme said with a confidence that did not at all reflect her conflicted emotions. "It's far too early to even be considering this. She has two years left of high school. You have time to talk to her. Don't torture yourself for nothing...but Rosalie, think carefully about this: Whenever, if ever it happens...or doesn't happen...would you love her any less?"

"Of course not..."

"Then don't dwell on it," Esme said. "Focus on living now-you and her. Focus on your relationship. With Emmett too. Make things work over the next two years and then...and then what will come will come."

Rosalie nodded as she hugged her. Esme hoped she wouldn't see through her blatant hypocrisy. She knew she wouldn't be following her own advice and that this topic would constantly be on her mind until a variable changed. Regardless, she hoped her brave front would be enough to soothe Rosalie's guilt. They were all just beginning to get used to the strange anomaly that was a giddy, overjoyed Rosalie. Bella was the final key, along with Emmett, that unlocked a truly happy Rosalie, and Esme didn't want her internal conflicts to overshadow that.

Bella too, had a serenity about her that felt out of place in a human. Jasper had confided to her his observations...that Rosalie's presence acted much like his calming power over her. The blonde needed only to touch her before Bella's raw negative emotions were subdued. It was much the same with Emmett, especially when he was still a newborn. Both he and Bella were enchanted by Rosalie, she thought with a smile.

A couple of odd notes reached her ears and she giggled at Bella's frustrated growl. She fixed it soon enough though, and Esme stood by the entrance to the living room so she could watch her play.

* * *

Alice was starting to get annoyed with her family. First Bella, and now Edward seemed to have mastered the art of not making decisions in order to thwart her visions. The school year was to begin in two days time. Edward had to make it back by then. But if he was making the trip he certainly made no plans for it. Nor did he decide to hunt, to read a book, to take a long walk, or any of the typical things that Edward did. Since this was highly unusual the only thing she could deduce was that he, like Bella had done in Canada, was actively avoiding her visions. Ugh. What was the point of having a clairvoyant in the family if they didn't use her gift?

A moment later, her eyesight got blurry as the familiar start of a vision came through. But it wasn't Edward. It was Bella deciding the song was finished and planning to play it through one more time now that it was complete. Sigh...well so much for that. While disappointed that she hadn't seen Edward, she was aware enough to notice how much easier it was to see Bella's decisions when she was on the piano. Not that she left her spaced out state that often when she really got into the music...but when she did, Alice was guaranteed to get something from her...a rarity, that was for sure. She'd seen decisions to move measures around, decisions to get more water, decisions to go to the bathroom (Alice would rather she forget that image) and so on.

She was halfway through her song when she picked up his scent. They all did, she could see. Everyone became still, save for Bella who continued on in blissful ignorance. Rosalie and Emmett, who were sitting together on the loveseat visibly stiffened, though this time it was Emmett's touch that helped calm her down. Jasper and Carlisle looked up from their chess game in the corner. Esme sighed in relief.

As for Alice...she wasn't the empath, but even she could sense the unease sweeping the room. When it came to Bella, Edward was a loose cannon...in more ways than one. He paused at the front door. She guessed that he was listening to Bella's music and that he didn't want to interrupt with his entrance. Whatever was going on in his head, the family stood absolutely still waiting for Bella to finish playing. Too soon for some of them, she finally did. Her small satisfied smile slowly changed to confusion than to understanding when Edward walked into the room.

He cleared his throat. "That was very good, Bella." He paused and looked at his family. "Hello everyone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Sorry this is on the shorter side. I had some more planned but decided last minute I wanted it in a different chapter to maximize drama :) Would love to hear your thoughts!
> 
> By the way, in case you're wondering how serious I am about this fic...I know exactly what's gonna be in the epilogue. SO, have no fear O wonderful readers. Your devotion will not be in vain (you know, unless I get killed or something...wouldn't that just suck?).


	42. Beloved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: M rating at the start. You have been warned. (I'm trying very, very hard to walk the fine line of showing a couple with a healthy sex life and not going overboard or, conversely, not showing enough. Aside from the frequency of the acts, I hope the language I use is neither too hardcore nor too flowery...you know, the kind that makes you ask yourself "wait, what just happened?")

Somewhere above her, Bella thought she heard Rosalie release a drawn out sigh...but she was kind of busy at the moment and a little too distracted to notice or care about anything other than what she was doing to her girlfriend.

In the midst of her pleasure, Rosalie forgot her rules and reached for Bella's head to pull her closer before suddenly remembering and instead wrapped them behind her own pillow. God damn, it was so hard to keep from touching her human...to keep from pulling and pushing and twisting against her. But Rosalie knew herself well enough to know that any such display of passion would end horribly for Bella. Even by vampire standards Rosalie had always been a bit...rough. There was really no point wishing for all the things she wanted to do but couldn't with a human Bella. She should just clear her mind and enjoy-

"Oh, fuck! Oh, god..."

Bella grinned from between Rosalie's legs. On a whim she had decided to try something new. Her grin didn't last long since she needed her tongue back inside Rosalie.

In the meantime Rosalie had already ripped the pillow behind her in half. She balled her fists together and tried to keep from connecting them to anything else that could break. In the end she settled for wrapping them around her own head and concentrated on keeping the movements of her body at a level Bella could handle. No easy task what with what Bella was doing to her.

At last Bella felt the now familiar signs of Rosalie's imminent climax and doubled her efforts. When Rosalie moans tripled and her body tensed up, Bella held onto her thighs even tighter and pushed her tongue in as far as it could go.

"You're getting much too good at this..." Rosalie whispered, still riding the calm afterglow.

"And who's fault is that?" Bella teased as she found herself wrapped in the other girl's arms.

Rosalie sent a playful slap her way. "You can be pretty demanding too."

Yes, she certainly could, Bella thought, blushing. Though not quite at Rosalie's levels, Bella had been surprised and embarrassed to find herself hungry for her girlfriend's touch more...well, more than she was for anything else. It wasn't always sexual though. At the end of the day, or during a lull while training with Carlisle, Bella felt at her most calm when she got to hold Rosalie in her arms or when she rested her head on her lap. It was like she was making up for the seven years during which she had rarely touched another living soul.

As if reading her thoughts, Rosalie started gently caressing and kissing her.

"I wish we could stay here all day," Bella sighed, frowning. The real world had crept up so slowly...but it was here now and she had to face it. They had to be in school in a couple of hours.

"Won't things be easier now that you can control it?"

Bella said nothing. Yes, of course things would be infinitely easier now that the likelihood of killing all her classmates had dwindled to zero. But that wasn't what had Bella dreading the day. She was good, too good at masking her emotions when she wanted to. The truth was, people still freaked her out. The Cullens were quite literally the only exceptions in a long list of failed social interactions. Seven years was a long time...and her experience with people before that would have anyone opting to be a hermit rather than face that world.

Would the long summer months be enough for Jessica and Lauren, and everyone else to forget to hate her? When her friends had to stay away on sunny days, would she ever find a reason to smile while imprisoned in that building?

Not wanting to unload all these fears and general anxiety onto Rosalie, Bella simply smiled wearily.

_Knock, Knock._

Bella froze. Shit, what was Charlie doing here on a weekday?

"Uh," Bella sat up and looked at the door downstairs.

_Knock, Knock._

"Are you gonna get that?" Rosalie asked with a smile.

Bella shoved her lightly. "Thanks for warning me! Shit, uh," she stumbled, looking at Rosalie's naked body, "can you please hide?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes but complied. "I can't believe I'm doing this," she muttered.

Bella hurriedly slipped on a pair of shorts and a shirt and, after she made sure Rosalie couldn't be seen, opened the door.

Charlie stood five feet from the door, hands behind him and back as straight as an arrow. He looked about as comfortable as a cat with a hairball.

"Good morning," he said.

"Morning," Bella replied. Easy now, she thought to herself.

"Um, you know you have school today, right?" He asked.

Bella's eyebrows shot up her forehead. Was he really here to remind her to go to school? What, like she was going to forget?

"Yes," she answered slowly.

"Right," he said. "Uh, well, here." He handed her a new bag pack. "I noticed your old one was getting pretty ratty. There's things in there you can use too."

Bella took the bag carefully and peered inside. Notebooks, binder, and a spiffy graphing calculator. She gulped...those things were expensive.

"Lady in the store said juniors need those so..."

"Thanks," she said.

He nodded. Then, as if he suddenly remembered he looked up and asked, "Did you enjoy yourself on that trip?"

Before she could answer, Rosalie's voice drifted from above and into her ears: "She certainly enjoyed me fucking her brains out."

Bella struggled not to react. "Um, yea. Yes, I did."

"Good, good. See anything interesting?" He asked.

"Like her girlfriend's naked ass? You bet!" Rosalie whispered.

"Uh huh," Bella said. "Lots of mountains. It was neat."

"Good, good. Uh, you know if you want...well, if you want to you can invite any of them to come here. You can use the house...if you want to that is," he said, looking down.

Bella tried, she really tried to think of something to say before Rosalie opened her mouth. But she was too late.

"Already came today, but thanks for the offer," Rosalie whispered. "I'm sure I'll come again later though."

Beet red, Bella composed herself and looked down at the floor.

"Th-thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

"Right, well. Have a-have a good day at school."

Bella shut the door and turned around to find Rosalie lounged on her couch with a most wicked grin on her face.

"I'm gonna kill you," Bella growled before lunging at her.

* * *

Emmett chuckled at the terrified boy's expense. He had to admit, his favorite part about the endless redo's of high school was watching hapless boys gawking and trying to talk to his wife. Usually one glare from her was enough to have them nearly pee their pants. In this case it was a freshman...cocky little kid who was probably used to dating whomever he wanted. You couldn't blame them for staring, really. But the kid should've taken her killer glare to heart. Trying to talk to Rosalie when she wore that face...really not the best move to preserve one's health.

"I almost feel sorry for them," Bella giggled from her seat next to him. They were in Emmett's jeep waiting for the first warning bell to ring. Rosalie lost the draw and had gone inside the main office to retrieve all their schedules.

"You should've seen her 50 years ago," Emmett reminisced. "I had to act the rowdy kid so people wouldn't hear her growl all day long."

"She is something..." Bella smiled, before quickly glancing at him. But she needn't worry-Emmett's eyes showed only affection.

"You don't have to be so careful around me, Bells," he said, watching her blush. "I was fully aware what I'd be getting myself into, and I'm still cool with it. Are you forgetting that I'm the one who practically shoved the two of you together?"

Bella sighed sheepishly. "How can I forget, Em?" She snuggled a little closer next to him. "What do you say when...when people tell you you're wrong?"

Emmett narrowed his eyes. "By people you mean Edward? No, you don't have to answer that," he sighed. "I tell...them...that Rosalie's the love of my life...and she's the love of yours. Bella, it's a miracle that she let you in. In all the years we've been together, she hasn't done that for anyone. Even the family...they only see what Rose lets them." He smiled, "I still don't know how the hell I managed to break through. But I did somehow, and so did you. So Edward can suck it. You make Rosalie happy and for that you have my blessing and my love." He quieted for a moment before saying, "You also kick my ass at Halo, so you have my respect too."

Bella smiled warmly and hugged him as best she could in the car. "I love you, you know that?"

He grinned. "Aww, don't make me blush!"

She shook her head and smiled, but Emmett soon noticed the faraway look in her eyes again.

"I think if I could find a way," she started quietly, "I'd go back and kill Royce myself."

Emmett's grin abruptly left his face, and he had to let go of the steering wheel for fear of crushing it. 80 years later and he still could barely control his anger, or manage the sadness that accompanied it when he thought of what his Rose had gone through on her last human night.

"That's the first thing I wanted to do too," he whispered. "I swear I would have if she hadn't already gotten them."

Neither could say anything else. For both of them, the pain of what their lover had endured could not be channelled through words. They felt so helpless. Time may heal all wounds but Emmett knew better than anyone that Rosalie was not healed. He looked at the girl beside him and saw how she too looked like she wanted to cry and simultaneously hit something. Rosalie may not be over what happened to her, he thought, but Bella was helping her accept who-and what-she was. Without a doubt, Rosalie in the last few months was the happiest he'd ever seen her. Part of that had to do with Bella. But part of it also, he knew, had to do with her finally beginning to come to terms with her frozen state. Finding Bella, falling in love with her...maybe they weren't as frozen as they thought?

Soon enough, Rosalie was walking out of the office and back to the car. And just like that, the sight of her had Emmett and Bella smiling again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Another short one, but surely I get some brownie points for updating in 3 days? :) Please let me know what you think. Every review I get makes my day a little brighter. I most definitely appreciate constructive criticism, and I must say it's fun to read what you think will happen. I cheer a little when someone guesses close...and I cheer a lot when nobody figures out where I'm going! Love you!


	43. Sting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

She should've known. Until meeting the Cullens, luck was not something Bella was familiar with. She really had no reason to think she would be as lucky in her classes as she was last year. Either the school administrators thought she, Jessica, and Lauren worked well together or they were harboring a secret sadism for Bella...because the three of them shared almost every class this year. There was nothing Bella could do...not when so many of her classes would be so affected. And of course, the cherry on top of this cake from hell was that her friends wouldn't be with her for the majority of these classes.

She could feel Jasper's eyes on her as they walked out of European History together-the only class she shared with him.

"I'm fine, Jasper," she sighed.

"You can't lie to me, Bella," he whispered. "I can tell, remember?"

Bella said nothing. She merely gritted her teeth and concentrated on the path to her locker. While she could put on a brave face and act unaffected for her friends' sake, Jasper was right-she couldn't fake it with him.

All day, the whispers had followed. Even when she conscientiously turned off her ability to listen she still spied her name come up, rendering her ability to ignore her peers useless. Most likely they were encouraged by her lack of protection in classes. No Rosalie or Emmett to glare at them made them significantly more audacious than they were last year.

Bella couldn't understand what had changed. Was it obvious how intimate she was with the Cullens? After becoming even closer to them over the summer, she now found herself seeking physical proximity to them that she doubted existed in June. In the hallways when they spotted one another, was the unadulterated happiness and relief on Bella's face cluing people in on the fact the they were much more than just friends?

The Cullens possessed a thick armor, figuratively and quite literally, that Bella herself did not have. They had decades to grow accustomed to this sort of treatment, but with the added bonus of instilling enough fear in others that people generally didn't dare cross the line with them. Bella possessed no such gifts. And she was further handicapped by her memories of her life before...every whisper, every stare, every snide remark reminded her of more terrible memories she couldn't escape.

By the time lunch rolled around, Bella's stomach was coiled around itself painfully. She wasn't in danger of exploding-her control in that regard was stellar now-but that didn't mean she couldn't feel it inside. It wanted to come out...and it hurt.

No more secrets meant there were no more reasons to eat alone on the school roof. But as the room quieted and the whispers increased while she walked towards their table, Bella began to seriously reconsider the merits of that decision.

"Hey, Bells," Emmett said. "How's it going?"

"Fine," Bella smiled after she briefly flicked her eyes in Jasper's direction. 'Don't say anything,' she mentally begged him. "I wish they'd assign something in English that I haven't read."

"Is there anything in the English language you haven't read?" Emmett teased. He pulverized a few fries on his plate and Bella was briefly distracted, thinking how incredible it was that nobody in decades had noticed that none of them ate.

Before she opened her own lunch bag to unpack the sandwich Rosalie had made for her this morning, the girl in question laid a hand on hers. Bella looked up, her pain momentarily quelled by Rosalie's touch.

"What happened?" She whispered. Rosalie's eyes were full of concern and love, and Bella hated to lie to her.

"Nothing," she replied, hoping her amused grin would be enough of a distraction for her, for all of them. "Jessica and Lauren must've been pretty eager to see me, that's all. Nothing new. Nothing I can't handle."

She took a bite from her sandwich and quickly changed the subject. "How are you liking Computer Programming, Alice? As easy as you thought it would be?"

* * *

Jasper watched as Bella skillfully moved the conversation around the table to talk about anything but what was clearly (to him, anyway) bothering her. Nothing made sense. Bella was laughing as she spoke to Alice and Emmett, but on the inside, he knew she was hurting. Every once in a while, she'd glance around the cafeteria and sure enough, she'd flinch as if burned when catching sight of someone looking back at her. He knew they were talking about her, about all of them. But this was normal. Wherever they went, he and his siblings have always been fodder for rumors. It was expected especially in a small town like this. But even he had to admit that the students' way of interacting with Bella had a different...flavor than the way they interacted with him.

Still...this is the girl who defied Rosalie for crying out loud! The one who stood her ground and gained the respect of two large covens. She spends the majority of her time with creatures whose nature compels them to drink her blood. And she does it all without blinking an eye, and with the most grace he has ever witnessed in a human. So where did she go? This Bella was someone entirely new. This Bella had nothing to say when Lauren continually taunted her strained relationship with her father, a fact that had become common knowledge much to his surprise. He knew she wasn't exactly popular last year either, but did their presence in most of her classes back then really make that much of a difference?

Beside him, he could feel Edward's equal surprise with Bella's behavior. He knew her the least, but through their thoughts he had learned a lot about her. From him, Jasper could detect mild confusion, surprise, and curiosity. He also sensed anticipation. Jasper looked down at his schedule and saw why: Edward and Bella were finally going to be in a class together.

* * *

Bella sighed in relief when Edward nodded towards the empty seat next to him. She could handle a vampire struggling not to kill her. No problem. He had chosen the table well-it was right by a window.

"Open it," she whispered to him as she set her things down. He did and she quickly sent her scent flying through it and away from Edward.

"Thanks," he said. His eyes slowly brightened to their usual gold. "I'm sorry things are more difficult for you. Jessica and Lauren are skilled information gatherers...and disseminators."

"How did they find out?" She asked. She had been taken by surprise earlier when Lauren, in a clear attempt to rile her, made an off-handed comment about her shed.

"It's difficult to make sense of it," Edward whispered back. "Someone who told someone who saw something who said something until it got to her. None of them have actually seen the property if that's what you're worried about."

The teacher's entrance spared her from coming up with a response.

After the usual first day speech and an explanation of their first in-class assignment, Mr. Banner quickly had them working in pairs to identify and write down all the tools they'd be using in class as well as the parts of the microscope. Bella and Edward found a good rhythm and finished long before anyone else, to Mr. Banner's approval. Bella didn't feel like talking and she felt grateful that Edward didn't push her.

"Think she's angling for Edward?" she heard Jessica whisper to Lauren. They weren't even trying to keep their voices down.

"Isn't it obvious?" Lauren snickered. "Probably thinks he'll magically change her life or something."

"Ugh, that's so wrong," Jessica said vehemently. "He deserves better."

Bella resisted the urge to slam her head onto the table. Beside her, Edward cocked his head and pretended to be busy with the piece of paper in his hand.

"Just ignore them," he whispered. "We've all heard much worse over the years."

"How do you do it?" She asked, genuinely curious. "How can you stand listening to their thoughts?"

He shrugged. "Over time I've learned to ignore it. They're just petty humans, Bella. You're much more than that. Don't let them bother you so much."

Bella raised an eyebrow. Wasn't she just another petty human too? Two months ago he was going up a wall because she was human. Bella sighed. She had too much on her mind to worry about what was going on in Edward's.

* * *

Please let this day come to an end, Bella silently repeated to herself. She'd be fine. She knew she would. Some time alone was all she needed to realign her expectations for the year. She had been foolish to forget...foolish to think things might be a little better. She made that mistake every September when she was younger, and here she was doing the same thing...with the exact same results.

"Pay attention!" Jessica hissed.

Bella rolled her eyes but said nothing. Her Gym class grade wasn't going to deteriorate because of her tendency to space out. As alarming as it first seemed to be trapped with Jessica, Lauren, Mike and Tyler in one class, it wasn't so bad if Bella focused on staying out of their way. That meant keeping away from the action...and that meant ample opportunities to space out and think.

"So Bella," Mike grinned while Jessica was busy with another player a ways down. "Since you have your own 'house' practically, does Chief Swan care if you bring boys home?"

Harhar, she thought.

"Not at all, Mike," Bella found her voice. "But there's a minimum penis length requirement to get through my door. I don't think you'd qualify."

Predictably, his face turned red. "Watch it," he whispered. "Doors on those sheds aren't too strong."

"You watch it," Bella hissed back. "You've gotta be pretty mental to threaten the Chief's daughter. And if he doesn't arrest your ass...Emmett will leave it bloody raw."

It happened in a split second and then it was gone. Mike's facial expression changed from anger to pain as he felt a burning session on the anatomical part they had just been discussing. It was over as soon as it had begun though, and Mike, though still reeling from the effects of that little sting, walked away in confusion without another word.

Bella immediately felt guilty for what she had done. That could have gone very badly. She could've done much more damage or even killed him. And while he was obviously a prick based on the threats he so casually made to her, Bella had no right to decide or execute his punishment. On the other hand...that felt...incredibly good. A familiar feeling of satisfaction swept through her body and made her eager to experience it again. It was just like the brief seconds after one of her more destructive episodes in the past when everything inside her had poured out. Those seconds of gratification were always quickly overwhelmed with fear and remorse because usually she'd have to deal with death in the vicinity.

But no one had died here. Mike had already moved on-he was flirting with Jessica who happily reciprocated. Jessica passed the ball and Bella followed its path until it reached Lauren. Those two had made her feel miserable today. Why couldn't they just ignore her? The rest of the students unfortunately seem to follow their lead and Bella had to endure endless jabs about her living situation all day. She passed the ball to someone else and eventually it came to Bella.

Lauren sniggered to Jessica as they both looked at something behind her. Bella didn't need to turn around to know that someone, probably Tyler by the sound of his breathing, was trying to sneak up on her. Quickly, Bella threw the ball as hard as she could at Lauren who caught it deftly...and then dropped it just as quickly as she yelped in pain. Lauren looked up, surprised. Her hands shook for a few moments before the pain passed. Bella moved out of Tyler's way but kept her eyes on Lauren's.

She got through the last class of the day without further incidence or another word, but the message in her eyes was loud and clear for anyone that bothered to look: _don't fuck with me_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: And the roller coaster that is Bella's life twists and dips...


	44. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Soundtrack for this chapter (important): Metamorphosis Two & Five by Philip Glass.

Bella awoke with a bitter taste in her mouth that had nothing to do with morning grogginess. It was still dark outside and the birds had yet to stir. She lay in bed a long time just concentrating on breathing, on keeping her heartbeat steady. If she didn't force herself to get up, she knew, she'd probably spend the whole day like this. But this was too important...and she would need the early start.

Outside her home, even though it was still dark she could tell it would be another dreary day in Forks. There was already a light mist that covered her clothes and hair by the time she reached Charlie's front door. Today of all days, she wouldn't dare take the risk of talking to him in person. Who knew what state of mind he'd be in? Keeping herself sane today would be difficult enough. No, the piece of paper in her hand went swiftly under the front door. Hopefully her brief note would be enough of a heads up for him if the school called.

With her bag tied securely to her shoulders, Bella looked to the stars for bearings, then sped as fast as she could towards Phoenix.

* * *

Charlie's eyes opened long before the alarm went off. He had his routine perfected down to the minute, so he waited patiently for his alarm to signal the start of the day. No variations today, not if he could help it. When it finally rang he rose from his bed and made his way to the bathroom down the hall. After he finished the necessities, he took out the shaving cream and razor he kept in the medicine cabinet and proceeded to take care of his face. It had been over a week since he was clean-shaven and he didn't want to look scruffy today. After trimming his mustache and rinsing his face, he stopped for a moment and stared back at the man in the mirror. The man looked so much older than his real age. Then again, he felt even older on the inside. When did his hair start graying? There was a permanent look of weariness in his eyes and in his whole demeanor. It had been there so long, he could hardly remember a time when he wasn't thoroughly exhausted.

He turned off the faucet and finished getting dressed. Like he did every morning for eight years he poured himself a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee, and downed both as fast as he could.

The piece of paper in the hall by the door stopped him in his tracks as he was making his way out. Carefully, he opened the note and read it:

_Won't be in school today. Won't be reachable. -Bella_

He made to crumple it up but stopped himself. Gently, he folded it back up and placed it in his pocket. Where would she go, he wondered. He thought of doing the same, of calling out and disappearing for a while, but just as quickly that thought was scrapped. Working would get him through this day, as it always had.

On his way to the cruiser he pulled out his phone and called the school. _Bella Swan is home sick_ , he lied. _Yes, yes_ , he continued with the nosy administrator, _it's hard luck she had to fall ill on her birthday. Thank you, I'll pass that along_.

* * *

The roof of the chapel provided an excellent hiding spot. There was a section off to the side that was surrounded by different elevations of the roof. The space was small but Bella could still fit in it along with her backpack. When she was finally settled, no one walking in the cemetery below could see her but, most importantly, she had an unobstructed view of her mother's grave site.

This was the third time she's come here on her birthday. By the time she turned 15, she had mustered enough to control to brave what she knew would be an ordeal. Every time though, she had stayed in this spot and had not ventured any closer. Too risky, she always believed. It was dangerous enough just coming here. One wrong move, one wrong feeling, and the whole cemetery could explode. That was the last thing she wanted especially because many of the victims that died along with her mother were buried here too.

She opened her bag and took out a sandwich. Running like that always made her ravenous and she hoped she stocked the bag sufficiently. Numb down, she thought to herself. Though her control was better than ever before, her emotional state on this day scared her enough to remain cautious. She would not budge from this spot.

* * *

For such a small town there sure were a lot of idiots, Charlie thought. You'd think living with their weather would make people better drivers, or at least mindful of the wet roads. But no, both people involved in this crash were locals who woke up on the wrong side of bed, he guessed. No fatalities thank goodness, but one of them got hit in the head pretty badly and Charlie needed to go with him to the hospital.

After relaying information to the receptionist behind the desk and filling out the necessary paperwork, he stood off to the side and waited for the doctors to finish their job with the patient. Who knew how long this could take? He had already alerted his deputies that he would be here awhile.

"Thank you, Jeannine. I'll just wait for him to finish the surgery."

Charlie looked up. Esme Cullen was walking from the receptionist's desk to the waiting area to the side. He gulped. She really does resemble Reneé. Same mouth, very similar hair, and something else too...maybe it was the way she spoke, or the way she looked at you. He wondered if Bella saw it too.

Before he knew what he was doing, he found himself walking in her direction and sitting down in the chair next to her.

* * *

Below, she could see a few early risers making their vigils. Not everyone who lost somebody that night came on the anniversary, but there were some that did and Bella recognized them all. The couple closest to her were visiting the graves of their children. Michael, Susan, and Clara were at home with the babysitter while their parents had gone out to dinner. The obituary said Susan and Clara were amateur rock stars...then again they were only 11 years old. Michael enjoyed basketball and his favorite subject in school was computer animation.

Bella watched their parents hold hands and try to comfort each other. But she knew, looking at their faces, that they wished they had perished that night too along with their children. Bella understood that. She could certainly relate.

A few rows down, another grave she recognized had a visitor. The plot contained the remains of the Goldbergs. John, Michelle, and their twins, David and Luke. The boys were seniors in high school. David wanted to be a lawyer. Luke wanted to be a sports newscaster. She wondered who the visitor might be. An uncle, perhaps? A family friend? It didn't really matter, but Bella pondered on it anyway...anything to avoid reliving the worst night of her life.

* * *

"Mrs. Cullen" he said. "How are you?"

"Chief!" Esme exclaimed. "It's wonderful to see you as always. And I'm doing well, thank you. I'm waiting for Carlisle to get out of surgery."

"I think I am too," he said. "Brought in a young man who needs a lookover from the doc. Car accident."

"I hope it's not too serious?" She asked, concerned.

"No, no. I don't think so," he said. It would have been an awkward silence if he didn't catch a glimpse of the open notebook in her hands.

"That's very good, if you don't mind me saying," Charlie said, indicating the sketch Esme was working on.

"Not at all, Charlie. And thank you! But...I didn't draw this. Bella did," she said.

He silently berated himself. What did he think would happen if he talked to her? Of course Bella's name would come up. He had to wonder if he subconsciously knew this and chose to approach her for that reason.

"...May I?" He asked, looking at the notebook.

She silently handed it to him. It looked like a remodeling project. An old house was getting a new exterior, and he marveled at the detailing Bella had put in. The transformation from old to new was...exquisite.

"I understand she takes after her mother in this respect," Esme said quietly.

Charlie nodded and carefully handed the drawing back to her.

"Yes," Charlie said slowly. "Renée was always artistic."

Esme put the notebook in her bag and the two of them sat quietly for a few minutes. Charlie couldn't guess at what she was thinking, but he felt like he was an open book to her.

"You know," she started. "I don't think I've ever told you how sorry I am for your loss."

"Th-thank you," said Charlie. He made to say something else but changed his mind.

"Charlie, I don't want to pry," she continued. "But you must know by now that Carlisle and I love Bella like a daughter..."

"Yes...I know that."

"Do you know she blames herself?" She asked. "Eight years is a long time for that kind of guilt."

He swallowed. But it's a justified guilt, he thought. Esme doesn't understand...Bella is guilty. The blame lies with her because she _did_ commit that horrible crime.

"I can't begin to comprehend what happened of course," she carried on. "So please forgive my lack of understanding...but Charlie...she was a child. She's _still_ a child in some ways. No child should have to carry the weight that she carries."

Charlie gripped the arms of his seat harder. And what about him? What about the weight of the secret _he_ kept? What was he supposed to do? All those people...all those families...killed, murdered so senselessly. If it was only Renée...he thought, no, he _believed_ his wife would want him to forgive her. But Renée wasn't the only one who died. What right did he have to forgive such a crime on behalf of people who would never know why their loved ones died? Bella may be a child...and he shuddered to think of the emotional and mental toll all this has taken on her...but that didn't change the past. That didn't bring those people back from the dead.

Esme interrupted his thoughts. "I'm glad I ran into you actually," she said as she pulled something from her bag. "Bella left this at our house. I was going to wait to see her to give it back but since you're here now..."

She handed him another drawing, on nicer paper this time and looking more complete. His heart nearly stopped. It was Renée...Renée looking like something out of a storybook. He'd always thought she was beautiful but this...this was something else. His knuckles turned white as his grip tightened even more and he struggled to hold back a choked sob. Esme, thankfully, turned away to fiddle with something in her bag and Charlie took those seconds to compose himself before he spoke again.

"Thank you," he whispered.

* * *

There was too much confusion...and no way out of there. The news reports said the fire lasted through the night, but Bella didn't recall the passage of time. She only remembered the devastating few minutes before the explosion...and the endless horror after. And of course, she remembered the satisfaction...the first time the monster got its fill...my god, how she remembered that. Eight years after the fact, and the mere memory of that had her clenching her fists. Eight years after the fact, and Bella still licked her lips at the idea of unleashing that much power...of feeling that good again. It was her most powerful, most vivid memory.

She had drifted off. Behind her closed eyes she sensed the sun was higher in the sky. The noise from the roads had tripled as well. She felt a little irked with herself for falling asleep but wasn't really surprised. That run from Forks would've knocked her out a year ago. She was getting stronger. Opening her eyes, she stifled a yelp and nearly fell off the roof. Alice was standing right above her.

"Shit! Alice, what the hell?!"

"Did you really think we'd leave you to your own devices today?" Alice scoffed. "You know us better than that."

Bella took a second to allow her heart rate to come down. "I left you a message," she grumbled. "I explained where I'd be."

"Yes and that was very helpful," Alice replied, "seeing as I can't see you at all right now and wouldn't know how to find you otherwise."

"What do you want, Alice?" Bella sighed.

"To be there for my friend," she said quietly. "You shouldn't be alone today."

Bella laughed incredulously. "Wouldn't be the first time..."

To her dismay, Alice only cocked her head and squeezed herself into the impossibly small space next to her. Bella resigned herself to the unwanted company.

"Your mom is buried here?" Alice asked.

She really wasn't going to leave. Bella closed her eyes and sighed. "Her grave is here, but there's no body. She was too close..."

Alice remained silent, and so Bella was surprised at herself when she felt compelled to add, "a lot of the others are here too."

Neither spoke for several long minutes. Bella continued to watch the mourners trickling between the stones while Alice gazed into the distance, trying to no avail to see Bella's future...anything that might help her decipher her friend's wayward emotions.

"Why do you come here, Bella?" Alice asked.

Bella raised an eyebrow. "To pay my respects..."

Alice turned to face her and gave her a quizzical look. "That's not the only reason, is it?"

She sighed and looked at the woman with the flowers below. "I come to say I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Bella...you can't torture yourself forever like this."

"Why shouldn't I? I have to pay for what I did somehow..."

"It wasn't your fault," Alice whispered.

"Don't say that!" Bella snarled. "Don't tell me it wasn't my fault. It was. _I_ killed those people. _I_ killed my mother. No one else can take that blame but me!"

"You didn't choose to kill anyone! You didn't set out to! You had no control! From what I've seen over the summer and the way you describe it, you weren't even conscious of what was happening! I'll bet my head you don't remember the actual fire!" Alice yelled.

Bella wanted to punch something. Alice was right about not remembering...but that didn't lessen her guilt.

"That woman," Bella pointed to the woman who had been standing in front of the grave for the last 10 minutes. "Her sister's dead because of me. Her sister and her girlfriend, and their baby girl. She was three years old. That man over there...his son was home from the Peace Corps. Know what he was doing? He was helping a village in Tonga build an irrigation system for their family farms. Those graves over there? Rachel and Jonathan Kinner. She was a physicist at the university. He taught 1st graders in the same school as my mom. Carly Nestrom. Kate Walsh. Damien Stanley. Mika Peters. David Park. Jessica Donaldson. Do you want know how many toddlers died? How many kindergarteners? How many orphans there are because of me?!"

She was breathing hard, her face and her body contorted in pain. Sometime during her tirade, Alice had put her arms around her. Bella was too tired to fight her off, so she took the shoulder that was offered and laid down her head, letting a few tears fall but not the sobs she wanted desperately to release.

"Oh, Bells," she heard Alice whisper. "How can your dad forgive you if you won't forgive yourself?"

Charlie was right to hate her. He saw the truth of her existence the way the Cullens never had and never would. Three years of not killing anybody does not clean her hands of all the blood.

"Do you think I'm a monster?" Alice asked. "Do you think Rosalie is?"

Bella shook her head.

"We're no different from you, Bella," she continued. Bella started to protest but Alice cut her off. "It's not the number of deaths...the way we are...none of us asked for it. Our very DNA tells us we must kill. Something has to die for us to survive. The bloodlust...I can't begin to describe to you what that's like. But...I think you more than anyone can guess, can understand. We've all fought so hard to overcome it. There were casualties. Did we want to cause those deaths? Of course not. Do we feel remorse and wish a thousand times that those people could've been spared? Of course we do. For that, we're not monsters. You, Bella...you've fought this thing tooth and nail for half your life! You did everything in your power to avoid bloodshed. You were a nine-year-old child and yet you consciously chose to sever contact with humanity so you wouldn't harm others! Bella, that's not the behavior of a monster. You deserve forgiveness. You've earned it. If you can't see that, then Rosalie and Esme and I, and the rest of our family is truly damned despite all our efforts. I refuse to believe that!"

Bella wanted so badly to believe her. Part of her...the part of her that loved to fly and kiss Rosalie and play the piano...did believe. But another part...the part that enjoyed watching things burn, the part that she kept hidden from everyone...that part made her think twice. There was something there...something sinister that lurked in the darkness of her psyche. That thing...how can there be salvation for it?

Not another word was spoken on that rooftop. Bella stayed in Alice's arms though-it was a comfort she had never allowed herself before, and it helped get her through the day. When the sun started to set, Alice guided her to the rented car and to the airport. Bella was grateful for Alice's planning. There was no way she could attempt to run back again so soon.

After Bella assured her friend she'd be in school tomorrow, she walked inside her shed, ready to collapse in her bed. Something on the table caught her eye though.

It was a birthday card from Charlie. She opened it with trembling hands. There was no note, nor even a cheesy printed message...but there was something taped inside.

Charlie had given her a key to the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Battlestar Galactica fans (or other musical people) might spot a tiny musical hint in the writing. I'll say no more.
> 
> Holy crap that was draining. I'm pooped. Please reward me with a review. Pretty please? Some people write only for the pleasure of writing...I salute those people. I like the act of it too, but I do it mostly because if I don't get this story out of my head my brain will explode...and also because it means a lot to me when I learn that my writing is affecting others. I can't tell you how wonderful it feels when one of you (and some of you have) tells me that you've gotten past your initial revulsion to the triad relationships. Changing someone's mind about a taboo topic like that...that's an incredibly powerful and wonderful feeling for a writer. So please, talk to me. Doesn't have to be heartfelt...but I am pouring my heart and soul into this. The least you can do is check in :)
> 
> Love ya!


	45. November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Fluff in the beginning and M rated fluff in the end. I figured you could use it after the past chapter. Enjoy :D

"You're dead, Belly Bear."

"Ever hear of a teachable moment?" Bella didn't bother hiding the irritation in her voice. "We had all that time in the trenches! You could've showed me how the damn grenades work!"

"Language!" Esme shouted from the other room.

"Sorry!" Bella replied after throwing a pillow at Emmett, who was snickering on the couch next to her. Bella rolled her eyes and got back into the game. The mood in the house was lighthearted but Bella was aware of the side glances Emmett would occasionally throw her way...as if he was waiting to do or say the wrong thing that would send her spiraling back into the depression she had experienced on and right after her birthday. She did her best to ignore it and continued to stab her enemies on the screen. To their credit, all of the Cullens had respected her mental and emotional state and had refrained from making a big deal (really, any kind of deal) about the day. Alice, she suspected, was crushed...but if any of them had tried to give her anything or so much as bake a cake Bella might have honestly set their house on fire. A wake-up kiss from Rosalie and a few longer than usual hugs from the rest of them the next morning were the only presents that she got, and she was grateful for that.

Now, nearly a month later, she was finally getting back to normal. The guilt got locked away...enough so that Bella was able to laugh again and mean it. Her friends had taken the setback in stride and patiently gave her the time she needed to recoup. Well, almost all of them had been patient. Emmett was pretty beside himself when she grabbed a controller and joined him for an afternoon of video games...he missed their carefree times together. Bella did too, so she determinedly put aside the zombie she was close to becoming and sought him out today because if there was anyone who could make her smile, it was Emmett.

Halfway through their raid on the enemy's base, Bella's performance noticeably declined. Emmett looked up to see what was wrong but then chuckled when he saw that Bella kept glancing out the window to where Rosalie was.

"Dude, you're so whipped," he grinned.

"Oh please," she grumbled. "And you aren't? Besides, you had like a million years to get used to her."

He shook his head and paused the game. "Go ahead," he said softly. "You're gonna get me killed if you try to play while you're drooling like that."

Resisting a witty comeback, she smiled and got up. Before she reached the door to the backyard though, she stopped and turned around.

"Come with?" She asked quietly. Surprised but not unhappily so, Emmett nodded and walked outside with her. Rosalie was laid out on a huge hammock in the Cullens' backyard. In the bright sunlight her shimmering, golden figure looked like an ethereal vision. Both Bella and Emmett sighed with happiness at the sight, prompting the girl in question to look up from her book and smile.

"Hello," she said, surprised to see them both and relieved to see the shadow had lifted from Bella's face.

"Hey," Bella smiled. "Will this thing hold me and the Hulk too?"

Rosalie laughed and made room on the hammock. It was a tight fit but they managed it. Bella lay back on one side of Rosalie while Emmett lay on the other. She sighed contentedly as Rosalie's arms fit around her like a glove. This was likely the last warm, sunny day they'd have before winter hit in earnest and Bella would miss seeing Rosalie in such a relaxed state. She loved the warmth of the sun so much. Watching her, it made Bella wonder what it would be like to have skin as cold as hers. Bella could hear better than any human, but she had to consciously turn it on or off. To hear as the vampires do...to see and touch as they do...

Bella felt a rush of excitement at the idea of so much power before she mentally slapped herself for thinking it. It wasn't her who wanted more...it was the monster...

"What's up?" Rosalie asked. She must have felt her body tense.

"Nothing," Bella replied. "I was just wondering if vampires were ticklish."

"Oh they are," Emmett said slyly. "But only if another vampire does the tickling!"

And with that Emmett proceeded to attack Rosalie, who yelped and tried to hide behind Bella. Unfortunately for her Bella was firmly on Emmett's side of this impromptu war. Letting an evil grin take over her face, Bella did everything she could to keep Rosalie's most ticklish spots undefended for Emmett's relentless assault. Rosalie finally had enough and flipped her over so Bella was in the middle.

"Good grief, I'm love with two 5-year olds," she grumbled.

Bella nuzzled into her. Three months ago she would never have been able to be so close to her in front of Emmett. Now, nothing felt more natural.

"You know it wasn't that long ago that I was a 5-year old," Bella mused out loud.

Rosalie turned to look at her. "Does it bother you?" She asked quietly. "The age difference?"

"No..." Bella started. "I mean, it's nothing compared to Esme and Carlisle. It is kind of weird though to think that you two are basically 100 years old. Does it bother you?"

Rosalie smiled softly. "It's not like we age, Bells," she said, sadly. "My body is 18."

Emmett responded before Bella opened her mouth. "But we've still lived, Rose. Even if you can't tell by looking at us..."

Bella observed how hard Rosalie worked to stamp out the sadness on her face. At least she's trying, she thought.

"I would never have met you," Bella whispered. "Either of you..."

Rosalie smiled softly and squirmed a little-Bella got the hint and snuggled even deeper inside her arms. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted Rosalie and Emmett's hands entwined together.

The sun, the warmth, and the sheer comfort of her position soon sent Bella dozing off. Rosalie smiled at the tell-tale signs...and admired the peace adorning Bella's face.

"She loves you so much," Emmett whispered long after Bella closed her eyes.

Rosalie looked up and searched his face. "How are you doing so far?" She asked.

He smiled. "I'm perfectly fine, Rose. It's weird sometimes...no not in a bad way!" He added when her face betrayed her worry. "It's weird to watch someone else love you, care about you the same way I do...when I watch her looking at you, talking to you, or even knowing that she's thinking about you...I dunno, it's like looking in a mirror sometimes."

Rosalie raised her eyebrows. "Ok, a fun house mirror," he said, grinning. "But anyway...you know what I mean?"

"I think so," she replied slowly. "It might be why you two are always so...well, on the same wavelength I guess. Sometimes I think you two get each other more than I get either one of you," she teased, rolling her eyes.

Emmett chuckled. "Bella Bear and Emmett, the dynamic duo," he grinned. "Batman and Robin!"

She snorted. "As long as you're not under the impression you'll be Batman."

"Hey!" He pouted. "Look at these muscles, babe! I'm definitely Batman."

She moved her hand past his neck and pinched his ear ("Ow!"). She was about to embarrass him by pointing out that _she_ wore the pants in their relationship, and therefore he really wasn't Batman material...but then Bella stirred and distracted them both, luckily for Emmett.

She smiled at the little stretches and yawns that escaped her lips. Sleeping was one of the things Rosalie missed the most. How liberating it must feel to simply stop...being...for a few hours...to wake up refreshed and recharged. It got so terribly tiring to be awake all the damn time.

Bella was so far gone she probably didn't realize exactly where she was. Surprising the two vampires on either side of her, she lightly pulled Rosalie even closer while at the same time, snuggled a little into Emmett.

Rosalie chuckled at the look on Emmett's face. "Relax," she whispered. "She probably thinks you're a giant pillow."

"Uh huh," Emmett said, still a little flustered at this close proximity...he didn't have Rosalie's practice with a human. Then he grinned. "She's quite the cuddly teddy bear, isn't she?"

Oh poor Bella, Rosalie thought. Emmett's never gonna let her live this one down.

* * *

"For the third time, Ms. Swan! Will you please answer when I call your name?"

Huh? Oh man...

Bella really needed to work on her attention span. Every other day it seemed she was getting called out for daydreaming. It was true that she found herself spacing out much more these days but Bella attributed it to trying to ignore Jessica and Lauren and their ever-present and ever-growing group of allies. Her actual work was still flawless as ever, but teachers were beginning to notice her constant mental absence. Honestly she was also bored to death-how did the Cullens do it year after year?

"Sorry, Mrs. Hashim," Bella said.

Next to her, Jessica rolled her eyes and whispered, "Planning your wedding? You really think the Cullens won't see through your schemes?"

Bella couldn't believe that 'Bella and Edward, kissing in a tree' was still something high-schoolers did. But here they were six weeks since the first day back and nothing Bella did could stamp out the rumors that she was shopping for entry into the Cullens' family via Edward. Edward was a nice enough guy (albeit creepy, moody, and oh yeah, still fighting the urge to kill her) but the idea of a romance with that particular vampire made her want to gag. It was lucky he couldn't read her mind, but she shuddered to think of what he's been hearing from the rest of the school.

It's no wonder he's been avoiding you, she thought. Then again it seemed like he was avoiding everybody. Still unsure whether it was a good or troubling development, she nonetheless pondered at Edward's odd behavior since returning from Denali. There were days when she saw him only in passing in the school hallways. They were biology partners, sure, but both of them knew the material so well they could get through a whole lab without speaking a word to the other. Then, on other days, Edward wouldn't move ten feet away from her. This was especially grating to Rosalie who, for some reason, would grit her teeth and visibly strain not to pounce on him whenever he was in both of their presence. Bella often asked her what her deal was, but Rosalie would flare her nostrils and say it was 'old brother/sister stuff' and change the subject. Emmett, who was as puzzled as Bella, figured it was just the old wounds from when Bella left, and told her as much. But Bella wasn't convinced.

"For crying out loud, Bella!"

God damn it.

"Sorry, Mrs. Hashim," Bella replied, abashed. "The answer is foreshadowing, which refers to the use of indicative words, phrases and hints that set the stage for a story to unfold and give the reader a hint of something that is going to happen without revealing the story or spoiling the suspense. Foreshadowing is used to suggest an upcoming outcome to the story."

The teacher nodded reluctantly and moved on while Bella tried not to sigh in exasperation. Twenty more months of this, she groaned silently to herself. And then what? The small voice in her head asked, what will she do...where will she go after? It's clear she can't stay here with Charlie. Bella wasn't blind-he was obviously making an effort with her. She was still astonished, though immensely grateful...but she didn't think he would ever be able to look at her without seeing the girl who killed his wife. Perhaps soon they could pull off a civilized relationship. But would he ever love her again? Would he ever forgive her? Bella wanted to hope, but every time she felt a twinge of happiness when Charlie said or did something that was actually...nice, she would remind herself that odds were, there was a bullet with her name on it in his gun. She didn't want to believe she could have a relationship with her father only for everything to come crashing down on her. And yet...

The Cullens...nobody had uttered the word. Nobody had dared. But it was clear as day what they all wanted. It was inevitable...one of them was bound to bring it up...and Bella dreaded that conversation more than anything else. She couldn't imagine how she'd react when that day came. But she knew...she knew in her heart what her answer would be.

"That's it, Bella!" Mrs. Hashim's face was red with anger. "I'll see you after school in detention!"

Fucking hell. That's the second time this week.

Jessica looked like Christmas had come early, and when the bell signaled the end of class she and Lauren snickered and made a point of shoving past her on their way out.

Two can play that game, Bella thought, narrowing her eyes.

"Oomph!"

Bella's face betrayed nothing as she walked past Jessica and Lauren's sprawled out figures on the floor. It appeared they had both tripped on something pretty solid in the hallway that was now, mysteriously, gone without a trace.

* * *

Bella put aside her book when she saw that Rosalie was at her window. Since Charlie had begun to visit her more, and since her door was easily within sight of the house, Rosalie had started using the other entry to her shed for her nighttime visits. The blonde was not particularly pleased with this.

"I feel like bloody Romeo," Rosalie grumbled as she landed smoothly inside.

"Not a fan, huh?" Bella laughed and welcomed her with a kiss.

"Melodramatic idiot," Rosalie confirmed. "And don't get me started on Juliet."

"Right then," Bella smiled. "So I shouldn't ask for help on that essay."

Rosalie snorted. "Like you don't already have the play memorized." She put her bag down by the bed and climbed into it. The school's copy of Romeo and Juliet got tossed aside with a roll of her eyes.

Bella laughed. "Is your issue with angsty, suicidal love or do you take offense to the Bard himself?"

"Just Romeo...the moron," she mumbled. "But I like the rest. And the sonnets rule."

"Oh?" Bella asked with a glint in her eyes. "So I could've saved us all that time and wooed you with 'shall I compare thee to a summer's day'?

"Do you know how many idiots have tried that on me over the years?" Rosalie asked, rolling her eyes again. She made herself more comfortable on the bed, mostly by holding the younger girl close in her arms. Bella sighed in happiness. She had been looking forward to this all day.

"Oh I dunno... 'thy eternal summer shall not fade, nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st' is certainly oddly appropriate," Bella muttered through her light kisses to Rosalie's neck.

"They never made it to that line," Rosalie said. She was starting to lose focus on everything save for Bella's lips on her skin.

Bella chuckled. "So I'm the first? Something tells me poetry's not Emmett's style..."

She never got a chance to answer. Bella, who could no longer contain herself, had moved to straddle her legs and had started furiously attacking her mouth with her own.

Bella loosened her lips from hers to breathe and whispered, "'all days are nights to see till I see thee, and nights bright days when dreams do show thee me...'"

Rosalie's heart, despite its long dormancy, twitched in her chest...or so she imagined anyway.

Bella's shirt was soon discarded and, while she worked on Rosalie's shirt with trembling hands, Rosalie took the moment to study the girl in front of her. She gulped. She wanted her...so badly.

"'Blessed are you whose worthiness gives scope, being had, to triumph; being lacked, to hope,'" Rosalie smiled.

"Unsurprisingly," Bella chuckled and ducked Rosalie's playful slap. "Hey!...and here I was gonna tell you 'though art all the better part of me'"

Rosalie would've responded if Bella hadn't chosen that moment to cover her breasts with her mouth. She moaned in pleasure...it would be awhile before she remembered her own name. Bella in the meantime moaned in hunger. She wanted more, so much more of Rosalie.

The rest of their clothes quickly found a home on the floor. From the start, Bella, who was a relative newcomer to social convention and propriety, had not displayed nor indeed felt much discomfort with casual nudity. When they weren't busy with what that nudity often led to, Bella rarely felt compelled to put her clothes back on. Bella found that the longer she stayed disrobed, the longer Rosalie did too...so really, was there a better incentive than that?

Suddenly, Bella found herself roughly manhandled so she was lying on her stomach beneath Rosalie. Her eyelids fluttered and she moaned into the pillow. Rosalie was inching down her back, tortuously slow, using her lips, tongue and the lightest touch of her teeth. Bella involuntarily ground her hips into the bed beneath her as Rosalie descended further and further.

"Ohh," Bella groaned. "Fffuck..."

Bella wrapped her hands around the bars of the backboard and tried, and utterly failed to keep her breathing even. Rosalie should win an award for the things she could do with her mouth. And her tongue...my god, her tongue.

Gradually and without really knowing it, Bella had moved herself further and further out so that she was on her knees and her butt was sticking out for the easiest access. Rosalie was taking full advantage of this.

"That's one hell of a view, Bells," she murmured. Even Bella had to blush at that, but before she could shyly lower herself, Rosalie plunged two fingers inside her.

Bella scrunched her eyes and whimpered as Rosalie picked up speed. Her hips matched Rosalie's hand, and Bella was so turned on and wet that in no time Rosalie was adding a third and fourth finger.

She was so close, so goddamn close when Rosalie pulled out without warning.

"Hang on," Rosalie whispered, cutting off her indignant protest.

Must be her scent, Bella thought. Fuck, fuck what a shitty time. Bella was literally trembling on the bed and itching for release.

A minute later, Rosalie starting moving on top of her again, and Bella sighed happily when she felt her hands between her legs once more. But something else...not Rosalie's hands...was rubbing against her opening.

Bella swiftly turned her head to look at Rosalie, who was staring back at her with dark, burning eyes. Rosalie silently took Bella's hand so she could feel the foreign object for herself before giving consent. Like she would say no...the ravenous look on Rosalie's face was enough for Bella to sign her life away if the blonde had asked.

Bella slowly nodded and looked back one more time as Rosalie got into position. Bella's eyes widened as she saw that...that thing was inside of Rosalie too. Oh my god.

Rosalie took her time, and Bella held her breath as the...thing...was slowly inched inside of her. When it was finally all the way in, Rosalie nearly lost control from the sight of it all. Fighting to keep herself from biting her girlfriend, she gradually thrust her hips back and forth.

Thirty minutes later, Bella thought she was going to die. Rosalie's pace had intensified to an unthinkable level. Bella had already orgasmed too many times for her to keep track, and still Rosalie continued on. She felt another buildup start deep within her and groaned, urging Rosalie on. She was going to have trouble walking tomorrow...but it was so, so worth it.

Bella chanced a look back for the first time since they began...and nearly came from the site that greeted her. A completely naked Rosalie...blond hair flowing down her back...her eyes nearly pitch black...her body moving like she was possessed. Rosalie's mouth opened slightly, and Bella knew she was about to come too. Her eyes lowered to meet Bella's and they stayed fixated on each other until they both crashed over the edge.

Somewhere, Bella found the sense of mind to open the window and banish what she could of her scent for Rosalie's sake before collapsing face down onto the bed. Rosalie too, fell heavily on top of her. Neither moved for a long time as Bella slowly regained her power of speech. In the meantime though she found another use for her mouth and used it to cover Rosalie's face with kisses.

Unbelievably, within minutes Bella found herself moaning again. Was she catching something from Rosalie? She entwined her arms around Rosalie's neck and pulled her down for a long, deep kiss that spoke volumes of Bella's wants and desires.

When the kiss broke, she looked up and paused everything so she could take in the beauty above her. Bella swallowed and whispered, "'for nothing this wide universe I call, save thou, my Rose; in it thou art my all.'"

Rosalie closed her eyes and sighed, then gasped loudly as Bella, without any warning, yanked the toy from inside her.

Bella grinned beneath her. "My turn."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Too cheesy? I hope not. Just so you know, I read and reread all freaking 154 sonnets for this. Sonnets referenced are 18, 39, 43, 52, and 109.
> 
> OH, and if you're just DYING to know, the toy Rosalie used is a feeldoe. DO NOT do a google image search around other people, lol. You have been warned!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the fluff. More angst to come unfortunately.


	46. Power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: The last scene is rather...disturbing. Don't want to spoil things for you, but seriously...you've been warned.

Bella lay panting, one hand linked firmly with Rosalie's, the other playing with her necklace. They had finally taken a break from that bout of adventurous love-making.

"What the hell is that thing anyway?"

Rosalie chuckled. "I thought you knew everything?" She asked, teasingly. Bella gave her a look and she continued. "It was gonna be a gag birthday gift."

Oh.

"...from Emmett."

"WHAT?"

Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god. Bella burned bright red as she curled up into the smallest ball possible. Is it possible to die of embarrassment?

Next to her, Rosalie bit her lip and debated with herself whether to share anymore.

"Does he know you brought it tonight?" Bella mumbled.

"Um," she started. "...no I didn't tell him!" Rosalie added quickly after seeing her face. "But, well...Alice...kinda sorta...saw it."

"Oh. My. God." Bella moaned and hid her face in her pillow.

Rosalie struggled not to laugh out loud at Bella's mortification. Long, long ago she might have felt the same way, but after so many years sharing a house with other vampires...there really was no reason to feel embarrassed. She was very much aware of what went on in their bedrooms too. And with an empath, a psychic, and a mind reader...what was the point?

"Bells." Another idea occurred to Rosalie. "Does it bother you to think of Emmett and me?"

"No," Bella looked up from the pillow. "I know you love each other...but...I guess I don't think too much about you two being physical," she admitted.

Rosalie gently forced her back into her arms. "Think about it now," she whispered. She hesitated, unsure how to phrase what she desperately wanted to say. "There...there might come a time when we're sharing a house...when you...or he might hear..."

Bella's heart pounded in her chest. Don't. Don't. Don't, she silently screamed. Not now. Don't do this now!

She looked up and prayed her mask was good enough for Rosalie. "I can't promise something won't explode the first time it happens," she said. "But we've gotten past so much already...there's no reason to think we won't overcome that."

Rosalie smiled, and Bella, feeling the mask slip a little, smiled back and quickly hid her face again. It wasn't the thought of Emmett with Rosalie that made her feel this despair. Bella knew perfectly well what Rosalie was about to insinuate...and she feared she may have inadvertently given her lover the wrong idea by not asking her for clarity. Sharing a house...able to listen...that was a vampire problem, not a human one.

"I love you," whispered Rosalie.

Bella forced her tears to refrain from falling. "I love you too," she replied with all her heart.

* * *

"Ok, Bella. I'd like to change things up today."

Carlisle and Bella walked a few miles north of the house to what had become their usual training spot. Since Bella's trip with Rosalie definitively proved her control over the destructive gift, Carlisle had decreed they could safely continue to practice closer to town and thus, closer to home.

Bella looked at him warily. He looked excited, like a man in the midst of his favorite hobby. Bella could only sigh...Carlisle was still utterly fascinated by Bella's gifts. She suspected that these excursions together were as much about satisfying his limitless curiosity as they were about helping her hone her control.

She glanced at the huge box he effortlessly carried. What was he planning for her?

"What you've accomplished thus far is exemplary, Bella." He set down the box and unlocked the latch. "You've managed to tame the most volatile aspect of your gift. Strong emotions such as stress and excitement, though still capable of making you feel the need to unleash the fire, don't take over anymore. And I understand that even when you call it up on purpose, you still maintain control."

Bella nodded, and knowing Carlisle was eager for a demonstration, rolled her eyes and silently complied. She held out her hand and willed a small fireball to appear there, and of course it did. To the observer it looked to be hovering a few inches above her hand but Bella knew that even if it engulfed her fist nothing would happen to her.

"Very good," Carlisle smiled proudly. "And if you wanted to change its shape, its size, its intensity..."

She followed his cues and did as he suggested. The fireball leveled out into a straight line, then grew to circumscribe them, surrounding them and expanded so it was over five feet tall, then changed color as it burned hotter and hotter.

"Excellent," Carlisle beamed. A second later the fire went out leaving no trace.

"What I'd like for us to work on next is finer control," Carlisle said. "The kind of control you already have over wind...though I suspect even that could use some improvement. With some thinking and practice I think we can find other ways you can use your fire power...and in a manner that isn't so conspicuous..."

Bella grew a little uncomfortable. She knew what Carlisle was talking about. She had already found one such inconspicuous use of her destructive gift...but she didn't think she should share it with him. The small zaps she sent her tormentors in school...when the bullying got too much, especially on sunny days when the Cullens couldn't be there...No, she suspected Carlisle would not approve of the creative ways she fought back.

The box at Carlisle's feet drew her attention once again. Carlisle bend down and retrieved...another box from inside it. He opened that one too and...took out yet another box. Like Russian nesting dolls, each box gave birth to another until Bella was left standing wondering what the hell Carlisle was going to make her do.

After taking out the smallest box, he surprised her and put it right back where it come from. Carlisle took a step back and turned to her. "Bella, I want you to burn this box."

That's it?

"Hang on," he added. "I want you to burn it...without harming the one inside of it."

How the hell was she supposed to do that? Bella's fire, though perfectly in her control now, still had a mind of its own. There's no way she could do as Carlisle asked.

"Try it Bella," he said. "Concentrate on the smallest fire first. Keep it burning low and just on the edge."

Bella looked at the box and did as he suggested. It was easy to concentrate the fire on just one small spot. But when she enveloped the whole box in her flames it was soon clear that the smoldering mess included the inner box as well.

She sighed in frustration. "Try again," Carlisle called out, this time pointing to another set of boxes, one inside the other.

And again, Bella failed.

"Again, Bella."

She rolled her eyes and yet again faced the stupid boxes in front of her. Suddenly an idea came to her. What if she used the air as a barrier between the two? She recalled how lately she'd been able to mold the air as if it were a solid object...mostly in order to trip Jessica and Lauren or send a shove their way. Again, she felt a stab of guilt as she thought of the ways she'd been using her powers lately.

Nothing to do but try it, she thought. Before calling on the spark, this time she first visualized a thick blanket of air in between the two boxes. Then she imagined that blanket into a more solid form. Protect the small box, she ordered it, then lit the fuse.

"Excellent!" Carlisle cried out. There indeed was the small box. Not a scratch on its surface while the bigger box had been reduced to ashes.

"What changed? How did you do it?" Carlisle asked eagerly.

Bella explained, though she left out the bits about Jessica and Lauren. "Marvelous!" He said, before moving on to another set of boxes.

"This time, I want you to burn the smaller box, and the smaller one only."

Is he crazy? If there was one thing Bella knew for sure, is that she had to see the target in order to light it.

"Carlisle, I don't think that's going to work..."

"Why not?" He asked. "When you used to lose control, you never remembered the actual fires, right?" She nodded. "So technically, you, Bella, were never really conscious through it all. You didn't actually see the fires as they happened. It was the monster, as you so often put it. But now you control that 'monster.' What's to say you can't still keep your eyes closed and control it at the same time?"

Bella stared at him and at the box. Fine, she thought angrily. He'll see it won't work.

Five sets of boxes later, Carlisle frowned at her and said, "you're not really trying, Bella..."

"Because it's impossible!"

"Nothing is impossible," he said. "You of all people should know that. Now please set those thoughts aside and _try harder_."

She bit back a snide remark and glared angrily at the new box in front of her. The solid air barrier was easy and came up quick. But she couldn't for the life of her ignite the hidden box without first consuming the one surrounding it. Concentrate, she told herself. Picture it in your head. It's a red box. The big one is yellow. Burn the red one. Leave the yellow. So what if you can't see it? She thought, sarcastically. You know it's there. It's ten feet away from you, taking up space...displacing air...solid and strong. It wants to be burned...just like everything else...it wants to melt away. You'll feel so good when it explodes inside...when it turns to ashes. _Dammit, burn!_

Carlisle held out his hand and Bella tore herself away from her runaway thoughts.

"See?" She said. "It's not gonna happen."

But Carlisle wasn't listening to her. He bent down and opened the latch on the big yellow box. Bella's stomach dropped when she saw the inside.

The red box was gone. Ashes lay in its place.

Carlisle beamed. Bella's face remained blank. No, she thought. No, no, no!

"I have one more task for you," Carlisle began. He took something out of his backpack. It looked like a large hunk of metal. "This is a metal called tungsten. It's one of the strongest metals on earth. I don't want you to burn it." He set the metal inside yet another box. "I want you to use your wind power this time to fold the metal in on itself. Reshape it. Flatten it. Do whatever you like as long it looks completely different when you're done with it."

He closed the box and stepped back again.

Bella stared at the box. Gone was the doubt from her mind. Could she do as he wanted? Yes, she believed she could. There was nothing she couldn't do...not anymore.

It only took a second before she nodded to Carlisle. Silently he opened the box. Bella didn't have to peer inside to know that the 20-pound piece of metal was as flat as a piece of paper. It was easy. It was ludicrously easy.

"Are we done?" Bella asked. "I'd like to go for a walk."

"Yes, of course," Carlisle said, still examining the metal. "You did a great job today, Bella."

He smiled warmly at her. She smiled back.

* * *

Bella walked on and on. She did not have a destination in mind, nor did she care to keep track of her surroundings. She simply moved her legs back and forth, back and forth until she arbitrarily decided to stop. Her mind was so empty right now. As her eyes traveled over the trees and brush surrounding her, she slowly allowed the thoughts to return. She could burn without seeing...she could destroy without having to witness...she could, she could...

Was there anything she couldn't do? Was the extent of her power only limited by her imagination? By Carlisle's? A large, thick branch dangled precariously from the tree in front of her. Without a thought she brought it down near her face. She stared at it, and a moment later it creaked and groaned as she bent it into all sorts of unnatural angles, not letting it break like it wanted to. The game got boring soon and she incinerated the branch.

A scurrying noise startled her but she calmed when she saw it was just a squirrel. It was running fast up the tree Bella had just defaced...a large gouged hole twenty feet up told her it probably stored food up there. The animal almost made it inside when it suddenly froze. Bella didn't blink, but instead walked forward as the squirrel floated down smoothly until it was level with her face. Its little heart was beating madly in its chest. Its eyes looked every which way but nothing else was going to be able to move until Bella released its body.

Why didn't she have a limit? The squirrel slammed against the tree. Once, twice, three times. Its heart, already deafening, picked up speed as she levitated it close to her face once again. She thought she may have broken one of its ribs. No limit but your imagination...Bella looked up and down the animal's body and cocked her head. She focused on its right paw. Smoke unfurled from it and the animal let out a loud screech, and another, and another as the fur from its paw slowly burned up and melted off. When she stopped, the squirrel's right arm was one big blistering mess.

Oh shut up, she thought. The small animal was screeching and crying incessantly. Shut up! It did. Not because of any effort on its part, but because Bella's invisible hold was tightening around its neck. Its heart sped up even more but still there was nothing it could do. Bella stopped squeezing. This was too easy. Much too easy. Its heart continued to hammer in its chest, a ta-ta-ta-ta-ta fluttering hundreds of beats per minute. She thought back to the hunk of metal. She was so confident of her success even before Carlisle opened the box. It should've required more effort, more trial and error...a lot more error. But it didn't and somehow Bella had sensed it wouldn't. For the first time in her life that power that she'd always felt coursing through her ever since the incident felt...right. It was hers. It was hers to command, hers to enjoy, hers to use. She was able to flatten the metal because...she knew she could. Simple as that. Now that she wasn't limited by what she could see...was there anything she couldn't do?

Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta...the animal still floated in front of her. Its limbs tried and tried to free itself but nothing budged. Nothing would ever budge again. Bella focused on it and listened to its tiny heart...watched the flutters that were visible from its shaking chest. Ta-ta-ta-ta...

A second later, the sounds stopped. The animal floated gently down to the ground and Bella finally released it from her grip. Just like with the metal, Bella did not need additional confirmation to know what had happened. She had wanted it to happen...and so it had.

The animal died because Bella incinerated its heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: No squirrels were harmed during the making of this chapter. Seriously that was kind of tough. I feel...dirty. Is this what it's like to write for a show like Dexter? Reeeeally looking forward to hearing your analysis of this, especially after what you've read in the last few chapters. I will respond to every comment so remember, the more substantial your review, the more substantial my response :)


	47. Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
> 
> Author's note: Oh, what the hell. For the 3rd scene listen to 'Dexter Blood Theme Piano Cover' by pianistos on Youtube.

_The animal died because Bella incinerated its heart._

Bella's own heart seemed to stop for several long, agonizing seconds before it started back up faster and louder than ever.

_Thump, thump, thump._

The dead animal lay at her feet. Its limbs outstretched pitifully, its face looking up to the heavens, to Bella. Its eyes had yet to close. They looked at the trees, at the sky, at Bella, at nothing.

Bella stared back. At the speed of light, her mind was playing back what had happened. Everything was there...every moment, every second, every decision she made, every action she took. There was no hiding from it.

_Thump, thump, thump._

Her heart continued to thunder in her chest. Without thinking she glanced at the rest of the squirrel's mutilated body and before she knew it strong, bitter vomit was forcing its way out of her stomach and onto the ground. She heaved and heaved again and again as everything she had eaten that day ended up strewn about the forest floor by the squirrel.

_What have I done?_

She had barely asked herself the question when suddenly she heard a noise coming from the east. Footsteps. Panic overwhelmed her. This cannot be seen. A moment later the squirrel disappeared in a fiery flash.

Edward appeared in the forest.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

She stared blankly back at him. Did he see? Did he hear the animal's tortured cries? Bella wished she could vanquish its screams from her mind along with its body, but it was still there...still ringing in her head. It would always be there, she realized. She would never be able to rid herself of that memory.

Edward continued to slowly approach her. "I heard-and smelled-you vomiting," he explained. "I was hunting not far from here. Are you alright?" He repeated.

"Yes," Bella answered. Her voice shouldn't sound so normal. Why didn't it betray her? "Something I ate must not agree with me."

He continued to move closer. Bella, who was still kneeling on the ground eyed him warily. She knew Edward was lying. He never hunted this close to town. None of them did.

"You look terrible," he muttered and kneeled alongside her. Bella gulped and forced herself not to glance down at the ashes not a yard from Edward's feet. Did fire diminish a Vampire's sense of smell? Would he still detect the burnt flesh, the animal's potent fear in the air? She felt more bile rise up in her throat as her mind momentarily flashed to the naked fear in the squirrel's eyes. Her hands shook and she swallowed the sickness in her mouth.

"Please," Edward rose and held out his hand. "Allow me to escort you back."

"I'm fine...I'm not ready to go back just yet." Bella wanted a few more minutes out here next to the remains of her...victim. She didn't know why exactly, or what she'd do with the time, but the idea felt right.

"Please," he said again. "It's not safe out here. There's a grizzly a mile away heading in this direction. I'd rather not take any chances."

Once again, Edward was lying. Did he forget how good her hearing was? She strained it now, searching for this grizzly and found nothing. She didn't like this feeling of unease that crept over her. What was he up to?

"All right," she said and allowed him to take her hand.

* * *

Charlie tapped his foot on the linoleum of the station's floor. He'd be able to leave as soon as his deputy arrived. Normally his colleagues had to force him out the door, but not today. Today he had somewhere he wanted to be and the wait was killing him.

"Good grief, Chief! You got a date with a trout or something?" The dispatcher, Nicole, had never seen her boss acting like this. It was both amusing and unnerving.

Charlie was so distracted he didn't catch drift of her question until much later. "Huh? Oh," he smiled. "Nah I'm just gonna watch the game with Billy."

Nicole grunted, "Really? You're not fooling me, Chief. You're up to something...I can tell. But hey! Don't tell little ol' Nicole, starved for any bit of interesting news. That's cool," she pouted.

He laughed and looked away just as his Deputy strolled in.

"All yours, Pete!" He yelled on his way out. Inside, his colleagues stared at one another with the same question visible on their faces: since when does Chief Swan skip?

Oblivious and unaware that his odd behavior would be tonight's main topic of conversation at the Forks police department, Charlie drove the twenty miles to La Push, gunning it a little whenever he saw a deserted stretch of highway.

Billy's house was small and somewhat shabby, but a house's construction isn't what makes it a home. Billy and his family did not want for anything, he knew. Besides, there was enough useful junk on this property to give the place a distinct sense of character.

A metal clanging and a loud "shit!" from the makeshift garage drew his attention, so Charlie walked over to investigate. This was the real reason he was here anyway.

"Chief Swan!"

Charlie almost did a double take when he saw the boy, no, the young man rise from his place on the dirt floor and limp his way.

"Jacob! What happened to your leg? And what the hell is your old man feeding you?"

If he hadn't known the boy for over half his life Charlie would never have guessed he was only 15. It's been a good few months since he saw him, sure, but this was crazy! Charlie's police instincts were telling him to check for steroids in his bedroom.

Jacob grinned good-naturedly. "Aw, I'm just a growing kid. Runs in the family, you know."

"Uh huh," Charlie muttered. "And your leg?"

"Dropped a wrench on my toe just now."

And your toe didn't break the wrench? Charlie wondered. He shook his head. He could believe what Jacob said about his physique though. A lot of kids on this reservation developed some wicked muscles in high school. Now that he was looking at Jacob up close, he recalled seeing a group of others his age on the road to La Push. Some of them looked familiar, and all of them looked like gym rats. Must be something in the water.

"Well, be careful Jacob," Charlie said. "You sure you can handle this?"

"Chief! I'm hurt!" Jacob grinned again. "You'll be begging to give me more dough when I'm done with this baby. You'll think you were driving a '68, not a '53!"

Charlie chuckled and eyed the rusty red hulk of a truck that was taking up most of the space in the 'garage.' Like everything out here in La Push, it was old and battered and used...but boy did it have character. At the moment though it looked more like it was in the middle of open heart surgery. The engine and untold number of nuts and bolts were strewn about in absolutely no order. The transmission was lying on its side in the truck bed. And was that the steering wheel on the roof?

"Don't sweat it!" Jacob's confidence almost made him forget he was a teenager. Then again the kid was a wiz with cars. Charlie was technically not allowed to have anybody but insurance and state approved shops work on police vehicles...good thing Jacob knew better than to blab about it to his friends. "It'll be ready in time. You have my word."

"Good, good," Charlie nodded and turned to leave. "Thanks a million, kid. You'll get your last check when you deliver."

"Awesome!" Jacob grinned. "Hey, who's this for, anyway?"

Charlie smiled softly. "It's for my daughter. For Bella."

* * *

The shed's roof was slanted and not like the roofs Bella had frequently slept on in the past, but it was still a rooftop and Bella still felt an odd sense of comfort in laying on it. Even if she dozed off and fell, she knew her power would prevent impact. There was no chance of falling asleep though, not when the animal she had mutilated kept appearing just beyond her closed eyelids.

_What have I done?_

The question replayed over and over in her mind. Bella tried to find a reason, some sense in what she'd done, but there was none to be found. She had killed that squirrel, tortured it, and until she realized exactly what she'd done...she had enjoyed it. _No, no, no!_ She didn't like causing pain, she insisted to herself. But then...what was it about the experience that had her so hypnotised? She did NOT enjoy the torture...but she did enjoy using her powers. She was so uninhibited in the forest, so free...so in sync with the power inside her.

_I don't want this._

It was surreal to think of herself in control, really in control of her powers. The time since her trip with Rosalie was one thing. This...this was something else. All her life Bella had treated what was inside her like a cancer. It was foreign and unnatural, not part of her but an invader. The monster and she were separate...and who could blame her for her logic? Bella did not control her most destructive gift...the monster did. Bella did not lash out and hurt people...the monster did. Bella did not enjoy burning, destroying...

Or did she?

When it was finally beaten into submission months ago, Bella thought the monster was now under her control. It had struggled and struggled to come out and control her like it used to, but Bella had won every time. Today, there was no fight. There was no struggle. There was neither victor nor loser. There was only Bella.

Bella was the one who tortured and killed that poor animal, not the monster. The thought brought a cold shudder through her body. Her mind once again replayed every second of that deranged encounter. Though nauseated by what her educated mind knew was wrong and immoral, Bella could not deny the feelings of euphoria _and rightness_ that had flooded her body while she tortured the squirrel's.

The implications nearly had her throwing up again. She balled a fist around a stray piece of wood on the roof, not stopping until it hurt a little. There was only one explanation that she could think of.

She and the monster were now one.

_Knock, Knock._

Cursing his timing, Bella deftly jumped through the window and raced down the stairs to open the door for Charlie.

"Hi Bella," Charlie said with a small but nervous small.

Bella didn't smile back. It was a miracle she didn't scream, really. She was able to gather some wits after a few seconds though and came to her senses.

"H-hello," she whispered.

He frowned. "You ok? You look a bit queasy."

She nodded quickly. "Mmm. Had some bad food this afternoon. Haven't been feeling too good."

"Oh," he shuffled his feet. "Well, ah...I just ordered a pizza. I guess you might not feel up to it but...if you're hungry...you wanna come into the house for a while? To eat?"

Bella _was_ hungry, but if she had any sense left in her, any at all, she would not follow Charlie back to the house. Not after what she had just seen...

But then again, he had never invited her in. This would be the first time she had an actual meal with her father.

"Ok," she nodded.

His smile widened a little, and he stepped aside to give her some space as they walked to the house together.

Bella looked at him out of the corner of her eye, but the image that had terrified her moments ago was still there...sharp and alarming and vivid as ever.

The ghost of a smile still adorned his face as they stepped into the house together. If he could look through her eyes though, he would not be smiling. Because although Bella could plainly see her father making an effort and taking steps to have a relationship with his daughter, Bella saw something else too.

There on Charlie's face, Bella saw the twitching, tortured, screaming face of the squirrel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Short but, ah, no not very sweet is it?


	48. Resolve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"Mrs. Hashim, this book is ridiculous."

Bella rolled her eyes but remained slouched at her desk. This was Eric's idea of answering a teacher's question...

Mrs. Hashim raised an eyebrow and sighed. She probably had somebody like him every year. Hell, every class most likely...

"Very well Mr. Yorkie. Would you care to enlighten your classmates as to just _why_ Crime and Punishment, one of the most important works of modern civilization, is...ridiculous?"

Eric leaned back in his chair and smiled what he probably thought was a winning grin.

"Because the dude, Raskolnikov, is nuts! He thinks he's superman so he goes on a murdering rampage? Just to prove that he's better than everyone else? Come on Mrs. H, even you have to agree that that's loopy."

"Oh I don't disagree with you Eric...completely anyway. Petrovich, the magistrate investigating the murders, himself more or less said that the criminal who committed those murders would either confess or go crazy. Guilt however is one of the main themes of the novel. Only the guilt-ridden have the potential for redemption through insanity or confession. So Raskolnikov is in fact, _not_ crazy. If he were, he wouldn't have gone through that long journey...he wouldn't care at all."

Jessica spoke up. "But I don't understand. How can a person go from 'I'm better than everyone else' to 'let's kill some people to prove it'?"

Several heads nodded in agreement with the student's inquiry. Bella faced forward and willed herself not to move.

The teacher sighed. "All right, let's look at this from another angle. Something a little easier to swallow than 19th century Russian thinking..."

"Eric," she said as she walked stiffly to stand in front of him. "I hereby bestow upon you...the power of Death. Congratulations."

She handed him the pen in her hand. "Your scythe, highness," she smirked.

Eric grinned and waved the pen in the air. "Thanks, Mrs. H. But you know I just killed you, right?"

"You don't really need the scythe, Eric. All you have to do it is _think it_...and I'm dead. Anyone, anywhere...their life is snuffed out because you, lord of Death, wanted it to happen. How does that feel?"

"Pretty cool," he replied, unaffected.

"Now imagine that power as automatic as yawning or even breathing. It's that easy. How do you feel?"

"Still good," he said.

"Someone trips you in the hall and you react. Boom, he's dead. Another teacher gives you a bad grade. Boom, she's dead. Your mom yells at you because you forgot to make your bed. She's dead too. Still feeling good?"

Eric looks at her questioningly. "What does this have to do with Crime and Punishment."

"Raskolnikov murders two people. But the murders are a result of his belief that he is above it all. Even if he didn't really have super powers, he believed his mind was a superpower...and that made him unique...someone above and beyond all the lowly people around him. He increasingly cuts himself off from society...from his family, his friends, foolishly believing that he is of different stock than they. Because of that perceived difference, that perceived superiority, he kills Alyona Ivanovna and Lizaveta and he really _does_ think he's doing the world a favor. But Raskolnikov is not a superman. Why? Because the guilt starts to eat away at him. The guilt lowers him to a human, and the novel argues that it's guilt more than any physical punishment that punishes criminals like him. That guilt can drive a person mad...but they have to be sane first. Sane and human. Only when a person like that goes insane or confesses out of guilt do we know for sure they had a conscience to begin with...that they are in fact capable of redemption and forgiveness."

The class sat in silence thinking over her words. Bella, who still had not moved since they started this conversation, gripped her pencil so hard it shattered, shattering the silence along with it. Everybody turned to look at her.

"Bella," the teacher called on her as she walked to the front of the room along her aisle. "Eric's just relinquished his power over death-sorry Eric. It's all yours now. What do you want to do?"

 _I want to burn something_.

"T-try not to use it," Bella said.

Mrs. Hashim raised both eyebrows. "Come on, Bella! Be realistic here. You are the most powerful person in this room. A gift like that can't be coincidence. Why wield it if not to use it? And since you're the one with the power, it's only right that you get to decide our fate. If you think I'm wasting the air I breath, you should get rid of me. If you think Jessica or Eric or anybody doesn't deserve to live, you, like Raskolnikov, can fix it. Right?"

_Don't look at her. Don't look at her. Don't look at her._

Like that'll help anymore, she thought bitterly. Still, avoiding eye contact was too ingrained a habit to break so easily, so she continued to glare at the blackboard. Maybe if she did that long enough, the images around her would finally change.

"Bella, it's rude not to look at the person speaking to you."

_Please don't explode. Please don't explode._

Bella looked up. Her teacher, thankfully, did not collapse and die. Keeping her face perfectly neutral, Bella opened her mouth to speak.

The door burst opened and everyone turned to look at the intruder. It was Rosalie.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Hashim," she said. "Bella Swan is needed in the main office."

Bella released a big breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"We're in the middle of class, Ms. Hale," the teacher huffed, clearly irritated.

Rosalie shrugged. "I'm just the messenger," she said coolly. "But they told me to tell her to bring her stuff too."

Bella didn't bother waiting for the teacher to respond. In five seconds flat she had her things gathered and packed, and without a second glance at anyone in the class, walked out with her savior.

"Take everything," Rosalie pointed to her locker. "We're leaving."

"What about classes?" Bella asked but she did as Rosalie requested anyway.

"Alice will cover for us," Rosalie responded. "She'll find a way."

Together they walked quickly to Rosalie's bright red BMW and got in. Bella closed her eyes and counted from one to ten, grateful for not making a horrible mistake today. It had been a long time since she had to resort to one of her calming exercises, and she was pleasantly surprised that they still helped.

"How did you know?"

"Jasper could feel you freaking out," Rosalie said. "And I heard the discussion..."

Bella looked down, ashamed. A second later, she felt Rosalie's hand rest on top of her own.

"You are _not_ a deranged criminal, Bella." Rosalie spoke urgently. "You have never acted superior to those around you. You would never kill just for fun. Every death...every death was an accident."

Except for one, Bella wanted to scream. That animal didn't just die by her hands. It experienced true terror. She tortured it without mercy before casually ending its life. From the moment she spotted it scurrying up that tree that animal had lost all its chances. Boom, dead.

And today...Bella would be lying if she thought Mrs. Hashim's words didn't affect her. How wonderful it would be...how easy to erase people like Jessica and Lauren from her life. It would only take a thought. A moment of clear decision and intention. Boom, dead.

Should she tell her? Rosalie wouldn't hate her but...she might look at her differently. Bella was strong, but not that strong. She couldn't stand the thought of making Rosalie uncomfortable or disappointing her.

_No. I have to try harder._

"Where are we going?" She squeezed the cold hand in her lap and willed its temperature to cool the rest of her.

"Wherever you'd like," Rosalie smiled. "I thought you might like to go flying..."

Bella smiled back. "Thanks for rescuing me," she said softly.

Rosalie brought her hand to her lips and left a gentle kiss.

* * *

After dropping Bella off at home, Rosalie decided to take a leisurely stroll back to the house. Their afternoon off was an enjoyable one. Though flying made her queasy, she relented and let Bella zoom her around to her heart's content without complaining. Whatever was bothering her had given way to the lovely carefree laughter that was inevitable whenever the girl took to the sky. Though Rosalie's default facial expression was steely ambivalence, she could not help but subconsciously smile whenever Bella, like Emmett, graced her thoughts.

The smile left her face immediately when she sensed the presence of someone else.

Before he even got the chance to react after her change in thoughts, Rosalie snarled and leapt on top of Edward who was perched not far from Bella's shed.

"What. The. FUCK. Are you doing here?" She hissed.

"Just smelling the fresh air, same as you," he replied calmly.

"Bullshit," she said. Words couldn't describe how much she wanted to wipe that superior smirk off his face with her fists. Or better yet, the heel of her shoe.

"That's a bit over the top, isn't it?" Edward rolled his eyes at the thoughts he picked up.

Anyone else would cower before the venomous look on Rosalie's face, but from the very beginning Edward had always disregarded her temper and quietly ignored her. It grated on Rosalie more than anything at first...she was not one to be ignored, after all. She may not posses telepathy but she was good at reading people too. Edward had always thought of her as vain, spoiled, and inconsequential. She _was_ all of those things on the surface-she had never bothered to hide it. But she was also so much more. It had not taken long for Esme to see it and the two of them forged a powerful friendship. Alice and Jasper too became close friends, as close to real siblings as Rosalie could ever hope. And as for Emmett and Bella...they didn't just see Rosalie's essence...they _dove_ right into it and grabbed onto her heart so suddenly, so unexpectedly that she still reeled from the intensity of it all.

But Edward had never bothered to look beyond what he could easily see.

She gritted her teeth. "I'll ask you one more time, Edward. _What_ are you doing here?"

Edward's eyes bore into hers. He had yet to move from his spot. "What are _you_ doing, Rosalie?"

He didn't give her a chance to answer. "How long can you keep this up? Hmm? One night with her, one night with Emmett. How long before one of them starts to want more? Or worse, when you want one more than the other?"

Rosalie shook with agitation. "You don't understand," she whispered. "You've never understood."

"Yeah, yeah," he drawled. "I've never had a mate. I don't know what it's like...I've heard this all before. I'm no fool either, Rosalie. There are right things, and there are wrong things. And what you're doing...to yourself, to your husband, and to her is all wrong."

Rosalie seethed quietly. There was no point arguing with Edward. He listened to people's minds all day but he never listened to them speak. Especially Rosalie.

Edward frowned. "I listen, Rose. More than you ever have. And I watch too. Your _girlfriend_ ," he spat out the word, "is a ticking time bomb, or have you been too busy defiling each other to see it? She's got more control than before, I'll give her that. But have you looked at her, really looked at her lately? Especially after using her gifts with Carlisle? I don't think she's the saint she's led you all to believe. She's going to lose it. Somehow, sometime soon...she's going to lose it and draw the attention of the Volturi. Then what will you tell them, hmm? That your _human_ trick on the side who happens to know all about Vampires and is capable of wiping us all out had a minor accident?! You think they'll forgive that?"

Rosalie was on top of him before he knew it. He hissed as her fist connected with his face, creating spider cracks all over his left cheek. Whatever restraint he normally felt about hitting a woman disappeared in his roar of anger. He swung at Rosalie's stomach but she dodged just in time and twisted his arm behind him. He growled in pain and rage but she did not let go. Instead she grunted and shoved him face first into the nearest tree. She managed to find his other arm and brought that behind him as well.

"You little fucker," she whispered. She twisted his hands even more behind him, just itching to pluck his fingers off one by one. "Is that what you were doing this summer? Took your sweet ass time getting back from Denali. Did you go to the Volturi?"

Edward struggled but Rosalie didn't budge. He laughed weakly. "If I did, don't you think they'd be here by now?"

"I _don't_ believe you," she hissed. "What the hell has you so invested anyway? You don't want to be part of this, so leave. You're outnumbered. Heavily. And the more you bitch and moan, the more all of us can't stand you. She's my mate whether you like it or not! _Why_ are you still fighting it?"

Edward shook with fury and something else. He managed to turn his head so Rosalie could see his eyes as he spoke, his voice getting louder with each word. " _She's not. Your. Mate!_ "

With a roar he twisted free of her grip and landed a kick on her stomach. Rosalie snarled and lunged, bringing him down with her. Pitch black eyes met one another as they fought uncontrollably on the forest floor. Neither maintained the upper hand for long before the other skillfully escaped their grasp. Rosalie happened to be lying beneath him for a moment when she saw a hint of a smile on his face. Why, or what he was gleaning from her mind she did not know, but that smile carried such an ominous, poisonous taste that she felt it in her throat.

"Have you told her about the others?" He whispered. "How many affairs does that make?"

Rosalie never got the chance to retaliate, luckily for Edward, because the last ounce of control she possessed was gone and the next thing she would've done...the _only_ thing she _could've_ done next was separate his head from his body.

Alice and Jasper appeared like a freight train, knocking Edward off of her. Jasper quickly had him pinned while Alice tended to Rosalie, who was still deep in predator mode.

"Rosalie...Rosalie?...Come on Rosalie, come back."

Alice's soft voice slowly brought her back while Jasper hit her with wave after wave of calm.

It took several minutes for her and Edward to calm down and stand up again on their own.

"Have you both lost your minds?" Alice screeched. "What the hell are you going for, Edward? And you!" She rounded on Rosalie. "You were about to kill him!"

"He was asking for it," Rosalie mumbled and glared at him.

"I don't doubt that," Alice rolled her eyes. "But we do not solve our problems by killing each other! I can't believe I have to actually say this to you."

Rosalie glared at Edward again and showed her teeth. "Excuse me," she said to Alice and Jasper, nodded a thank you for their interference, and stormed away.

Alice turned to her former favorite brother. "Keep this up and you _will_ get your death wish eventually. I know what you want to do. It's not going to work. Your morals be damned, Edward...Rosalie _is_ Bella's mate. Rosalie _does_ love the two of them the same way Jasper and I love each other."

"And your feelings aren't what you think they are," Jasper added. "She intrigues you, surprises you, makes you work harder to get to know her because you can't read her. But you don't love her...not in the way that counts."

Edward stood silently before them. They could see that he understood what they said. It was loud and clear in his eyes that the battle he wanted to fight was already lost.

Without another word he disappeared in the opposite direction from Rosalie's flight. Alice and Jasper sighed in relief and looked at one another.

"I think..." Alice bit her lip. "I think we should stay here tonight. In case he comes back."

She didn't need to elaborate. If Alice said he might come back, then Edward was definitely coming back. They would both hunker down here tonight to watch over their favorite human, who was sleeping peacefully in her shed completely unaware of what had transpired less than half a mile from where she lay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Sorry this is a tad late. Every time I told my brain to plan out the events of this chapter it would stick out its tongue at me and jump ahead to future events. Stupid brain.


	49. Speak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Emmett sighed and adjusted his position on the bed. He wasn't uncomfortable of course-it was impossible for a vampire to feel physically uncomfortable-but he had been sitting like this with Bella for over an hour. Every time he shifted to leave, she subconsciously gripped his hand tighter in her own, unwilling to part with whatever comfort she was receiving from his touch.

He looked up towards the door just as Rosalie silently walked through it. When she reached his side, she gently kissed his temple before whispering softly in his ear, "Thank you."

* * *

**Earlier that day:**

"What is that awful smell?"

Alice crinkled her nose and looked to Jasper, who was unfortunately as clueless as she.

"I don't know darling," Jasper replied. His eyes watered a little from the pungent smell. "But if this is the reason you dragged me over here I might just have to serve you with divorce papers."

She rolled her eyes. The two of them were lounged on top of Charlie's house. They were drenched from the torrential downpour that had started and stopped a few minutes earlier, and to make things worse, they weren't even here to hang out with Bella.

"Why can't you influence your visions?" Jasper grumbled light-heartedly. "Make them take place at night? Preferably in a dry location..."

"Hush! It's starting!"

It was Jasper's turn to roll his eyes, but he had to admit he was pretty curious. The vision Alice had seen earlier today had made her giddy with hope and excitement. She wouldn't tell him what she saw but knowing it had something to do with Bella was enough to make him happy too. Bella's emotions have been all over the place the last couple of weeks...she could use something uplifting.

Down below, they watched Charlie walk up to Bella's door. Jasper observed him carefully, looking for signs of the hatred he had seen in the past. Charlie's emotions, like Bella's, were all over the map right now. He was apprehensive and excited. He appeared to both dread and look forward to whatever was about to happen. Did he still hate his daughter? Jasper believed he no longer harbored such acrimonious feelings for Bella...but the man did not love her, yet. And he most certainly did not forgive her. That was, unfortunately, easy to ascertain. Jasper occasionally still checked on Charlie on his own, and though he had not needed to use his gift for some time, Jasper knew it would be a long time before Charlie could look at Bella without flinching. He may never get there, he thought sadly.

"Good morning, Charlie," they heard Bella greet him.

"Morning," Charlie answered awkwardly. "Uh, you got a second? I want you to take a look at something."

She was still on her guard. Good girl, he thought, though he knew she had nothing to fear from Charlie today.

Fidgeting in place, she finally nodded after giving Charlie a long, searching look.

The two of them walked to the front of the house. Jasper noted how tense Bella was.

"Are you still having trouble seeing her?" He asked Alice.

"Yes," she replied quietly. "It's been a lot harder the last couple of weeks actually. It only seems to work when she's completely calm and unguarded. Which means..."

"Which means something is really bothering her," he finished. He wished Bella would give them a clue. He was starting to think Carlisle and Esme's approach was not proper here-they too had noticed Bella's odd behavior, but they were treating her like they treated each of them...like the adult vampires they were. But Bella was neither vampire nor adult. Jasper had no idea if talking about her problems would help but it had to be better than the turmoil staying silent was causing her.

Below, Charlie led Bella to the driveway where an ancient, hideous, red truck stood parked by his police cruiser.

"Um," Charlie shuffled his feet. Good grief, that man was awkward as they come. "This is for you."

Bella stared at the truck in confusion. "You're giving me a car?" She sounded pretty shocked.

"Well, you're old enough." Charlie said quietly. "Weather can get real rough here in the winter. It's not safe for you to be biking around when the snow hits. This used to belong to a friend of mine in La Push. His boy's your age-well, maybe a little younger, but he's a wiz with cars and he fixed this up real nicely for you." Charlie was rambling now. "I know it looks ancient but the engine's what matters and it's good as new."

Bella continued to stare. Despite his revulsion with the truck, Jasper smiled when Bella's emotions reached him. She was stunned, hopeful, relieved and so, so happy. His vampire eyes could see that she was struggling not to cry, but a tear slipped down her face anyway. Charlie looked like he wanted to hide behind a tree but Jasper still saw a hint of a smile on his face. And he felt it-a small, very, very small twinge of affection in his heart.

"Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Thank you," she whispered.

Charlie handed her the keys. "When you get back from your trip, I'll get you a permit and start teaching you how to drive. Unless...of course if you'd rather ask Carlisle..."

"No!" Bella said quickly. "No, you can do it."

He nodded. "Well, I'll be off. Bye, Bella."

"Bye." She was still staring at her truck when he left. Slowly she walked around, inspecting it before she opened the creaky door and went inside.

"No wonder it stinks," Alice whispered. "It's from La Push."

"You think that boy is one of them?" Jasper asked. This was a surprising development. He and Alice had never encountered the wolves here but the others had. He knew La Push was their territory. Now that he had more information, it was clear whatt the stench emanating from the truck was.

"It's a possibility." Then Alice grinned. "Which do you think will infuriate Rosalie more? The smell or the truck itself?"

Jasper chuckled. "Don't spoil it for me," he replied.

* * *

"Bella!"

Bella was still sitting inside the truck- _her truck_ -when Rosalie and Emmett appeared through the windshield. She looked up just in time to see Rosalie's face change from panic to confusion to revulsion.

"Hi," she greeted them. She was still up in the clouds somewhere because of Charlie's gift. This is big, she thought. He wouldn't do this if he didn't care about her. Right? "Why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong?"

Rosalie was indeed staring at her, but more so at the truck with the strangest expression on her face.

"Bella," Rosalie came to her senses and spoke slowly. "What the hell is that thing?"

"It's from Charlie," Bella grinned. "It's for me!"

The blonde closed her mouth.

Emmett stepped forward, eyeing the truck. "Crap Bells, how can you stand the smell?"

"What smell?" Bella was confused now, and a tad irritated. "Hey don't mock it just because it's old. It's perfect."

Rosalie opened her mouth. Then she closed it again.

"Do you mind if we take the Jeep?" She finally said. "It's already packed."

"Ok," Bella smiled and got out of the truck, carefully closing and locking the doors.

Emmett chuckled. "Looks like Bella Bear's found the second love of her life."

Bella only grinned back, though she thought she spied Rosalie rolling her eyes and glaring at her truck from the corner of her eyes.

"Let's go," Rosalie grumbled, much to Emmett's amusement.

* * *

The beach at Shipwreck Point was a beautiful place. The whole area was wild and feral, but the beach especially had a fierceness about it that made it all the more beautiful. Just like Rosalie, Bella thought and she smiled as she pictured the blonde walking on that beach. Beautiful.

It wasn't a private beach but it may as well be; nobody but them was crazy enough to vacation out here this time of year. There were a few stragglers here and there when they arrived though so they would all have to be mindful. Bella was knocked out of her thoughts when Emmett suddenly hoisted her off her feet and up from the path to their cabin.

"Emmett!"

"You're going too slowly, Bella Bear!" He laughed. "I wanna start this vacation already."

She glared but let him manhandle her inside. Behind them, Rosalie smiled softly and brought in their bags.

Inside, this cabin looked to be the same size as the one she and Rosalie had shared in the Yukon, but whereas that one had a breezy open layout, this place was warm and cozy and sectioned off. Almost as soon as they stepped inside though, Bella thought of something.

"Um," she started weakly. "How is this going to work?"

She was, of course, referring to the lone bedroom.

"Well, since you're the only one of us who sleeps, you get the bed," Rosalie stated calmly.

"Unless you find yourself emotionally attached to the roof of course," Emmett grinned. "We won't stop you."

Bella knew he was joking, but the idea warmed her up anyway. It would be wonderful to sleep outside in a place like this with the sounds of the waves crashing in the background.

Rosalie gave her a look. "Good grief, Bells. You are not sleeping outside."

Bella stuck out her tongue and took her small bag into the bedroom.

"Swimming in 10 minutes!" Emmett shouted through the walls. "Clothing is optiona-ow!"

She grinned as she closed the door behind her. As soon as the door shut and separated her from Rosalie and Emmett, the smile left her face.

There was fire everywhere. Every object in her sights was a potential fire starter. Every vista her eyes could see held blaze after blaze of red and orange. And worst of all, every person, every breathing moving thing was both alive and dead. She would be speaking to Charlie or Esme or one of her teachers and suddenly all she would see was charred flesh. No one was immune from her sadistic imagination. Not even Rosalie.

Bella felt lost. She didn't know what to do. Whenever those images invaded her mind during the last few weeks she'd silently scream for them to stop, and they would. But they came back again and again. She knew how to fight. If there was something evil there she could hold it off...she knew she could. But there was nobody there this time. There was no monster. There was no evil for her to overcome. There was only her. Bella was completely alone.

Directly in front of her, flames licked up the wall. Bella whimpered. In seconds the blaze rose up to the ceiling and spread to the other walls.

_Stop. Stop! STOP!_

It stopped.

_Knock, knock._

"Bella," Rosalie called to her softly behind the door. "You ok?"

The walls around her were still the pristine white they had always been. In her mind, her own walls immediately came up.

"Yeah!" She said in a light-hearted tone. "Just having a panic attack looking at this bathing suit you got me."

"You'll be beautiful in it," Rosalie replied with a smile. "I promise. Alice already saw it."

* * *

Rosalie watched Emmett and Bella play fighting in the water. She sat in her chair, wanting to soak up as much of the sun's rays, weak as they were, before she joined her lovers. At the moment Bella was standing on top of one of his outstretched arm trying to keep her balance...rather hard to do when Emmett kept waving his arms up and down. Rosalie smiled when Bella, having fallen headfirst into the water, sputtered and tried to tackle Emmett.

The two of them were so oddly in sync with each other. Rosalie knew that it was this more than anything else that would give their relationship its fighting chance. Mates or not, a relationship can flourish or disintegrate just as easily as with humans. Emmett chose to believe that all mates were successful because there was no other way. Rosalie wasn't so sure. Before having both Bella and Emmett in her life, Rosalie was sure she'd happily trade her existence for humanity...even if it meant never finding true love. Her hatred for herself, her love for humanity at times felt stronger than her love for her mate. Bella's appearance in her life, for whatever reason, forced her to rethink her outlook and it has indeed changed considerably. But there were still moments...There were still moments when the ache to hold her own child and to grow old with someone overwhelmed even the overwhelming feelings she had for Bella and Emmett.

That was why Rosalie refused to take her relationship with Bella for granted. She knew, perhaps more than anyone in her family, that there were forces in this world stronger even than the bond between mates. That was why she despised Edward's attitude so much-the bond between herself and Bella, but more importantly between all three of them would always require hard work. It would always be subject to scorn and derision by people like him who have never asked themselves to look at the world with new eyes.

It hurt that Bella wouldn't talk to her. But she understood and tried not to dwell on it. Rosalie couldn't be everything to Bella-just as Emmett couldn't be everything to Rosalie. Come to think of it, there were things that Bella and Emmett shared that she herself did not understand. She had been patient and followed Carlisle and Esme's advice to let Bella speak up when she felt ready. But enough was enough. Bella was suffering. She hid it so well that Rosalie was embarrassed and angry with herself for not seeing it sooner, but between Jasper's gift, Alice's inability to see her except for the rarest of times, and her and Emmett's observations, she knew without a doubt that something was causing Bella distress. Rosalie had made several subtle inquiries over the last few weeks but Bella wouldn't budge.

"Come on, Rose!" Bella shouted happily from the water. She was levitating an ecstatic Emmett from deep below the water in order for him to perform some rather dolphinesque moves before splashing down.

Rosalie smiled and shook her head. Bella wasn't faking her joy right now. _Good job, Emmett._

* * *

"Oh, Bells," Emmett laughed. "You know there's plenty of chairs inside."

Bella smiled and scooted over as Emmett made to join her. She didn't know what it was about heights that comforted her so much...maybe because she's fallen so many times and gotten back up when others would've stayed down. This wasn't even that high a perch...She was only one story above ground, but the sight of the waves crashing on the beach from up here brought her a sense of peace few things could imitate. Watching Rosalie in the sunlight was the only other thing that came close.

Emmett seemed to acknowledge her need for quiet. The two of them sat together without speaking for several minutes. Bella heard the shower start below them. The sun and long showers, she thought with a smile...two of the many puzzle pieces needed to appreciate their Rosalie.

"You know," Emmett cleared his throat. "Rosalie's not the only one who loves you."

Bella turned to him, confusion written on her face. "Huh?"

"All of us care about you, Bells," he continued. "Especially me. You're part of our family. And you're my best friend."

"I know, Em...where are you going with this?"

He sighed and drew closer. "Something is bothering you," he said quietly. Bella started to feel panicky. "There...just now your heartbeat sped up, so don't bother denying it. We've all noticed it."

Bella looked away and tried to slow her racing heart. "It's nothing, Emmett..."

"It's not nothing!" He said indignantly. "Bella, please talk to me. Of all people, don't you think I'd understand? We share so much...You know you don't have to hide anything with me."

How could she explain? How could she explain that the Emmett speaking to her was turning to ashes right before her eyes? How could she explain that despite the beauty of their serene surroundings, part of her wanted to envelop it all in soothing flames?

"Em...," she whispered.

"No," he said firmly. "You need to talk to someone and I'm here. I'm willing to hear and I want to help. Start talking."

Bella closed her eyes. What would happen when she revealed everything? Would they fear her? Decide she was too unstable to be around humans? Around them? Even as she ran through scenario after unthinkable scenario in her mind, she felt Emmett's hand come down gently on hers. She squeezed, hard, and started to speak.

* * *

Emmett sighed and adjusted himself on the bed. He wasn't uncomfortable of course-it was impossible for a vampire to feel physically uncomfortable-but he had been sitting like this with Bella for over an hour. Every time he shifted to leave, she subconsciously gripped his hand tighter in her own, unwilling to part with whatever comfort she was receiving from his touch.

He looked up towards the door just as Rosalie silently walked through it. When she reached his side, she gently kissed his temple before whispering softly in his ear, "Thank you."

He held out his free arm. Rosalie slid into his embrace with a practiced and natural ease.

"What are we going to do?" He whispered quietly.

"You mean after I kill Carlisle?" She growled. Their father meant well but that would not be enough to stem the talking-to she planned to give him.

Emmett smiled sadly, and Rosalie refrained from saying more for a little while. She breathed in his scent which, when mingled with Bella's was even more enticing, and watched him gently caress Bella's hand.

"I can't believe she thought we'd think she was too dangerous for us."

Rosalie was silent. She was thinking back to her encounter with Edward and all the times since during which they both wanted to kill each other.

"Edward knew," she hissed. "I don't know how but he's known all this time. I'm gonna fucking kill him."

"We need to help Bella, love," he turned to her. "That comes first."

"I know," she sighed. "We'll figure something out." Silence for minute, then, "You think you can let go now?"

Carefully, Emmett untangled his hand from Bella's and moved away. She didn't move.

"You were amazing today," Rosalie whispered and leaned in to kiss him deeply. "You deserve a reward." She kissed him again. "Follow me."

Emmett grinned and did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I wish I could live inside these stories. Any story. Real life is utterly exhausting while writing this is magnificently exhilarating. Please review if you get a chance.


	50. See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Soundtrack for this chapter is "Inanna" by Armand Amar.

Before even opening her eyes, Bella sensed it was still night. Their little cabin was surprisingly well insulated because even though she knew it was freezing outside, here under the thick covers she was uncomfortably warm. Why didn't she remember getting into bed? Oh...

Emmett. He had coaxed her into talking. She had talked...and talked and talked. Once the first words were spoken everything that she had kept buried had tumbled out until she was too tired to say another word. What was going to happen now? She had been so ashamed of herself, so afraid to let another person see the darkness within her that even now, having already spilled her secrets to someone, she was feeling more than queasy.

But Emmett did not back away from her. He listened quietly and when the tears started, held her until she stopped shaking. She should've known, really. Of all her friends, Emmett was the most trustful and the most innocent. He believed her when she said she didn't really want to hurt anyone...even though she wasn't sure if she could believe it herself.

Too many thoughts. Her brain felt too crowded, as if all her thoughts were suddenly in motion when she just needed to be still. She kicked the covers off of her and padded over to the window, through which the moon shone brilliantly in the sky. Focus on that, she told herself. There's so much beauty out here...and _you don't_ want to burn it. _You don't, you don't, you don't_ , she firmly admonished herself. She stood there looking and unseeing for so long as she slowly cleared her mind that she almost missed it. In fact, her eyes had probably raked over them several times in the last few minutes without her realizing it...

It was Rosalie. And Emmett. They were far, close to the water and partly obscured by a big dune but their figures were unmistakable. And while Bella was too far away to see any details, the movement of their bodies was too obvious, too deliberate to be anything other than what it was. They were making love.

Bella's heart beat like a drum in her chest as she watched, mesmerized, unable to avert her eyes. They were moving so slowly...Emmett was sitting up and leaning back comfortably on something she couldn't make out...and Rosalie was on top of him, facing him. Her arms and legs were wrapped tightly around him...

Bella was still breathing. Her body was frozen, but her breathing did not falter. Her mind, empty and calm after forcibly clearing it of the terrible, fiery thoughts from before, remained still and motionless as she watched. She stood there for what felt like an eternity...and still Rosalie kept moving.

She'd read enough to know what she was supposed to feel. Watching your lover have sex with someone else was supposed to incite anger and jealousy inside her. She was supposed to be hurt and devastated. Polyamorous relationships like theirs did not necessarily mean the people partaking in them were privy to such intimate knowledge and displays. So even they, though fully aware and accepting of additional relationships, would understandably be affected by a sight like the one playing out on the beach...especially if it was the first time. Bella's mind scrambled through book after book and her limited human experience, looking for something, anything to give her guidance and a clue to her own emotions. She wished Jasper were here to explain her feelings.

Maybe if the distance between them wasn't so great and she could see more...maybe if the cool breeze caressing her face wasn't so soothing...maybe if the moonlight reflecting off of Rosalie's skin wasn't so heart-stoppingly beautiful. Maybe, in a different setting under different circumstances she might feel the things she was supposed to feel. But right now all she could think of was how beautiful Rosalie looked. And all she could feel was love for her.

Rosalie was looking at Emmett now. Their foreheads touched and although Bella couldn't see her facial expression, she imagined the tender looks she and Rosalie always gave one another when they made love like this. She imagined Emmett looking at her the same way...him pouring out his love for her through his eyes the way Bella tried to do the same for her. And strangely enough, the emotion she felt next was happiness...happiness that Rosalie got to be so loved. Rosalie was an angel, and she deserved this love and more...

With a start Bella realized her usual tight rein on her power was loose and unrestrained. Yet nothing burned. She double checked to be sure and finally took her eyes off of the couple to do so. Nothing was amiss. There was no terrible crackling of flames or red in the night; only the sounds of the ocean and the breeze...and in the distance, the swaying bodies of the love of her life and the man who loved her.

* * *

The next morning, Bella gradually awoke from the racket the birds were making. She thought she closed the window...

"I know you're awake."

Bella opened her eyes and found Rosalie sitting on the bed next to her.

"Hi..." She mumbled and sat up a little.

Rosalie said nothing, but she did lean in and kiss her tenderly on the cheek. "I made you breakfast," she said softly. "Don't give me that look. It's fine. Perfectly edible."

Bella bit her tongue and took the plate of god-knows-what from her. It looked like a hybrid of sausages and mashed potatoes...in some kind of soup.

_I will eat it because I love her. I will eat it because I love her._

She picked at it and wolfed down a few bites in silence. All the while, Rosalie watched from beside her with an unreadable expression. When Bella had enough that she could set her plate aside without offending her, she did so and shyly asked, "Where's Emmett?"

Rosalie gave her a long look before she finally answered. "He went hunting. He...thought it would be best for us to talk alone about last night."

Bella must have blushed bright scarlet. "Uh, it's ok...we don't have to-"

"I'm referring to the conversation you had with him, Bella," she interrupted her gently. "Not about what you saw. _That_ will be the next order of business...though we can start with that if you prefer."

Fuck. "Um, sorry about that."

"There's no need to feel sorry, Bella," Rosalie held her hand as she spoke. "Something like this was bound to happen eventually to one of you. Though I am surprised...and impressed that nothing blew up as a result."

"Yeah..." Bella really didn't want to talk about this. It was embarrassing enough that she saw what she did and worse, that she didn't immediately shut her eyes and turn away like any normal person would. "I wasn't upset by it," she said quietly as she squeezed the hand that fit so nicely in hers. "Honestly, I expected to be but I wasn't."

Rosalie took her plate and set it on the nightstand. She opened her arms and Bella automatically found her place inside them. "What _did_ you feel?" The older girl asked.

Did she have a better grasp of what went on inside her than she did last night? Bella thought for a few moments. It was hard because unlike the Vampires, she did not have decades of living to draw from. Emmett and Rosalie had a decided advantage over her in this case.

"Emmett said something to me when he found me in Colorado...when he brought me back to you," she started. Beside her, Rosalie looked up, surprised at where Bella was taking the conversation. "He said that you do crazy things for your mate. He said that when you fell for me, it was like your heart got bigger to accommodate your love for the two of us." She could see Rosalie's lips twitch upward. She turned a little inside her arms so they faced each other. "Watching you with him last night...seeing the...physical proof of your love for him...it didn't feel like there wasn't room in your heart for me." She touched the spot on Rosalie's chest where her heart lay still. It may be dead in the literal sense, but Bella knew it was alive and full of Rosalie's spirit. "I know I'm in there. Last night, even though you were with him I never felt like I wasn't in there."

The way Rosalie was looking at her...Bella felt naked and invisible at the same time. Rosalie had a way of stripping her to the bone with nothing but her eyes. Because of her, Bella didn't care about the shed or the bullies or that Charlie would probably never really forgive her. Because of all the Cullens really, to be fair...But it was Rosalie's heart that had become her home, and during moments like this...when she looked at her like that...it was like being wrapped in a silk blanket in which every strand was Rosalie, Rosalie, Rosalie.

The kiss was so tender and soft she barely felt it. Rosalie hugged her tightly and continued to kiss her softly while Bella relaxed in her embrace.

* * *

"You're not off the hook yet, Bella," Rosalie said sternly. She felt a little guilty seeing how obviously uncomfortable the girl was but it couldn't be avoided. Rosalie was too relieved that Bella had finally spoken up _not_ to do this.

Bella sighed and tensed in Rosalie's arms. Not two hours had passed since breakfast. The two of them spent the morning lazing and lounging around, Rosalie mostly quiet as she mulled over Bella's words, and Bella grateful for sidestepping the _other_ issue...the one Rosalie was insisting on bringing up now.

"I love you, Bella," Rosalie said softly. "I love you more than I can possibly show. Why didn't you come to me?"

She could practically feel Bella's walls coming up. "Don't shut me out," she begged. "There's nothing you can say that will make me think less of you. I promise you that."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Bella whispered, and Rosalie's heart broke when she heard the sad resignation in her voice.

"Bells-"

"I'm not a good person, Rose," Bella interrupted. _She's not the saint she's led you all to believe_. That was what Edward had said to her, and Rosalie curled her lip back at the memory of that conversation, grateful Bella couldn't see her face.

"Are you planning to elaborate?" She asked.

Bella squeezed the arms around her and looked out to the sea. They were sitting in the sand only a few feet away from the water's edge. Jagged rocks littered this section of the beach which meant there were unlikely to be any other people out here. Rosalie took advantage of the pause in their talk to pepper the back of her neck with soft kisses and to hug her as closely as she could without hurting her. The way they were sitting...Rosalie practically a chair for Bella...made Rosalie almost salivate with want. Maybe she should've hunted too...

"You heard everything with Emmett, right?" Bella asked. She nodded. "It's not just that I have to constantly tell myself not to blow things up." She paused and took a deep breath. "I want to. _I want_ to do these horrible things. I want to set everything on fire. And...I think I want to watch Jessica and Lauren burn."

"Oh, Bella," Rosalie continued to kiss her hair. "Why do you think you've been struggling so much, hmm? If you were such a bad person, why on earth would this be driving you crazy? You'd just do it, and to hell with everything."

"Bella, all of us struggle with something like this. Most vampires think humans are just walking blood bags. That's what we're supposed to think. We're _surrounded_ by humans. Don't you think we're tempted too? Those bitches...every time I hear them making a derogatory remark about you-and I hear a lot better than you, sweetie-I want to crush their skulls."

"What stops you?" Bella asked.

Rosalie paused. "I remind myself that they're more than what I see," she said. "They're assholes, yes...but each of them is also someone's friend, someone's child, maybe someone's sister. They have hobbies and passions. Someday they might make a contribution to the world. Someday, they might be mothers. That usually quells my desire to behead them."

If only Rosalie's guilt had to do with wanting to murder people. But she couldn't tell Bella that her single biggest struggle was one she was experiencing right this very moment. Bella's neck was centimeters from her fangs. All she had to do with lean in a little more. One quick bite. That's all it would take. Then Bella would be hers forever.

_She's Bella. She's amazing. She's smart and creative and talented. She's going to make a contribution. She's someone's daughter. She...someday, she might be someone's mother._

Bella leaned further back and Rosalie had to quickly turn her head to the side to avoid grazing her flesh with her teeth. It was much harder than she'd like to admit.

Though only easier by a few degrees, Rosalie tore her eyes away from Bella's neck and turned to watch the waves in front of them. The tide was coming in and she could feel the spray of water hitting their feet. What sun they had was long gone, vanished somewhere behind the steely gray clouds.

Bella fell back so much that soon Rosalie was able to kiss her cheek, and she did so over and over again. "I believe in you," she whispered. "I will always bet on you."

She cradled her in her arms as they both lay back in the sand. The tears in Bella's eyes reminded her of the humanity that was both a blessing and a curse to Rosalie.

"I love you," Bella breathed into her neck. "I love you. I love you. I love you..."

And then Bella was kissing her. Wildly. Blindingly. Rosalie understood exactly where this was coming from. In her weakest moments when her memories called up the horrific end of her human life she would cling to Emmett just like this. It was the need to feel something other than the poisonous thoughts.

But there was something she needed to do before they gave in to what they both wanted.

"Bella," she murmured. "Wait...wait. Do you see the fire right now?"

She guessed right. Bella looked downcast, but nodded firmly.

"I want you to close your eyes," she continued. "Don't drive yourself crazy telling it to stop like you've been doing. Instead think of...think of your music. Think about flying with me. Picture us on our hammock in the sun..."

She waited, hopeful. _I believe in you, Bella. I believe in you._

Bella opened her eyes..

"What do you see?" She whispered.

The spark in her eyes told her everything she needed to know as it always had. The warmth of Bella's love went through her impenetrable skin and settled in her hollow chest.

"I see you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I have almost as much fun picking out music as I do writing. I hope you liked "Innana" as well of course as this chapter.
> 
> These chapters take a good 6-8 hours to write, not to mention the endless time I spend mulling over everything in my head. Please take a minute to leave some feedback. Constructive criticism, inquisitive questions, and analyses are highly appreciated! Until next time!


	51. Esme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
> 
> Author's note: Wow, I sure pissed a bunch of you off last chapter. I was surprised to see that some of you are still hoping Rosalie will leave Emmett. This is the one spoiler I don't mind sharing, mainly because I've said it repeatedly before. Rosalie is in love with Emmett. Rosalie is in love with Bella. That's not going to change. I get that this is radical but come on people...this is tame when you look at some of the crazy Twilight fanfics out there. So chill.

True to his word, Charlie started teaching Bella to drive as soon as she returned from the beach. Having a cop for a father had its benefits and Charlie managed to speed the process up for her when he saw how quickly she caught on. By the end of January (and with only a few minor scrapes to the already weathered truck) Bella had her intermediate driver's license. Wherever Bella was, the ancient truck was never far. Suffice it to say, Rosalie was less than pleased.

"It's not enough you're driving this hideous monstrosity," Rosalie huffed. "You're making me fix it too?"

Rosalie was bent over and half-hidden from the waist up. Her favorite coveralls were covered in grease as were parts of her face and hair. She glared at the clutch cycling pressure switch, the reason for her current state.

Bella chuckled from where she was lounged on the truck bed. "You're my girlfriend. And you're a mechanic. Isn't there some inherent rule that says you have to take care of my car?"

"I think that only applies to vehicles from, you know, _this century_ ," Rosalie replied.

"Tough," Bella retorted and stuck out her tongue. "Besides, we've been through this. You kick my truck, you fix it."

Rosalie glared at her half in annoyance and half in disbelief. Bella, the girl who, were it not for Alice dragging her to a store every once in awhile to get new clothes, would be content with her jeans and few t-shirts, had become absurdly attached to her truck. Rosalie would love nothing more than to pummel that thing to oblivion and get her a real car (one in which the clutch pressure cycle was made _after_ World War II)...but that was _very_ dangerous thinking. When Rosalie made the mistake of kicking the truck in frustration over its speed, Bella wouldn't talk to her for a whole day. If she hadn't immediately promised to fix it the girl might have actually blown up her favorite Mercedes in retaliation.

Rosalie went back to the mess beneath the hood and Bella went back to finishing her homework. A few minutes later, she heard Bella's phone vibrate. Judging by Bella's simultaneous excitement and caution, it was probably Charlie.

"Pizza again tonight," Bella whispered to herself with a smile. She jumped down and put her arms around Rosalie from behind.

"He's being so nice," she said quietly, voicing a constant worry of hers. "I'm afraid of getting used to it."

She took a towel and wiped off some of the grease from Rosalie's forehead as she spoke. Rosalie set her tools down and gently embraced the younger girl. All traces of irritation left her face as she took in the hope and insecurity in Bella's. She wanted to reassure her, but in all honesty her own suspicion and dislike for her father made that impossible.

"Well," she said as she played with a strand of Bella's hair. "All I know for sure is that you have a family right here. We love you no matter what."

She reached down and kissed her. Bella wrapped her arms around her waist and held her close. Her grip was tight, strong.

"What do you see?" She whispered through the kiss and Bella tensed in her embrace.

They paused but Rosalie stayed in place. Bella continued to grip her coveralls tightly and took a few deep breaths. Rosalie waited patiently. They've been through this so many times during the last month...

A few more long seconds and Bella opened her eyes. Bella looked at her lovingly and smiled softly. "I see you...kissing me awhile longer."

Rosalie smiled in relief and granted Bella's request. Bella stepped back so she was leaning on her truck and pulled Rosalie closer, who was only too happy to take a break from the devil machine in front of her. Kissing Bella had become something akin to a religious experience for her...and she took every opportunity to prove her faith. Bella's increasing arousal was pretty obvious for the vampire and she moaned in acquiescence when the girl's hands lowered and found the apex of her legs through her coveralls. One of the most surprising and pleasant outcomes from their trip to the beach with Bella was how much lower her inhibitions regarding Rosalie and Emmett had become. She wasn't yet comfortable going further than where they were now when they were in the Cullens' house...but a month ago Bella would never have permitted herself to get so frisky with Rosalie while the others were home. The sight of Rosalie and Emmett making love on the beach...and everyone's calm acceptance of the fact...was all the permission Bella needed to get past some of her inhibitions. Whatever the case, Rosalie certainly wasn't complaining.

"Not trying to cockblock you, Bells," Emmett shouted through the walls. "But you did promise to play this level with me!"

"Emmett!" Esme scolded.

Bella bit her lower lip and shyly glanced at Rosalie. "I did promise..."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I'll just keep working on your _other_ girlfriend here."

"Thanks, babe!" Bella grinned and ran out of the garage before Rosalie could throw something at her.

* * *

Days often passed as if they were hours for Vampires, and hours passed like minutes for Bella when she worked with Esme on one of her projects. Sketching room layouts did not soothe her as much as playing the piano but it was close. To create something instead of to destroy...it was a nice thing to think about. How many homes were gone because of her? How many cars and tents and trees? There was nothing she could do to bring those things back, let alone the lives that ended, but the symbolism made her feel a little better.

She prayed never to add to her list of debts.

The drawing before her was of a kitchen remodeling. New island, new materials, and a lot more sun. She paused to look more closely at the design she was trying for the backsplash. Red, orange, and yellow swirls wove up and down the wall. It looked almost alive. Strange...she remembered the client's request calling for blue.

Uh-oh.

"What do you see, Bella?" Esme asked from across the table. Bella looked up, making sure not to grimace at the flames covering the closest thing to a mother she had. Esme stared back, not unkindly, and gently raised an eyebrow indicating she understood. Bella closed her eyes and thought of trickling streams, floating on her back in the ocean, and the blue sky that surrounded her from every angle when she left the ground.

_I am not a monster._

She felt a hand on hers and looked up. Esme looked at her questioningly and Bella nodded back. Esme's beauty was unmarred once more and the flames had receded...for now.

"You're not a bad person, sweetheart."

Bella nodded again, slowly.

The older woman sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Bella...I've never told you how I died, have I?"

Bella's pencil stopped mid-track on the paper. She looked up and shook her head.

"Well, the 'how' is easy...I committed suicide," she said calmly.

That was...unexpected. Bella turned her head and stared, waiting to hear more. Or did she really want to?

"Most of my life was quite lovely actually," Esme reminisced. "I had a wonderful childhood. A wonderful family. I get on Emmett's case a lot with regard to his mischief but in truth, I was a lot like him as a girl." She smiled. "Worse, if you heard my mother complain."

Bella smiled too. She liked this picture of Esme...running around in a girl's dress with scraped knees, creating harmless havoc wherever she went.

"But then I married, and everything changed." Esme looked down but she couldn't hide the extent of her grief from Bella.

"Charles...right away I knew I was in trouble," she said. "The first time I cooked him a meal and he didn't like it, he smashed his plate...and my head against the wall. Drinking was the common problem for women like me back then, but Charles wasn't a drinker." She paused before continuing. "His cruelty...it was who he was."

Silence spread as she paused again. Bella was grateful that she didn't go into too much detail. She had read enough in her life to get a fairly descriptive picture of what Esme probably endured. And, though the ill-treatment of children from other children pales in comparison to abuse from someone who is supposed to love and protect you, Bella's shield against the world had enough cracks in it for her to understand.

"I ran when I found out I was pregnant," she said. "I had that much sense at least...enough to want to raise the baby in a better environment. It wasn't safe."

Bella clenched her fist so hard around her pencil she nearly pierced her skin with the pointy end. She hastily put it down in fear of drawing blood and watched it and the table in front of her turn to ash in her mind. A memory rushed to the forefront of her mind and she honestly couldn't tell what was worse, it or the flames that were overwhelming the room.

_Water, sky, Rosalie..._

"But fate was unkind to me," Esme said, sadly. "The boy died two days after his birth. It destroyed me. That child was all I had left and for him to be taken like that...when I had held him only once in my arms before he fell ill...I couldn't..."

Esme looked down. "When I left the hospital I went straight to this park I'd visited a few times. It was a beautiful, gentle place...except for the cliff. They probably have that fenced off now but they didn't back then. I was so scared. And sad. I had given up...and then...I jumped."

When Bella felt it was safe she finally looked up. Esme couldn't cry of course, but if one overlooked the lack of tears one would be hard pressed to confirm that.

"There was no chance of survival. They took me straight to the morgue-it was that bad. Carlisle was there and decided to turn me when he heard my heart still beating."

Bella waited, but Esme's story seemed to be at an end.

"Why," she cleared her throat. "Why are you telling me all of this?"

Esme snapped out of her memories and looked at her. "So you'd understand when I tell you that I've seen true evil, Bella. My first husband tortured me. Tortured me...and he loved every minute of it. He took pleasure in my pain...all, all forms of it. He never apologized and he never shed a tear in regret. He never felt remorse or tried to right his wrongs. I've lived more than a 100 years, Bella. There's still much that I don't know but I do know this: You are good. You are strong. You are one of my children. And you _will_ beat this."

* * *

The sun was high in the sky yet no warmth reached the earth. Charlie was right about winter in Forks; no matter how much sun managed to get through the semi-permanent cloud bank here, winter here was rough and cold. Ice creeped over everything in town and most people chose to stay indoors despite the weekend. Bella was really hoping she wouldn't run into anyone she knew at Newton's.

The store, newly renovated after last summer's fire, was unfortunately the only place in town to get decent floor mats for her truck. That was why she was here. And the bright sun that filtered down to touch her was why she was alone.

"Well, well, we're honored to have you here," Mike drawled into her ear.

Bella grinded her teeth but didn't react otherwise. She did, however, move so she was in sight of the woman at the cash register. That was Mike's mother, according to her name tag, and her son would not dare say or do anything inappropriate while under her gaze...or so Bella hoped.

She wasn't trying to protect herself...she could handle him. No, she was trying to keep him from doing something stupid and pissing her off. She was trying to protect _him_.

"I hate to break it to you," he continued. "There's nothing you can do to pretty up that pile of junk of yours. It's a lost cause."

He grinned. She maintained the distance between them and kept trying to dig through the racks until she found the right mats. Bingo. Quickly, she slid to the front and paid for her things, then made to leave. Mike had other ideas though.

Don't burn his balls off, she chanted to herself. Don't do it! Inside the vestibule, Mike grabbed her arm and firmly pushed her against the wall. Bella, for the first time since she walked into the store, looked him in the eye and glared.

"You have three seconds before I let you crawl back inside," she whispered. "One. Two."

"Hey what's going on here?"

They both turned to look at the intruder. A young but built man was standing just inside the doors. He glanced from Mike to Bella, then rested a cold look at Mike.

"Get your hands off of her, buddy," he said, warningly.

Mike glared at the boy. For a few seconds he looked like he was debating whether or not to start something with him but the boy's large muscles appeared to have knocked some sense into him for the first time that day. He finally let go of Bella's arm but she surprised them all when she grabbed his other arm herself.

"Hang on, Mike," Bella said in a fake sweet voice. "Three."

And then she kneed him, _hard_ , in the groin. Mike doubled over in pain, sputtering and cursing at her. Bella narrowed her eyes, stomped down hard on his foot and punched him in the face. All of them heard the bones in his nose break.

"Touch me again," she whispered. "And I'll put you on a stretcher."

Mike hobbled and, true to Bella's promise, crawled back inside.

She turned to leave.

"Holy shit!" The boy exclaimed, looking at her in wonder. "That was awesome! Scary as hell, but holy crap awesome!"

She raised her eyebrows and nodded her goodbye. He followed, still staring at her.

"Hey don't I get a thank you?" He grinned.

Bella gave him a funny look. "I believe I'm the one that bruised his manhood, not you."

"Yeah," he started and Belle grinned inwardly when she noticed him shuffling his feet and shielding his own manhood from her. "But thanks to my presence, there was a witness." He grinned again. "Now his shame is twofold!"

Bella snorted and shook her head. This kid was odd. She gave in and smiled a little, then heaved her purchases into the truck bed.

"Wait a sec," the boy looked at the truck in surprise. "You're Bella?"

She looked at him, surprised. This boy didn't go her school. She had never seen him before.

He smiled brightly, his widest grin yet. "I should've guessed," he chuckled. "I'm Jacob. Jacob Black."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun, dun.


	52. Jacob

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note I: I'm in shock...really I am in shock that nobody picked up on the nugget I left you last chapter! It's a pretty good clue too, and it's about something that's come up before that many of you noticed. Utterly shocked.
> 
> Author's note II: M fluffiness in the last scene. I gave myself a nosebleed.

Jacob Black turned out to be the mechanical wonder boy, or so that's how he put it, who took apart and refurbished her truck. Bella stood, somewhat amused as the Indian boy proceeded to pop the hood and admire his own work.

"Beautiful," he said, eyeing the engine wistfully. "That was my first top to bottom refurbishment."

What was this truck like _before_ he got his hands on it? Bella shuddered to think of it. Rosalie might have banned it from the Cullens' garage entirely.

"You did a very good job," Bella genuinely praised him. "Thank you."

"Anything for the Chief's family," he said. He suddenly looked bashful. "Say...you hungry? I was planning on grabbing something at the diner before I headed home."

"Um." Bella paused, her natural inclination for solitude pushing forward and telling her to say no. Other than the Cullens and Charlie, people who were this nice to her either had not-so-nice ulterior motives or ended up getting killed when she forgot her rules and reciprocated.

Declining would be the smart thing to do. But Jacob looked so hopeful and so _friendly_...and Bella had so few friends...that she found herself suddenly eager to get to know this boy who had rebuilt her beloved truck.

"I could eat," she replied with caution.

"Awesome!"

Before she knew it they were seated in the only diner in town, ordering food and making small talk.

"So how come you only just moved up here?" Jacob asked with a mouth full of fries. Bella politely looked down at her own plate so as not to stare.

"Well I was living with my aunt and she passed away," she answered.

"Must be weird living with a guy all of a sudden," he said. "Don't know how you're able to eat anything there...Charlie can't cook to save his own life."

"I get by," Bella smiled, thinking of Esme's cooking. She ate a few more bites as Jacob wolfed down the rest of his fries. How did Jacob know her father couldn't cook? It struck her then that this boy probably knew more of Charlie than she did. Her face must have betrayed how she felt because Jacob suddenly gave her a funny look.

"You ok?"

"Mmm," she put on what she hoped passed as a genuine smile. "How...how long have you known Charlie?"

"Gosh, forever," he looked amused. "Well, no...I guess since he moved back here. Like what, eight years ago? Yeah that's it. Him and my old man were buddies for a long time before that. Used to go fishing all the time together. I used to tag along before dad got sick."

So Jacob has known him for as long as Bella didn't. She wasn't sure how to interpret her feelings about that. Fire licked its way up his arms. Bella immediately stamped it down.

"Actually," he grinned. "I think I remember you!"

"Me?" She asked, perplexed. "I was 3 when we moved! How old are you?"

"15," he said evenly and crossed his arms.

"15," she repeated blankly, looking at his broad shoulders. "What do they feed you at home?" She mumbled.

"Bears, mountain lions," he said with a straight face. "But my favorite...little children...dipped in...chocolate pudding...and ICE CREAM!"

Bella stared at him, hiding a grin. "Well I don't have access to bears or lions. But this should help add a few ounces to your biceps."

She tossed him her pudding cup.

"Aww thanks!" Jacob opened it and finished the cup in about two gulps.

Bella chuckled and shook her head. Over the next few minutes they both finished their meals (Jacob finished at least two more) before resuming their conversation.

"How come you don't go to Forks high?" She asked him.

"I go to a more exclusive institution," he said with a smug grin. "Not just anybody can get into the reservation schools. Certainly not your pale tush!"

"Making assumptions, aren't you?"

"Well..." His eyes flicked over her chest clandestinely. It wasn't lost on Bella.

Oh good grief, she thought. Better nip that idea in the bud.

"My pale tush is perfectly happy in Forks," she smiled slyly. "My girlfriend keeps it pretty warm."

Jacob's own smile faltered slightly. "G-girlfriend?"

Bella nodded. Though she wore her smile with what she hoped was full confidence, inside she was nervous. She had never discussed her relationship with anyone outside the Cullen family. It's not like she had any other friends with whom she could gab and gush. Jacob was the first non-vampire Bella felt she could actually talk to and the feeling was...nice.

"Like... _girlfriend_ , girlfriend?"

She nodded again. Bella hoped her instincts about Jacob were correct.

"Hot!"

Bella barked out a laugh. She was right...Jacob was just like Emmett.

* * *

"Hey!" Bella yelled as she walked through the Cullens' door. Thanks to Jacob, she had the best afternoon (as good as it can get without her surrogate family anyway) she's had in a very long time. After Jacob got over the initial shock and twinge of disappointment that Bella was taken, he spent an hour grilling her on everything from how she and Rosalie met to, embarrassingly enough, what the sex was like. She could've gotten offended and huffed off indignantly but if she were honest with herself she enjoyed the conversation. It felt good to talk about Rosalie to someone impartial. And while Jacob's willingness to listen probably had a lot to do with his hormones, he did listen. By the time they parted Bella felt at ease enough to promise to meet up again soon and exchange phone numbers. She was even comfortable enough to give him a lift home to La Push.

"Hey Bells!" Emmett shouted as strolled over to greet her. "Missed you toda-oh shit."

The words were no sooner out of his mouth when the rest of the family suddenly appeared in the foyer.

Edward hissed. Rosalie's eyes were much darker than their usual hue. Alice and Jasper hung back but looked uneasy. Only Esme and Carlisle stepped forward calmly but they too, Bella could see, were apprehensive.

"What did you do?!" Rosalie asked venomously.

"What?" Bella asked, befuddled. "Nothing. What's the matter?"

"I think what she's trying to ask," Carlisle interjected, "is did you do anything interesting today? Meet any interesting people?"

Bella looked at him questioningly. "Er, yeah I guess."

She took a step forward. Rosalie flinched and backed away. Bella froze.

The hurt must have been quite evident on her face because Rosalie immediately looked very, very sorry. She rushed to the younger girl and cupped her face in her hands.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. Bella nodded though she noted how hard it appeared for Rosalie to maintain that neutral expression. Something was very wrong here.

"Can you please explain what's going on?" She asked. Bella's insecurities had leaped to the front seat of her mind and were feeding her countless terrible scenarios.

"It's...a vampire thing," Alice spoke up. The rest of the family, and Bella turned to stare at her. She continued on. "When a mate meets someone new or goes to a new location, the smell makes us...a little crazy."

Bella looked at her like she'd grown a second head. She quickly eyed the rest of the family and while their expressions remained unchanged, Bella knew them well enough to sense that something was...off.

"Ok..." she turned to Rosalie, who was going through so many facial expressions Bella could definitely believe she was becoming...crazy indeed. "I ran into the boy who put my truck together. He's a friend of Charlie's. We had lunch in town then I drove him home."

"And where exactly is his home?" Esme asked gently.

"La Push."

Silence. Rosalie exhaled, whatever battle she was fighting internally coming to an end.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," she said. "Why don't you join me, Bella."

Bella turned fifty shades of red. "What?" she stuttered. "Here?"

"Great idea!" Emmett exclaimed. Bella looked at him like he too had lost his mind. But the rest of the family were enthusiastically nodding their heads.

"Come on," Rosalie said briskly and practically dragged her upstairs.

* * *

"Nice save, Alice," Jasper whispered.

"This is just fantastic," Edward sneered. "Now she's gonna bring the wolves on our heads!"

"Calm down," Carlisle scolded his son. "That boy hasn't phased yet."

"You can tell?" Alice asked, curious.

"Yes," he sighed. "The smell would be much worse if he had."

"Great," Emmett sighed. "You're not gonna let us warn her are you?"

"We can't," Esme said regretfully. "The treaty is explicit in this regard. We cannot reveal the pack's existence to humans and they cannot reveal ours to anyone outside their pack."

"Screw the treaty!" Emmett nearly shouted, catching himself before he did so Bella wouldn't hear from upstairs. "She hangs out with a baby soon-to-be wolf man then she's in danger."

"She's in danger hanging out with us too," said Carlisle. "I'm sorry Emmett, but that treaty is what's allowing us to stay here without trouble. I won't have us go back on our word."

"She's going to figure it out eventually," Alice interrupted. They all turned to look at her. "No, I haven't seen it," she added. "But Bella's a smart girl. If she can figure out our secret she can certainly deduce theirs."

"And the problems just keep piling up," Edward mumbled. "A human who knows our existence, who has a power that, should the Volturi discover it, will get us all killed, and who now also might start a war with the local shape-shifters."

"Edward, shut up," Alice and Jasper grumbled simultaneously.

Esme tisked at her children.

"Any chance you can install a shower outside the front door?" Emmett asked Esme. It was in jest of course but part of him kind of meant it. That smell made his skin crawl.

"And explain it to Bella, how?" She asked. She ran into the kitchen and came back again a second later.

"Here," she tossed him, and her husband and children each a can of Febreze. "See if these will work on the truck. I'll go wash her clothes."

* * *

Jacob was literally rolling on the floor, laughing.

"And they just stood there, gaping at you?" He exclaimed. "After you basically told them they had tiny dicks and didn't know what to do with them?"

Bella laughed too. In retrospect the circumstances that led her to meet Rosalie were pretty bizarre but it was the truth.

"Wait, wait, how's a guy like a snowstorm again?" Jacob asked gleefully.

"You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long he'll stay," Bella grinned proudly.

"That's priceless," Jacob wiped a tear from his eyes. "So she was the damsel in distress and you came to her rescue?"

Bella snorted. "You call her a 'damsel' to her face she'll probably punch you. I mean it. She's the one that made them run off with their tails between their legs, not me. She's kind of an expert in the death glare."

She recalled all of this fondly. She had no idea then how important that night would be for her. Everything, everything changed. Bella found a family, friendship, love, and a support system that had helped her and was still helping her get through her...issues.

Bella's emotion's must have shown clearly on her face because Jacob grew quiet as he watched her, then said, "you're really in love with her, huh?"

She smiled and nodded.

"Well who can blame you?" He grinned and ducked the light punch Bella threw his way. "Come on, she's hot!"

"What was I thinking, showing you her picture?" Bella mumbled, but secretly she grinned too. Rosalie was a goddess...no point denying that. "Just do me a favor and don't gawk at her if you ever meet her. Or you'll have me to answer to!"

"Yes ma'am," he replied, and she could tell he meant it.

He grew quiet again as he chewed on the last of his burgers. Bella was long finished with hers and she leaned back to admire this quiet, clean little beach she had no idea existed so close to home. Why didn't she, Rosalie and Emmett come here for their vacation? Probably because they'd never let her out of the shower if they had, she thought, rolling her eyes. It was comical at first, but now it was just irritating how they made her take a shower whenever she spent time with Jacob or in La Push. Rosalie's 'vampire thing' was showing no signs of ebbing.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Jacob asked quietly.

"I'm not giving you details about my sex life," Bella narrowed her eyes.

"So you do have a sex life?" Jacob smiled slyly and Bella punched him again. "Seriously, it's not about that."

"What's up?"

"How come you didn't live with your dad all these years?"

Bella wished she had food left so she could pretend to chew on it as she thought of an answer. Instead she blurted out the first thing that popped into her mind.

"I was kind of a mess when Mom died," she said. "I couldn't deal with other people...and Charlie wasn't able to help me...so he thought it best we split up for a while."

"I don't blame him," she quickly added when she saw how unconvinced Jacob looked. "My aunt was really nice."

"Sorry, Bells," he apologized. "I know he's your dad and all, and he's always been good to me...but that was pretty stupid of him. You lost your mom for crying out loud. Then you had to go and lose your dad too."

Bella sighed. Take out the fire and things looked so simple. Put it back into the equation though...

"It really wasn't all that bad," she whispered.

"My mom died when I was 11," he said, looking down. "It was hard enough without Billy sending me away across the country. Sorry, but if that were me I'd have gone loco. I don't know how you managed."

In an effort to take the focus off of her and Charlie, she asked, "what happened with your mom? If..if you don't mind my asking..."

He shrugged. "Car accident. Pretty bad. Closed coffin and all."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

He shrugged again. "Shit happens, I guess."

Her phone rang. It was Alice.

"Hi Alice," she responded. Her voice was neutral but she had a sinking feeling she knew what this conversation would be about.

"Bella! Hi! I miss you! Can you stop by the house when you leave? When are you leaving by the way?"

Bella sighed. Time to use the agreed-upon code. "Is this about the bunny rabbit?"

The bunny was Rosalie, or to be more specific, crazy, possessive Vampire Rosalie.

"Yup! She's getting kinda antsy."

"'Kinda antsy?' Jasper muttered nearby. "She punched a hole in the wall..."

"Can't Carlisle give her a tranquilizer or something?" Bella grinned.

Jacob was giving her the queerest looks. "My bunny misses me when I'm gone," she whispered to him. "Goes bat crap crazy actually."

Chuckles reverberated over the phone. Several of them.

"We did everything we could," said Alice. "She just misses her human. So...when are you coming home?"

She sighed. "An hour or so. I trust Emmett can keep her entertained for a while?"

"Oh he tried," Alice's grin was clear even over the phone. "She bit him."

* * *

Bella smiled, content and very happy as Rosalie continued to massage the shampoo into her scalp. The reason for her exponential rise in need for showers was ridiculous, Bella still thought, but she couldn't deny that she enjoyed the silver lining...a lot of showers with Rosalie. The shower stall in the shed was tiny compared to the one in Rosalie's bathroom, but there were added benefits to being here that Bella just wasn't ready to experience at the Cullens' house.

She turned around and wiped some suds off of Rosalie's nose before kissing her softly.

"I could get used to this," she whispered. She moved the loofah across Rosalie's back as she sprinkled lingering kisses on her collarbone. Bella's kisses became more heated but Rosalie continued to wash her hair, this time wringing out what was left of the conditioner.

"We're supposed to be getting clean," Rosalie said with smile. "Not dirty."

Bella smirked. She could play this game with her any day of the week, but it was more fun sometimes to dish things out quietly to Rosalie. So she said nothing and continued to lather and be lathered up by her girlfriend, enjoying the simple beauty of running their hands gently all over each others' bodies. This stall was so small but it made everything that much more...intimate.

She gently held her by the back of the neck and moved up to kiss her. Their lips connected for one tiny millisecond before Bella pulled back to add more lotion to her hands. Bella paid particular attention to soaping up Rosalie's breasts, especially the hard (and getting harder) protruding buds. After rinsing them off, Bella once again kissed her way down to each nipple...and once again pulled back after the briefest of connections with her tongue.

Bella thought she saw a tiny scowl on Rosalie's face. "Just making sure you're totally clean," Bella whispered, keeping her expression clear.

Outwardly, Rosalie calmly rinsed off her girlfriend. Inside, Bella knew, was a whole other story. Months of this had taught her exactly how to push Rosalie's buttons.

"Turn around," she said. "There's still some soap on your back."

Rosalie turned around and only then did Bella's face morph into a grin. _You're mine now._

There was no remaining soap on either of their bodies. Rosalie probably already knew this as well but just as Bella found it impossible to resist the vampire, so too did the vampire find it impossible to resist her human.

Bella, ever so gently, placed her hands on Rosalie's hips and pulled her girlfriend to her until her back was pressed securely against Bella's breasts. Bella kissed Rosalie's neck and shoulders lovingly, tenderly...and roughly thrust her hips forward.

Rosalie gasped. Bella still said nothing. She leaned her upper body against the tiles of the wall but kept one leg propped up on the wall across from her. Her hands guided Rosalie back to her former position...only this time with the way Bella stood, she was able to slowly and oh so sensually rub her mound directly on Rosalie's backside.

If Rosalie could breathe, Bella was sure she would've stopped by now. But even without the tell-tale human signs of arousal, Bella knew exactly what was happening to Rosalie's body. She twisted herself back and forth against Rosalie, gripping, watching, listening, as the blonde slowly gyrated her bottom against Bella.

"Are you as wet as I am?" Bella whispered in her ear. "Hmm?" She gently licked the back of her ear as she hugged her closer. Her arm extended around the blonde and felt in between her legs.

"You are..." Bella breathed. "My god, you are..."

Bella dipped her fingers through Rosalie's folds, smiling victoriously when she heard her moan. She twisted one of Rosalie's arms back, knowing it wouldn't hurt her, and guided it to her own center.

She moaned in bliss when Rosalie's fingers slid easily inside her. Bella immediately thrust her whole body down hard. Again. And again. And again. Before she knew it she had gotten lost in the moment...and that's when Rosalie struck back.

Rosalie abruptly pulled back and turned them around, pinning the younger girl against the glass door. She growled, loudly, and when Bella looked into her eyes she saw that they were dark with passion and something else.

"Rose?" Bella's worry eased when Rosalie kissed her gently on the lips. She was still in control. But she was also, Bella gulped, in a dangerous, rough kind of mood. Maybe Bella had hit her head earlier or something because she found herself getting more excited the more she glared back at Rosalie.

The only sound in the shed was the water still coming down on top of both of them. But gradually, Bella's heart and breathing grew louder and louder. Rosalie still hadn't moved. She still hadn't said a word. She still held Bella against the glass and her eyes _still_ bore deep into Bella's, unwavering and relentless in their intensity.

Bella knew she lost this little battle for dominance the second she saw Rosalie's eyes. She was no match against those eyes that could instantly produce a river between her legs. Oh well. To the victor belong the spoils.

She managed to untangle her hands from behind her back and cupped Rosalie's cheeks as she inched her head forward.

"You win," Bella whispered. Then in a louder, clearer voice she said, "now fuck me."

It's a good thing she had leaned in before she spoke because if she hadn't she would've certainly gotten a concussion with how hard Rosalie slammed her back against the wall. Her frailty was the last thing on her mind though.

Bella's eyes rolled into the back of her head, literally, and her body went rigid and limp at the same time as Rosalie pounded into her with what she had to assume was her entire fist. Her moans and groans echoed in the small stall and filled the rest of the shed. This was bordering on painful. It was bordering on highly dangerous. But it was also insane and sensual and sexual and Bella _loved_ it. She had never seen Rosalie like this, and as dangerous as she knew this was, she knew she was also massively turned on by it.

"Oh my god, Rose!" Bella screamed. "Yes, fuck yes!"

Bella wrapped her arms and legs around the blonde, letting the crazed vampire support her weight. She yanked Rosalie's hair back so she could see her face. Bella's sweat seemed to overpower the water still raining down on them...the heat emanating from her skin contributing more to the steam building up on the glass than the hot water.

She almost surprised herself when she came. The build up and climax happened nearly simultaneously. Rosalie didn't stop. If anything she moved faster. Again, she felt herself climb over the edge. Again, she screamed in pleasure and release as she bucked uncontrollably. Again, Rosalie continued. By the fourth time Bella's ardent grunts were flowing continuously out of her mouth because it felt like there were no beginnings or endings, no telling where Rosalie started and Bella finished. One more time, Bella felt it start deep within her, another big one.

"Rose," she groaned. "Rose, slow down."

Surprised that that was all it took, Bella sighed in relief when Rosalie complied and touched her gently. Bella still held her tightly, still wrapped herself around her, and she threw her head back and gave in completely to the things Rosalie was making her feel. The wince escaped her lips before she could stop it.

"Did I hurt you?" It was the first time Rosalie had spoken. "Oh god, I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

Bella smiled weakly, happily. "Believe me it's the good kind of hurt," she reassured her. She winked. "If you want to kiss it better I won't stop you though."

Rosalie looked at her, the guilt still clear on her face. "Please don't feel bad," Bella whispered and kissed her. "I enjoyed that. A lot, if you couldn't tell."

The blonde nodded slowly, kissed both of her palms, and gently moved down Bella's body until she fell to her knees. Bella sighed as she felt her mouth on her, and she used the rest of her strength to spread her legs as widely as she could and still be able to stand. As rough as Rosalie had been, that's how sweetly and gently she treated Bella now as her lips and tongue and breath brought her pleasure. Rosalie captured her bundle of nerves between her lips, and the jolt had Bella moaning again and grabbing at Rosalie's hair. It took twice as long to reach her fifth orgasm of the day as it had for the previous frantic four combined, but when it finally hit and Bella looked down to see Rosalie watching her, it was that much sweeter.

Bella finally stopped screaming and held her arms out for Rosalie. They held each other while Bella recovered.

"Next time," Bella panted, "let me reciprocate before you wear me out."

Rosalie didn't respond. Instead she tilted her head to look out to the rest of the shed...and she froze.

"Shit," she whispered.

Bella followed her gaze, which was hard because the glass was pretty foggy and she didn't have vampire eyes. But once her eyes adjusted, there was no mistaking it.

"Shit," Bella agreed, horrorstruck.

Charlie stood in front of the shed's open door, frozen and agape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun. Another cliffhanger?! Ack, Darcy!
> 
> Author's note III: Longest bloody chapter yet. So what do you think of my Jacob? How the Cullens are handling it so far? Rosalie (sigh, oh Rosalie)? There's a little more to this scene than meets the eye. You'll see what I mean in my next Rosalie pov.
> 
> Author's note IV: Because I know some people might bring it up as proof that "the relationship won't work!"...Bella doesn't tell Jacob about Emmett also being with Rosalie not because she's embarrassed or possessive or anything like that. She's simply being smart. She knows that this type of relationship is not usually accepted and she won't put herself in a situation she can't back out of until she feels she can trust the person she's talking to, in this case Jacob. It's "coming out" essentially, except with something much more taboo than homosexuality. Gots to trust before she talks.


	53. Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note I: Holy crap on a cracker, an update in TWO days? What can I say, I took pity on all of you. That was quite an evil cliffhanger. And you were also very, very good readers and left me many reviews...see what happens when you're good? :)

It took five seconds for Charlie's feet to thaw from where they had frozen to swiftly turn around and leave the shed. He almost tripped over his own shoes a few times as he walked blindingly back to his house. Halfway across the yard, he heard Bella call his name.

"Charlie, wait!"

That was the last thing he wanted to do. He'd prefer to get dressed in his uniform, get in his car and go to work. There were bad guys to be caught. Traffic tickets to hand out. Those things he could handle with ease. The most unpredictable day at work would be far more relaxing than whatever words he and Bella exchanged right now.

Bella caught up with him and he had no choice but to turn around. She was wearing clothes, thank god.

He waited for her to speak. His face was so red he feared if he opened his mouth hot smoke would rush out. She too looked just as flushed.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out.

"Me too," she said quietly.

"I didn't mean to barge in like that," he mumbled. "I heard...noises. I thought you might be hurt."

Both of their faces took on a deeper shade of red. Noises...yeah, sure, he scoffed at himself. But he wasn't going to embarrass himself or the girl in front of him by elaborating on just how much screaming he heard. From his own kitchen, no less. It's a good thing they didn't have any close neighbors.

He chanced a look back at her and saw that she was looking down at her feet. Charlie had never given an ounce of thought to...well, to _teenage_ issues such as the one that he was now facing. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Yell at her about how inappropriate this all was? Tell her she was too young for sex? Obviously it was a little late for the Talk. He frowned. What was he thinking? Charlie was a lousy excuse for a father and he knew it. What right did he have to act like one now? Just because he was extremely uncomfortable with what he saw didn't make it ok to start laying down rules like a good father would. Besides, he had promised her when she first moved here that he wouldn't interfere with her life as long as she was safe.

Bella spoke up, probably perplexed with his silence. "Do you...ah, do you have any questions for me?"

Did he have questions for her? Jesus, could he open his mouth without stammering in awkwardness? That was the real question...

"So," he shuffled his feet. "You...like girls?"

Just kill me now, he thought.

"I like Rosalie," she said quietly. "I love her."

"Rosalie...Carlisle and Esme's kid?"

She nodded. "Do they know about this?"

She nodded again.

Charlie looked back towards the shed where the girl, Rosalie, probably still remained.

"Bella," he whispered. "Is it safe?"

From the look on her face he knew she understood he wasn't talking about safe sex. Just the thought of that word though brought back images he really wished he could erase from his mind, and he blushed profusely. Bella sure knew how to pick 'em, he thought with just a small hint of pride.

"Yes," she stated firmly. "Absolutely. We've...we've been together since last summer."

He nodded, surprised. Could he go now? Did he fulfill whatever fatherly duties he was supposed to perform? His radio crackled to life and he immediately reached for it, relieved for a distraction.

"10-70 at 274 Main Street. Available officer requested on premises. Over."

Automatically Charlie's voice changed to reflect his authority. "Copy that. 10 minutes ETA. Over."

"I have to go," he turned back to her.

"Ok," she said and watched him walk the rest of the way to the house. Before he fully stepped inside she shouted, "hey what's 10-70?"

He hesitated. "Fire alarm," he shouted back.

* * *

The woods sped by at lightning speeds as Rosalie pounced on the fleeing deer. Snarling, she swiftly broke the animal's neck and drank her fill. The burning in her throat sated only slightly. Despite the less than palatable taste of the deer's blood she knew she'd have to keep hunting. Another three deer fell before she finally felt safe enough to stop. She stood still in the middle of the forest. Her eyes were once again their normal golden hue but they burned with anger and worry.

Bella's scent was getting harder for her to endure. More and more frequently she caught herself eying the girl's neck in her sleep and licking her lips. Wanting and hoping to turn her one day was one thing...this, however, was an intense _need_...it was something without thought or logic. And it was happening _all_ the goddamn time. Rosalie didn't stay to help Bella face her father not because she didn't want to but because she couldn't. Her reserve of control had been depleted by the time Charlie stumbled in on them. She would never admit this to Bella but Rosalie was actually grateful for the man walking in on them when he did. Five more minutes in the shower with Bella and she didn't know what might have happened.

And that business in the shower...

She tore apart the tree closest to her in anger. She had put Bella's life in danger. Bella might have a kinky side that enjoyed the experience, but there was no doubt that what they had done...what _she_ had done to her could've killed her. It scared Rosalie out of her wits that the thought hadn't occurred to her at the time. Why did it feel like her rational mind wasn't always present with her anymore?

She took her phone out of her pocket and dialed. There was only one person who could help her with this.

"Hello," the voice on the other end greeted.

"Tanya," said Rosalie. "I need your help."

"Well hi to you too, Blondie," Tanya chuckled. "How can your favorite succubus be of service?"

"It's Bella."

Tanya's voice immediately changed to match Rosalie's seriousness. "Is she alright?"

"Yes, but...I'm not."

Rosalie explained her predicament, leaving nothing out. Tanya and her sisters have long been close friends and she trusted them implicitly.

"To be honest I'm not exactly surprised," Tanya admitted. "In fact I'm more surprised this hasn't happened sooner."

"What do I do?" Rosalie pleaded.

"Turn her," Tanya stated calmly. "That's the only thing you _can_ do."

Rosalie balked. "I can't! We-we're not there yet, Tanya. We've never had that discussion. And...and I'm not ready."

Tanya was silent for a few moments. "You are planning for this though, right? This is not something that should be put off..."

"Yes," Rosalie sighed. This is not how she wanted this conversation to go. "She's still so young...This isn't the time for it."

Tanya sighed. "Rosalie, I honestly don't have any answers for you. None of us have maintained an intimate relationship with a human for as long as you have with her. What you're experiencing sounds like what any vampire experiences with their mate. Your vampire wants to claim her, mark her as yours. You haven't been able to really do that because she's human and that would kill her. And now that she's interacting with the shape-shifters, that need is much, much more powerful. I'm sorry sweetie, I know this isn't what you wanted to hear but it's only going to keep getting worse."

Tears of frustration threatened to wash down her face though of course they never would. "How can I keep her safe?" She whispered.

"Turning her is the only sure way," she replied, then paused. "Leaving her would also help."

Rosalie snarled and almost crushed the phone in her hand. "Not. Possible," she growled.

"I know," Tanya said gently. "But you need to understand that those are the only options that keep her from danger...at least, danger from you."

Rosalie punched another tree with her free hand and sent it crashing to the ground.

"Rose, wait." Tanya sighed. "Hunt more. It might help for a while. Hunt as often as you can even if you're not thirsty. That's all I can think of."

She nodded, then remembered Tanya couldn't see her and voiced her understanding.

"And Rose, you have to talk to her," Tanya said quietly. "Soon. Don't...don't make assumptions."

* * *

Bella and Jacob walked out of the arcade and down the beach together. This was definitely becoming a favorite haunt of theirs. There weren't too many places to hang out in Forks, and frankly Bella preferred La Push since it minimized the chances of running into kids from her school. Nothing noteworthy had occurred but Mike, Jessica and Lauren's inaction was beginning to worry her. She had a very bad feeling the three were plotting something and she'd rather nothing go down in Jacob's presence. It would certainly put her in a foul mood.

"So let me get this straight," Jacob grinned. "You were getting it on with your girl in the shower."

"Uh huh."

"Then your dad walks in on you."

"Uh huh."

"He runs off. You run after him."

"Yup."

"Shit, Bella," he laughed. "You got balls of steel!"

Bella grinned too. That incident could've gone a lot worse than it had. Even so, it's been a week and Charlie still couldn't face her. Or was it the other way around?

"How did he take it?" Jacob asked.

"Oh, you know Charlie," she said. A lot better than I do, she mentally added. "He's probably just relieved he doesn't have to worry about a pregnancy."

He looked at her seriously. "Well...if he's not cool with it and you ever need a place to crash or something, you know you can always call me."

Bella smiled softly and he smiled back. "Thanks, Jake. I appreciate that. But I don't think I have to worry about that. Besides, the Cullens have a pretty big house."

Jacob's smile faltered and so did his step. "The Cullens?"

"Yeah..." Bella gave him a funny look. "Dude, keep walking."

He ignored her. "Wait, what do the Cullens have to do with any of this?"

"Well I am dating their daughter..." Bella was really concerned now. "What's wrong with you?"

"I thought her last name was Hale."

"It is. She didn't change it when she got adopted," she replied. "Can you snap out of whatever you're on and tell me what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he muttered. "Really! It's a load of crap. Just scary stories our parents like to tell us so we eat our vegetables."

"What stories?" She had a bad feeling about this.

"Legends. Myths. Really, it's not a big deal," he insisted. But Bella stared him down and he gave in. "Quileutes believe in magic and pretty fantastic things. We have stories about all kinds of creatures. We call one of them the 'cold ones.'"

Bella's heart took a dive south. Outwardly, her face expressed only mild curiosity and interest.

"Go on," she said.

"The cold ones are supposed to be the tribe's greatest enemy. A long time ago, so the stories say anyway, the cold ones attacked our villages and killed a lot of people before we figured out how to fight them off."

"And how did you do that?" She asked blankly.

"The tribe believes in animal spirits. We've always identified strongly with the wolf you see, so the legends say that the spirit of the wolf took pity on our ancestors and gave them the power of the wolf to fight back. That's how we drove the cold ones away."

Bella kept walking, the gears in her mind working. "So...cold ones...are they just cold? What makes them so bad?"

Please be wrong, please be wrong, she begged.

Jacob at least had the decency to look abashed. "They're bloodsuckers. You know...vampires."

Bella chuckled. "Wow."

"Yeah, I know," Jacob laughed too. "Nobody really believes that stuff. It's just an old legend that gets passed down cause, you know, that's what you do with old legends."

"Hey, no judgement," she said. "But I don't get the connection to the Cullens."

Poor Jacob's discomfort was abundantly clear. Bella felt a little better that he obviously didn't believe this stuff and was embarrassed by it, but not by much.

"It's really silly, Bells," he apologized. "Just a stupid legend...the story says the Cullens are one of those...cold ones. They came here a long time ago but because they promised not to kill people, the tribe made a treaty with them."

Bella stared at him, making sure to put on her best 'what the fuck' mask.

"Come on," he looked smiled shyly. "You said you wouldn't judge."

She nodded. "You're right. No judgements. But I'll have you know," she said with a sly grin. "Rosalie's body is smokin' hot, not cold. And the only thing I get when she bites me is a lot of hickies."

Jacob laughed loudly. "Thanks for clearing that up."

Suddenly, both of their phones started ringing. They looked at each other in surprise. Weird.

It was Charlie calling for Bella. And based on the snippets she heard from Jacob, his father was on the line with him.

"Hi Bella," he started. Jesus, she could practically feel him blushing. "My friend Billy Black invited me over for dinner tonight. Billy's son Jacob is the one that built your truck. Would you, ah, like to come along?"

Wow. She wasn't sure what was more shocking today...Jacob's tribe knowing the Cullens were vampires or her father inviting her to dinner with other people.

She glanced at Jacob and could see he was getting the same news. "Sure, Charlie," she said. "Um, I probably should've mentioned sooner. I've already met Jacob...in fact I'm with him right now."

"Oh. Ok. Um, I guess I'll meet you there then. You know where to go?"

"Jacob will show me," she said and they hung up.

Jacob grinned when he too hung up with his father. "Cool! I can show you my workshop!"

She laughed. "Just let me call Rosalie real quick."

Her plan to confront her about the Quileutes would have to wait. But she had to at least give her a heads up that she'd be here for the rest of the evening or she really would turn a 'cold one' and start killing people.

* * *

Billy Black appeared to be an older, wheelchair-bound version of his son. But as Bella shook his hand and made small talk with him, it was clear that this man had a lot of dignity and pride in his family and tribe.

"Dad's one of the tribe elders," Jacob had whispered to her. "He takes it pretty seriously."

Does that mean he takes the 'Cold Ones' seriously too? She got her answer halfway through dinner.

"Old Stevens got himself drunk and set his shop on fire today," Charlie sighed. "Poor sop."

"Is he ok?" Bella asked quietly.

"He'll be fine," Charlie chewed on his fish. "Carlisle patched him up real well."

Bella immediately rested her gaze on Billy, just in time to see him narrow his eyes and look disgusted. Jacob had looked at his father too before turning to Bella and shrugging. 'Sorry,' he mouthed.

"They don't have other doctors at that hospital?" Billy asked rigidly.

"None better than Carlisle," Charlie replied smoothly. "Really, Billy. The Cullens are good people."

The man said nothing and continued to eat his meal. "Since when are you on first name basis with Carlisle?" He asked. A six-year-old would be able to hear the dripping sarcasm and enmity in his voice.

"Since he and Esme practically adopted Bella here," Charlie said with pride. Bella's heart sank in her chest. She had hoped this wouldn't come up. She needed to observe and look out for anything that could harm the Cullens, not worry about what Billy observed in her. "That whole family has been wonderful to my daughter, and I won't take any nonsense prejudice against them."

Under different circumstances, Bella's heart would glow after hearing Charlie refer to her as 'his daughter.' Another first for this day, she thought. But she had kept her eye on Billy through her father's speech. The man was now giving her a measured, calculating look. He was waiting for her to say something, she realized.

"I sit with their kids at lunch sometimes," she said casually. "They're really nice."

She gave Charlie a meaningful look before she took her next bite and hoped he'd get the message. Don't tell him about Rosalie, she silently pleaded. The would tell Billy far too much about what she might know. As it is, her simple admission to eating lunch with the kids might have been too much information, she slowly realized. If the man before her was as unsure as Jacob was about the stories, her implying they ate like normal people would put him at ease. But that didn't appear to be the case, she thought with a sinking feeling. Billy Black _knows_ what the Cullens are. Which means he knows she's not being entirely honest. Fuck. The table, the walls, and especially Billy started melting before her eyes.

_Calm down. Think of the beach. The sand. Jacob._

"Hey Charlie," Jacob interjected excitedly and changing the subject much to Bella's relief. "Is it ok if I teach Bella how to ride a motorcycle?"

"Huh? Oh, ah," Charlie looked at her and she smiled softly. "Sure."

Dinner came to an end, Bella having managed to avoid Billy's piercing stare for the remainder of it. On her way to Jacob's room she heard Billy asking her father, "You're really ok with her getting on a motorcycle?"

"You're fine with Jacob doing the same," Charlie replied. Again she heard a hint of that foreign sounding pride in his voice. "Bella's got a good head on her shoulders. I trust her to be safe."

Bella thought her heart would burst with happiness.

Jacob snorted. "I can't believe he's so cool with you after everything," he whispered to her in the hallway.

Tell me about it, she thought, though they were obviously thinking of two very different things.

The hallway, like the rest of the small house, was lined with pictures on the wall. Here without any distractions, she paid closer attention to the photographs.

"Nice cornrows," she snorted, much to Jacob's embarrassment.

The biggest picture on the wall was obviously a family portrait. Jacob and Billy were wearing fancy and uncomfortable looking suits. The two teenage girls on either side of Jacob, his sisters she presumed, were also dressed to the nines but they looked a lot happier in their sundresses. Bella's eyes moved over the woman standing by Billy, Jacob's mother.

She froze in her tracks.

Everything, _everything_ stopped. Her annoyance with Billy. Her happiness with Charlie. She stared in disbelief at the woman in the photograph, and like she'd read about the Mona Lisa, the woman stared right back at her.

_This cannot be happening._

Jacob noticed her absence and came to stand by her. He too looked up at the picture.

"Is that your mom?" Her voice was blank and lifeless.

"Yea," he replied quietly.

"She's beautiful. What was her name?"

"Sarah," he answered.

Sarah...she would never have made the connection without that picture. She never learned Sarah's last name before...had no idea that the boy she'd befriended and come to love like a brother was her son.

_This cannot be happening._

Sarah Black. Billy's wife...Jacob's mother...Bella's victim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you I had different plans for Jacob. I really am putting Bella through the wringer, aren't I? Poor kid.


	54. 508

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Sorry this up after 9 days instead of the marathon 7 or fewer I've been accomplishing over the last 3 months. I had to teach two classes this week and prep work takes a lot of time (by the way, if you know a teacher please go give them a hug. That shit is hard).
> 
> Author's note II: I listened to "Kadjiro and Grace" by Armand Amar and "Figlia del cielo" by Roberto Cacciapaglia while writing this...better suited to the 2nd half though.

Alice whooped with joy when she sent Emmett's, or rather his avatar's ass flying across the screen.

"I thought you were a pro at this?" She leered, playfully. "Mister undefeated warlord and all?"

"You cheated and you know it," grumbled Emmett.

"Did not!" She protested indignantly. "Jasper, tell him I didn't cheat."

Jasper barely moved an inch from his place beside Rosalie. "Kinda busy here hon," he mumbled. Trying to keep Rosalie calm for more than a few minutes took just about every ounce of skill he had with his gift.

"See?" Alice stuck out her tongue at her giant of a brother. "I didn't..."

Her eyes glazed over, a tell-tale sign of an impending vision. Next to her, Emmett grumbled again about psychic cheaters and his poor, now defeated warlord. He turned to grumble loudly at her some more but the look on her face stopped him cold.

"What is it?" He whispered, worried.

"It's-"

Rosalie's phone rang.

"-Bella."

Alice didn't wait for Rosalie to finish the call with Bella before she called Esme and Carlisle downstairs.

"She needs us," she answered Jasper's unspoken question.

"Edward, no." Alice turned to the boy who had come down the stairs following Esme and Carlisle. "You'll only upset her more."

Edward rolled his eyes and held out his hands in mock surrender. "Fine. Wouldn't want to damage our precious human."

He turned around and walked back up the stairs, though not before exchanging a poisonous glare with Rosalie, who was no doubt yelling obscenities at him in her mind as she had whenever their paths crossed over the last month.

"What's wrong?" Esme asked Rosalie softly.

"She wouldn't say," Rosalie replied, clearly upset. They all turned to Alice.

Alice swallowed. Sometimes she really hated this stupid gift of hers. It was bad enough having to put up with seeing the limitless paths decisions lead to...but to also have to play the role of a real live spoiler alert had to have been someone's idea of a sick joke. Thank god she had the wits to draw the line in the sand when she needed to.

"She'll tell us soon enough," she insisted quietly, marking her line. "Let's go."

* * *

Bella sat against a huge boulder and waited. It was quiet here on top of the cliffs...just the occasional nocturnal bird and the moan of a gentle breeze, but none of that found a way to Bella's ears. The only sound her mind could comprehend right now was the beating of her own heart.

* * *

Against all odds, she had managed to get through the rest of the evening at Jacob's house without breaking down or acting suspiciously. After spending a few minutes looking through his comic books, Jacob took her to his workshop. There, they spend the rest of their time tinkering with the old motorcycle he had salvaged recently.

"I'm gonna keep checking that yard...see if another one shows up. Then we can ride together!" He exclaimed happily.

Bella's voice remained light as she steered the conversation to keep him talking. "How'd you learn so much about cars and motorcycles anyway?"

He shrugged. "Walk around the rez and you'll see that most of the cars here are pretty old. Easy to learn when things break down all the time."

Bella had spent countless hours helping Rosalie in her garage, often with car parts lying around without any problems. This time was different. She squatted, handing Jake the tool he requested and tried not to let the engine parts strewn all over the floor take her back to a place to which she had no desire to go. Jacob said it was a closed coffin funeral. Bella wasn't surprised. The accident she caused...the state of Sarah's car...her body. She shuddered and closed her eyes. _Don't go there right now_ , she reminded herself. _You can't do this alone. Not anymore_.

"Sorry about my dad," Jacob apologized sheepishly. "He can get pretty riled up about the Cullens."

"It's ok," she said. "As long as he doesn't try to actually hurt them, I guess..."

"Nah," Jacob laughed. "He's nuts but not that nuts. All he's managed to do so far is get our people to boycott the hospital."

"Shame," she replied. It was getting harder to keep up this unaffected facade. She needed to leave. Soon. "Carlisle is an amazing doctor."

 _And he's never done anything to harm any of you_ , she thought. _Not like me_.

She didn't have to wait for much longer, thank god, before Charlie called her name to announce the end of their visit. Charlie and Billy came out of the house together and, though they shook hands and exchanged friendly goodbyes, both men exuded tension. What did they talk about? Did Billy press on about the Cullens?

"Don't go till you see the motorcycle. Your daughter's going to be learning on it after all. Jake!" Billy called to his son. "Show Charlie your bike."

Charlie sighed in exasperation though he covered it up quickly. He and Jacob exchanged an amused look before walking into the workshop together. A twinge of jealousy overtook Bella for a moment before she stamped it down. Charlie had put his arm around Jacob's broad shoulders as they walked. He had never touched her, not once since she moved in...not for eight years.

Billy's wheelchair creaked on the asphalt as it rolled behind her. He wanted to talk to her alone. That much was clear.

"So, Bella," he cleared his throat. "I hope you're enjoying living in Forks."

"Yes, thank you," she replied. "I am."

"It must have been a hell of an adjustment to make with our weather," he continued.

"Yes, well...I managed."

He paused, and Bella stopped shifting in place to look at him. He eyed her back and dropped the pretense.

"Bella, the Cullens and I go way back," he said. "My...intolerance, as you father puts it, is not without merit. They're not good company to keep."

Bella took a deep breath and thought carefully before she spoke. Flames, visible only to her, danced their way down the house to Billy's wheelchair. "I thought they just moved here a couple of years ago? Did they do anything to you...or anyone else, in that time?"

Billy smiled grimly. "It's...more complicated than that. I'm serious, Bella. The Cullens are dangerous."

"They're no more dangerous that I am," she replied quietly. "I appreciate your concern Mr. Black, but it's not really necessary. They've been nothing but friendly with me the few times we've hung out."

 _Rosalie's singing. Esme's cooking. Carlisle in his study_ , she chanted to herself.

He nodded. "So you only see them occasionally?"

"Sure, I mean we share a few classes but not many," she said casually. Maybe toning down her friendship with them would help end this awkward conversation.

"But it's enough to start dating one of them?"

Shit. Shit. Shit! She struggled not to show that he'd gotten her, but it must have shown because the look on his own face was one of knowing triumph. For a fleeting moment, Bella saw his knowing expression transform to the tortured, beaten expression of the squirrel.

"My relationships," she said through clenched teeth, "are-"

"Nobody's business but Bella's," Charlie finished as he walked towards her fast. The flames died down. "The bike looks good. I'm sure Jake will work his magic and make it safe to ride. You ready, Bella?"

She nodded quickly. Whereas she had failed, Charlie's tone of finality succeeded in putting an end to Bella and Billy's conversation.

"See ya, Jake," Charlie waved to the boy. "Billy," he nodded, then got into his cruiser and pulled away, Bella following in her truck.

* * *

An hour later, atop the cliff she had chosen, Bella finally made the decision and picked up her phone. She waited, her hands pressed flat down on the grass as they burned whatever they touched to nothing. It was a new moon tonight and Bella couldn't see clearly more than dozen feet in front of her. She saw the edge of the cliff and little beyond that. There was a new moon that night too, four years ago. Plenty of stars, as always in the desert, but not enough to improve visibility.

A branch snapping alerted her to her family's arrival. All of them marched through the foliage, unhindered by weak human eyesight, and headed right for her. Some of the tension that had built up in her shoulders disappeared as Rosalie and Jasper sat on either side of her. Their mates joined them a second later as did Esme and Carlisle.

There was no sign of Edward.

She squeezed Rosalie's hand and closed her eyes. Telling them would remind them that she was a killer. Bella was so much more, but everything that she was _paled_ in comparison to this part of her life. 508...the number was bad enough. The laundry list of facts she had collected on each of her victims was bad enough. Telling them this story...this one encounter with one individual whose luck ran out the moment she and Bella met...how can anyone, even Vampires, multiply that by 508 and think she deserved any sort of forgiveness?

"You're afraid," Jasper whispered. "I hope, not from anything you think we will do?"

Bella swallowed and looked down.

"What you're afraid of...it's not going to happen," Alice said gently. Bella looked at her and the girl nodded. She knew, Bella realized. "Most of us have been through this, Bells. We understand."

Nodding, Bella shrank deeper into Rosalie's embrace and clutched at her jacket.

"Jacob's mother," Bella's voice came out raspy. She swallowed and started again. "Jacob's mother died four years ago. I killed her."

Emmett and Carlisle shifted in surprise. Rosalie squeezed her tighter, and she let herself take in a few lungfuls of her scent which calmed her better than Jasper's gift, before continuing.

"Everything was so much harder back then," she said, finding strength in Rosalie's unwavering grasp on her. "I didn't have the wind at that point, so just making it through each day was a challenge. Food was the hardest of all. I could get by with dirty clothes for a few weeks, but having to put something in my stomach everyday meant I couldn't stay away from civilization for too long."

The hunger was unbearable at times. Sometimes it was hard to tell what was worse, it or the loneliness. Still, for years she had managed. Before she ever developed the ability to unlock doors with a glance, she had gotten pretty good at picking locks and would sneak into libraries, schools, and small stores at night to scavenge for food. She used to let herself into people's houses, especially when she was younger and in places like Iowa that didn't have much in the way of buildings to begin with, but she put a stop to that when she lost control one night. The family dog caught her in the pantry and faithfully barked to alert its owners. Bella, then 12, was so frightened of the heavy footsteps coming down the stairs right on top of her...That family didn't have a chance. Six dead. Not to mention the dog.

"After I turned 13, I started heading back west. I think I was a little homesick to be honest. Or I just got sick of farms. The west is so much wilder...That appealed to me for some reason."

Moving west also made it easier to blame a freak fire on geography. By then, Bella had read enough to be proactive about her movements through the country. Too many fires and puzzling accidents meant more attention, the last thing Bella wanted.

"I had never seen the Grand Canyon," she smiled warily, "and I really wanted to. So I started hiking. It took several months but I managed to cross into Arizona by February. Then...I did something incredibly foolish. The last section of the trip was 80 miles across open desert. I purposefully planned every mile of the journey so there would be minimal contact with humans. There was a small town where I had planned to stop to restock my pack with food and water. I decided instead to keep going."

It's not like she hadn't gone without food for days at a time before. That, unfortunately, was too common an occurrence especially when her emotions got the best of her. But water...that was a different story.

"Heat has never bothered me, and even in the desert I never felt overheated. But I ran out of food, then water halfway through. It was...bad. I tried every method I knew to collect water, but what little I managed to get barely made up for the effort getting it. By the third day, I was sure I was close to dying."

Rosalie flinched at the word and hugged her closer. On her other side, Emmett sighed and squeezed his wife's hand.

"I broke one my rules," Bella whispered. "What energy I had left, I used up going in a different direction...towards a road a few miles away. I remember my feet hitting pavement. And then I collapsed. When I came to, Sarah was pulled over beside me...and she had water."

Bella thought she was a mirage at first before tasting the cool liquid on her lips. She must have downed two full liters before she realized what was happening, that there was a woman watching her not two feet in front of her. Talking to her. An actual human being.

"If I wasn't so weak I might have exploded then," Bella said ruefully. "But I was so, so tired. She coaxed me into her car where she had a few snacks. I devoured everything. The food helped get my mind running again. She was obviously pretty concerned, but didn't ask too many questions except if there was anyone else I was with that was still out there. There wasn't of course and I told her as much before I fell in and out of sleep. She had classical music on the radio. That helped calm me."

She pushed back the pang in her chest as she remembered feeling the woman brush her hand on her forehead. There was definitely a tear or two...it was the first benevolent touch she'd felt in years.

"It was dark when I finally woke up for real. She said we had driven only an hour and that we were close to the Grand Canyon visitor center." Bella paused and looked at her feet, ashamed. "I should've run for it then. There were so many people, more than I'd had to deal with since...since the first time. But Sarah was so...nice! I liked hearing her voice. And she was so gentle...not pushy at all about how I ended up alone in the desert. I...I let her steer me to a small diner. She bought me dinner. She told me she was at a relative's wedding in Texas and that she was taking the scenic route home. She talked about her family, her children. She was a painter."

That had gotten Bella's attention. Renée used to paint too. Sarah must have seen her peaked interest because she pressed her about it, and Bella reluctantly told her of her mother's hobby. Before she knew it, the woman had gotten her to reveal that she was homeless and had been for some time. What the hell was she thinking that day? Bella often asked herself that question. Was she just so starved for attention that the minute someone showed interest (and Bella let them) she tossed the towel on all her rules? Deep down, she knew it was simpler than that. She was 13. She missed her mother. And Sarah had saved her life, fed her, and talked to her the way her mom used to. Add to that, her physical and mental exhaustion from the trying days before and Bella was a goner in the face of Sarah's kindness.

"I followed her back to the car," Bella said through the tears that were starting to fall. "I shouldn't have. Or I should've asked where we were going. I finally thought of that question when we had driven for a few minutes."

She gulped and felt intense calm from her right, from Jasper.

"She said we were gonna go to the nearest city on her way...and that she'd drop me off at their police station."

Even the memory of the terror that Bella had felt when Sarah announced her intentions had her shaking. The edge of the cliff lit up. Thin lines of fire made their way through the dirt and grass at the cliff's edge, and then through the air when Bella ran out of ground. The family watched, apprehensive but enthralled by Bella's artwork.

"I panicked," Bella whispered. "I tried to talk her out of it but I'm sure I sounded like a silly child. There was so little time...I felt my body react and I knew we- _she_ had just seconds. I cried. Screamed for her to stop the car. She thought I was just scared of social services. She didn't stop. We were at a bend in the road so she slowed down...and I managed to get my door open and jump out. The trees on the other side of the road exploded as soon as I hit the ground. It would've been the car if I was still in it. But it didn't matter in the end. The explosion distracted her and the car swerved heavily."

She paused, drawing a breath before she continued.

"Hermit Road is open to private vehicles only three months out of the year because of how dangerous it is, and because of the popular views," she swallowed and looked down in grief. "The bend where she lost control...it's called the Abyss. It's the only section of the canyon that's sheer cliff...nothing but air when you look down. Sarah's car went over the edge. She fell 3000 feet to her death."

* * *

Esme closed her eyes and felt herself deflate a little. Jasper was leaking Bella's emotions and she was not accustomed to feelings of this...magnitude. How many times has she gone through this? 180 after the first night...

If just one person made Bella feel like this...she shook her head sadly. Getting this child to forgive herself was a herculean task. For a split second she feared she might not be up to the task until she remembered she wasn't alone. Every Vampire sitting around her favorite human loved her deeply. Every one of them believed in her. Rosalie wasn't the only one who would always bet on Bella.

Her daugher held Bella in her arms as she cried out the remainder of her tears on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Bella," she whispered repeatedly before lifting her head up to face her.

Whatever Rosalie saw in Bella's eyes, none of them were privy to. It was the bond between mates...the unspoken language of glances and facial expressions...more subtle though far more powerful than telepathy.

"There's more," Rosalie said slowly. "Isn't there?"

Bella didn't answer and instead looked down once again...before furtively glancing at Esme.

And Esme understood.

With a sinking feeling that was entirely her own, she subconsciously covered her mouth with her hand and listened to Bella finish her story.

"I heard the car crash," Bella said. "It took so long to hit the bottom. My leg was bleeding pretty badly from hitting the ground, but I crawled to the edge anyway. I tried, but couldn't make anything out. It was dark, and it was so far down."

She gulped and looked at Esme again, who could only nod back sadly. Rosalie glanced between the two of them quickly before recognition crossed over her face and she fell back in shock and horror.

"I'd never felt so desperate or so alone. Even though this was by no means the first time," she whispered. "I killed that woman hours after she saved my life. One more widower. Three more children who had to grow up without their mother. How many more would there be? I hated myself. It...it wasn't a hard decision to make. At that moment it felt like that would be the only good think I'd ever do...the only contribution I'd ever make. How many lives would it save?"

Rosalie balled her fists over what was left of the grass at Bella's feet, and Esme's heart broke when she looked up and saw the anguish written all over her daughter's face.

"You jumped," Rosalie whispered.

Bella nodded and never took her eyes off of her mate. "I jumped."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note III: Omg it's 5:45 am and I have to be at work in less than 4 hours. AGH! Please make this day, which will be difficult enough without adequate sleep, go by quickly by REVIEWING!
> 
> I'm really sorry that I haven't replied yet to last chapter's reviews. I swear it's because of how swamped with work I was this week. That and I figured you'd all rather I get this chapter up sooner.


	55. Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: I found a very moving musical piece for this chapter. It's "Girl Rising Main Theme" by Lorne Balfe

_"You jumped," Rosalie whispered._

_Bella nodded and never took her eyes off of her mate. "I jumped."_

It was hard to recount this story and not feel deeply ashamed. Jasper surely felt it emanating from her in waves. But...he wouldn't realize that Bella's shame was equally divided between choosing to end her life...and for surviving after all. She hoped, anyway, that his gift wasn't so discerning that he would understand why she felt what she did...

"I jumped," she repeated. "And I fell."

The family sat riveted in their spots, watching her and waiting for her to finish. Of them, Alice was the only one who looked any degree of serene. She must have seen this part of the story too.

"It took 17 seconds to reach the bottom," Bella whispered. "And for the first 15, I had no regrets." She paused to squeeze Rosalie's hand which lay num on her lap. "There was nothing to see on the way down...no way to gauge how far I had left to go or my speed. The only thing I could feel was the wind. It was lovely. Peaceful. I don't think I _thought_ about anything. No mom and dad, no deaths, no Sarah. There was only...peace."

Bella closed her eyes, remembering more vividly those few life-altering moments. Free-falling in the dark...the smell of the desert...the deafening yet quiet sound of the rushing wind...the feel of it gliding over her body. Anyone else would be overwhelmed with panic at the loss of control but Bella had welcomed it. Not until the last 2 seconds of her fall, when impact was imminent, did anything change.

"As I got closer to the bottom, I began to see some details," she explained. "I saw the reflection of stars in the river. I saw the reflections end at the bank. And I saw chunks of metal and wiring - the remains of Sarah's car. It happened in a flash..."

She tapered off, and Carlisle, who hadn't spoken at all until then voiced what everyone else was thinking. "Wind?" He asked.

Bella nodded. "I changed my mind," she whispered. "In those last two seconds, I decided I wanted to live. The ground was rushing up at me. It wasn't dark anymore down there and the rocks... I panicked when I understood that I had literally a second left to live. I closed my eyes thinking this was it. Then...I stopped falling. When I opened my eyes I was floating 10 feet above the ground."

If the events preceding that moment weren't so tragic Bella might have laughed out loud due to her situation. She was so shocked she could hardly utter a sound even though her body was on the verge of screaming. Finding yourself literally standing on thin air is the stuff of dreams, even more fantastic to Bella than the spontaneous combustion she had grown accustomed to.

"I barely had time to feel shock when I fell again," she sighed. "Whatever spell stopped me was broken and I landed in the canyon. None the worse for wear..."

Bella was doing a poor job masking her shame and anger with herself from Jasper, that much was clear, because the boy next to her looked up and gave her a long, searching look. Bella quickly looked away and chose instead to pick some more at Rosalie's jacket. What could she say to make him understand? How do you reconcile a love for life - because she _did_ love living and breathing with Rosalie and the rest of them - with the belief that she should have died that day four years ago? Suddenly Bella felt overwhelmed with emotions that were not her own. She gasped and fell back into Rosalie's embrace, who quickly moved to support her limp body. Jasper was flooding her with...relief, sadness, love, hope, but mostly relief as solid as the boulders strewn around them. The emotions were coming from the family. Jasper was forcing her to feel what Carlisle and Esme, Alice, Emmett, himself and Rosalie felt about Bella...Bella alive, Belle here walking and talking with them now.

"You've made your point, Jasper," she whispered warily. He eased up, though the look he gave her made it clear he wasn't through with her yet.

After she caught her breath and was able to sit up again on her own, she continued. "There was fresh water in the river and I was full from dinner. I ended up staying in the canyon all through the next day working with the wind, trying to make it happen again. It was much easier than fire," she smiled wistfully. "I flew for the first time that night, away from the canyon. You can guess how much easier everything became after that. I rarely ran as fast as I could go because it was so risky. But flying...that put no one in danger but me. Flying meant I could go deeper into the wilderness."

And deeper she went. The period that followed, though until then she wouldn't have believed it could be possible, was the most solitary of Bella's exile. She levitated small amounts of food from sleeping campers and hauled bigger stashes from lodges, cabins, and stores catering to tourists peppered throughout the state and national forests she inhabited. And at night, she was able to fly to libraries and be back with a new stack of books by morning. No human being laid eyes on her at all during that time.

Sarah Black was her last victim.

Bella opened her mouth to say more, but stopped. Her mouth felt dry and raspy; she had never spoken so much of her past in one sitting.

"What will you tell Jacob?" Alice asked, tentatively.

Bella sighed and fought off the fresh tears that were threatening to show themselves. "Nothing..."

Esme furrowed her eyebrows. "Sweetheart -"

"I'm not going to tell Jacob I killed his mother," Bella interrupted. "Don't worry, I'm not that stupid. I'm...I'm not going to see him anymore."

All of them looked up in surprise. It was Bella's turn to give each of them a piercing look.

"The Quileutes know about you. They know what you are."

Bella was far too used to her vampires to miss the tension in their postures. Carlisle looked visibly uncomfortable.

She pushed on. "Billy Black was especially vocal about how dangerous you are. I tried to act like I barely knew you but he didn't buy it. Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

The silence was so thick you could slice a knife through it. Bella continued to look at each member of her family and saw that after they broke their gaze with her they each turned to glance at Carlisle.

Carlisle shifted nervously in place. "Bella," he said sounding apologetic. "We honestly can't talk about it. We want to, believe me...but we just can't."

Bella stared right back at him. "Because of the treaty?"

Esme gasped. "How did...?"

"Jacob told me an interesting story about the 'Cold Ones.' I'm guessing it's much more accurate than he believes. He thinks it's just a ghost story. It's not, is it?"

Carlisle actually looked like he was about to break out into sweats.

Jasper growled deeply beside her. "We have to tell her," he said angrily to his adopted father.

"We can't," Carlisle insisted. "We do and it voids the treaty."

"I don't care about some stupid treaty!" Emmett yelled. "She's a part of this family. She has to know!"

"It could start a war," Esme tried to side with her husband but it was clear even she was wavering.

The family proceeded to argue about what they could and couldn't tell Bella. Bella, whose head was already pounding from her emotional state from the evening, leaned further into Rosalie, the only one not speaking. She turned to her and quietly asked, "this is the real reason you didn't like me going to La Push?"

Rosalie nodded. She looked so downcast it tore at Bella's heart. "I'm sorry I couldn't be honest with you. I wanted to tell you...but Carlisle's right...it would void the treaty and we'd all be in danger, including you."

Bella smiled her first real smile of the night. "It's ok," she said. "I haven't exactly been generous with my secrets, have I?"

Rosalie gave her a strange look but didn't ask her to elaborate. Instead she hugged the girl closer and kissed her gingerly on the forehead. Bella sighed and tried to ignore the hushed arguing around her. She inhaled Rosalie's scent and waited.

"Enough!" Alice shouted. Everyone stared at her. The diminutive girl rarely raised her voice unless it was in response to a really good sale.

"We seem to have forgotten that Bella already knows most of it," she talked to them like they were kindergartners...slow and direct. "The treaty says nothing about someone _figuring it all out on their own_."

As if experiencing whiplash, everyone turned to look at Bella.

She sighed, exasperated. "I don't think I care anymore. I don't need to know."

"No," Carlisle said, surprising them all. "Alice is right. And so is the rest of the family. You have every right to know, Bella. And you _do_ already have most of the facts."

Bella closed her eyes and counted to ten. "Fine," she whispered, and ordered her exhausted mind to put two and two together.

"They know you by name. You especially, Carlisle," she started. "This isn't the first time you've come to Forks?"

"No," Carlisle answered. "We purchased our property in 1936."

"So the five of you," she said looking at everyone except Alice and Jasper, "were there. You met the tribe elders."

"Yes," Rosalie replied.

"Jacob said you weren't like the cold ones from before," Bella continued. "They saw that you were different and made a treaty with you."

"Our eyes is what convinced them," Emmett added. "Human-drinking vampires have red eyes."

"And they would know that from their stories," Bella said. "But what exactly does this treaty entail? Aside from not revealing it to anyone else? And what do the Quileutes gain from the secrecy? You're the ones who have to hide, not them."

Silence.

"Think, Bella," Alice whispered. "What else do you know?"

"What else have you observed the last few weeks?" Rosalie added.

Bella paused, the gears in her head grinding. "You've been going bananas every time I've gone over there..."

"Yes," Rosalie nodded. "Keep going."

"You've been obsessed with getting me in the shower," Bella continued. Don't blush, she told herself. "The whole 'possessive vampire thing' was a ruse, I presume?" She asked, looking at Rosalie but also at Alice whom she remembered was the one who first offered that ridiculous explanation.

"She wasn't entirely wrong," Rosalie interjected quietly. "But yes, for the purposes of this discussion, Alice made that all up."

"Sorry, Bella," Alice said bashfully.

She nodded, distracted by the mystery before her. Bella's scent after visiting with Jacob truly bothered the vampires. Why? To her knowledge, all humans smelled like dinner. Unless...

"Why would you be in danger?" She asked softly. "If they find out that I know, what on earth can they do to harm you? You're vampires."

They didn't answer.

"How did they fight off the human drinkers?" That was obviously the right question to ask, because Rosalie squeezed her hand tighter as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

But still, none of them answered.

"Bella," Jasper started gently. "What did Jacob say about the legends?"

"He said -"

Her breath caught in her throat. Her mind churned, playing back everything Jacob had said.

"Werewolves?!"

"Smartass," Emmett grinned.

"I believe the treaty will remain intact," Carlisle smiled. "Well done, Bella."

_"Werewolves?!"_

"Minus the 'were'," Esme said. "They consider themselves shape-shifters. And they have nothing to do with the full moon."

"Very few people in the tribe have the ability. It's genetic, if I understood it correctly," Carlisle explained. The relief in his voice and in his whole countenance was so obvious. He didn't like keeping this from Bella anymore than the rest of them. "Long ago, human drinkers made their way to these lands and slaughtered their villages. From what Edward managed to glean from their thoughts, a few men in the village were able to shift their physical forms into that of the wolf."

"Not your average wolf either," Emmett added. "Those guys were huge. As big as a car. Man I would've loved to fight them!"

Rosalie whipped her head back and growled at him. "This isn't a joke," she stressed with emotion. "You've never fought anything more challenging than bears. They'd kill you one on one."

Emmett knew his wife well enough to not push the matter. "I'm sorry, babe. You're right."

"So they can really hurt you?" Bella asked fearfully.

"There were too few of them then," Carlisle tried to soothe her fears. "The five of us could've easily fought them and won if we had that sort of inclination. I think Ephraim Black knew that. He was a wise chief."

"Ephraim Black...so Jacob has this gene?" Bella asked, her heart sinking.

Esme nodded sadly. "Yes, sweetheart. We could smell it every time you came home. He's starting to change."

Bella closed her eyes. "He has no idea..." She whispered. "He thinks it's all crazy stories. What's going to happen when he..."

"Phases," Carlisle supplied. "That, we never learned. But I imagine his father has some idea. If he believes so thoroughly in what we are then surely he knows something of what his son will soon go through."

"How long does he have?" Bella asked.

They all looked to Carlisle who, unfortunately could not answer. "I honestly don't know, Bella. I'm sorry."

Was it painful to transform? Would Jake have to deal with some form of what the vampires called bloodlust? Are there others who can help him? Bella resolved to end her budding friendship with the boy but her heart still ached thinking of him having to deal with this. Were there other wolves already or would he be alone? And afterwards...what then? What would be expected of one of the rare Quileute shape-shifters?

"Honey," Esme said tentatively. "I don't think you should throw away your friendship with Jacob so briskly. The smell aside...he's been good for you."

Bella exhaled loudly. He _has_ been good for her. Bella's experience with friendship was so limited, she'd be an idiot not to see how valuable he'd become to her. He _has_ been good for her. But was she good for him?

* * *

Rosalie followed Bella under the covers of her small bed. She didn't change her clothes, for though she possessed limitless energy, tonight she was honestly just too tired to do anything but hold the younger girl. So that's what she did. They lay in the dark, facing each other and as close as two people could possible get.

"Rose, you shouldn't be here," Bella whispered. "It's Emmett's turn tonight."

"I'm here on his orders," Rosalie smiled truthfully. "His exact words were 'Rosie, if I see you in this house before 6am I swear to god I'll bash all the headlights on all your cars.'"

Bella chuckled softly. "He's really one of a kind, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is," Rosalie said fondly with a smile. "And he's crazy about you. I'm almost jealous."

Bella too, smiled before her eyes betrayed her. "I don't deserve it. I don't deserve any of you."

"Yes, you do," Rosalie replied firmly. Please, she prayed to whoever would listen. Please make her see. "Bella I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did. And I'm _so, so_ sorry that so many people had to die. But the way I see it, you were dealt some shitty cards - the worst cards a person, _a child_ could draw - and you did everything you could and then some to keep people safe. You -"

Rosalie stopped, overcome with the desire to kiss the girl. So she did, with every fiber of her being. It was a chaste kiss compared to their usual fare, but Bella's lips on hers felt no less powerful than their most heated of kisses.

Their lips were still touching when Rosalie spoke again. "You asked me to see myself the way you see me, a long time ago. You've always seen more in me...from the very start. Bella, I need you to do the same for yourself. Please...please when you're feeling like this, please try to see yourself the way I see you. Please."

Bella nodded slowly. "Ok," she whispered.

"And...I think Esme's right about Jacob," she added, not quite believing what she was saying but knowing in her heart it was right. "I don't think you should quit seeing him because of this."

" _You're_ the one saying this?" Bella asked incredulously. "His smell drives you nuts!"

"Don't worry about me," Rosalie brushed the issue off though she resigned herself to more bouts of insanity if Bella did indeed see more of her furry friend.

"Rose..."

"You're my mate," Rosalie said softly. "I can see you planning how to end your friendship with him and I can see that it's making you miserable. It's hard enough watching you go through everything else. He's been a good friend to you, even if he smells like wet dog. This could all become moot for all I know but...I don't think you should make any decisions right now. Just let things happen as they will."

Bella sighed. She saw the obstinacy in her eyes but at least she didn't outright say no. That was something. Ten minutes later, Bella still hadn't uttered a word but Rosalie was ok with that. Before she could shut her eyes and drift to sleep though, Rosalie had to say one more thing.

"Bella?"

"Hmm..." Bella replied sleepily.

Watching her carefully, Rosalie asked the question that had been on her mind all night. "How many times?"

"Huh?"

"How many times have you tried to kill yourself?"

Bella opened her eyes. Her heart sped faster in her chest, and Rosalie's own heart fell as Bella's reactions confirmed her inkling was correct.

"That many?"

Bella looked at her with hollow eyes. "It was a long time ago, Rose. I'm not that person anymore."

Rosalie, behind her impassive golden eyes, felt as though she were being stabbed. Over and over again. The imaginary knife seared through her flesh as she pictured her Bella in a dozen scenarios...each different but each ending the same way, with her dead on the ground, her lifeless eyes open and fixed upon nothing at all.

"Promise?" She asked roughly.

"I promise," Bella said gently. "I don't want to die, Rose."

 _Then live! Forever, with me!_ Rosalie wanted to scream. Bella pulled at Rosalie and held the older girl close to her chest. Rosalie relished the warmth of her body surrounding her and took a deep breath. Try as she may however, she could not ignore the thunder from Bella's heart or the irrefutable ebb and flow of her pulse point...

* * *

Hours later, when Rosalie could no longer keep herself from shaking, she finally stepped out of the shed for some fresh air. Not a moment after her nose caught the scents in the air, she sensed Esme in the area.

"Esme?"

"Hello Rosalie."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Esme walked up to her. "Alice said you might be stepping out. I...I didn't want Bella to be alone if you did."

Had she been anyone else, Rosalie's protective instincts might have put up a struggle against allowing the woman into Bella's home. But this was Esme. The two of them had some horrible things from their human lives in common, a fact that had quickly cemented their bond when Rosalie was first turned. Most vampires forgot their human life when they were turned, and though Rosalie unfortunately retained her most powerful, most painful human memories, she had forgotten much of her old family. Her biological mother and father were long a distant, weak recollection. Esme, only eight years her senior, had nonetheless filled the role of mother in every sense of the word for her. There was nothing Rosalie could deny her.

Besides, she and Bella now had something else in common.

"Thank you," Rosalie said slowly. "That's...that's a good idea. I need to hunt anyway."

Esme couldn't hide her surprise fast enough. Thankfully she had enough tact not to say anything, but Rosalie knew what she was thinking anyway. Rosalie had gone hunting only a week prior. Even with the proximity to Bella, she shouldn't have needed to hunt again for another week.

"Charlie's still awake," she pointed to the light in his bedroom window. "So don't use her door."

She ran off before Esme could answer...before Rosalie could change her mind, storm through the tiny shed and sink her teeth through Bella's jugular like she wanted to now more than anything else.

* * *

**Earlier that night:**

"Chief, I'm telling you. This was no accident."

"Of course not," Charlie sighed. "Because we can't just have a straightforward case anymore can we?"

"I don't make this stuff up, sir," the Fire Commissioner said. "There were two zippos found where we think the area of origin was. Nobody in that family smokes and none of them recognize the lighters."

Charlie sighed. "Go on."

"We know paint was the main accelerant but according to Jim, they repainted the living room two weeks ago. That should've been more than enough time for the chemicals to dissipate. Chief, Molly swears those paint cans were in the garage. Yet we just happen to find them in -"

"In the area of origin?" Charlie finished for him.

"Now, once I might've been inclined to think Jim's trying to collect on the insurance - they've fallen on hard times, you know that. But this is the third fire this month. And the pattern is unmistakable. First all those fire alarms from nowhere. Then Old Stevens...he kept trying to tell us it wasn't him. I think you and I were both wrong there, Charlie. And now this."

Charlie gritted his teeth as he tried to look anywhere but at the flames. As a law enforcement officer, he's seen countless fires since the one that claimed his wife. So why did this one leave him with a bitter taste in his mouth?

Maybe it was because damn near half the town was watching. They'd managed to rescue the family whose home was now ruined and that had provided entertainment for a population that was otherwise bereft of such excitement.

Damn it. "Hey kids! That barrier is there for a reason!" He shouted. Kids? This group was Bella's age and they were behaving like kindergarteners. "Miss Mallory. Miss Stanley. Please stay back."

"Sorry Chief," Jessica at least had the sense to look embarrassed. "The crowd keeps pushing forward. This isn't something we see everyday."

"Please be careful," he dismissed her gently as he walked up the line securing the rest of the barriers. He caught golden eyes and stopped, thinking he should greet Carlisle.

"Car - oh, I'm sorry. Er," Charlie tried to remember the boy's name. He'd seen him only a couple of times and neither was enough to provide a lasting impression, much less a name. "Edgar, is it?"

"Edward, sir," the boy replied smoothly.

"Ah, right," Charlie flustered a bit. "Hello. Is your family out here with you?"

That would certainly be unusual. The Cullens generally kept to themselves as far as he knew. Aside from the hospital and the grocery store, he'd rarely seen Carlisle and Esme, much less the kids, wandering about town. Then again, this fire was a pretty extraordinary event.

"No," Edward replied. "They are otherwise engaged."

"Oh, well. Ok then. Ah, be careful out here."

"Yes, sir."

Charlie walked away feeling rather odd. Twenty seconds with that kid were enough for him to conclude that he didn't like him. A bang from his right startled everyone in the crowd - everyone but Edward, he noted - and told him the staircase had collapsed in the house. Flames spewed out, Jim and Molly cried as they watched their home disappear, and the crowd stood transfixed by the sight. Charlie had a lot on his plate at the moment yet he couldn't help the stray thought that swam through his brain as he looked at Edward one more time.

_I'm glad Bella didn't choose this guy._


	56. Oncoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Bit of M fluff halfway.

"Don't do it, Emmett," Jasper warned.

"Dude, shut up."

"It's a death wish, Emmett," he tisked.

"Oh, I hardly think so."

Jasper shrugged in defeat and continued pretending to eat his lunch. His brother grinned and, after checking the alignment on his spoon, catapulted a large chilli pepper at Bella's sleeping figure across the table.

Bella jolted awake amid cries of outrage. Though too sleepy to raise her voice beyond the isolation of their table in the cafeteria, she nonetheless glared at the offending chilli pepper before it instantly combusted. It turned to ash and fell like a powdered snow onto the table.

Rosalie appeared with her tray and immediately whacked the back of her husband's head.

Edward shook his head. "You do understand she could've missed and burned your manhood away, don't you?"

"At least I have one," Emmett mumbled back.

"Now, now, play nice," Alice admonished while giving Bella a concerned look. She looked terrible.

Rosalie pushed her energy drink towards her. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

Bella shrugged and opened the can. She looked so miserable that Alice and Emmett didn't have the heart to joke about what she (and Rosalie) might have been doing to forgo that much sleep. It would have been a poor joke though because Rosalie wasn't with her last night.

The cafeteria was its usual noisy affair on this nondescript February day. The family's table, always quiet as a rule since all of them could hear the quietest of whispers and all but Bella could and often did whisper as softly as they could, was even more obviously hushed when compared to the flurry of excitement in the student body around them. There was another fire last night.

Six separate incidents. Three homes, two businesses, and a car that had not moved from its parking spot for over a year. Six fires in two months...an unheard of record for this sleepy town.

Bella felt as if she were trapped in a nightmare.

Never one to follow any sort of news before, she now felt herself a slave to the local papers. She dipped into her small stash of money and drove out to Port Angeles without telling anyone to buy a police scanner. It was continuously kept on when she wasn't in school with her friends. What she was hoping to hear, Bella couldn't be sure. Something the firefighters caught but didn't understand? A description of the yet-nonexistent suspect?

Her father's voice?

Charlie had been working overtime since their dinner at the Blacks, no doubt attempting to make some sort of headway on the case. Bella had seen him only a handful of times since. Each time, Charlie was as kind to her as he had been of late. They always greeted each other with a soft smile, always asked about the others' day, and in Charlie's sake, always passed along a greeting to the Cullens. But Bella saw a new hardening in Charlie's features. The invisible blockade between the two of them that was there for much of the previous year was slowly rebuilding itself. Charlie hasn't outright said anything about the fires, but Bella could see the seed of suspicion in his demeanor. And it was driving her crazy.

Two tables down, a bunch of pimply freshmen were talking animatedly about the latest event. One of them, a boy named EJ, had a father in the fire department which propelled his popularity a great deal this year.

"Dad says it was coleman fuel this time," the boy regaled to his friends excitedly. Bella could easily hear them without using her gift.

"The stuff they use in camp stoves?" Another girl asked.

"Yeah, and get this!" EJ leaned closer to his friends though his voice remained loud enough to be heard by half the cafeteria. "Dad says Chief Swan and Mr. Newton looked through the store's entire inventory and…"

He paused for dramatic effect. The girl to his right squealed and held his arm.

"There was a shitload of that fuel missing!" EJ grinned, wide-eyed. "Like seriously, a shitload! Mr. Newton was stunned!"

Bella closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. Coleman fuel...what would Charlie think if he knew that she knew perfectly well that coleman fuel was an excellent accelerant? And that she knew which brands of windshield washer fluid had the greatest concentration of methyl alcohol? All those hours in libraries weren't just spent playing the piano and reading about the Kennedys. For a short time she had thought that if she understood the science of fire she might have a better shot at controlling it.

It was a foolish hypothesis. Understanding how fires start and spread did nothing to alleviate Bella's brand of arson.

"They went through all the security footage and guess what they found?" EJ continued. "Nothing! Not a goddamn explanation for how all that stuff just vanished into thin air!"

Last fire it was rubbing alcohol. The one before that it was wicker. Was this some sort of game? It sure seemed like it. The arsonist must be having a real laugh watching Charlie and the fire department run circles trying to catch him.

"Bella," Jasper looked very concerned. "Why are you letting this affect you so much? I'm sure the police will catch the perpetrator."

"You know why," she mumbled back. "Charlie thinks I have something to do with it."

"Bella Bear, that's nuts," Emmett stated emphatically. "Hell, you were hanging with me last week when the Rite Aid went down. I took you home that day and Charlie was there. He knows we were together."

She shook her head. It didn't matter. Bella had a feeling she could've spent every moment with Charlie and he'd still suspect her. And let's face it, who could blame him?

"They'll catch him, Bella," Rosalie said softly before reaching for her hand. "It's only a matter of time."

Bella nodded. Rosalie's words had no effect but her voice gave her some comfort. Her voice always gave her comfort.

* * *

What good was it to be a terrifying predator when Rosalie couldn't even protect the people she cared for the most? She should be able to hunt down the person doing all this damage and, more importantly, causing her girlfriend this must stress without a second thought. So why wasn't she doing precisely that?

Well for one thing, the world could end and that still wouldn't get her to leave Bella's bed. Nothing but a family emergency would ever compel her to leave Bella's side, especially when the girl slumbered inside her arms like this. Rosalie hunted just the day before. She was full and sated. Did that mean Bella didn't still smell insanely delectable? No, of course not. But it meant Rosalie could rest her face in the crook of Bella's neck without losing her mind. She could breathe her in without accidentally ripping the sheets - something she had done last week when she pushed her luck and delayed the hunt.

But even if the previous reasoning did not exist, Rosalie still couldn't go out there and take matters into her own hands. It was the curse of eternal life and the lifestyle she was bound to. The Cullens were able to move city to city and repeat their lives not in small part because of their commitment to noninvolvement. With the exception of Rosalie's and Edward's excursions on their own many years ago, none of them have ever deliberately set out to change the natural course of events...even for altruistic reasons.

If a car was about to run Bella over, Rosalie would of course throw caution to the wind and save her. The whole family would, she was sure of it. But anyone else? It had taken Rosalie less time to adjust to this policy of noninterference than the rest of her family. Unsurprisingly, she had seen death as a blessing and had envied all those people, even those whose time came far too soon. Also unsurprisingly, Emmett had the most difficult time of it. He still did.

And that was why, though she wished she could abolish every reason for Bella's pain, Rosalie lay still beside the girl. Movement in the house...Charlie got into his car and left for work. Rosalie quickly jerked her head back away from Bella's neck. She was so angry she couldn't risk the proximity. That son of a bitch...Charlie was the other exception to her rule. Should Bella say the word, Rosalie would not hesitate to tear that sorry excuse for a human being apart. His demeanor towards Bella had gone south so fast just because he couldn't do his job and catch the arsonist. He had no idea how lucky he was...lucky that Bella would never allow him to come to harm by the Vampires' hands.

A few minutes later, Rosalie forced herself to calm down and enjoy the moment. Bella was so peaceful when she slept. She looked like an ordinary girl with nothing more on her mind than getting through high school. This was something Rosalie did often - watch Bella as she slept. There was little she could do after she drifted off after all, and she knew the young girl liked waking up next to her when she did stay over. On the best of nights (on most nights) Rosalie would fall into a meditative state, the closest thing to sleep her kind could muster, as she took in everything that was Bella. On the worst nights, she'd mull over her plans for the future as she went back and forth with herself. Would Bella want to wait a few years before she was turned? Would she want to experience college first? How would they deal with Charlie? Where will the family go next? How would it work with Bella and Emmett in one house? Will Emmett be all right once he and Bella were truly on the same level? All of those questions weighed equally on Rosalie's mind but they paled in comparison to the biggest one of all:

How will Bella's gifts evolve when she changed?

It was enough to give her a splitting headache on the worst of nights. Tonight, fortunately, was not one of those nights. Tonight, or rather this morning seeing as it was light out already, she could shut out all thoughts and just _be_ with her Bella.

Ever so softly, Rosalie traced Bella's face with her hand. She lightly brushed her fingertips to her hair, her forehead, eyelids, cheeks, lips. It was hardly touching at all, but it still left tingles on her own skin. Greed overtook her. It wasn't enough just to brush her skin along hers. Rosalie gulped down another deep breath of Bella's scent. She had to be sure. She had to be sure of herself before she proceeded. Her intentions, like exotic spices, added another delicious element to the aroma before her...but her control held true.

Her lips marched in step with her fingers...where they went, her lips followed. She spent many tantalizing minutes covering her lover's face with kisses, resisting the pull to deepen them when her lips touched hers.

Bella's neck wasn't even an option. It didn't matter how many deer she slaughtered. Even if she had hunted an hour ago, this was a self-imposed line Rosalie would no longer cross. Forget bloodlust...Rosalie _wanted_ it badly enough she feared her rational mind would cease to function if she ever got so close to her jugular. No, Bella's neck went undisturbed as she maneuvered in the bed and went further down.

Bella didn't stir when she rolled her nightshirt up her body. The blonde moaned softly as she traced around Bella's areolas and the underside of her breasts before plunging one of Bella's soft nipples into her cool mouth.

She really couldn't help herself. Without any conscious thought beyond the body beneath her, Rosalie's own body started moving on its own. She had long ago gotten used to her unnaturally high sex drive with Emmett. When Bella came along, part of her assumed that surely with two people her desires would quell a bit but, no...she needed Emmett and she needed Bella with an intensity and frequency that would scare her if she wasn't already scared of so many other things. Maybe Emmett was right and there was something that linked her in some way to the Denali sisters. Maybe the only thing that spared her from their extra feeding requirements was Carlisle's venom, not Sasha's, that coursed through her veins.

_Oh, who cares._

Rosalie withdrew her mouth and replaced it with a gentle hand as she transferred her attention to Bella's other side. If there was a chance of stopping, that chance was obliterated the second she heard Bella moan. It was slight and barely audible but it was enough to spur her on well past the point of no return.

* * *

Should she be pleased with Rosalie's wake-up call or be annoyed with the hour? No sooner had Bella asked herself the question than she dismissed it. Who the hell needed sleep when they could have this...

"Someday I'm gonna grow tired of sex," she said jokingly while simultaneously moaning when she felt Rosalie's tongue swirling faster. "And then what will you do?"

"Nice try," Rosalie growled. The vibrations from her mouth on her nipple sent tremors through the brunette's body. "You know you're as addicted to this as I am."

Bella grinned slyly. "Every addiction has a cure, Rosalie Hale."

Suddenly Rosalie's face was right above Bella's. Rosalie looked her right in the eye, her lips millimeters from Bella's. "I'm sure I'll think of something to keep you hooked," she whispered.

Bella closed the distance between them so their lips finally met. She would never get tired of this, she thought. Never mind the sex...she was addicted to these gentle kisses...to Rosalie's mere presence. Holding her hand did more for her general outlook than she had ever dreamed possible. Bella never hated herself when Rosalie was near. How could she, when Rosalie loved her so much?

Her legs spread themselves without any further prompting and wrapped tightly around Rosalie's waist. She opened her mouth slightly and accepted Rosalie's probing tongue. It was so cold...not uncomfortably so, but the shock of it sent her shivering in anticipation. Rosalie's kisses always held promises. Of what, she didn't really understand. But in all the time she spent with the older girl, Bella had never parted from her feeling those promises were unfulfilled.

She sighed deeply and relaxed her body. Rosalie withdrew and brought her hands up from her sides, kissing each knuckle carefully before setting them back down. They didn't take their eyes off of each other as Rosalie descended south, as she peeled Bella's underwear off, as she slowly kissed her way up each leg, and as she finally settled her face in Bella's center.

Bella's breathing changed to short, irregular gasps. Rosalie never needed long to bring her to orgasm. It was almost pathetic, or so Bella used to think in the beginning. A different lover might have stopped after her first peak, thinking their job was done. But Rosalie never stopped after one. Rosalie would probably be the death of her one day because she could on and on. And on.

She cried out again. She clenched up again. Her body shook again, and again, and again.

All over her body, her skin buzzed with electricity as she looked down at Rosalie. Her eyes, all that she could really see of her face for obvious reasons, were so dark. Rosalie must have seen the concern flash over her face because she moved to hold her hand in hers. She held it gently. She was fine.

A moment later, Rosalie wasn't. So quickly she sent Bella's heart racing, Rosalie leaped backwards and hissed. She had the strangest expression on her face.

"What is it?" Bella asked, worried. Did her scent finally push her too far?

"Outside," she answered slowly. "Your friend. Jacob."

Bella's stomach tumbled and joined her feet. Shit. She never told him to get lost, mostly to appease Esme, but she hadn't exactly sought him out since the dinner either. Apparently he never thought to ask Charlie for her number because he hadn't tried to contact her in all this time either. The two of them should stay in their respective towns, as far as Bella was concerned.

"Ignore it," Bella mumbled, looking down.

She looked up in time to watch Rosalie mentally struggle with something. One second she looked ready to kill, the next, ready to swoop down and kiss her. What seemed like a full minute finally passed and Rosalie settled on an expression of pained acceptance.

"No, sweetie," she said gently, though it was clear that it was taking every bit of Rosalie's self-control so maintain that demeanor. "You should see him. You should see what he wants."

"Rosalie! I -"

"You..." Rosalie showed her teeth. "...care about him. He's your friend. Now I'd be a pretty lousy girlfriend if I let you ruin this, even if I do want to rip his lungs out." She closed her eyes and stopped breathing altogether.

Knocking. He was at the door. How the hell did he know to check the shed? Shit, was it his nose? Was he developing wolf senses already?

"Rose! Don't!" But it was too late. Rosalie donned the pajama bottoms and tank that had come off at some point during the night or in the morning and was already downstairs before Bella could blink.

"You're gonna kill him!" Bella whispered frantically. Was Rosalie insane? Did she think Jacob's scent wouldn't be any worse up close? Oh god, oh god, she thought anxiously as she pulled her own pajamas back on as quickly as she could.

"You must be Jacob!" Bella tripped and stubbed a toe. She hobbled around her bed all the while wondering if that was really Rosalie's voice. Rosalie sounded...perky, friendly...fucking weird.

Bella ran down the stairs in time to see, truly, the funniest gobsmacked expression ever on Jacob's face. What the hell's wrong with him? She looked him over with concern for a second before it hit her. Oh, right. He was meeting Rosalie for the first time.

Despite the situation she found herself inwardly smirking. Bella had witnessed that look on his face dozens of times every time Rosalie accompanied her to the library, the supermarket, the mall...really, anywhere in which humans inhabited. And every time without fail, somebody somewhere would stop dead in their tracks, sweat through every layer of clothing, lose control of all facial (and sometimes, other) muscles, and emit little squealing, tortured sounds like -

"Uga, uhh"

Bella rolled her eyes but secretly agreed with Jacob. Rosalie did look particularly ravishing this morning. Her hair was tousled wildly, she didn't have an ounce of makeup on (something Bella found way hotter anyway), and that tank! Poor Jake. He really had no chance in making a presentable impression. Even Bella's eyes had trouble veering away from Rosalie's chest in that tank.

"It's nice to meet you, Jake," Rosalie continued in that weird sing-song, nice voice. Bella shuddered. That really was the scariest thing she'd ever heard in her life. "Bella hasn't shut up about you. I don't have any reasons to be jealous, do I?"

Both Jacob and Bella gave Rosalie an incredulous look as if to say, are you crazy? You, jealous?

"Uga, uhh"

Dear lord, Rosalie broke Jacob. The boy just stood there, staring at Rosalie like she was Juliet come alive while Rosalie struggled to maintain 1. her friendly, completely fake, countenance and 2. her desire to put as much distance as possible between herself and that awful stench.

"Uga," Jaco cleared his throat. "H-hi. It's nice to meet you too, Rosalie. Hi Bella."

"Hi," she replied quietly. Unsurprisingly her thoughts immediately turned to his mother.

Rosalie seemed to sense her discomfort because she put a strong, protective arm around her. "To what do we owe this pleasant surprise, Jacob?" Rosalie asked. She still sounded way too nice but Bella caught the covert tone anyway. She also heard her whisper, "answer or I'll skewer you with my nail filer, you mangy mutt."

"I, uh, Bella!" He exclaimed, finally seeing her for the first time. "I found you a motorcycle! I came to see if you wanted to come with me to grab it from the salvage yard!"

God, she wanted to say yes. She wanted to punch him playfully for staring at Rosalie. She wanted to tease him mercilessly for the bit of drool on his chin. In the end, though, it didn't matter what Bella wanted or didn't want. Rosalie was just too determined.

"That's great!" Rosalie exclaimed with an enthusiasm she had rarely heard before. "Bells mentioned that. You'll be careful with her, right Jacob?"

"Uh, huh." He looked ready to kiss the floor because Rosalie was speaking directly to him again.

"Watch yourself, ok?" Rosalie turned to her. She wasn't talking about the motorcycle. "I'll be out with Alice all day."

Then she whispered fast so only she could hear. "I love you. Don't hate me too much for this, but I hate seeing you in pain more than I hate his stench. Please try not think about that other thing? Try to enjoy the time that you have, ok?"

Bella nodded and let her draw her in for a deep, passionate kiss. She suspected it was partly a show for Jacob - a not-so-subtle warning that Bella was taken and that he better not try anything. In any case the kiss had Bella's (and Jacob's) knees shaking by the time she let her come up for air.

"I love you," Rosalie said again, louder so Jacob could hear.

The blonde sped upstairs before she knew it to "pack" her overnight things. Jacob, unaware that Rosalie could still hear everything, turned to look at Bella with reverence and awe.

He mouthed the words, 'holy hell, she's smokin'!'

'She's crazy and moody, unpredictable and downright cruel sometimes,' she wanted to say. 'But yeah...holy hell is right.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I got seriously stuck trying to come up with a name for this chapter. Still not sure if I like it. Anyone got suggestions? Also, would you rather Bella told Jacob the truth, have him find out on his own, or not tell him at all?


	57. Kindling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

"Can I ask you something without you blowing my head off?" Jacob asked.

"Okay..."

"Charlie...he's not very nice to you, is he?"

Bella paused at the wheel and frowned. The road to La Push was narrow and windy, and she swore silently at Jacob for trying to have a heart to heart when she was trying to focus on her surroundings. Another wet, dark day.

She cleared her throat. "What makes you say that?"

Jacob looked down at his hands. "You live in a garden shed, Bella," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Bella sighed. No, Charlie hadn't been particularly nice to her these last eight years but she did kill his wife and scores of other people, so who was she to hold a grudge? She missed the lightness of being she'd felt with him when it seemed his heart was finally warming, but her time on her own taught her not to dwell on what couldn't be changed. If Charlie went back to outright hating her again...well, there were worse things she could face.

"Maybe you were a bit distracted by the company," she raised an eyebrow. "But if you had gotten a good look around you would've seen how great it is in there."

Jacob smiled a little but he still wasn't convinced. "I don't care if it's the Taj Mahal inside. It's still a shed."

Damn, she'd have to bring out the big guns and humiliate herself a little. "Jacob, I'm in there voluntarily," she lied. "Can't you think of any reasons why?"

His face twisted in confusion. "No..."

Of course you can't, she thought. "Think about it. What did you notice in there?"

"Um," he bushed. Obviously he didn't notice much of anything.

"Well I know you saw Rosalie," Bella huffed and cast a not so subtle glare at his shorts.

"Dude!" He cried out, mortified and shifted a bit.

"At least you didn't _completely_ lose it," she mumbled disgustedly, recalling the not one, but _two_ times that gross situation happened to them in the mall.

"Ok, _yes_ I noticed Rosalie," Jacob grumbled defensively.

"And?"

"And..." Jacob put his hands up in exasperation. "I give up!"

Bella blew out a lungful of air. "Pajamas! She was in her pajamas, you moron. She was there all night. With me. _In bed_. Now do you understand that there are certain perks to living 200 feet from my father's house? Do you understand now why I _wanted_ to live there?"

"...Yes," Jacob ginned. "Totally. Completely."

She sighed again and refocused her attention on the road. Jacob continued to stare at her occasionally. It didn't take a genius to guess that he was probably imagining her and Rosalie together. Bella blushed bright red. Let him have his fantasies. If it means he won't mention the stupid shed again, fine.

"So were you two getting it on last night?" Jacob grinned slyly.

She growled. "Actually we were 'getting it on' this morning. Right before you knocked on my door, genius."

"Whoa, ok ok. Jeez, is that why you've got such a short fuse this morning? I'm sorry..."

Bella immediately deflated. She _was_ a little furious at everything this morning, but Jacob didn't deserve for her take her anger out on him. She couldn't help this feeling of bitterness and resentment. Sarah's face was lodged in her mind and wouldn't leave her. She wanted to apologize to Jacob and tell him _that_ was why she felt so on edge...that she kept seeing Sarah's broken body at the bottom of the canyon...that her mind kept playing a loop of the car falling over the edge.

"I'm sorry, Jake," she said sincerely. "Don't worry about it, it's just girl stuff." She smiled softly. "Maybe I'll feel better if we can get those motorcycles running."

Jacob folded his arms smugly. "Now that's more like it!"

* * *

Working on the motorcycles _did_ make Bella feel better. It kept her focused anyway. Together, she and Jacob heaved the big bike onto her truck (with a little covert help from her gift) and spend the rest of the day in his workshop. Jacob ignored his own nearly finished bike and devoted the whole day to Bella's, which moved along nicely.

Two things occurred that nearly ruined everything however.

Sometime in the middle of the afternoon, Jacob realized a critical section of the bike's frame would need to be welded. The 15-year-old just so happened to know where to get a hold of the equipment, and after promising a bewildered Bella that he knew what he was doing, ran off to who knows where on the reservation and brought back everything they needed. She frowned as he set everything up, thinking how much easier it would be to take the bike to an experienced welder rather than go through all this trouble, before realizing Jacob was probably just showing off for her. It must be a boy thing, she thought.

Jacob got everything going perfectly. But in his excitement, he forgot to tell Bella to step back...and she forgot what happens when you turn on a welding machine. No sooner had Jacob begun than he stopped in panic because Bella's arm was on fire.

For a split second anyway.

Jacob stared and sputtered, trying to make sense of the situation in his panic. He could have sworn he saw Bella's arm engulfed in flames. He was sure of it! He kept asking Bella if she was alright, kept checking her arm as if it would combust at any moment. But Bella just denied everything steadfastly. He was seeing things, she insisted. The fire never touched her arm, she was sitting too far away, she said repeatedly.

She made sure to sit far away from that blasted gizmo after that.

The second close call happened when they stopped for lunch. Billy was, thankfully, out with his buddies and Jacob didn't know the difference between bread and butter. So they left everything in the workshop and walked 10 minutes to the closest thing that sold food, a rundown burger joint down the road. It took four meals to satisfy Jacob's hunger this time, and Bella looked on wondering how close he was to phasing. Edward told her that the wolves from the 1930s were constantly thinking about their stomachs. Bella swallowed her last bite, pondering on her friend's fate, when two people walked in. She would have thought nothing of it...except Jacob's entire demeanor changed as soon as he saw them, and, more importantly, as soon as they saw him.

Bella watched with caution and curiosity as the newcomers approached their table. The boys were massive, bigger than Jacob but not quite on the same level as Emmett. They wore cutoff jeans and t-shirts that exposed some pretty impressive biceps. But that's not what caught Bella's attention. What caught her attention was how Jacob suddenly slouched as if trying to hide in his seat the second their gazes met...and the identical, elaborate tattoos on each boy's right arm. Two wolves creating the face of a third.

"How are you doing, Jacob?" The bigger boy asked. His voice was deep and authoritative. He could've passed for a man in his thirties if he wasn't dressed so...delinquently.

"Fine," Jacob mumbled. Bella watched him carefully. Her friend looked agitated, annoyed...even frightened.

The stranger paused as if weighing his next words. He too, Bella noticed, was scrutinizing Jacob carefully, calculatingly, she thought with confusion.

"Aren't you going to introduce us to your friend?" He finally asked when Jacob wouldn't move. The boy didn't wait for him however, and turned to Bella. "I'm Sam Uley. And you are?"

Bella took his outstretched hand in her own. "Bella Swan."

Sam gripped her hand and smiled. "It's nice to..."

His words hung in the air. Jacob looked up from his plate, aware suddenly that something was wrong. Bella prayed they'd all get through this without causing a scene.

Sam's grip was strong. Too strong. In the nick of time, Bella called on her gift once again to save her from an unfortunate situation. He would have crushed her hand if she didn't prevent his from closing any tighter. Ordinarily, Bella might have worried that such a move would not go unnoticed, but it was clear from Sam's face that he noticed little beyond the obvious.

He could smell them.

She saw him take deep breaths and tilt his head towards her. His eyes narrowed slightly while he inhaled some more, a quizzical and alarmed expression on his face as he tried to place the scent that permeated Bella's skin and indeed, every piece of clothing she owned. The Cullens' scent was everywhere.

"It's nice to meet you," she finished for him. Let go, let go, she chanted in her mind.

"Yes, yes," he finally loosened his grip, completely unaware just how strong it was, and smiled tentatively. "Chief Swan is your father?"

"Yup," she replied casually as she pulled her hand back.

Jacob cleared his throat and glared at Sam. "Did you guys want something? Bella and I were just leaving so..."

"I just wanted to say hello, Jacob," Sam smiled softly. "And to let you know I'm here if you ever...if you ever need anything."

"Right," Jacob said gruffly. "Thanks."

With that, she and Jacob hurriedly left the table. She faced forward while they waited in line to pay, grateful that Jacob didn't try to talk to her while the other boys were still in the restaurant. They'd probably hear them. They _must_ be shape shifters. They had to be. How else could Sam detect the vampires' scent when Jacob couldn't? If that didn't make it obvious, the tattoos certainly did. The interaction between Sam and Jacob ran through her mind. Interesting that Jacob exhibited a dislike for him. More interesting, and much more disturbing, she realized, how Sam treated Jacob. Sam was fishing, Bella recognized with a start. His senses must be telling him that Jacob was close to phasing. How much were they telling him about Bella and the company she kept?

"I can't stand those-" Jacob started.

"Let's stop by a hardware store on the way back," she interrupted. No need for uninvited ears.

"Ok," he replied happily, distracted.

On their way out the door, Bella turned casually in Sam's direction. She expected him to still be watching Jacob, the next member, she suspected, of his pack. But he wasn't. A chill ran down her spine when she saw that his gaze was fixed on her.

* * *

"Sweetie, what temperature should I set the oven?" Esme asked as she stirred the pan full of shrimp.

Bella leaned over the cookbook on the counter. "450 degrees," she replied.

"God, that stinks!" Emmett boomed, covering his nose and walking into the kitchen.

"Then sit in the other room," Esme scolded him.

Emmett grinned. "Nah. Bella Bear misses me, don't you Bella Bear?"

"Madly," she rolled her eyes. "I just can't go a full hour with seeing those muscles."

He chuckled and posed with his arms outstretched. Rosalie sped into the room and gave Bella light kiss on the lips before leaning over the table in front of Emmett. "Should we send her home with pictures of you?" She asked him cheekily. "I think I can dig up some of the ones you took when-"

"So what's for dinner?" Emmett asked quickly.

"Chicken," Rosalie teased.

"Actually it's shrimp," Bella came to Emmett's rescue. She _so_ didn't want to see any pictures that Emmett had taken of himself. If they were enough to be a source of embarrassment for him then she _definitely_ didn't want to see them. Nope. No way. No thank you.

She grabbed a knife and started chopping onions and garlic for the salad. Where did the myth about vampires not liking garlic come from, she wondered. What a ludicrous weakness. Fire makes so much more sense...

A door upstairs slammed shut and a split second later, Alice stood in front of her. A split second after that, the diminutive girl weaseled the knife out of her hand and had everything chopped and ready to go before Bella could look down.

"Thanks?" Bella looked at her quizzically before mixing the ingredients together.

"You're welcome," Alice said simply. "I'd avoid handling sharp objects in a house full of vampires if I were you."

"Uh huh," Bella furrowed her eyebrows, wondering why Alice was cautioning her _now_ after she had handled scissors and knives in the house on numerous occasions in the past.

"It's never too late for safety!" Alice sang.

Was she implying...? Did she see...?

She shook her head. Best not to tread along paths not taken. With Alice, that wasn't just a philosophical adage but a concrete marker for avoiding headaches.

"Hurry up and eat, Bells!" Jasper called from the living room. "The chess set is ready."

"She's not drinking blood," Edward mumbled from the corner. "Humans savor their meals."

"I'll be done soon," Bella said. She worked on her dinner while the rest of the family made small talk so as to not make it obvious how much they still stared at her while she ate. Bella didn't mind though. She had gotten relatively used to it. Nevertheless, she finished the meal in front of her in minutes and made her way to the living room. The clock read 7:40.

"He's on his way home," Esme whispered behind her. Nodding, Bella thanked her and sat down in front of the game. Carlisle would be home soon, and then she could ask him if Charlie had come into the hospital and if they spoke. She had been asking him and Esme that same question increasingly more often over the weeks... and every day now since the seventh fire. That was the fire that destroyed a fellow student's house though no one was home at the time, thank god. Along with the house, the fire seemed to have ripped apart through all communication between Bella and Charlie. She hasn't seen him, much less spoken a word to him, since.

"Your move, Bells," Jasper said to her softly. She snapped out of her dark thoughts and positioned her knight.

Twenty minutes passed before everyone found their groove for the evening. Edward, as usual, retreated to his piano downstairs, and Bella enjoyed listening to the music rising through the floor; he really did play quite well. Emmett settled on the couch with his classic gameboy. Esme set to work on her laptop, no doubt exchanging emails with a client or a contractor. Alice and Rosalie were pouring over a huge pile of this month's fashion magazines from every corner of the globe. As long as they didn't make her be their human pin-up doll...she shuddered in disgust.

A typical quiet evening at the house. Bella was honestly a little surprised that they didn't tire of boredom. But then again, they could sit absolutely still for hours at a time, so maybe humans just had the wrong perspective on boredom and time.

"I'm home!" Carlisle shouted from the door.

Bella didn't move from her spot but she knew Jasper noticed her emotions. She really couldn't hide much of anything from him, something that both grated on and comforted her. In one way or another every person in this room _knew_ Bella, really knew her. Some people went about their entire lives without a single person truly knowing who they were deep down. Bella wasn't sure what good she did to deserve to avoid such an unenviable fate, but she was most certainly grateful. It gave her a warm and, yes, fuzzy feeling of security.

She continued to assemble her pieces on the board as she waited for Carlisle to enter the family room. Unlike the kids, he and Esme rarely sped through their routines. Finally, he stood in the doorway...but from the look exchanged between them the answer was no, again. She didn't need to ask it out loud, and he didn't need to spell it out either. Carlisle didn't see Charlie today. Or if he did, no prodding on his part could get the man to say a word about the daughter he was actively ignoring and, Bella feared, actively hating once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: No cliffhanger this time. Thought I'd spare you otherwise it would get trite.
> 
> I have been working so unbelievably hard this week that I really didn't get a chance to reply to all your awesome reviews from the last couple of chapters. I'll fix that soon enough, promise. I also couldn't use my arms for half the week because of some new crossfit classes. Really, I'm a menace to myself.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! More to come soon. Some action too :)


	58. Yearning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Like wine with cheese if you're so inclined, listen to "Same In Any Lingo" by Nancy Wilson to add some flavor to the last part of this chapter.

"Increase the magnification please," Edward asked politely.

Bella raised her eyebrows but granted his request. "Can't your eyes zoom in on their own and see way better than that microscope?"

Edward smiled. "They can, but that would be cheating."

"Edward the Honest," she smiled back.

"That's rather boring," he complained. Another slide went into place. "I'd prefer Edward the Intelligent."

"What, Edward the Humble isn't available?" She teased.

"Edward the Reflective works too," he said offhandedly as he replaced the next slide.

"I'll settle on Edward the Incorrigible."

He made a show of thinking about the narrowed his eyes playfully. "Fine," he sighed dramatically.

Bella rolled her eyes and continued to make notations in their lab journal. It was odd to witness such a cheerful Edward. His mood swings of late were enough to give her whiplash, but she nonetheless told herself to enjoy this uptick while it lasted. Edward still had his creepy moments. He still had his obstinately irritating moments. But since he'd largely stopped commenting on her relationship with Rosalie, she figured she could look past the rest and be as nice as she could to him. He was still painfully the odd man out in the Cullen house. It was truly a testament to how much the family opened its arms and made her feel like an integral part of their tight knit circle that she never felt like an outsider in their company. But as happy as that made her, she felt terrible that Edward had to put up with that position. Granted, much of the reasons why he was universally disliked by his siblings were the results of his own behavior. But still...Bella knew something of loneliness. She knew something about not fitting in inside one's own house.

Besides, when the pendulum swung towards this happy-seeming Edward, he was actually ok to talk to.

He moved on to the next part of the project, drawing reproductions of the cells they observed under different magnifications.

"Have you scheduled your exam date yet?" He asked.

"Yup. This weekend." The dreaded SATs. Well, dreaded to every other human in the school. What Bella dreaded the most was how hard it would be not to finish hours before everyone else.

"Still planning on a perfect score?"

She shrugged. "It's not unheard of. I checked."

He nodded and continued the drawings.

"How does your whole family get away with not taking the test along with everyone else?" That was something that mildly bugged her. Their covers seemed so precarious to her. What do they do if someone takes a picture of them? Decades ago, she could see how they were able to move from city to city without people recognizing them. But in this time? When everyone had a camera in their pocket and pictures uploaded to the internet lived on in immortality?

"We've built quite a few layers of protection over the years, Bella," he said, whispering now so the other students wouldn't hear. "If we had to leave town today we could be enrolled in any university of our choosing tomorrow. All the necessary paperwork, any documentation we might possibly need is relatively easy for us to come by."

"How?" Bella asked curiously.

"Money," he said simply. "And between myself, Alice and Jasper, well...few humans we come across can deny us what we want."

Except for me, she thought. Bella knew how frustrating Edward found her closed mind to be. She could empathize to a degree. Live a hundred years reading the worlds' brains like a book and then, poof, nothing from one of them? Yeah, she could kind of understand why he didn't like that very much. But she suspected that same quality in her was the one thing that could draw him out of whatever dark place he was keen on visiting these days. She liked to think he found conversing with her a refreshing experience. Pshh, getting a bit full of yourself aren't you Bella?

"So do you have any advice for Saturday?" She asked.

He smiled slightly. "Don't look around at the other students so you can pace yourself. The proctors will think you're cheating."

"Right," she sighed.

They continued to work quietly for a bit. There were a lot of cells to draw and label. After a while she noticed him tensing up. She turned when he rolled his eyes and let out an audible sigh.

"What's up?"

He sighed again and nudged his head to the table behind them. "Your friends' thoughts are particularly loud today. I don't usually mind but this subject is more...vexing than their usual fare."

"Oh?" Edward was usually so stoic when it came to people's less than polite thoughts. What could Lauren and Jessica be thinking of to irk him so?

"Prom," he explained. "Year after year, it never ceases to amaze me the amount of brain power you girls put into that ridiculous social function."

"Hey, don't lump me in with them. I didn't even know there was a prom till you mentioned it," she laughed.

That...was a lie.

It was silly. In the grand scheme of things, prom was probably the pettiest, most trivial subject to grace Bella's thoughts all year. But grace them it did. It's not that she cared much about the event itself. She had no desire to put on a fancy dress (barf), cover her face with sparkly powder or even be in the same room as most of the school's population. An event of that magnitude made Bella's stomach drop with apprehension.

She didn't want to show herself off that way. But...she did want to show off Rosalie.

It was perhaps the only truly shitty aspect of the relationship. How to explain what they had to the rest of the world? Bella had read up what she could find about their kind of relationship and understood that it usually gets better as you get older, that people are more open to different kinds of relationships when they've had a chance to mature and experience more of life. But this was high school. _Small town high school_. Bella couldn't begin to imagine the reactions Rosalie's simultaneous relationship with Emmett and herself would produce. Part of her didn't care. Part of her thought, _fuck 'em_. Why should those bastards have any influence over her being able to hold Rosalie's hand out in the open like she wanted to? But when she thought like this, another part of her would rear its ugly head and remind her of the abuse she already had to bear from the student population. God, the field day Jessica and Lauren would have if they found out.

Even if she found the courage and decided she didn't care, there was still the matter of the Cullens. A revelation like this would travel through town faster than even her legs could carry her. Could the Cullens afford that sort of negative attention, especially when they already had to fight off dark insinuation from much of the town over the relationships under their roof to begin with? And it wasn't just the Cullens. Bella herself had promised Charlie early on when she first moved in that she wouldn't draw any attention to herself. That, she thought, would _definitely_ be drawing attention to herself.

 _As if he'd even notice_ , she thought darkly.

It could've been worse. But it wasn't, largely thanks to Emmett who sympathized with her and Rosalie's predicament and had done all he could to make things easier on Bella. Whereas a year ago he and Rosalie would be all over each other no matter where they were, this year they weren't. Oh, they still held hands and kissed often. But they no longer made out heavily in the cafeteria for all to see. In fact, the few times during the day that Bella got to see them, Emmett would often wink and nudge Rosalie her way so they could have some semblance of 'together time.' Those minutes and lunch hour were the only things that got her through her day sometimes.

The idea of prom brought out her gag reflex, yes. But Bella wanted to dance with Rosalie. She wanted to kiss her in front of the whole world. She wanted to shout at all the stupid kids and all the stupid people she'd likely come across in the future that she was madly, deeply in love with Rosalie, and that she wouldn't be _her_ Rosalie if she wasn't madly, deeply in love with Emmett too.

"Will you be attending this year?" Edward asked.

"What?" Bella wasn't sure what he was talking about anymore, or if she had missed some part of the conversation.

"Prom. Will you be going?"

Bella picked up the red pencil to color in the nucleus. "I haven't given it much thought."

Edward studied her for a moment. "I don't think the school officials sell tickets in three's."

"Edward, don't start," she growled.

"I'm not trying to start anything," he said calmly. "Just pointing out the obvious. They do couple's photos at these things. You think they'll let Rosalie take two?"

"Jesus, Edward! You think something as trivial as prom is going to bother me?" She hissed quietly. "I don't need that kind of validation!"

"Fine," he rolled his eyes. "Forget validation. For practicality's sake however, what if you accompanied me?"

What?

"Excuse me?" She asked dubiously.

"You and Rosalie are obviously choosing not to publicize your...relationship," he shrugged. "So you can't act like a couple at prom. Assuming you want to go...I'd be happy to be your date."

What the fuck was he trying to pull?

She stared at him incredulously for a moment before she remembered to finish her drawing. "Well thanks for the offer, but that's ok." Then, in an effort not to hurt him too badly, she added, "Going with you will just add fuel to the rumors about us. I'll save you a dance if I do go, though."

He shrugged again. "It's your call, but I'm here if you change your mind."

The bell rang and she hurriedly put away the lab equipment and gathered her things. She might've been the first one out of the classroom if Jessica didn't beat her to it, blocking the door.

"What's the hurry?" Jessica smiled her usual fake smile reserved for people she publicly or privately disliked.

"Out of my fucking way, Jessica," Bella narrowed her eyes and tried to move past her.

"Bella! We don't use language like that in my classroom," Mr. Banner admonished her from behind. "I'm surprised at you."

"Sorry, Mr. Banner," Bella mumbled and turned to glare at Jessica.

"That's ok, Mr. Banner," Jessica replied smoothly. "Bella's just _on fire_ to go to her next class."

The way she said it made Bella's heart run cold. Jessica winked and walked away leaving her frozen in the doorway. Why did she use those words? Why _those_ specific words?

It's nothing, she told herself. It's a common enough phrasing. Right?

* * *

For the second time in less than a year, Emmett had to literally block his wife's way in the hallway to stop her from lunging 30 feet forward and crashing into Edward. Even the humans gave them a wider than usual berth. Rosalie was positively humming with pent-up anger.

"Jazz and I will deal with him," Alice said, watching Rosalie warily. "You two just find Bella."

"Thanks, Al," Emmett mumbled as he steered Rosalie, who was so full of rage she could barely take a step on her own, up the rarely used staircase. It looked like Bella had gone up to her old favorite haunt.

"Come out, come out Bella bear!" Emmett yelled playfully when they closed the roof access door behind them. "I can smell you...and you smell good! Yum yum!"

"Em..." Rosalie scolded, but Emmett just grinned and shook his head.

"Hey, it worked!" He said happily. "She laughed," and stuck out his tongue.

"I'm not depressed or anything," Bella said from behind her backpack which she was using as a pillow. "There's no need to pull out the magic tricks."

Neither he nor Rosalie must have looked very convinced, because Bella laughed after looking at their faces and said, "believe me, Edward asking me to prom does not make this a horrible day."

Emmett and Rosalie removed their backpacks and joined her on the ground. This was her favorite spot, he knew, because you could see the distant mountains without having to see (or be seen by) anyone in the parking lot below.

"I'll kill him," Rosalie growled.

"No she won't," Emmett reassured her. "But I don't think his Volvo is safe from her wrath anymore."

"You guys are making a bigger deal out of this than it deserves," Bella sighed.

"Maybe," Rosalie said softly, "but we should talk about it anyway. To be honest I haven't given prom any thoughts. We've gone to so many of them...it's all rather automatic."

"I don't care about prom," Bella mumbled. "I mean it! It's the bigger picture stuff that gets on my nerves."

"People suck," Emmett agreed, eloquently as always.

Rosalie squeezed his hand. "What would happen if we stopped giving a shit?" Emmett continued. "Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?"

"Uhh, people start talking and thinking about the Cullens more and more. Law of large numbers, Em. The more you're on people's minds, the more likely somebody will start asking the right questions, the more likely someone eventually figures out what you are."

"One: that is not the law of large numbers, smartypants. Two: I could live with that," Rosalie stated. They both turned to look at her. "Oh, nobody's going to figure anything out! They can wonder and gossip all they want. People have always refused to believe things that are right in front of them if it flies in the face of everything they know. There's always been and always will be crazies who'll believe anything, but it's never been enough to hurt our standing."

"You've moved for less before," Bella said quietly, looking down at her hands.

Emmett didn't miss the way Rosalie's face contorted in fear. He understood. Though not painted on his face the way it was for Rosalie, he too felt a stab of fear in his heart at the thought of having to leave his Bella Bear, unlikely as that was.

"Bella," Rosalie said slowly, enunciating each syllable. "We are never, _ever_ going to leave you. No matter what happens. I promise."

Emmett chuckled a little to lighten up the mood. "Not to mention it's a little late for Rosie here. She's kinda hooked on you, Bells. You're stuck with her."

Even as he said it, Emmett wondered if Bella really understood how true his words were. Did she truly comprehend what a mating bond entailed? That Rosalie was in this for the long haul? That Rosalie honestly _couldn't_ leave her no more than she could leave him?

Bella and Rosalie shared a look, and again Emmett was struck by the similarities between their relationship and his and Rosalie's. It shouldn't have come as a surprise, not really. He already knew that mated vampires rarely even needed to speak to each other to communicate how they felt. Before Bella he didn't think it was possible for a vampire and a human to share that kind of connection. But here they were. Irrefutable proof that a vampire could have more than one mate, and that one need not be a vampire to enjoy its peculiar benefits. Then again, Bella was such an anomaly herself that the normal rules that governed humans and vampires probably just didn't apply to her.

"Sweetie, if you want to 'come out', the family won't have any problems. We've faced much worse before," Rosalie said.

"It's not just you," Bella whispered. "Charlie..."

Rosalie snarled. "You owe him nothing! I've told you a million times. Just leave that place. Stay with us and you'll never have to worry about him again!"

"I promised him, Rose," she said sadly. "I promised."

"He promised to love you and protect you!" Rosalie shouted. Emmett touched her arm and she paused in order to calm down. "He promised to be a father the second you were born. He hasn't exactly kept his promises, has he?"

Bella said nothing, but it was clear from her demeanor that she wasn't convinced. In spite of everything, Charlie still meant a lot to Bella and she was determined not to screw anything up or give up on him in the year and a half she had left of high school.

"I'm not ready, Rose," Bella set her hand on Rosalie's lap and left it there. "And I'm not ready to give up on him either. I really don't care about prom but if I go...will you promise me a dance?"

Rosalie put her hand on top of Bella's and smiled softly. "I promise you a thousand."

Emmett smiled then cursed. "Damn it!"

Bella looked at him, shocked, but Rosalie shook her head and smiled in reassurance.

"No, not you," Emmett waved her off. "Jasper just called dibs on teaching you to dance. I wanted to do it! Not fair, Jazz!"

"Making assumptions, the lot of you," Bella teased. "Do you know how many ballroom dance books there are in any given library?"

"Oh god," Emmett laughed. "I better brush up then. Can't have you outclassing me."

Bella grinned and stuck out her tongue. She cuddled up closer to Rosalie who was only too happy to provide her a place to snuggle.

"Can we stay here the rest of the day?" Bella asked wistfully. "People really do suck."

Emmett and Rosalie looked at each other. He shrugged. Why not?

They made themselves comfortable around their backpacks and jackets. They maneuvered into place, somehow without Rosalie ever letting go of Emmett's hand or removing her arm from around Bella's shoulders. His wife turned to him, smiling softly, and whispered, "I love you," before resting her head on his shoulder. He smiled back but stayed silent. Rosalie understood his unspoken words without him needing to say them. He'd have to find a time to tell Bella too, because those words were meant for her as well. Maybe later while Rosalie worked on her truck, after he kicked her ass on the playstation, he'd tell her how much he hoped the world would change...that he couldn't wait for the day when he could walk down a crowded hall holding Rosalie's hand, with Bella holding the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note II: What do you think about the nitty gritty practicalities of Bella, Rosalie, and Emmett's relationship?


	59. Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note I: Well, now I've done it. I've broken my updating streak and left you all in the cold for 32 days. I have an excuse however. It's a good one...the best excuse really. I met someone! Aaaahhh! She's amazing and cute and sweet and wonderful and I'm flying in the sky and over the moon and walking on sunshine and writing run-on sentences because I'm so friggin happy I haven't been able to think about anything but her these last weeks and that's why I haven't updated in so long because I literally cannot keep her out of my thoughts and aaaaahhhh! Do you forgive me now? Of course you do, you guys rock. Oh, and I also moved, seriously, last week. It's my first solo apartment so the aaaaahhhh! is actually an exponential aaaaaaaahhhhh. Ok, Darcy is shutting up so you can read the chapter. (Aaaaah!)

"Wahoooo!"

Bella whooped in joy as she sped down the empty stretch of road on her motorcycle. The wind whipped through her hair, through her very skin. The more experienced Jacob kept himself several yards in front of her, but when they got past a tricky curve in the road Bella gunned it and passed him, laughing maniacally all the while.

"Be careful you wackjob!" Jacob shouted. "Slow down!"

"Wahoooo!" Bella ignored him and spend up faster. Was she being slightly careless? Yes, but she had studied the state's motorcycle driver's manual and had read up on everything having to do with this bike's particular engine and gear. So even though she really ought to go easy with her first time driving this unruly thing, Bella was having too much fun going really, really fast with the wind. It was almost like flying.

"Jesus Bella! Take it easy!" Jacob continued to shout behind her. "We've gone too far. Your dad patrols this area."

Hmm, all right Jake had a point there. While nothing would make her happier than a glimpse of her father, getting ticketed for speeding probably wasn't the best way to go about finally reconnecting with him. Bella stifled the anger she felt towards her father as she slowed down. She had to stamp down the fire that threatened to come out of her as well. _Fuck you Charlie_ , she thought.

The thick forest around them stopped its blurry, nondescript motion as they slowed to what felt like a crawl. Bella finally understood her vampire friends' inconsolable frustration at speeds below their liking. Flying fast always made her lose sense of time and place. For a life in which time stretched on indefinitely, losing yourself like that had to be extra special. They rounded another sharp curve before Bella spotted Rosalie's unmistakable red convertible on one side of the road, and Rosalie herself sitting with her arms crossed on the hood.

"Whoa!" Jacob exclaimed, surprised. "How'd she know we'd be coming this way?"

"I told her," Bella lied. Lucky she could fib on the spot. Bella made a mental note of their location. So this is where the treaty line was. She'd have to get Rosalie or someone else to show her exactly where to find the divide. Might come in handy someday.

"Hey Rose!" Bella turned off the ignition and after some trouble with the kickstand, parked it in front of the BMW and kissed her girlfriend. Her friend, in perfect Jacob fashion, "ooohed" and "awwwed" until she broke the kiss and glared at him.

"How are you, Jacob?" Rosalie asked, smiling.

"Can't complain," Jacob answered. As usual whenever he saw Rosalie, the teenager swooned a little in her presence. Bella chuckled to herself, knowing Jake really couldn't help it considering this was Rosalie Hale. She had to hand it to him though. Since the first time he laid eyes on Rosalie, during which he was a complete pile of goo, he managed to hold up on his own and speak with her without stumbling over his words. Not that it made any difference with the blonde...

"Everything ok? What's up?" Bella asked.

"You've lost track of time," Rosalie said. "I called but it went straight to voicemail. We need to go soon."

"Oh shoot!" Bella's phone had indeed died and she'd completely forgotten. "Sorry Jake, but I do have to go. We're going to Seattle today."

"Man, why can't I get a cool girlfriend like yours?" Jacob asked dramatically.

Rosalie smiled brilliantly. "You'll find her before you know it, Jake. You're quite the catch!"

Bella grinned under her breath as she watched Rosalie struggle to be so outwardly nice to the boy. His scent continued to get worse for her, she knew, but she maintained the act for Bella's sake. Bella squeezed her hand in appreciation for what she was doing. Maybe, just maybe when Jacob phases, maybe he'll remember this and not automatically succumb to the tribe's blind hatred for the Cullens.

"The truck is on the rez," She told her quietly. "I'll go get it and meet you at the house?"

"Ok," Rosalie nodded and kissed her again. Then, in a quiet whisper for her ears only she said, "You have no idea how hard it is for me not to bash him against a tree."

"Well thank you for not," Bella smiled and whispered back. "I'll reward you the next chance I get."

* * *

"Edward...Earth to Edward!"

"Hmm?"

Alice stared at her brother incredulously. Edward rarely, if ever spaced out like this. And given his gift, he was pretty much always aware of his mental surroundings. So the fact that she had to repeat herself to her all-knowing brother was rather astonishing in itself.

 _What are your plans for tonight_ , she mentally asked him again.

"Oh...I'm not sure. Haven't really decided."

No, he hasn't. Alice pursed her lips in mock annoyance but inside she really did feel annoyed. Edward hasn't made any goddamn decisions since Denali, and that was months ago! In all their years together Alice has never experienced so much time without a concrete vision of her quiet brother. It was starting to get on her nerves.

"I don't mean to annoy you," he said gently. "Not making decisions...not making plans...it helps me get her out of my thoughts."

Alice sighed but nodded her understanding. "I'm sorry this is so hard on you."

"Thank you," he said quietly.

Alice did feel a little bad for him. Bella was not his mate, that she knew without a doubt. But Edward's feelings, misguided they may be, were not illegitimate. Edward did feel something for the human. Seeing her everyday, seeing how utterly happy she was with someone else must be incredibly hard for him. But along with her pity, Alice felt deep caution. Jasper had alerted her to Edward's constant mood shifts. There were days when he acted like his old self, like the favorite brother he used to be. On other days like today, he would be so distracted...almost like he was busy listening to conversations no one else could hear which, of course he probably was. But he'd had 100 years to balance the thoughts he heard with what was actually said. There was no reason for him to suddenly lose himself in the minds around him, if that was indeed the cause of his mental truancy.

Then there were the days when Jasper watched him like a hawk. On those days, Jasper confided in her, Edward's emotions were so poisonous, so turbulent that he and Alice would nonchalantly (but constantly) check in on Bella to make sure she was all right, with one of their family members, or in La Push. Edward never made plans...but that only served to worry Alice and Jasper more.

All of these thoughts flew through Alice's mind in the blink of an eye. Layered on top of them, she deftly thought of Bugs Bunny, Donald Duck, and her favorite, Alice in Wonderland. She had grown so accustomed to hiding her thoughts from her brother it was second nature by now.

"Do we need to have another conversation?" Alice gave him a look. Friendly...but it contained a hint of a warning too.

"No," He replied and looked away. "You made your point the last time."

Alice frowned but not unkindly. "You'll find your mate someday, Edward."

He nodded once then moved to stand by the big windows in the living room. Alice watched him scan the horizon slowly. She was wrong about Edward making plans. Her brother had made countless decisions over the last few months...decisions about Bella. Alice had seen wisps of 'what-ifs' that betrayed Edward's continuing struggle with his feelings for the human. What if he knocked on her door? What if he offered to drive her to school? What if he slipped her a note in biology class? What if he outed the real nature of her relationship to Charlie? So many ephemeral scenarios that came and went like smoke. But like smoke, they never materialized into anything solid. As her nimble mind ran through pop song after pop song, she wondered, to what end? Edward's non-plans had to end someday. Both she and Jasper, when away from their all-knowing brother, often wondered out loud to each other...will Edward manage to close this book that had no beginning or middle? Or will his self-control finally disintegrate? And if so, what course of action will he finally take?

* * *

"Rosalie, this is crazy even for you," Bella shook her head in amazement.

Rosalie rolled her eyes but smiled mischievously. "Remind me to tell you about the time Alice and I snuck into the '62 World's Fair. This is nothing."

"Why did you have to sneak in?" Bella searched her memory for anything she might have read about the subject. Bingo. "That was right here in Seattle."

"The art," Rosalie replied simply. "There was a Georgia O'Keeffe gallery that we wanted to see in private."

"I didn't know you were into art," Bella said, surprised. That was more of Alice's thing, or so she always thought.

"I'm into all beautiful things," she said, looking at her. Bella blushed and met her eyes. She looked away, grateful to have something on which to concentrate. A few seconds later, the metal grate on the building's rooftop unfastened and shot open. She held open her arms for Rosalie, who stepped forward without a word, and the two of them gently floated down the long shaft through the building.

The Seattle Public Library was long closed for the night, but Rosalie assured Bella they could come and go without getting caught. Still, Bella couldn't help feeling some apprehension. She had never dared to sneak into such a big library before. Buildings like this must have night security guards, motion sensors, cameras.

"All disabled," Rosalie responded smoothly when Bella voiced her concern. "And no one's gonna see us move around in here. Turn over there."

Bella followed Rosalie's verbal directions and navigated through the building's ventilation system for another five minutes until the blonde directed her to open another closed grate.

"Oh wow," Bella breathed in awe at the sight before her when they finally tumbled out.

They were standing in the corner of a huge atrium. The spacious interior stretched out before them, aisles and aisles of stuffed shelves, couches, tables and computers spread out along the biggest room Bella had ever seen. But that wasn't what was making her drop her jaw. Bella tilted her head to look at the ceiling high above them. It was made of glass. Hundreds of diamond-shaped panes of glass laid out in a slant that must have encompassed three or more stories all by itself.

Next to her, Rosalie smiled as she took in her lover's gobsmacked expression. She made a good choice coming here. Bella had visited hundreds of small libraries but never risked venturing to bigger towns, let alone a city as big as Seattle. She circled her from behind and whispered in her ear, "come on."

It took ten more minutes of careful treading along paths Rosalie knew had no cameras. They had to stop a few times before she could give the all clear when her senses told her the human guards had moved off. But they finally reached their destination.

"Um, wow."

 _She'd better be wowed_ , Rosalie thought smugly. She had to sneak out of the opera without Bella noticing an hour ago to set it all up. In a small nook surrounded by floor-to-ceiling shelves full of books, Rosalie had put together an elaborate picnic dinner for the two-well, for Bella.

"When did you do this?" Bella asked, looking at the lit candles.

"I'm a woman of many talents, Ms. Swan," she whispered. "Esme says I did a great job with the saffron chicken. Hopefully you'll agree."

"Er…"

"I'm kidding," Rosalie sighed. "She cooked them, not me."

Bella giggled and pulled her down to the blanket with her. "Does it really bother you that you suck at something?" She asked her.

Rosalie shrugged but did narrow her eyes in mock grouchiness. "I suppose I make up for it in other ways," she let the words hang as she softly caressed Bella's skin underneath the hem of her shirt. The young girl smiled gently and leaned up to kiss her, before her hunger got the best of her and she attacked the food in the basket.

The blonde watched with her usual cocktail of fascination and apprehension. Fascination because it had been decades since she herself had eaten human food. Apprehension because her thoughts always turned to Bella's turning whenever her humanity stood out in stark detail, as it did now while she chewed on her chicken.

Having a human mate changed her when nothing in 70 years had. It boiled down so simply really. Rosalie needed Bella. That was all. Rosalie, who was cursed with eternal life, could no longer envision a future without both Emmett and Bella by her side. Was it a profoundly selfish thing to end Bella's natural life for the sake of her own happiness? Maybe, but...but surely the girl understood...Surely, casting her lot with their family, surely that was an indication that she would want eternity too…

"What's up?" Bella watched her carefully. She could always tell when Rosalie was in deep in thought over a serious matter.

Rosalie shook her head lightly and smiled. Not today, she thought. Her smile wavered as she answered, "Jacob will start changing any day now. He had a slight fever today."

Bella shivered and looked down. "Is there any hope?" She asked quietly.

"He's a good kid," Rosalie answered. "No I still can't stand his or any of their existence. But he'll be the only one that was on good terms with the family before his change. And he loves you in his own way. That has to count for something…"

Bella put down her food and fell into her arms. "That reminds me," she said between kisses. "I promised you a reward."

Well that's certainly worth putting up with that dog's stench, Rosalie thought as Bella's hands made their way to the front of her pants.

* * *

**Later that night:**

Bella woke up at 3:30 in the morning, the last vestige of a strange dream floating away before she could decipher it. What had awoken her? She listened. Outside the walls of her room in the Cullens' home, she could hear her family's voices but not what was being said. A moment later, Rosalie and Emmett entered the room looking worried.

"What's going on?" Bella asked.

"Your dad's on his way," Emmett answered. The words hardly left his mouth when a loud and frantic knock sounded from the front door.

"Bella, wait!"

But she was already gone. Though she couldn't put on her full speed indoors, she managed to make it down the stairs faster than any human would have and reached the door just as Esme and Alice did.

They opened it.

"Where is she?!" Charlie practically screamed. Bella stopped, startled at his tone.

"Chief Swan," Esme answered, unaffected. "How can we-"

"Where is she?!"

"I'm right here Da-Charlie," Bella swallowed hard and stepped forward. "What's...wrong?"

The words hung in the air as she took in her father's appearance. He looked terrible. Charlie looked as if he hadn't slept in days. His face was pale, his hair unkempt, and his eyes held the look of a desperate man.

Charlie too stared at her. Gone was any of the kindness Bella still pictured etched on his face. He looked livid.

"Come with me," He spat and reached for her.

Esme moved to stand between the two. "Chief, she's not going anywhere. It's the middle of the night!"

"I need my daughter to come home with me, Mrs. Cullen," Charlie said warningly.

"Which home would that be?" Esme's voice carried a warning of its own. "Your house or her garden shed?"

Charlie's fists clenched as he stared at the woman who would not budge from her place between him and Bella.

"Charlie, please tell me what's wrong," Bella pleaded quietly.

"There was an explosion," Charlie said slowly. "In La Push. There was a fatality."

Bella's face turned white. "Jake? Mr. Black?" She asked in panic. Oh god!

Charlie gave her a strange look. "They're fine. Harry Clearwater is dead."

 _Jake is ok. Jake is ok._ The relief must have shown on her face because Charlie's countenance changed once again.

"Where were you an hour ago?" He whispered.

Bella stared at him in disbelief. Was he really asking her this? In front of the Cullens?

"R-right here," she stuttered.

"Where were you an hour ago, Bella?" He asked again, growing angrier by the second.

"She was right here, as she told you," Esme said. Her face, usually full of compassion and kindness, was a mask of pent-up anger tonight. Even Charlie looked taken aback when he turned to look at her. "With us, _her family_ , the whole time. If that's all, Chief, we'd all like to go back to sleep."

Before he could reply, she ushered him out the door and shut it firmly when he passed the threshold.

They stood frozen at the bottom of the stairs for a long time. By then, Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett had joined them.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Esme whispered emotionally. "His behavior was unacceptable."

But Bella wasn't listening. Something was echoing in her mind...a memory? No, it was too blurry. A dream. That's it. It was something from the dream from which Charlie's arrival had knocked her out.

She had dreamt of fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun Dun.
> 
> Author's note II: I found the perfect song for a previous chapter, Flight. It's "Girl Rising Main Theme" by Lorne Balfe (composer of Assassin's Creed III!)
> 
> Author's note III: On another note, I can't believe I've made it this far. Over 150,000 words...Holy shit. When I started writing this, I thought eh, maybe I could get there. I'm fucking there! Or we, I should say, are fucking there! Thank you you all so much for following, favoriting, reviewing, and above all for reading. This story will NOT go on hiatus. I have a very clear outline of what will come and will not rest until Gifted is finito. Admittedly I might not be able to resume the 5-7 day update schedule I was on all summer, but I WILL update as frequently as I can manage.


	60. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Listen to Battlestar Galactica's "Something Dark is Coming" composed by Bear McCreary. Even the title is perfect, yeesh.

The silence permeated all around her in a way that was louder than Bella, all of nine years old, had ever heard. It was so quiet. All was still and life, with all its movements and noise, was for whatever reason, gone. The silence seemed to last an eternity when at last, far away at first, then closer and closer, sirens began to sound in the night.

"Mommy?"

She jolted upright, waking and cursing herself for falling asleep. Damn it!

Three days. Bella's eyes had remained open for the last three days without taking a break until now. Whenever she faltered...whenever her body got the best of her and her blink lasted a second longer than it should have, she would see flames. Or she would imagine the flames. Or...at this point Bella couldn't distinguish between what she knew she saw and what she thought she saw. She'd long felt the pull to close her eyes but had done a fine job resisting. But now, the physical signs of her exhaustion were impossible to hide from those around her.

"Miss Swan," said Mr. Banner in a low voice. "Please stay for a few minutes after class."

Bella was so tired she didn't hear her teacher at first. Were it not for Edward nudging her softly she might have ignored him all together. She nodded and walked to the equipment cabinet to return her supplies. To her surprise, Jessica opened the cabinet door for her.

"Thanks," Bella mumbled, too tired to generate her usual 'fuck off' mask. Her mind wandered again while she carefully put away her things. She couldn't avoid sleep forever. Unlike her immortal friends, Bella's body contained living tissue and nerves that needed to rest. Her gifts did not take away from her humanity...a blessing usually, but now a curse. If she was a vampire, she couldn't help thinking, she wouldn't need to sleep. She would be able to keep her eyes open. She would be able to keep her mind focused on the here and now.

Did she really start all those fires? Why not, she answered herself for the thousandth time. She'd long been able to light the spark without ever laying eyes on it. If she could incinerate a box and a living creature's heart without seeing them, why couldn't she be the mysterious arsonist that has the town on edge? Did it really matter that she was usually asleep during the fires? Fire was such a deep-rooted part of Bella now. All the hard work of containing it...what if all that did was make it so easy to turn on and off that her body could do it automatically even in her sleep?

"Bella, do you know why I asked you to stay today?"

"What?" Bella shook her head and tried to concentrate on Mr. Banner's face. He just asked her something.

He sighed and leaned back on his desk. Bella looked around and realized the class had already emptied. When had that happened?

"Bella, you fell asleep in my class twice this week. This assignment," he pointed to the paper in his hand, "is illegible. And according to your other teachers, this behavior goes on in their classrooms as well."

Bella stayed quiet. Her experience with teachers was that they'd be satisfied if you nodded a few times, admitted fault and apologized. God knows she'd been reprimanded enough in her younger days when she involuntarily burned a strand of some kid's hair or burned a hole in someone's jeans. Besides, she couldn't exactly explain to her well-meaning teacher why her body was screaming for rest.

"I'm very sorry, Mr. Banner," she said quietly.

Her teacher sighed. "See that this doesn't happen again. In any of your classes."

She nodded and internally wondered how she'd ever fulfill that promise. She couldn't stay awake forever. But there was no way she'd let herself fall into a deep slumber either…

"Are you going to get that?"

Huh?

"Your phone," he sighed dramatically but no sooner had he pointed to her pocket then it started ringing again. And again. And again. Bella looked down at her screen, grateful for any distraction.

_Liar, liar. Pants on fire!_

She read the message again, unsure what to make of it. The number, a Seattle area code, was not recognizable.

_Liar, liar. Pants on fire!_

The same message landed in her inbox. Again and again and again. 6 so far just while she stood there to read over the phone. She turned off the ringer.

"Mr. Banner, may I please go to my next class now?" She asked shakily.

He paused only briefly before he pulled out a pass from his desk and gave it to her. "You've been my top student all year, Bella," he said gently. "Please take care of yourself so that you remain there."

* * *

On her way to the cafeteria, Bella decided to take a chance and look at her phone again. Over the last hour she had lost count of the number of times it buzzed in her pocket and had finally given up and turned even the vibrator off just to stop the looks her classmates kept giving her.

39 more messages.

_Liar, liar. Pants on fire._

Bella was about to slam her locker shut but a diminutive (and a surprisingly strong one to any onlookers) prevented its close with a super strength hand.

"Why does my favorite human look as if the world were about to end?" Alice asked, leaning back into Jasper's chest.

"What?"

Alice gave her a funny look before turning to Jasper. "I thought humans started losing their hearing later in life."

Jasper smiled lovingly for Alice's sake, but kept his gentle, concerned eyes on Bella who sighed and tried, to no avail, to tone down her mounting panic at the messages in her phone and the overall weariness that impregnated every inch of her body. Jasper cocked his eyebrow as if to say, _you think that'll fool me?_

"Bella..." Jasper started. His worry washed over Alice who stopped smiling when she saw how exhausted their friend appeared. She gingerly took her hand while Jasper wrapped a strong arm around Bella's shoulders and walked with her down the hall, ignoring the curious looks from their classmates at the display.

"We promised Rosalie to look out for you," Jasper sighed. "She's going to kill us, you realize that."

Rosalie, whose hunting frequency had increased dramatically over the last couple of months, would be returning tonight. The Cullens' usual hunting ground was teeming with life, but even it couldn't sustain Rosalie's ballooning frenzy without drawing attention or seriously affecting its population. So Rosalie had little choice but to travel further and longer to get her fill.

"Trouble sleeping is hardly life threatening, Jazz," Bella mumbled. But she worried over Rosalie's return as well. Bella would be unable to fake her slumber with the blonde, who would see through whatever fibs Bella made up and would probably throw a fit when she found out her reasons for not sleeping.

Hell, all of them would throw a fit if they found out. She couldn't avoid them forever after all, least of all Esme.

The three of them joined Edward at their usual table after they bought themselves some lunch; a necessity for Bella, a performance for the Cullens. The most melancholy member of the family looked even more subdued than usual. The purple circles under Edward's eyes looked more pronounced than Bella had ever seen. Despite her own fatigue, she felt a flash of worry for him as she wondered what was keeping him off his balance.

Alice and Jasper, as they had done the past two days, kept the conversation flowing between the three of them, with Edward occasionally pitching in his two cents. Alice, horrified that Bella had yet to start thinking about her prom dress, was mouthing off in shock when the tell-tale signs of a vision appeared on her face. The girl was so good at transitioning out of them, Bella barely blinked when she picked up where she left off, making plans for a massive shopping trip. But a few minutes later, Bella picked up on an unmistakable gloom that had suddenly descended over Alice and Jasper. Their faces flashed with anger.

"What is it?" Bella whispered worriedly. "Are Rosalie and Emmett ok?"

"They're fine," Alice said quickly. "Nothing's wro-"

"She should know," Edward interrupted. "Or she'll be blindsided by it."

"Edward," Alice hissed. "I don't-"

"He's right, hon." Jasper put a hand on his wife's. "Let her listen."

"What's going on?" Bella sat up and fought the panic from rising up her throat. Pictures of Rosalie in dire straits flooded her mind. But what could harm an immortal? The wolves? Jacob?!

Jasper shook his head. He met her eyes and guided her questioning gaze across the cafeteria about fifty feet away...where Mike, Jessica, and Lauren sat.

Bella's ears were nothing like the Vampires'. While they could hear, literally, everything in the school without thinking about it, Bella had to tell her senses to focus. She had to ask the air in the room to deliver the sounds she wanted to hear, had to work with it to parse out what she wanted from the noise surrounding it. It was not a difficult task, but it did not come naturally to her. Listening to her friends' soft, lightning fast whispers was the only aspect of this skill that she truly had down automatically.

So Bella extended her hearing, weaving through talks of tonight's big basketball game, prom, parents' latest arguments, and troubles with assignments until she found and latched onto Jessica's annoying voice.

"...Mr. Swan kicked me out pretty fast when I mentioned it. He was kind of a jerk actually."

"Duh," Mike tisked. "His wife did die in the fire. You could've been a little gentler about it."

"Oh really?" Jessica sounded annoyed and a little embarrassed. "What would you have said, smartass?"

"'Mr. Swan, why is it that your daughter is the sole survivor of a fire that killed hundreds of people, and is the fact that she's also a raging pyromaniac have something to do with said fire?'" He blurted before he broke down snorting. "Oh I would have so asked it like that!" He laughed again.

Lauren drummed her fingers on the table, eying her friends with a mixture of disbelief and irritation. "It doesn't matter. He proved us right didn't he?" she said smugly. "By not giving us a clear answer, it's obvious she had something to do with it."

"Why do we care again?" Mike sighed, looking bored.

"Are you really that stupid?" Lauren asked. "Kyle's house was next door to mine, dumbass. And your parent's store? And Jessica's mom worked at the Rite Aid before it went down. She could've killed any of us!"

"Yeah but how do we prove it?" Jessica whined. "Her dad'll just keep protecting her."

"Her dad's not the only cop in town," Lauren said. "I bet he wouldn't be able to keep things hush hush if that teacher called the school. What was her name again?"

"Mrs. Cross," Jessica answered. "That's a great idea! Crap, she wouldn't shut up about her. I hope our teachers have shorter memories than that."

"Ditto," Mike agreed. "Hey, you guys coming to the game tonight? Coach said I'll be starting!"

"Wouldn't miss it!" Jessica gushed. "I even made the girls do a cheer just for you..."

Bella's stomach tightened so painfully she felt sick. How? How?!

"They're smarter than I gave them credit for," Edward said. "I believe they followed the same trail Alice did."

"Those articles are all public record, Bells," Alice whispered. "And it doesn't take a genius to find your old teachers in a school yearbook..."

"It doesn't mean anything," Jasper added. "Nobody's gonna believe anything they say. They'll find the arsonist and this will all blow over."

Except...finding the arsonist will confirm everything. Lauren's words came back to the forefront of her mind. Three fires with a connection to her three least favorite people? That couldn't be a coincidence. And what of the other blazes? What about those incidents came back to Bella? For there had to be something. There had to-

BOOM!

A wave of movement in the big room as everyone scrambled from their seats. Then confusion, chatter, surprise, panic. Bella's reaction time, dismal from lack of sleep, kept her still at her seat though Alice, Jasper, and even Edward had stood protectively around her the second it happened.

There was nothing to protect her from however. The awful noise came from outside the school. As the students and teacher came to this same realization, everyone in the room rushed to the windows in a flurry of movement. Bella, adrenaline coursing through her veins, joined them at the far end.

Black smoke billowed from the forest adjacent to their school. The fire generated by the explosion was small but strong, burning brightly through the foliage dangerously close to the building. The sirens sounded almost immediately from the other side of town, and it was with a stomach-churning feeling that Bella realized the trucks wouldn't get here before the flames did. Before she could think of anything else, before she could really stop and let it sink that she had probably set off this explosion, that she had set off all the explosions of the past three months, that she was exactly what her father had suspected all along, and that she had killed, once again, an innocent human being...before Bella had time to digest any of this, she quickly and expertly tempered the flames until they all but disappeared by the time the fire trucks thudded to a stop on front of the school.

Surrounded by the din of the excitable students at the close call they all experienced, Bella backed herself away into a corner far away from the windows. Automatically, she pulled her phone from her pocket.

102 new messages. The same one, every one...except the last.

_Destruction be your only goal_

_For you to vent your jealous wrath_

_On gentle life with caring soul_

_And human victims to console:_

_As you are none, but psychopath._

She looked up and her eyes met Jessica's. The girl stared her down, as did Lauren and Mike next to her. Further down, Edward too watched her carefully, eyes veering to the phone clutched tightly in her shaking hands.

Who was sending these?! Bella's anger burned so brightly her phone should've melted right then and there. But it didn't. Instead, she caught a light on the screen in her peripheral vision. Another message.

_Fire! Fire! Ferocious fire!_

_You restless wall of flame._

_Fire! Fire! Roaring higher!_

_Your fury to never tame._

Where were Jessica's hands? Did she just send that? Or Lauren? Edward? She looked back at the boy whose behavior bewildered her since she met him. He could text at vampire speeds without her ever seeing. He could do it right in front of her and she would never know. He could...

Another message.

_7\. 7. 5._

Bella looked at the numbers again, confused.

_7\. 7. 5._

Again the texts poured in.

_7\. 7. 5._

_7\. 7. 5._

_7\. 7. 5._

What did all this mean?! What is 775? WHO was sending her these? And how did they know it was Bella starting the fires before even she did?!

"Bella!" Alice appeared in front of her. "What's wrong with your phone?"

"Nothing," Bella lied smoothly and put her phone away. "Is anyone hurt out there?"

"No," she whispered. "Nice job putting it out by the way. That was kind of close though. Carlisle will give you a talking to about that. But nobody noticed a thing."

Unbelievable. They were too blinded to see. All of them. Too blinded by their love for her to see that she was no less a monster than she was on that day with the poor squirrel. Or the day hundreds of people died in an instant. Here in Forks, homes and livelihoods were ruined because of her. A life, Harry Clearwater, was in ashes because of her. The school could be next. Or the Cullens' home. Or her father's.

Her father's home...

"I need to go," Bella gulped out the words as she swallowed rising bile. "Exhausted. Gonna sleep for the rest of the day."

"Ok," Alice replied quizzically, obviously trying and failing to see her future. What would she see if she could, Bella wondered briefly before the panic overwhelmed her senses once again.

She left her car in the lot, choosing instead to run as fast as she could across town on her own two impossibly fast legs. She made it in less than a minute. In open ground, Bella was unstoppable after all. She skipped right past her shed for she had no intention of sleeping like she told Alice. The house stood before her, tall and quiet, but Bella's heart thudded in her chest like never before.

The key lay in the bottom of her bag pack, never before used. She pulled it out now and inserted it into the lock of her father's front door.

The number on the door read 775.

* * *

Noise from the TV.

Past the entryway, into the living room...signs of a scuffle.

A broken vase.

An overturned armchair.

The patio door glass shattered.

Banged up and laying on its side, a wheelchair, one wheel still spinning.

Charlie on the ground, face down, his hands in his own cuffs behind him.

"Charlie!" Bella cried out and ran forward.

Then everything turned to darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Verses from 'Fire Ferocious' by Mark R. Slaughter.


	61. Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

When she was very small, Bella took to playing hide and seek with herself. She favored small closets, and would hide in there for hours...ironic now that Bella could no longer stand such enclosed spaces. But little Bella thought nothing then of sitting in the dark for hours on end. Unbeknownst to her mother and father, she didn't just daydream or read by flashlight in there. She lit sparks. In the darkness, her heart whooped in joy every time the interior of the closet shone from the brightness of her fire, however briefly. Among those shadows, she _knew_ she did something special. She knew that _she_ was special.

* * *

It had to be the smell. That was the first thing Bella noticed when she came out of unconsciousness. The smell hit her like a prickly train, so strong and so strange that Bella concluded it was what woke her up. And so the question she asked herself over and over as she drifted back to awareness wasn't how she ended up here, why she couldn't see anything, or who did this to her, but instead what on earth that horrible smell was.

That question, and all other questions ringing in the back of her mind disappeared as soon as she tried to move.

 _Shit!_ She thought.

Bella bit back a whimper as she spent the next five minutes learning how to breathe all over again. Her chest felt as though it had been sat upon by an elephant. When she tried to move her left arm, she concluded the hypothetical elephant must have pierced it with its tusk too, that's how much it hurt. Definitely broken, she thought, and bleeding heavily too judging by how wet the floor was beneath her.

After the initial shock of the pain, she calmed down enough to take visual stock of her surroundings...only she couldn't see a damn thing. It was dark. Not pitch black but close. Wherever she was, it was cluttered to the hilt too. She could make out big shapes of what looked like boxes, though there were some odd shapes here and there too. Beyond that, Bella couldn't tell anything else. She had no idea where she was, except that she was clearly inside, and wherever this was it smelled awful.

Then she remembered.

Charlie!

Was he in here? Was he even alive? The memory of him tied up and unconscious on the ground in his own home overrode all caution for her body's condition and she sat up, ignored the pain, and tried to stand. It was excruciating work, but after huffing and puffing for a good solid minute she managed to stand upright and lean back onto something. Ok, she thought, now let's see about brightening up this place.

Since training with Carlisle, Bella had gotten accustomed to particular hand movements she employed to call on her fire. It wasn't actually necessary, especially now that she'd mastered it. But back then it helped to assign a command to a certain hand movement. For example when she wanted to create a ball of fire in her hand, she'd ball up the fist in question before opening up her palm quickly. When she wanted to push a bit of fire away from her, it helped to actually push her hand out as well as if the fire was a physical object she was manipulating. None of this was required anymore of course but old habits die hard.

Without thinking, she put her hand out, balled her fist and was about to open it when-

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Bella froze. In the silence of this still room, the man's voice sounded so crystal clear it may well be an inch from her ear. She inched her head from side to side, her eyes scanning the dark expanse before her. But no...the voice stayed disembodied.

Light. She needed to see! Again, she shifted, preparing to light a spark.

"I strongly advise you _not_ to start a fire. The result would be...not to your liking, I'm afraid," said the voice. She was struck by the courtesy in this man's voice. Despite her knowing instinctively that she was in a very bad situation, Bella still felt a strange calm as the man spoke.

"Who are you?" She asked. "And why can't I start a fire?"

She couldn't see him, but his voice took on such a quality that he had to be smiling.

"I'm a great admirer of yours, Bella," he said. "A great admirer. As for why you can't start a fire...well so you can't hurt me for once, though, I expect you won't be bothered by that. More importantly however, because I've doused the room in gasoline."

Bella paused. But this man was right. The smell...of course...She brought her arm to her face and winced. What she had thought was blood before was in fact an obscene amount of gasoline. Bella was saturated in it. So was the floor. So was whatever she was leaning on. She suspected the entire room and every object in it was swimming in the flammable liquid.

Clever, but rather futile. A fire in this room would do great damage, but not to her. What was the point of this? Charlie, she reminded herself. If this man hurt Charlie…

"What have to you done to my father?" She asked, anger rising in her voice.

"Your father?" The man laughed. "After everything he's put you through, you still refer to him as your father? Curious...you are quite curious."

"What have you done to him?!" She shouted.

"He hasn't been harmed," he said calmly. "Not permanently, anyway. It was difficult, I admit. The urge to take his life was so strong. You have no idea how strong…" He paused as if reminiscing on something. Bella had a bad feeling about what. "But you're my prize, young Bella, not he. If there's one thing I can do, it's maintain my focus. And you, my dear, have been my focus for quite some time."

Charlie's all right. She had no reason to trust this man, but her instincts told her he was telling the truth. Her father was most likely still at home where she left him.

"That said," he continued. "His life still hangs in the balance I'm afraid. He could go back to work tomorrow…or he could end up in a mortician's freezer. That will be up to you."

Inside herself, Bella felt a great anger stirring. She felt it rise from her battered chest and reach her fingers and toes until she was buzzing with a great sense of rage. "It's you, isn't it?" Her voice shook with hatred. "You're the arsonist."

"I am," he smiled again, his voice full of sickening glee. "Oh it was such great fun. Not my usual style. In fact it was my first time resorting to such...barbaric...tactics. But it couldn't be helped, could it? You're such an unusual find. It was inevitable now that I think of it...How else could I get your attention without attracting your...fascinating friends?"

He knew about the Cullens. Oh god, Bella thought, her blood freezing in her veins. This man knew...somehow, he knew who and what they were. How?! How had they not seen this? How had Alice not seen?

"Who are you?" Bella felt real fear for the first time. The damage this man could do…

"A great admirer," he said again. "But I think it is fair for us to meet, at last, face to face."

A barely audible sound 10, maybe 15 feet in front of her. Odd that other than his voice, she had yet to hear him move, even breathe before this moment. But Bella had no time to ponder on this because a moment later a familiar sound filled the room. A zippo lighter lit. Though it was a small light it was still bright, and Bella's eyes had to adjust despite its short reach. The man stepped closer and closer until she could finally see his face.

Her heart pounded as the fear overflowed in her gut.

The man in front of her wasn't a man at all. He was a vampire. One second was all Bella needed to know he wasn't of the same stock as the Cullens. While her family always struck as her as _more_ than human, this man, this vampire was decidedly _less_. His sallow skin, burgundy eyes, and even the smooth feral way he walked screamed danger. It screamed 'killer.'

"Bella Swan," he bowed slightly. "My name is James."

_Don't show him you're afraid. Don't show him you're afraid._

But of course he could see she was afraid. Her body betrayed her. The heart, the sweat, the shivering...these things were obvious to the observant human. What chance did she have to preserve her dignity in front of this vampire who could hear her escalating heartbeat from a mile away? Not a chance in hell that's what.

"Where's Charlie?" She whispered, for now she wasn't so sure that he really was safe.

"You have my word he'll remain safe as long as you cooperate," James said softly. "But...I must warn you. And you'll only receive one warning, Bella. Your father is not alone. Should you decide to be foolish and use those wonderful gifts on me, I'm afraid your father's life will be forfeit. See this phone?" He lifted his hand to show her. "If for any reason I'm not able to send a message to my friends who are keeping dear Charlie company, he'll be their next meal. They're so hungry, you see. It would only be fair…"

Friends. More vampires. Vampires who were watching and listening to Charlie's strong heartbeat right this second. How on earth would she get out of this mess?

"Seems strange to gamble your life like that," Bella feigned confidence. "What if I decide I don't care about Charlie? You'd burn in seconds."

James smiled and walked closer until he was only inches from her face. "You won't."

Oh yes I will, Bella thought. Get rid of that cretin and run as fast as she could back home...They may be deadly, but so is she.

As if reading the determination in her eyes, James suddenly backed away with vampire speed. It was so quick Bella couldn't see where he'd gone, only where he'd been. The lighter's faint light too went out of sight.

"You humans are so simple-minded," he laughed. When he spoke again his voice came from another direction. "But I guess that's what makes you so fun to play with. You disappoint me, Bella. Where's your intellect? Where's your curiosity? Would you really rather destroy me now than hear what I have to say? Don't you want to know why you're here? How you came to my attention?"

"No," Bella growled. "I don't."

"Be careful," he whispered from yet another corner of the room. "Or I'll tire of this game and drain you before you have a chance to regret it. You're playing under _my_ rules, Bella."

He was making it impossible for her to zero in on him, she realized. James was moving with dizzying, vampire speeds around the room so she couldn't light him up without burning the whole room. What is this place? The clutter. The darkness. A house? Someone's attic or basement? There was no noise though, or any signs of life that Bella could detect.

Listen! Bella could've kicked herself for forgetting what she could do. She extended her senses and listened. This was a big building. Not a home at all. Beyond these walls and many more, she came upon a large body of people. They were talking, shouting, screaming. A curious squeaking every few seconds. And they were right on top of the room.

James laughed again as realization dawned on her face. "My rules, Bella."

They were in the high school. All those people talking, shouting, the squeaky noises. The basketball game. And judging from the direction of the sounds…James had taken her to some sort of storage room...directly beneath the floor of the gymnasium.

"I wonder what would happen if this room gave way," James sang. "How many kiddies would burn away?"

How many...God, she felt sick. Don't lose control, don't lose control, she told herself. _You cannot lose control._

"Fine," she said slowly. "What do you want?"

He sighed. Because of his erratic movements, the sound came from all around her. "You," he said simply. "I want you."

She gulped. "You want...to drink my blood, you mean?" Please let that be all, she thought.

"What else would I want from a human?" He giggled. "It'll be quite the chase once your piss-drinking coven figures it out. Oh I haven't had a good chase in a long time."

"You're doing this for the adrenaline rush?" Bella asked in disbelief. "There's seven of them."

"They're pathetic and weak," he said dismissively. "Especially your blondie and the little one."

Bella's anger flared. Inside her heart she felt what she knew was a spark of life, of fire, but her control, as always stayed true. "You're no match for them. Any of them."

"Really? Then how did I manage to slip by them? How did I manage to watch you for months and months without alerting any of those so-called vampires?"

Bella had no idea. "How did you hide your scent?" She asked, curious to know and eager to stop the frightening images of Esme or Rosalie in a fight to the death with this monster creeping in her mind.

"It's what I do," he said proudly. "I find my victims. I track them. I zero in on the kill. And I do it without attracting attention, even with that annoying mindreader and your seer. I'm the best hunter there is. I can sense, hear, see, _feel_ my prey further and better than even your coven can imagine."

"So, what, you basically stayed downwind from the Cullens the whole time?" She asked, alarmed that anyone could get past a family of vampires like this.

"You're boooooring me! Let's talk about the reason I've brought you here! That'll be more fun!" He laughed like a maniac.

Two things happened then. The first: James re-lit his lighter and shone it over a spot a couple of yards to Bella's right...where Billy Black lay crumpled on his side. The second thing that happened: James stopped moving.

There wasn't going to be another chance, Bella knew this in her heart. She could control it. She knew she could control the flames. Bella was not and had never been the arsonist. She had tight, perfect grasp over her gift. Any flames in this room would stay in her control. This was the only opportunity.

"Go to hell," she whispered. And she focused everything she had on the monster in front of her. Burn, she thought. _Burn!_

Only...he didn't.

Burn! She mentally screamed, thinking briefly that time must have just slowed down, that that was why it was taking so long. But time ticked on. Her pulse quickened then raced as she realized with a crushing horror what she could never have discovered until now when her life, and possibly the lives of everyone she knew hung in the balance.

Bella's fire does not work on vampires.


	62. Kill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Sorry this is late...again. Serious bout of writer's block this time. This was a very important chapter and everything needed to be just right. Let me know what you think!

James looked bored as he waited for Bella to react. He kept his arm outstretched over Billy, his hand clutching the lit lighter far too casually considering Billy, like everything else in this room, was drenched in flammable gasoline.

If Bella wasn't aware of Billy's presence, if she could keep her thoughts away from the hundreds of people above them who were unaware of the ticking time bomb that was literally below their feet, Bella's discovery of a limitation in her powers might have paralyzed her. It might have shocked her to a point beyond thought. But Billy Black was lying inches from a human drinking vampire...should he incapacitate her in any way, he'd be able to wipe out the student body above them...and Charlie...Charlie was at the mercy of vampires just like James.

Bella had always felt small. Small and...apart. All her life she was held hostage by her own body and what it could do. Despite the extraordinary gifts she possessed, helplessness was Bella's usual state of being. As a small child, she had difficulty understanding what was so wrong about the bits of sparks she could make sometimes. When the monster inside her unleashed itself on her ninth birthday...and those endless years after...Bella ran, literally trying to escape from her own unstable body. As for her new family...well she was without question happy for the first time in her life. But she still perceived the world in one-day doses; she found it dubiously difficult to think far ahead, to plan or seriously contemplate any sort of future in part because she was still, even now, a hostage of her gifts.

Helplessness flooded her again now as she looked into James' eyes. What could she do to ensure Billy's safety? The students'?

"All right," she whispered. "Why are you doing this? Why are you so interested in me?"

James put out the lighter and disappeared around the room again. He doesn't know...Bella carefully masked her expression of relief. He does't know she can't light him up on her own. She must keep that information hidden.

"You've attracted me. Even though I think your friends are fools, I must commend them. Especially the blonde. I would not have been able to resist being so close to you for so long."

Bella's eyes roamed the room. It was no use. Stopping him in his tracks was impossible. "How long?" And how did he fool the Cullens? Even if tracking and stealth were his gifts, the thought of him fooling Edward, Alice, and Jasper, not to mention all the vampires' natural super senses was just too unbelievable.

"Seven months."

Bella gasped. Seven months? She did the math. If he's been watching her for seven months, that means-

"Canada," she whispered, stunned.

"You can't imagine my surprise," James laughed. "There we were in the middle of nowhere when the sky lights up. Our kind don't have faith, but for a moment I actually thought the lord's wrath was upon us. But it wasn't god. It was just you."

 _There are nomads everywhere, especially in cold places._ Alice's phone call and her warning played back in her mind. Despite the dire situation, Bella felt a bubble of laughter inside her. Even when she can't see, Alice is still right.

"You and the blonde were too far away. We didn't know where you were or that it was you who was responsible. But then you decided to take a trip."

 _Alice and Rosalie will kill me,_ she thought. _If I make it out of here alive that is._

"You saw me run to Denali?"

"Back to your cabin," he corrected her. "And what a show you and your girlfriend put on for us..."

Rosalie and Bella's fight. The fire that looked like ruins of a city. Bella's cheeks turned red when she remembered what else they did. They made love in the shadows of the flames that night.

"A human with the most powerful gift any of us has ever heard of. And she's... _friendly_ ," though she couldn't see him, the teasing in his voice rang loud and clear, "with a vampire. She's pals with a whole coven of them. You can't blame me for becoming very, very curious about you Bella."

"You followed us back to Forks," Bella said. She searched her memory for red eyes, but found none.

"Yes. Oh, Bella...it's been a struggle. Every day...every day my throat burned for you. Seven months having to keep my distance...not even getting to play with you a little...it was torture."

"So sorry to inconvenience you," she snapped. After he killed her, what will he do next? Does he really think he can take down every member of the Cullen coven? He might not have to. All he has to do is contact the Volturi and tell him of their crimes.

James cannot be allowed to live.

"There's no need for that temper," James tisked mockingly. "You should be proud, human. Nobody has lived as long as you have once I made them my prey. Well, save for one...and that was because the fun wore off."

"I'm honored" she said bitterly.

He didn't answer at first. Bella shuddered. He ran so close this time she felt the wind on her face.

"Your novelty wore off too, after a while," James replied. She pictured him pouting like a child. "I tire easily of the same old game," he laughed. "I watched you strengthen your gifts. The better you got, the more boring you became. You were loads more fun before you controlled it, weren't you? Shame we didn't meet then."

He continued before Bella could retort. "But then something changed," he whispered. "You turned out to be far more interesting than you let on."

What the hell is he talking about?

"The boring, goody two-shoes, powerful but stunted little girl goes and mutilates a helpless little animal...for fun!" He laughed.

Bella's breath hitches in her throat. The memory of that day rushes to the front of her mind, and while the familiar disgust with herself wells up, another feeling, long kept buried, peaks up from the pit of her core: unbridled, sickening delight.

"My next meal turns out to be as much of a sociopath as me!" James giggles uncontrollably.

Bella's heart pounds faster. "I'm not like you," she growls.

James laughed. "You're a miserable liar," he said.

"I saw you, Bella," her name rolls off his tongue like a purr. "The way you slammed it into the tree. When you melted off its fur. Those pitiful screams were music to my ears and to yours. I know. I recognized it."

"I threw up a-after," Bella stammered. "Did you see that?!"

He dismissed her with a grunt. "You're still a weak-willed human. But you tell me...what really made you feel sick that day? Was it what you did? Or was it fear of discovery and judgement?"

Bella stared blankly into the dark shadows in front of her. Her mind would never let her forget, but Bella was nonetheless highly skilled at compartmentalizing her thoughts and memories. While everything resided permanently in her head, Bella could and did put things away that she couldn't bear to think of. The faces of the dead. The long days spent in fear and loneliness. The crumbling house of cards that was her relationship with her father. The painful minutes right before she killed her mother and 327 other people.

She did not want to dig up her memories of the day in the woods. Not after all the effort it took to bury it. But James was leaving her no choice.

She was in complete control. Over herself, over her gift, and over her victim. And as she pictured the details of that day she found herself thinking the question that lingered just below the surface: if it was a human being that she came across that day instead of a squirrel, would it have made any difference?

"You have such potential," said James breathlessly. "I wonder...if this hunt's conclusion isn't set in stone..."

Bella finally got her voice back. "What?"

"Some of our kind make it our business to collect specimen like yourself," said James. "I've never warmed to that lifestyle. But I admit Bella, you have me conflicted. It would be such a shame to put you down..."

Bella curled her lip back and shook as she spoke. "You will not-"

"I will do whatever I like," James interrupted tersely. "You keep forgetting your place, young Bella."

Still invisible to her human eyes, she never saw him reach Billy. But the cry of pain from the man reached her ears a split second later, telling her the vampire was close to him. She winced. No blood was spilled but there was an audible crack as at least one of Billy's ribs broke from the impact of James' shoes.

"Stop!" She screamed, but James had already moved away.

"Stop?" James' fake confusion sounded from behind her before he travelled around the room again. "You don't want me to stop, Bella. I told you, I can see your potential. Your heartbeats...your dilated pupils…you're practically salivating. You're enjoying this as much as me…"

"You're out of your mind," Bella whispered. "That's revulsion you're observing, not obsession!"

"Tsk, tsk. ' _Destruction be your only goal!'_ " he sang. "My instincts say you're just as sadistic as me. And Bella...my instincts are always right!"

Suddenly his cold hands were on her, embracing her from behind like a lover. She stifled a shudder. Being inside this man's arms was so different from Rosalie's. His coldness traveled through her skin like they were both made of smoke...tendrils of him twisting through her being with total ease.

"Don't you want to feel the way you used to?" He whispered softly into her ear. "Don't you miss the power? You must have felt like a god before...to have all that power at your fingertips, and then you go and stifle it like it's a sin?! You have a _connection_ to fire. You are _not_ an accident, Bella, you are _not_ a mistake. Nature doesn't make mistakes. What you feel...what I know you want to do...it's ok. You're allowed to use your gifts the way your body says you should. Take all that frustration and anger and _kill him_."

Kill Billy? But Bella didn't want to kill Billy. She didn't want to add anyone else to the long list of dead she's responsible for. She didn't want…

It would be nice though. Not the killing part…But it would be nice to feel the extent of her fire again. To really let it smoulder and-and _destroy_ something. That's it. It's when her powers come together to destroy that Bella feels strongest. Controlling it as she has done for the last seven months just wasn't...satisfying enough. It's not a bad feeling, but it's not good either. So...bland, like stale bread that can never satisfy a gnawing hunger.

"You feel it, don't you?" She felt his lips on her ear widen. He was smiling. "You were born to destroy. _That's_ your real gift. Fire is the greatest destroyer after all. Tell me...didn't it feel good killing this man's wife? I bet it would feel _heavenly_ to pluck out his family one by one...you can start with him…"

Her mind played back her emotions during every flammable episode of her life. Her mind may not have understood what was happening, but her heart did. Blind panic before and after each instance, but during….the feeling was exquisite.

"Either you see it or you don't," James continued to whisper. His hands caressed her sides softly and as he shifted, he kissed her softly on her pulse point. "You deserve death you know, for everything you've done. If you live by the morals of people like him and your pathetic vampires, then those morals say your death is justice. Do you want to die, Bella? Or do you want to live? Because if you do, you might as well let go of what you think is right and wrong. Do what feels good. And you know... _you know_ licking this foolish man with your flames will feel very, _very_ good."

He freed one of his hands from her side and held out the lighter, lit. She shivered. His mouth continued to lightly run over the nape of her neck.

The chants Rosalie taught her ran through her mind. _Think of Rosalie's hair. Esme's creative hands. Emmett's strong arms, Alice's bright laughs and Jasper's warm smile._ The memories of their faces lit a warmth through her, but was it enough to overpower the warmth of the flames? Was there anything left that could prevail over that?

They kept telling her she was a good person, and she had let their beliefs carry her through each day like a lifeboat. The Cullens saved her from the fire. But they did not-they _could not_ save her from herself. Only Bella could do that.

The fingers of one of his hands lingered right under the hem of her shirt. Bella felt something hard against her back and she realized it was James' arousal. "Prove me right about you," he whispered longingly, "and I promise to set you free from fools like him. Do what you were born for. _Light. Him. Up!_ "

Bella lifted her hand to take the offered lighter. She watched the dancing flame and for a second drew comfort from it. She pictured the flame multiplied by thousands, imagined her heart swelling to match its triumph, and felt both exhilaration and loneliness; exhilaration because most people spent their entire lives searching for what makes them whole, and Bella has already found it; loneliness because the only real choice before her meant ignoring that pull even though it was so close she could taste it.

She turned her head to look at the vampire who had watched her from afar for so long. She thought of the terror he had put her through, the self doubt...and now, even if she managed to get out of this alive she knew she'd bear scars from this ordeal that would take far longer to heal than her crushed arm and stinging chest, if they healed at all.

She looked into his crimson eyes, so different from her family's. Beyond the glee, the arousal, and the drive for pleasure she saw...nothing. There was nothing beyond that. She drew herself closer to him, closer and closer until her lips were on his. Surprised, he paused but smiled through the kiss a moment later and deepened it. He closed his eyes but Bella kept hers wide open.

_Now._

Bella dropped the lighter.

Flames erupted on the ground, aided by the gasoline. She kept it from touching her, but they grabbed onto James' feet and travelled up his body. He roared and snatched for her neck but Bella was already gone. Her power propelled her across the room to where Billy was still lying down. She landed hard, her feet missing the ground and instead crashing into Billy. She winced in pain, momentarily blinded by bright lights in front of her pupils. She had overshot her landing and hit her head hard on the column by Billy. Bella gritted her teeth and blinked back tears. She couldn't afford distractions.

Bella kept the flames from reaching Billy and covered his body with her own just in case. Twenty feet away, James continued to scream in rage. He was covered from head to toe now and he tried to brush himself free of the flames. He screamed so loudly she wondered if the kids upstairs could hear. How long does it take for a vampire's body to crumble to dust?

James lunged for her and Billy but was stopped cold. Bella had thought ahead and erected a barrier of air all around herself and Billy. He would be safe, for now. She grinned triumphantly to herself and met James' eyes. It was childish, but she wanted him to see that she had the upper hand this time. He was going to die. _She_ was going to live.

James snarled and hissed and spat at her. But Bella's shield stayed true. She gripped at Billy's shirt hard while she watched the vampire tear at his skin in agony. He ripped his own clothes to shreds but still, fire clung to him like a magnet. Bella watched, fascinated and gleeful. She couldn't help herself. She'd never seen a vampire burn before. What did it say about her that she was curious, eager to see it?

But it was not going to be quick. James, as if reading her mind, snarled again and screamed, "you will not get get to enjoy this!" And then...he took off. Faster than Bella could blink, James zoomed around the room at vampire speed, faster than Bella could hope to catch him. But he wasn't running around aimlessly like before. He ran, and spread the flames on his body to every surface he touched.

Bella's intake of breath was lost among the sounds of popping flames. She couldn't find him. She couldn't stop him! Instead she tried to quell the flames but she no sooner than put out the fires then he returned to re-ignite them. The gasoline that saturated every corner worked to his advantage and soon Bella had to give up on stopping the fires and instead concentrate on keeping the flames from licking at the ceiling and columns. Suddenly the danger loomed right in front of her. If these walls crumble…

He has to be stopped. But how? It's impossible…

 _Nothing is impossible. Not for you_...Carlisle's words to her when he was convinced, before she was, that she could use fire without seeing her target. _Focus...all you have to do is focus._

She squeezed Billy's warm hand and made sure the barrier between them and the growing inferno all around them was impenetrable. She closed her eyes...and she focused. She focused on the feel of the heat, its caressing touch. She focused on every spark in the room, every square inch of fire. _You have a connection to fire_ , James had said. Yes, she did. She could see every ember even though her eyes were shut. She could feel each one like it were an extension of her body. And she could feel the strange new combination of fire and vampire skin. She could feel...James.

_Gotcha._

Bella plucked the screaming figure and levitated him right in front of her. When she opened her eyes, she saw that she couldn't make out his face anymore. The flames were too thick, the smoke too dense to see past it. But he was still alive, though paralyzed now thanks to Bella.

_Crack!_

The sound reached into the pit of her stomach. She looked up, terror overcoming her sense of victory. The column across from her...the whole ceiling started moving before her eyes, spider cracks appearing and parts of it tenting in places that used to be flat. She stopped paying attention to what was happening in the room while she put all her focus on finding James. And now it looked like the fire did significant damage while she was distracted.

She put out all the flames except the ones consuming James and shifted her focus to the room around her. If she could just put up her barrier of air...If she could mold it to fit this room and support the ceiling and what had to be the foundation of the gymnasium above...then maybe she could hold out long enough for James to die.

The minutes passed. James' screams continued to rip through her like a knife, so much that if he were human his vocal cords would have long ago worn away from exertion. Another column cracked in half, this time the one right above herself and Billy. Bella strengthened her shield and stopped it from falling apart. A large chunk made its way through before she put up the shield however and crashed on top of them, piercing the space above Bella's right eye. Spots and tears blocked her vision once again. Between the pain from her forehead, the pain from her temple from the impact on the column earlier, and the pain in her chest and her arm, it was a miracle Bella could concentrate on anything outside her own body.

This wasn't going to work. She could barely keep her eyes open. And what then, if she closed her eyes and fell to sleep? What would James do, unencumbered by her grip on him?

Pain seeped up from her arm, the arm not injured by James. She looked down only to see Billy about to punch her again. His eyes, wide open and alert, communicate the desperation of the situation. _You must stay conscious,_ they say. Bella nods, and redoubles her efforts.

Meanwhile, James is still screaming. Still alive. _How is he still alive_ , Bella wondered. She thought back to a conversation she had with Jasper and Carlisle about vampire physiology. "The only way to a kill a vampire is to tear him apart and burn the pieces…" Well, burning he is, but perhaps Bella could help with the former requirement. Once again, Bella strained herself well past what she thought she could bear and focused on the burning, suspended figure in front of her. This time she made sure to keep some of her strength with the shields that kept the structure at bay. How hard could tearing off a limb be? Pretty hard, it turned out, if it's a vampire. She plead with the wind that has always helped her, the wind that saved her from the same fate as Billy's wife; that, were it not for it, she likely would have succumbed to starvation or prison long ago. _If it's strong enough to help me cross the country in hours, it's strong enough for this_. It has to be. It has to be…

 _Break...break!_ James screamed a blood-curdling cry. He cursed and shouted unintelligibly. Bella pushed on, at this point just wanting him to stop making that awful noise. She didn't know if he deserved this kind of suffering, but she also knew she didn't deserve to make that judgement.

_Break!_

Billy squeezed her hand and shouted something, but Bella was beyond hearing. Her vision dotted with black spots that continued to get bigger. The fire engulfing James seemed to grow more fierce. And an impossibly loud crunch of a sound erupted seemingly from every corner of the room. Bella felt herself going limp in Billy's arms as her vision finally ceased. The last thing she thought she saw before black took over is a flash of gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: ... so, thoughts? Obviously there are still questions, but many of them will be answered soon. Oh and in case you're wondering, this is not the climax of the story. I think if Gifted were a trilogy, this here would be the climax and approaching the end of book 2 (8 years later....uh, no. Nope not even close!).


	63. Empty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

The constant beeping near her head was what woke her up. Bella inhaled deeply, smelling the unmistakable scent of a sterile environment...the kind that feels like you're breathing in machinery and disinfectant, not regular air.

"Good morning, Bella."

It was Carlisle's voice. Bella commanded her eyes to open and they finally did after some effort. Carlisle materialized in front of her. Before she had a chance to speak he held a light to both her pupils, temporarily blinding her before she readjusted and looked back at him.

"Welcome back," he greeted her warmly.

She smiled weakly and tried to shift so she could sit up, but Carlisle stopped her. "Don't move, please. You have a fractured rib and a broken arm. Not to mention you took quite a few hits on the head. There's no permanent damage but you will need some time to heal."

Bella nodded and breathed deeply, this time noticing the difficulty with which her chest moved, and she winced in pain. Ow. A hand laid itself across her own right hand. Esme smiled gently from beside her but said nothing.

The door across from the bed burst open and Jasper, Alice and Emmett tumbled through grinning down at her. Edward followed them in and stood stoically by the door.

"Hey Bella Bear! Nice to see you out of hibernation!" Emmett shouted happily.

"Hi guys," she smiled back. "How long was I out?"

"Four days, nine hours, and 22 minutes," Alice supplied.

Surprised, Bella noted their cheerful countenance and she slowly nodded. She looked at them again, tentatively this time. "Did anyone die?" She whispered.

"Only James," Esme spoke. The dead vampire's name lingered in the air like a cloud of poison, and immediately Bella shivered from the tension. The relief she felt however, was palpable. No one died...Thank god.

"What happened?" She asked. The last thing she remembered was the cavernous room beneath the gymnasium floor about to collapse on top of her and Billy. The burning, searing figure of James as he screamed and floated in front of her flashed across her eyes and she had to close them for fear of the Cullens seeing the deep satisfaction and pleasure she felt from his prolonged torture.

"Can you tell us what happened on your end first?" Carlisle asked. "It would help us piece together the full order of events and answer your question with more conviction."

Bella sighed and looked away. Hindsight had 20/20 vision, and looking back now she could see that she should have told Alice and Jasper what she suspected that day in the cafeteria. She didn't value her own life to fear for it, but so many things could have gone wrong which could have resulted in catastrophe. So many lives had hung in the balance that night.

"I started to suspect I was setting the fires in my sleep..." Bella began. The Cullens, to their credit, stayed still and silent and let her explain herself without interruption. As briefly as she could make it, Bella relayed everything that happened from the moment the first message appeared to the moment she woke up in their care. The details of her encounter with James however, she skimmed over without any specifics. Bella was determined to take his words with her to the grave.

"...and then the fire surrounding him burned strangely for a few seconds, there was a loud popping sound, and then I woke up here," she finished.

Carlisle was the only one who showed any human signs of comprehension. He nodded, crossed his arms and leaned against the railing of her hospital bed while the others sat without moving so much as a hair. They all exchanged looks with one another. Bella tried not to look at their faces and instead kept her eyes trained on the headboard. A gnawing pain that had nothing to do with broken bones started swelling in the pit of her stomach. Why wasn't Rosalie here?

"Alice, why don't you start," Carlisle suggested.

"I couldn't see you!" Alice blurted out, downcast. "I'm so sorry Bella."

"Alice, it wasn't your fault," Bella calmly comforted the girl. She had a feeling Alice would react like this. "I'm hard to see. That makes it my fault."

She shook her head and, after letting Jasper calm her down, spoke again.

"We decided to check up on you an hour after you left. We texted, called, but everything went straight to voicemail. So Jazz, Edward and I drove to Charlie's house. Edward heard the nomads' thoughts before we sensed them. From him we learned there were two vampires in the house with Charlie, that Charlie was still alive but knocked out, and that a third vampire had taken you somewhere."

Jasper stepped in. "We informed Carlisle and Esme immediately. Rosalie and Emmett were in a dead zone and didn't get our calls until much later."

"Carlisle and I went through town looking for you," Esme said. "We caught a whiff here and there but the scents kept us going around in circles. After a while they disappeared altogether."

"If James is as good a tracker as he claimed," Carlisle added, "it's possible, if not probable he found a way to mask your scent. I believe he deliberately left confusing trails all over town and managed to erase the true lead to the school."

"Anyway, while they searched for you, we tried to think of a way to surprise the nomads. We were worried that they might kill your father if they sensed our approach," said Alice. "That and as far as we knew, they were the only ones who knew your location. So we couldn't just storm in and kill them."

"Edward continued to listen and relay what he heard," Jasper said, smiling at the boy who stood deathly still by the door. "Their names are Victoria and Laurent. Victoria has been with James for centuries. Laurent is a newer addition. Victoria and James are...they _were_ mates."

"They followed you down from Canada, just like you said," Edward spoke for the first time. "However James was the only one interested in you. The others did not share his obsession, especially Victoria."

Alice stepped in. "Victoria has a gift for evasion. She knew exactly how far to remain from the rest of us to stay hidden. James and Laurent followed her guidance, but James got bored. That's when he set the first fires. That's all we learned before Jacob got there."

"What?!" Bella exclaimed.

"We were caught by surprise too," Alice sighed. "He got there on his bike and of course the nomads heard him when he pulled up at your father's home. He almost crashed into the cruiser...he..."

"Jacob phased," Jasper said quietly. Bella gasped. "He phased, managed to turn back, and was looking for Billy to help him. He knew he was spending the day with Charlie."

"Oh god," Bella whispered. So it's begun. By now Jake must know the ghost stories of his tribe are all true.

"Jacob walked into the house," Jasper continued. "The nomads knew what he was the second they sensed him and they attacked. He's fine, Bells." He sent her a wave of calm to which she gratefully succumbed. "The three of us attacked too. They didn't even try to fight. Victoria sensed the danger and she and Laurent ran off."

"I left and chased after them," Edward added. "But they crossed into La Push before I could reach them."

"Meanwhile we were stuck in a house with a baby wolf. Your dad could wake up at any minute. And we still had no idea where you were," Alice shook his head. "You can imagine the tension. And what's worth, I couldn't see anything! Not even the rest of the family."

"And then Carlisle got through to me and Rose," Emmett finally spoke. "We high-tailed it out of there and ran straight back to Forks. When we got there Jacob was in the living room trashing the place-"

"He was panicking," Edward interrupted. "I could listen to him even in wolf form. The wolf could smell vampires, his natural enemies. He was surrounded and was going completely on instinct. We can't really blame him."

"Yeah, whatever." Emmett rolled his eyes. "I'm about to whoop some sense into him when Rosalie knocks me over and goes right for him. She actually _touched_ him. Pinned him to the ground. He's about to whack her head off when she starts screaming at him. Telling him to get a grip, that he knows her, that she's Bella's girlfriend, and that Bella's in trouble. She was nose to nose with him, Christ..."

"Long story short, she calmed him down," Jasper said. "The boy had trouble phasing back so Edward helped us communicate. Jake had trouble with James' scent just like we did, but it was stronger for him than for us. But the breakthrough came when he sniffed out his father's scent."

Alice sighed. "We were all so focused on you it didn't occur to us that Billy might be in the same place. James didn't do as good a job on Billy as he did on you-probably didn't think someone would come looking for him so soon. We could track Billy's scent, especially with Jacob's help. And that led us to the school. Esme stayed behind with Charlie just in case the others came back. When we got to the gymnasium..."

Jasper looked down. "There were too many people," he said quietly, ashamed. "I'm so sorry, Bella. There were so many of them...too many racing heartbeats and sweat. I couldn't handle it and lost control."

"Jasper, it's ok," Bella gripped his hand as if to send out some calm of her own to him. "You shouldn't have had to put yourself in that situation to begin with. I'm the one who's sorry."

She's been helping him too much. Over the months, whenever the crowds got too much for Jasper, Bella shifted the wind to keep the worst of it from him. Maybe the best help for him was _not_ to help him. Maybe if she hadn't, he could have withstood the heated crowd that night.

"Whatever," Emmett said impatiently. "Jasper lost it, and Alice and I had to get him out of there."

Carlisle stepped in. "Which left myself, Edward and Rosalie. Between the three of us, we convinced Jacob to stay at the edge of the forest. It was his first day as a shifter and we didn't know how a crowd of humans could affect him. He was also more likely to injure you or Billy if he tried to intervene, so new was his form. So he kept a lookout for the nomads on the outside, and the three of us went inside."

"We smelled the fire as soon as we walked in. It took a while to find the path James used to the basement, but we found it eventually," said Edward. "The screams we heard...that was James on fire?"

Bella nodded, again feeling a disturbing warmth spread through her body as she pictured his body convulsing from the pain. What is wrong with her?

"We couldn't take chances," said Carlisle. "I pulled the fire alarm before we found the door. All the kids had evacuated in time, but it was a close call. There were a few minor injuries though. Rosalie pushed through just as the floor of the gymnasium started to cave in on you. We saw James' body in pieces just before the fire consumed him. You were unconscious and Billy was next to you, screaming for you to wake up. We all ran to you and kept the ceiling from crushing you, then got you out of there. And we brought you here."

At Bella's questioning look he added, "you're in our home. I had this equipment shipped here."

She nodded, processing it all.

"What about Billy?" She asked. "And...and Charlie? Does he still think it was me?"

"You were never the arsonist and Charlie knows that now. As a matter of fact," Carlisle smiled, bemused. "You can thank Billy Black for that."

Emmett chuckled at her shocked expression. "Billy was conscious the whole time after we got you out. He knows what we are. Carlisle took him to the hospital, Jake in tow...well, on a leash would be more appropriate...and fixed him up. Jake phased back and stayed with him, and Carlisle, Edward and I gave them a very edited account of what happened. We were worried everybody would blame you but...you must have made one hell of an impression on the guy."

"Charlie was back in action by then," Jasper said. "Esme tipped the department off and another officer came to his house and freed him. They went to the school when that call went off, then the hospital. Billy, the only eyewitness as far as anybody knew, gave a detailed account in which you played absolutely no part, Bella. He described a man in his twenties, gave a physical description, and insisted that man had confessed to him his hand in all the recent fires in Forks. And when Charlie and the fire department examined the building's basement, they found the burnt remains of a man who perfectly fit that description."

Wait, what?

"I...I thought there wouldn't be a body," Bella said, confused.

"Ah, yes," Carlisle spoke up hesitantly. "That is correct. I'm afraid I had little choice but to place a body, a human one to take James' stead for the police's sake. There was a John Doe in our morgue. No one has claimed the body in over six months and he was due to be taken to the state crematorium later this week. I gave Billy his description and brought the body, which I burned, to the crime scene, exactly where James was killed."

A tidy ending to a blistering mess. Except Bella still felt like something less than what she was. She felt...empty. Empty, and afraid of what would come back to fill the void.

"Charlie knows I'm here?"

"Yes," Carlisle answered. "We took you to the hospital at first, after we cleaned you up and determined there was nothing life-threatening. Then I transferred you here. I told Charlie that Esme could look after you more this way. He did not object."

"Wouldn't have made any difference if he did," Esme mumbled.

She nodded and looked around at the faces of her family. Heart pounding a little faster, she asked the question she wanted to ask the moment she awoke. "Where's Rosalie?"

No one said anything for a while, but the discomfort in the room was clear.

Emmett reached for her hand. "She didn't leave your side the entire time you were here, Bells," he said gently. "But this whole thing really freaked her out. She's having trouble dealing."

Bella swallowed hard and tried not to let her tears fall, but vampire eyes saw it anyway. She wiped at her face.

"What do you mean?" She whispered.

"Rosalie is the strongest person I know," Emmett said sadly. "But she really thought she'd lost you for a while there. We all did. She...She doesn't like feeling helpless. And that's how she felt this whole time until you finally woke up. She just needs a little time, then I promise she'll be back by your side."

Bella nodded slowly, but only because that's what they all expected, and because really, what else could she do? Rosalie was a complicated person, Bella knew that. And in a way, she understood what Emmett was trying to tell her. But...Bella still felt her absence like a knife to the heart.

She blinked through the tears and nodded again.

"Thank you," she said. "For everything you've done. I'm sorry you had to put yourselves in danger because of me."

They all started to protest but Bella closed her eyes and burrowed deeper under her sheets.

"I think I need to sleep a bit more," she whispered and squeezed Emmett's hand. "Goodnight."

One by one, they left the room. Emmett lingered by the door, whispering "she'll be back soon," before he shut it gently behind him.

Bella was left alone with her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Have a Merry Saturnalia, boys and girls! I'll try to post before the new year, but in case I fail in that endeavor...Happy New Year! Oh, I just left you a present under the tree...aka a new chapter. Please, won't you leave me something in my stocking? Like, oh I dunno...a review?! :)


	64. Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: All Bella/Rosalie bits have this soundtrack in mind: Embers by Helen Jane Long.

The many clocks in the Cullens' house ticked on and on, but Rosalie tuned them out and focused on the only ticking that mattered to her, Bella's heartbeat. Her chest moved gently up and down so surely, so consistently, one could easily forget that one day it would stop. Her heart pumped blood throughout her body, giving life to limb, mind, and soul. All that was needed was a burst artery, a blood clot, a blow to the head, a few minutes without oxygen...an infinite number of ways for her Bella to cease being.

She blanched at the pool of venom in her mouth and instinctively swallowed. She wasn't there for Bella when she needed her because of her unabating need for fresh blood. The time between hunts kept shrinking. How long until her desire for an immortal Bella becomes truly unbearable? Flashes of her unconscious figure beneath the crumbling roof ripped through her thoughts again and again. She had come so close to dying. If Rosalie had opened that door a split second later it might have been too late.

Rosalie was so consumed with terror at all the what-ifs that she didn't notice Bella stirring.

"Hey," Bella whispered groggily.

"Hey," Rosalie smiled. She reached over and took her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"I'd shrug but that'll probably make it worse," Bella answered warily. "It's not so bad. Whatever's in that IV bag is working its magic."

Rosalie nodded, trying not to dwell on how much pain Bella really was in. She wished she could take away all that pain...force her own body to suffer if it meant Bella would be spared even a moment's discomfort. Humanity's a real bitch.

Bella ran her thumb back and forth over Rosalie's hand before pained resignation broke across her face. "I'm sorry for what I put you through," she said quietly.

Rosalie nodded, but soon her own face mirrored the pain on Bella's. "I thought I'd never see you again," she whispered. "I thought we'd find a corpse. You can't imagine how close it was."

Bella sighed. "If I'd known they'd be vampires...Rose, they fooled all of us. I wasn't looking for trouble-"

"You could've told Alice and Jasper!" Rosalie let out a strangled cry. "You could've taken them with you when you went to Charlie's! All of this could've been avoided!"

Rosalie let go of Bella's hand and ran her own through her hair. No matter where she looked, Bella's lifeless eyes stared back at her. She made herself look back at the girl, whose eyes had filled with unshed tears threatening to fall. "I'm sorry too," she continued. "For not being here with you when you woke up. I needed...I needed to clear my head."

And a few acres of forest, she mentally added. Even hours after, Rosalie still felt uncontrollable rage flowing through her. How could she have allowed herself to become so weak? For 80 years her strength never wavered. She'd stool tall and strong, proud despite self-loathing. The last few days, for the first time in her existence she found herself on the verge of losing a piece of herself...a piece of the foundation that kept her standing. Only four times in her life did Rosalie experience that sort of desperate helplessness: when those vile men took away her free will and raped her; when she opened her eyes for the first time after the venom finished turning her human flesh into hard granite and she understood that the life she wanted for herself would never come to pass; when she ran through the woods with Emmett's hemorrhaging body in her arms...part of her knowing that that man belonged to her on a level she had yet to understand, and that his life was slipping away with every step she took; and finally during the two weeks of hell last summer when none of them knew where to find Bella. All her life Rosalie had done everything she could to avoid placing herself in exactly the kind of situation she found herself in.

"I understand," Bella said, then with a slight grin she added, "you probably would've destroyed the house if you'd waited up here."

She ground her teeth together and tried to smile for Bella's sake. It came out hollow, but Bella didn't comment. The girl slowly but surely inched sideways, leaving space beside her, and beckoned for Rosalie to join her in the bed. Rosalie obliged and spread her limbs carefully around Bella so as not to jostle her broken bones. Bella lay her head gingerly in the crook of her arms, and Rosalie watched the tension in her body slowly dissipate as she settled in place.

"I can't lose you," Rosalie whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere," Bella mumbled, clearly on the verge of slumber.

"That's not what I mean, Bella."

But the girl was already asleep.

* * *

The small cast saw vibrated loudly as it cut through the tough material on Bella's arm. Soon enough, the cast split into two and Carlisle turned off the machine.

"There you go," he said, smiling. "Let's take a look now."

Under his direction, Bella slowly moved her arm every which way until Carlisle nodded, satisfied.

"Ok," he handed the broken cast back to her. "You're officially healed."

From the door, Alice squealed with joy. "You do know what this means, right?" she bounced from foot to foot, unable to contain her excitement.

Bella looked to Carlisle for help but he held his hands up in mock defeat. "Can't help you there, Bella. You got yourself into this, remember?"

"How could I forget," she grumbled and turned to the diminutive girl who was tapping her heels and glaring at her. "Ok, ok! You win. I'll wear whatever you want me to wear tonight, ok?"

Alice frowned some more for a few seconds before her excitement got the best of her. She brought her hands together and a minute later, dragged Bella from Carlisle's home office and down to her room. "I have the perfect dress!" She gushed. "It'll stop a few hearts, you'll see. Figuratively speaking of course," she added.

"Bella!" Jasper yelled from downstairs and was up next to Alice before Bella could blink. Rosalie, Edward and Emmett soon joined them.

"Oh, thank god!" Bella smiled at Jasper and leaned into Rosalie. "Have you come to rescue me?"

Jasper laughed and ignored his wife's 'hmph,'

"No, darling," he apologized. "We came to give you this."

It was a letter from the College Board.

"Oh," Bella took it and thumbed over the edge. She looked at Alice and asked, "Did you see?"

Alice snorted. "I don't need to see to know you aced it. Go on, open it! It's been so long since my first SAT score..."

With a soft nod from Rosalie, Bella obliged and opened the letter. She planned for a perfect score and judging by the numbers at the top of the page, she got it.

"Way to go Bella Bear!" Emmett put his hand up and she rolled her eyes, but high-fived him anyway.

"Nice work," Rosalie said softly. "You won't have any trouble getting into a good school. Even without our help."

"Mmm," Bella smiled and quickly looked away. She folded the letter and carefully placed it back into its envelope. Things were coming together perfectly, just as she had planned a year ago when she knocked on Charlie's door for the first time. Why, then, was the mere thought of the future leaving her with a bitter taste in her mouth?

"Let's see this magic dress, Alice, hmm?" Bella turned to her friend and let her pull her into the room.

_Thud._

"Jasper?" Rosalie's voice was low, whispering so Bella couldn't hear from the other side of the door. She walked down the stairs with Emmett, beckoning for the empath to follow. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, she turned to him and asked, "what was she feeling just then? When she looked at her score?"

Jasper fidgeted. "Rosalie, you know these things are fleeting. Besides I can't read her mind. There's no way to know why-"

"Please, Jasper," Rosalie interrupted him. "What was she feeling?"

Silence. Edward slipped into the room behind Emmett and Rosalie.

"Guilt," Jasper finally said. "...and self disgust."

"I thought so," Rosalie whispered. She looked from him to Emmett. "Why?!"

Her question lingered in the air like a heavy cloud.

* * *

**Later that night:**

_Ok, you can do this Bella. You're wearing a dress that's probably worth more than Charlie's yearly salary-don't fuck up and burn it_.

Alice wasn't kidding about those stopped hearts. Bella herself almost had a heart attack when she saw it hanging in her closet, but a deal's a deal. Alice was so upset with her right after the James mess for not coming to her for help before running off to Charlie's that Bella had fumbled and then did the only thing she could think off to appease her: promise to come to prom and let Alice pick out her dress. Now that she was actually wearing it and about to surround herself with a bunch of piranhas (i.e., people from school), she thought maybe she could've just dealt with an angry vampire...Alice would have forgiven her eventually.

The girl in question glared at her in exasperation. "Would you please stop making plans to bolt? Everything will be fine."

Bella rolled her eyes and mumbled incoherently. Maybe she could make a run for it from the bathroom. Maybe-

"Hey," Rosalie whispered next to her. "I've been looking forward to dancing with you. Don't you dare run off."

As usual when Rosalie asked anything of her she automatically nodded. "I won't," she promised. "Are you sure they don't think it was me?"

"They don't," Edward answered. "You have my word, they don't think you had anything to do with the fires. The body and Billy's testimony were irrefutable. Even your tormentors have largely surrendered their earlier theories."

Bella sighed and gave Edward a grateful smile. "Thank you," she said.

The much too revealing dress was but one of the many reasons she would rather snuggle with Rosalie alone than come out here. Her previously broken rib made it far too difficult to attend classes up until now. This would be the first time Bella had to deal with people other than the Cullens and Bella found this...taxing to say the least. Why can't they all just go away...

Emmett pulled into an empty patch of dirt that extended the parking lot. Since the school's gymnasium was completely destroyed, this year's prom was moved at the last minute to the only country club near town, a couple of miles away from campus. It was right on the edge of the forest.

A flash of red and blue and Bella nearly hissed in anger. Jasper gave her a look and she instantly calmed down. Charlie was here, patrolling...

Despite her bubbling irritation she kept her eyes on him until he rounded the building away from sight. He didn't look any different from the last time she saw him conscious five weeks ago. That was when he'd stormed into the Cullen's house accusing her of committing arson, of killing Harry Clearwater in La Push. That was when Bella started to doubt herself. Four weeks with broken bones and he never once came to visit. Oh, he asked Carlisle about her condition time and again...but that's not the same thing, is it?

"The police don't want to take any chances in case another arsonist tries something with so many people gathered in one place," Edward said. "That's why he's here. Bella, he is thinking about you. He's sorry for doubting you."

"He can shove his sorry up his ass," she whispered. "I don't want to discuss Charlie. Let's go inside."

* * *

In spite of her anxiety, it didn't take long for Bella to start enjoying herself. She wasn't exaggerating when she boasted of her dancing skills to Emmett and Rosalie. It took just one dance with Jasper for her feet to catch up to what her brain knew and she was off, laughing as she danced circles around the huge ballroom with whoever happened to be her partner for that particular number.

"Told you you'd have fun!" Alice smiled excitedly as Bella twirled her around.

Bella rolled her eyes but swallowed her pride this one time. Alice was right and there was no point denying it. She was having fun. Even the glimpses she caught of Charlie staring at her couldn't put a damper on her mood. She hadn't felt this carefree in a long time. She really should go flying more often...

Before she knew it, she had danced with Jasper, Alice, and Emmett numerous time before she was finally thrust into Rosalie's arms.

"Finally," Rosalie whispered. "I thought I'd have to duel them for a dance with you."

Bella smiled and let Rosalie lead her in time to the music.

"I so, so want to kiss you right now," Bella whispered urgently. It was true. To be this close to her and yet so far...it was torture.

Rosalie cocked her head. "You know you can. I won't stop you," she said, and as if to illustrate her point she leaned in so close to Bella their foreheads touched for a brief second before Bella reluctantly pulled away.

"Rose...please..." Bella sighed but even as she distanced the space between them to a more socially acceptable, amicable appearance, she hesitated. The temptation to kiss her, to claim her fully in front of her peers was almost impossible to resist.

"Alright, I won't push you," Rosalie said. She inched closer to Bella until nothing but a few millimeters separated them. "But you should know that I want it. So does Emmett."

And then she kissed her. Rosalie moved so fast no human could have seen. Even Bella didn't really see it, but she did feel her lips tingle they way they always did when they kissed. It was subtle, but then again there was nothing subtle about the way Rosalie looked at her. Even as Bella mirrored her impassioned gaze, she wondered if they had outed themselves to everyone in the ballroom despite Bella's adamant refusal of Rosalie's offer. You'd have to be extraordinarily dense not to draw inferences from the tension in the air between them.

"May I?" Edward's soft voice asked politely when the song ended.

"Of course," Bella replied. She gave Rosalie's hand a squeeze as if to reassure her. It was a testament to Rosalie's willpower and self control that her only outward reaction was, "I'll be at the table with Emmett," before sauntering off and leaving her with the boy.

"Edward." Bella's smile did not reach her eyes. "I did promise you a dance."

He took her hand and they glided around the room. All the while, Bella asked herself if things might have been different between the two of them. In a parallel universe maybe...if she'd gotten to know him as she'd gotten to know the rest of them her first months here...if he had not protested so vehemently to her presence in their lives...if this, if that.

"Penny for your thoughts," Edward smiled slightly.

"I thought that was your favorite thing about me?" She asked playfully. "That you can't get into my head?"

"That is true," he nodded. "A fair trade then? You tell me what's going on in your head. I'll tell you what's in mine."

"Hmmm," she smiled. "For all you know I can already see it. Maybe it's another gift that I've kept from all of you..."

Edward's confused look was indeed priceless. Her words were total rubbish of course, but Bella had ulterior motives tonight. She had a gnawing suspicion that's been burrowing inside her for weeks, and tonight she was determined to get her answers.

She made sure Edward stood between her and the rest of the family when she loosened the shoe she wore and levitated a piece of paper she had hidden under her foot to her hand. She closed her hand onto Edward's, transferring the paper into his possession. The whole thing took a second. No one saw.

Edward wouldn't pass up an opportunity like that, she thought as the song ended and she made her way back to the table. He'd read that message in private and do exactly as it said. His curiosity would surely get the better of him.

_Meet me outside, please._

* * *

Under the guise of needing some fresh air, Bella left the building and ran deep into the forest, making sure to leave a trail for Edward to follow. Rosalie was difficult to thwart off, but an impromptu decision to go out for air and come back in twenty minutes convinced Alice, and therefore Rosalie, that everything was fine.

She didn't have to wait long.

"Hello," his voice sounded without warning behind her. The others, at least, had the decency to make human sounds as they approached.

"Can they hear us?" Bella asked.

He touched her shoulder. His fingers ran slowly down her arm and back up again. She resisted a shiver of contempt.

"No," he answered. "We are beyond their senses."

He stepped closer to her. They were only inches apart.

She rocked on her heels a little as she turned around and looked past him in the direction from which they came, measuring the approximate distance.

"But they're not beyond yours, are they?"

Edward furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but even in the dark and with weak human eyes Bella saw the caution in his.

"You can still hear their thoughts, right?" She pressed on until he finally nodded.

She took a deep breath. "You knew," she exhaled.

"I beg your pardon?"

"When I came for you in Denali and we spoke outside," she whispered and kept her eyes on his. "You were quiet for so long. I begged you to come home and you stood there without making a sound... I thought you were mulling things over. But that's not it. You heard them. You could hear James' thoughts, couldn't you? They were close. We were too far from Tanya and the others for them to sense them but you could hear them..."

It was like time had stopped its merciless march forward. Bella and Edward stood facing each other in what looked like a staring contest. Bella's fists were clenched uncontrollably at her side but other than that, she matched the vampire's rigidity with her own. Edward was the first to blink.

"Yes," he breathed. "I knew."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Bet you didn't see that one coming! The next chapter is is half done and should be out soon. In the meantime, if you're going "wtf?" you might want to reread chapter 39. Yes, this little twist was planned from then.


	65. Harbinger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note I: Soundtracks for this chapter: "The Aviators", "Expression", and "Wishes" by Helen Jane Long...as well as "A Song of Simplicity" by Elijah Bossenbroek.
> 
> Author's note II: Did someone say "ass whooping?"

Bella exploded.

As soon as she heard the 'yes' her power erupted outwards sending trees bending backwards and cracking in pieces under the strain. She was so angry there was no time for fire to make its mark. Everything just melted right there and turned to ash. Except for Edward. Edward stood alone with her in the midst of the debris, frozen not from bravery but from immobility. Bella kept him staying put. She breathed hard and turned back to face him, growling before she-and Edward-flew violently twenty feet across to a tree that Bella had spared. She came to a halt but Edward continued on. Her eyes burned with rage as she slammed him over and over and over again into that tree. Then she held him still again. Spider cracks appeared on his cheeks and neck as she violently pressured his body to comply to her vengeance.

"An innocent man is dead!" She screamed and slammed him harder. " _Hundreds_ more could have died! _My father-_ ," she created pockets of dense air that weighed a ton and sent them slugging at his body. "My father nearly died. _Explain yourself!_ "

He opened his mouth.

"The truth," she hissed.

"You blew up the foot of the mountain," he whispered. "You were angry with me and blew up the foot of the mountain. They were nearby and witnessed it. I never sensed them but I heard their thoughts the closer they crept."

"What did you hear?" Bella spat.

Bella had inadvertently loosened her grip on him and she realized this when he moved his body slightly. She snarled and immediately held him down once again.

"They were astonished," Edward struggled in her hold. "Victoria wanted nothing to do with you but James wouldn't take no for an answer. He edged closer until he sensed me and backed off."

Bella slowly circled the floating, still figure before her. She extended her hearing far out from her. No one approached.

"You let me go back to the cabin on my own," she recalled. "What were their intentions?"

He swallowed. "They intended to kill you."

Point: Bella.

"You said you needed to hunt before I left. Where did you really go?"

"I hunted. Aaahhh-stop!"

Bella's nostrils flared as she sent her anger blasting at Edward's fingers. One by one she bent and twisted each finger back until it hung by a thread. He screamed and Bella's heart vibrated with the subjugation, the knowledge that _she_ was in control of his pain. Edward's venom would kick in as soon as she let up and would heal him. But knowing that only made it easier to kick up the pain a notch. Pages of information flipped through her mind. Without even thinking, she fashioned razor-thin cylinders of air and shot them under Edward's fingernails. His screams reached a whole new level.

"The truth!" She screeched. "Or I'll snap off your fingers and burn them before your feet touch the ground."

He shook like a rag doll for another minute until Bella's treatment finally abated. Bella stood rigid in front of him. _He's responsible for everything_ , she chanted in her mind. _He's responsible for what would've become a massacre._

"I followed them," he gasped after he healed. "I stayed...just far enough so I could listen. James wanted to kill you right there...but he didn't count on finding Rosalie waiting for you in the cabin. They observed. You demonstrated more of your power that night. Your...relationship with Rosalie made you even more interesting. He decided to follow you and learn more."

Bella shook her head in disgust. "And you followed him."

They had all wondered what took him so long to get back to Forks. She remembered hearing Alice complain of his indecision that week and indeed, ever since he came back. So he didn't go to the Volturi like Rosalie suspected. But was the truth easier or more difficult to swallow?

"Yes," he whispered warily. "I followed and learned everything I could about them. James kept going back and forth. He was fixated on you but was having too much fun to end his game. Some days he was intent on finishing what he started. Other days he just watched."

Something didn't add up here. If James was the world-class tracker he thought he was, how could Edward have fooled him for so long?

"When did you blow your cover?" Bella asked.

He looked down.

"When?" she asked again, narrowing her eyes.

"Very early on," he sighed. "James made up his mind to kill you. He started to notice when I wouldn't let you out of my sight."

"Excuse me?" She looked at him with wonder. "Don't tell me...you wanted to play the villain _and_ the hero at the same time?"

Edward was clearly very frustrated. Even motionless in the air, his body showed its discomfort at the question. "I...I didn't know what I wanted, ok? I don't really want you dead but...I wanted you out of our lives. Out of _my_ life."

The mood swings. The quiet friendship followed inexplicably by cold shoulders. How he seemed to appear haphazardly around her, especially when she was bereft of other vampires.

All for what? So he could fool himself into thinking he's a good guy?

"Keep talking."

"The three of them confronted me and asked for more information about you."

"Which you were only too happy to provide, right?" Bella shook her head. "And let me guess...you told them all about your family too. About their gifts. I was wondering how James knew so much."

"I had to protect the family!" Edward insisted. "If they went to the Volturi I had to make sure Aro knew we never revealed our secret to you. And-"

"And that at least one member of the Cullen coven had given a nomad permission to kill the dangerous human," Bella laughed snidely. "What, did you make me out holding your family hostage? That the Cullens had a time bomb on their hands they didn't know how to dispose of? Do you really think that will fool Aro and his guard?"

"It was something," Edward relented quietly. "The only thing that might save us when they show up. I was protecting the family."

Bella shook her head. This was too much even for her mind to process. There were too many variables that were out of her control. Edward. Victoria and Laurent. What else Edward was hiding and what else the nomads might be planning.

She set him down and released her hold.

"You're not a protector," she whispered. "You...you are a coward."

He narrowed his eyes and shifted in his spot.

"Did you feel any responsibility when Harry Clearwater died? Any remorse?" She continued.

Unless her eyes were deceiving her, Edward's face did indeed show a hint of guilt.

"I was not responsible for his death. James was. Remorse, however, I do feel," he looked down. "I truly regret that. I never meant for anyone to get hurt."

"Except for me."

He looked her in the eye. "Harry Clearwater did not deserve to die. You do."

She chuckled humorlessly. "That is true," she said. "But you're wrong about one thing. You _are_ responsible for Harry's death. And you know it. Take it from an expert. His death will haunt you for all your existence. Because _you_ allowed it to happen."

Bella stared at his golden eyes and knew she was right. The guilt, the regrets...they seeped from every pore on his perfect face just as they seeped from Bella whenever she caught her reflection in a mirror when no one was around. She knew that look very, very well. It didn't matter if the face was human or vampire, if the deed was one life or 500. Sooner or later, the weight of a life stolen drags the conscience down like a heavy stone in the sea. There's nowhere to go with that baggage but down, down, down.

Edward looked away. "Are you going to tell them?" He asked.

"I don't know," she answered honestly.

He nodded and stepped away. He stopped before venturing too far and called back to her, "I have a favor to ask of you."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Really?" She laughed. "And what might that be?"

"Alice. I learned her story from James. He hunted her," he said sadly. "Before she was turned in 1920. Her real name is Mary Alice Brandon. She's from Biloxi, Mississippi. Her family put her in an asylum when she was a child because her visions scared them. She knew James was coming after her and no one believed her. There was another vampire who worked in that asylum, and he turned her to save her from James."

Looking at his pain now, she was reminded that Edward and Alice were once dear friends. That may not be the case anymore, but Edward still clearly cared a great deal for his sister.

"I couldn't tell her...for obvious reasons. Will you please find a way? I know it would mean the world to her to finally know who she is."

Bella nodded reluctantly. Doing this for Alice superseded her disgust at doing Edward any favors. "I will."

"Thank you," he said, then paused, concentrating in the direction of the country club. "One more thing. Billy Black just drove up. He wants to talk to you."

* * *

**Scene 2 soundtrack: "The Aviators" by Helen Jane Long**

* * *

By the time Bella reached the edge of the forest her anger had fizzled away. Edward trotted back inside the building, leaving her to compose herself and to watch Billy for a few minutes before stepping out herself.

She got there in time to watch him skillfully maneuver out of his handicap-accessible van and wheel himself slowly to a nearby bench. When he finally pulled on his brakes he was wheezing and out of breath. Bella remembered that he too had suffered injuries that night.

"Hi Billy," she called out gently so as not to startle him and sat down on the bench across from him.

"Bella," Billy greeted her. "I'm sorry to crash your prom like this. I've wanted to speak with you since the incident and...this was an opportunity I could not pass up."

She nodded. He refrained from adding that since she was holed up in Cullen territory, he had absolutely no way of meeting with her until now. But Bella understood.

"How's Jacob?" She blurted out.

Billy sighed. "He's fine," he said quickly before adding, "understandably he is struggling...but he's a strong boy. I'm grateful for my position as an elder of my tribe. It means Jacob is free to talk with me if he chooses. It's not a luxury all of them have."

She wanted to ask him more personal questions. Did Jacob hate her now? Did his exposure to Rosalie and the rest of them do any good or was that just wishful thinking? Did he blame her for what almost happened to his father? She wanted to ask but she refrained. She doubted Billy would have those answers anyway.

Billy continued. "Bella, I'm here first and foremost to thank you. If it weren't for you I would be dead or worse. I know what you did almost cost you your own life. I want you to know that I'm grateful."

"I didn't-" She stopped, sighed, then replied, "You're welcome. I did what anyone in my place would have done."

"But there isn't anyone quite like you, is there?" He chuckled gently.

"I guess not," she answered.

Billy shifted in his seat as he gave her a measuring glance, then sighed in beguiled resignation. "I should be used to dealing with supernaturals by now," he said suddenly. "But I don't know how to classify you."

Bella thought for a minute before she responded. "I'm human, Billy," she said. "Just...amplified, I guess."

He nodded. "Your ability...how long have you had it?"

"For as long as I can remember," she answered. "Carlisle has been helping me control it."

He flinched at the name, just slightly, but it was visible enough for Bella to see it. The man still had his prejudices.

"So...before you worked with Carlisle, you couldn't control it?" He asked, trying to understand.

"No," she replied softly, thinking of Sarah Black and the hundreds others that lost their lives because, through no fault of their own, they crossed paths with her at exactly the wrong time. "It controlled me."

"Does your father know?" He asked.

"Yes," she said, looking down to hide her pain. "He doesn't know I hang out with vampires though. Or with shape-shifters."

Billy nodded slowly. His gaze was so deep and perceptive, Bella felt she was under a microscope.

"Well...thank you for answering my questions," he said then sighed heavily. "Bella, I've come to warn you as well. The pack and the other elders have accepted my word on what happened but they are still suspicious. They don't like our secrets in the hands of outsiders. The Cullens-"

"They didn't break the treaty," she said quickly. "I swear it. I figured it out from the legends Jacob told me. It wasn't his fault either-he thought they were just stories. Billy, the Cullens _did not_ break the treaty."

He nodded. "All right," he said. "I'll convey that to the others but I don't know how much good it'll do. But it's not just the business with the treaty. You're an anomaly. A wild card. Your immense power and the fact that you fraternize with our natural enemies makes all of us nervous. This is not a threat, please don't misunderstand me. But I thought it prudent to make sure you are aware...your future actions, should they impact the tribe in any way, will be watched and judged very closely. You should be careful."

How on earth did she end up in such a convoluted mess?

"Ok," she said, bewildered. "Thanks for the heads up."

"It's the least I can do," he said.

She thought the meeting was over but Billy's demeanor suddenly changed...and not for the better. He picked at his denim jeans and swallowed hard. He stared intently at the empty space on the bench next to Bella for what felt like an eternity before he took a deep breath and looked up at her again.

"Bella," he said softly. "I'm going to ask you something...and I want your word that you will answer me truthfully, no matter what. Can you do that?"

Bella hesitated but then nodded. That he came here himself to warn her meant a lot and the least she could do was honestly answer any other questions he had. She held her breath, waiting.

"Please tell me exactly how my wife died."

She exhaled. And she froze. Despite legs that could carry her to the ends of the earth, there was nowhere to run. Not this time. So he was awake long enough to hear James...He heard him implore Bella to kill the next member of the Black family. Billy had heard just enough to connect the dots.

"Please, Bella," he whispered. "I need to know."

"Sarah was trying to help me," she began shakily. Bella honored her promise and told Billy everything. Her near-death experience due to dehydration. Sarah finding and reviving her by the side of the road. And the tragic events that led to her death. When she finished, Bella felt strangely disconnected from everything around her...like an untethered balloon that could float away any second. In the past she often thought about what she'd say, how she'd explain herself if ever confronted with a victim's family member. 'Sorry' was so pitiful. And what would they care if she stressed that she never meant for it to happen? How was it any consolation to know that a loved one's life was snuffed out due to someone else's mistake? Or because of a billion to one stroke of bad luck?

She finally looked at him and saw that his head was bowed down. She quickly looked away again because then it would be easier to pretend he wasn't crying...but of course he was.

"Thank you for your honestly," he croaked, and Bella looked down at her feet. She hated that he was thanking her for anything. He should be stabbing her through the heart.

"I'm so sorry, Billy," she whispered because she had to say something. She closed her eyes but was surprised to feel, a moment later, Billy's hand lightly covering hers. He touched her for only an instant, then immediately pulled back and started to roll away. There was nothing left for him to say.

Bella watched him wince from the effort to maneuver the chair through the grass, and she got up without thinking and helped him get to his van. She stopped when they reached pavement and watched in silence as he got into the driver's seat and started the engine. For a few long seconds, they observed each other through the window...Billy with wet eyes, Bella with uncharacteristically dry ones. The spell was soon broken by Billy. He nodded ever so slightly and drove away, leaving her standing alone in the dark.

But it wasn't over.

When she heard the leaves rustle, she knew. She could've been blind; she still would have known. The dive her stomach took was indication enough and it only sank further after she turned around.

It was Jacob.

Bella stood deathly still. Jacob too was rooted to his spot under the trees...as if both of them were under Bella's hypnotic power, each transfixed on each other. Jacob looked older. His body had grown even more in mass, hard as it was to believe. No one who saw him for the first time would ever guess his real age. Her eyes raked up his massive chest and rested on his face. It was wet with falling tears. Despite the massive build of the young man before her, his face still looked like a child's; a child crying for his mother. Jacob always wore his emotions for all to see. Excitement, mischief, anger...it was always there. It was so unlike Bella who rarely displayed for others more than what she chose to reveal. Looking at Jacob now though, it occurred to her that the devastated, lost look on his face was the personification of her own, often concealed feelings. This is how innocent people look when their world is thrown out from underneath them. This is how Bella might have looked once upon a time.

But the innocent little girl was long gone.

 _I killed both our mothers_ , she thought. Bella and Jacob would always have that in common. It would always define them. But Jacob had the advantage of innocence to help him wake up each morning. Bella...she had to walk a dangerous tightrope between victim and criminal; between good intentions and monstrous consequences. Even if she manages to cross that abyss, will she be worthy of forgiveness in the end...or of condemnation? And when the judgement is finally handed down, will she find it in herself to accept it?

Jacob looked down, then quickly turned and disappeared back into the forest. It was minutes after his disappearance that Bella realized her face too was wet with tears.

Bella took a deep breath. Then another. And another. Gradually she felt herself calm down. Gradually she returned to the emotional equilibrium she had perfected over the years.

"He just needs time," as soft voice sounded from the door. It was Jasper.

"He needs to heal," he said, walking closer until he stood right by her. "It felt like you might need a hand."

She felt a rush of gratitude for him and immediately let herself succumb to whatever comfort he could give her.

"No, Bells. You misunderstand," he said softly. "I'm not using my gift. Sometimes...the best thing a person can do for another is not to help them."

Disappointed, she nodded reluctantly and let him hug her gently. But Jasper was right. She'd gone years without any crutches. She _can_ get through this and, there was comfort in that at least. After a minute during which Bella collected herself mentally, Jasper spoke again.

"I've been tasked with escorting you back," he said.

"Afraid I'll trip over my own feet?" She said softly, smiling for the first time since she stepped outside.

He smiled. "No, but we're not going back in there," he said pointing to the country club. "Rosalie has a surprise for you."

* * *

**Scene 3 soundtrack: "Expression" and "Wishes" by Helen Jane Long**

* * *

You couldn't tell from ground level, but the roof on top of the school was decorated so brightly Bella had to squint when she opened the door. Every vertical surface was covered with twinkling white christmas lights, and when she turned to her favorite enclave, she saw even more lights strewn across the high walls around it so that if you looked up, literally all you'd see was night and light. Soft music played from a mysterious location Bella couldn't see.

"What do you think of Alice's handiwork?" Jasper asked as he led her around.

"Jasper!" Alice appeared out of nowhere and chastised her husband. "You weren't supposed to tell her I did it! I wanted her to wonder for a bit."

"As if anyone else is crazy enough to go to these lengths," Bella laughed, truly happy and dumbfounded at what her friends had done. "Did you clean out the Home Depot for these?"

"And Lowe's," Alice affirmed smugly. "In two different towns."

Bella shook her head in amazement. "I'm touched," she said. "But why all this trouble?"

Alice rolled her eyes but smiled gently. "Because-"

"Because," Rosalie drifted in suddenly right in front of Bella. "You deserve a real prom. One where you don't have to pretend."

Bella gulped when she saw her. Though it had only been an hour since she left the ballroom, and indeed, Rosalie had changed nothing of her appearance or attire since then, Bella's heart still skipped a beat at the sight. Maybe it was the twinkling lights reflecting off her dress, her eyes, and her very skin...but Rosalie had never looked more angelic than she did now.

Rosalie reached down, and very gently cupped her face and kissed her. Bella sighed and the worries, the sadness, and the guilt had no choice but to leave her body which was now flooded with happiness.

_Flash!_

"Sexy!" Emmett yelled from behind the camera in his hands. He took a few more while Alice tisked and Jasper shook his head, mockingly embarrassed for his friend.

"What?" Emmett grinned. "It is."

"Give me the camera," Alice narrowed her eyes. Emmett pouted, but Alice stood firm and held out her hand. "I'm the artist here," she stuck out her tongue at her brother. "Rosalie, please escort your date to you-know-where."

"Just go with it," Rosalie said to her. So she took the offered hand and let Rosalie lead her to a section of the roof a little further away. Bella shook her head in amazement when she saw it. It looked like a photographer's studio. There were all kinds of weird lights and decorations and even more christmas lights.

Alice snapped picture after picture. Bella and Rosalie posed like the lovers they truly were. Emmett and Alice kept pressing them into more intimate poses, and though she rolled her eyes at the pair, she nonetheless snapped a mental picture of the feel of Rosalie every time they changed positions. Nothing in the world felt more right than Rosalie wrapping her arms around her from behind. It was as if the blonde was telling her in her own way, _I will support you...You'll have to face whatever's coming but I'm right here behind you._

"And now," Emmett took a deep bow and motioned for them to follow him. "...the first dance."

Emmett smiled brightly at the pair and stepped aside to reveal a large open space. It was the dance floor, presumably. When they passed him, Bella made sure to hold eye contact with him long enough to convey her love and appreciation for him. Where would she be if he hadn't welcomed her into what, for the vast majority of people, was an exclusive contract? Emmett understood what few others did: that a love shared did not constitute a division, but a multiplication. _Her heart got that much bigger when you entered her life_ , he told her a long time ago. It was true. Watching Rosalie, Bella could see that this woman would not be the same woman without Emmett. Would it make a difference if Emmett was out of the picture? Yes, it would, Bella thought, but not for the better. Emmett was a part of Rosalie and without him, she would be incomplete. That Emmett saw the same thing with Bella decades after their marriage...there was no better testament to his character, or his love for her, than that.

Rosalie took the lead as usual. She held her close the way they had both wanted earlier. And though Alice and Jasper would later accompany them on the dance floor, and she would personally levitate Emmett and make him join them in a strange tangle of limbs, laughter, and lots of tripping, for now it was just Bella and Rosalie. Dancing with her...it was almost like flying. No, it was better than flying. Despite all the horrible things that led to this moment, Bella was grateful _to have_ this moment. Despite what she'd have to face with Jacob and the wolves, James' words that still haunted her, and the slideshow of death that never stopped playing in her mind, right now, here, fully embraced in Rosalie's arms, nothing else mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Closing soundtrack: "A Song of Simplicity" by Elijah Bossenbroek
> 
> Author's note III: Well folks, we're approaching the 1-year anniversary! Can you believe it? I want to thank everyone who's been reading, reviewing, following and favoriting. I especially want to warmly thank those of you who took a chance on this early on when it was just a couple of chapters and I was just starting to get my feet wet with this writing business. Thank you, thank you.
> 
> A lot has happened, and a lot more will come. I doubt I'll manage another 170,000 words, but have no fear! Part 3 of this epic will have some, er, epicness. That said, I do need to spend some time brainstorming over the finer points of what will come. Many of the major things I've already spent a ton of time thinking about, but much thinking remains. I'd love to hear what you want to see. What you think. Many of you are writers yourselves so believe me, I'll respect all ideas.
> 
> Things to look forward to:
> 
> -God damn it, will Bella be turned eventually or what?
> 
> -Rosalie has a burning question on her mind. And we know Bella's answer. Uh-oh, do I sense some serious angst coming up?
> 
> -The pack: now that the cat's out of the bag for everyone involved, what's going to happen? What role will Bella play?
> 
> -Victoria and Laurent?
> 
> -Charlie: do we hate that son of a bitch or do we pity him? Will he ever forgive Bella or should she give up on him?
> 
> -Edward...oh, Edward.
> 
> -Will Bella ever forgive herself?
> 
> -Will the Volturi show their pale, sickly faces?


	66. Frenzy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Eek that took forever. Me sorries. It's hard setting up for all the things that will come. And let me tell you, simply thinking takes a lot of effort.
> 
> Author's note II: Happy 1 year anniversary, Gifted! (1 year + 11 days to be exact) To celebrate, I've created a youtube playlist called The Music of "Gifted". There, if you're so inclined, you can find music mentioned in my author's notes, music that may or may not be mentioned in future chapters, and other pieces that I've listened to way too much over the past year as I've dreamed of and written this story. Odds are if you're cool enough (hehe) for a ffnet account you're cool enough for a youtube account. So...if you've enjoyed the pieces I've recommend, find me on youtube and subscribe! My handle is (surprise, surprise) darcythe2nd.

The glow that had settled over Bella, though still very much abuzz and aflame, was not enough to keep her from stirring yet again. Rosalie released a throaty chuckle and pulled her closer even though the distance between them was, at this point, inconsequential.

"I thought you humans needed your sleep," Rosalie murmured teasingly.

Bella smiled into the kiss she gave her, but otherwise paid no heed to the blonde's words. She'd pay for this in the morning perhaps, but in the meantime Rosalie was here beside her, and Bella's need coursed through her with such a power her very skin vibrated from the excess.

Sleep be damned.

Before she knew it she was sitting on top of Rosalie, straddling her and deepening her kisses like her very life depended on it.

Rosalie's teasing was only that. Her annoyance with Bella's need for sleep was no secret. She grumbled about it enough after lovemaking when Bella closed her eyes and waited for the darkness to claim her. It was a source of amusement for the young girl that Rosalie complained so vocally about a human trait when all the others carried for her such high esteem.

By all rights, Bella should've succumbed from exhaustion hours ago. A few times when Rosalie had brought her over the edge, she had clung to her, damp with sweat that made her shiver as it left her skin, and nearly drifted away only for her desire to well up again and overtake her like a tsunami wave.

She needed to touch her. She needed to feel.

Rosalie moaned. Bella showered her with deeper, fuller kisses as her hand travelled south. Bella's body shuddered when she made contact with the cool wetness there, and she whimpered incoherently as she inched inside. Her eyes fluttered all the while until she couldn't sink in any further. She was completely enveloped; completely surrounded. Rosalie's arms caged her in, compounding the consummation and warming her from the inside.

Rosalie trembled as Bella accelerated her movements, pulling out and pushing in as deeply as Rosalie's flesh would allow her, and with all the fervor her own mortal body could muster. Soon a fresh layer of sweat coated Bella's skin that betrayed that mortality. Along with it, her heart drummed madly in her chest.

The change on Rosalie's face was enough to make it skip a few beats, but Rosalie immediately followed through on her intentions and roughly pulled Bella's thighs apart as she-

"Mmmm..." Bella groaned. She lost the beat of her own ministrations to Rosalie's sex, but soon picked it up again; Rosalie's unrelenting pace in and out of her was guidance enough. She clutched at her face, closed the remaining gap and kissed her wildly. The sounds coming out of her mouth, and out of Rosalie's too were raw, unsullied and unfiltered. The hum in her throat complimented the thrumming in her ears; together creating what felt like an electric current through Bella's entire body.

Her eyes remained open. Centimeters apart from Rosalie, she could see her own silhouette reflected back at her in her golden eyes. The reflection's hue brightened for an instant before darkening markedly. Tiny creases appeared on Rosalie's otherwise perfect forehead. Bella knew the signs; she was about to come.

She held her. They held each other. Blood roared in Bella's ears as she too felt the band inside her getting tauter and tauter until it finally snapped.

Rosalie was the first to speak after long minutes of breathlessness. "It's not a competition you know."

Bella looked up. "What?"

"This frenzy you're in," Rosalie continued softly. "It's not like it's a competition between you two."

Bella stared, wondering what to make of Rosalie's words when their meaning registered. She blushed and hoped the illusion of awkwardness would disguise her relief. Rosalie had it wrong.

"I know t-that," she stammered and playfully swatted her lover's shoulder. "Can't a girl just be plain horny?"

Rosalie smiled. "Certainly," she said then kissed her firmly on the mouth. "But..."

"No buts," Bella tisked, then with a mischievous spark in her eyes she wiggled her fingers...fingers that were still lodged deep inside Rosalie. As she knew she would, the older girl squirmed and trembled, surprised. "And I'm not done with you."

She grinned internally at the conflicting emotions that passed over Rosalie's face: mild annoyance and unmistakable arousal. Bella's evasions were not lost on the vampire, but as perceptive as Rosalie was where her girlfriend was concerned, even she couldn't pass up the prospect of more love making.

A sigh, a deep moan, and Bella was once again lost in her adulation of Rosalie's body.

* * *

"I don't think this is such a good idea."

Jasper wore his reluctance like a second skin, but Esme would have none of it. She turned to him in the passenger seat beside her and gave him the best definitive look she could muster.

"You know why we're here, and you know it's an excellent idea." He started to protest but she shushed him. "We all went through this, Jasper. You just need to practice."

He gulped. Esme watched him struggle to hide his fear; he was a soldier after all...fear was something you locked inside a box that only you can open. She wished there was another way, but unfortunately the only other ways involved waiting at least a couple of decades. The family's experiences over the last year convinced her that they needed to shore up their (and she hated to put it this way) weakest link, Jasper.

He still wouldn't budge though. Ok then, Esme thought regretfully. She knew how to convince him.

"We can't have you losing control like that again," she said. As predicted, Jasper looked down in shame. "If the nomads return, or others, we all need to be able to walk into a crowded building to do our part."

Was it his regret she was feeling? Or her own for speaking such words? Whomever was the source, the emotion tore through her like a blade.

But it worked. Jasper nodded hastily and opened his door. Esme stopped him with a slight hand on his. "I won't leave your side," she whispered softly. Tenderness for the young man slowly eclipsed her shame. "It will be all right."

A small weary smile from him and a nod, and with that they strolled inside the crowded supermarket.

"Don't breathe," she whispered once they crossed the threshold.

She took an empty cart from the kiosk and, with Jasper following closely behind her, proceeded to fill it with food.

"Focus on the vegetables, not the blood," she said.

It was true that human food smelled bitter to the vampires. Vegetables, processed food, cooked meat-anything that wasn't raw and bloody really, were not things a vampire would ever willingly gravitate to. They weren't completely atrocious however, and the scents were relatively easy to accustom oneself to. These were things that could not be avoided when living among humans after all.

Jasper scrunched his face and did as she suggested. A few people gave them queer glances; Jasper really did look like he was constipated, so she made a show of asking after his stomach and inquiring about the appropriate medication.

It was in the pharmacy section where they spotted Charlie.

Esme, not Jasper, nearly lost control right there. She suppressed her growl barely in time when Jasper clasped her arm, and she tried to steer them away but it was too late. He saw them too.

"Es-Mrs. Cullen?" Charlie's voice rang out across the short aisle. He fumbled with the receipt at the counter and walked towards them, but Esme would have none of that.

"We can't just ignore him," Jasper whispered. Charlie's presence, though not welcomed by either of them, was nonetheless for Jasper a welcomed distraction from the rest of the humans.

"Oh yes we can," Esme hissed.

"Wait!" He begged her, and she stopped trying to leave when she heard the urgency in his voice. "I want a chance to read him. Please."

She huffed. Fine. But she wasn't going to play nice.

"Mr. Swan," was the cool greeting from her when Charlie reached them. The man stopped in his tracks now that he was face to face with them. He glanced from Esme's face, not even trying to hide her disdain, to Jasper's.

"I, uh…" He gulped. "How is Bella?"

"She's fine," Esme practically spat out. "She's safe, healthy, and happy."

Charlie looked to Jasper-Esme's venomous glare was too unsettling-but found his face devoid of emotion. Jasper stood still and watched him struggle to speak. Charlie clearly wanted to say more but Esme might well have a force field in front of her. She was impenetrable.

"She's staying in a cottage on our property," Jasper spoke up. Charlie's eyes widened, eager for more details.

"Would it be alright if I stop by sometime?" He asked, hopeful. "To say hello?"

This time Esme really did growl, a low rumbling from her chest that reverberated up her throat. Charlie looked ready to wet his pants as he took a step back.

"Get a hold of yourself!" Jasper whispered in the space between Charlie's racing heartbeats.

She blinked. Took a breath. "That's not up to me" she said. "If she wants to see you, of course you can come."

Fear transformed to despair. "She won't answer any of my calls," he murmured. "I don't know what to do."

The steel returned to Esme's voice. "You can hardly blame her. After the way you treated her. Your accusations! She was injured trying to prove her innocence. Trying to prove it to you!"

So many lies, so many half-truths. As far as the school and the police were concerned, the official story was that Bella was present in the stands that day as a spectator. She received her injuries while evacuating the building with everyone else. On the hospitals' end, where the nature of her injuries would have been too suspicious under trained eyes, Carlisle used his influence to limit how many people actually saw the girl. After Charlie saw Billy and heard his (heavily edited) story, Carlisle convinced him to sign for her release into his care. It was easy; Charlie was in a daze that night. Carlisle told her they probably could've gotten him to sign adoption papers and he would be none the wiser. Esme had gritted her teeth after that, wishing they had had that foresight.

But as for what Charlie knew, that was more murky. James had personally attacked him after all. He never faced him or the other nomads, thank god, or their situation would be massively more complicated, but the Cullens could not hide Bella's involvement in the events of that night.

Fortunately, Billy Black saved them from having to weave more lies. He did it himself. And he did it gladly, eager to help Bella, his savior, escape scrutiny.

"She could have died!" Esme hissed angrily, and she knew Charlie knew that much at least. He could never learn of the razor thin line Bella had walked, so close to James the vampire's fangs. But thanks to Billy, he at least had some idea of how close she came to James the arsonist's madness. How close she came to being crushed under rubble.

Charlie shrank back, nodding. "I know," he choked. "I'm so sorry. Please tell her how sorry I am. I'll never let her down again, I swear. I swear it!"

Too little, too late, Esme wanted to say. But even she wasn't that cruel. So she only nodded and after stiff and awkward goodbyes, she pulled her "son's" sleeve and left.

"The nerve of him," Esme seethed once they were safely in the car. She pictured a thousand things she wanted to do to him while stepping heavily on the gas, lurching the car forward and out of the parking lot.

"Will you please calm down now?" Jasper whimpered. He gripped his seat, hard enough that it might tear if the indignation didn't fade from around him. It seeped in and out, through him, influencing his own emotions and overpowering his defences. As good as he was with emotions, he would always be thwarted by anger's power. Anger and hatred were solid and black, and they could suffocate him or worse, make him an unwilling host to their cancer.

Esme looked apologetic and, after a few moments, calmed down. The rancor in the air slowly but surely dissipated, and Jasper visibly relaxed.

"He was genuine," he said after some time. Esme looked at him. He continued. "He's disgusted with himself. He was telling the truth."

She waited but he said no more. The nurturing, caring side of her wanted to keep talking; it wanted to bring up what they both saw. But every time she tried to speak she saw Bella's wounds, healed now but imprinted forever in her memory. And those were the wounds visible to the eye...

Esme and Jasper had both seen it. His pale countenance, the heavy circles under his eyes. And under his arm, secure from humans' lines of sight but not from theirs, prescription bottles for sleep medication and antidepressants.

* * *

Bella wondered how normal people managed to shed the weight of their pain when they couldn't fly. She always wondered this when she took to the sky, before she remembered that normal people weren't weighed down by the pain she carried.

Her body warmed from the inside out; an involuntary reaction to the cold wind that rushed under and over and sometimes, through her. Higher and higher. Faster, faster, faster. Over the Strait of Juan de Fuca. Past the Canadian border. Vancouver. Provincial parks. Dozens of mountain peaks. The whole of British Columbia passed below her. Soon she was miles past the Top of the World Highway. Top of the world...she couldn't help but grin. _Who's on top of the world now?_

Even thousands of feet above it, the Nahoni Range was still impressive, majestic. All traces of civilization remained far, far behind Bella.

Without a change in speed, Bella suddenly dived. As she got closer to the surface she saw the markers clearly under the starlight and corrected her course.

The wreckage she and Rosalie had created was like a guiding light.

She landed on her feet, and just like that the lightness of being she felt when flying disappeared. In its place was restlessness. It burned and stung and choked its way through her. On her nights with Rosalie, she could take that energy and pour it into her lover. But tonight, as she did on many nights now, Bella elected to fly away from it...fly away and hope that prickling energy got lost.

It never did. Not by itself anyway.

The cabin stood twenty or so yards from the edge of the debris. There were still patches of snow on the roof, evidence of a long winter gone by, that had yet to melt under the summer sun. Bella liked to step inside when she came here to let the memories of that week with Rosalie wash over her, but not tonight. Tonight the energy was too strong. Her need was too powerful. Her thoughts were too toxic.

 _You were born to destroy_ , James' voice echoed in her mind.

She was airborne again but only for a few seconds. A few hundred yards away from the cabin...safe enough. Safe for the cabin...not for these trees.

Bella closed her eyes but it was no use. James was still there. Still laughing. Still touching her. Kissing her. Beseeching her to join with him.

To kill for him.

No, she thought. There will be no deaths tonight. But there will be fire. Lots of fire.


	67. Alice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Alice hummed a tune out loud as she walked from the family's house to what was now Bella's cottage. And it was Bella's cottage, whether or not the girl in question liked to refer to it that way. She grinned, remembering the day her and Esme's plot came to fruition, and they handed Bella the keys to the decrepit little house that had been languishing on their property for decades.

_"Three vampires coaxing an innocent human girl far into the woods," Bella joked. "What are you three planning and should I be scared?"_

_It was the day after prom. Bella slept soundly till noon, worn out the way none of them felt after a long night of dancing. Rosalie had taken the opportunity, and both she and Emmett had gone to hunt, returning right before Bella awoke. Alice and Esme snatched the blonde as soon as she arrived and told her their intentions._

_Rosalie was thrilled, to put it mildly._

_Alice chuckled to herself at the territorial dispute going on behind Bella's back during the long walk. Esme had planted herself beside Bella, striking up an animated conversation about bathroom fixtures. Rosalie's ire was no doubt because the human was too distracted to hold her hand or pay her any attention while they walked._

_"Oh, shut up," Rosalie mumbled as she fell back to match Alice's stride, a few paces behind Bella and Esme._

_Alice stuck out her tongue. "Now, now," she whispered. Her tone was light but her words well-chosen. "You know better than to begrudge them of this."_

_Rosalie rolled her eyes, but had the wits to hold her tongue. She knew Alice was right._

_During her recovery, Esme's maternal feelings had only multiplied. Of the family, she alone did not have obligations like school or colleagues who would miss her if she disappeared for a month, and so it was she who helped Bella with the majority of her day-to-day needs while immobile from her casts. It didn't take a genius to see how much Esme loved mothering over her, and though Bella spoke little of it, how much that growing relationship meant to the young girl._

_"Will she accept?" Rosalie's question brought her out of her musings._

_"Not a clue," grumbled Alice. "Not one vision..."_

_Much to her chagrin, whatever kept Bella out of her visions was now back in full force. The girl had a vexing habit of keeping the knots of her plans untied so Alice couldn't catch wind of them, a habit that refused to die from the days in which she kept her knowledge of their true beings a secret. But it was more than that. There were many times when Alice knew Bella was making a decision; they would be sitting in the living room together playing chess, and she knew Bella was determining options for her pieces...and still Alice got nothing. It was as if the same iron wall that existed between Bella's mind and Edward now formed between her and Alice's visions. The murky clouds of the past would be a godsend at this point. They, at least, were traversable with some effort._

_She tried not to attach too much significance to this problem; Alice did not have an unalienable right to watch over anyone's future after all, and if Bella had a gift for extra privacy from the likes of Edward and herself, so be it. But...why? Why now? A year ago, it got easier to see her the more control Bella gained over her fiery gift. What did it mean now that it was virtually impossible?_

_"We're here," Esme said, interrupted her thoughts._

_Alice held back to hide her excitement. Please don't be a proud idiot and accept, damn it, she thought._

_"What's 'here'?" Bella asked, looking at the structure before them, confused._

_The cottage had stood on the edge of the Cullens' property since they purchased the land. They weren't precisely clear on when it was built but judging by the masonry, it was likely older than all the younger vampires. Until a few months ago it was the very picture of abandonment: decrepit, broken windows, crumbling stones, and weeds that could ensnare a small child._

_The building as it stood now was, on the surface, still a sad looking place. But much work had gone into it even though most of it was not obvious. The foundations which before were sagging and dangerous, were now safe and sound. The old masonry was replaced with newer, stronger stones. Instead of an outhouse, the cottage housed its first bathroom complete with all the plumbing needed. Where there was once only a hearth for cooking, there was now space for a small but full kitchen. The house boasted new glass for all its windows, as well as fresh insulation in all its walls._

_To untrained eyes though, it still looked like crap. But that, Esme and Alice were betting, would be its biggest selling point._

_"What is this?" Bella asked again._

_"We're hoping...that you'll consider making this your new home," Esme said tentatively._

_Immediately, Bella stopped in her tracks and backed away. "No, no, no."_

_"Bella!" Alice tisked while deep down she thought 'that obstinate girl.' "Look at the place before you refuse. We're not giving you a luxury chalet. It's practically a dump."_

_Oh it had taken considerable willpower not to disobey Esme's rules and really fix this place up. With vampire speed and between the two of them, they could've made this a dream house in no time. But that would've made convincing Bella to take it impossible, Alice now knew. Even as it is, Bella's response could go any which way. Ugh! Damn it, she wanted to see!_

_"Please think about it," Rosalie implored. She reached for Bella's hand. "You cannot go back to Charlie's. You absolutely can't."_

_Bella was very much planning on that. "The shed is far enough from the house," said Bella. "I'm pretty sure he'll do whatever I ask, and I'm planning to ask him-to demand that he leave me alone."_

_"And if you didn't have a family that loves you, that would be fine," said Esme. "But honey, we're here. You're part of our family. Aren't we part of yours?"_

_Very nice, Esme, thought Alice. Play the family/guilt card._

_"Of course you are!" Bella cried out. "But this-it's too much. I can't accept this gift. I'm sorry."_

_Esme sighed. Alice and Rosalie, who knew the next hand in Esme's play, waited with bated breaths._

_"Who said anything about this being a gift? There's a payment I'd like to discuss with you," She said._

_Bella's face predictably turned to her, quizzical. Alice could see her struggling but curiosity finally got the best of her and she asked, "What do you mean?"_

_"I mean," Esme said slowly, "this place is in shambles. It needs a ton of work. The kitchen is nonexistent. It needs to be designed from scratch. The floors are a mess. Everything has to be painted and cleaned. Not to mention the yard is a nightmare. I've always wanted to fix this place up and turn it into a showcase for my business, but have never found the time. If you agree to take on this job and fix this place up, your payment will be room and board right here."_

_Alice and Rosalie looked from Esme to Bella and waited. She was looking at her, perplexed both at Esme's business offer and the transparency of what she was doing. Of course, Esme could have fixed this cottage up by herself in a few days. With her vampire speed and strength, she could have created a feature for Architectural Digest if she was so inclined._

_"And once I've finished? Hypothetically speaking of course," Bella added._

_"Then...our agreement comes to an end. You give me back the keys," said Esme._

_Bella narrowed her eyes. "Come on, Esme. You don't think I see what you're doing?"_

_Esme's eyes widened and she plastered a look of innocence on her face. Alice almost laughed-she looked more like a devious teenager planning her escape from parental punishment in that moment that a supposed mother of six, now seven._

_"All I'm doing is what's best for my business. I need this cottage fixed up. You are more than capable for the job."_

_She topped off her performance with a cross of the arms and a pivot on her feet so she wasn't staring directly at the girl. The decision was Bella's now._

_Bella turned her suspicious face from Esme to the cottage. Despite the obvious plot afoot, Alice could see the gears turning in her head. It was a good offer, the very best Esme could make. Bella was too proud to outright accept a free stay, even in a hideous place like this. The girl obviously loved the work she'd been doing with Esme up until now. She'd taken to it like a duckling in water. Designing from scratch, making something with her hands...Bella would get to do all that and more with this little place._

_And it would put her just a couple of miles from the main house. And far, far away from her father's reach._

_Rosalie reached for Bella's hand. "Please?" She whispered._

_They looked into each others' eyes, and Alice knew the decision was made. Oooh! Alice barely hid her squeal of excitement-she couldn't wait to start filling up that closet! She'd made sure they gouged out a hole in the bedroom wall big enough for one._

"Honey, I'm home!" Alice shouted when she reached the door.

A minute later, a blue haired Bella opened the door and ushered her in.

"Er, nice hair-do," Alice commented.

"Thanks! Don't tell Rose but I might keep it," Bella laughed referring to her blue paint stained hair.

"Oh boy," Alice shook her head. She had certainly taken the 'business deal' seriously. It had only been a week and the place was looking more livable than it ever had in half a century. The cement floors were free of debris and relatively clean looking, and the walls shone brightly with fresh point. The blue in Bella's hair matched the blue of one of the living room walls, which the girl was clearly in the middle of painting.

"Let me just wash my hands, ok?" Bella said and Alice waved her off. She looked for a place to sit in the meantime and chose the wooden park bench that Emmett had brought a few days ago. Somehow that seemed better than one of the beach chairs that littered the room. There was no other furniture, Alice knew, save for the bed in the small bedroom (Rosalie had insisted on that) and a large table out here in the living room, and there probably wouldn't be until Bella figured the feng shui or whatever it is people like Bella and Esme did when furnishing a room (Alice obviously did not share their interest).

Anyway.

She waited as patiently as she could while Bella cleaned up. She tried, but no visions of Bella came. Frustrated, she tried again with herself this time. This time, she did see something. She saw herself...distressed over something. Had there been more time, she would have fretted some more about it but it was too late. Her friend was coming back.

* * *

Bella gathered what she needed from her room and hurried back to Alice, who was fidgeting impatiently in her seat. She couldn't blame her-Bella was pretty cryptic about why she wanted to see her and Alice strongly disliked being in the dark.

Well, Bella was about to shed light on unquestionably the darkest corner of Alice's life.

"Alice," she started softly. "I have something to tell you."

She thumbed over the manila envelope in her hands, an action that caught Alice's attention.

"I didn't tell you the whole truth before. About James," she continued.

"Something...else happened that night?" Alice asked, rapt with attention.

Oh yes, there were many somethings that happened that night and that Bella had not disclosed. That was the truth. But today, she would weave yet another lie.

"James said some things before he died. About you," said Bella. "About...your past."

Alice's eyes widened and she sat up even straighter.

Bella took a deep breath. "James is the reason you became a vampire, Alice. He hunted you...90 years ago. And you escaped."

Alice blinked.

"You saw him coming, even when you were human," Bella continued as she slid the envelope towards her. "You were held...in a mental asylum. James said your visions scared your family and that's why they put you in there. Nobody believed you when you said he was coming of course, but there was a vampire who worked for the institution who understood that you were gifted, and that you were telling the truth. He...turned you to protect you. It worked. When James found you in the middle of your transformation, he lost interest and killed your friend instead."

Alice sat frozen in her spot, listening to every word she said. She would no doubt replay these minutes many times in the days and weeks to come as she grappled with this information.

She spoke up, her voice small and fleeting. "Why did you wait so long to tell me?" She asked in a not quite but still obviously accusatory tone.

Bella nudged the envelope closer to her. She waited for Alice to open it. "I had to make sure before I told you something like this. I had to make sure he was telling truth. And I did. He was."

In the envelope were, thanks to the research databases at the Seattle Public Library, copies of a Mississippi birth and death certificate, a few short obituaries, and a grainy cell phone picture of a group of grave markers.

"My name is Mary Alice Brandon," Alice whispered as her eyes ran over the few words on the pages. The desperation in her eyes tore at Bella, who could only watch wordlessly as Alice devoured the proof in front of her. She was glad she took the extra step of procuring hard evidence. Not only did it make her feel better about delivering such life changing news, it also kept Alice's focus off of her and on the documents in her hands. Hopefully Alice would be too distracted to suspect she did not in fact learn any of this information from James himself, but from Edward.

"But...why can't I remember?" Alice cried out.

Oh, Alice, Bella thought sadly.

"I didn't find much on that asylum," Bella answered her softly. "But places like that did some nasty things back then. Shock therapy without anesthesia..." Bella swallowed. "Memory loss is one of the side effects."

Alice clutched the papers in her arms, and Bella looked at her helplessly. Edward should have done this. That bastard owed it to his sister...but so long as his actions remained secret from the family he never would have said anything. And Alice had to know. Bella's only other choice was telling the family everything, and Bella didn't want to do that. Not yet.

A pleading look passed over Alice's face. "Will you come with me?" She asked. "To help me tell them?"

"Of course," Bella got up and led Alice, who could hardly take one step on her own, out of the cottage.

The past, it seems, will always catch up with you and knock you down.


	68. She-Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

His paws gripped the shifting earth beneath him. His muscles, more powerful than those of any mortal being, flexed hard enough to tear. The surrounding night was brilliantly lit. If he were still man he would see none of it. But these eyes did not belong to man.

Faster, faster. In the blink of an eye he had crossed the length of a football field. More speed. He could run like this and leave the foliage intact. His newer brothers had trouble still. Running behind them was like running behind an angry tank; your path was a debris field. But he didn't have to worry about that. He was the fastest of them all.

'Keep dreaming, Jakie!'

Jacob growled. His thoughts echoed the real grinding sound that came from his throat. A white blur just off his peripheral vision caught up to him and sped past.

'Leah! Get back in formation!' Jacob shouted. Actually he shouted in his mind. Wolves did not possess vocal chords after all. But that wasn't an issue thanks to their peculiar ancestries. Giant, magical Indian wolves can read each other's mind. Figures.

'No fracking way you mutt!' Leah shouted back. Mental images of himself licking his anus assaulted his mind and, from the laughter of the other wolves around him, their minds as well. 'Why should I stare at your mangy ass all night when I'm the fastest of you lot? I go in front!'

Aarrghh, he spit and yapped at the offending figure clouding his view but Leah, much to his chagrin since she phased, was indeed the fastest of them.

'Enough,' Sam's heavy voice sounded from his left and Jacob immediately halted all outward forms of aggression. His thoughts on the other hand...well, even Sam's alpha voice had a limit.

'Leah _is_ the fastest,' Sam said, and Jacob could barely contain his indignation at his next words: 'She can lead, for now.'

She can lead, for now...Jacob fought off the urge to openly mock his Alpha. Psh, what a load of bull. Sam was just looking for any opportunity to give Leah something she wanted. Anything if it meant she'd turn down the angst directed at him and Emily...the angst that they could all feel like it was their own.

Leah's grievances may be a pain in the ass for the pack to deal with, but it was Jacob's churning thoughts that were lately the bigger annoyance for them. Jacob's state of mind these days was...unruly at best.

_It was all her fault._

Everything was her fault. Everything.

Bella Swan murdered his mother. Bella Swan was spreading those leeches' scents all over the region, forcing his kind to phase. Bella Swan was why Seth and Leah's dad was dead. Bella Swan was why his own dad was almost killed.

His sped up, almost reaching Leah but not quite. The rage that he felt was like a hot knife. And the sadness. Bella Swan...she was his best friend before all of this. How could she do this to him? How could the impossibly beautiful and kind girl she loved be one of them? And now she was the poster child for every ailment he and his tribe experienced. The leeches at least couldn't help what they were. Bella Swan was a human like him. Only she was a human who liked to kill...

'There!' Sam shouted, breaking up his thoughts and forcing him back into the real world. 'Jacob, Leah, Jared: flank them from the right! Seth, you're with me!'

Instincts meshed with the Alpha's orders and the group split up in a heartbeat. One. Two. Three. In the time it takes to count to three the pack had ventured to their assigned places, running faster now, running as one to catch the monsters.

_They're villains! All of them! Bella included…_

But these weren't Bella's leeches. It was the other two, the ones that attacked his dad.

Payback's a bitch, he thought.

And he lunged.

* * *

"Hush it you two!" Bella exclaimed frantically. "You're going to get me fired!"

Emmett chuckled louder yet, paying no heed to Bella's warning nor, even worse, to the stern older man behind the reference desk.

"Bella Bear, your first day as a librarian and you're already shushing people," Emmett shook his head in glee. "Wait till I tell Jasper."

"Will you please stop shouting?!" Bella replied, amazed that Emmett really had no idea how loud he was. "And shelving books doesn't make me a librarian."

"Maybe you should challenge that guy to a few rounds of trivia then," Emmett said, though he finally brought his voice down to an acceptable whisper. "I'd like to win my money back from Jas-"

He was interrupted by a sudden intake of breath from Alice, who up until then was enjoying "helping" Bella with her new job in Forks' public library, and who was listening to her brother and Bella banter back and forth. Bella too looked at her, then unceremoniously deposited the book in her hand quickly on a shelf. Alice looked downright panicked.

"What's wrong?" Bella whispered, looking around. There weren't many people in this corner of the library. Aside from the irate librarian at his desk and a couple of elderly people perusing the rows of newspapers, there was no one else in this side of the library save herself and the two vampires. The other side of the building was teeming with children however. But aside from a faint echo of happy squeals, there was nothing in the area that signified danger.

Alice blinked and looked from Emmett to Bella. "I can't see us!" She said.

"What?" Emmett asked, bewildered. Well of course she couldn't see Bella. She rarely got a glimpse of their human these days.

"I can't see any of us," she whispered furiously.

If Alice couldn't see even herself and Emmett, that meant only one thing...there was no future for them.

Bella hissed and shoved aside her cart. The nomads. Were they going to attack? They would not get past her, she thought angrily. Bursts of liquid fire coursed through her body. Let them come. Bella was itching to burn something and Victoria and Laurent would do nicely.

When the main door opened Bella really did half expect to see the pair walk through it. She didn't get to see them but from Jasper's descriptions, they were hard to miss. But through the door, no red hair or dreadlocks, no bare feet, no pale skin, and certainly no fangs or red eyes appeared.

It was a young woman with bronze skin and fine brown hair cut short just past her chin. Bella barely had a chance to get a second look when she-and her friends beside her, froze dead in their spots.

Bella looked quizzically at the girl, whose former neutral expression had to turned to shock upon catching sight of the vampires. And she knew...this girl... _she knew_.

"She's one of them," Emmett whispered. Along with the intense dislike that was the norm when the subject of the Quileutes came up among her friends, Emmett's voice was also laced with beguiled surprise.

"One of the tribe? Are you telling me they _all_ know about you?" Bella asked in shock.

"No," Alice said impatiently. "She's one of _them_. She's a wolf."

"Oh," Bella still didn't understand the reason for the acute surprise. Ok, so they weren't exactly expecting to see a wolf in the library, but-

Wait a minute. "I thought only the men..."

"Yeah," Emmett nodded. "We thought so too."

Bella continued to evaluate the girl across the room. Her body screamed danger, and her posture was rigid as if a fight or flight reaction was imminent. Bella had mentally rehearsed what she'd do and say if she came across Jake or the other boys in the pack, but all that retreated to somewhere she couldn't reach as she watched this girl wolf. What could she say? 'Hello' seemed comically inappropriate. So did 'congratulations on joining the pack.'

But a second later it was painfully clear that no chance of any conversation was likely to occur between any of them. The girl's face contorted from deer in headlights to loathing. The change was sudden and the effect absolute. The abhorrence creeped over every one of her features until her eyes shone with brilliant anger and her face contorted in disgust. Indeed her entire body wound itself so painfully tight with barely controlled acrimony that she looked about ready to spring.

She did...she sprang back out the way she came.

"Well..." Emmett gave them a long side glance. "Think you can find a book in here that might explain Quileute genetics?"

"Curious," Alice said slowly, glassy eyed and looking into the distance. "I can see again."

Curious, indeed. Bella pondered on it with Alice and Emmett, or at least she appeared to. The girl's burning eyes flashed in her mind, and though she did not fear for her life in the least bit, she still shuddered. The girl's hateful expression did not come about when she looked at the vampires. Her face had changed from shock to hate when her eyes met Bella's.

All that malevolence...it was directed at her.

* * *

The ball was made of strips of flame sown together in a tight, heavy sphere. Laying on her back in bed, Bella tossed it up into the air and caught it when it came down. She threw it back up. She caught it once again.

_Once upon a time, a girl liked to play with fire._

She smiled at that.

_Her toy was hard to control, as one would expect. But when it got the better of her, it wasn't her who got hurt. It was everyone around her. She used to fight it. When she did, it would_ _hurt her heart. It used to hurt very much._

It used to. Bella remembered the agony of it. The agony of fighting with herself. When she defeated it, the monster would make her pay in ways invisible to anyone but her. No genuine flames may have touched her, but that didn't make their burning any less real. Her body, inside and out, was a patchwork quilt of invisible scars.

_But the monster was defeated. She learned to tame it._

It used to control her. Now she controls it. It no longer acts without her consent.

_But she was wrong. The monster wasn't defeated after all._

Screams. James' screams echoed like a symphony in her memories. Day by day, it grew more and more beautiful. She wanted to hear it again. The ball of fire rose and fell, rose and fell again and again. In it she saw his burning flesh. She saw his eyes straining in their sockets. She saw his head splintering off of his body. All the while his screams sang like an Ave Maria.

_Instead, the monster and she became one._

What did the wolf girl know that made her detest her so much? How much could Jacob have told her? How much did Jacob know?

Isn't killing his mother enough for them to hate you?

She had killed no one since. No one. Well, not including James. And a small squirrel.

So what did that girl see? What does she know, or thinks she knows about me?

She should talk to Rosalie. Or Esme. Hell, even Edward might have some good advice; he's seen through the wolves' minds after all. All of them were awake and just a couple of miles away.

But when she closed the door behind her and took to the sky, it wasn't in the direction of the house.


	69. Spy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Whew, a little over 24 hours between updates...Wow. It helps that I'm home sick with what feels like the plague. Won't you be a lovely audience and review? Pretty please?

Jacob held his breath. It was imperative that he get to his position without making a sound. He wanted to transform but if he did, the others would know what he was doing. Sam would find out eventually, as soon as he phased again and the link between their minds forged. But until that happened, this was his only chance to learn of what went on these damned secretive meetings.

 _He never forbade it_. He chanted the words in his mind but, while technically true, Jacob would definitely get into trouble for this. Council meetings were for council members only. It was implicitly understood that only Sam, the Alpha of the pack was permitted to attend.

_To hell with Sam._

Speak of the devil. Sam was the last to arrive, and he sauntered into the building used for tribal meetings without so much as a glance in Jacob's direction. Thank god, Jacob sighed and started to breathe naturally again.

"Thank you for coming, Sam."

Jacob rolled his eyes. It was ludicrous how much Sam and the rest of their comrades were worshipped, especially by this bunch who knew the full truth of what they were. The council treated them like kings, but what were they really? Prisoners. They were all bound to this place, to these people. Bound to be protectors. Bound to be trapped fighting.

"Sue," Sam greeted her as he shook her hand. "Quil. Billy."

"Let's get to business," Billy looked up at Sam expectantly. "What news?"

"We've caught their scent four times since the incident," Sam reported. "There's no pattern. Twice they've come from the north. Once from the south. Once from the sea. They've always stuck together, never splitting up."

Quil, the oldest member of the council croaked his question. "What do they want? Have they spoken at all?"

"They haven't said a word," Sam said. "Though, to be fair, we haven't tried to talk to them."

"It's getting difficult to contain," said Billy. "Hiking season is in full swing and the dead and missing are piling up. So far they've killed randomly but sooner or later the police is going to figure out it's the same perpetrators."

"We're trying," Sam was frustrated now. Jacob couldn't blame him. The way the elders were talking...they had no idea how difficult the last month has been on the pack. The most frustrating thing, other than why exactly they've lingered in their area, was that there were only two of them against their five. It was pathetic. And it was alarming. They were just as fast as the wolves. Just as agile. Just as deadly with their teeth and nails. They were true monsters. Killers.

Billy looked to the members of his council. "Perhaps it's time we ask-"

"No!" Sam interrupted gruffly. "We're _not_ going there."

"They can help you, Sam." Billy continued undeterred. "They know how to fight their own kind."

"Even if they wanted to help us, if we do this, we'll always be in their debt." Sam shook his head as he spoke as if shaking away the nightmare scenario that he envisioned. "That will have repercussions for decades if not more, just like your treaty did."

Silence.

"You question the treaty our ancestors made?" Billy asked slowly.

"All of us question it," Sam said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Billy sighed. He looked so old just then, older even than the ancient Quil. "I know it's hard after all the stories you've heard from us, from myself even. But the Cullens are not like the others. Our ancestors were wise to see it."

"There's no point arguing about this," Sue spoke up. "We can't undo the treaty. We can only honor it until they break it. And they haven't. Yet."

"So you've said," Sam said through gritted teeth. Jacob inched closer to the open window. He knew, just as the council members knew, exactly what Sam was thinking.

Billy wheeled himself forward, looking annoyed for the first time that night. "We have been through this. _Countless_ times. They did not reveal our secret. She found out on her own."

Countless times indeed. Jacob had never seen his father so insistent on anything as when he spoke of Bella Swan and the night he was held hostage. Billy had managed to put out the flames of warmongering among the council and the pack in the days after, as he repeated over and over that the Cullens had not broken their side of the treaty.

"My pack has too many cubs and not enough seasoned fighters, and that's why I went along with your claims. We'd never win in a fight against the Cullens. Not now. But you must realize...none of us believe it."

"I don't care what you believe!" Billy yelled. "We've chosen our path. It's done. The treaty still stands and I'll be damned if you make Bella Swan your reason for ignoring it!"

Whoa...to Jacob's knowledge, this was the first time any member of the council raised their voice to Sam Uley. Two months ago, the irony of Billy Black defending Bella and the Cullens against his own people would have brought him to his knees with laughter. Now, as was the case for too many hours of his long days, he didn't know what to think. Or what to feel.

Sam looked at him in shock. "How... _how_ you of all people can defend her...it's tearing Jacob apart!"

Billy shook his head. "She's just a girl," he whispered. "What happened with my wife..." he paused and looked Sam in the eye. "...is no different that what happened with Emily."

Sam flinched and looked away. It was the sharpest weapon Billy could draw against Sam, and the cruelest. Emily was Sam's imprint, the love of his life. And because of her proximity to him, she was an unwitting victim to his claws when he phased uncontrollably, and would have those horrible scars for the rest of her life. It was Sam's most regrettable act.

The four of them stood in silence. Only old Quil's labored breathing reached Jacob's ears as he strained to hear what, if anything, else would be said.

"The treaty stands...for now," Sam said with a tone of finality. And he left without another word. Jacob remained in his spot, hidden by shrubberies and a big garbage bin.

Inside, talking resumed albeit more quietly.

"I'm not saying you're wrong," Sue said to Billy. "But the girl does complicate things. Sooner or later, they're going to make her one of them. Even if you somehow convince the tribe that it doesn't violate the treaty, _which it most certainly would_ , we'll then have possibly the most powerful, most destructive vampire on our doorstep. You say the doctor helped her control her powers. What will happen if they get worse? If he can't help her again?"

"I don't know," Billy said desperately. "But until that day comes, Bella is a human being and that means she falls under our protection."

Ha. Jacob didn't have to see Sue's face to guess at the skepticism that must be painted on it. The pack doesn't classify Bella as human. They had no idea what she was, but no one that could do the things she could do with fire could be thought of as human. If she and the pack were ever to meet head on...Jacob doubted very much any of them would consider her a human to be protected, no matter how friendly she behaved.

Billy had given them all so much detail about that night. And Jacob too, though his hysteria with his first phasing colored his own version of events heavily, relayed what he could remember. The strange, horrid smells of the nomads and the Cullens. His utter panic. How Rosalie managed to make him cooperate. God, she was beautiful. Even through wolf eyes that could see the unnaturalness, the coldness of her features, he had been mesmerized by her. It was her, a sight he had grown accustomed to from seeing her with Bella so many times, that snapped him out of his blind panic.

Her voice had guided him from Charlie's house to that damned school. When he thought back on it, and he thought about _it a lot_ , he felt amazed that she managed to convince him to stay outside the school and not go inside to rescue his father and Bella himself. It wasn't until long after the evacuation and Bella and Billy were both taken to the hospital that Jacob really put together everything that had happened and what it meant. The legends were true. He was a wolf. The Cullens were bloodsuckers. And Bella...not only was she in love with one of _them_ , she knew about his people before even he did. Oh, and she could control fire.

Bella. Bella killed his mother. Bella saved his father.

The world was upside down and inside out, and Jacob just wanted everything to go back the way it used to be. He wanted to ride his motorcycle alongside Bella. He wanted to look forward to catching a glimpse of the impossible beauty that was her girlfriend. He wanted his biggest worries to be how he would graduate from high school and save for college.

But all of that was gone now. And he couldn't bring any of it back.

* * *

As Jacob got up from his spot and made to leave, another clandestine figure on the other side of the building dusted herself off. Leah Clearwater waited several more minutes until the remaining three council members left before she too headed home. She'd catch hell from Sam for this, but she didn't care. What could he do, really? Sam can go fuck himself.

* * *

"...We'll then have possibly the most powerful, most destructive vampire on our hands. You say the doctor helped her control her powers. What will happen if they get worse? If he can't help her again?"

"I don't know," Billy said desperately. "But until that day comes, Bella is a human being and that means she falls under our protection."

Sound was such a funny thing. It could travel for miles and miles if the conditions were just right. And Bella's powers ensured that conditions were perfect when she wanted them to be.

Miles straight up, the last of the council's words rose until they reached Bella's ears. In complete darkness she floated on a blanket of nothingness, and listened.

So the pack thought she was dangerous. Well, they're right. She could light them up from here, right now. What could be more dangerous?

_I don't want to kill them. But the nomads clearly do._

Or did they? It was pretty foolish what they were doing. Victoria and Laurent had the whole world for their hunting ground. The Quileutes aren't going to chase them across the globe. So why the cat and mouse game?

And why... _how_ could Billy have forgiven her so easily? She had left nothing out of her tale to him. He knew exactly how his wife had died. Bella didn't understand it, and to be frank the pack's distrust made a lot more sense. They didn't even know how many she had really killed. They didn't know how much she _wanted_ to kill...right at this moment. If that came to the light...well, even Billy would greenlight whatever Sam and Jake wanted to do to her.

_Rosalie's hair. Her hands. Her mouth. Her skin on mine._

She glided gently back to Forks, high in the black sky. People were dying. If pride was keeping the pack from asking the Cullens for help, maybe she could circumvent all that. No, she wouldn't risk putting her family in danger. But...Edward...

Bella laughed softly to herself as a plan started formulating in her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note II: Let me know your thoughts! Reviews kind of make life worth living especially when my head's all stuffed up with snot like it is right now.


	70. Heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Greetings from Disney World! Somehow, somehow I managed to write most of this in the last 3 hours after 12 hours of meandering outside amongst Harry Potter and minions. I hope this means the bout of writer's block I've been experiencing for the last month is over. Phew, finally got the damn words out!
> 
> Author's note II: For the second and last scene, listen to "I Giorni" by Ludovico Einaudi.

"You're asking me to do...what?!"

Bella resisted rolling her eyes and instead focused on remaining firm. Edward had his facts wrong. She wasn't asking.

Only ten hours had passed since she attended, albeit half a mile overhead, the tribe council's meeting. From the elders she had learned that Victoria and Laurent were prowling the surrounding area, that they were leaving corpses, and that the pack, despite their number, was no closer to eliminating them.

Bella didn't budge an inch. "Really, Edward. It's not that outlandish an idea. They'll probably welcome you into the fold."

Part of her felt a teensie wee bit bad...this idea of hers really was kind of nuts. Not to mention dangerous. But sympathy she did not have in spades at the moment, especially not for the bronze haired Vampire standing stupefied before her. _Least_ of all for him.

"They won't buy it," Edward insisted. "Laurent might. But not Victoria. She'll sense the danger immediately."

"You're not trying to kill her," Bella replied. "You're only to collect information. Find out what they want. Find out what it takes to get them to stop. Where's the danger?"

Edward stared at her. "If there's no danger, why don't you ask Rosalie to go?" He hissed.

"She'd be missed," Bella hissed back. "And last I recall, _you_ were buddy buddy with them."

He changed tactic. "Bella, this is madness," he pleaded. "If the wolves catch me they'll think I've broken the treaty."

"Then don't let them catch you," she said. "Don't travel on their land."

"I'd still be interfering in their affairs!"

Bella stood in silence for a minute before speaking again, slowly and carefully. "Harry Clearwater's two children are in the pack. If they continue to fight Victoria and Laurent, one of them could die. Now you're a lot of things, Edward, but I don't believe you want that to happen. You owe them. You owe me."

Funny how icy she felt when there was fire racing through her veins. Somewhere inside her she knew she should be horrified with what she was doing. If Edward didn't convince the others, then he could be in very real danger. Everything that he's done to her and against her aside...Bella should still feel a measure of sympathy for him. But the fact the she didn't...well, _that_ was causing her more distress than actually sending him on this "mission."

Edward bore his eyes through her and Bella knew she had him. He may be a dick...but he's a dick with emotions, and one of them was guilt for his role in the James debacle. If there was one thing Bella knew more about than fire, it was guilt and how to live with it. In the heyday of her destructive powers, she managed it by running away and hiding. It was the only thing she could do and so she did it. Edward's guilt, she knew, was eating away at him. He _needed_ to do something.

No reason why that "something" couldn't also benefit her.

"All right," he finally said.

* * *

Emmett breathed out a deep sigh as he settled down next to his mate and his favorite human…200 feet above ground. At least they had something solid to hold on to, in this case the thick branches of an extremely tall sequoia. He would've preferred a different location, but he had to admit the height thing was starting to grow on him. He always did like extremes, and though a fall wasn't going to kill him, a part of him that remembered the feeling of mortality and normal fears like a fear of height enjoyed the rush that hanging 200 feet in the air gave him.

"Bells, did you have a thing for heights before you discovered your wings?"

Bella, who was hanging upside down in midair, twisted back so she could look at him. She pondered on his question for a minute before answering slowly.

"Yeah I guess I did." She had a faraway look in her eyes. "Rooftops were a good place to sleep. And before…Before I liked to climb trees."

"So you could practice?" Rosalie asked from her perch.

"Yup, and so I could be alone."

Bella Bear without a care…or so she would have everyone think. She led a nomad existence for seven years…sometimes he wondered if she had never come to Forks, would she still be roaming the countryside in search of a quiet library and her next meal? If the unthinkable somehow were to occur and his family had to leave, would she go back to her lonely existence? Mostly he thought no. Having tasted family and friendship, even Bella would be incapable of going back. But sometimes…sometimes he'd catch a strange faraway look on her face…or she'd grow suddenly distant and aloof before she caught herself and reverted to the Bella they were accustomed to…or more disturbing, Jasper would catch from her strange feelings of self loathing, and he had no choice but to wonder just who is this girl who was mated to his wife.

"Come here, Bella," Rosalie beckoned her over, and the girl floated down to the closest branch without hesitation. His wife didn't mind indulging Bella's growing obsession with heights as long as she was tethered to something, and the branches up here did the job nicely.

Bella settled in on Rosalie's other side, yawning as she did.

"Sorry for keeping you up so late last night, Bells," he winked.

She shook her head. "That game was made by a vampire," she grumbled. "No way human reflexes can get past level 12."

"They can and they do, Belly Bear," he laughed. "You're just seriously off your game. If you commit to it like I do, you'll finally kick my ass."

Rosalie chuckled from in between them. "If by commit, you mean spending 18 hours a day in front of a television set, then don't count on it."

She thinks she's so high and mighty...ha!

Emmett punched her lightly (but not that lightly). "Excuse me, but who among us spent 2 straight days with her head inside a carburetor? Who decided to fly to Paris because she thought the 'closet was too trite?' Who took off all her clothes-"

"Enough, we get it!" Rosalie shouted.

"Um, no I want to hear that last bit," Bella grinned. "You took off your clothes and...?"

"...and if both of you don't change this subject immediately, neither of you are getting any for a month."

"Aw," both he and Bella pouted, but it was ok...he'd definitely tell her later. And if Rosalie found out, so what? Like hell she could last a month anyway.

He could still hear Bella giggling, and like him, he knew Rosalie was happy to hear her let go a little and act her age. She was supposed to be carefree. She was supposed to laugh at dirty jokes and take a little pleasure in someone else's cringe-worthy discomfort. Emmett had plenty of that and more when he was human, growing up with a number of older brothers. If Bella was going to join them soon (and he really, really hoped it would be soon), Emmett wanted to make sure she got at least a sampler of some human teenage normalcy before her heart stopped beating.

 _Ask her already, Rose!_ He yelled at his wife internally. Rosalie Hale, the ice queen who under normal circumstances stopped at nothing to have her way...who wouldn't hesitate to crush someone's hopes and dreams just to watch them squirm...was petrified at the prospect of talking to Bella. This past year was one for the books with it being so full of firsts for them, especially for himself and Rosalie...but damn if this wasn't actually happening right in front of him on a daily basis he'd be hard pressed to believe how much torture Rosalie was inflicting on herself.

She knew she was going to do it. He knew it, and he knew that she knew. And _she knew_ that he knew and that _all of them_ knew. The ifs had long given way to (quite persistent) whens. But...

But try getting Rosalie to stop questioning herself.

A cloud drifted in front of the sun, cutting off the light from their faces. Rosalie, whose eyes had been closed and was enjoying the heat, sighed sadly and tried to move her head, but the ray was totally gone.

Bella, who had noticed Rosalie's chagrin, looked up and asked, "does it really warm you up?"

"No," Rosalie sighed. "Not really. I mean, there's definitely a difference between a cloudy day and a sunny day. But it's not enough to actually make a difference in our body temperature. Mostly it's just because we remember what it was like to feel the sun on our face."

"So you're never really warm..."

"We're not cold either, Bells," Emmett added. "Well, we are cold...but we don't feel cold." He struggled to find the words to explain what no human being had ever felt. "We're not..."

"We're not anything," Rosalie finished.

Emmett sighed. Oh, Rose. Looking at Bella, he could see that she too took issue with Rosalie's matter of fact statement. Emmett often felt severely out of place in his family unit, seeing as he was the only one who didn't think it was a big deal that they were vampires. I mean really, what is the big fucking deal? As far as he could see, they had a pretty sweet thing going on. Immortality. Eternal youth. Kick-ass strength and speed and powers. I mean, come on!

Watching Rose struggle over the decades was supremely difficult. Though she'd never really made peace with her immorality, the years had gotten so repetitive...and there wasn't really a point to complaining...

But with Bella in their lives, the precarious house of cards that was Rosalie's feelings on the matter of their existence was suddenly thrown into disarray. To him, it was easy. But to her...

"Can I try something?" Bella whispered questioningly, and Rosalie nodded after a quick "just don't blow anything up," which made him smile.

A few moments later however, the smile was gone and replaced with a quizzical, then panicked expression as he watched Rosalie's face transform.

It was a tiny gasp at first. Rosalie, whose eyes were closed with happy satisfaction at her proximity to her two lovers, gasped suddenly and drew her chest inward in two quick motions. Emmett looked down in time to see her open her eyes, and what he saw...

Shock. Confusion. Fear. Elation. The four emotions lit up her face in quick succession and looped around over and over again as her breathing got louder and louder...as if she actually needed to expel air from her dysfunctional lungs.

He was about to call out for her when he felt it too.

Through his hand that was linked to Rosalie's, he felt it travel up his arm, his torso, and in a split second fill his whole body.

Warmth.

Warmth like he hadn't felt in decades. Warmth that filled him like a cup of hot cocoa used to fill him long, long ago in his memories. It wrapped itself around every muscle. Inside and out. And (and this was the really freaky part) it flowed through his dead heart and organs. At least he thought that was what it was...that strange sensation that felt almost invasive because of how long it has been since the insides of him felt anything.

Beneath his hand, Rosalie felt as hot to the touch as Bella did to him. The branches behind his back felt markedly cooler too...a strange sensation to one not accustomed to differences in temperature. The heat continued to pulse through him, stronger and stronger, pulsing like...my god, like a heartbeat. It _wasn't_ a heartbeat-his heart was long dead-but he could've sworn it felt just like it. Could he even remember what a beating heart sounded like? Yes, he knew Bella's heart like he knew the colors in Rosalie's hair...and his body-somehow-was pulsing to its very familiar beat. His, and Rosalie's...Rosalie!

Rosalie suddenly wrenched herself from his grasp, and with her went his connection to the heat. With the link broken, Emmett had never felt so cold or empty in his life. The contrast was jarring especially because his perfect memory could recall every detail. He...truth be told, he wanted to cry.

But whatever he felt, its intensity and effect on him was nothing compared to Rosalie. A tenth of a second-that's all the time he had to see what Bella's gift had done to Rosalie, but it was enough. Before Bella could blink, Rosalie scampered down the tree trunk like the devil himself was after her. And she was gone.

"What...what was..." Bella stared down to the forest floor and back up at him.

"What the hell was that?" He asked her instead of answering her question.

She stared back like the answer was obvious. "My gift. It-it didn't hurt you, right? I mean I knew it wasn't going to hurt you...are you hurt? Is Rosalie?!"

"No, no. Stop, Bells. Don't go after her right now," he sighed, halting her descent. "We're not hurt. That was just...really unexpected."

"Bad unexpected?"

"Unexpected unexpected," he maintained. "It was amazing, Bella. I promise. A little too amazing, that's all."

He swallowed, and he too looked down to where Rosalie disappeared. "It felt human," he said quietly. "I don't remember ever feeling that warm as a vampire. I could feel all my organs, my heart. And it was a little hard to breathe."

"I'm so sorry!" Bella whispered, horrified.

"Please don't! I know it sounds bad, but to a vampire who hasn't felt those things since the transformation...you may not think so, Bells, but that was pretty fucking awesome. Thank you."

She still didn't look convinced, and who could blame her? Did she even see the look on Rosalie's face before she bolted?

"Be patient with Rose," he said gently, holding her hand. "I'm positive she liked what you did, but you know the whole human thing kinda gets to her. She'll come around in time."

Bella seemed to mull over his words quietly. She stared at the empty space between them that Rosalie had occupied for a while before speaking again.

"I wish she could see herself the way I see her..."

Emmett smiled. "And I wish you could see yourself the way we see you," he replied. "She gets it. Just like I know you get it. But getting it and 'getting it' are two different things. You've had 8 years. Rosie's been facing this for 80."

"I know. I just want..."

"I know, Bells. I know."

Rosalie would probably be gone for days, but Emmett didn't have the heart to tell Bella just yet. Their mate was a force of nature...captivating but also unpredictable and not to be contained. Disappearing so she could rebuild her hard shell was something he had long gotten used to. It was part of the package.

"Hey, Bella?" Emmett gulped and held out his hand. "Can you do it again?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really hope this block is lifted. Sooo frustrating! Tell me what you thought of this new aspect of Bella's gift! And what you think Rosalie will do/say/feel! And Edward!


	71. Rebels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

"Get back inside, Leah! That's an order!"

Sam's commanding voice bellowed through Emily's house and across the front porch where Leah was stomping away.

"Screw you, Sam!" She yelled without bothering to turn around. "Your 'voice' won't work on me while I got two legs, so for the last time (and I'll say it out loud since you can't hear my thoughts like this either), go fuck yourself! Or have Paul do it for you, you wanker!"

The commotion from inside the house told her Sam was dealing with another problem now, probably trying to prevent Paul from transforming out of rage and coming after her. Let him, she thought. Let them all come. She'd whoop them without even transforming. Well, probably not, but she was mad enough to try.

All this because their imbecile leader refused to listen to sound advice. They were chasing their tails...have been for weeks on end now trying to kill those damn leeches and they were getting nowhere. Seth barely got through the last month of the school year. If things continued like this, she might not graduate. And things would not improve even if they succeeded in their mission and eliminated the two rogue leeches. The thoughts of those who've phased earlier in the year along with Sam told her his maniacal schedule kept them up night and day...and that was before the threat of these nomads materialized. What were they supposed to do? Cease living and exist only for the good of the council and the tribe?

It didn't matter what she said or didn't say. She would never be taken seriously by those assholes, let alone the supreme anus himself Sam Uley. Hell was a scary ghost story for some people, but these days it was her misbegotten reality. Seeing Sam on a daily basis...hell. Hearing the truth of his feelings for Emily and how fucked their relationship was when he found himself in the throws of an imprint...hell. Having to share all her thoughts, all her secrets and fears and desires with a bunch of rowdy, insolent thugs...hell. Feeling completely helpless and unable to protect her brother while Sam ordered him to risk his life (for god's sake he was only 14 years old!)…hell. And worst of it all, the icing on the cake really…Sam literally having the power to make her jump through hoops if he wanted her too. His insufferable alpha voice. The voice that, when it reached her wolf ears, tugged on every fiber of her will power and forced her to obey the commands laced in its timbre. Pure. Fucking. Brimstone. Hell.

She hated everything about this completely unforeseen situation. There's no mention in any of the tribe's stories, written or spoken, of a female shapeshifter. Period. Everyone thought she was a freak. Everyone but her mother and brother. And maybe Jacob. Though, to be perfectly fair, he was too distracted by his own personal dramas to spare her much thought. Thank god for small miracles.

Speaking of the devil, there he was. Jacob didn't even bother showing up for the meeting today, she thought with a snicker. Take that Sam, you oversized baboon!

"Hey Jake!"

"What do you want?" He replied irritably. He was always irritable these days. And moody. Fucking baby.

She ignored his question and sat down next to him, purposefully invading his personal space.

"I want to leave this state and never come back," she said glumly.

"Take a number," Jacob grumbled as he slid a few inches further to a more comfortable distance. Pussy. "What'd you do this time?"

"Told him to hand over the duty roster so I could piss on it."

He laughed humorlessly. Still though…at least he laughed.

"I don't think they're after anyone on our land," he said a while later.

"Oh? What's your theory then?"

He shrugged. "Don't really have one. But they've slipped from us more than once within people's range. They could've attacked then. But they didn't."

She nodded with a faraway look in her eyes. It was true. That redheaded bitch slipped from her grasp just last week. They were so close to the trailer park on the edge of La Push. She could have zipped though…she could have killed. Instead she ran through the length of the complex and disappeared before Leah could catch her scent again. It made no sense. And it was infuriating.

"Would you really leave?"

"What, La Push? You know I can't…"

"I'd look after Seth," he said quietly. "He's like a brother to me already."

She shook her head. If only it could be that easy. "I can't leave him to Sam. I know you'd take care of him, but there's nothing you can do in a disagreement. He'll always win."

There was nothing he, or they, could do while in Sam's pack. Sam was God. End of story.

"How's your mom doing?" Jacob asked to change the subject.

"You know how she's doing. Who knew she'd be so good at politics?"

"I mean with your dad and all."

She shrugged. "She gets up everyday and hasn't touched drink. It could be worse."

He nodded slowly. "Do you think…she'd feel better if the person responsible was brought to justice?"

Leah said nothing for a while. She knew as soon as he started asking about her mom that the conversation would take a turn to this.

"From what I understand, the person responsible doesn't exist anymore."

He gritted his teeth and looked away. "Look," she said angrily. "I know she's a bitch for not telling you about your mom, and I think she should be shot for the company she keeps, but you know she didn't murder your mother. It was an accident, just like Emily."

"You don't get it," he huffed.

"Whatever," she shrugged. "But you've felt how Sam feels about the accident. You want to kill her, fine. But something tells me your mom wouldn't approve. And your dad definitely won't."

"You don't know anything…"

"Whatever," she said again. But she did know something. She knew that Jacob should lead their pack. It was his job by right of blood. If he had phased first he would be Alpha without question. Maybe there was room in La Push for two packs. Maybe she could finally be free of Sam and Emily.

* * *

"Sweetheart, I'm not sure why you made this change. Why did you move the bathroom?"

Bella looked up from the floor plan she and Esme were revising for one of her clients in Seattle. "Because no matter how much air it gets, the toilet is always kinda stinky. Trust me, you don't want it right by the kitchen. Especially when these doors in the hallway are open at the same time."

Esme crinkled her nose. "Hmm. This sort of thing would really bother you if you were preparing food?"

Bella nodded, smiling a little at this simple gap in Esme's knowledge. "And eating it."

Esme nodded, which all but approved the change.

"Honey," Carlisle called to his wife from the door of the studio. "Edward called an hour ago while you two were out. He says he's enjoying his holiday on Isle Esme and plans to spend a few more weeks there."

"Weeks?" Esme's face fell, and Bella made sure to conceal hers from view. "Well...what if we visited him?" She looked to Bella excitedly. "Bella would love it!"

Before she got the chance to turn down the offer, Carlisle saved her and stepped in. "No, dear. I think Edward wants time for himself. Let's give it to him. I'm sure we can make a trip, with Bella of course, some other time."

Esme sighed and went back to the plans in front of them, but Bella could tell her heart wasn't really in it.

What the hell was she doing, sending Edward away like that? Bella had enjoyed manipulating him, sure. And should he actually bring her useful information, her decision to guilt him (or was it blackmail?) into becoming a double agent against Victoria and Laurent might be a smart one after all. But the odds of that happening were slim, and she had known that from the beginning. So what was she hoping to accomplish? Was it just a desire not to have to see his face around her for a while? Or did she...did she hope Edward would never return? That the nomads would figure out his ploy and kill him for her?

"What is it dear?" Esme asked, concerned probably from the forlorn expression on her face.

She had to put an end to this. She would call him later tonight and tell him to come home. If Esme and Carlisle found out what she had done...

"Nothing," Bella lied. "I miss Rosalie."

Esme smiled sadly and put a hand over hers. "We all have things from our human lives that have come along with us. Some good. Some bad. They're hard, sometimes impossible for us to change."

"Things like...personalities?" Bella asked out of curiosity.

"Yes. And habits. Desires, beliefs, prejudices. Some things change with the times. Some change because of what we are-a human phobia of blood would of course not be applicable for a vampire. Others...others never do."

"Rosalie's a runner, like me."

"No, Bella. In Rosalie's world, bad things don't happen to her. Because she doesn't let them happen. She doesn't let them affect her and so they can never hurt her."

She nodded slowly. That explains her stony attitude to everyone outside Bella and her family. That explains the cold shoulder she gave Bella when they first met.

"But something did happen..."

Esme nodded. "You showed her a way to feel human. When she's been desperately wishing for humanity ever since it was taken from her. It affected her. It hurt her. And when that happens she retreats inside herself so she can fix what was broken. It's the only thing she knows how to do."

Bella put down her pencil and toyed with her necklace, the one Rosalie gave her more than a year ago on the day she took her to the music hall, the day Bella realized she had fallen quite hard for the blonde.

"Does she always take so much time?" She asked, scared of the answer. It was already five days later.

"Sometimes. One time she was gone for two weeks."

"Two weeks?!" Bella exclaimed. "What happened?"

"You left us," Esme said simply. "She'd normally go off on her own, but I think she was afraid you might return and she'd miss it. So she stayed. For us, it was like living with a ghost."

Bella couldn't think of anything to say to that, so she said nothing. She felt terrible enough in spite of the family ardently telling her she ought not to. After she returned with Emmett five days ago and he explained what happened, each of them had privately asked her to do for them what she did for Emmett and Rosalie. She acquiesced and, thankfully, the rest of them had reacted more like Emmett than like Rosalie, though Alice had been curious and more than a little confused having no memory of humanity.

"She'll be back, sweetie," Esme said kindly. "She'll be back before you know it."

Maybe, Bella thought on her way back to her cabin. But what the hell was Rosalie going to do when something much bigger happened?

As she stepped through her front door she thought of working on the cabinetry for a while, then she thought of flying north, but a loud yawn interrupted her thoughts. She might as well as sleep while she can.

Except fate had other plans.

Ring, ring.

"Holy shit..." she murmured when she looked at the caller ID. She answered immediately.

"Edward?!"

"They're going to attack, tonight." There was a lot of whooshing noise in the background. He was running fast. "They're going to be in La Push in a few minutes. Something's different tonight. I don't know what but it can't be good."

"Edward-"

"Gotta go."

And he was gone just like that.

They can handle it, can't they? The wolves have faced Victoria and Laurent a number of times since the incident in the school. Faced them...but never defeated them. And if the nomads were planning something different tonight...Edward was right, that can't be good.

Bella made up her mind in an instant.

And in the same instant, Rosalie showed up at her window.

"Bella," she smiled warily. "Hi...listen I want to explain-"

"Um, nice to see you too, but I gotta go," Bella interrupted, torn between happiness at having her back and annoyance at her shitty timing.

Rosalie watched her hurry into black shirts and pants. "Uh, what's up?"

"Um, nothing?" Ugh, Rosalie could always catch her lies.

"Bella, what's going on?"

Hair into a tight bun. A black hat she fished out of her bag.

"Ok, look. I'm going to La Push."

"WHAT?!"

"The nomads are attacking," Bella said quickly, knowing how crazy she must sound. "I'm gonna go see if I can fry one of them up."

Rosalie stared at her while she put on her shoes. When Bella stood up again, she finally regained her composure and leapt in front of her, blocking the door.

"Are you out of your mind?" Rosalie screeched. "You'll get yourself killed. If not the vampires then Jacob himself might! And I doubt the wolves would welcome any help from you! You're not going anywhere!"

Bella narrowed her eyes and took a step forward until she was nose to nose with the blonde. "Don't tell me what to do," she whispered. "Especially after you disappear for five days."

Rosalie visibly flinched. She took a step back before replying, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left and I'm sorry to force this, but you can't go."

Bella closed her eyes in frustration. They were probably already on Quileute land by now. She didn't have time for this.

"You know you can't stop me. Rosalie, I'm going."

They stared one another down, brown eyes versus gold. One unaccustomed to considering anyone but herself, the other unaccustomed to being denied anything.

Golden eyes flickered. "Let me come with you then," Rosalie sighed.

"You can't step onto tribe lands," Bella shook her head.

"Then you better not lose your focus and drop me from the sky," Rosalie snarled. "You'll take me with you or so help me god I will cross the treaty line following you, and you'll have to explain to Carlisle why I broke the treaty and started a war with the wolves."

Bella knew better than to argue with that. Rosalie meant every word, she could tell.

She held out her hand. Rosalie took it gently but firmly. And a moment later, they were off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note II: According to Twilight Wikia it is unknown "whether an Alpha shape-shifter can use his Alpha voice to command his pack members in both human and wolf forms." I'm using my artistic license to clear this up in Gifted and say that the Alpha voice only works on the wolf form, not the human. Also, I find it difficult to believe that after Sam led the pack for 2-3 years, he'd be perfectly ok offering his job to the newly phased Jacob. Power is power, and few people are immune to its effects. So in Gifted, Jacob was never offered the Alpha role.
> 
> Author's note: Totally (but not completely!) off topic...I saw Disney's Frozen for the first time a couple of weeks ago (I know, I know...wickedly late to the party but what can I say? I've been busy falling madly in love the last few months and that means my brain chemistry is all fracked up and being on top of fabulous Disney movies is lower on my priorities than it normally would) and my niece and nephew in Florida made me watch it like 8 more times while I was there...and now I can't stop thinking about Queen Elsa. She's fracking fabulous. The whole movie is deliciously metaphorically queer. Why am I talking about this here and now? Well duh, because Queen Elsa is the polar (get it?) opposite of Gifted's Bella! Her powers that is...Personality-wise I see some similarities. They're both outsiders. Both have had to hide their powers for fear of hurting others and of rejection. When Elsa exiles herself to the North Mountain, I kept drawing comparisons to Bella's 7 year exile. Both are lonely, aloof, and shoulder some serious angst (responsibility for her kingdom and sister for Elsa, mucho guilt for what she's done and is capable of doing for Bella). My point is this: raise your hand if you want to see a Gifted Bella/Elsa fan fiction!


	72. Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

'To your right, Sam!'

Jacob's mind screamed its warning and a split second later Sam was diving out of the redhead's way as she slammed into the earth where he had been. When the dust cleared she was gone...after gouging out a car-sized crater in the earth.

'Aaaaagh!'

It could've been Sam. Or Leah. Or himself even. All of them were howling with rage and frustration. They had the numbers on their side but for all the good it did especially with this female leech. Time and again, when it looked like they finally had her pinned she'd find a way out of their grasp.

'Jake, they might round my corner!' Seth's voice reached him. 'I can try to surprise them.'

Jacob sped up in his direction. 'No! Don't do anything without backup. I'm coming.'

Suddenly his powerful nose sensed a shift in the air. The leeches…they were doubling back…leaping in the air... towards him!

Shit. 'Sam!' He yelled telepathically and braced himself.

'Ooomph!' Jacob fell in the dirt, rolling and tumbling around while he pawed everywhere around him hoping to make contact with _something_. He felt his long claws latch onto fabric and… _there!_ That was someone's leg. Or maybe an arm. Come on, come on, just like in the stories. He needed to dig in and twist. Rip this limb off of its owner. Burn the pieces. Come on!

But just as he tightened his hold, something slammed into his head from behind, blinding him for an instant and weakening his muscles. It was enough. Whatever he had grabbed was no longer his. His claws held nothing more than cool night air. Seconds later the bloodsucker and its scent were gone.

'God damn it!' Sam yelled when he finally reached his side. There was a long gash from his neck to halfway to his ribs. Just as he identified it however, it started to fade. Jacob had yet to see a truly damaging wound on his packmates. They could heal at the speed of light, but still...they were _not_ completely invincible. Their stories told of gruesome deaths at the hands of leeches like these...deaths from wounds too great even for their accelerated healing to overcome. He had to remember that. The _all_ needed to remember that lest they get too cocky.

'You scared, Jakey?' Paul sneered from who knows where. 'Scared the bloodsuckers will give you a big booboo?'

As if to add color to his comment, Paul slashed out and tore down a tree so that it fell inches away from him. Jacob growled. That son of a-

'Cool it!' Sam's voice stopped his menacing steps toward Paul. 'Paul, go stand guard at the clinic. Seth: the woods by the highway. Leah-'

'Whoa, wait a minute,' Jacob interrupted. 'You're splitting us up? I don't know if that's such a good idea.'

'We don't know where they'll strike next,' Sam replied, annoyance dripping from his inner voice. 'I don't want any part of the reservation unguarded.'

'They're not after anyone on the reservation!' Jacob snapped, surprising himself. 'They've had like a million chances at that already!'

'I'm with Jake,' Leah chimed in. 'We can barely fight them with all of us here let alone one on one. Let's stay together.'

Before Sam 'spoke' a single word, Jacob already knew what he would say. Sam's emotions translated themselves into a language just as effective as words, and they reached him (as well as every member of their fledgling pack) with the force of a sledgehammer.

'We will watch over the tribe,' Sam said slowly. 'That is our responsibility and that is our obligation.'

Sam chose his words with diplomacy but none of them were fooled. When this was over he and Leah would be in quite a bit of trouble for second guessing the boss in the middle of a pursuit. The two of them had already been subject to a _talk_ with him earlier. Sam apparently didn't like Jacob and Leah's last conversation regarding his leadership. Phasing into their wolf forms ended the illusion of privacy. Every word, every emotion, every intent was laid bare and shared with every other pack member.

Sam sounded reasonable but they all knew how he really felt. Inside he was bubbling with rage.

Despite the physical revulsion he felt when defying Sam's word, he still tried to change his mind. 'Sam, some of us are barely broken in. You might hold your own against one or two bloodsuckers, but Seth-'

'Seth is a protector of the tribe, same as me, same as you. He can hold his own.'

No, no, no he can't! Jacob wanted scream but he held his tongue. He tried and tried to rein in his violent thoughts but it did no good. The others heard and felt everything. He was scared for Seth, scared even for Leah. He was angry with his lot in life, cursed to follow this man for the rest of his. And he was confused. He was so, so lost because deep down whenever he envisioned a way to undo this wolf curse...whenever he dreamed of an escape from life as a tribe protector, he invariably pictured the likeness of the last person he ever wanted to see, Bella Swan. Somehow in his imagination, unfettered by his sadness for his mother or his indignation over her choice of friends, she always got him to fly away from his troubles. And _that_ mortified him far more than the darkest pair of burgundy eyes.

* * *

"Rose, you don't have to hold on so tightly," groaned Bella.

Rosalie gritted her teeth but relented and loosened her grip.

"Can you see anything?"

Silence. Rosalie's eyes glinted with frustration, anger, and obstinacy.

Bella sighed. "Please?" She begged.

"I don't care what you can do-you're still human!" Rosalie hissed. "You can't see like them. You can't fight like them. You can't react like them!"

Good god, this again. Bella thought their endless arguments on the flight from Forks were over now that they were in La Push airspace but it looks like Rosalie has a skull thicker than the average vampire's.

She tried to reassure her girlfriend. "I won't let any of them come near me. I swear. Rose, please. If you won't be my eyes I'll have to go down there and I'd much rather do this from up here."

The look on Rosalie's face...If Bella wasn't 100% sure of her feelings towards her she'd be cowed with fear. The blonde was pissed off, and though Bella knew much of this was directed at her for what appeared to be her brazen recklessness, she held her ground. She was going to do this with or without Rosalie's help.

Rosalie glared down at the darkness below, and Bella waited with bated breath for her to tell her what she saw. It was taking a lot of her concentration to keep their scents from leaving their bodies, on top of keeping the two of them afloat. Bella was telling the truth when she said she'd rather not go down there, but not because of personal safety. She was worried she'd have trouble splitting her focus any more than she currently had to.

"That way," Rosalie finally whispered pointing (and glaring) north. "Half a mile."

Bella breathed a sigh of relief and sped in the right direction. The cold, hard object in her pocket flew into her free hand and she clasped it tightly. She never went anywhere without James' lighter. Feeling the hard edges on her skin, she allowed herself a moment of excitement. Tonight's the night. Tonight she'd experience the thrill of disintegrating flesh and bones, of burnt hair and sinews. Her heart was pounding not out of fear, but out of anticipation.

Her vampire nudged her a bit. "Get ready."

She nodded. If only she could see as well as her. Even with the acute improvement of her senses granted by the wind, she was useless against a vampire that moved faster than said wind.

They had one chance at surprise. It would be their best shot especially with the danger sensing Victoria. Once chance and then…

"There's a wolf down there. She's heading right for him. 42 degrees. On my mark...NOW!"

She fired. The tiny flame from the lighter came loose and with Bella's help, grew in size and intensity. Then a split second later, she hurled it straight into Victoria.

...And missed.

"Fuck!"

Despite her lackluster night vision, Bella was still able to make out a pair of deep red eyes searching the sky. She saw them lock onto hers.

"Up! Up!" Rosalie screamed.

The two of them shot up 100 feet higher just before Victoria leapt up with all her might. It was no contest this high up, and the hissing nomad landed on the forest floor without a prize.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaggghhhhhhh!"

Bella yelped herself and covered her ears with her hands but it still felt like blood were seeping out of them. Victoria's shrill scream sounded like a high pitched earthquake magnified a thousand times. Her eyes watered even as her vision started to fade.

Rosalie made a motion from beside her, and it took a few seconds for the meaning to register. Of course. As soon as Bella understood what her girlfriend was frantically trying to tell her, the offending sound stopped and she could breathe again.

"Are you ok?" Rosalie asked worriedly.

"Yeah," she gulped in large lungfuls of air...air that was blessedly empty of Victoria's monstrous screams because Bella kept them contained to the distraught vampire herself.

"We should go," Rosalie said tensely. "She won't stay anyway now that she can sense the danger. She-"

Rosalie broke off, staring hard at the surface far below.

"What?" Bella asked. She looked down too but she could barely make out the striped yellow lines of a road and maybe some treetops. "What do you see?!"

To be inside Rosalie's head right now...the blonde's bright eyes, usually steady in whatever strong emotion she happened to be feeling, flickered painfully between who knows what until she finally gritted her teeth and forced herself to answer.

"She's not leaving," she whispered. "She's... _they're_ ambushing that wolf."

Without another moment to waste, the two of them dropped closer to the earth. Rosalie, craning her neck and extending her senses every which way to ensure no one-vampire, wolf, or human-would intercept them, guided them to mere yards of the scene. And what a scene it was…

The wolf was smaller than she had anticipated. All of her friends' stories about them had Bella thinking she'd be encountering a creature the size of a minivan. This one however, would be more aptly comparable to a mini cooper. His sandy colored fur stood at attention near his neck, indicating fear at the onslaught he was getting. And he most certainly was experiencing quite the onslaught.

Where are the rest of them? Bella wanted to ask, but there was precious little time to do anything.

She had barely gotten a ball of flame from the lighter into her hands...barely felt its warmth connecting to the heat in her own core...when the unthinkable happened.

Victoria and Laurent suddenly managed to grip the small wolf-one on each end-and for a moment the wolf disappeared completely inside their embrace. They they both twisted hard on the form between them...in opposite directions.

The cracking of bones was in some ways louder and more horrifying than Victoria's screams had been. Bella, and even Rosalie gasped from their position in midair. They almost missed the wolf's instant transformation back to his human body-it was a boy, impossibly young. But it was the expression on his face that forced Bella to act...it was an expression of a most terrible, most devastating pain.

But as heart wrenching as the sight of this boy was, what happened next was even worse.

Victoria and Laurent never stopped breaking the boy's body, now human instead of wolf. They moved in synchronous time around him inflicting more damage...faster than Bella could make out. The only clue she had on what they were doing came from the sounds of the boy's body breaking over and over again.

Finally the frenzy stopped long enough for Bella to see more than two blurs. In that moment she lit her lighter and prepared to fire...when suddenly Victoria bent down and swooped closer towards the boy's neck, her intentions as clear as the night was dark.

Bella didn't think for a second as she reacted.

A thick wall of air flew from her chest and hit the two vampires, knocking them back and away from the injured boy. In one movement she sent Rosalie flying back up in the air, while she herself touched down on the ground.

Far above she heard Rosalie screaming for her. She ignored her and instead stood over the fallen boy. His breathing came in shallow bursts but at least he _was_ breathing. Bella didn't know much about human anatomy, much less a shapeshifter's anatomy. But she _did_ know that they were supposed to heal pretty quickly. Judging from the body at her feet, this was not happening.

Rosalie screamed again, louder this time. "Behind you!"

She whipped around in the nick of time, catching a blur moving right for her. Again she released a blast of air from within her. Again the vampires were thrown back. But this time they got up as quickly as they fell and ran straight for her again.

 _Hold still_ , she thought in frustration. But it was no use. The nomads knew better than to pause even for a split second. Bella could repel them but sooner or later, she would slip up and they'd come crashing through.

So she settled on keeping herself and the boy at her feet safe. She closed her eyes and focused. A wall of fire erupted from the tiny flame of her lighter and shot up, closing around her and the boy. She couldn't see through it, but she hoped in desperation that the two monsters were still there, that maybe Victoria wouldn't see this coming. She sent Rosalie even higher in the sky before her power erupted outwards in every direction, burning everything, and hopefully two malicious vampires, in its path.

It's funny how her connection to fire had changed since James' death. In the past when she lost control, she was barely conscious through the actual destruction. Inside, she felt amazing, but it was like her consciousness locked itself inside an impenetrable room so that the extent of her actions always took her by surprise when she awoke. When she overcame that problem with Carlisle's help, she could control it as easily as walking or talking. But the feelings of overwhelming jubilance, along with the excruciating pain she always felt when repressing the waves that constantly battered her from the inside...dying to come out, became less and less potent.

Since killing James however, everything had changed. Now, when she allowed herself to let loose in the privacy of the north, she felt everything. Her fire was an extension of her mind, her very senses. Whatever it consumed, Bella herself felt the connection like an intimate touch. Every tree, bush, blade of grass...every tiny critter...she felt connected to them in a way that baffled and disturbed her. The feeling was especially powerful when it touched, and subsequently extinguished, living things. It was glorious.

As the power rushed out from her body, Bella again felt her earlier anticipation rise inside her. Consuming two vampires would be akin to a hit of the most powerful drug known to man. She wanted it badly.

Five seconds. Ten seconds. Nothing.

Then...something. A quarter of a mile away, she felt the edge of her flames singe something she'd never felt before.

A wolf.

Bella opened her eyes, halting the expansion of her powers. Yes, a wolf. It was singed but already healing. She glanced at the boy next to her. _They're coming for you._

The opportunity was gone, she knew. The nomads had already fled, and with them Bella's chance to lose herself in their deaths.

Abruptly, Bella brought the flames back to her until they extinguished unceremoniously inside of her. She struggled not to show the effect of this-it didn't hurt per se, but it did feel like a momentous weight thrust onto her shoulders...enough to make her want to cry.

There wasn't time for any of that however. As soon as the area was clear of fire, two more shapeshifters appeared in front of her, growling and snarling at her and the boy at her feet.

"He's hurt," she whispered to them. "The nomads ambushed him."

The russet colored wolf continued to snarl at her, making threatening advances then backing off a little. The grey one however went right for the boy, licking him and nudging him, presumably trying to rouse him.

"Don't move him!" Bella stepped closer, facing the grey wolf. "I think most of his bones are shattered."

She moved to touch him but the wolf snapped at her hand and she pulled back immediately.

"I'm not going to hurt him," she insisted frustratingly, and turned around to see if the other wolf was more amenable.

But the other wolf was gone. Jacob stood in its place.

Bella nearly choked on the large gulp of air that entered her lungs. She hadn't seen Jacob since prom...since he found out the worst thing a person could find out about his best friend...that she was a killer responsible for his mother's death.

Jacob leaped forward, zipping up his shorts as he did so. He ignored Bella completely and instead went to the injured boy.

"How long has he been like this?"

The question was directed at her, it seemed. "Five minutes. Maybe a little more," Bella replied.

He touched the boy's chest and arms slightly, frowning worriedly when he felt bones in odd angles throughout his body. Bella's attention was torn between the suffering boy and Jacob. God, she missed him.

"Why isn't he healing?"

The question came from what used to be the grey wolf. In the minute of distraction Jacob caused in her, Leah (who else could it be?) had phased and clothed herself. By the panic in her eyes and voice, it was painfully clear that the boy was her brother, Seth. The Clearwaters.

"I don't know," Jacob murmured. Worry and panic started to show on his face, and Bella desperately wanted to take those haunted looks away and replace them with the jovial ease she was accustomed to.

"Carlisle can help him," she said tentatively.

Leah hissed. "A leech? He'd kill him first chance he got!"

"No, he wouldn't," Bella replied, determined. She looked at Jacob. "And you know it."

"No fucking way! Jacob, no!"

But Jacob was staring at Bella with a look she did not know how to define. Was he trying to determine her intentions? Her sincerness?

"It doesn't matter," he finally said looking at Leah. "Sam would never allow it."

Bella looked from him to the boy. The anguish on Leah's face was too difficult for her to take in. She took a chance and reached for Jacob's arm. He flinched, but he didn't move away.

"He could die," she whispered. "He needs a doctor. Who else if not Carlisle?"

Jacob closed his eyes and continued to shake his head.

"Hey!"

Oh, shit. Rosalie.

Bella gulped as she immediately brought her irate girlfriend closer to the earth. Leah, predictably, hissed and took a protective stance over Seth when she noticed the blonde vampire. But Jacob, curiously, barely reacted. He looked up at her in silence, waiting for her to speak.

"This is a violation of the treaty!" Leah yelled.

"No it's not!" Bella yelled back. "She has never set foot on your land. As you can see…"

"If you lot are done bickering over bullshit," Rosalie glared at Leah. "I suggest we move this party to the other side of the treaty line so we can help the boy."

Bella looked up at her, confused.

"I already called Carlisle," Rosalie explained. "He's waiting for us on the other side."

She and Bella looked between Jacob and Leah. The two of them, especially Jacob, looked to be struggling with quite an internal conflict. Bella sighed impatiently. Seth didn't have much time.

Leah glared daggers at both her and Rosalie, but then, surprisingly nodded to Jacob, who reached forward to carry Seth.

"No," Rosalie said firmly. "Bella, you carry him. Make sure he can't move anything."

Bella understood and gently lifted him up into the air, ignoring Leah's gasp. "Hang on to something," she said to the Indians wrily, then levitated them up too.

It didn't take long to reach Carlisle, who was waiting mere yards from the treaty line with the rest of the family.

Bella took note of Leah and Jacob's discomfort, exponentially pronounced now that they were surrounded by six vampires, and took steps to minimize it. When she cut off the vampires' scents from them they looked around startled, and Bella gently explained what she had done.

"Bella, keep hold of him," Carlisle instructed as he inspected the boy. From the corner of her eye she saw Jacob looking on, confused as Emmett embraced Rosalie. _Oh boy_ , she thought. She sure wasn't expecting to have to explain _that_.

"His bones are crushed," Carlisle explained to Jacob and Leah quietly. "He's started to heal, but the bones aren't setting correctly. I'm afraid they'll need to be rebroken so they can heal properly."

"Can't we do that on the reservation?" Jacob asked.

"Perhaps," Carlisle began. "But I'll need to monitor him. And I would want Bella to assist. He's going to be very agitated and he must keep as still as possible. Bella can help with that."

Jacob slowly shook his head. "The pack won't agree to it. Because it's Sue's son they _might_ let you on our land but…" He looked at Bella. "But not her. She's too dangerous."

It was a slap to the face for Bella who tried not to flinch at what Jacob was insinuating. But he was right, wasn't he?

"You little flee bag," Rosalie snarled. "She saved your mutt's life!"

Carlisle ignored everyone around him as he kept on inspecting Seth. "We can take him to our home." He looked up and continued. "I have suitable provisions for caring for a patient, and can get additional supplies by morning. You're welcome to accompany us of course."

He looked utterly lost. Suddenly, without warning, he phased to his wolf form. The family stepped back as one. Bella on the other hand froze in her spot. Was he going to attack? Attack her?

"He must be checking with Sam," Leah breathed, looking like hell had just frozen over. "Sam will never agree."

Carlisle looked between her and Seth. "I hope for your brother's sake that he does."

* * *

Jacob trembled with anger and frustration at Sam's orders. Bring Seth back to the council, he said. Leave the bloodsuckers at once, he said. He was to lure Carlisle across the treaty line without explicit permission from the council. That would justify an attack on the Cullens and their elimination once and for all. And the worst order, the most infuriating of all: kill Bella Swan.

He immediately phased back when the wisps of dissent gathered in his mind, not caring one bit that he was now stark naked in front of Bella, Leah, Rosalie, and the rest of the bloodsuckers (he'd regret that later if he survived the night). This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. But it was. And clearly, it can.

Was getting rid of these animal eaters worth Seth's life?

Did Seth have to die just to satisfy Sam's vendetta against the creatures that made him what he was?

Is Bella the monster everyone (everyone but these strange creatures) thinks she is?

His very being ached with the struggle of these questions, with the weight of them. But answer them he must, here and now, if not for himself than for Seth's sake. Something was happening deep inside of himself that he did not understand, but he knew instinctively that whatever it was, he had to let it play out before he took another step.

He had to. He had to…

* * *

Bella watched Jacob closely. Something curious was happening (other than his nudity), that was for sure. It shouldn't be this laborious to voice a response, but Bella could swear he was having a difficult time using his voice. What was going on? He looked like he was in pain...like the words formulating in his mind were creating a seismic shift in his being.

"All right," he finally blurted out. As soon as he said it however, his whole countenance changed. Whatever conflict happening inside his head appeared to have dissipated, and a wave of serenity settled over him. Bella glanced to Leah, and she too was watching Jacob carefully as the change occurred.

"Sam did not give permission," he said. "But we don't need it. I'll go to your home."

Leah exhaled, but she too looked a lot less tense than she did five minutes ago. "I'll go too," she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive any glaring grammar and spelling mistakes. It's 5am and I'd like to get at least 3 hours of sleep before I go to work so I'm gonna go over this and proofread it later. Quite a bit of action, eh? Let me know what you think in the reviews!


	73. Fractures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Alice and Jasper stood as still as possible just outside the door of Carlisle's makeshift hospital. The pair had taken it upon themselves to ensure Carlisle's request for no entry be honored. The task, however, proved more difficult than anticipated.

Jasper sighed and released another wave of calm at the two women pacing in front of them. Leah and Rosalie stumbled mid step only to be helped back by Jacob and Emmett, respectively.

Doesn't she have a leash? Alice grinned at her own joke until the icy glare from the girl in question made her realize she had spoken the words out loud. Oh, hell.

"Sorry," she mumbled, rolling her eyes and not really all that sorry. "What?" She shrugged to her husband, was was giving her a look as if to say 'was that really necessary?' "She still thinks Bella's gonna kill him!"

Leah made an incoherent sound from the corner, and Jasper felt a little bad so he eased up on his "medicine."

Her words came out in a slur but their impeccable ears understood them anyway. "I swear if something happens to him, I'll kill her myself."

Jasper groaned internally when he felt Rosalie's rage reach new heights. He had no chance of containing her when she got like this so he settled for trying to deflect the worst of it from himself. Alice understood his distress and squeezed his hand, mentally berating herself for contributing to yet another escalation from Rosalie. She hadn't seen any of this coming, and was starting to blame these dogs for clouding her vision.

The blonde strained against Emmett's firm arms. When she spoke her voice was low and hard, full of distress and anger. "You have no fucking idea what she's going through to save your fucking brother." She set her eyes on Jacob, who, apart from doing what he could to keep Leah from storming through the closed door, had spoken nary a word since entering the Cullen's house. "She's doing this for _you_. So you better be fucking grateful and treat her like a _human being_ when this is all over."

Jacob met her eyes. Brave kid, Alice thought. But stupid. Rosalie's never lost a glaring contest.

"Was I supposed to give her a hug when I found out she killed my mom? Sorry, but we humans value life a little more that."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes and took a step forward. Emmett kept a hand linked to hers but did not follow. In fact he looked just as inclined as Rosalie to rip off the boy's head.

"She tried to end her life after it happened," Rosalie whispered furiously. "She jumped off that same cliff with every intention of dying with your mother. Would that have made you feel better? Would that bring you justice?"

He didn't answer, but at least he had the sense to look away.

The tension in the air around them was thick enough to fog the glass. All was quiet on the other side of the door, but that didn't mean they weren't aware of what was happening there. Earlier, before Bella cut off all sound from the room, they heard bones and cartilage breaking and re-breaking. They heard Seth's pitiful cries of pain. And now, though it had been hours since they heard anything from the room thanks to Bella's gift, the vampires could smell the fear rolling off of Seth. And most worriedly, they could smell the increasing distress coming from Bella. It was maddening that they couldn't learn more.

Holding a huge tray in her arms, Esme descended like a fairy godmother with plates of human food that left a sour taste in Alice and Jasper's throats. The shifters hesitated for a few moments, then Jacob got up, thanked Esme, and took a sandwich. Leah reluctantly followed his lead, and the group had its first few minutes of relative peace as the pair devoured the food in front of them.

Here, piggy piggies, Alice thought with a grin. She shared a look with Jasper and knew they were thinking the same thing. Next time they negotiate a treaty, they'll be sure to bring snacks.

* * *

"...he'll be all right..."

"...what's wrong with her?"

"...Exhaustion I think..."

"...how long..."

"...she's ever strained herself so much before..."

"...lot of effort..."

"...too much at once..."

* * *

Something cool was radiating from the left side of her body, which was a nice, if not odd contrast to the heat from her right side. What on earth…?

Stirring, she groggily opened her eyes and met Rosalie's looking back at her. Her cold hand, which was gripping her own softly, tightened.

"You're here…" Bella said with a smile, surprising herself. Guess she had half expected Rosalie to disappear again. She wouldn't blame her this time, after the stupidity of last (was it only a day ago?) night.

Rosalie looked down at her lap and paused before turning to her again, eyes bright. "I'll always be here. From now on, I promise: no more running."

What Rosalie wasn't telling her was that she had ultimately decided she couldn't wait anymore. The question that had burned inside her for over a year; burning, she was sure, far more painfully than the worst of Bella's fire, had finally leaped past the last of Rosalie's hurdles. In the five days alone with her thoughts and unshed tears, Rosalie had reached her reckoning. She came to her last night ready to talk, ready to ask her to be hers forever.

As much as the words shot out from her heart, as much as they yearned to be uttered, Rosalie held back and waited. They needed privacy for this, and the house was teeming with vampires and wolves.

"Seth is going to be all right," she broke the silence after her last statement. "He's on a steady supply of morphine so he won't move. He keeps burning through it, but Carlisle just gives him more. He thinks he'll be fine in a week or two."

Bella nodded, remembering her ordeal from the night before. Turns out, there's only so many things her brain could focus on at one time. 206 bones in the human body. Muscles. Tissues. Keeping the vampires' scents from reaching the wolves, and vice versa. Keeping Seth's screams confined to the room... Whatever that magic number was, if the splitting headache and near catatonic state she experienced during and after Carlisle relieved her last night were any indication, she had clearly surpassed it.

"What's so funny?" Rosalie asked suddenly with a questioning, queer look.

"Huh?"

Rosalie pointed to her own ear, and Bella, getting the hint, asked the wind for help. It complied and, thank goodness, without any pain this time.

Emmett and Jasper were laughing quietly downstairs.

"We were just thinking of the lost business opportunity," Jasper said, still laughing. "Bella could've started an airline company. 'Swan Airlines, the cheapest tickets, the fastest flights, and the most comfortable seats…in fact there are none!'"

Bella looked at Rosalie, perplexed. "What the hell are you talking about?" She asked the disembodied voice.

"Dude you could've gotten people to pay you to fly them!" Emmett exclaimed. "You could've made a whole business out of it. And you wouldn't have had to worry about airplanes or pilots or any of that! But now we know you can't. Bummer."

Silence.

Then, Alice said, "Why exactly are we married to you two?"

"Psht, wits and charm. Duh."

* * *

Though his lips twitched ever so slightly from the exchange happening in front of him, Jacob's heart felt too heavy to grant him more than a smile that did not reach his eyes. He was still clutching his phone in his hand, fresh from a phone call with his dad.

"You need to stay away from the reservation for a while," Billy said. "Sam is making a huge ruckus out of this. I don't know what he'll do if he sees you."

Jacob growled into the phone. "I had every right to do what I did. I'm the alpha by blood."

"I know that, son. But we have two packs now and the rest of the boys are loyal to Sam."

"He was gonna leave Seth to die!"

"And he's going to be ok now thanks to you."

"No dad. Thanks to Carlisle. And-and Bella."

"Well," Billy replied slowly. "That's good to hear. Listen son, watch yourself and your pack. They need the council's permission to do something drastic, and Sue and I will do what we can to make sure that never happens. But you can bet they'll try to incite you if they find you. Don't give them the chance."

How did things get so messed up? Jacob wondered. Like his life wasn't already complicated before. A day ago he hated his life, but at least he knew his place in it. Now he was responsible for an insurrection. This was the first time in the tribe's history that two packs existed at once. He was responsible for this, and for two other people who now looked to him for guidance he honestly did not feel he could provide. And he couldn't go home. The second pack from La Push had to rely on _vampires_. The situation made his spine tingle. It felt like treason.

The woman who played the mother, Esme, walked up to him slowly with yet another tray. It was supremely difficult to go against his instincts, which reacted violently from the horrible smell these bloodsuc-vampires, he mentally corrected himself-exuded. He hadn't noticed for much of last night until Bella went to sleep. Then, as the scent suddenly creeped up on him and Leah, the others explained that it was Bella who was until then keeping their scents from mixing. He wanted to lash out against the offending scent and its owner but...he couldn't really do that, could he?

Besides, Esme was the last leech- _vampire_ -he wanted to see hurt. The woman had been feeding him and Leah all night.

"Thank you," he forced a smile for Esme as he helped himself to a roast beef sandwich.

She smiled warmly back. "You're welcome dear."

* * *

Leah knew she should't feel threatened at this point, but try telling that to her jumbled nerves. She sat stiffly by her brother, her arms protectively around him while the doctor looked him over.

_It's going to be ok. They're helping him. They're not going to hurt him. They're NOT going to hurt him._

Carlisle frowned as he inspected the IV line.

"How often have you increased his dosage?" He asked her.

"Whenever he started to move, just like you told me," she said defensively. Leah had been climbing the walls until someone finally gave her something to do. Carlisle had instructed her to keep a watchful eye on Seth (like she wouldn't have done that anyway). He had shown her how to increase the flow of the morphine and she had, as instructed, done that whenever Seth gave the slightest twitch.

Carlisle looked down at her brother, who was barely visible through the vast swaths of bandages mummifying him.

"His tolerance is rising."

"So give him more. It's not like it'll hurt him."

"I can't exhaust the hospital's supply without someone noticing," he explained. "I can order more on my own, but it won't get here today."

"So now what?" She asked angrily. "You're just gonna let him die?!"

"Of course not," he replied gently. It really irked her how nice these people were. She'd feel a lot better if one of them threw her a punch so she'd have an excuse to fight back. She _needed_ a good fight.

He raised his voice. "Bella?"

After another few seconds he spoke again. "Bella, I'm sorry to have to ask you again, but are you feeling up to this?"

The door opened not long after, and Bella and the blonde walked in followed immediately by Jacob.

Carlisle looked at Bella apologetically. "I'm so sorry about this."

The blonde, Rosalie, flashed him a steely look of anger but stayed silent by Bella's side.

"It's ok," Bella said. "It's easier now that I don't have to divide my attention over different parts of his body. This is fine."

While she spoke, Rosalie went over to the windows in the room and opened them (rather dramatically, Leah thought). Have at it, bitch.

Carlisle left. The four of them, and Seth remained in silence.

...

...

...

Well...this is awkward. Bella's face was perfectly neutral. She stood above Seth, half watching him and half watching something else in her own head. A step behind her, Rosalie kept absolutely still, on alert. She watched her and Jacob, clearly ready to pounce if either of them didn't toe the line.

Leah, for once, thought it best to keep her mouth shut. But boy, was it hard. She wasn't bothered by Bella. Did she think they'd ever be best friends? No. No, Bella was just another stupid girl who fantasized about vampires and was unlucky enough to actually find them. Her past was too fucked up for Leah to think about, but she did at least save her brother. That makes her all right in her book.

Beside her, Jacob too was obviously distracted by both the company and his thoughts. But she couldn't blame him now could she? On the one hand, Leah hated that for the rest of her life she'd have to follow another. Sam, now Jacob, and who knows who else one day...but she'd never be able to call the shots in her own life. On the other hand, looking at Jacob now, she knew she'd rather follow him than try to lead them. Leah wasn't built for leading a pack. She wasn't built for the overwhelming responsibility that was so clearly weighing on Jacob's shoulders. And she was grateful.

The irritable blond finally visibly relaxed when Bella gently entwined her hand in hers.

Leah said nothing, but her outward appearance, her scent...she didn't know what, but _something_ must have changed for Rosalie to react.

"What's _your_ problem?" Rosalie snapped.

"Nothing…"

"I can smell it on you," Rosalie narrowed her eyes. "You're disgusted by something."

Jesus, they can smell that? She shook her head indignantly. She didn't have to answer to her. She glanced at Jacob for help, but he eyed her back with only mild curiosity and caution. Thanks a lot, O mighty leader.

"I'm not-"

"She's not going to hurt you or your brother!" Rosalie exclaimed, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend (who was oddly quiet through all this). "Jesus, what more do you-"

"I don't give a shit about your girlfriend!"

"Then, I ask again. What's your problem?"

Oh no. Don't say it. Don't say it. Word vomit. Don't.

"You are."

Oh fuck it. Blondie wants a fight? Leah's itching for one.

"What?"

"I have _a problem_ with two-timers. I have _a problem_ with people who have a perfectly good relationship but then suddenly decide that's not enough. I have _a problem_ with people who lead the people that love them on."

Everyone looked at her in surprise. Well, Jacob looked at her with surprise and dismay. He must have seen this coming.

Bella moved closer to Rosalie, rested her hand on her arm to calm her, and finally spoke up. "You've been misinformed, Leah. There's no two-timing or leading on here. Emmett and I are both aware and content with our relationships. I'm in this because I want to be."

Leah snorted. "You tell yourself whatever you want. Remember that when she breaks your heart. Or his."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: We are so, so, so close to the you-know-what. I have much of it outlined but this is your chance to give feedback on what you think will happen/what you want to happen. It wouldn't be the first time good feedback's had an influence on how things turn out in Gifted!


	74. Weightless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
> 
> Author's note: the "you-know-what" I referred to in the last chapters' AN was Rosalie and Bella's big conversation regarding her turning.

Bella raised her eyebrows as Alice led her to the Cullens' massive living room where, to her surprise, Jacob, Leah and the entire family was assembled. Well, the entire family minus Edward, whom everyone except Bella thought was taking time for himself on Isle Esme. Bella alone knew the truth, and as his absence was made obvious in light of everyone else's presence, she felt another twinge of guilt for essentially blackmailing him into spying on Victoria and Laurent. Where was he now?

"I made cookies," Esme said cheerfully, pointing at the plate next to a chair that Alice was now tugging her toward.

"Uh, thanks," she replied, confusion dripping from her voice. What was going on?

Alice practically dumped her into the chair before she herself sauntered over to Jasper and stood by him. Rosalie was sitting on her favorite loveseat by Esme, and on the other side of the room, Emmett and Carlisle stood together. Jacob and Leah were also standing near Carlisle (and it just so happens, right next to an open window).

"Thank you for joining us, Bella," Carlisle smiled before looking to everyone else. "We're here to talk about our current predicament. We have to make a decision about our guests. I spoke with Billy Black on the phone earlier, and I'm afraid what happened last night has created a conflict for the tribe."

"They can't say we broke the treaty!" Emmett said, rolling his eyes. "I mean jeez, we saved one of their own."

"No, the treaty line was not crossed. Bella saw to that. But Mr. Uley thinks the treaty might be void now that we've kidnapped members of his pack."

"What?!" Bella exclaimed. She felt her body hum with rage. The nerve of him!

"Billy and Sue Clearwater are doing what they can to ensure the treaty stays valid. But from their tone...they hinted that we ought to prepare ourselves for a confrontation."

Emmett grinned. "Bring them on! Those canines couldn't handle 2 vamps! They really think they can take us down?!"

Leah's face turned to venom at the insult, but one look from Jacob and she restrained herself.

"They wouldn't try to take you down," Jacob spoke up for the first time. "But if you throw a single punch, if you so much as touch them, then that _will_ break the treaty."

"And if that happens we'll have to leave," Carlisle finished.

Bella stared at Carlisle in disbelief. What the hell were the Cullens thinking when they came up with this agreement?

For a moment, Bella considered what that would mean. A world without the Cullens. The concept felt so alien she had to repeat the words in her mind. A world without the Cullens. Without Rosalie. Without Emmett. Without Esme and Alice, Jasper and Carlisle. That world, in that brief moment her mind ventured there, looked dark and bleak...devoid of life.

She blinked, her heart pounding from the momentary nightmare she just previewed.

"We won't let that happen," said Rosalie, who was watching her from her seat.

"No, we won't," said Jacob. "We need to keep the focus on the nomads. I think if we just keep reminding Sam that we have a common enemy, he'll back off. He lost 3 soldiers last night. Picking a fight with you, or with us, at the same time that they're fighting their attacks is suicide. I'll work on communicating with him, somehow."

"All right," Carlisle nodded. "In the meantime, I understand that it would be best for you not to make your way to the reservation."

Jacob looked down. He nodded.

"You can stay here," Esme immediately said. Ever the gracious host, Bella thought with a smile.

"Thank you," Jacob tilted his head in appreciation. "But I don't think that's the best, ah…"

He was too polite to say it, but Bella knew he was talking about the unsavory logistics of housing vampires and wolves in the same building. Without Bella constantly remembering to separate their scents, neither party could barely hide their disdain. Carlisle remained the only one outwardly unaffected, followed at a close second by Esme.

The answer was obvious.

"You can stay in the cabin," she said, looking at Jacob and Leah. "It's a couple of miles away but still on the property. The bedroom's fine and," she turned to Esme, "maybe you can find another bed or two?"

"What about you, Bells?" Jasper asked.

She shrugged. "Charlie's-"

"No!"

"Absolutely not!"

"Fuck no!"

She stopped, raising an eyebrow at Rosalie, Esme, and Emmett.

"You can stay here, Bells," Emmett added, smiling.

She gulped. Was she ready for this?

"No."

"I'm not ready for that," she added firmly when Rosalie and Emmett looked like they were going to protest. "No."

She waited for them to start a drawn-out argument, but they stayed silent.

Jacob looked at Bella and Esme. "Look, we don't want to intrude. And you've been very kind to us already. We can camp out, take turns guarding the property. We don't need much in our wolf forms."

"Nonsense," Esme shook her head. "We can work something out-something more amenable that _that_. In the meantime, Bella," she asked, looking at her imploringly. "Would you agree to spending just _one_ night here? I promise I'll come up with a solution by morning."

Bella sighed, but agreed to the compromise.

"Thank you." Esme then turned to her guests. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a family matter to discuss."

Jacob raised an eyebrow in surprise, but left along with Leah. The family waited in silence until the wolves ventured far away enough for privacy. Then they turned to Bella.

"Bella," Esme started. "We have something to discuss with you."

Bella's face was stoic and calm, but inside she felt herself begin to panic. No...they couldn't possibly want to bring this up now?!

"Honey, we're a family," Esme continued. "And over the years, we've faced countless problems. Some trivial. Others life and death. But every single one of them, we've faced as a family. As one unit."

Bella's heart pounded in her chest. Please, god, no. _Please._

"We consider you a part of our family. That's why what you did yesterday was wrong."

Bella blinked. What?

Noting her confusion, Esme pushed on. "The right thing to do was talk to us before you decided to go fight vampires on your own."

"We're all very lucky the treaty wasn't breached last night," Carlisle added. "But it was too close for comfort."

"Not to mention we could've helped," Alice piped in. "We can all fight too."

"Or...we could have discussed it and agreed on a wiser course of action," Jasper added.

Esme spoke again. "The point is, decisions that impact the whole family are made by the whole family. Can we expect you to follow this rule the next time you're faced with a crisis?"

She nodded quickly, hoping the relief on her face wasn't too obvious. Though the side of her that was used to complete autonomy felt slighted, a slap on the wrist she could withstand. Their reasoning was sound after all. She _had_ acted brashly. Things could've plummeted south if she had lost her concentration for just a second and Rosalie came tumbling down on the wrong side of the treaty line. Wolves other than Jacob and Leah could've shown up. So much...so much could've been lost last night.

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

Esme nodded, then smiled at her daughter. "All right then. Let's see about accommodations for our guests."

* * *

A few days later, Bella was just about done with a novel she had brought back from the library when she heard rustling in the leaves below.

"Bella?"

From her perch on her cabin's roof, she saw Jacob walk out from the thick woods and into the clearing in her line of sight.

She held her breath warily.

He paused. "Leah wants to go into town. She's getting antsy and she needs to buy a few things anyway. Um, any chance you'd consider going with her?"

She gave him a questioning look.

"I'm worried the other pack will take advantage. If they see her, they'll goad her I know it. And...she doesn't have the best hold on her temper."

Yeah, no shit. Still. "Why don't you go with her?"

He blushed. "Um, she wants to get things of...a feminine nature."

Bella rolled her eyes. Boys.

"All right."

"Thank you."

And just like that, he was gone again. This was a pattern all week. A hello here and there. How are you. How did you sleep? Pass the butter. They exchanged no more than a hundred words at any given time, and after every exchange Jacob found a reason to leave her presence. Bella didn't know what to make of it. Except...at least he was _talking_ to her.

Leah on the other hand...Bella sighed heavily as she trudged through the forest. This ought to be fun.

"Hello!"

She called out a few times. She _did not_ want to surprise the irritable she-wolf.

"What?" Leah, as always, was annoyed with her. She came out of the gigantic RV she, Seth and Jacob currently shared. Esme's temporary solution for their temporary guests: purchase a luxury RV worth more than what half the houses in Forks were worth. The garish thing made her eyes burn but hey, it had everything the trio needed from private (albeit small) bedrooms to a fully stocked kitchen.

"I'm going into town for a few things. Wanna come along?"

Leah narrowed her eyes. "Did Jake-"

"Yup. And I'm leaving in 10 minutes with or without you."

Bella quickly turned and ran, with a little help from the wind, to the house to let the family know. Rosalie, of course, wanted to come. She didn't trust Leah (which was fine as the feeling was more than mutual). Bella quickly tried to convince her that there was no way the two of them could handle close proximity without drawing blood...but Rosalie won in the end. Soon she and Bella were waiting in the old truck, counting down the minutes to the 10-minute mark.

3 - 2 - 1 -

The door opened and slammed shut again. Leah crossed her arms wordlessly in her seat, simultaneously giving Rosalie a death glare which Rosalie happily returned.

"Buckle up," Bella said after turning the ignition key. This was going to be a long, long morning.

* * *

Bella lazily rummaged through the clearance bin while she waited for Leah to finish in the dressing room.

"Can you _try_ to be more civil?" She asked in a hushed tone.

Rosalie put up her hands in mock indignation. "I haven't said a word!"

Bella gave her a look as if to say _who do you think you're fooling?_ "I dare you to dial it down to neutral for the rest of the morning."

The blonde rolled her eyes, but immediately blocked her face with a hand which, when she removed it again, revealed her standard cool, slightly annoyed, but thankfully less rageful expression.

"Ugh...look who's here."

Bella turned around. Ugh, indeed.

Jessica, Lauren, and Mike were outside walking across the street. Mike was pressed rather closely to Jessica, Bella noted. Guess those two finally hooked up. Jessica must be thrilled.

To her chagrin, her three least favorite people crossed the street and entered their shop.

Mike was the first to see her, and he immediately lit up, poking Jessica sloppily in her side.

"Rose, don't-"

But Rosalie already did. Her angry face was back with a vengeance, and she made sure all three of them saw it, and that it was directed at them.

The sight of those kids who made her school life miserable last year made her heart fall into the pit of her stomach. No matter how much she told herself none of them mattered...that three petulant bullies were and should be the least of her problems, Bella always felt like she was eight years old again in their presence. Despite everything she knew, everything she'd learned and seen in her unique life, despite vampires and shape-shifters and powers, those three kids could overwhelm her defenses with one look. Bella's rational side knew it was ludicrous, but that's exactly how she felt no matter how brave a face she put on.

But when she glanced back at Rosalie, some of the poison running through her veins instantly left her body and she could breathe again. Her girlfriend looked like a panther about to pounce, and she couldn't help but chuckle at the deer in headlights expressions on the others' faces. They still had not worked up the courage to be assholes in front of Rosalie and probably never would.

Bella's smile grew on her face as she watched Rosalie, and she felt her affection for her grow until it completely overshadowed the fears and discomfort that had overpowered her only seconds ago. And then she did something without thinking, something she had not planned on nor expected she'd do today.

In full view of everyone in the store, including Mike, Jessica and Lauren, she reached up, cupped her face in her hands, and gave Rosalie a deep and obviously intimate kiss on the lips.

Fully aware of the gaping looks around them, she steered a surprised Rosalie closer to the dressing rooms to wait for Leah.

"You realize what you just did?" Rosalie asked, stunned.

Bella shrugged, sighing. "I don't care anymore."

Despite the thundering in her heart-she had just, after all, seismically altered her world-she felt better. She felt liberated, which was weird because until this point she hadn't realized how caged and heavy the omission of her relationship had made her feel before. Days had come and gone during which Jacob and Leah knew everything about her complicated relationship and the world hasn't ended. The world was not going to go up in flames now that a few more people were in on it. Besides, this relationship didn't define her. There was more to Bella Swan than being "Rosalie's girl"...there was more to Bella Swan than even Rosalie knew…

Even without her gift, Bella felt she was floating off the ground. She had never felt so weightless in her life.

"It's going to get a lot harder for you when school starts," Rosalie murmured. Guilt was written all over her face even though it was Bella, not her, who tossed their cat out of the bag.

"It's only one year," Bella shrugged. "But hey, Alice has been offering to break into the school and fudge with next year's class schedules. Maybe I'll just give her the green light on that."

Rosalie raised an eyebrow.

"...and maybe we don't tell Esme and Carlisle that we're planning on breaking and entering?"

Leah stepped out of her dressing room with a dramatic swish of the curtain and glared at them, mostly at Rosalie, before she stomped her way to the cash register.

"Babe, let it go." But even as the words came out of her mouth, Bella felt a stirring of anger deep inside her. She was getting tired of being judged. And she was _especially_ getting tired of how little that girl thought of Rosalie.


	75. Torn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note: Some questions will be answered in this chapter.
> 
> Author's note: Listen to 'Andare' by Ludovico Einaudi.

Leah was aware that she was taking things too far, but as usual her damn mouth-hell, her whole body-had a mind of its own.

What the hell did she care what the vamps and their pet human did behind closed doors? They didn't hurt anyone (except themselves). All parties were consensual. Yadda yadda yadda. Leah got that and, her being a 21st century civilized human being, pretty much adhered to a 'live and let live' philosophy. The world was a big place after all and no one person's moral compass could guide everyone else.

Except, this was really, really getting to her.

"Sit down," Bella snapped suddenly at her, catching Leah off guard. She expected blondie to get in her face, not Bella.

She sat, dumping her weight onto the chair and plastering her famous 'fuck off' look.

Bella whispered something to Rosalie, pissing Leah off even more because as good as her hearing was she still couldn't make out what was said. The blonde left their table without another word.

The remaining humans sat, unmoving in their quiet corner of the restaurant. Until now, Bella had stayed out of her way and she did the same. The few times she had seen her, the girl was difficult to read. She masked her feelings well around her, surprisingly well in fact. After a few days, most people begin to show their real selves (whether good or bad). It's too difficult a chore to hide, to pretend. But Bella...Leah never really got the sense of who the girl was. She certainly displayed nothing of what she saw in Jacob's memories.

Right now however, she was very easy to read. Bella looked pissed.

A heavy slam on the table startled her out of her thoughts. Oh good, the vampire brought lunch.

"You don't have to eat it if you don't want it," Bella said nonchalantly. "But Esme's hunting today and isn't cooking anything. So unless you're good with a skillet, I suggest you get your fill."

Damn it. No, Leah was a terrible chef. And as blasphemous as it felt to even think it, she couldn't help mourning the loss of Esme's culinary fare. Jesus that woman could cook.

So, Leah stamped down her pride and picked up the burger in front of her, trying to ignore the slight vampy smell wafting from it. That bitch better not have spat in her food…

As she ate in silence, she noted the bitch in question looking at her-actually more like looking through her. Leah, who was still unaccustomed to the vampires' penchant for inhuman stillness, felt extremely put off by it. Bella on the other hand looked right at home next to her stony girlfriend.

"All right," Bella started out of the blue when her burger was mostly finished. "You have our undivided attention."

"Excuse me?" Leah asked.

"You don't like our relationship. I'd like to hear your reasons. And I'd like the chance to counter your arguments."

Leah swallowed her last bite painfully down her constricting throat, clearing it afterwards. "Look, it's none of my business. And I'm sorry that-"

"I don't like that you think so little of her," Bella interrupted softly. Beside her, blondie budged an inch. "She's not what you think she is."

She let out a drawn out sigh, uncomfortable with this harsh spotlight.

"Fine…" And because she was genuinely curious, asked, "how is it any different from cheating?"

Bella leaned back in her chair. "Cheating implies deception, doesn't it?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, there's been none of that. We don't see each other behind Emmett's back."

"But...he can't be ok with this."

Rosalie's chin went up. "He is," she said. Her eyes burned through Leah's, clearly unhappy with the inquisition but determined to see it through. "He wanted me to reach out to Bella long before I actually did. I was trying to convince myself what you believe to be true now: that I couldn't love both him and Bella. That attempting it would not work."

Leah looked away, her own raging emotions bubbling to the surface. "But why wasn't he enough? Why wasn't he good enough for you?!"

It was just the three of them at the table, but in the corner of her eye, Leah could've sworn Sam and Emily had materialized right next to her. Their undeniable love written on their faces as their bodies literally gravitated to one another. She wanted to throw her glass at them.

Rosalie paused, but Bella nodded gently to her, silently imploring her to carry on.

She sighed. "Your mistake is that you believe a person can't love more than one person. You think that because I fell in love with Bella after Emmett, that means I have to love Emmett less. That might be the case for some, but it wasn't the case for me. You think that if I feel affection for one of my partners, then I forget or totally erase the affection for the other. But it's not a switch that you turn on and off."

"I know you think romantic love is a finite thing. You think that if too many people share it, the pieces get too small to be meaningful, right?"

Leah looked back and forth between the two women in front of her and slowly nodded.

"Well, love is not an object," Rosalie said. "It's not like money, where if you give some to one person you have less left over to give to others."

"Don't parents love all their children no matter how many they have?" Bella added with a strange tone in her voice. Or was it her imagination?

It wasn't her imagination. Rosalie gave Bella a quick look before clasping her hand tightly in hers.

"If you had another sibling, wouldn't you love him or her just as much as you love Seth?"

"Yes, but…"

"You'd have different experiences with each of them. Different memories to look back on. And some of those memories, all of you could share. But your relationship with each one would be different, unique. And yet, you'd still love them both equally," Rosalie said.

Leah shook her head. At this point she honestly wasn't trying to antagonize the pair in front of her or be difficult. She just couldn't grasp at what they were saying. The words made sense. The words...they were beautiful in a way. But fire was beautiful too, in a way. That doesn't mean one should make a habit of playing with it.

"Someday…" She struggled to phrase her thoughts without making any more insults. It was obvious Bella was on the express train to becoming a leech-vampire, she corrected herself. Was she really willing to trade her mortal life away for an eternity as the other woman?

She turned to Bella, who had been looking at her intently this whole time, with every intention of voicing her concern out loud. She opened her mouth to speak, then promptly shut it again when Bella's expression abruptly, and alarmingly changed.

A split second ago, Bella displayed caution, slight annoyance towards her and affection for her girlfriend. But without any indication of a warning, Bella's face was transformed to one of panic, pain, and...pleading? Her eyes burned with pain Leah had never seen on anyone, much less her. And she was looking straight at her, as frozen in place as her girlfriend.

Frozen...except for the tiniest shaking of her head.

Leah was, to be frank, too dumbfounded to speak. She managed a hoarse "Whatever," and when she looked at her again, Bella was back to normal.

"Your life is your business," she said after clearing her throat. "But I'll try not to be such a bitch about it, ok?"

Rosalie did not display any outward reaction except for getting up and taking Bella's tray to the trash. Leah, on her way to do the same, could've sworn she heard her mutter "the bitch is in her blood..."

* * *

'Nervous' was not a word Rosalie used to describe herself very often. Haughty, vindictive, suspicious. Now those were apt descriptors. Over the years, Rosalie had met countless people in various towns, schools, and universities. She had even talked to a handful of those people. If a survey could be conducted across place and time, the consensus amongst even the people she didn't completely despise would be that Rosalie does not experience fear, misgivings, or hesitation. She views people as if they were flies on the windshields of her precious cars, and has no qualms flicking them out of and away from her predictable, simple life.

Boy, if all those people could see her now.

Her heart couldn't hammer wildly in her chest. Her palms couldn't sweat. Her stomach couldn't rumble with butterflies. Her legs couldn't shake uncontrollably from the sheer anticipation. None of it mattered. Rosalie felt like vomiting-never mind if that was a physical impossibility.

She stood on the ground by Bella's cabin, leaning against a wall, keeping her eyes closed as she breathed in and out with timed precision. Over and over, she mentally ran through the decades' evolution of her thoughts about mortality, about Bella and Emmett, and about herself. She ran through everything she'd been yearning to say to Bella and that she finally, finally found the courage to say.

It had taken too long. Getting to this point should not have been so painful. If it were Emmett, he would've talked to Bella months and months ago. But Emmett doesn't have Rosalie's baggage. He's always been perfectly content with his lot, human or vampire, a contentedness that Rosalie most definitely did not share. It had taken her far too long to broach this subject with her, but she was sure Bella would understand. She knew Rosalie well, after all. She knew how hard this was for her to talk about. Rosalie hated to apologize for anything but she promised herself she would for not bringing it up sooner.

Her heavenly scent wound its way through the trees and Rosalie clenched her fists as she shrank within herself a little, a reflex to prevent herself from leaping towards her prize with fangs exposed. That scent drove her absolutely crazy. It could calm her, enrage her, fill her with ignitable passion. She wondered how it would change when Bella transformed. Would it become more or less enticing?

"Hey!" Bella smiled when she came into view. Rosalie smiled softly and pulled her into her arms when she was in reach.

"Hey yourself," she replied. "How'd it go with Esme?"

Bella grinned brightly. "Great! She thinks the Wongs will go with our design. If they do, I'll actually get to see the whole building process!"

Rosalie laughed at how excited this little thing was making her. She was so accustomed to this interest of hers but sometimes she caught herself chuckling anyway at the former wild child's passion for Esme's work-as if she'd caught Pocahontas gracing the cover of Better Homes and Gardens and gushing inside about the merits of argyle patterns in the living room. Pretty darn surreal.

"That's wonderful!" She exclaimed with a kiss.

And hopefully, she mentally added, you'll be so busy with that you'll forget to work on the cabin. 

"Bells," she whispered after pulling away from her lips. "Can you take us to our tree. I want to talk to you about something…"

* * *

Rosalie sat down with Bella on the huge branch of their douglas fir. The ample network of lush branches closed in around them like a cape. Rosalie took a moment to watch the golden light from the brilliant sunset stream through the leaves and touch her Bella.

Quit stalling, she admonished herself.

Her eyes roamed Bella's hair. The sun's dance on it made it look like it was on fire. Her eyes too had a flame-like quality to them that could and had on many occasions hypnotized Rosalie.

Here we go.

"There are some things I need to tell you," Rosalie said after taking a deep breath. "Emmett and I...well...we've both had affairs with others in the past."

She could tell by Bella's instant confusion that she hadn't anticipated this from her. It wasn't the most direct approach to what Rosalie really wanted to talk about, but she believed she had to tell her everything of her past before she had any right to bring Bella into her future.

Rosalie moved her thumb over the palm of Bella's hand and started to speak, but Bella beat her to it.

"You don't owe me an explanation. I already know…"

It was Rosalie's turn to be surprised. "What?"

"Er...Edward may have let something slip once…"

The vampire let out a low growl. That son of a bitch.

"What exactly did he say?" She asked slowly, careful not to dump her anger onto Bella.

"Only that I wasn't your first affair."

"You are not an affair!"

Fuck you, Edward! Rosalie shut her eyes tightly, cursing her brother for this breach into her private life.

"I know," Bella said softly. "His words. Not mine."

"Ok." She nodded. "Ok. I'm going to tell you everything now."

When Bella started to protest again, she cut her off with a light finger on her lips. "It's your right," Rosalie insisted before continuing. "The Denali's...we call them family strictly because of our shared diet. But they've always been much more to me."

Bella nodded. "Tanya?" She asked, voicing a long-held suspicion.

"Yes," Rosalie replied. "Kate and Irina too, but mostly Tanya."

Bella gave her a wry grin. "I certainly don't blame you."

She shook her head. "No, no. It wasn't just sexual. I mean, it wasn't love either like what you and I, or Emmett and I have. It was-"

Rosalie sighed in frustration, not accustomed to explaining herself like this.

"In my early years..." she said referring to the first years of blood lust and eternity, "I was-well, Jesus I don't know if any of us told you this, but in our first years vampires are pretty crazy."

"The blood lust," Bella nodded, showing her understanding.

"Um," Rosalie blushed, "that and...sex."

"Huh?"

"Don't ask me why. It's just one of those things. Anyway, we moved to a pretty isolated place my first year and that made the blood lust much easier to avoid. But the other part...well, you know me…"

Bella nodded with her eyes wide open. Oh yeah, she knew Rosalie all right. Then, as if the thought just occurred to her, she asked with horror laced in her voice, "You didn't do anything with Edward did you?"

Rosalie snorted. "Ew. No way. I'll pretend you didn't ask that."

"Ok, ok," Bella laughed. "Noted."

She smiled and continued to run her hands over the girl's soft skin, whispering, "Can you see the problem?"

Bella only looked at her with confusion.

She sighed. "What was my last human memory of?"

Bella's eyes widened with understanding. "Oh."

Rosalie gave her a sad smile. "Suffice it to say, I was having a bigger than typical problem accepting my new life. The first years were hell. Even after I found Emmett. I couldn't…and if I did, I experienced such abject self loathing afterwards." She shook her head, clearing away the surfacing memories. "I'll spare you the details. Just trust me when I say it wasn't pretty."

"So Tanya helped you?" Bella asked, connecting the dots.

"Yeah, she did. The three of them have been around so long. They've seen it all. They helped me learn to let go of what happened to me. Tanya especially, she helped me learn to enjoy making love...to stop reliving that night. We're not in love-never have been-but I can't diminish what we have by calling it casual either. Emmett never cared as long as I was happy. And she did-she did make me happy. She certainly taught me that happiness was in reach."

She paused to let Bella absorb her words. It was a lot to take in, but Rosalie had an inkling Bella would take it in stride. She usually did.

Finally, Bella spoke up. "Edward gave you hell, didn't he?"

Rosalie gritted her teeth. "Always. He thinks we're all going to hell, but according to him, the deepest pit is reserved for me. And all because I refuse to wear the guilt he throws at me."

She nodded. "Are you still seeing her now?"

"No," Rosalie replied carefully. "Not for a couple of years. And I wouldn't without your blessing, same as Emmett."

"Um, is that what you want now? Cause I'm not sure-"

"No!" Rosalie exclaimed. "God, no. That's not why I'm telling you all this."

She closed her eyes, fully aware of every inch of her skin. She felt the rough bark of the tree, the gentle caress of the breeze, and the most electric sensation of all, Bella's body snugly wrapped in her arms. She fidgeted, turning both herself and Bella so they sat face to face.

"There's one more thing I haven't shared with you," Rosalie sighed sadly as she moved to the more painful topic. "Like I said, what I have with the Denalis isn't romantic love. But...I did experience something akin to that once before. Before you, and after I married Emmett."

Rosalie closed her eyes. She had learned to stamp down any thoughts relating to this to avoid Edward's harsh judgement. But Bella needed to know. She needed to know about the most shameful part of her.

"It was in the fifties," she started. "Her name was Anna. Her last name came right before mine, so we sat next to each other in every class that year. I don't normally bother talking to humans but she was different. She…"

"She was blind. She couldn't see me scowl or glare at her. Couldn't see me dismiss her the way I do everyone else. Had no idea what I really looked like. I think that's what drew me to her. She was the first person I encountered since my transformation who treated me like everyone else. You can imagine how refreshing that was."

Bella nodded, hanging on to her every word.

"It happened gradually. Begrudgingly on my part at first. We became friends. Little by little, my affection for her grew until…"

"You fell in love with her," Bella said softly.

She nodded. "Yes. And, surprisingly for the time, Anna returned my feelings. She was a breath of fresh air. I almost felt human when I was with her. A normal girl with a normal friendship, which turned into a normal crush. I could pretend with Anna, and for the brief time that we were close, I very nearly forgot what I was and what I could never have. When I look back, I can see how foolish I was acting. Despite two decades as a vampire, I had a very small reservoir of control to hold me back from hurting her. The first time we kissed and nothing bad happened I grew much too cocky. I threw caution to the wind."

Bella, who had a feeling where this was going, reached for her hand and squeezed tightly. When Bella revealed her secret to the family, she had asked them how many innocents they had accidentally killed. Rosalie had given her a number, and Bella now understood she was hearing the details of that sad history.

Rosalie grew quieter, the cadence of her voice softening as she reached deep into her memories to pull out her most regrettable act.

"I drove her home one day. School let out earlier than usual because of teachers' conference and her mother had to work. She let me into her home and I, wanting to be closer to her, kissed her. I got bolder. Things got heated quickly and…I lost it. Completely. When the frenzy grabs hold of us, Bella, nothing can separate us from the blood. Nothing. Not logic, not compassion, not years of self-discipline. Our lives are a struggle to keep the frenzy at bay. The older we get, the easier it is to ignore the hum of the blood, the smell of it. But even ignorance has its limits. I hit my limit that day with Anna and before I knew it, she was dead."

"Oh, Rose…" Bella whispered.

It was her first and last time drinking human blood.

"After I called Emmett and Carlisle, we burned the body. We burned the whole house. The family had been through this before and we knew how to cover our tracks. We were in a new state by morning with new lives. A clean slate."

She said this last part sardonically. Like you could just erase something like that from your memory. Rosalie barely spoke of it with her family except for Emmett, but Anna's life and death changed her. She actively repelled the majority of humans who attempted to get to know her because the majority of humans who approached her were pricks. But once in a while she would spy someone like Anna-a truly kind, genuine person, and she'd push back even harder. She hated herself for what she did, but in a way she hated Anna too for her gullibility. She hated her for letting Rosalie get close enough to hurt her.

"I'm so sorry," Bella said. And what else could she say? Bella knew better than anyone the pain of living on after causing gruesome deaths.

Rosalie nodded, grateful for Bella's simple response.

"Bells, I'm telling you all of this so you know everything. All the things a person should know about their lover before they can take the next step."

* * *

Bella froze.

As if a veil had lifted from her eyes, the reason for this strange conversation was suddenly clear to her. She instinctively knew where all of this would lead and a part of her, the strongest, brightest, happiest part of her, died a little inside.

Rosalie continued, too wrapped up in what she was about to say perhaps to notice that her girlfriend was falling apart.

"Bella, I'm not sure if I'll ever get over what I've lost. But I've begun to accept it. And I have you to thank for that. The truth is...until I met you, until I fell for you and understood what you'd be to me, I would've traded everything I had for a chance to be human again. I wanted the chance to change, to grow, to become more than what I am...than what I was that night. Loving Emmett...I didn't get it until recently, but loving Emmett changed me. And loving you...my god, I can't begin to describe what you've done to me. Because of you and him, I am more today than anything I ever was. And Bella, I know there's more to come. A year from now...ten years...a century...I don't think I...or any of us...will be unchanged. What I'm trying to say, Bells, is that I'm looking forward to an eternity not of stillness but of life. With you. With us. I'm so sorry it took me this long to say it. Bella, will you become one of us? Will you be mine, forever?"

By now tears have fallen, and continued to stream down Bella's face. What Rosalie just said...Bella knew how difficult it was for her to say it. She knew the battle she fought with herself to finally accept her immortality and be at peace with who she was, who she'd always be. Rosalie deserved much more than what she was about to do to her.

She looked her in the eyes and gave her answer.

"No," she said without wavering. "I won't become one of you. I'm so sorry, but I can't-I will not be yours forever."

A foot in front of her, Rosalie was as still as a statue. Bella held her breath, waiting for her to say something, for her to react, to do something. Anything.

Bella registered surprise first on her face. Then shock. And finally Rosalie settled on her familiar, tried and true standard: cold rage.

Bella blinked and in that split second, Rosalie was gone.

"Rose!"

She shouted her name as she stood, frantically turning this way and that looking for her.

"Rose, please!"

A branch snapping violently below. Without a pause Bella dived down, trying to catch sight of the blonde to no avail.

"Damn it Rose! Let me explain!"

More signs of recent damage through the trees in front of her. Bella bolted, her fire and wind working together to propel her deeper and deeper into the forest. Still no Rosalie.

Deep inside herself, her remorse metamorphosed to anger. Not again. Not again!

"You promised!" She shouted, still running but in which direction she had not a clue. "You promised you wouldn't do this! You made me promise you that I wouldn't run! I kept my word! Who's running now?!"

She had to stop. Her grief burned so bright she was in danger of exploding. Already, red specks discoloured the greenery all around her, and she knew that her eyes would soon see nothing but flames.

She scrunched her eyes tightly and balled up her fists. Try as she might, she couldn't stop the sob from escaping her chest. Like an out of tune piano it clashed horribly with the peace of the forest, leaving her breathless.

"WHO'S RUNNING NOW?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: ...and cut! Some big developments here story-wise. Please be oh so lovely readers and leave some feedback. I've mentioned Rosalie's "affairs" a couple of times before, and I hope the way I presented them shows her humanity and complexity. We live in a slut-shaming world and women who freely admit to a complex sexuality (especially those who do so without guilt or apologies) are relegated to beastly standards. That, to me, is beastly. Anyway, please do review. Your responses are what keeps me going. And get ready for some angst.


	76. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twlight.
> 
> Author's note I: In the reviews, way, way too many of you said you were uber confused with Bella's answer. I replied and will repeat myself here for all you silent readers. If you're honestly surprised that Bella doesn't want to become a vampire then you need to read certain chapters more closely. The clues started way back in chapter 39:
> 
> '"Extraordinary..." Eleazar muttered. "And she's not even a vampire yet..."
> 
> Both Edward's and Bella's fists clenched at that. Bella looked down, missing the curious glance Tanya sent her way.'
> 
> There are more clues in Ch. 45, 46, 74, and in the first half of 75. Clues like 'It was clear as day what they all wanted. It was inevitable...one of them was bound to bring it up...and Bella dreaded that conversation more than anything else. She couldn't imagine how she'd react when that day came. But she knew...she knew in her heart what her answer would be.'
> 
> Author's note II: Listen to 'In Principo' by Ludovico Einaudi.

If her fire wasn't hers to control, Forks would be razed to the ground by now, she thought with an acrid laugh. The flames seared so close to her skin, her temperature must be through the roof. In the dark of night her skin glowed, luminescent from the embers that sizzled and sparked inside her.

Fifteen months. She had never stayed so long in one state, let alone one town since childhood. The itch to keep moving tingled through her body like the air before a storm. She was electrified and abuzz with the need to _keepmoving_. And yet...

She dropped unceremoniously to the hard ground in front of the cabin the Denalis had built for her and Rosalie. This place...god it hasn't even been a year. Whenever she ventured inside the small structure, during one of her many solo trip up here, if Bella closed her eyes and shut out all noise from the outside she could replay the wonderful memories and relive them. She attempted it again now, but the emotions, while still strong insider her, felt like they were happening to someone else...like she was a spectator on a movie set.

Some things were the same. Others still had changed beyond description.

Her love for Rosalie...that hasn't changed. No, that's not right. It was stronger than ever. What did she know of love when she kissed Rose for the first time? All she knew back then was that Rosalie filled something in her heart she didn't previously know was hollow. And in the span of a single year, the complicated blonde grew inside of herself so that she filled every nook, cranny and crack. Was it even possible to live without her now?

She couldn't wrap her mind around a life without Rosalie, and that very inability was angering her on top of all her other emotions. Seven years on her own...seven years, and now after a single one she couldn't find her bearing?

The minutes, the hours, for all Bella knew the days themselves drifted in and out. Bella lay on the hard ground as the earth moved beneath her, keeping time as it always had without pause. She had no idea how much time time had passed as she watched the sky. She didn't recall night turning to day. Then again, she didn't recall the run over here either.

Running was all Bella had known for so long. She may not have been born with the instinct, but now it was as deeply ingrained in her as...as her fire.

But didn't she suppress it for over a year? Didn't she make the choice to settle down, at least temporarily for Charlie's and her future's sakes? And-and she couldn't lie to herself with this one-didn't she honestly never feel the pull to leave when she was with the Cullens? It was true. That family-Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, Alice, Jasper and Carlisle-was a powerful magnet that had held her in place all these months. Except for the two week stint last summer, the thought of leaving them never even crossed her mind. Even those two weeks away from them were spent trying, unsuccessfully, to burn the bridge to the Cullens. The bond she shared with them was the one thing it seemed, that even she couldn't burn.

High over her head, she watched slick coils of fire dance through the sky. They writhed like whip lashes, fifty shades of burning red, yellow, and orange. Bella's eyes followed their every movement though, it was more accurate to say they followed Bella's eyes. The tango in the sky was a product of her imagination, and she let its hypnotic twirls and sashays lull her and bring her some comfort.

A movement devoid of flame caused her to snap her head to the side. She simultaneously calmed and tensed. Twenty feet away, a small bear, a cub judging by its playful curiosity, was frolicking through some bushes. Bella sat up, momentarily distracted from the searing sky. Having basically lived in the wilderness for almost half her life, Bella had seen her share of wild animals but she'd never been this close to a grizzly without a ton of foliage to separate them. It let out a soft roar and tripped over its own feet, causing Bella to lightly giggle to herself.

The cub was an arm's length away from her when its mother showed up.

Bella would've missed it if she hadn't released an ear-splitting roar. She turned just in time to see her barrelling at full speed towards her cub, and...towards her.

A normal human being would take this opportunity to run like hell. At the very least, a normal human being would shit their pants. Bella did neither of those things.

Instead, she calculated how much time it would take for the mother to reach her. Based on its discernible speed, the slight slope of the ground, and a dozen other criteria that raced through her mind, Bella determined she had just under 4 seconds until contact.

And she waited. A running montage of her fucked up life, in no particular order, played behind her eyes as she watched that furious face, those long jagged teeth, and those curved claws race closer and closer. Her childhood came and went in the blink of an eye. It was a blur; of hiding, of concealing a part of her that didn't want and, eventually, would refuse to stay concealed. The fireworks of her 9th birthday was next. Renee and her parents' guests disappearing in a flash. Her escape from the wreckage. The last fifteen months of surreal happiness with the Cullens. Seven years of a repetitive, lonely, basic existence. And then, though it only took a second in real time, every face of the 508 people she had killed. But it was Rosalie's face, not any of her victims', that lingered the longest. Bella's jaw slackened as she traced the curves of her cheeks with her eyes, as she noted the different shades of gold in her hair.

Through her tears, the blurry shape of the bear grew until it was all Bella could see. So close she could make out the individual hairs of its fur, could smell its acrid breath inches from her face, she glanced up and looked her foe in the eye.

And the bear froze in her tracks.

Bella sighed in relief though, she knew, also in disappointment.

This was not her first brush with imminent death. And, obviously since she was still breathing, it wasn't the first time one of her gifts took over to protect her.

"It was a good try," she spoke out loud, standing up so she was taller than the crouched, frozen bear though just barely. "You would've protected your baby if I was anyone, literally _anyone_ else."

The cub pawed its mother's leg, trying to get her attention.

"I didn't mean to stop you. I didn't want to. But some part of me did, enough for my gifts to kick in. I've gotten stronger this last year but...not strong enough to completely overpower it."

Not strong enough...

The first time Bella got her hands on a gun...she remembered how long she stood with it in her hands. She was shaking like a leaf. It took what felt like an eternity to pull it to her temple. And when she finally pulled the trigger...and nothing happened, she crumpled to the ground like a paper bag both elated to be still among the living and devastated that her moment of bravery had been for naught. It would be several days (and several deaths) until she gathered up her courage to try again. When she heard the click a second time she began to suspect...and her suspicions were confirmed when she fired the gun at the ground, the bullet exploding out of the barrel and crashing into the mud with a bang.

"The monster likes destroying too much," she said, still talking to the immobile grizzly. "It won't let me hurt myself. Now if you snuck up on me maybe you would've done some damage. But it's too late now…"

Standing in front of a speeding car only destroyed the car. Pills, taken with the intention of overdosing, burned to ash in her mouth. Knives disintegrated before they could pierce her skin. And when she jumped off a goddamn cliff, fate bestowed on her a pair of wings.

"You're fortunate," she said. "If you'd tried this a few years ago, you would've exploded. Boom."

The cub tried to nuzzle into its mother's hide, but the big bear was stiff as a board and her fur wouldn't give. The little one kept trying until it found a distraction in the form of scampering spiders.

"If I can do this now," she whispered, gesturing at the bear's frozen body, "what will I be able to do as a vampire?"

Inexplicably, an image of Darth Vader popped into her mind and she laughed.

"If I can do this now," she asked as she held out her hand and closed the distance between her thumb and index finger like Vader liked to do, "what will I be capable of as a vampire?"

The bear's eyes grew even more panicked as she squeezed her jugular, cutting her brain off from its oxygen supply. With narrowed eyes she released her throat a moment later.

"I can set you on fire. Stop your blood from flowing to your heart. Sever each and every one of your limbs. I can cauterize your wounds in a flash just so I can keep torturing you. Keep your eyes open indefinitely until you pass out. Peel your skin off like a potato. I can throw you through a glass wall. Throw you into a shark tank."

She closed her eyes and ordered her body to _not_ demonstrate what her sick imagination could dream up. It was hard. It was so, so hard to keep from carrying out her casual threats.

"I am a seventeen-year-old girl," she whispered, "and I can kill you a thousand different ways with nothing more than a _thought_. What the _FUCK_ does she think will happen if I become like her?!"

She was too angry. Furious not only because Rosalie didn't giver her the chance to explain, but also because she should've thought of this in the first place.

"A year of uncontrollable blood lust?" She laughed. "I killed 400 people my first year. How many will die while I'm a newborn? Another 400? 4,000?!"

Little kids mark their growth with lines on the wall signifying heights, she thought bitterly. Bella would be marking her years with death tolls.

"How could _any_ of them think I'm good vampire material?" She laughed like a mad woman with her arms in the air above her. "The fucking _planet_ could explode!"

It took every ounce of her self control to keep from burning the two animals before her. They were bigger than the squirrel. Bigger than any of the critters she inadvertently burned out here during her episodes of release. Their melting flesh, their screams of anguish would feel so, so good.

_Rosalie. Rosalie. Rosalie!_

The animals did not burn, but deep inside herself Bella did. Exhausted and, deciding she'd better stop tempting herself, she wordlessly released the mother bear from her invisible shackles.

Bella stood tall. The bear reared back on her hind legs and stood way, way taller. Bella didn't budge.

"Get the fuck out of here," she whispered, glaring up into the grizzly's eyes and daring her to try anything. _Just give me an excuse…._

Mama bear was smarter than that though. After a few tense seconds she went down on all fours and hurriedly guided her cub away from Bella. In the animal kingdom at least, mothers will always protect their children, she thought bitterly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note III: Hopefully you found Bella talking to the bear as creepy as I did. If, while reading it, you thought she would kill the bear, that actually was my original plan. Just as I was about to have her start torturing it though, Bella starting talking and the scene totally changed. Please tell me what you think! Would you have preferred it if Bella acted out one of her sadistic torture/killing methods?
> 
> Next chapter: Rosalie and Emmett. And...Bella does something I bet none of you will anticipate!


	77. Asunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's note I: The ending of this chapter will probably shock you and might seem like it comes out of nowhere. It doesn't. It's been playing out in my head for months and you might benefit from reading the 2nd half twice, reading between the lines if you still find yourself going "wtf?!"
> 
> Author's note II: For the Rosalie and Emmett scene, listen to "On the Nature of Daylight" by Max Richter. For the 2nd flashback scene, listen to "Vladimir's Blues and "Written in the Sky" by Max Richter. For the last two scenes, listen to "Fly" by Ludovico Einaudi.

It took a lot for Emmett to grow truly angry at something or with someone. Usually the effort to piss him off backfired, and the offending person in question gave up long before they could reach his limit. The only exception to this, of course, was Edward, whose biting snipes at his wife and his general judgements of her and their marriage rarely failed to ignite indignation deep within him. Edward's simplistic way of looking at the world had never changed since he was turned in 1917, and the part of him that loved his brother (because in the end, he was still his brother) truly feared that he would only grow more and more archaic as the years crept on. There are no absolutes in this world. Conduct that was perfectly all right in Edward's time was not today, and the same held true vice versa. His brother's happiness depended on him learning this vital lesson lest he succumbs so far into his self-made isolation that no one, not even the ever compassionate Esme and Carlisle, can pull him out.

But Edward, for once, had nothing to do with his current vexation. That honor belonged to none other than his wife.

"What do you mean we need to leave?" He asked cautiously.

They were standing together in a secluded corner of Hoh rainforest, an hour west of Forks. It had not taken him and the family long to realize both Rosalie and Bella were missing. Calls to the two went unanswered and so Emmett set out to track his wife, starting with her favorite locations. She'd come here before, many years ago, to blow off steam.

Usually when Emmett found her after she'd run off, Rosalie would be fuming. She'd be tearing something apart, causing as much damage as she could to get whatever was bothering her out of her system. Today however, she stood in stony silence. Emmett looked around and, to his beguilement, not so much as a rock looked out of place.

"Rosalie, what's going on? We can't find Bella."

She hissed when he said the name, startling him.

"Rosalie," he said again. "Where's-"

"It doesn't matter. It's over."

He cocked his head in confusion. Her words made no sense but her tone...that cold, disgusted tone she reserved for the teenage hoodlums who thought they had a chance with her...made him pause with caution.

"What's over?"

"It," she hissed. "This ridiculous experiment. It's over. We were all wrong about her. She's not my mate after all."

Emmett blanched as the meaning of her words finally started to make sense.

"What happened?!"

She didn't answer and Emmett, truly starting to panic now, asked again with more urgency.

"She doesn't want forever!" Rosalie yelled, choking on the the last word. "She doesn't want to be like us!"

He gasped. He couldn't help himself. Rosalie finally popped the question then, after months of prodding from himself and the rest of the family. All of them, minus Edward, wanted Bella in the family of course, but it was implicitly agreed upon that Rosalie would be the one to do the honors.

"She said no?" His face, boyish already, looked even younger as the implications hit him in the gut. How could she say no?

Seeing his face, Rosalie scrunched her eyes and crumpled to the ground. He surged forward and held her as she sobbed silently into his shoulder. The anger exuding from her earlier fizzled as sadness displaced it. How could she say no?

"Why?"

"She didn't say…"

That didn't sound like Bella. He looked his wife in the eye and, when she quickly turned away, surmised what had happened.

"You didn't give her a chance to, did you?"

"It doesn't matter what her reasons are," she yelled, her eyes bright. Some of her previous anger seeped back into her voice. "I can't-I can't watch her die."

Emmett shook his head, slowly at first as he processed everything, then more vehemently.

"So that's it?" He asked her in disbelief. "You ask her once, she says no, and you're done?"

She looked him defiantly. "What more can I do?!"

"Don't give up!" He exclaimed. "And don't-don't say she's not your mate because we both know that's bullshit."

Rosalie stood up. Her eyes flashed with indignation but Emmett's eyes also shone. "We can't force her to turn!"

"We have years to convince her!" He countered.

"Fine!" She screamed. "You try and convince her all you want. But I'm done! She rejected me! Flat out rejected me! After how hard…"

She stopped talking, clearly on the verge of crying again. Emmett's heart went out for her but despite her pain, he knew she was wrong.

"I want to leave, Em," she whispered.

"No."

Silence. Rosalie looked at him, not quite registering his response.

"I want to leave."

"No. No. No!"

Rosalie narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to make the same demand, but Emmett was done listening.

"You're being stupid!" Emmett yelled. "Shortsighted! You don't get what you want as soon as you want it, and you throw a tantrum? You demand we throw away what we've built here and high-tail it? NO!"

"She-"

"She's changed you! You're a better person because of her! You can't go back and you know it! If you leave her you'll be a miserable mess and I can't have that, Rose. I can't let you do that to yourself."

"I was fine before I met her, Emmett."

"No you weren't," he scoffed. "You fooled the family but you can't fool me. Something was always missing and I'm not talking about our marriage. Something was missing for you, period. I know you best, Rose, and I'm telling you: Bella is it!"

Rosalie threw her hands in the air, exasperated. She was not used to Emmett so forcefully demanding his way. There hasn't been cause for a lot of disagreement between the two. It was disconcerting to witness her mellow, agreeable husband glare at her like this.

But as irritated as she was with him, she knew he was right. A vampire can never forget...The shift in her, deep and reverberating inside her, could not be undone.

"She's changed us, too," Emmett whispered. "You know we don't change so easily but we have with her! We've all changed because of her and I'm not gonna let you toss her out of our lives! That's not fair. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to them!"

Rosalie fell to her knees on the ground. Perhaps out of anger. Or perhaps the grief she felt...the wound she was inflicting on herself with this preposterous insistence on leaving was finally now showing its toll on her body. Lord only knows what it was doing to her soul. Emmett's heart broke when he knelt down with her and looked into her eyes. He felt her pain as keenly as if he was stabbed with it himself, and he hoped for his as well as for her sake that they'd never live to see the day in which Bella no longer existed in their world. Rosalie was the strongest person he knew...yet he couldn't wager on her surviving Bella's death. If she couldn't, he couldn't.

"We'll find a way," he whispered to her. "You're not the only one who loves her!"

* * *

Rosalie's lips twitched. She was determined to keep from laughing out loud but Bella was making that quite difficult. The human, in the meantime, was grinning like a maniac at her girlfriend's losing struggle.

" It's no use," Rosalie insisted as she flashed her a steady smile. "It won't work"

Bella's own smile grew and she refined her power once again so that she barely felt it herself. Clumsy human fingers were never going to tickle a vampire. But her intricate control over the air meant it could caress Rosalie's skin in a way the vampire never anticipated, and Bella was enjoying watching her bite her lip and struggle not to burst out laughing.

" I don't think so," Bella whispered wickedly. She eased her power even more and her heart skipped a beat when Rosalie let out a soft sigh. "You can't win every battle, love."

With that she carefully lowered the caress to the small spot right beneath the underside of her breast-and Rosalie released a sudden, surprised (and magical, Bella thought) laugh from deep within her.

Bella cheered her victory. She didn't linger on it however because watching Rosalie was its own reward-far greater than winning a bet. Her smile lit up her face, and Bella's victorious grin softened at Rosalie's radiance. It wasn't her beauty alone that chased away every thought in Bella's mind. This carefree and utterly wild laugh was not an everyday occurrence, and she felt her insides ballooning in her chest for inspiring it now.

She let Rosalie's glow warm her up and, though she stayed fully in the here and now with her, filed these precious moments away to a special place in her mind. Unlike the vast, organized library that was the rest of her mind, this place was chaos by comparison. And it was small. But...it was growing. Fragments of memories lay strewn, ready to be picked up: Alice gleefully twirling her around in an outfit she liked; Jasper's animated civil war storytelling; Carlisle's surprised but pleased smile when she asked him to be her emergency contact at work; Esme, watching her sketch with pride; every one of Emmett's bear hugs; and Rosalie...Rosalie was everywhere. Her presence overwhelmed the others'. She overwhelmed even Bella's many happy memories of flying through the skies.

When the fire coursed through her, too painful to ignore, and she felt herself sieged and desperate to let it consume...everything...it was this trough of memories that saved her. It was this trough of memories that saved everyone around her.

* * *

She wiped angrily at the tears that ran, determined, down her face. She was too angry to cry, she thought bitterly. This hollowness in her chest-it was beyond anger. It was betrayal. Bitterness. Sheer disappointment. And absolute, heart-rendering sadness. Bella felt lost in a way she never felt in all her years alone. She was a high-flying balloon untethered from her pack, and she was drifting further and further away until the chance to return became a statistical zero. She was drifting too high-so high even her wings might not save her. So high she may as well explode with a pop.

Rain poured outside as usual, but Bella was safe from the downpour inside the car she had stolen in Whitehorse. It still had the new car smell. Hopefully its owner had a good insurance policy. Stealing it was surprisingly simple. All she had to do was run her wind over every contour inside the keyhole until she figured out the exact shape of the key, and then form the wind to solidify into that shape. Easy.

Everything was easy.

She could do what she pleased. Obtain enough money and worldly possessions to live like a queen. She couldn't see the future of the stock market like Alice, but there was no need when she could speed past a bank clerk, too fast for the cameras to catch her...when she could blow up any safe and unlock any lock.

But that's not what would please her.

"Don't", she muttered to herself, because what would please her...what would catch her breath with sheer pleasure that dwarfed the prospect of living in style till the end of her days, was fire.

Fire that touched and destroyed. Fire that connected her to things in ways no one in the world could possibly understand. It was as beautiful as it was mortifying. It was Godly.

People were walking past her and the car. She was parked on a side street near several cafes and clubs somewhere in Seattle. Men and women laughed and greeted each other. They shook hands. They hugged. They kissed. They led uncomplicated, happy lives. None of them had to cope with the fear of taking yet another life.

What to do now? For fifteen months her life was connected, through a thousand different threads in one way or another to a Cullen. Rosalie didn't understand—might never understand or approve of her determination to stay human. But what about the others? Were those threads already cut?

Did Bella have the strength to live without them? That was the question that haunted her these last days spent drifting without direction. Was she even capable of purging her heart of them…of purging her heart of Rosalie? Or was she as permanent inside herself as venom was in her?

Her vision was clouded. The clarity with which she could previously see her small plans and small hopes for the hundreds of tomorrows she got to live with Rosalie and her family…that clarity was gone now, replaced with crushing fear and self-doubt.

Could she ever move past Rosalie?

The crowd thinned enough, probably on account of the hour, for her to focus her attention more fully on each person she saw. There was a young couple, a man and a woman, smoking and talking quietly outside one of the bars. On a street corner, a handful of young men stood milling around in that irritating way only teenage hoodlums can manage. They looked familiar. In fact…

"Will," she whispered as she reached for her memory of her first encounter with Rosalie. That was the guy's name, one of Rosalie's harassers. And standing right next to him was another face she recognized…he was the one who threatened Bella and prompted Rosalie to jump in between them.

She looked down in surprise when she spied a light in her peripheral vision. It was her hands. Her hands were clenched into tight fists, and they were starting to glow.

She could do it in a heartbeat. She could extinguish those lowlifes' lives without leaving her car. She could do it with her eyes closed.

She could.

She can.

She didn't.

Instead, she got out of the car and walked up to the couple.

* * *

In the darkness, Bella slid out of the bed as quietly as she could. There was just enough light from under the door for her to get her bearings and find her clothes. It took a while to sort through the articles she found on the floor until she was sure she was wearing her own things.

"Hey."

Her hand was on the doorknob when the light turned on and the woman spoke. Beside her, her boyfriend too roused and looked up sleepily.

"What's wrong?" The woman asked. Becka. That was her name. And his was Rob. "We thought you were staying till morning."

Bella smiled politely and looked down slightly when she got up from the bed and approached her, completely nude. She had no reason to be shy, Bella guessed, not after the last few hours. Neither did Bella, but she nonetheless felt overcome with bashfulness.

"I'm sorry, but I need to go," Bella said.

Rob walked up to her too (after putting on a pair of shorts, thank goodness). "We had a great time," he said when he reached his girlfriend. They both smiled at each other before he added, "we'd love to see you again, if you'd like."

Bella smiled gently and accepted the hotel card they gave her with their number written hastily on the back. She took it, and let them each kiss her once on the lips before she said her goodbye and left the room.

The card was burned to ash before she stepped outside.

Too tired to fly or run, she walked back to the stolen car and programmed the GPS for Forks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note III: Yes, what you think happened did in fact just happen. Before you light a torch and burn me in effigy, please remember that a. I never gave Bella a sexual orientation (when Charlie asked her if she liked girls, she responded "I like Rosalie") and that b. I've made an effort to draw a clear separation between sex and romantic love in this story, i.e., Rosalie's history (by the way, pay attention to what Rosalie said in the last chapter: Emmett had/has his flings too!). Bella's allowed to indulge too and explore her sexuality or in this case, her depression-induced curiosity.


	78. Clowns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> isclaimer: I do not own Twilight
> 
> Author's note I: I completely forgot to include this in last chapter's notes. This is really important because a surprising number of you mentioned it and you're really, really wrong. Bella is NOT indestructible. Get that thought out of your heads immediately. Guns and knives and pills and whatnot don't work on her WHEN SHE IS THE ONE TRYING TO HURT HERSELF. Think of it like a gag reflex. No one is capable of holding their breath until they die. Eventually the urge to breathe will overpower them. The same thing happened every time Bella tried to take her own life. Her gifts, like a gag reflex, took over and saved her from herself. That doesn't mean she's immortal however. Her blood can be spilled as easily as anyone else's. If, for example, she's asleep in a car and there's an accident and she hits her head hard enough before waking up, she will die. She's not aware of the danger and so neither are her powers, which then can't kick in to protect her. Bella is mortal. She is human. She ages normally. Left to her own devices she'll die of old age or disease. She has superpowers, sure, but she is not superwoman. She's not made of steel. Ok?
> 
> Author's note II: Listen to "Send In the Clowns" performed by Bjarne E. Nielsen for the second half of this. It's pertinent to the chapter. Remember, all music mentioned in the story is available in one playlist on youtube entitled 'The Music of "Gifted"' which is under my youtube username, darcythe2nd.

It took his ancient alarm clock 20 minutes of incessant ringing before Charlie finally opened his eyes. The most basic things in his small world demanded more energy from him than he had to give. Even brushing his teeth in the morning felt like a monumental task, and he had to consciously remind himself to do it lest he get another lecture from his dentist.

Harder still were the days he didn't go to work. He was the boss, but even the boss couldn't schedule himself 24/7. And his deputy and other coworkers would notice anyway. So he took his obligatory time off without complaint and struggled to fill the days. Struggled…and rarely succeeded.

He padded downstairs and set about for the day, already feeling overwhelmed with the number of hours he'd have to fill. Probably just turn on ESPN as usual. But he needed to eat first. That, at least, he managed to remember.

It was when he set his bowl and spoon on the counter that he noticed something was off.

Right in front of his house, sat an unfamiliar car that had not been there the night before.

A new car was not completely out of the ordinary, but he knew all his neighbors and this one didn't belong to any of them. His house was also rather a ways from theirs so there was no logic in parking a car here.

He was grappling this when a movement caught his peripheral vision. Across his back lawn, nearly half a football field away, he could've sworn he saw something move right next to the garden shed.

Instincts trumped everything else as he slid into a pair of shoes and reached for his weapon. But when he reached the shed's door, when he whipped it open and stormed inside ready to give the intruder a piece of his mind and saw that it was Bella—Bella!—without thinking he immediately threw his gun to the ground.

"Oh my god," was all he could say.

Relief flooded him. Happiness flooded him. It was Bella. It was Bella! She looked more weary than him (which was saying something) but it was her. She was sitting on the couch, leaning back. And she was looking straight at him.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," she replied.

Charlie had no idea what to say next. Or what to do. He didn't own a single picture of his daughter so he just stood there, drinking the sight of her in. It had only been a couple of months since he saw her last, but she had grown in that time. Taller, he thought. And her shoulders looked a little broader, like she'd improved her posture. Or maybe she just carried herself differently. Her hair had a lot more color too. They used to be plain brown but now there were more shades of it, some as light as red. The lone window in the loft let a little sun in, and some of it touched her hair, confirming the red he thought he saw. _Like fire_ , he thought.

She was still beautiful, but she didn't look seventeen anymore. She never really did, he reminded himself. She always looked eons older than she was. Who could blame her, with what she shouldered? _An old soul_ , Renee used to say during the less than happy days of her childhood.

An old and _terrifying_ soul. Charlie would never forget the first time he witnessed Bella's strange power. For Renee it was a lit stove, but for him it was the open flame of his welding equipment. He would never forget walking into the garage and finding his daughter covered with flames. The terror that overcame him. Bella crying not because of the pain but because she disobeyed her promise to her mother (though Charlie didn't know any of this then). Charlie thought he lost his daughter that day, and every day since and until the unthinkable happened, he lived in fear of losing her and in fear _of_ her.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't still scared of her now. But he struggled—oh, how he struggled—not to show it.

"Do you want me to go?" She asked suddenly, and he refocused his attention on her.

"No!" God no. Not again. Never again.

She nodded. "Then…can I stay a while?"

Charlie's turn to nod. "Did…did something happen with the Cullens?"

Bella looked down at the floor before she replied, "yes."

His heart sped in his chest. "Did they hurt you?!"

She looked up quickly, quizzically, but she shook her head at least. Ok. Ok.

But she did look hurt. Heartbroken. And lost. _As lost as I feel._

He looked around the tiny shed with its shabby furniture, the pathetic things that passed for a kitchen in the corner, that impossibly small bathroom (big enough though, he thought with a deep blush, remembering what he saw there). Deeply ashamed of his treatment of her in the short time he had her here, he made up his mind.

"Bella, you can stay in the house," he said quickly, excited. "I can move your bed there right now. There's plenty of space and—"

"No," she said, catching him off guard.

"What?"

She shook her head. "I'd rather stay here, Charlie. But thank you for the offer."

He deflated a little. It was just a few seconds from the formulation of the idea to its death, but in those seconds he imagined a real blank slate with Bella. He imagined making her breakfast like a real father would and helping her with her homework.

"Oh…all right."

Then, because it suddenly occurred to him, he asked, "What is that car out front?"

She pursed her lips like she had forgotten something embarrassing. "Oh, uh…I stole it."

Say what? He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"From Whitehorse. Canada. I don't really want to talk about it. Can you just…take care of it?"

He stared at her. Can he take care of it? Is that what she just asked him?

"Okay…I'll just…pretend I didn't hear that."

He opened the door and left after deciding against asking her if there were bodies in the trunk. The joke would be funny with anyone but her. He almost forgot he was still wearing his pajamas when he laughed and went back to the house to change. Ten minutes later, he was dressed and had wiped every place where Bella could have left a fingerprint on the car. So she stole a car! At least it's in one piece, he consoled himself. And covering her ass—well, he damn well owed her. After calling a tow truck and directing the station to make a call to the Whitehorse police station, he got into his own cruiser and headed for town.

The shed's fridge needed to be stocked. And when that was done, he'd make a trip to the antique store downtown. There was an old upright piano that was on sale there for as long as he remembered. Bella used to play. She used to love it.

 _It's a bribe_ , he berated himself.

But it's a start.

* * *

Jasper couldn't take it anymore. His usually infinite vampire patience fizzled as he bolted towards Bella's door. Charlie had gone in there over an hour ago and judging by the music wafting from the shed, he wasn't coming out on his own accord any time soon.

 _Hold your breath_ , he reminded himself. _Move slowly. Blink at least three times a minute._

He knocked three times, hoping it sounded like a polite knock and not a bloodthirsty vampire knock.

The music came to an abrupt stop, and Charlie opened the door.

* * *

"What did you say to him?" Jasper asked her, later after Charlie left them in peace. "He's extremely nervous."

Bella shrugged. "He's probably afraid I'll leave with you."

The off-handed way she said it made it clear to him that that wasn't happening.

He sighed and sat down on the couch next to her. It had taken more time that he would wager on to get Charlie to finally give them privacy. On top of the time during which Bella was missing...Jasper was bursting in the seams with all that he wanted to tell her. All he wanted to ask her.

"How did you know I was here anyway?"

Jasper tipped his head in the direction of the house. "I was in town with Alice when we saw him. He was...much too excited. I guessed at the reason, and Alice looked into his future and saw him buying that piano. Deductive reasoning led us here."

She nodded, smiling a little, probably at the thought that Charlie was so happy to have her back.

"Where is she?" She asked.

"Waiting for us to finish. I wanted to a chance to figure out your emotions first," he said with all honesty.

She raised an eyebrow, narrowing her eyes at the same time.

"And what...am I feeling?"

Bella's tone completely changed with her question. She was quieter. More intense. Her words, he could tell, were measured and careful. _I guess small talk is over._

Jasper studied her before answering, letting himself brush over her gently so he could give her an accurate answer. Emotions weren't black and white. They weren't labeled for him, all neat and orderly for him to sift through and identify. No, Jasper's skill was part sensing the emotion and part translating the many facets of it into proper words that could be understood by others as well as himself. The more intense the emotion, the easier it was. The more complex, and the more conflicting emotions he felt, the harder.

"You're sad," he said, choosing the simplest thing of all the things she felt. "Disappointed. Anxious. Scared."

And guilty. Always guilty...but he didn't say that out loud.

She looked away, and Jasper wondered for the thousandth time how she could go on each day with that mountain of guilt crushing her...how she found the will to even laugh. It crushed _him_...when he was stupid and concentrated too hard on her to feel what she felt.

"Is it because we're monsters?" He asked her quietly when neither of them could stand the silence any longer. "Why you don't want to join us?"

Bella looked up, surprise etched on her face. "No!" She cried. "That's not-and you're _not_ monsters!"

Compassion poured out of her as she said the words and Jasper, though he believed the words alone because it was Bella who said them, found that her heart backed them up. She meant what she said.

"Then why?"

"Because," she gave him a pained look. "Because I can't allow myself to become even more dangerous than I already am."

"You can't sugarcoat this," she continued quietly. "You know better than anyone how difficult it is to stay sane when all you want to do is bite somebody. Can you honestly guarantee that I won't kill anyone?"

"No, I can't," he replied sadly.

"Then there's nothing more to talk about."

He shook his head, more to clear his thoughts than for her benefit. Bella's argument was sound. Hell, if any of them had been told of the agony and hurt that lay in store for them after turning, he was sure everyone in his family would've chosen to die if given the choice. Logic agreed with Bella but...Jasper was not ruled by logic. Emotion. That's what he knew and understood. And _everything_ he felt screamed at him that Bella should be turned...that she would be happy with Rosalie forever...that she would control her inner monster better than logic would suggest. But how on earth could he get her to understand?

"I can feel you," he whispered carefully. "So many times since Christmas...a lot more lately...I can feel your emotions when they turn black with glee and boredom and contempt, and I know that whatever it is that's a part of you that you call the monster wants to destroy."

Bella, who by now was quite still in her seat, kept her head down and fixed her gaze on her lap. Shame and panic flooded Jasper's senses, and he tried to ease her.

"But you win every time!" He exclaimed, smiling. "However you do it, you always overpower the worst parts of you."

Jasper alone knew how much willpower it must take for Bella to overcome the terrible things she feels and the terrible thing she must want to do. Her desire to burn ran deep. Deeper than most of her other emotions.

Bella finally looked at him. She didn't bother to hide the fear from her face. "One of these days, I'm going to fail. That's my biggest fear."

"I don't think that's going to happen," he explained gently. "You get stronger everyday. And Bella, I think it has to do with your bonds with the family"

She gave him a look.

"It's true!" He leaned forward as he spoke as if more animation on his part would help her see that he was telling the truth. "You're better at dispelling the negativity when you're around one of us."

She rolled her eyes but nodded. "I won't argue with you on that. Even if you're right that doesn't mean life will be rosy and death-free for vampire Bella. There will be too much to fight, Jazz. The burning. The blood. And then there's these so-called gifts. If they're this strong while I'm human, how much stronger will they get if I'm turned? How much harder will it be to fight them?"

In her eyes, he saw her emotions cloud with stupefying fear. People are afraid of countless things, but the fear that tops them all...the fear that stops you in your tracks and weighs down on you from all directions until you're neck deep in your own despair is fear of _yourself._ When you are your own worst enemy, how do you fight? When your own mind and body can betray you, when you aren't even sure which way you ought to go, which set of rules to follow and which to defy, what then do you do?

"I can't predict your gifts," he said. "They're a variable honestly none of us can make sense of. But I can tell you that the control you've mastered over them is the same control you'd need to overcome bloodlust. I've worked with newborns for nearly a century, Bells, and your control surpasses all of theirs by miles. I believe in you."

But she doesn't. One look at her and he knew. She really doesn't think she can do it.

"Forever is a long time to avoid mistakes," she whispered, trailing off into silence, then, because Jasper didn't respond, ran her fingers over the keys of the piano and turned to him asking, "any requests?"

"I like the one you you were playing when I came," he responded. "Send in the Clowns. It's one of Rosalie's favorites."

Bella would forgive him one day, he thought as he watched her face fall and a new tidal wave of anguish explode from within her. But she kept her composure and started to play after only the briefest pause.

He waited a few beats before risking another mention. "She still hasn't come home. Emmett's with her."

A wisp of relief from her. Despite all the other distractions, Jasper grew contemplative as he thought of Bella's, Rosalie's, and Emmett's strange relationship. It said a lot that Bella didn't feel any flashes of jealousy when he said Emmett was with Rosalie. On the contrary, she felt relief. Bella was glad that Rosalie wasn't alone as she dealt with the trauma of her rejection.

"You really hurt her Bells."

She nodded, and he spied the formation of a single tear in the corner of her eye. He watched it leak far enough until it splotched down her face. The music slowed a little, and Jasper almost laughed at the odd appropriateness of this song. He knew the words by heart. It was about regret…about the cruel irony of finally overcoming your personal scruples only to find your struggle was meaningless in the end.

_I thought that you'd want what I want. Sorry, my dear._

What will Rosalie do? What will all of them do? None of them considered the possibility of Bella's refusal. That was a foolish mistake, Jasper could now see. They had all gotten used to the idea of Bella in their family forever. Take a bow, clowns. Take a bow.

"Won't you reconsider for her sake?" Jasper felt awful for manipulating her guilt, but what choice did he have? If playing dirty could one day lead to an immortal Bella by Rosalie's side than he would happily play dirty.

"You see what hurting her is doing to me," she whispered. He nodded. "But no. I won't reconsider. I hope she forgives me one day."

One day…

One day, Bella will die. One day, Bella will disappear. Forever.

One day, he would lose his sister. And Rosalie would lose…

_Half her heart._

"I won't give up hope," he said, standing up. "Some of us might. Some of us will respect your choice and never bring it up again. But I know... _I know_ , somehow deep down I'm sure of it...that you're meant to be an immortal. You more than anyone else in the world."

Having finished her song, she watched him tread back to the door. His hand just touched the door handle when he remembered something.

"Oh, you should probably stop by our house sometime soon," he said, trying to keep the sadness and disappointment out of his voice. "Edward's back. He says he has something extremely important to tell us, and that he wants you there for it."


	79. Tabula Rasa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Not a minute had passed after Jasper left her room than Alice stormed inside to yell at, reprimand, plead with, and hug her friend silly. Bella, already somewhat drained from talking to Jasper, quietly resigned herself to several more emotional confrontations. But the Cullens could talk all they wanted; she wasn't going to change her mind. As painful as the prospect of one day saying goodbye to the people she'd come to call family...to Rosalie...it was debilitatingly more painful to imagine herself living on for all eternity. Living...and killing.

It was cruelty defined that the one person who meant the most to her was the one person she couldn't be sure would ever get over all this. Precisely twenty days had passed since Rosalie disappeared, including the seven since Bella returned. It was their longest time apart since she'd known her, and for Bella it felt like twenty days without her sight. Twenty days without legs to prop her up. She felt like a ghost.

If it weren't for Charlie checking in with her every few hours she would still be in bed. His enthusiasm for her return into his life was still a hard thing to get used to. Every time he knocked on her door she half expected a retribution of some sort only to find him standing awkwardly with a takeout bag in his hands, eager but also struggling to connect. They struggled to speak to each other, both of them, and the silence between their scant words filled the space until they were treading in it. That's when Bella would sit at her new piano and play a song that would somehow bring oxygen back into the room and allow them both to breathe.

As strange as her new reality with Charlie was though, it was nothing compared to what had become the new normal with Jacob.

* * *

**Today:**

The tapping on the door came in a fast-paced, upbeat thump that immediately told Bella it was _not_ her father.

She walked to the door, half eager to open it, half fearful and holding back. She'd opened that door over a dozen times since she got back, and every time it was with a sense of paralyzing trepidation. When would she stop fearing what she'd find on the other side?

"Hey."

"Hey," she replied. Her voiced tinged with questions. With amazement and with uncertainty. With hope.

She opened the door wider and Jacob walked inside. His arms were laden with tupperware containers that looked too heavy and far too numerous for a regular human to carry.

"Esme made me bring these," he rolled his eyes. "I told her your fridge was the size of Eddie boy's head...but she chose to ignore me."

Bella shook her head. "She ignored you because she knew you'd eat most of it yourself."

He shrugged. "You gonna help me with this or not? Cause I probably _could_ finish it all if I tried."

She nodded, still trying to get her eyes accustomed to the sight of Jacob in her shed. Jacob talking to her. Jacob _smiling_ at her.

Out came her supply of plastic plates and utensils. The rubbish bin was put on alert beside the table; It would take a lot of plates to clean out this meal.

* * *

**Six days ago:**

She thought it would be Esme coming back to give her yet another hug. Or Carlisle wanting to add a postscript to his lengthy speech about respecting her decision. Hell, even Charlie-who had stopped by on six separate occasions during the last 24 hours, each time with take-out of some kind because the man seemed incapable of coming by without a justifiable excuse, and to him food was always a justifiable excuse to say hello-would not have been a surprise. But the person Bella saw when she opened the door right before sunset...was Jacob.

"Hi."

Bella stiffened as soon as she registered his presence. He was pretty stiff himself too, and he wasn't smiling. But he looked just as nervous as she felt and that gave her pause enough to formulate a response.

...which was a formulaic "hi" right back at him.

When she didn't add anything else, nor indeed, move to let him in, Jacob took a breath and spoke, all the while fidgeting in his spot.

"I heard about what happened," he said.

Bella nodded slowly, wanted to keep the ball in his court for as long as she could.

"You really don't wanna be a vamp someday?"

She shook her head, still not trusting herself to speak. What was he doing here? Why was he making small talk? Bella was afraid to react in any way because a reaction would have to be based on her perception of him and this conversation. He was talking to her. He was practically being nice to her...but she just couldn't bear the prospect of misjudging him, of misjudging this. So her expression stayed placid. No one looking at her would suspect the excitement, the hope that was swirling inside her as she watched her friend struggle to come up with his next words.

"Why?"

She spoke, finally. "They didn't tell you?"

He shrugged. "I heard a lot of things. But I wanted to hear from you."

She opened the door wider and leaned heavily against the frame. "I don't want to become a vampire because I don't want to kill anyone else," she said bluntly, noting how he momentarily lost his composure on the word 'kill'. "It's too great a risk, especially for someone like me."

Jacob nodded, still not looking directly at her. He too leaned against the frame of the door, on the other side opposite of her.

"I bet blondie didn't like that," he muttered, nodding.

A pang set her heart reeling in pain, as it usually did nowadays whenever she thought of Rosalie (which was just about every other second). Jacob, seemingly noticing the change in her countenance, immediately looked sorry to have brought her girlfriend up.

"Sorry, I didn't-"

"It's ok. You don't have anything to apologize for."

"Yeah...I do," he said, stiffening once more as he prepared himself to carry on. "I'm sorry for the way I've treated you, Bella."

Bella stared at him questioningly, not quite understanding what he was getting at. "What are you-"

"It wasn't your fault," he said. "I knew that...kind of...from the start. It was just, I dunno...easy I guess to hate you for it."

She watched him shuffle his feet. He was looking everywhere but directly at her, as though the walls could give him the courage to say these words that her expectant face most certainly could not.

"It wasn't your fault," he said again. "If my dad can forgive you, then...so can I."

Bella, who had stopped breathing earlier during this conversation, let out a shaky breath after his pronouncement. She was torn between exaltation and angst.

"But it was," she whispered.

If he heard her, he didn't react to her admission. Instead Jacob pocketed his hands and motioned for her to follow him to Charlie's driveway. Bella went along, dazed and not quite sure what to say or do. She stopped when he stopped, and watched him unload their bikes from the back of her ancient truck.

"I thought this might cheer you up," he said. Chancing a hesitant smile, he asked, "wanna go for a ride?"

* * *

**5 days ago:**

She had expected a snide remark from Leah but the girl had remarkably kept her mouth shut. Bella walked into the Cullens' home with Jacob 20 minutes ago and Leah, who was huddled next to Seth at the kitchen counter, had yet to comment on Rosalie and Emmett's absence. Despite her silence, Bells could feel her 'I told you so' from across the room hit her skin like a hot laser. The silent sting didn't bounce off of her like so many stings had before, but instead cut so deeply through her she imagined herself burning from the inside.

Edward's brusque voice broke through her dark thoughts.

"Hello, Bella," he said. "It's nice to see you again."

She smiled and nodded in his direction, and for the first time since she knew of her shielding skills she wished desperately for a moratorium on her power so she could communicate with him, even if just one-way. Why hadn't she called him before coming here? She had no idea what he'd said to their family but...they were still so nice to her...surely that wouldn't be the case if he told them the complete truth?

"Hi Edward," she replied in what sounded, to her anyway, like a forced response. "How was your trip?"

Leah's whole body seemed to roll along with her eyes as she groaned with exasperation. "Of for the love of god, are we seriously gonna do these stupid pleasantries? Can we please get on with why we're really here?"

Jacob sighed and gave her a look, but Leah would have none of that and glared icily at him. _She and Rosalie are so alike...they might be great friends one day if they could get over their differences._ She almost smiled at this, but her chest ached too much for Bella to do anything but pour her energy into hiding her feelings. No one reacted except for Jasper, who watched her sadly from his chair next to Alice.

Esme darted toward Leah with a tray of sandwiches and fruit, tsk-tsking her for the outburst. "Now, now. A minute of pleasantries won't do us any harm. These are the ones you said you liked dear. Go ahead, they're all for you."

Leah, who had visibly flinched when Esme reached her, also visibly restrained herself from lashing out at her, Bella was surprised to note. In fact Leah's face, when Esme had turned away and had her back to her, had softened quite a bit as she looked from the retreating woman to her pile of food before gingerly picking at one sandwich and taking a bite. Bella once again looked to Jasper and he confirmed her unspoken question with a very small smile. So something had thawed Leah's heart after all.

Edward resumed speaking as if nothing had interrupted their flow of conversation. "My trip had some very surprising consequences. Leah has a point though. They've been waiting for all of us to be here to discuss this. Since it doesn't look like Rosalie and Emmett will be joining us in the near future...now will have to do."

Bella wondered if her control was strong enough to rip his head clean off of his body in one searing effort. The smugness in his eyes was so unbelievably transparent. Was she so good at covering up her emotions that he couldn't see the savage rage emanating from her? Or was he really just that dense?

 _She's never coming back. She's never coming back._ Her mind screamed. Her heart ached. Her muscles burned. They burned. And they _burned._

"Let's get to it then," she said coolly. Bella did nothing to conceal the loathing she felt for the creature before her. If he was going to expose her ordering him to spy on the nomads, she wasn't going to bother with the pretense of friendship. Not when he was about to throw her under a bus.

But he didn't. He wouldn't, not when revealing her vile act would shed light on his own.

"When we were outside Bella's house, with the nomads inside with Charlie, you all noticed I was able to hear their thoughts without them detecting our scents."

Alice and Jasper nodded. They were with him that day and remembered perfectly the harrowing minutes spent learning second-hand through Edward about the unwelcome guests.

"Well," Edward continued, giving Bella a positively loathsome sneer, "that's what I did these last few weeks."

Alice bolted up from her seat. "Wait, what?!" She stared him in surprise and not without a little anger. No doubt she was irked that despite all her efforts, she hadn't seen this-any of this-coming.

"Victoria didn't sense the danger?" Jasper asked, surprised like Alice but more intrigued that Edward avoided detection.

"No," Edward addressed his brother. "I believe it was because I didn't mean her harm. I only wanted to understand their motives."

"So you weren't discovered?" Carlisle asked sharply.

Edward never hesitated. He shook his head repeatedly, but as he did he glanced at Bella for the briefest second and caught her eye...and she understood the double meaning in his words.

He _was_ discovered.

"Where are they?" Jacob demanded. "And why didn't you eliminate them?"

Edward addressed the second question first. "That wouldn't have worked. The second my intention changed to cause any harm, Victoria would've known and would've fled. This is her gift, and no matter how fast or strong her assailants are (and there have been many from what I gleaned from her thoughts) she would outrun, outmaneuver, and outsmart them all."

He turned to Jacob again. "That's why your pack will never catch her, especially if you're spreading yourselves thin all over the reservation. If all of you were there in the right place and in the right time...maybe. But not like this."

"They're not my pack," Jacob grumbled, but his face betrayed his worry. Schism or no schism between him and Sam's pack, in a battle between them and Victoria he'd root for them any day.

"Whatever. As to your first question, they don't stay in one place for more than a day."

Seth, the youngest wolf in either pack, spoke. "So what do they want?"

Edward actually scratched his head. For the first time today, Bella saw genuine thoughtfulness on his face, and her mind briefly flashed to an alternate universe where the two of them might have been friends or even lovers. Edward was capable of great kindness and compassion. His family's love for him spoke volumes on its own that Edward was worthy of their affections. Once upon a time...But once upon a time, Bella Swan happened, and Edward's position in the family had never been the same since. How could she blame him for hating her? Especially when in her own eyes, she deserved much, much less than what she was given here?

"What would happen..." He addressed the three members of Jacob's pack "...if one of you were bitten by a Vampire?"

Jacob cocked his head in surprise. "We'd die," he replied. "The venom wouldn't turn us to one of you, but would poison us instead. Slowly. It would take a long time, but eventually we'd die from it."

Edward nodded. "Good, good," he mumbled, eliciting several raised eyebrows from the family. He looked distracted, and Bella realized he must be listening to Jacob's runaway thoughts when he continued on. "So your tribe's stories document this?"

Startled for a second, Jacob replied quickly nonetheless (though visibly annoyed at the invasion of his mind). "Yes. It happened once as far as we know. A pack member was bitten. The venom messed with his system. He didn't always heal right when injured after that. As time went on, his control over phasing got worse and worse. He got sick a lot. And eventually, he was hurt really badly and never healed. He died."

"Is that what they're trying to do?" Leah demanded. "Is that why she tried to bite Seth?!"

Edward shook his head. "Not exactly. Ok, so biting a phased wolf wouldn't do any good short term. But...what would happen if one of you were bitten... _before_ you phased for the first time?"

That caught everyone off guard. They looked to Jacob, who himself was looking to Leah and Seth as if trying to communicate even though they couldn't in these forms.

"I...I don't know," Jacob finally said.

"I see..." Carlisle looked off into the distance as he pondered what he knew of wolf physiology. "Their genes are dormant until the first phasing. If they're bitten before that happens, then..."

"Then _what?!_ " Leah shouted. "What the hell are you all talking about?"

"They're looking for future wolves-to-be," Bella said finally. The conclusion to all this was painfully obvious. "They want to turn them to vampires _before_ they phase. What do they think they'll be? Super vampires slash wolves?"

Edward nodded. "Victoria is convinced that if she bites someone right before they're about to transform, they'll retain some of their would-be wolf characteristics. That's why-"

"That's why she's been running through the rez without hurting anyone," Jacob caught on. "She's spreading her scent. Trying to accelerate things."

"And vampires can detect when one of you is about to shift for the first time," Bella told Jacob. "She'll strike when their scent comes close to matching the rest of yours."

Jacob stood still with this new information, trying to process. "But why? If she wanted to make an army, couldn't she just do that a lot faster with normal humans?"

"She could," Edward said. "But creating a newborn army is prohibited. The Volturi would swarm the area and even she's not that stupid. She knows it wouldn't end well for her. However, a newborn army comprising of would-be shapeshifters would-"

"It would make her a favorite with the Volturi," Carlisle finished. "They hate your kind, though I think it's the children of the moon they truly despise. Caius has had then hunted to near extinction. He wouldn't appreciate the difference between you and them. Ending your existence by turning your line into Vampires-that would be quite the coup...if it works."

"It also has the added bonus of most likely stirring tensions between us and the tribe to the point of breaking the treaty," Edward added. "If one of their own were to be turned, would the tribe honor any goodwill between us?"

"No," Jacob said immediately. "Even the council would approve of hostility. I can't even imagine..."

"It would be complete chaos," Alice said. "We'd be fighting on every front."

"And Victoria would have a clear shot at getting to Bella."

Everyone except Bella snapped their heads at Edward, who shrugged in mock surprise.

"Oh come on, this can't come as a total surprise," he said and looked to Bella. "That's the real reason she's doing all this. She's stacking the deck in her favor so she could get to Bella, the person who killed her mate."

Esme and Alice, the vampires closest in proximity to Bella, moved even closer as if to shield her from an invisible foe. "Well, we'll just have to stop her then," Esme said earnestly.

Outwardly, Bella nodded. _Yeah, right_ , she thought to herself. How would they do that if they couldn't cross into La Push territory?

508\. 509. 510... How many more would there be? How many more would there _fucking_ be?!

* * *

**Today, continued:**

"Seriously, is cooking her superpower? Cause I'd totally believe that."

Bella laughed as she dumped the remnants of the meal into the garbage. Esme was proving herself an excellent ambassador for making nice with the wolves. Seth was smitten. Jacob was all smiles for the woman whenever they interacted. And Leah, Jacob confided in her, was finding it too difficult to maintain her bad girl attitude in the face of Esme's neverending generosity.

"Next time you guys do a treaty, maybe you could give up some ground in exchange for some of Esme's cooking," Bella joked.

He chuckled, looking wistfully at the empty containers in front of him. "To think, they all really think she's a monster..."

He was talking about the other pack. He was talking about himself not so long ago when the name Esme Cullen meant nothing more than 'dangerous bloodsucker.' It seemed a lifetime ago.

"You talk to your dad?" She asked, feeling the conversation shift and choosing not to fight it.

"Yeah. This morning," he said grimly. "It doesn't look good Bells. He thinks Sam is maneuvering with the tribe to vote him and Sue out of the council. There'll be nothing he can do for us if that happens."

At Jacob's urging, Billy and Sue tried to explain Edward's discovery (without revealing how said discovery was made) to the La Push pack, but either they didn't believe the information or simply refused to believe its source. The tribe's stories didn't mention anything about a bite before the first phasing, only the venom's poisonous effect, and so Jacob's 'outlandish' warning was written off as a desperate attempt to make reparations. Nevermind that Jacob, Leah, and Seth had absolutely no desire to repair anything with Sam.

"I don't want to find out what a canine vampire looks like," Jaco said carefully.

She looked at him. He was looking right back at her. The change in Jacob since becoming Alpha was truly a sight to behold. His appearance hadn't changed, technically. But at the same time it had. Responsibility for other people's lives reflected differently in different people. For Jacob, you could see it in the slow way he now spoke. Careful and measured. Like he was afraid of saying the wrong thing. Like there was a biographer following him around taking notes for a critical analysis of his leadership. You could also see it how he interacted with his pack mates. Leah and Seth were family to him now. They looked up to him and he had to protect them at all costs. Protect them...and protect their creed. With the close interactions between them and the Cullens, that creed was more and more starting to include protecting the Cullens as well.

"The Cullens can't step onto La Push. You know that," she replied just as carefully. She thought she knew what he was thinking, but she'd be damned if she said it first.

He nodded. "But I can. And...you can."

Bella sighed. If Rosalie was here and she heard this, she'd come crashing through the door and say no, no, fuck hell, no. But Rosalie wasn't here.

"Tell me what you're thinking," she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I know, I know. This has taken forever and I'm very sorry for that. It's been a very difficult month. 3 days after the last chapter was posted, my 19-year-old cousin passed away suddenly from a heart defect. Needless to say, I had a few things on my mind. Death is truly a thief in the night. Most of the people that knew him found comfort in religion but I'm not so lucky. Respecting different beliefs aside, I can't convince myself that "the dead are in a better place" or "he's with God now" because darcythe2nd's head says that's complete bullshit. A great kid is gone for absolutely no reason. And that really fucking sucks. I've been enraged and mad as hell about this, and only lately have gotten better basically by compartmentalizing and just not thinking about any of it. So yeah...this is why it took so long to update. Sorry.
> 
> Please, please review. Take a second to write constructive criticism or what you like/don't like about the latest development. Reviews are magical cures to melancholy. And they make it easier to keep my head in the story, and that means it's easier to write and update faster. Seriously. Take a moment and know much I'll appreciate it.


	80. Freefall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
> 
> Authors note I: Soundtrack for this chapter is "We Move Lightly" by Dustin O'Halloran.

Surveying the world from fourteen thousand feet up, Bella experienced a momentary sense of tranquility. She was so high up, the curvature of the earth was visible without needing to strain her peripheral vision. It was just before dawn. The horizon to the east teased the anyone who would look with its tinted sky. She was below the cloud bank but so close to it her skin and clothes were quickly growing damp from the moisture in the air. The world stood waiting below her feet.

This high up the wind lashed at her forcibly. She could easily cocoon herself and protect herself from its abuse but she didn't. It was nice to feel something, even if it hurt like hell.

Her ability to suspend herself in midair was a fist with an iron grip. Gently, she pried a finger one at a time until, without ceremony, the last one came loose and she plummeted to the earth.

She had 30 seconds.

Everything had changed. Rosalie either wasn't coming back or...what? She'd come back back and everything would go back to normal? She'd come back and they'd go on as before? Rosalie standing still in time while she aged?

25 seconds.

Bella couldn't blame her. Not really. If their positions were switched she'd feel slighted too. She'd feel the pain just as keenly as she felt the burns. But...no. No! Rosalie shouldn't have run like that. She broke her promise. She disappeared without giving her a chance to explain her side. And no matter how much it hurt, Bella was _right_. She had logic and truth on her side. She. Was. Right.

20 seconds.

Her desperation for a sight of Rosalie, for just a word from her morphed into anger. The emotion was a constant companion these days, flitting in and out unexpectedly and taking over her soul.

15 seconds.

She thought back to her first phone call to Charlie sixteen months ago. It was hopes for a future that inspired and instigated that call. Her future...what a loaded word. It wasn't something she ever thought of all those years alone. A future implied plans. It implied taking steps and building something...making something out of yourself. What on earth was she thinking, imagining such a thing for herself? She giggled, bitter amusement lacing her voice. The sound of it left her lungs and drifted away by the swirling, rushing wind.

10 seconds.

Jacob's plan to stop Victoria was a good one. But it had its risks. Bella, however found that she didn't care. Not even a little. There would be an _altercation_ with the other pack. Someone could get hurt. _She_ would most likely do the hurting. And still, she didn't care. Jacob was a friend-she didn't want him to come to harm. Leah and Seth were his packmates, and by virtue of that Bella would do all she could to protect them. But the more Bella thought of Sam or Paul or Jared getting in her way...getting sliced open with a razor sharp jut of her wind, or burning so hot they melted before they had the chance to act...the more apathy filled her. The thought of that disturbed her, and yet at the same time, it didn't. Her darkest self wanted to do these thing. Her best self was horrified and repelled by them. And together the two somehow...cancelled each other out.

5 seconds.

She didn't feel anything anymore.

4 seconds.

She didn't care.

3 seconds.

Rosalie's face shimmered across her consciousness. Her chest ached. Then a flare of anger burst though, and the ache disappeared.

2 seconds.

There is no future for her.

1 second.

And then it was over. Bella opened her eyes as if waking from a dream. A recurring dream with the same outcome every time. She was 95 feet from the ground, a little lower than the last time, and a little lower than the time before. And the time before. And the time before.

And the time before.

* * *

Few memories transcended the bridge from human to Vampire. That was always the way of it. Eternity is a long time. To be mired down by the finite nature of humans' sense of time would be unbearable. Whoever or whatever was ultimately responsible for Vampires' existence got it right; the most important memories passed the cut...and the others stayed behind, dying little by little until the last human who might remember dies too.

Rosalie's human memories were just what you'd expect from her. She remembered her last night as clearly as if it were yesterday. She remembered her friend, Vera, and the happiness she managed to make for herself with her family. She remembered confidence; not the reasons behind it but the emotion itself. She had always been sure of herself. Sure of her future. She was Rosalie Hale. It didn't matter if she was human or vampire. Rosalie Hale always knew who she was and what she was made of.

Except now, nearly 100 years after her birth, Rosalie didn't know anything anymore.

Her nostrils flared. A scent she was supposed to relish slowly took over until this side of the mountain was awash in it. A mountain lion. The sound of its blood and the footsteps that accompanied it rushed in her ears.

Emmett came into view with the dead animal slung over his back. He dropped the creature directly in front of her. Its eyes, wide open and looking as empty as Rosalie felt, stared unblinking into the black sky.

Her husband had no patience. "Drink."

Her mouth wetted itself with venom. She stayed still.

With one hand, Emmett dragged the lion to her until its punctured neck was an inch from her mouth. This close, she had no hope of control. She snarled in anger but leaned in and attacked the creature, draining it dry in what felt like seconds.

Emmett leaned back and watched her get her fill. His face was expressionless, but he had one hand behind Rosalie's back, always ready to catch her in case she fell.

"Don't give me that look," he muttered when her eyes flashed in his direction. "You needed to eat. It's been weeks."

She stayed silent. She hadn't moved her lips in weeks; why start now? Come to think of it, she hadn't moved whatsoever in weeks. Carlisle told her stories of Vampires from thousands of years ago who could keep from moving for years...hundreds and thousands of years. She had rolled her eyes, not really buying that one could keep still for that long. But after nearly a month of deathly stillness, Rosalie could believe it. Why would she move her body when her mind was running so fast? She was a stony figure on this ledge on the mountain...so much so that these last weeks her body was beginning to show signs of petrifying.

Emmett watched her, his face clouded with indecision as it had been since all of this started. Normally he'd be content leaving Rosalie to her own devices till whatever set her off healed itself. Normally he'd have let her cool off by herself and waited for her to come home.

But these were not normal times.

"We need to go back, Rose."

Rosalie heard his voice. She heard the care and the uncertainty in it. Acknowledgement came in the form of a slow blink.

Go back to what? Go back to a dying girl?

"She'll change her mind. We can change her mind."

Bella is the most stubborn person Rosalie's ever known. She'll never change her mind. Emmett can have his dreams, but Rosalie couldn't partake in them. They could talk her ears off. They could beg until they bled. They could throw logic, passion and love at her. Bella wouldn't have refused her the way she did if there was room for negotiation.

And Rosalie knew…

When she thought back to every time they brushed over the topic of 'the future', she knew that Bella had tensed. In hindsight she saw the pain in her eyes. She saw her resolve. She saw her dread for when the topic would finally graduate from sidestepping hints into real conversation. What a fool Rosalie was. What an utterly blind fool.

She had been so wrapped up in her own issues. In the span of a year Rosalie had had to force herself to reconcile with what she was when nothing had succeeded in 80 years. It took a year but she did it. She did it for Bella. And though it came years and years too late, she did it for Emmett too.

"We're wasting time out here, Rose. We should be with her."

Time was ticking. Time was counting down. Tick tock, tick tock. Bella was going to die. This was fact. Certain, undeniable fact. She's had Emmett for 80 years. How long would she get with Bella?

In her life, Rosalie has had to adapt to a lot. She learned how to cope after a brutal gang rape that left her dying in the street. She learned to love and find some measure of happiness after it happened. She learned to stop hating Carlisle for changing her. She learned that she was capable of opening her heart and her marriage...of loving two people equally with every fiber of her being.

But it looked like the true test lay down the road. Everything that happened before was nothing compared to what was about to happen.

Bella dying one day was a fact. The other fact: Rosalie was going to have to learn how to live without Bella. The question is, should she wait until Bella actually died? Or should she cut her losses, prevent further heartbreak, and start living without her now?

* * *

Jacob and Bella weaved through the houses on Spruce Street. Only a few hundred people lived in La Push, and of those, only a few dozen were of the right age to warrant a visit from them. The number would be even smaller if Bella hadn't insisted they check on the girls.

"You can't keep ignoring Leah's gender," Bella reminded him. "I doubt she'll be the last girl to shift."

Jacob rolled his eyes but agreed without further comment. And so the two of them flew silently through the night. Jacob's knowledge of La Push guided them while Bella kept their scents from leaving their bodies.

The first part of Jacob's plan was simple enough. Victoria was waiting for someone to start shifting. She was waiting and planning to bite them right before it happened. In order for them to prevent this from happening, Jacob and Bella first needed to know who would need protecting, hence the clandestine scouting mission.

"Over there," Jacob whispered, pointing to a split level in desperate need of roofing repairs. "Eric and Miley. Eric's my age and I think Miley's a year younger."

Bella nodded and glided them down lower until they were right on top of one of the windows.

"Here goes," she said. She lifted her hands from her waist and slowly raised them up. At the same time, the air from inside the house lifted up, outside the window, and into Jacob's nose. The hand gestures were nothing more than theatrics for Jacob's benefit, but they served to alert him when her magic (or so how Jacob referred to it) was underway.

"Ugh," Jacob wrinkled his nose. "I hate curry. Nope. No wolves-to-be here."

When he explained his plan to her, Jacob was surprised she didn't question the main premise of it. He thought she'd think he was crazy, but of course he kept forgetting that Bella was no stranger to the supernatural. The premise was this: anyone showing signs of coming down with a case of wolf should be very easy for a current wolf to detect. He remembered the strange looks Sam kept giving him when he was on the verge of phasing...how he seemed to be waiting for him. When he finally shifted, he understood that the other wolves could somehow sense his impending transformation. Well now he was a wolf himself, and he needed to find those who were about to transform.

Bella nodded in understanding as soon as he explained his idea to her. Of course, she knew for a fact that a person with the gene _did_ smell distinctive. The Cullens could sense Jacob's impending shift long before he actually shifted. That was a fact. The only question in today's wolf detecting mission was whether Jacob's nose was as good as the Vampires'.

"Next house," he grumbled.

Two hours and 61 houses later, they had their answer. Jacob detected slight wolf smells from three different people. For two of them, the scent was just starting to appear. They guessed it would be weeks before they shifted.

But there was one boy who didn't have that long.

Jacob's eyes widened when he got a whiff of his old friend, Quill. "The force is strong with this one," he whispered to Bella.

"How long does he have Obi-Wan?" Bella asked, wondering if they were certifiable for making jokes at a time like this.

"I don't know," he said softly. "The fever hasn't set in. My guess is she'd want to do it when that happens. He'll smell a lot more like the rest of us then. But...he's close."

She nodded. She could see Quill in his room playing videogames. The catch in Jacob's voice had to be stemming from his sadness for his friend. Even without Victoria and Laurent complicating everything, this kid's life was about to change and if you asked Jacob, not for the better.

"Jake, I think we should take him now. We might not get another chance."

He looked at Quill, thinking long and hard but his resolve stayed true. "No," he shook his head. "We have to at least try. We have something concrete to bring to Sam now. Protecting him is something they _can_ do."

For all his bravado coming out here, Jacob didn't want to antagonize Sam and his pack any further. Everything he had done thus far was one thing. Kidnapping a future wolf was something else entirely. He still had hope that he and Sam could see eye to eye.

As for Bella, she had no such foolish hopes. Things were going to get very, very ugly...especially since she was about to have a formal meet and greet with Sam's pack. Again, Bella found herself in a strangely numb place. The next part of Jacob's plan should have her worried for their safety. Yet...nothing. She should definitely be worried for _the pack's_ safety. Again, nothing. They're human beings. They're people. Nothing. Esme and Carlisle are gonna be mad as hell.

Nothing.

Nothing.

...Nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note II: I appreciate everyone's well wishes from last chapter. And I truly, seriously, so very much appreciate the exceptional reviews many of you take the time to write. You guys are the closest I come to talking to an actual editor. I get tunnel vision sometimes and getting your perspective often goes a long way to giving me a fresh take on things. You'd be surprised how often in depth feedback has forced me to rethink some angle of the story and completely change something. I hope to see more of them!


	81. High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

How uncomfortable could a gathering of vampires get? Pretty darn uncomfortable if those gathering were the remaining members of the Cullen coven. There was Carlisle, whose logical and slow approach to everything was not making any inroads with the problems befalling the family. Esme, whose desire to see her children back together conflicted with her fury for having to put up with two of them leaving in the first place. Edward, who spent more and more of his time idly playing a game of "life without Bella" in which he imagined what that particular day would've been like had Bella never walked into their lives. Jasper, who sometimes felt like he was the only one able to appreciate the big picture. And last but not least, Alice, who supposedly possessed the gift of foresight but was unable to see past her own nose when it came to the problem in discussion now.

"I understand how you feel, Jasper, but this kind of thing doesn't get determined by a vote. She's already decided."

Jasper, in a display of human childishness impishly folded his arms and glared at his father. Beside him, Alice just sighed and silently counted to 10.

"We can't force her to-"

"You're not even trying!" Jasper threw up his hands as he shouted. "You're not trying _at all_."

"What would you have us do?" Esme asked. "She made her decision."

"It's the wrong decision," Jasper insisted. "What should you _do_? What I've been doing! Help me talk to her. Help me convince her!"

A rare moment of clarity followed in which Alice got a glimpse of the near future. Those puppies must be off somewhere chasing a ball or something. What she saw caused her to grimace, and she tightened her hold over Jasper's hand in preparation.

"You know just as well as I do that Bella has a valid point," Carlisle stated plainly. "There's no precedent for someone like her! Turning her might have severe consequences!"

Just as she knew would happen, Jasper's emotions spiked to new heights sending everyone present into an uncomfortable emotional rollercoaster.

"Honey, please," she whispered so only he would hear.

"Say something!" He whispered furiously to her after he calmed himself down a degree.

"You know I can't," she replied sadly. What could she say? Ever since she and Jasper found them, her family had looked to her to assuage their fears. Over the years, few obstacles have every trumped Edward's and her combined skills. But Bella was immune to Edward's gift, and was practically immune to Alice's too as of late. And though she loathed to think of Bella as an obstacle or "problem," the fact remained that Bella was the biggest question mark the family had ever dealt with.

"You're the one who helped her!" Jasper cried out. "You're the one who got her to control it. You know firsthand how strong she is!"

"Overcoming vampire impulses will be orders of magnitude more difficult than anything she's done," Edward said. "I don't see why we should convince her to do something that'll put us in even more danger. Not to mention the people she'll end up killing. Not to mention _she doesn't want it!_ "

"You have _no idea_ how much self-control she already exercises! It's orders of magnitude _worse_ than anything _you've_ ever had to deal with, Edward!"

"So we want to take all that difficulty and all that power and put it inside the body of an _immortal?"_ Edward seethed. "An immortal who on top of probably causing dormant volcanoes to spontaneously erupt, will also have an appetite for people's blood?!"

"There's no going back if she's ever turned," he continued. "She controls the only thing that can kill us. If she goes on a murdering rampage, even the Volturi won't be able to get rid of her."

"Enough!" Esme stood and faced her eldest son. "Bella hasn't led us down so far. I don't care what the odds are-she's family and that worst case scenario isn't going to happen."

Edward moved to protest but she blocked him with a stern look. She turned to Jasper next. "I don't want to see her die either. I'd give anything if we could convince her to join us and I'd do the honors myself if she'd let me. But we can't pressure her! The decision has to be hers and hers alone."

Jasper, stony faced and clearly not happy with the result of this impromptu meeting, took off out the sliding glass door. "Fine. It'll just be Alice and me then," he called before disappearing.

Finally out of range, the family took a collective breath as the mood in the room tapered without Jasper's influence.

Carlisle had a desperate look about him as he turned to Alice. "Do you see anything?"

She shook her head. "Nothing in Bella's future."

"What about-"

"Rosalie hasn't made a decision," she said. Her voice carried a modicum of anger she didn't bother to hide. Alice knew what decisions her sister was teeter-tottering between, and if she made the wrong one Alice promised herself she'd personally donate all the blonde's clothes to Goodwill. Or better yet, she'd get their resident wolves to pee on all of them. And her cars.

Rosalie better decide something soon. Bella doesn't have forever.

"Where are the kids?" Esme asked from behind a mountain of food on the kitchen counter. Gross.

Alice rolled her eyes. " _I_ certainly can't tell you," she huffed. As if Bella and her infuriating talent at blocking her weren't enough. It turns out the canines too are naturally immune to her formerly awesome gift. Their presence on their property made seeing anything as likely as spotting a unicorn (a mythical creature that, according to Carlisle anyway, _really is_ a storybook fantasy).

"Probably terrorizing stray cats," she mumbled.

And where the hell is Bella anyway?

* * *

"Ready?"

Bella looked back to where Jacob stood, one step from the treaty line. His eyes were on the ground, as if he alone could see the dividing line that would put him, at last, in his tribe's territory.

She was already across the line. To be frank the whole thing felt anticlimactic. A childish part of her expected wolves to fall from the trees above and attack them. God knows she was psyched for a good fight. Now, without anyone in her line of sight, she was just a tightly wound machine gun ready and desperate to spring.

Jacob finally took the step after he latched onto Bella's offered hand.

"When did you get so damn cautious?" She joked as they continued on.

He smiled knowingly. "When did you become such an adrenaline junkie?"

"Huh?"

"I can practically smell it," he nodded and pointed to her heart. "And your heart rate is going a mile a minute. Somebody's excited."

She punched him lightly-well, not that lightly-in the arm. "It's not everyday I get to fight werewolves."

"Bells," he stopped walking and forced her to turn to him. "We're not here to pick a fight. It might come to that, but we're here to talk."

"Yeah," she muttered, embarrassed at her poor choice of words and angry that it was so obvious how much she actually wanted things to escalate. "I know that."

"Remember," he said softly. "The best case scenario today is that they agree to watch out for Quil _and_ they decide you're not a threat. Don't forget that."

She bit her lip but nodded. _We're not here to fight. We're not here to fight._ She chanted the words all through their walk deeper and deeper into La Push territory. It was cool in the woods but humid, the early morning fog giving their world a creepy, bluish grey ambiance that would probably give most people the creeps.

"How's your sight out here?"

"Not much better than yours," Jacob replied. They trudged on, careful not to make noise that would be perceived as threatening. Not that they could confidently assess what sounded nonthreatening…

Twenty minutes of silence later, he stopped in his tracks and held up his hand.

"They're coming."

"How do you-"

"Shh...listen."

Bella could've smacked herself. _Duh_. Immediately she asked the wind for help. As soon as she did, she heard them too. Heavy footsteps-animal, not human-ripped the earth apart. They were coming from the north, and they were on top of them before Bella could finish a thought.

Long used to their resident wolves, Bella wasn't in the least bit shocked by the sight of three SUV sized canines barreling in her direction. What she wasn't accustomed to was how, well, for lack of better words, _feral_ these wolves acted. They were all growling quite loudly and fur stuck up on their necks. One of them was even literally foaming in the mouth.

It wasn't lost on Bella that the three quickly maneuvered so she and Jacob were surrounded. She had to resist rolling her eyes. _Play nice_ , she reminded herself.

"Hello, Sam," Jacob greeted the biggest, black one directly in front of them. He held out his hands. "We're here to talk."

Jacob may have been the one speaking, but it was Bella commanding all the wolves' attention. Sam, the only one in her line of sight, was staring right into her eyes. His growling did _not_ cease.

Jacob sighed impatiently and stepped half in front of Bella. He raised his voice. "We have information that can help you. But we need to talk."

For a second Bella thought they'd have to spell it out for him. But a few tense minutes later, Sam finally reappeared human after disappearing into some thick foliage to get decent.

"You have some nerve showing up here," Sam spat when he reappeared. "And you bring _that_ with you?"

"I don't recall either of us signing a treaty that prevented us from crossing the line," Jacob said coolly. While she knew Jacob dodging the insult to her was good in the long run, Bella nonetheless ticked off a tally in her mind, noting yet another stupendously stupid thing that's come out of Sam's mouth.

"You're practically one of them now. As far as I'm concerned you're not ever welcome on this land."

"I'm _not_ one of them," Jacob said, the first hint of anger in his voice. "And luckily, you don't get to run the pack _and_ the council. I'm-"

Sam interrupted. "What do you want?"

Bella reached out a hand and touched Jacob's arm to prevent him from going off, though in truth she was having trouble containing herself.

"We came to help you."

 _You rabid dog_ , Bella mentally added.

"We don't need your goddamn help!" Sam shouted. "We can protect our-"

"You _do_ need our goddamn help!" Jacob roared back. "In case you haven't noticed, I took half your pack from you! You couldn't hold the nomads off with six of us, and now you're down to three. So shut up and for once in your life, _listen_ , and maybe we can all make it through the next few days!"

Bella hiccupped to hide her snigger, but oh how grateful she felt for her perfect memory as she snapped a mental picture of Sam's fish-mouthed face. Even the dogs ceased their constant rumble.

"Victoria's waiting for someone to start showing signs of phasing," Jacob said right away. He might as well make his point now while Sam stood there gaping. "Quill's next, isn't he?"

Sam snapped out of his stupor. "What? How did you know that?"

Balla couldn't resist. "Oh we just came back from his place," she finally spoke. Her voice was high with more than a little mockery. "And every other teenager's house in La Push."

Ok, flaunting her ability to totally screw him was probably not the best way to go about what was supposed to be a diplomatic meeting. But Bella had kept her mouth shut up until then and really, watching a vein pop in his neck would be well worth any fallout, she was sure.

Jacob cleared his throat, once again taking advantage of Sam's speechlessness. "His scent is the strongest. We're pretty sure Victoria will target him, and that it's going to happen soon."

"So you might wanna give him a heads up about all this. And keep him on a short leash. Figuratively speaking."

She pointedly ignored Jacob's weary glance and instead kept her gaze fixed on Sam. Because just then, for the first time today Sam's human eyes looked straight into hers. And then something shifted on his face as his eyes darted from hers and to one of the wolves.

...And then all hell broke loose.

Before Bella could even think _you've gotta be kidding me_ , Jared and Paul, the two wolves flanking them, launched themselves right at her.

And just as she saw the shift on Sam's face that the wolves understood to mean _attack_ , so too did she feel the shift within herself, the shift that gave way, giving her body and her mind permission to uncoil and spread.

A circle of bright blue fire unfurled from her feet and widened, stretched and continued growing out from Bella's place. In its wake lay dead grass that when toppled by a breeze broke into white ash. The circle grew until Jacob was standing inside it too. Then Sam. In the span of half a second, a circle of desolated death ten feet in diameter encompassed them all. And a split second before Paul and Jared's claws could touch her, a mere hair away from her skin, they froze in midair.

Sam was frozen too, but of his own accord.

"Bella?" Jacob whispered, fear lacing his voice. "What the hell...what are you doing?!"

"That," she said calmly though her heart was pounding, "is what happens when you're foolish enough to attack me. Your face gave it away, Sam. Next time, work on the element of surprise."

Jacob's expression slowly morphed from shock to fury as he turned to Sam. "You ordered them to attack her?! She's a human being you son of a bitch!"

Sam shook his head. His eyes travelled from his frozen comrades to the blanket of ash under his feet. "No."

His voice shook. "No," he said more firmly. "That's not human. No way. No way."

One man's trash really is another's treasure. Sam was trembling, as pale as the emptiness that was a moment ago food for her fire. After the initial explosion, Bella tuned the flames to a much lower, gentler level. They were practically caressing the ground now, rolling just centimetres out at a time, still devouring the earth but sensually rather than with brute force. It was beautiful. Watching the hoop unfurl nearly brought tears to her eyes. But there was Sam, looking like hell had just frozen over. And she suddenly felt a stab of anger at this person who failed to appreciate what was right in front of him. No one was hurt, yet he still couldn't understand the wild beauty of what Bella could do.

He has eyes but he won't see. He doesn't see the frailness in the fire. He doesn't see the decency in Jacob. He doesn't see anything worse saving in her.

"Fuck you," she said. "How's this for human?"

Jared and Paul were suddenly and unceremoniously lifted from their mid-air lunge, higher and higher and higher.

"Bella..." Jacob moaned in dismay, but she didn't stop until none of them could see the wolves' figures anymore.

"I don't really care what you think, Sam," she said coldly. "But we need to get back to the matter at hand. Paul and Jared are in free fall right now, and if I'm feeling _human_ , I might just stop them from splattering all over you. Now are you gonna protect Quill, and any other future pack members, or not?"

Sam looked from her to Jacob, his eyes burning with anger. "You're letting her negotiate for you too? Fuck, man. Your mom is probably rolling in her grave."

Jacob flinched but did not relent. "She won't hurt them," he said softly, referring to the skydiving wolves above them. "We can help you. Bella and I can help keep watch over him. Leah and Seth too."

"For the last time, we don't _need_ anything from you. It's _our_ pack. _Our_ land. We can protect our own. We won't let Quill out of our sights." He looked at Bella, his face a swirling mix of utter loathing and fear. "And she _is not_ welcome, treaty or no treaty."

Jared and Paul screeched to a halt directly in front of him. Sam blinked in surprise, surreptitiously double checking that the pair were indeed still breathing.

Jacob nodded slowly as if two wolves didn't just fall from the sky. But there was something else gnawing at him, something he just had to get out into the light. "And what if you fail?" He asked. Bella looked at him, wondering where he was going with this. "What if they bite him and he really does become one of them?"

Though until now Sam had been adamantly in denial of this possibility, he couldn't hide the spark of fear that shone from his eyes. "The tribe doesn't tolerate leeches," he finally said. "No _human,"_ he sneered at Bella, "should."

* * *

The meeting concluded with Bella and Jacob flying away from the scene after Bella thawed the two wolves (and purposefully banged their heads together a few times).

"You shouldn't have done all that," Jacob said when they landed far away from the treaty line. "I don't think they'll ever accept you now."

"I don't need them to!" Bella said. Her body may be on the ground, but some part of her was still soaring in the clouds, high as a kite. Sam's nastiness aside, that was the most fun she'd had in weeks. "No offense Jake, but I didn't even break a sweat."

Jacob walked with her quietly. She was so abuzz with energy she barely noticed the sidelong glances he stole her way, or the silence that was an opportunity to happily replay the confrontation for her, but was wrought with discomfort for him.

"You sent them the message, right?" Bella asked as she whirled around, suddenly remembering their careful plan.

Jacob nodded, but couldn't help smiling. "It's a good thing that was my job and not yours. Yeah, as soon as they attacked you."

As soon as Jacob realized Sam ordered an attack, he also realized they couldn't trust such a sensitive situation as possible wolf-vampire hybrids to people like Sam, Paul and Jared. Their minds were too small, and this was just too big. So while Sam was staring up at the disappearing outlines of his friends in the sky, he sent a one-worded text message ("go") to Leah, who had been waiting with Seth right outside Quill's front door. Sam's answer to his last question cinched it for him.

"We should go help, shouldn't we?" Bella asked. "Make sure everything goes smoothly?"

He looked at the time on his phone. Leah was supposed to call when they were out of La Push with Quill. There was still plenty of time. But Bella was probably right. And though he didn't want to admit it, Bella outclassed the wolves by a terrifying margin. If something were to go wrong, he'd want her by his, and by Leah's and Seth's side.

"Ok," he agreed. "But no dropping people from the sky, ok?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note I: So...do we like or do we no like where Bella is currently at? What she did to Jared and Paul-was that torture? Was she justified? What do you think of Carlisle's argument? Edward's? Jasper and Alice's?
> 
> Author's note II: I understand and totally sympathize with how difficult it is to wait for updates, especially now that chapters are coming out every couple-3 weeks vs. every few days like they used to. I truly am sorry that I can't do that anymore. The story has gotten much more complex than what it used to be, and that means a lot more pressure and a lot more difficulty getting things just right. That said, it's a lot easier to push updates out faster when I'm completely immersed in Gifted's plot, and I'm completely immersed in Gifted's plot when...you guessed it...you review! Constructive criticism, your thoughts about what might happen next or what you wish would happen or won't happen, analysis...these are the things that keep me on my toes and force me to contemplate the next words extra hard. It's the closest thing to an editor giving their feedback. I promise to work as hard as I can on the next chapter right away, and I hope to hear from lots of you.


	82. Inferno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

There was no time to waste. The sooner they retrieved Quil and got him to the relative safety of the Cullens' home, the sooner they could all take a collective breath...at least until the other La Push kids' wolf scents got stronger. Bella felt a nagging worry that maybe they should warn the Cullens before barging in with Quil, but ignored it. She couldn't think of a way to start that conversation over the phone and besides, it was too late. His home was approaching fast.

"Why are they still in there?" Jacob muttered out loud. He furrowed his eyebrows in worry and impatience.

They should have indeed been halfway to Forks by now. At the very least, they shouldn't still be in the house.

Bella didn't answer and instead accelerated until they glided through an open window on the second floor of Quil's house. A few seconds later they tumbled down the stairs, stopping only when they caught sight of a most unusual scene.

The first thing that caught their attention was the wolf in the dining room. It had Seth's coloring, and the poor thing was pacing carefully and trying not to destroy the furniture all around him in the cramped room. He did not look particularly comfortable.

"Oh crud," Jacob groaned. "Leah, let him go!"

Leah growled with vexation, for she was the second thing that caught their attention. She had her arms twisted around a boy's head in what appeared to be a very painful looking headlock. Quil gave a start at the extra unwelcome guests in his home, although he could've been crying out from suffocation.

"He won't listen!" Leah yelled and tightened her grip even more. Bella grimaced at the yelps coming from Quil. "Even after Seth phased for him, this obstinate _idiot_ just won't listen!"

The boy they were all here to rescue was going to die in Leah's grip. If the situation wasn't so tenuous it would be kind of funny.

"Bells..." Jacob started.

"Right," she agreed, stifling the choke of a laugh that had been threatening to come out. A moment later, all movement in the house ceased as Bella's power broke the struggling pair apart.

Jacob bounded for Quil who was sweating profusely. He stood straight in front of him and looked into his eyes as he spoke. "We don't have time for this," he said urgently. "Everything they told you is true. The legends are true. We're shifters, and so are you. And there are some nasty vampires who want a go at you first. We're here to help. Nod if you understand."

Bella gave Quil some control over his body so he could nod, and he did as Jacob instructed.

"Shift back," Jacob said to Seth, who scurried into another room after Bella released him to do just that.

"I gave him the same speech!" Leah grumbled in frustration. "The same fucking speech..."

Quil was leaning heavily against a wall while everyone else gathered their composure. Bella went to him when she saw how unsteady his legs were, and even helped prop him up with a strong gust of wind when he nearly tipped over.

"He doesn't look so good," she said quietly as she gave him a once-over. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing!" Leah exclaimed, her hands up in the air. "He was surprised to see us but he let us in. Seth talked about the legends. I asked him if he noticed anything odd about himself. We told him the truth. He thought we were crazy. Seth phased to prove it. He went nuts and-oh gross!"

Quil, who was turning greener by the second, finally had enough and leaned forward to wretch. He threw up his breakfast and probably yesterday's dinner too judging by the copious amount of vomit on the floor. And still his stomach heaved and heaved.

And then a slow wave of understanding, laced with horror, crept onto Jacob's face. Leah too, when she stopped wincing in disgust at the sick on the floor to look at Jacob briefly, felt the flicker of understanding.

"It's happening," she whispered. "Shit, shit, shit! It's happening!"

Bella looked between the two and tried to grasp at what she was clearly missing. "What is happening?"

"It's the sickness," Jacob said. "The last thing I remember before phasing is being sick. Sicker than I'd ever been. I had an awful fever."

She managed to put a hand on Quil's forehead in between his bouts of retching. Her eyes widened when she made contact. He was burning hot.

"We gotta go!" Seth reminded them, and rightfully so. If this was indeed the last stage before phasing...and Victoria and Laurent were waiting for the perfect time to strike...this was most certainly it.

"Bella. Now," Jacob said. "Now!"

She didn't need to be told twice. They were closest to the front door and so that's where they went. The four of them piled out, Bella in front, Jacob propping Quil up behind her, and Seth and Leah bringing up the rear.

But when Bella stepped through the door and into the break of day just across the other side, she came face to face with none other than Laurent himself.

* * *

The eyes. These eyes were just like ones that crept into her dreams. Two rubies that dripped hunger and leaked ambivalence...mocking her...laughing at her.

But they were far from the eyes that haunted her in sleep. Blood red yes, but these eyes didn't belong to a mad man. This man, this Laurent was a follower. Edward's description of him and his personality flickered through her mind as she took him in, and she felt a strange mixture of both panic _and_ disappointment. This wasn't James. Even if she killed him, it wouldn't feel half as good as it had felt before. She shook off the tangy taste of disappointment.

Killing him would still give her satisfaction.

The lighter was in her hand before she realized she'd summoned it. Its metallic plate sent shivers up her arm, and her head pounded with ever faster thrums as she swallowed her next breath.

_Fire._

Wordlessly, he dodged the fireball. Bella saw it make contact with a child's wheelbarrow and light it up. She felt herself simmering inside. Something within her was uncoiling and rearing itself, spreading out until her skin felt stretched beyond imagining.

Another spray of fire shot out of her hand. It left her body and Bella felt its movement in the air as if it were her own arm. She felt it whipping and lashing, grab onto a mailbox pole and disintegrate it an inch from where Laurent had jumped.

She hummed with energy. The power leaving her body was so strong she could hear it pounding in her ears. All other noise, including the shouts of people behind her, dimmed until the vibrations in her head were the only things Bella could feel.

That, and revulsion for the smiling vampire in front of her.

"Bella!"

She stepped into the path her raging inferno carved for her. Laurent never stood in one place for more than a split second. Bella couldn't see him, but to her surprise she felt more elated than frustrated. This was so much more challenging than the pathertic wolves. Her powers felt like stretching muscles aching for a real opponent. On the one hand she wanted to destroy the blur racing around her. But on the other hand if she did, then it would be over too soon.

And she was just starting to have fun.

"Bella, he's shifting! Get us out of here!"

She ignored Jake's cry and focused more fully on the whirlwind that was Laurent careening around her. The inferno protected her and her wolves. She could afford to take the time to fish for Laurent.

Unfortunately it didn't take long for all of them to realize the gaping hole in their rear. In their rush to leave the house with the ailing Quil, and the moments of panic and the ensuing fight with Laurent, they all forgot that the wooden house behind them was no protection against a vampire.

Materializing through pulverized drywall, insulation and miles of wiring, Victoria appeared with only the crunching noise of destruction for a warning. Two things happened right then. The first was that Laurent slowed down enough for the wind to alert Bella of the change. She immediately latched on, freezing him in his tracks.

The second thing that happened was Victoria securing herself to a half shifted Quil and biting him squarely on the neck.

She slowed down enough for Bella to get a good look at her, and the redhead returned her gaze. A snarl escaped Victoria's lips followed by a cocky smile that was gone, along with the woman herself, before anyone could react.

Quil's screams pierced the stunned silence. Jake immediately threw himself onto the boy, who was thrashing so much that Seth and Leah's grips on him had loosened.

"Quil! Can you hear me?" Jacob implored. "Finish the shift! I need you to finish the shift!"

If he could hear, they could not tell. Quil continued to scream in agony, his body not recognizable as human or wolf, but some abominable thing in between. He was not changing any which way. Leah and Seth looked on in horror as the possibility of Quil's fate dawned on them-that this may be Quil's everlasting future.

Victoria was gone again, and Bella, shaken at what she had just witnessed, trembled with rage. Victoria was out of reach yet again, but this time at least she had a consolation prize.

Bella turned to look at the immobile Laurent. His former relaxed face was now etched with fear at his predicament. Victoria made no effort to rescue him. She was never, both he and Bella now understood, ever going to save him.

And there would be no saving him from Bella.

Her hands shook in anticipation as she stroked the lighter in her palm. She stepped forward until they were mere inches apart, then brought forth a curtain of hellfire that veiled them both from view.

* * *

The fire obscuring Bella and Laurent was so hot that Leah's eyes continued to burn even after she and Seth transformed to help Jacob. Jacob had already earlier opted for the stronger form, and it seemed for a while that the three of them together may succeed in holding Quil down.

What then, she had to wonder. They needed to get him off the reservation. The Atearas' property was remote, but no way could they any longer avoid attracting attention with this raucous, not to mention those damn flames. Carlisle would be able to help, she thought reluctantly, thinking of the stalled transformation of the still screaming boy. But it was miles from here to the Cullens' home. How would they get Quil there?

'Help me!'

The unfamiliar voice cut into her thoughts, and Leah looked at Quil in horror.

'Oh my god,' Seth sounded like he might cry.

Jacob, whose wolf form couldn't disguise the shock that Quil was coherent enough (and wolf enough) for his telepathic consciousness to seep through to them, quickly tried to get through to him.

'Quil, it's Jacob. Can you hear us?'

Amid the screams, Leah made out, 'What's happening? Fuck, fuck it hurts!' from the thrashing boy.

Quil whimpered helplessly and Leah wished she could think of something to say that would help.

'I know you're in a lot of pain, buddy, but I need you to try to calm down. Can you walk on your own?'

Quil's hysterics continued. Now and again, she caught a high pitched whimper emanating from his shifted vocal cords. If anything, his pain seemed to worsen.

'I don't think he can hear us, Jake,' said Leah.

'But we can hear him,' Jacob growled. 'Which means he's part of our pack. Damn it. Bella...'

He continued to wrestle with Quil without pause, but both Lean and Seth looked toward the impenetrable sphere of fire. She winced at the intensity. There was no sound or any sign of change. Without Bella, Leah loathed to admit, they were helpless to watch Quil and wait.

They should've guessed that would be too much to ask. After what felt like hours of listening to Quil scream in agony but was probably just a couple of minutes, the La Push pack arrived.

Sam's voice thundered despite his human frame. Paul and Jared bounded beside him as wolves.

"What have you done?!"

Leah watched Sam take in the scene. The house was rubble thanks to Victoria. Much of the grounds lay smoldering after Bella's brief struggle with Laurent. A small impenetrable sun hovered 20 yards from where she stood. And finally Quil, barely recognizable in the grass, writhing from the combined pain of a first shift and the fatal venom of a vampire.

"What did you do to him?"

Jacob shifted to answer. Now in addition to the aforementioned state of the Atearas' land, there were two very angry, very naked boys shouting at each other.

"Victoria beat us," Jacob said. "She bit him mid-shift."

Sam chanced a look at Quil and didn't bother to hide his horror. Quil's appearance was indeed difficult to digest. He was easily as big as Leah, but his proportions were completely off. He was like a caricature of what a wolf would be. But worse still, parts of him had not yet completed the shift so that he looked more like a Salvador Dali painting than any living creature.

"Kill it," Sam whispered to his pack mates. He at least had the decency to look remorseful.

"What?" Jacob cried. "No!"

But Paul and Jared were already charging. They yipped forward slowly. Jacob rushed back to protect Quil, shifting before standing over the quivering boy.

Leah and Seth immediately stood in formation, positioned in front of Paul and he by Jared. In a moment, Sam too had shifted and was making his way threateningly toward Jacob.

With all chances to communicate gone, the only thing left to do was fight.

Finally...

Leah did not become a violent woman until recently. A year ago, she was in love and looking forward to college. But Sam and his pack, in that short stretch of time, had ruined her simple life. Leah would not wish on her worst enemy the torment of what she had gone through. She couldn't tell you what was worse. The person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with inexplicably leaving you for your cousin? Her father passing? Her becoming a wolf protector for a tribe she had always longed to escape? Sharing her mind with Sam and all those asinine pups? Though she had found a sliver of peace with Jacob and yes, she was loath to admit even the bloodsucking Cullens, she still harbored a deep resentment towards the fates for their recent cruelties. Worse, she was angry at the short tempered, irritable person she had become-the only defense she managed to muster against the onslaught of bad tidings that plagued her existence.

Luckily, anger could be channeled, and there's no better way to accomplish that than opening a can of whoop-ass on someone.

Today that someone was Paul.

With a satisfied snarl Leah barrelled into him without hesitation. Not that she needed any more fuel for her rage, but her link to Jacob's mind afforded her fresh takes on the most recent encounter between him and Sam's pack which sent her snapping at his neck.

Encouraged by her ferocity, Seth leaped for Jared and struck him hard. He recovered and fought back almost immediately but the fight was off to a good start with Jacob's pack on the offensive despite their defensive circling around Quil.

'Nice one Leah!' she heard Seth yell after she tossed Paul into the remnants of Quil's house.

Jacob swatted at Jared, preventing him from landing a hard blow to Seth's back right leg.

'Focus Seth!' He yelled. 'Don't take your eyes off of Jared!'

Seth kept his barrage on Jared while Leah swiped, shoved, and bit Paul without pause. She almost wished for a renewed link to his mind so she could bear witness to his sorry ass taking the dishing she'd been wanting to dish for so long.

Jacob maintained the most defensive of stances in front of Quil, who by now was falling in and out of consciousness from the pain. Terrible for him, but good for them as his erratic movements had diminished considerably, allowing them the room to fight while keeping their vigil.

Still, as strong as they were, they had the added burden of protecting a helpless body in addition to fighting. Sam's pack had the upper hand and they all knew it. It didn't take long for Sam to score a blow, then another on Quil's body beneath Jacob.

'I need you closer!' Jacob yelled to Leah and Seth after he fought off both Jared and Seth simultaneously, keeping their jaws away from Quil's neck.

Just then, Sam and his packmates catapulted back a dozen feet into the remains of the living room wall. Slowly as if in shock, they gingerly found their footing before all their movements stopped.

Bella landed softly by Jacob's side.

Leah breathed a sigh of relief as she briefly glanced around her to assess their situation.

Quil lay still save for a twitch here and there. She, Seth and Jacob stood between him and what was a moment before unrelenting approaches from the other three wolves in the room. Sam's pack remained exactly where they were when Bella froze them.

And Bella...

Bella stood catching her breath next to Jacob. The miniature sun that had encased her and Laurent had dissipated without a trace. And the vampire in question? He too was gone.

Leah gave her a quick side-glance before averting her eyes to the pack in front of them. Had she really done it? Just like that?

* * *

Bella conjured a snaking line of fire between her friends and Sam's pack. If any of those dogs tried anything, she was sure her reaction time would be fast enough to engulf them all in flames.

"Hey," Jacob gestured to the rising flams, "Keep that down. We don't want to scare them."

We don't? Bella did as he asked and tried to ignore the disappointment bubbling up inside her. She tried to ignore her shaking hands too.

Jacob's pack had already phased back and dressed. They waited while the others did the same. All the while, Bella watched and waited for one of them to slip...waited for just the hint of a misstep. Just one excuse...

She looked down suddenly to find Jacob's hand holding one of her own. The shaking subsided.

Behind them, Quil let out another pained groan which snapped them all back to the reality now before them. What were they going to do about Quil?

"Let us take him," Bella said. "Carlisle can help him."

"He's not yours to take," Sam growled.

"Be reasonable, Sam!" Jacob stepped in. "What can you do for him? You were trying to kill him 5 minutes ago. At least with us he has a chance."

"He's one of them now," Sam insisted. "A leech. A monster. He needs to die!"

Bang. The hearth-what was left of it-disintegrated in a shower of embers. Bella's eyes flashed as she pushed the three boys back until they stood flat against the only remaining wall in the house.

"Bella! Don't-"

"I am done with the three of you," she hissed. Jacob tried to intercept her but she was too fast and quickly made her way directly in front of Sam. "If you're not gonna listen to the guy who's still being nice to you despite your attitude, then I'm gonna make you listen to me. Me, the one who managed to make 50% of your vampire problems go away in 10 minutes."

"This is only happening because of you!" Sam bellowed. "From the very beginning, our people have been dying because they wanted you!"

 _Smack_.

Silence.

Everyone stared at the red mark on Sam's cheek and at the girl who caused it.

"Bitch," Sam snarled.

_Smack._

Again, she slapped him hard, only this time she added an extra sting so that the mark left a sizzling burn on his cheek.

"Stop!" Jacob shouted, horrified.

But Sam's face, after he registered and moved past the pain, transformed into an ugly grin. "Was that supposed to convince me?" He chuckled wryly. "Really, was that supposed to convince me how wrong about you we are? Oh please hit me again. Maybe the third time will be the charm."

It was Leah, not Jacob who held Bella back before she could attack Sam for a third time. Leah shared a look with Bella that gave her pause, and she instinctively moved aside as Leah stepped forward.

_Smack._

Oh shit.

Bella raised her eyebrows in surprise while Jacob just looked resigned. Behind them, Seth maintained the vigil over Quil but looked on to witness.

"Shut. The fuck. Up," Leah enunciated her words carefully. "You stupid, righteous, pathetic motherfucker."

Her words had the effect Bella's and Jacob's didn't. Sam shut up.

"You are a _shit_ protector, Sam. And a shittier leader. You wanna know what a good leader does when they get free help? They say thank you. _Thank you_ , you oversized canine!"

_Smack._

"A good leader listens to logic. A good leader admits when they're neck deep in horseshit. A good leader tries to dig their way out of the horseshit."

_Smack._

"In addition to a shit protector and shit leader, it turns out you're also a shit person, Sam. You are a shit, stupid, short-sighted _baby_. Because only a stupid baby spits on the only person who can solve all their problems. Fucking. _Baby_."

_Smack._

"This girl that you insist on antagonizing just killed a vampire. By her fucking self. How many does that make for you?" She turned to Bella.

"Two."

"A yes, two. How many have you killed, Sam, you miserable excuse for a dog?"

_Smack._

"Zero. You have gotten exactly _nowhere_ in two months. A better person, which we've established you are not, can still salvage this situation, work with the people offering their help and friendship, and make something of the shit world we now occupy. But no, you've decided to piss on the olive branch, piss on your tribe, not to mention piss on the most powerful motherfucking badass person in the world, because you're too fucking proud and _stupid_ to do otherwise."

Everyone in the room braced themselves for another smackdown, but none came. Seeing that Bella and Jacob were still staring wide eyed at her, Leah continued.

"Quil Ateara is dead," she paused. "That's what you're going to tell the tribe and the council. Victoria and Laurent attacked, and they specifically targeted _him_ because they smelled he was close to shifting. Which is the truth just as we warned you, you son of a bitch. We'll deal with Quil. You deal with this mess. Nod, shitface."

Sam nodded.

Leah turned her back on her ex and faced her pack mates. "Let's go," she ordered.


	83. Mercy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's Note I: This note should've come in the last chapter but I was honestly so psyched to FINALLY update that it was all I could do to just upload and sigh with relief. I know it's been ages since this was updated regularly. Like, people were born and potty trained and started school in all the time I haven't updated. Horrible. I'm sorry. Nothing bad happened, the opposite in fact. Life is good. I had major job changes with ever increasing responsibilities. Relationships. KIDS (they're great but fuck they drain everything out of you). You know, life. In addition to that, for a while I felt I had written myself into a corner and I couldn't think my way out of it. Luckily this has changed. While I will not promise you anything (I don't want to guilt myself to death if I can't keep to a regular update schedule) I can say that in the last couple of months I've managed to flesh out the remainder of the story enough that I feel good about proceeding again. There is an endgame. There is a resolution for every character. I have no idea how many more chapters it will take. I have no idea if we're in the 1st or 2nd half right now. But there is a plan. And I can't wait to weave my 45 pages of notes (yeeesh!) into finishing this story. I'm so grateful for all of you. Those of you who have waited 6 years between chapter 81 and 82, ugh I feel terrible that you've had to wait so long. I hope you won't have to do that again.
> 
> Author's Note II: Soundtrack for this chapter is "Life and Death" by Paul Cardall.

Edward heard their thoughts before the smell overpowered his senses. He paused to make sense of the jumble in their minds before shouting for Carlisle. The thoughts he heard painted a grotesque picture, and he tried to frantically explain to Carlisle what he had yet to see with his own eyes. Christ...

"No," he told Carlisle when he made for the front door. "You need to get the equipment ready. It's bad."

Carlisle nodded at his son and bolted upstairs to the library that served as their makeshift hospital room in dicey situations. From the ashen look on his son's face, this may be the diciest one yet.

Edward quickly opened the door before the party crashed into it. Bella and Jacob ran up the stairs with the malformed creature floating in front of them, not bothering to exchange pleasantries. No one tried to stop them. Instead, they turned to Leah and Seth, the latter of whom sagged to the ground and burst into tears.

"What happened?" Alice asked while Jasper ran to the kitchen and back with bottled water for the two. Esme tentatively took a step forward and when neither of the Quileutes reacted, sat next to Seth and took him into her arms.

Leah shuddered and explained.

Edward, who heard more vividly than the others thanks to his intrusive gift, listened to Leah go over everything starting with Jacob and Bella's fact finding mission in La Push all the way to the disastrous encounter with the nomads and the La Push pack.

It took several moments for him to register what she had said. Bella killed Laurent. Bella killed Laurent.

Bella killed Laurent.

Seth looked up at Esme. "Will Quil be ok?" He asked in a small voice.

Esme opened and closed her mouth. "I don't know," she finally said sadly. "Carlisle will do everything he can, I promise."

The four vampires shared a quick look when both the wolves had their heads turned down. They all saw the state of Quil's body. The venom has been in his system for at least an hour. If the venom hasn't forced the wolf to revert back to human form, how on earth would they coerce the boy?

Edward suddenly visibly stiffend and looked himself ready to vomit.

Quil was screaming upstairs. Screaming not from his half changed mouth but in his head and now in Edward's too.

"God..." he whispered. Somehow, though he personally witnessed Rosalie and Emmett's painful transformations, the agony upstairs playing in his mind and his mind alone was far worse. He turned on his feet and ran to his room to try to drown out the screams with music.

* * *

**3 Days Later:**

Carlisle sat in his chair, his head in his hands as he tried in vain to think of something else to try. The last three days had slowed to a crawl while he researched, prodded, and injected the young man in an attempt to get through to him.

Nothing worked.

Quil teeter-tottered between silent anguish that sent his heart rate soaring to unconsciousness that seemed blessedly pain-free for the child.

The problem was ultimately a question of communication. The boy couldn't hear them through the white hot pain of the combined vampire and stalled wolf transformations. Not when they shouted at the top of their lungs. Not when his alpha commanded him in his russet wolf form. Not with any sedative, stimulant, or the various experimental drugs Carlisle happened to have on hand in the house. It was like the boy was frozen in time despite the venom coursing through one vein after the other. The venom is supposed to repair the body, improve every function and even heal it. Carlisle's enhanced eyes could see these effects on the few spots that retained their human shape, namely his extremities and parts of his torso. The rest of him however appeared tipped in favor of the wolf, and those parts were not changing at all.

"I don't know what else to do," he admitted.

"You're giving up?" Jacob pleaded. "No, please. You can't!"

Jacob, who had slept in fitfuls here and there in the last three days, stood from his makeshift bed by Bella's. Jacob had refused to leave Quil's side and Bella wouldn't leave Jacob's.

"I don't know what else to do," said Carlisle again. "We've tried everything. We-"

He stopped because at that moment Jacob shifted. Bel la, who had seen this play out a dozen times since they brought Quil to the house, sat back and looked away. In his wolf form, Jacob would try again and again to get through to Quil. Though by this point he knew it was futile, Carlisle couldn't find fault with Jacob's reasoning. The alpha voice was theoretically the best tool they had to force Quil to complete his wolf shift. That was the hope anyway. Compel him to complete the shift then compel him to shift back to human while his body was capable of change. But it didn't work. Over and over, Jacob tried. Leah and Seth tried to help too in case it was a matter of strength in numbers. None of it worked. Each time, the wolves phased back with ever dwindling hope, their minds drained from the deluge coming from Quil's.

He caught Bella's eye on the clock in the corner and knew she was thinking the same thing he was.

Quil was running out of time.

Three days. Give or take. That's how long it takes the venom to complete its journey and transform human to vampire. The chime on the clock indicated the passing of another hour. He knew Bella was making mental calculations just as he was. Four hours left. If they were lucky.

Carlisle was a doctor and he swore an oath to do no harm. Yet even he understood that the most ardent pro-lifer would think twice on the definition of "harm". In four hours, Quil would wake up. What would he awaken to?

* * *

Bella sat in the passenger seat of Rosalie's favorite Mercedes, waiting. The sun had risen an hour ago and one could be forgiven for admiring the forest's beauty. She breathed in the clean air. Breathed in Rosalie's scent which for some reason was stronger here than anywhere else in the house. And she waited.

It could've been 10 minutes or it could've been an hour. She was tired enough that she knew she had drifted in and out without ceremony over the last three days. Enveloped by Rosalie's scent, she nodded off then woke up abruptly to find Edward in the car with her.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Sure. She took in a few mouthfuls of air to calm her pounding heart.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "It's just a little easier outside."

Bella nodded, instantly understanding. Of everyone in the house, Edward had taken the lion's share of the misery that was Quil Aetera. Jacob, Leah and Seth phased many times and tried in vain to guide him to lucidity. During those shifts, they suffered the oft-times incoherent, oft-times horribly coherent screams of a tortured and confused child. But at least when they shifted back, the sound didn't follow.

Not so for Edward.

Save for a few precious quiet hours during which Quil lost consciousness, Edward heard everything. Three days of near constant cacophony in his head-Bella was truthfully shocked he stayed.

"They're making their decision now," he said.

She nodded. She already knew that of course. The rest of the Cullens had also vacated. They didn't go far, just far enough to give the humans privacy. Jacob, Leah and Seth were huddled together inside deciding what they would do with Quil. It was why she too opted to leave the house. She didn't feel right listening, nor even being in the same space. No, the pack was making the hardest decision anyone could make and she had no business being a part of it. Not when she shouldered some of the blame.

Something of her thoughts must have shown on her face.

"None of this should've happened."

She laughed bitterly. "Yea, I'm aware I fucked up."

"You did," he said. "And however this turns out, you had a hand in ruining that kid's life."

Bella's nose flared unintentionally. Her hands balled into fists as she stared hard out the windshield.

Edward turned from her and chose to watch the house instead. He sighed. "So did I, regrettably."

"What?" said Bella, unable to hide the surprise from her voice.

"She played me," he said softly. "I think she knew I was spying on her. That I would feed you everything I learned from her. She knew you'd come. Don't you see? She has all the evidence she needs to damn this family. She has a first hand account of you killing a vampire now."

Laurent's pupils, wide with fear and pain, flashed before her own waking eyes.

"She didn't see it," she whispered. "No one did."

He shrugged. "She saw enough. No matter, I should've known. Instead I grasped at the first thing that seemed plausible so I could get the hell out of there. And now that kid..."

Bella said nothing. Instead she watched piece after piece of Laurent's flesh rip off his body, sizzle and burn. She swallowed hard and wondered if her heart was giving her away.

"I'm going to find her," said Edward.

She turned again, startled. "What? You don't need to do that. Your cover is blown!"

He shook his head. "I don't want to spy on her, Bella. I want to kill her."

"Edward, you said it yourself. Her gift keeps her safe. What makes you think you can catch her?"

He closed his eyes and shuddered. Bella had almost forgotten-this entire conversation had a background sympany for him. Quil was still screaming like a banshee.

"I have a gift too," he said as he gritted his teeth. "I'll find her. And I'll kill her."

His murderous glare softened abruptly and he turned back to the house.

"They've decided."

* * *

The densest person on earth would've known exactly what was about to happen. Bella had only to glance for a moment at Jacob, Leah or Seth for their decision to be clear.

Quil Aetera would not see another sunrise.

How could he? He was a literal Frankenstein with no hope of acceptance in the real world. La Push would never take him. He couldn't mix with humans. If the venom finished the job, they would be condemning him to an eternity of hell. In the end, that's not a life Jacob, Leah or Seth would choose for themselves. They had to trust that a lucid Quil would agree.

Not that it made what they had to do any easier.

Ever the gracious host, Carlisle was the first to volunteer before he was quickly shot down by all three wolves.

"No," Leah reminded him. "The treaty."

Of course. Though La Push washed its hands clean of Quil Aetera, none of them were under the impression that the pack wouldn't declare the treaty null and void if a Cullen were to put him out of his misery.

"I'll do it," said Jacob. "Bella, would you...can you move him please?"

She nodded and gently brought him down the stairs, through the house and out the door.

Walking a step behind Jacob, she watched him, mind lost in this awful thing he was about to do. Quil had mercifully lost consciousness again, though Bella suspected Carlisle may have given him an extra large dose of morphine. They walked slowly but surely through the forest until they arrived at a stream and Bella gently lowered him to the ground.

It was the stream where she first met Emmett.

She swallowed and took in her friend once again. Jacob had never killed, she knew. He was unspoiled, and maybe it was a desire to keep him from irreversibly tainting himself that compelled Bella to blurt out-

"I can do it, Jake."

Her ledger had already increased this week. What's another number if it meant stopping Jake from adding a friend to his?

"I can do it," she repeated softly. "I'll make it quick."

He really seemed to consider it. Bella could tell he desperately wanted to take the out she was offering. But she knew before he opened his mouth that he would decline.

"I'm his Alpha, Bella. Thank you...but I need to do this."

Nodding, she turned and spotted Leah and Seth making their way down from the house. When they made it to Jacob, he predictably tried to dismiss them but Leah shook her head.

"We're his pack too," she reminded him. "We want to be with him."

A brief pause but Jacob acquiesced, grateful, Bella knew, that he needn't be alone.

It was time for her to go. She picked a direction and started to walk.

* * *

There was no point busying herself with client emails or cooking or laundry. Unless she left the house and ran in the opposite direction, there was no hiding from what was happening by the stream.

That stream...how their lives have changed since they heard Bella's voice wafting through their window a year...my goodness a year and a half ago. To have so much change in so little time following nearly a century of stillness...and all because of one young girl.

Somehow without any gifts of her own, Esme sensed that she was needed elsewhere. She signaled to Carlisle and, as though he too were eager to be anywhere else, followed her in the direction where Bella had taken off.

* * *

She was still walking when they caught up with her. Only when Esme laced her hand in hers did she stop.

Esme took in the tear-soaked face in front of her before gathering her into her arms.

"Oh honey," she said. "Come on..."

They sat on either side of her on the forest floor. Esme would be lying if she said part of her wasn't worried the girl would run for it. Come to think of it, they'd seen so little of her since Rosalie left...

"Bella," Carlisle said. "What happened over there?"

She told them, but Esme wasn't stupid. Her version of events did not deviate far from what Leah had already shared. She was holding something back.

Nevertheless when she finished, Carlisle leaned forward and said, "we'll make contingencies in case we need to leave on short notice. Contingencies for _you_ , Bella," he added at her stare. "In case we all need to go."

Esme thought that was the end of that, but Bella as usual surprised them.

"I...I wouldn't go," she said.

"What?"

Bella looked at her lap and continued. "Look, if Rose...if Rosalie doesn't come back-"

"Then that petulant child will have me to answer to!" Esme exclaimed.

"You shouldn't tie yourself to me. It's too dangerous."

"Bella-"

"No, please!" The tears streamed freely down her face now. "I've brought you nothing but trouble. I didn't listen to you and look at what happened. I'm so sorry."

Carlisle signed. "Yes, you should've come to us, Bella. But you didn't do this to the boy. Victoria did."

"Because of me," she countered. "She wouldn't even be here if not for me. You know I'm right."

Esme searched for something to say but found herself unable to come up with the words. Cold logic found reason in the girls' admission. There was no doubting Victoria's obsession with Bella. Her single-minded pursuit of revenge for her dead mate was what was fueling the misery in La Push and the wilderness around Forks.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Bella, don't dismiss what you did to Laurent. Thanks to you, there's one less nomad out there. You saved countless lives he would have taken in order to feed."

His words did not have their intended effect.

Bella did not look comforted. In fact she looked downright distraught.

"I tortured him," she whispered. "I tore him apart inch by inch. Made him watch himself burn..."

She swallowed thickly and mumbled, "I shouldn't be here..."

"Bella this is nonsense!" Esme didn't raise her voice often but she found herself rising an octave. It was paramount that she got through to her. "You know you're like a daughter to us!"

"A daughter who's tearing your family apart. Rose-"

"Rosalie is a foolish child who will soon realize what a terrible mistake she's making!"

"Is she though? Wouldn't it be better for her, for all of you, to cut your losses now? Esme you know it'll only get worse!"

God how she knew. The ticking of the clock, formerly something none of them bothered to note, now weighed heavily with each passing day. Every day was a day closer to Bella's inevitable death. How long would they have with her? With her talent for antagonizing vampires and wolves alike, Esme wasn't sure old age would be an issue.

She swallowed. "That doesn't matter," she held the girl's hands in her own and continued. "Bella we know we can't replace your parents and we wouldn't try to, but sweetie you can't reason with love. We love you. Carlisle and I-we love you just as we love our own. You have been good for us, Bella. Don't ever think differently."

"Bella, it's a testament of our love and commitment to you that we've asked you to turn," said Carlisle. "I know," he added when she started to protest, "you've made your position clear and I respect it. But you're mistaken if you think we'll turn our backs on you now. Whether or not you become a vampire, you are a part of this family for as long as you live. We will never abandon you."

"You may not have a choice," Bella whispers. "The Volturi..."

"If it comes to a fight, then so be it," Carlisle says solemnly. "We'll fight for you."

"And what if I'm the one you have to fight?"

Silence. Esme and Carlisle paused, but really they shouldn't be shocked. So this where she was leading them...

"Bella I don't think-" Carlisle started but she cut him off.

"No!" Bella stood and backed away, pacing. "It's nice that you think I'm so great and I'm going to work my hardest to be better for you, but you can't deny I'm dangerous. If it comes down to my life or yours, or my life and the safety & well being of innocent people, I need to know that you'll make the right choice."

Esme's stomach tightened. "What do you mean?" She asked slowly.

Bella straightened and looked at them both squarely. "Promise me," she said. "Promise me that you'll put me down if I go too far."

Esme and Carlisle looked at her horrorstruck. "We-"

"You're the kindest people I know," Bella said softly. "The very best. I know you wouldn't want to see innocents die if you can help them."

"Laurent was hardly innocent," Carlisle interjected.

"It's not just Laurent," Bella whispered, looking at the ground. "I was going to kill Sam. And Paul and Jared. I would've, I really would've killed them all if Jake and Leah..."

She shook her head. "They'll never win the Nobel Peace Prize but they're not monsters either. I have no right to make that call but I made it back there. And I would've..."

She looked up and met their eyes. "Please. Help me...but promise me that if you fail, you make sure I can't hurt anyone else."

Esme and Carlisle looked at each other.

"All right, Bella," Carlisle agrees while Esme nods. "You have our word."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking forward to hearing from you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for every constructive review!


	84. Restless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
> 
> Author's Note: Soundtracks for this chapter are 'Tales from the Loop' by Philip Glass, 'Because This Must Be' by Nils Frahm, and 'The Winter' by Balmorhea.

Not without good reason, the mood in the Cullen home sank further into despondency than ever before. Rosalie, long gone but whose absence seemed more keenly felt than her presence, showed no signs of making any sort of decision, much to Emmett's and Alice's annoyance. Jasper's frustration with the family for not taking a more direct role in persuading Bella to change her mind was leaking out constantly, making it hard for any of them to be around him for long. Alice herself was unable to be of any use to anyone while the pack lingered, and so had taken to traveling away from the house more frequently just so she could get a glimpse of something...anything...but alas she got nothing from Victoria, their one big problem that has yet remained at large. And finally, Carlisle and Esme, after numerous arguments with Edward after Quil's death, were languishing with worry over him.

Edward had decided to search for Victoria on his own, and no amount of pleas from any of them had persuaded him from what they all believed to be a foolish mission. He was convinced, he said over and over, that the nomad had enough evidence to damn the family. The only thing that could save them now was to stop her from going to the Volturi.

" _That means someone needs to kill her, and I have the best chance here of doing that," he had said after all attempts to dissuade him failed and he and Alice were saying their goodbyes._

" _Don't lock me out like you did before," said Alice after hugging him tightly. "Let me watch out for you at least."_

_He smiled gently, and for a brief moment Alice and Edward were their old selves...each other's favorite sibling, driving the family bonkers with the silent and near instantaneous way they could talk to each other._

_But the moment didn't last because his next parting words to her were, "You keep an eye on her too. Make sure she doesn't hurt anyone."_

_Alice knew, watching him disappear into the forest, that his final warning had nothing to do with the rabid nomad he was setting out to hunt._

* * *

Bella chuckled at the look on Leah's face after she went over the day's to-do list.

"You do this for fun?" Leah asked, incredulously.

She shrugged. The list was long, sure, but nothing overwhelming. Today's work in the cottage consisted of finishing up the spackling in the bedroom and bathroom so they could start painting and installing the molding in those rooms.

"You don't have to do this," Bella reminded her. "I'm perfectly capable."

Leah grumbled but tied on her apron nonetheless, before picking up one of the two spackling knives on the floor.

"Where should I start?"

Something unexpected but not unwelcome happened after the awful events at La Push and the subsequent three days with Quil on the Cullen property. Leah-snide, bitter, bitchy Leah had finally thawed her icy demeanor towards Bella. So improved was their relationship in fact, one might, upon close inspection, actually consider the two friends.

Bella led her to the wall and showed her how to grip the knife so the spackle wouldn't lump up. She carefully avoided looking at the bed-the only major piece of furniture in the little cottage, now protected from dust by spare sheets from the Cullens' house-but still managed to remember in excruciating detail the last time Rosalie had lay in it with her. Perhaps it was the speed with which Bella exited the room that clued Leah in on her thoughts, because the female wolf thankfully used some of her newly acquired tact and steered clear of the subject that was so obviously painful for her.

Five hours later, after a few do-overs and more than a few eye rolls from Leah, they finished the to-do list, showered, and found themselves walking down Port Angeles' main shopping drag with Alice.

"Take it easy today, Alice," Bella said though she held back a smile. "She's not used to what you call shopping."

"Moi?" Alice replied in mock outrage. "She should be grateful I'm taking time out of my day to help with this. And to think you were about to take her shopping at the Thriftway!"

"Hey! _She_ is right here!" Leah grumbled. "And I don't need designer wear for school."

Alice closed her eyes. "She thinks Port Angeles has designer wear, good grief..."

"Just don't get your vampy scent on everything!"

"Says the dog whose fleas are crawling all over my car."

"You volunteered, shorty!"

Bella rolled her eyes. It was a good thing she was walking in between them.

"Can you two shut up already?"

Bella could tell the animosity on either side of her was half-hearted at best. Wolves and vampires were not supposed to get along and while neither of the girls hated the other as much as they were supposed to and indeed, as much as they used to, neither of them refused to cease the steady and often escalating abusive banter.

It was, to put it mildly, exhausting.

Both Alice and Leah turned the other way, though they continued to walk on either side of Bella, quieted for a few blessed minutes. Not for the first time, Bella wished she was with Jasper, Jacob, and Seth instead for the other trio was doing the exact same thing right at this very moment. Unlike Alice though, Jasper wasn't morally affronted by accompanying the male pack members to the Thriftway. He preferred it rather, Bella knew, to the much more crowded Port Angeles. Not that it would have mattered too much, for that was another surprising development made in the days after Quil's death. Finding no other guy to hang out with (who wasn't either a mind-reading creep or like a kid brother) and needing to talk about anything but what had just transpired, Jacob cautiously approached the 150-year old vampire and to everyone's surprise, the two struck up a tenuous friendship. It helped, Jasper later confided in her, that his scent was so repulsive he felt no desire to physically get close to him, much less drain his blood. Jacob and Seth's scents were so bad in fact, it actually helped Jasper tamp down his bloodthirstiness around humans too. Which is why, though ordinarily he would not have volunteered for an excursion to town without a family member to help keep him in check, Jasper found himself walking through Forks surrounded by humans on a busy Saturday. So long as Jacob or Seth stayed close (and they both knew to) he would be alright.

They were rounding the corner just before their destination when an unpleasant sound tore Bella away from her musings.

Catcalls. Multiple ones.

"Ignore them," said Alice nonchalantly. "Happens everyday."

But Bella didn't want to ignore them. They shouted unsolicited flattery after flattery but what they said to each other, thinking themselves out of earshot, carried an entirely different flavor. Out of their mouths and straight into her ears their words tumbled, and Bella was nearly overcome with a rage that burned white hot. Nearly, were it not for Alice's cool hand and Leah's warm one dragging her across the store's threshold.

"Chill, Pyro," said Leah. She was eyeing her wearily. "Save it for the real baddies, ok?"

Bella nodded once, eager to put distance between herself and whatever unpleasantness lay outside the store. Eager too, for distance from what could've, what would've happened if she had not had anyone to reel her in.

* * *

All morning, they sat without saying more than a few words to each other. Charlie was a loner at heart and Bella...well, you don't survive seven years by yourself in the wilderness without learning to appreciate the quiet. Not that this was exactly quiet; they could hear the trees rustling on either side of the river and the water rippled as fish of all sizes swam about. But it was the unceasing tapping that finally broke the silence between them.

"You nervous because you can't swim or something?"

Bella looked at him questioningly then realized he was referring to her tapping foot. In relation to the peace of the Quillayute River around them, she was probably making a racket against the aluminum frame of Billy's boat.

"Sorry," she said, and stopped moving.

"It's ok," Charlie replied. "For real though, can you swim?"

She watched him make an adjustment to her fishing rod while she answered. "Yeah. I taught myself."

And that was that for another 40 minutes. Charlie busied himself with the tackle box and the two poles occasionally, while Bella watched the horizon and fiddled first with the material of her jeans and then the silver necklace that hung close to her heart.

Rosalie's necklace.

Her foot started again without her realizing it, unaware that Charlie was giving both her and the jewelry furtive glances.

He cleared his throat. "I, uh, noticed Rosalie hasn't been coming by."

Bella said nothing. Her heart had seized up as usual when Rosalie's name was uttered. It was unnatural hearing it come from Charlie's mouth though. This whole outing felt unnatural, despite her initial excitement when Charlie suggested they go fishing together while the weather was good and before school resumed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Charlie asked, looking most uncomfortable and indeed, like he wanted nothing more than the exact opposite.

She shook her head. No she really didn't want to talk about her girlfriend wanting her to become a vampire. She didn't want to talk about Rosalie running, leaving her yet again. She didn't want to talk about how it felt like her center of gravity was shifting repeatedly inside her. It was now 5 weeks since Rosalie had left. 5 weeks since Emmett disappeared after her. 5 weeks since Bella heard either of their voices, for she was afraid...so very afraid of what would be said if she made that phone call. She wanted to scream.

"I see..." Charlie looked at his lap before continuing. "Well, things happen. People change I guess...the others are ok though, right? No trouble with the other kids? Carlisle and Esme?"

It was possible he was fishing for more than rainbow trout. Charlie was sure to be curious of her relationship with the most talked about family in Forks. He had never brought it up before with her, but to be perfectly blunt he had never acted like a real father before either.

"They're fine," she replied.

But they weren't, really. You'd have to be a fool not to see the sadness that permeated the days spent with her adopted family now. Bella's refusal of immortality had indeed reminded them that she was anything but. She couldn't understand why this changed so much though. It made sense with Rosalie, but the rest? Until of course she started to wonder just how much planning they had been doing without her knowledge. What sort of future-because clearly they'd dreamt of one-had they concocted that involved Bella Swan with golden eyes? And how.. _.how_ can they so easily forget, so easily overlook that before one gets golden eyes they must first live with red ones?

The tapping increased.

He started at her, apprehension clearly written on his face. "You sure? Are...are you sure it's safe?"

She whipped her head back, eyes flashing. "Yes, Charlie, just like the last time you asked me," she hissed. "It's been years since I've had an accident! I'm not 9 years old anymore."

He looked away, and Bella, furious with herself for being the one to dredge this up, practically vibrated from the anxiety. She could never forget, but she had also worked very hard to lock certain memories into the deepest reaches of her mind. There was enough plaguing her thoughts these days...this was the last thing she wanted to add to it.

_Calm waters...Golden sunsets...Golden eyes...Golden hair..._

It was her turn to look away so she could hide the tear burning its way down her cheek.

They sat like that for several minutes, separated by much more than the three feet between their seats, when Bella's reel jerked and bagan to unspool. Charlie grinned, probably more grateful for a break in the discomfort in the air than the potential fish, and helped her reel in her catch.

"Very nice," he nodded as he watched her pack the fish in the ice box like he showed her. "That'll make a fine dinner."

Bella closed the cooler after visually measuring the enormous fish and muttered, once more without thinking, "Wish I thought of this when I was younger..."

And just like that, the heavy silence returned. Bella and Charlie resumed their posts by their respective chairs and fishing poles, neither one willing to divulge any more of their thoughts. Both of them, ironically enough, were thinking about the same thing. Bella's thoughts had wandered to the grim early years when her strongest memories were of those she killed and the endless hunger. And Charlie...Charlie doubted he would ever have the courage to ask how she had managed to survive...for his mind had lingered on that cursed night nearly 9 years ago, and all the nights since during which he wondered what he should have...what he _could_ have done differently.

* * *

After an hour of unsuccessful attempts to fall asleep, Bella gave up and climbed up to the shed's sloped roof. It was a tried and true band-aid she had often employed to relax her racing mind, and she hoped it would work tonight. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Laurent melting piece by piece. Every time, she saw herself thrilled by it. She saw Charlie, horrified and disappointed at what she had done and what she still longed to do. She saw the Cullens, saw their lingering sadness that would only get worse as time crawled unrelentlessly forward. But most of all, she saw Rosalie. Their last moments played over and over like a skipped record...the beauty of Rosalie coming to terms with her nature...the question that sent daggers into Bella's heart...Bella's answer and the look on Rosalie's face when she gave it...

She regretted the finality of her answer-Bella could at least admit that she had chosen her words poorly. She should've eased Rosalie into it...should've explained her reasoning first and then the ultimate conclusion. But of the two, Bella was not the one to leave. She was not the one to disappear after promising to do the opposite. She promised. She promised...

Anger burned its way through her veins. Her chest seemed to reverberate like a canon and for a moment she wondered how Charlie couldn't hear it from the house. She tried...she tried everything that had worked before to calm herself, but the flame of anger was lit and nothing would extinguish it. Except...no...

She berated herself as she jumped off the roof and walked the perimeter of the structure over and over as if she could outrun the errant thought that had sparked in her. But it was like trying to avoid the only flame in an otherwise pitch black room. It couldn't be done. Even with eyes screwed shut, the light drew you in.

_Laurent was hardly innocent._

No, she supposed he wasn't. Carlisle and Esme felt no moral quandary over his death, and had made it clear she shouldn't either. But they weren't there. They didn't see Bella's excitement grow as his panic did...didn't see her wicked smile as he tried to plead with her...

_Laurent was hardly innocent._

She repeated the words like a prayer.

A snapping twig caused her to whip her head and stare into the treeline. When she saw nothing after a minute of hard searching, she called on the breeze to paint her a picture of what lay beyond her sight and it came back with a huge figure sitting not twenty yards from her shed. An enormous wolf.

She chuckled humorlessly. Of course. Count on the Uley pack to make watching _her_ a priority.

_Well they're not wrong...I am dangerous._

And before anything irreversible could happen...before the flames in her palms could grow any further...before the embers inside her could pinpoint the location in the forest...she was airborne...above the sea of trees...parallel to the road out of Forks...darting over buildings...and then she was motionless again on a flat rooftop in the middle of Port Angeles.

Her brain hadn't yet worked out what she was doing, but something inside her knew...for no sooner had her feet landed on the roof then she started to scan her surroundings. The sounds of the night wafted into her ears. It was extremely late. Stores had long shuttered. Few people were out at this time of night. But by fortuitous chance it was the last call at the handful of bars that dotted Route 101 and she sensed large groups lingering in that vicinity.

After maneuvering herself closer to that general area, she stood and listened, watched, and waited. It didn't take long.

She saw the woman exiting the bar alone, her head down, face illuminated by her phone's screen. She stumbled several times, turned down a street then retraced her steps, clearly unsure where to go. She didn't see the men following...but Bella did.

Just like the other day, she heard both their shouted drunken compliments and the darker intentions they mumbled to each other. The woman was so far gone though, Bella couldn't tell if she heard them...if she had any inclination of the danger not thirty paces behind her.

Unlike before, there was no Alice or Leah here to hold her back.

It was hours later when Bella returned to her shed. The woman had long since found her uber, unaware of what had transpired two blocks over. The men were surely on their way to a hospital by now after Bella used one of their phones to dial, then hang up on the 911 operator. They would live, but their burns would forever remind them of what sort of scum they really were. And Bella? She fell into deep, dreamless sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note II: Sigh...I know, I know...when is she gonna catch a break? Why are things so damn dark and dreary? Well, need I remind you that we are in New Moon (ish) territory right now. New Moon is depressing. In New Moon, doormat Bella is pining for the dude she barely knows and has a psychotic break with reality. My Bella has issues too and they are far more justified. She's holding herself together way better than canon Bella did...she is functioning, after all. But below the surface...well...Rosalie has been, to put it in imprinting terms, her center of gravity. She was always the one (and to a certain degree, Emmett as well) that kept her grounded and at peace with her potential for violence. That's now gone, and we've added yet another PTSD-inducing trauma with Laurent...Ugh, poor Bells.


End file.
